I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, cringe and grammar mistakes.
Chapter 125: Brawl Taunts
"Okay, now this trilogy is a classic." Nova said.
"Trilogy?" Ruby said.
"They're short videos."
Brawl Taunts 1
Toon Link: Being young has never been this refreshing. I wonder what kind of joys await me in the world of Super Smash Bros Brawl! (Breaks a Smash Ball) Haaa!
"Wow, it's veeeery old. Older than anything else so far." Jaune said.
C. Falcon: Show me your boobs!
Z. S. Samus: Heh. Sorry. You're gonna need more than a Falcon Punch if you want to get some of this.
"Yo, look at those poorly drawn curves." Yang said.
Sonic: I'm too cheap!
Sonicfag 1: Sonic is not cheap! Sonic's just fast!
Sonicfag 2: Dude, isn't... he the reason they banned Smash Ball at our tournaments?
"Was his final smash that broken?" Ruby said.
"I don't really care." Nova said.
Snake: I'm too sexy for my box.
"Yeah, Snake is kinda thicc." Yang said.
Peach: Ah! Finally, I can get to meet a real man!
Mario: Hey, excuse me, princess, what about me?
"Oh, there it comes!" Nova said.
Dedede: You can have MY BIG GAY DANCE! (Does the dance)
Some of them laughed a little.
"Don't tell me he does that in the game." Blake said.
"That was his final smash."
"No way!" Yang said.
Link: (Link screams)
Marth: Dude. What are you trying to say?
Link: (more Link screams)
"So he only screams?" Pyrrha said.
"He never talks." Jaune said.
Ike: Uh, I think he's trying to say that someone kicked him really hard in the ballz and now all he can do is that high-pitched squealing noise.
Marth: (gay) Oh... so that's why he sounds like a 14 year old kid on Newgrounds.
"Uh, how many gay jokes are there?" Yang said.
"A lot. And I think it gets more offensive as it goes." Nova said.
Sonic: Sonic's the name, speed is my game! Haha!
Mario: Oh, how about I steal your coins so you can't buy more drugs then? Woohoo!
Wario: Wah, come here, Ness! (Ness runs away.)
"Is Wario a pedophile in this?" Weiss said.
"Maybe?" Nova said.
Ness: P. K. Thunder!
Wario: (laughs) Your moves are-a useless!
Ness: Ahhh! Help me, Lucas!
Lucas: No! I'm gonna run away like a little pussy!
Wario: You can't run from-a me!
Lucas: Yeah, I can. Ur 2 phat.
Wario: Damnit.
Some of them giggled.
Yoshi: Fireballs, yum!
Zelda: Oh look, it's a useless character. But he's so cute!
Ike: Hey, shut up! You're not supposed to talk!
Zelda: Well, you're not supposed to be so cheap, Ike!
"But she has-" Ruby said.
Zelda: Uh, I mean, yeah, I have fireballs, but, you know.
Kirby: Hiii~!
Ike: YOU SHUT UP TOO! AND STOP CAMPING JUST SO YOU CAN DO THAT ANNOYING ASS TAUNT!
Peach: Luigi, how come your final smash is so much better than Mario's?
"Look how he's staring at her chest!" Yang said.
"Luigi likes your boobies!" Nora said.
Luigi: It's so that people can finally pay attention to Weegee.
Peach: (0_0) Oh... Hey, Mario. Let's go. (Leaves)
"Press L in the chat." Yang said.
"Ha ha, funny joke. You're happy now." Nova said.
"Don't ruin it."
"You're doing it yourself." Blake said.
Luigi: WAHHH! WHY DOES NO ONE PAY ATTENTION TO WEEGEE?!
Snake: So Samus, how about you show me that final smash? (Samus does her finals smash and she wears her armor now.) Wait, what the hell was that?
Samus: I put my glove back on.
Snake: (sits on the floor sadly) What the hell kind of final smash is that...?
They all laughed a little.
Snake: (alert sound) (He sees Samus aiming her cannon at him.) No... No...! NOOOO! (She shoots him.)
(Codec call)
Colonel: Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAAAAKE!
FIN
"That's it?" Weiss said.
"Wait! Pikachu wasn't in it! Not a single Pokémon!" Ruby said.
"Don't worry, there will be in the next one." Nova said.
Brawl Taunts 2
Chris Niosi: Hey, uh... Uh, listen, uh... I'm been thinking about this. I don't... (Rina Chan is staring at him, menacingly) I don't know if we need to do a sequel. I mean... yeah, the first one was great, yeah, I mean, it was on there for a while, but... I mean, just... the pressure... the people... It stood up on it's own, it doesn't... it doesn't need a sequel, it's fine... (She aims a gun at his head) It's- oh god, DON'T HURT ME DONT HURT ME, OH GOD, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! (Uploads the video)
Some of them were laughing a little.
"I'm wondering, what did you find that was so funny?" Weiss sais
"What kind of intro was that?!" Pyrrha said.
"I don't think that he liked what he made." Ren said.
(It's Snake vs Meta Knight. They're fight each other, in the end, Snake fricking bites him, dealing 205% damage.)
Snake: Tasty. (He gets a call on his codec and gets in his box to answer.)
Otacon: Hey Snake, what is Meta Knight saying about his damage level?
Snake: It's um... over 200%.
"Nooo, you ruined the reference!" Nora said.
Otacon: Damnit, Snake! You didn't get the reference at all! Why don't you recognize the validity of internet memes?!
"Because they're just memes?" Weiss said.
"You do realize that memes are the reason Trump became president, right?" Nova said.
"Really?!"
Snake: Stop whining, I'm not gonna bang you tonight.
Pit: So, I got a spammy projectile, a regular A spam, a reflector shield, wings. What don't I have?
"Control over your voice. That was too loud." Blake said.
Z. S. Samus: Well, your balls haven't dropped.
(Falco and Fox are fighting. Falco backs up but falls off the stage. His up-B didn't help him, so he lost a stock.)
Falco: Fire! Oh, oops! I died.
Fox: Dude, that's like the third time this match!
Wolf: First rule of fur faggotry: You don't recover.
Fox: Well, technically he doesn't have fur, so... I guess that makes him a feather fag.
"Okay, you were right about the gay jokes."
"I think there is more about being bad at gaming than being gay." Yang said.
Slippy: Hey guys, guys! Why wasn't I included in Super Smash Bros Brawl? Huh, huh, huh?
Fox and Wolf: Isn't it obvious?!
Pokémon Trainer: Way to go, Ivysaur!
"Finally, Pokémon!" Ruby said.
Pokémon: You can do it, Squirtle! Off the butt, Charizard! I'm really f*cking annoying, Charizard! Don't you think so, Crapping Falcon?
C. Falcon: Yes!
Some of them laughed.
(He jumps out of his ship.)
C. Falcon: C'mon!
(Now a reference from the F-Zero anime.)
Pokémon Trainer: (subtitles) I AM NOT FOR DIE! YOU DIE!
"Huh?"
C. Falcon: Farukon... PAUNCHI! (He sends the trainer flying) It's super effective!
"What reference was that?" Yang said.
"A scene from the F-Zero anime." Nova said.
"It had an anime?"
Fox: (does his taunt) Here I come! Here I come! Here I come!
Peach: Oh! You're disgusting! (She uses a Toad as a shield.)
"Where did she get that Toad from?" Jaune said.
"Did she had that under her dress?"
Fox: I'm disgusting? You're the one who pulls Toads out of her vag-
R.O.B.: (unintelligible screaming)
They all laughed.
"That makes so much sense! That why her ass is so big!" Nora said.
Purple dude: Hey guys. You know what would be awesome? In Brawl, if like they added Cloud from Final Fantasy VII? (giggles)
"Whoa, did they predict Cloud in Smash?" Yang said.
(Ike knocks him down.)
Purple dude: Ike, help me...
Ike: You get no sympathy from me. I'm the only pretty boy in this game. Bitch!
"So Cloud's moment with Ike makes sense." Jaune said.
Pikachu: Okay, so in the first movie all the reviewers were saying 'Hey what happened to Pikachu? Why isn't Pikachu in there? He's so cute!', well you know what?! I'm tired of trying to be cute! I want to fucking impress you people, so I'm here! I'm in it! You happy now?!... Hey! No one's paying attention to me anymore!
"Isn't it cute?" Ruby said.
Luigi: Now you know how Weegee feels.
Mr. Game and Watch: (does A tap)
Link: Uhhh, why is he doing that in public?
"Wait, he talks now?" Weiss said.
Zelda: Link, he spent so much time on the Newgrounds forums. He doesn't know better anymore.
Link: Oh gross.
Zelda: Wait a minute... how are you talking again? (She kicks him in the balls)
Link: (high-pitched screaming)
They all laughed.
"Zelda is such a bitch." Blake said.
Classic Donkey Kong: Fun fact: Did you know that Sean Schemmel, the original voice of Lucario, it's also the voice of Goku?
"Wait, really?! That's so awesome!" Ruby said.
Lucario: Kaaaa... Mmmmmeeeee...
Some of them laughed.
(Jigglypuff is a bit scared.)
"Jigglypuff is Krillin?" Jaune said.
"C'mon, show the Vegeta." Yang said.
Lucario: Haaaaaa... Meeeeee...
(Mewtwo is reading his power level.)
"Would it make sense if he was Frieza?" Ren said.
Lucario: (grunting)
Bowser: Godamnit, MARIO! Why can't I ever be a top-tier character?!
Mario: Silly Bowser. Tiers R 4 queers. (Bowser punches him in the face.) Ooh, mamma mia.
Bowser: Hey Peach. Uhh, can I get your MSN name? MySpace? Facebook? LiveJournal maybe?
"Wow, I forgot that LiveJournal existed." Nova said.
Peach: No, Bowser. You can haaaaaaave...
(Here it comes)
Dedede: The big gay dance! (Does his dance again)
"This is the best thing in the world." Nora said.
(The video ends)
Chris Niosi: *sigh* Alright. Now all you got to fo is sit back and wait until people put this on YouTube without crediting us.
Rina Chan: Oh come on, Kirb. No one would do that. (They both look at the viewers.)
[Credits]
"I guess people were doing that all the time." Ruby said.
"Unfortunately." Nova said.
Brawl Taunts 3
Rina Chan: Oh come on. Please~? Aww, come on. You can do it.
Chris Niosi: No, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO! A THOUSAND F*CKING TIMES NO!
"It seems that he had enough." Pyrrha said.
"Wait, she threatened him with a gun in the previous. Why is she pleading him now?" Weiss said.
Rina Chan: Yeah, but why don't we just-
Chris: NO! F*CK THIS MOVIE! F*CK THE BIG GAY DANCE! F*CK YOUR JOKES! F*CK SMASH BROTHERS! And most importantly, F*CK YOU! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS SH*T! GET SOMEBODY ELSE TO F*CKING DO IT! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! (He jumps off the window and falls to his death.)
Everyone was surprised.
"That's a lot of anger." Jaune said.
"Was there a reason to hate this?" Blake said.
"Besides people uploading it on YouTube without permission... I don't remember." Nova said.
Rina Chan: Somebody else, hmm... (She gets an idea and laughs demonically. She starts typing an email to other animators and sends it.)
[Title]
Pit: The spin is on!
Ike: Prepare yourself... (He takes of his clothes, Link and Zelda being shocked.) for my cock!
"I bet it's as big as his sword." Yang said.
Melee nerd: No! W-w-w-w-w-wait! You see, Brawl is for noobs. It takes no skill. No skill! Because you can't wavedash or L-Cancel. This should be called Melee Taunts!
(Other title)
Roy: Who are you? Mega Man?
Samus: I'm Samus, and you want to see me with my clothes off.
Roy: Actually no, I prefer Marthy Marth and his long sword!
"Marthy Marth?" Blake said.
Marth: Get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.
"Wow, it is longer." Ruby said.
"I guess we know who's the man in this relationship." Yang said.
Announcer: BROUGHT TO YOU BY MR. GAYMAN WATCH. AS IF BRAWL TOURNAMENTS WEREN'T ALREADY BIG ENOUGH SAUSAGE FESTS.
(Back to Brawl Taunts)
"Daaamn."
Ike: I fight for my friends.
Olimar: Oh yeah? Well, my friends fight for me. (A red Pikmin jumps at Ike.)
Some of them laughed.
"This is how family works, see?" Nora said, doing an impression.
(Montage off tripping)
"I don't get it." Ruby said.
Wolf: The conclusion: Gay tripping is gay.
"Tripping?" Jaune said.
"How was that gay tripping?" Weiss said.
"Oh yeah, Brawl has tripping." Nova said.
"By themselves?" Ren said.
"Why would they include tripping? It makes no sense. " Yang said.
Meta Knight: GIGUA... DORILLU... BREEEEEAAAAAAKA! (Hits R.O.B.)
"Isn't that from Gurren Lagann?" Jaune said.
"That was really cool!" Ruby said.
"Giant robot shows aren't that cool." Blake said.
"They are cool!" Jaune and Ruby said.
Toad: Jingle Bells, Koopa shells
Yoshi laid an egg
Oh what fun it is to ride
In Peach's dress all day
Peach: So at first I thought that it was just Toad. But there was Mr. Saturn, and bombs, and lightsabers!
"How much junk does she keep in her vagina?!" Nora said.
Dr. Mario: This must be because Kirby swallowed you.
(Kirby spams Up-B on Peach.)
"Is he saying 'Got AIDS'?" Yang said.
Bowser: You know Peach... Girls like you who set women's rights in back about 400 years... You are dressed in heels... (She wears heels) You bitch slap opponents... (She does that) You have a vegetable garden... (She does) And one your most powerful moves is your ASS! (It is)
They all laughed.
"Work with what you got."
(Peach gets angry and hits Bowser with a frying pan.)
"And she uses a frying pan!" Weiss said.
Bowser: Wher did you get that frying pan?!
"Don't say in the kitchen." Weiss said.
"Did she ever used a frying pan in the games?" Pyrrha said.
"As much as she used her ass. Never." Nova said.
Peach: Uuum... In my kitchen?
"I hate Peach." Weiss said.
Bowser: UGH, YOU SEE?!
(Codec call)
Colonel: Snake, we've got a huge ass problem on our hands.
Snake: Why so serious, Colonel?
"Do you want to know how I got these scars?" Nova said, doing an impression... and scaring Nora.
"It's okay." Ren said, comforting her.
"I hate clowns..." she said.
Colonel: That bird's priority is sky high!
Snake: Well personally, he prefers the air.
Falco: Objection, Snake! Personally, I prefer ya ass!
"He has a good taste." Yang said.
Slippy: Hey Snake, Snake, Snake!
Snake: (grunts) You only have to say it once, you know!
Slippy: I got to interrupt this call to bring you an important message! You see, the whole Brawl Taunts thing is a conspiracy! Kirbopher and Rina Chan were pandering to prepubescent Newgrounders in order to get the front page! Wait, wai-wait, there's more. It was secretly funded by Egoraptor and the government! (Snake knocks him out)
They all laughed.
"That was fast!" Pyrrha said.
Snake: I'm not asking you.
"How famous was Arin then?" Jaune said.
"A lot." Nova said.
(The online match loading screen. Sonic is waiting. It's still loading. He gets a little impatient. He had enough. He destroyed the TV.)
Sonic: You're too slow! Whoa! (Luigi does his final smash.) Hey! We should do drugs again, sometime!
"Huh?" Ruby said.
"Okay, that was the most confusing of them all so far." Yang said.
Jigglypuff: Ji~gally~FUUUUUUUCK!
(Samus's armor is destroyed.)
Yoshi: Wait! You're a girl?! *disgust sound*
Z. S. Samus: Stop pretending you didn't know that since Metroid 1.
"I mean, it was obvious by the armor's waist." Ren said.
Pokémon Trainer: Get back!
Charizard: What if I don't want to get back, huh? Huh?! You ever think of that, huh?! You never think of our feelings!
Squirtle: Squirtle squirtle!
Pokémon Trainer: Oh you can go, Squirtle! (And they start having sex?) Just a little more, Squirtle!
Squirtle: AH! SQUIRTLE SQUIRTLE!
Pokémon Trainer: Amazing job!
"What the fuck?!" Weiss said.
"Please don't tell me they had... intercourse...?" Ruby said. No one talked. "Why isn't anyone saying something?"
"You told us not to." Yang said.
Sheik: Gross.
C. Falcon: FALCOOOON... (Jumps out of his ship and lands behind a table, ready to eat launche) Launch!
Donkey Kong: Don't be hatin' on the Donkey Punch. Bitch don' know 'bout my back air. Yeah, I'm the original member of the D.K. Crew. (Diddy throws a banana peel and makes him slip.) Hey, didn't Sakurai make trippin' enough?
"Why, daddy Sakurai? Why?!" Ruby said.
Wario: (riding on his bike) WAHAHAHAHA! (Zelda blows it up)
Zelda: Now it's broken! Like Meta Knight! (They both laugh)
Wario: I HAVE TO PAY FOR THOSE YOU KNOW!
(Fox lands his Landmaster.)
Fox: Landmaster!
(Then Wolf.)
Wolf: Landmaster!
(Then Falco.)
Falco: Laaaandmaster!
"Why is it so shitty?" Yang said, laughing a little.
Player: Are you shitting me?
Haruhi Suzumiya: Here's how to make people go WTF at Brawl tournaments.
(And intense match was happening, until a kid entered the scene.)
Kid: Hey guys! Let's have a free-for-all with items on! I brought my Wiimote~! (Everyone was like WTF)
"Can someone kick this kid out?"
(Mr. Game and Watch tapped A. The Ice Climbers grabbed him.)
Lucario: Not so fast, Mr. Lame and Watch. Here's how you do it. (He grabs the male one and knocks the female off stage... aand nothing happens.)
Male Ice Climber: Gah! Now we can't be the Ice Grabbers anymore!
Lucario: Wait a minute. How come if the woman dies, it's not a KO, but if the man dies, both of them are out?
"Oh my god..." Weiss said.
Slippy: It's a conspiracy, I tell you! A conspiracy- (Lucario knocks him out)
Lucario: I'm not asking you.
Mewtwo: Why'd they replace me with you, huh? Answer me this. What do you have that I don't?!
"A movie? No, wait, Mewtwo has two movies. Uhh, it's easier to catch?" Ruby said.
Lucario: Blueeeeeeeeeee baaaaalls.
Mewtwo: And?
Lucario: The aura.
Mewtwo: And?
Lucario: Your mother.
"Damn! He's done now. Mewtwo, get the fuck outta here." Yang said.
Ganondorf: (grunts) Toooon Link!
Toon Link: I'm not scared of you anymore, Ganondork!
Ruby giggled.
"How's that funny?" Weiss said.
"Shut up, I thought it was funny!" Ruby said.
Toon Link: Here's comes a new challnger!
Pedobear: Hi, kids!
"Pedobear?" Pyrrha said.
"It's the symbol of pedophiles. It's as old as trollface." Nova said.
(Toon Link, Ness andd Lucas run away gayly.)
Ness: Big Gay Thunder!
Lucas: Big Gay Fire!
Dedede: BIG GAY DANCE! (Does his dance one more time.)
They all laughed.
"Noooo, I can't believe we got rickrolled again!" Nora said.
Meta Knight: Come back when you start getting banned at tournaments.
[Credits]
"Meta Knight was banned? He's that broken?" Yang said.
"Uh huh." Nova said.
"Wait... Pikachu wasn't in this again!" Ruby said.
"He's in the after credits. See?"
Pikachu: Hey everybody, this is fucking Pikachu!
Pichu: And I'm Pichu!
Pikachu: WHO THE FUCK SAYS YOU CAN TALK?! THIS IS MY TIME! (Pichu cries)
Some of them laughed.
"Aww,why everyone hates Pichu?" Ruby said.
"Because it damages itseelf? What's the point?" Yang said.
Pikachu: That's alright, it's okay. Do you know why its okay? Cause we are gonna check some fanmail!
Pichu: Oh boy!
Ivysaur: (carrying the computer) Ivysaur.
Pikachu: That's right. He's a slave labor. Anyway, deer cree8rz of Brewl tontz, DIS IZ MY FAV FLASH MOV EVAR!1 i WOTCH IT EVRE SNGULE DAY 5000 TIMEZ EN A ROE! I SHOW IT 2 ALL MY FRENDZ... THE 1'S DAT I DUN'T HAV; I WUZ WONERING IF U COOD PUDDIN M $+ER CHEEV FRUM HAYLOW B CUZ HE SHOODUV BEN SUPA SMASH BROZ N I WOOD LAFF A BILLION TIMEZ OFR N OFA... AHF I SAW HIM EN DUH MEX EPSOIED OV BREAL TONTZ!11
"That email hurts my brain SO MUCH!" Weiss said.
"Master Chief really should be in Smash!" Ruby said.
Pikachu: Well I don't know, Pichu. What- wha- wha- what are you saying?
Pichu: I like guns!
(Both of them put on Halo helmets and guns and shoot the screen.)
FIN
"I feel like I watched a piece of history." Jaune said.
"A piece of internet history." Nova said.
"Are we done or we'll watch more?" Yang said.
"One more thing. One of the most infamous part of history."
"Like?" Blake said.
"Have you ever heard of Chris Chan?"
And done! Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon?