This... might be risky. But I have to do this. Let's hope that the Christorians or Chris herself never find this. Also, because the audio quality is kinda shit, don't expect me to understand what they're saying.
I do not own anything except my OCs. WARNING: Randomness, dank memes, cringe and grammar mistakes
Chapter 126: Sonichu The Animated Series (by Spazkidin3D, compilation by Arc)
"Have you ever heard of Chris Chan?" Nova said. Then Nora jumped at him and pinned him to the wall, grabbing him by his shirt.
"NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT! You might have shown us some weird shit, but NONE OF THAT is compared to the life of CHRISTINE! WESTON! CHANDLER!" she said.
"... I see that you've watched the documentaries."
"All 29 parts so far! It was a mix of sadness, pity, shock and pure disgust, making you wonder in the end if this person needs to be thrown IN JAIL OR A CRAZY HOUSE!". She then started crying. Nova then gave her a hug to comfort her.
"Okay, what is happening?! And who is this Christine?!" Yang said.
"Christian Weston Chandler, now known as Christine, is the most documented person in the world." Nova said.
"So she's an important historic personality?" Blake said.
"Kinda. She's just a 40 year old high functioning autistic who uploaded her entire life on the internet, becoming a target for trolls."
"And why is her life so traumatic?" Pyrrha said.
"You don't know the things that I've watched!" Nora said.
"It can't be as bad as you say. You're probably overreacting." Weiss said. Then Nora grabbed her by the collar of her jacket and pinned her to the wall.
"OVERREACTING?! But tell me this. What logical person would draw porn of his characters and himself just to prove that he's straight, and realising years later that she's a lesbian transwoman? What logical person would pick a PlayStation account over a potential girl, which was actually a troll? What logical person would pepper spray a game shop employee just because Sonic's arms are blue?"
"Is she talking about Sonic Boom?" Jaune said.
"What logical person would swallow his semen as a way of recycling?!"
"Say what now?" Yang said.
"What logical person would ask for a huge amount of money to pay her bills because she's unemployed, just to spend it all on toys and not taxes?! What logical person would use her old mother to ask for donations?! What logical person thinks that she's an all powerful goddess that can travel dimensions?! Everything I said right now is only the tip of the iceberg! So tell me... am I overreacting?". She left Weiss speechless. After that small rant, Nora sat down exhausted. "*sigh* That was pretty tiring. Ren, please hold me...". Ren then gave her a hug.
"Is it true?" Jaune said.
"... It is, unfortunately. Anyway, I was about to show you Spazkid's animated version." Nova said.
"Actually, I haven't watched that yet." Nora said.
"Great. Also, I will show you only season 1, because the last two episodes... are too gross, even the censored versions."
"I already don't like this." Blake said.
"In fact, I'm not sure if we should let Ruby watch it."
"I've seen r34 Pokémon. It's too late." Ruby said.
"Anyway, let's go."
[Intro]
SON-III-CHUUUUU AH!
Fuckhead Christian Weston Chandler is the mayor of CWCville
He's got a lot of things to do, GOT A LOT OF CHINA TO STEEAAAL!
Mary Lee Walsh is always waiting to ruin his fun
With the Chaotic Combo at his side, the day is always won
WELL CUM 2 CWCVILLE, WE INVITE YOU TO SWALLOW SOME SPERM!
CHRIS IS STRAIGHT WE GUARENTEE!
There are no girls allowed. . . UNLESS YOU'RE BOYFRIEND FREE!
HE DOESN'T LIKE THE BLACKIES, AND GOD SAYS GAYS SHOULD DIE,
AND IF YOU SEE HIM SITTING AT A TABLE, WELL YOU BETTER READ HIS SIGN!
SON-I-CHU!
Some of them couldn't stop laughing.
"I have so many questions already. And it's just the intro." Yang said.
"What is Sonichu?" Weiss said.
"A combination of Sonic and Pikachu, obviously. Something that she copyrighted, even though it's illegal." Nova said.
"What does he mean by stealing china?" Ruby said.
"Vagina." Nova said.
"Oh."
Episode 1
Welcome to CWCVille, where the love is forbidden and the population of virgins is at 98%. We find our lightning bolt heroes finishing up from having anal sex for four hours.
"4 hours?!" Blake said.
"Poor butthole." Yang said.
"Wow, my dick is super stinkin' rough!" exclaimed Sonichu.
"There's semen in my quills!" churched Rosechu.
"I'm already disgusted." Weiss said.
"Hey, let's go visit my virgin dad. The mayor of CWCVille and stuff."
"What is that animation?!"
"Virgin dad? So... he adopted him?" Jaune said.
"No, he calls him dad because he's the creator of the comic." Nora said.
"In the comic? It doesn't make sense." Ren said.
"I KNOW!"
"Coolio! I hope no jerkop gets in the way and makes me turn into some beast bitch that face rapes people and eats their brains, as seen in issue No. 17."
(Sonichu slaps her.)
"That's episode 17, you dumb cunt."
They all laughed.
"Why did he do that?!" Pyrrha said.
"I don't know, he just treats her badly!" Nova said.
"This is terrible." Blake said.
As our heroes hold hands and walk through the woods, they run into Blackchu- I mean Blake, who is raping a blow-up doll.
"(Blake does monkey noises.)"
"Oh no, why does it have my name?"
"This gives a lot of ideas." Yang said.
"Don't even think about it."
"Hey Blake..." said Sonichu. "... why are you raping that plastic doll?"
"Because... the mayor said so... he's... so... cool!"
"Hey, you stupid pedofork, you better not be talking about my righteous dad like that or I'll kick your butt."
"Give you, forebrain!" shouted Blake in anger.
Some of them laughed a little.
"Forebrain?" Ruby said.
"Why is the animation like that?!" Weiss said.
"No, shut up, it's great." Yang said.
"(Chris) Settle down, guys. You're being knuckleheads.". Just then, Christian Weston Chandler appeared before them like an angel from heaven.
"A hideous angel." Weiss said.
*gasp* It's Liquid Chris!" Nora said.
"Liquid Chris? You mean like, Liquid Snake?" Ruby said.
"Basically. It was one of the many trolls. And it was actually funny."
"Holy flipping burgers, it's dad!" orgasmed Sonichu.
"Orgasmed?" Pyrrha said.
"That's right. Now come to father."
"What's wrong with his nipples?!" Yang said while laughing.
Chris Chan lifts up his Salvation Army shirt, revealing his 26 year old fat, chubby, hairy nipples, Sonichu spraying on them like a tiger. (Censored cuz of YouTube.)
"What the fuck?" Blake said.
"This is wrong on so many levels." Jaune said.
"At least it's censored." Yang said.
But just then...
"(jerkop) (laughs) No love, dorks!"
"(Sonichu) Oh no, it's a jerkop! (breathe in) A black one!"
"Why? Why did it have to be racist too?" Blake said.
"Chris Chan was a racist. And probably still is." Nova said.
Will our heroes stop the villainous jerkop? Will Megan ever escape from the mirror? Will the seven Sonichus ever be found?! Find out in Sonichu, The Animated Series!
"This thing is hilarious!" Yang said.
"It's actually better than the actual thing." Nora said.
Episode 2
We find our lightning bolt heroes ready to fight the cunning jerkop.
"(jerkop) You're all under arrest for being crackers. I hereby order you to buy me lifetime supply of KFC."
"Wow, so much fried chicken." Ruby said.
"Ruby, I think that's also racist." Blake said.
"How?!"
"(Chris) Stand back! I'll use my Sonichu medallion to turn into Chris Chan Sonichu! Ready to go, dude!"
"This won't end up well." Jaune said.
Then the jerkop fucks Chris in his furry ass and pisses on his remains. (Censored)
They all laughed.
"Holy shit, dude!" Yang said while laughing.
"All in a day's work!" says Chris Chan with a sick chuckle.
"That's my dad!" Sonichu says as he beats off on Rosechu's face.
"No, stop! Why are you doing this?!" Weiss said while the others laughed.
"Wait, if you already made a hero for your comic, why make yourself as the hero?"
"Because Chris's ego is huge." Nova said
NEXT DAY! We find our heroes at the mall, shopping more chick shop. Not being sexist or anything.
"Oh my god..."
As usual, Christian Weston Chandler is sitting alone at a mall table with Sonichu by his side.
Some of them are laughing hysterically.
"Why is the straw so big?" Yang said.
"Because Chris draws like a kid in kindergarten." Nora said.
"When did he start his comics?" Ren said.
"At 22? And never improved since then."
"You're kidding." Blake said.
(Chris drinks and chokes a bit.)
"OH FIDDLEKEGS!" Chris Chan screams in anger.
"What's wrong, father?" Sonichu says with a helping hand.
"How come I'm still a virgin with this sign? I mean, it's bulletproof!"
HEY THERE GIRLS, LOOKIN FOR A GIRL WHO'S INTO 27 YEARS VIRGINS WHO STILL PISSES THEMSELVES AND HAS A TINY LOPSIDED PENIS.
"I can't believe this." Blake said.
"Did he actually had a sign?" Pyrrha said.
"Uh huh." Nora said.
"That's pretty sad."
"It looks bulletproof." Ruby said.
"No darkies?" Yang said.
"No, father." Sonichu says. "That looks pretty bulletproof to me.". Just then, Rosechu walks up into the gang... with a boner.
Some of them laughed.
"Hey, knuckleheads." Rosechu chuckles.
"What is that frame?!" Yang said while laughing.
"Wow, watch the language, little miss prissy." Sonichu giggles.
"Oh, Sonichu.". Rosechu gives a friendly nudge to Sonichu.
"I SAID SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! (Starts beating her up) I SAID SHUT IT! LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! HUH?! YOU THINK I LIKE HITTING YOU?! HUH, BITCH?! HUH?!"
They couldn't stop laughing.
"This is terrible!" Pyrrha said while laughing.
As Rosechu laid paralyzed to the ground, face drenched in blood, Christian begins to leave when suddenly, a man in black shadow clothes grabs his medallion and shoves it up his ass.
"Eww! The sounds!" Ruby said.
"Oh gosh, father, your medallion's been stolen!"
"(Chris)What the double heck?!"
Will Chris Chan ever retrieve the medallion from the shadowy figure's asshole?
(The ninja laughs.)
Will Rosechu file a lawsuit for Sonichu's neglect?
"She should've done this a long time ago." Weiss said.
Will Chris Chan ever touch a real vagina?
Some of them laughed a little.
"He actually did." Nova said.
"I don't believe you. What, he payed a prostitute?" Yang said.
"That's what he did."
"Oh. I expected a fun story."
"This was never a fun story. Except for the Miyamoto Saga, that was funny." Nora said.
Find out in Sonichu episode 3!
Episode 3
In the last fucking episode of Sonichu, some random ninja shoved Chris's medallion up his ass.
"My medallion!" Chris Chan screamed like a bitch.
Some of them laughed.
THIS IS EPISODE NO.3! We find our heroes at home, having a fucking orgy. This is censored because of YouTube. FUCK!
"Please don't tell it's Chris and Sonichu..." Blake said.
"That was awesome!" Chris said, faggishly.
"Oh come on!"
"You wanted to see two hedgehogs fuck?" Yang said.
"Anything would be better than this."
"I think I'll throw up..." Jaune said.
"My dick looks all shriveled up! Like a prune left in the sun!" Sonichu said as he punched himself in the penis.
"Oh my god. Wouldn't it be cool if this was a game?" cried Chris in glee.
"Noooo...!" Ruby said.
"Why the heck are we still here? Let's go to Nintendo and make a dream a reality!"
"Is this the Miyamoto Saga?!" Nora said.
"Kinda." Nova said.
"What's the Miyamoto Saga?" Jaune said.
"A couple trolls pretended to be Miyamoto and contacted Chris and told him that they wanted to make a Sonichu game."
"What happened then?" Yang said.
"Chris didn't go to the meeting amd they sent him a letter, telling him that Miyamoto was waiting him all night out in the cold for their meeting.". Some of them laughed.
"You mean it?!" Chris cried.
"I sure do, father." said Sonichu as he began a French kiss.
"Nooo, whyyyyy?!" Ruby said.
"This is the place!" Chris pointed out. "Let's go and get noticed, Sonichu!"
After submitting his idea, Christian Weston Chandler eagerly awaits Nintendo's approval.
"(Executive) After going over your Sonichu idea, we have come to a conclusion.". Chris Chan crossed his fingers in happiness.
'Oh cheese an crackers... all this stretching makes me nut in my tidy whities.'
"YOUR IDEA SUCKS FUCKING POOPOO!" he cries in Chris Chan's face.
Some of them laughed a little.
"Does that mean you'll consider it?" Chris Chan stated.
"NO, RETARD! IT MEANS I LIKE TO TAKE A SHIT ON YOUR FACE!". So the leader took a shit on Chris Chan's face and got salmonella.
They all laughed.
"We're terrible. We're laughing at an autistic person." Ruby said.
"Well, to be fair, Spazkid didn't know that Chris was actually autistic then. Also, she has done bad things that are not caused by his autism." Nova said.
"(Sonichu) I guess we're in a pickle now, huh father?"
"Oh, Sonichu." says Pickly, one of Sonichu's apparition.
(They both laugh.)
"DON'T YOU EVER... FUCKING SAY THAT AGAIN! (Bites him)"
"AHHHHHHHHH, MY PICKLY DICK!"
END!
Some of them laughed.
"The fricking scream!" Yang said while laughing.
Episode 4
Sonichu, The Animated Series, episode 4. Chris Chan saves the planet. *clears throat* Not really. On our last episode... nothing happened. Something with a guy in a pickle suit, I don't know, the story sucked anyway, whatever.
"Man in a pickle suit?" Jaune said.
"A troll dressed as a pickle went to the mall where Chris was with his "girlfriend", which was also a troll and stole her, and Chris didn't do anything to stop him." Nova said.
"Wow." Yang said.
"Wait, his girl was also a troll?" Ruby said.
"Every girl that he had was a troll. Even now, all her friends are trolls." Nora said.
"Why do they want to torture her that much?" Pyrrha said.
"They... don't really care anymore, but when it comes to trolling, 4chan is ruthless." Nova said.
We find our hero, Chris Chan playing Guitar Hero... without a shirt on.
"This song was easy!" exclaims Chris Chan. "Thanks to my loyal Sonichu fans, I won a $400 gift certificate to GameStop. Now I may have a chance of being in the next Guitar Hero! Ahh, everyone's gonna buy it now."
"Well father, I'm so proud of you and your accomplishments." exclaimed Sonichu while fisting a goat.
(Goat shits on his face.)
"Oh come on!" Jaune said.
"That's just nasty!" Blake said.
"I didn't have to see that." Weiss said.
"Why is everything gross?!" Ruby said.
"Let's see how my fans are doing on the internet." says Chris Chan. Chris Chan logs in to YouTube and searches his name. "Wow, 2500 videos just about me and my adventures! Let's see this one!". Chris Chan clicks a video, which is apparently about him and his life, animated.
(Clicks on Episode 2)
"I wonder how he reacted when he saw those animations." Weiss said.
"He didn't even realised that it was mocking him." Nova said.
"(grunts) I'm so... angry, I can... (shits himself)"
"Did he just shit himself?!" Yang said.
"She always had this kind of problem. She doesn't even realise it sometimes. It's mostly because of stress."
"That sucks."
"Ms Allison~? My anus has struggle leak. Come with baby wipes, pronto."
"(Ms Allison) Oh my god..."
"Is that his secretary?" Weiss said.
"Uh huh." Nora said.
"(Chris) Make sure you uh... clean under the uh... hmm... the uh... pickle too. That's where it's uh... gets real grimy."
"Poor woman..." Blake said.
"(Ms. Allison) I hate my job, I hate my job..."
"Why doesn't she quit then?" Pyrrha said.
"It's a miracle she still works for him." Nora said.
"Oh, let's see how my planet's doing on Little Big Planet." Chris Chan says with a twinkle in his eye. Chris Chan looks at the ratings of his level. (Charlie Brown) Good Grief..."
(Recorded laughter)
"(random voice) I DON'T FUCKING GET IT!"
Some of them laughed a little.
"(Rosechu) Well, Jimmy Hill's version has tons of views. He must've put a lot of effort into that."
(Sonichu starts beating her up with a bat, a washing machine, a chainsaw and lemon juice.)
"(Sonichu) SHUT THE FUCK UP, MOTHERFUCKER! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! I FUCKING HATE YOU, MOTHERFUCKER! (I can't understand what he says after that.)"
"Holy shit, so much hate!" Yang said.
"Doees he actually treat her like that?" Pyrrha said.
"Nooo, but..." Nora said.
"Let me guess. She's in the kitchen, like she should be." Weiss said.
"... Kinda."
Just then, Mary Lee Walsh breaks in through the window.
"Daaaamn, look at those thighs." Yang said.
"I'm going to be disappointed if she has a normal voice."
"(Mary) You may have beaten me in Soul Calibur III, but not IRL."
They all laughed.
"I hate this. I love and hate this." Pyrrha said while laughing.
"(Chris) Jumpin jellybeans! Sonichu, attack!"
"(Sonichu) You're going, you stupid pedofork. Kyaa."
(Then it shows a clip of a bear on a river.)
"What? Where's the fight?" Weiss said.
"My one weakness!" screams Mary Lee Walsh! And she... melts?
"Best anime fight." Nora said.
"Well, I'm glad that's over with." said Sonichu.
"Stop fisting the goat!" Weiss said.
"(Mary) (melting noises)"
(Sonichu beats her remains like he did with Rosechu.)
Some of them laughed.
"(Chris) You said it.". And they laughed. BUUUUUUT... before Mary Lee Walsh melted, she pressed the switch, which blew the charger set in Chris's basement, freeing Megan from the mirror, which she had been captured in.
"Chris Chan, you're gonna get it!" threatens Megan with a smirk, holding her best Yu Gi Oh cards.
"That's the shittiest mic quality I've ever heard." Blake said.
Will Megan defeat her captor? Will Jimmy Hill ever assert his righteousness? And who's gonna clean up that mess on the floor? Find out, in Sonichu, The Animated Series, episode 5.
"I'll be amazed if she loses." Weiss said.
Episode 5
Sonichu, episode 5. Shit happens.
"Time to lose, Chris." snickers Megan.
"Floppin flounders! I'm in for it now!" Chris exclaims sweatingly.
(Bionic then throws a basketball at Megan's face and she's knocked out.)
Some of them laughed.
"A basketball? Really?" Weiss said.
"Wait, who's the orange Sonic?" Yang said.
"Go fish, jerkop." Bionic says.
"Okay, that was kinda cool."
"Bionic? You mean that his a cyborg?! A science experiment maybe?!" Ruby said.
"No, he's just... a Sonic recolour... that plays Basketball." Nova said.
"... That's it?" Ren said.
"Hey Bionic. How you doing, bro?" Chris Chan yelled happily.
"Oh you know. Sucking my girl's dick as always, sweetie. (Licks his index.) Salty." Bionic boasted.
Some of them laughed.
"That's sounds so wrong!" Pyrrha said while laughing.
"That's not something to boast for." Weiss said.
"*sigh* You're lucky you have that special one..." Chris Chan sighed.
"A girl with a penis?" Yang said.
"She is one now." Nora said.
"You mean she hasn't removed it yet?" Weiss said.
"Uh huh."
"(Megagi) Hey Bionic. Come over here and help me shave my moustache."
"That's his girl?" Jaune said.
"And she's a skunk too? Gross." Weiss said.
"I'll see you guys later. I have to go tend the beef." Bionic yelled like a fag.
Some of them laughed a little.
(Meanwhile, at Mary Lee Walsh's castle.)
"(Count Graduon) Mary? Mary? Mary?! MARY?!"
"(Mary) What the fuck do you want?"
"Didn't she melt in the last episode?" Ren said.
"Why hasn't the Chaotic Combo been stopped?"
"I don't know, sir."
"And why is Chris Chan still the mayor of CWCVille?!"
"Oh god, shut the fuck up." (She shoves the wand in her vagina.)
"Not there...! Anything but there! NOOOOOOOOOO! (gargled scream)"
They all laughed like crazy.
"What is this?! I hate this so much!" Blake said while laughing.
"(ninja) (noises)"
"Oh good, you're back. Have you got the medallion?"
"(screams)"
Some of them laughed again.
"You shoved it up your ass? Did you record it?"
"Did he have to record it?" Weiss said.
"(screams again)"
"No... No! NO! HOW DARE YOU NOT RECORD THAT FOR MY SEXUAL PLEASURE?! WITNESS THE CRASS OF MY DIRTY VAGINA!"
"What?!"
(She shoots a creature from her vagina at the ninja.)
"What the fuck?!" Yang said while laughing.
"(Ninja) AHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD, IT FUCKING BURNS! SOMEONE HELP MEEE! FUCK! MY ASS! MY ASS IS LITERALLY ON FIRE!"
"What is going on?!" Pyrrha said.
"(Mary) (masturbates) OH! OH, DAMNIT! THIS PYSSY IS BOTHERING ME! BLACKIE, GET ME THE BUG SPRAY!"
"(Blackie) Awwww, yeah!"
Some of them laughed.
Meanwhile, our other heroes are meeting up with some old friends.
"(Chris) How are my gal-pals doin?"
"(Angelica) Last night God came to me in a dream. And he said I'm gonna fuck you. I'm gonna fuck you right in your vaginal region. And I'm gonna do it because I'm God. And I can do that shit cause I need you, bitch. Tea time!"
"Well, if god said it then spread those chicks." Nora said.
"(Wild) Sorry to break up the party, but-" (gets run over by a train)
"(Train) Ow, my axels."
(Rosechu's head explodes.)
END!
"Huh?" Ruby said.
"I guess he didn't know how to end it." Jaune said.
Episode 6
"(Chris) Never mess with a virgin with rage."
"Wait, what?" Jaune said.
"He's probably dreaming." Ren said.
"Virgin with rage?" Yang said.
"(Megan) Oh Chris Chan, you're so strong~."
"Wait, wasn't she a bad guy?" Ruby said.
"*gasp* Is that Axe you're wearing?! (sniffs armpit)"
They all laughed.
"Check out that twelve-pack. I'm ready to be your boyfriend free girlfriend and give oral sensations to your penis."
(Chris wakes up.)
"Oh, butter biscuits!" Chris yelled in rage.
Some of them giggled.
"Yeah, that's what you scream in that situation." Blake said.
"What's wrong, Chris?" Pony said.
Some of them laughed.
"He's a brony too?" Weiss said.
"Oh, nothing. It's just... I really want to get some China." (China=Vagina)
"Well, Chris, girls dig guys in bands."
"That's it!"
(Transition)
"I don't like this." Blake said.
"Hey, you guys! We're gonna start a band!"
"(Sonichu) I'll provide procussions. (Rosechu doesn't say anything but Sonichu punches her anyway.) Why do you have to be so GODDAMN PINK?!"
Some of them laughed a little.
"I take offense to that!" Nora said.
"You're a ginger." Nova said.
"But my aura screams pink! Really."
"(Wild) I can play the sit n' spin." (He does that.)
Some of them laughed.
"I love that voice." Ruby said while giggling.
"(Random black dude) I can play the washboard."
"Hey guys, those aren't ins- (Sonichu hits her with a chair.)" Rosechu stated.
Some of them laughed a little.
"The abuse doesn't stop!" Yang said.
NEXT DAY AT BAND PRACTICE
(Chris sings So need a cute girl)
"(Chris) I am a virgin with rage
I so need a cute girl my age
I never wanna hear you say
(Nova and Nora join) I have a boyfriend!
Never say it now."
"Wow, he sucks a lot."
"A good song ruined by that idiot." Weiss said.
"I actually expected worse." Blake said.
"Was that the actual Chris Chan singing?" Ruby said.
"Uh huh." Nova said.
"Why was the original song playing in the background?" Ren said.
"Because that's his music. He plays the song in the background, not even an instrumental, and sings over it, while playing the Guitar Hero guitar. And acts like it's his music."
"Wow." Yang said.
"Yeah."
"Uh, you called her a he." Jaune said.
"I'm more used to it."
"(Wild) We sounded (unintelligible)."
"What? What did he say?" Weiss said.
"(Chris) Yeah... but I wish we were a little more-". Just then, Chris Chan saw a poster in a steaming pile of dog shit.
"In his garage?" Jaune said.
"(Chris) Oh my salty semen! This is a sign you guys! A sign from the big man upstairs!"
"Yeah, he wanted you to find that in a pile of shit." Blake said.
"(God) You found a poster in a pile of dog shit. What did I do?"
Some of them laughed a little.
"(Club host) Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Please give it up for your fatass mayor and his overactive imagination, CWC!"
"This will end bad." Yang said.
"(Chris) Hey everybody in CWCVille!"
"(Audience) You're a faggot!"
Some of them laughed.
"Why did they elect him mayor again?" Weiss said.
"It's his imagination." Nora said.
"(Chris) How are y'all doing tonight?"
"(Audience) I'm sucking my own dick."
They all laughed.
"Why was that funny?!" Blake said.
"(Chris) NO! NO! STAY STRAIGHT!"
"She really hated gays, huh?" Jaune said.
"Alright, all you knuckleheads! We're Christian and the Hedgehog Boys! And we're gonna play for y'all tonight! A one, a two, a one, two, seven, eight!
I'm autistic!
I sure am!"
Some of them laughed.
"What kind of song is that?!" Yang said while laughing.
(People were booing already. They started throwing stuff. Wild was hit.)
"Holy shooting stars! They love us, you guys! Hey everybody, thanks for donating to the CWCVille- (a brick hits his head.)
SEMIN!
"Couldn't have said it better." Nora said.
Episode 7
Sonichu: Rosechu, shall we engage in sexual activities?
"Please, no more furry porn!" Ruby said.
Rosechu: SUCK MY DICK!
Some of them laughed.
Chris: Let's pause here. Hello, you Eager McBeavers. Before we begin the intimacy between these two lovebirds...
"Oh my god..." Pyrrha said.
"Look at her boobs...!" Yang said.
"Why are they holding pickles?!" Ruby said.
Rosechu: DURR! DURR!
Chris: It's time to teach you about (real Chris talking) boobies... vaginas... (moans) gorgeous.
"The way he sighs and moans creeps me out." Weiss said.
"Is he actually teaching about genitalia? I bet he doesn't know where the vagina is located." Yang said.
"She still doesn't know." Nora said.
"No way."
"She also watched hypnotic videos, believing that she would grow a vagina." Nova said.
"I can't believe what I'm hearing." Weiss said.
"She then took a knife and sliced open her taint by herself to let her supposed vagina out."
"What?! She really did that?! She could've died!" Pyrrha said.
"Luckily she got to the hospital before the wound got infected."
"Wait, she sliced the taint? But vaginas aren't at the taint." Blake said.
"Exactly. She even got a piercing." Nora said.
"Oh my god..."
"A fucking idiot..." Weiss said.
"That poor fella that had to pierce her taint." Jaune said.
(Examining SONICHU)
Chris: Captain's log, stardate: January 6, 2009. Sonichu penises are inside their stomachs. In order for a Sonichu to accumulate a boner, he must tilt forward and allow his genitalia to slip out, like a piss dispencer, young lady.
Some of them laughed a little.
"Wait, Sonichu is the name of the species or his name?" Ren said.
"Yes." Nora said.
Chris: And Sonichu, like me, has a subscription to Playboy. So he's straight, and slanderous trolls will say otherwise. Right Sonichu?
Sonichu: (retarded sound)
Some of them laughed.
(Examining ROSECHU)
Chris: Examining Rosechu. Rosechus have big airbags on their chest. I know. I have lots of sexdolls. Also, Rosechu's china is... looks like... kinda... is, um...
"He doesn't even know what a vagina is?!" Yang said.
Chris: It looks like this. (Draws a vagina) Here, let me draw a picture. Here you can see the labial.
Most of them facepalmed.
"Wait, that big thing is her belly or one boob?" Ruby said.
"Ruby... that's the vagina." Yang said.
"Ohhhhh... He's a bad artist."
(And Chris left in search of china and Sonichu and Rosechu had sick poke hedgehog sex. The next day. Imo bro, wmm effects)
Sonichu: Another night, full of threesome safe sex! You know, for the kids!"
"If it was for the kids, then they shouldn't even have sex!" Pyrrha said.
"Did you know that he actually draw a sex scene in the comic?" Nova said.
"What?!"
"What is going on in her sick mind?!" Weiss said.
Sonichu: Oh, Enrico, thanks for the coffee Mexican sex.
Enrico: Que?
Rosechu: Sonichu, look at this website! It seriously drags your, my and Chris's name through muck.
"Oh no, it's that comic!" Nora said.
"Huh?" Ruby said.
"They see awful fanart of themselves, you know, Sonichu with a vagina, Rosechu with a penis, made by trolls."
Sonichu: Are you sure- bleaugh! I think I'm gonna be sick.
Rosechu: HOW DARE THEY MOCK MY OVARIES WITH CHINA AND UTERUS?! I'M GONNA TAKE NUDES RIGHT NOW, JUST TO PROVE MY POINT! WITH ALL THESE NEW PICS, THEY'RE TOTALLY NOT GONNA SHOP A DICK ON IT!
"Wait, what? Take nudes?" Yang said.
"To prove that she's a woman and to fight for women's rights." Nova said.
"That will just make things worse." Ren said.
"What does genitalia have to do with women's rights?" Blake said.
Sonichu: Oh god, my stomach, I can't. (He quickly goes to the computer and masturbates.) Oh yes... Grope that pickle.
Some of them facepalm.
(Transitions to the 4Cent building.)
"That building is huuuuge." Nora said.
Sonichu Well, this must be the place. (Pause) Do you remember your mission, Wild?
Wild: (with Snake's voice) You bet your hot anthro ass I do.
Some of them laughed.
"Why is he Snake?!" Ruby said.
Wild: Imma need some cigarettes for this shit. (Smokes a fuckton of cigarettes.) If I don't make it back alive, I want you to know something, Sonichu.
Sonichu: Yes, boss?
Wild: You're a faggot.
"A big one." Yang said.
(Wild then takes a box and... has sex with it. Even Sonichu finds it weird.)
They all find this gross and weird.
"Even Sonichu finds it weird." Blake said.
(Transitions inside the building.)
Sonichu: Jeez, this place's like hell.
Rosechu: I don't know. I like how the door matches the walls. (Sonichu punches her in the face.)
"Her constant abuse stopped being funny." Nora said.
Beel: Mmm, I know what you mean. I'd eat the corn out of Brad Pitt's poop every day. (Sees Sonichu) Umm... hold on. What do you want?
Sonichu: Hey there, me and my gf have a meeting with Jason of the building.
Beel: Oh yeah. He said something about two rodents wanting to meet him. Anyway... you're gonna have to do something for me. (Unzips shorts)
"Oh no, his one weakness! Dick!" Yang said.
Rosechu: No! Not that!
Sonichu: It's okay, Rosechu. Uh... just remember what Joseph says. Forgiveness.
"That doesn't deserve forgiveness." Weiss said.
(Later, in the elevator. Rosechu is upset and Sonichu has some cum on his lips.)
Sonichu: What's wrong?
"I can't- I- I can't believe this exists."
Rosechu: Oh nothing, faaaag! By the way, there's a little semen on your face! (Sonichu licks it, not all of it though.)
Some of them wanted to throw up.
(They finally arrive at Jason Kendrick Howell's office.)
Jason: Visitors, welcome to my hell. I'm a 20 year old troll who offers only slanderous mockery. And this is my 17 year old sex slave, who I unprotected sex with.
Kathleen: Hi.
Jason: Shut up!
"For a troll, he seems successful." Weiss said.
Jason: And this is a picture of me littering in public!
"*gasp* Not littering!" Ruby said.
Jason: And this is me, taking a shit while I carve my name into the bathroom wall!
"*gasp*"
Jason: And this... this is... THIS IS ME, JAYWALKING IN A BUSY INTERSECTION!
"*GASP* How can someone be... so evil?!"
"Stop acting like a child already."
"So no one is going to say anything about him being naked?" Ren said.
Sonichu: Oh god no, he's so... he's so horrible! Joseph would never forgive you for this!
Jason: Silence! Chris Chan's ED page will never be removed. This meeting is over!
(Then Ray Charles performs Hit the Road Jack, until someone throws a rock at him.)
"Uh... I don't get it." Ruby said.
Jason: Stupid black person.
That actually surprised them and then they laughed.
Jason: Go, Rosechu. Go and play with your pickle. (He throws a pickle on her head.)
"Oh my god, that's actually from the comic." Nora said.
"Why is it so dramatic?" Yang said.
(Rosechu, enraged, grabs the pickle and crushes it. Jason gets nervous.)
Rosechu: (I don't understand what she says) I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
Some of them laughed.
"What the fuck?! She became Broly!" Yang said while laughing.
(Rosechu jumps at Jason. Sonichu watches in fear the massacre.)
Sonichu: Holy shit...
"What was that?!" Pyrrha said.
"That... was the power of woman." Nova said.
"The power of a woman?"
"Did she have to get naked?" Weiss said.
(Rosechu finally comes to her senses)
Rosechu: Oh, what happened...?
Sonichu: Rosechu, how about you go shopping and later take me to dinner?
Sonichu: I'd like that.
Jason: (thinking) That should've killed me... but dark forces keep me alive. What the SHIT-
END!
They got scared by that.
"What actually happened in the comic?" Ruby said.
"She jumped on him, opened his head with her thighs, or her vagina maybe, and somehow survived." Nora said.
"Holy shit..." Yang said.
"Then all Rosechus met and started taking nudes to fight for women's rights."
"Again, what does that have to do with women's rights?" Blake said.
Episode 8
As our heroes approach the door, inside, the recolors- I mean, original Sonichu characters await to surprise Rosechu for her big 1-9.
"(Bionic) (screams) I'M SO EXCITED I JUST WANT TO RAPE SOMETHING!"
"It just started!" Weiss said.
"(Magi-chan) Bionic, you're acting intellectually impaired. Please disease from this matter." Bionic grabs Magi-chan and begins (I couldn't hear well.) "This is... midly... painful...!"
"SHUT UP! I'M GONNA PISS IN YOUR ASS!"
Some of them laughed.
"And I actually liked that character, even if it was for a couple of seconds."
"(Bubbles) HEY BITCH! WHAT DID YOU GET ROSECHU?!"
"(Angelica) I GOT ROSECHU A NEW SHAVER!"
They all laughed.
"They picked the girliest voices for them." Yang said.
"(Wild) Oh snip snap puberty crap! They're coming! Hide!"
"(Bionic) SHUT UP, BITCH!"
Some of them laughed.
"(Sonichu) So Rosechu, what are you planning on doing tonight with me for your big 1-9?"
"More sex probably." Blake said.
"(Rosechu) (29 seconds of actual horror)"
Ruby already got in Yang's hug.
"That's actually scary..." Pyrrha said.
"This is actually scarier than Sonic. Exe" Jaune said.
"(Sonichu) (Giggity giggity)"
Some of them laughed a little.
"(Everyone) SURPRISE!"
"Oh, you guys. (Laughs)"
"(Blake) (laughs)"
"(Laughs)"
"(Laughs)"
"(Laughs)"
"(Laughs)"
"(Laughs)"
"(Laughs)"
"(Laughs)"
"SHUT UP!"
Some of them laughed.
"Just the screaming makes it funny." Yang said.
Meanwhile, Sonichu and the gang continued to party. Bubbles already snuck out back and was on her way to Blake's treehouse. Tch, treehouse... who's fucking up there?
"(Bubbles) Hello, Blake~."
"What the fuck you want, bitch?"
"I got you this cupcake since it is your birthday after all."
"Aww..." Ruby said.
"Sit on my face!"
"Oh, Blake~."
"I'm a sandwich."
Next morning.
"(Jamsta) Hey all you girls and gals, it's Jamsta Sonichu here to tell you about Jiggliami's first concert where she'll be playing live out here on CWCVille beach! *sigh* Hey, my balls aren't gonna suck themselves, bitch."
"It's the beach chapter!" Nora said.
Suddenly Blake appeared before the girls.
"(Blake) Instead of bitchslapping you silly, I'm gonna kick sand in your face. Hahaha, I'm so badass."
"Ah, yeah, because he's has dark colours, therefore he has to be mean." Blake said.
"(Rosechu) Ugh, what the fuck, asshole?"
"Wait, now she's voiced by a girl? That's not my Rosechu." Nora said.
"This one might actually have a vagina." Yang said.
"(Bubbles) I'll show you the power of a real woman!" (Breaks Blake's arm.)
"Whoa, there!". They all laughed.
"That was too much!" Pyrrha said.
"(Blake) AHHHHH, FUUUUUUUUUUCK! MY HAND! OH GODAMNIT, IT STINGS!"
"(Spazkid?) Considering I had to combine part 2 with part 1, I had no idea how the fuck I would do that. So, I decided I'd show you a silly picture instead. (Shows picture) Ah ah ah! Wasn't that silly? No? Well FUCK YOU!"
"I found it silly." Ruby said.
"(Simonla) So Blake is gonna fuck Bubbles? Now's my chance to spread my STDs."
"What? Who's that now?!" Weiss said.
"STDs?"
(She transforms into Bubbles.)
"So he's was gonna have sex with the one that broke his arm?" Yang said.
Just then, Blake was leaving the store with a bag of condoms in his hand.
"Oh no, not that part!" Nora said.
"What? Why not?" Jaune said.
"She would poison him while having sex by injecting it in his penis."
"...How?!" Weiss said.
"Poisonous vagina. Or poison needles in her vagina, I don't remember."
"Please stop."
"(Simonla) Hey, Blakey-poo, shall we fuck?"
"(Blake) Why do you sound like you have barbed cock jammed in your throat?"
Some of them laughed.
"(Simonla) Uh... I was sucking off a dragon for bus fare."
(They both hear the bus horn. They kept staring at each other... turning into silly cats.)
Ruby started giggling.
After five panels of... GROTESQUE BUM SEX-
"Which was drawn awfully." Nora said.
- with Bubbles, Blake finally came in her ass. Only to discover something.
"(Blake) That was fucking awesome, Bubbles."
"I'm not Bubbles, I'm Sean Connery."
(Dun dun duuuuuuun!)
Some of them laughed like crazy.
"What is going on?!" Yang said while laughing.
"Have you seen me in From Russia with Love? I admit that I had a boner for a red Kraut. (Blake just screams. Sean Connery kicks him away and explodes.) Consider yourself fired."
We see two other hedgehogs, oogling over Angelica.
(We see an actual beautiful scene, with Blake falling and screaming and Angelica flying.)
"(Punchy) Herro, Wird Sonichu. Doesn't Angerica rook so amazing?"
Some of them laughed.
"Why is he like that?!" Yang said while laughing. "I don't know if I should be offended or something!"
"(Wild) Yeah, I guess."
"I just want to tie her up and poop arr over her face! FUCKING ANGERICA ROSECHU WIRR BE MINE!" Punchy said in a very Asian-American way.
What's with the harpoon gun?" Jaune said.
(He shoots Angelica. She falls down with a hole on her head, bleeding.)
"Oh boy, necrophilia. Even better." Blake said.
"Okay, see you rater, Wird Sonichu. I'm gonna have poop sex with her unconscious body."
"(Bubbles) Shall we have sex, Blake?"
"(Magi-chan) (through telepathy) Bubbles, that Blake is a fake."
"Nonsense."
"(Jiggliami) No, it's the truth!" (Bubbles punches her.)
"(Rage)"
"AH!" Nora said and hid behind the couch while the others laughed. "Epilepsy clown!"
"(Abraham Lincoln) Bubbles, that's not the real Blake.
"How do you know?"
"Because I'm Abraham Lincoln."
"Can't argue with those statistics."
"(Sean Connery) You fools! Do you honestly think you can stop me? The world loves me!"
"I know how to counter your attacks!"
"(Patrick Stewart) It's over, Shawn! You can't keep deceiving people like this."
"What is happening?!" Weiss said.
"(Sean) E gadd! It's Patrick Stewart! For years, people have been getting our voices confused. Well no more. It's time to end this!
"This is actually interesting." Yamg said.
"(Patrick) Transform!" (He transforms)
Some of them were laughing hysterically.
With a flash of light, Patrick Stewart is transformed into the USS Enterprise! (Shoots Sean Connery.)
"(Sean) NO! THIS ISN'T THE END, PATRICK!". Sean Connery is launched into Scotland, where he can no longer harm anyone.
"What an amazing fight! Better than the comic!" Nora said.
"(Bubbles) We did, Patrick Stewart!"
"(Patrick) No, I did. (They all laugh.) Patrick Stewart-"
END!
They got scared again, cutting their laughter.
"Stop doing that!" Ruby said.
Episode 9
Chris Chan is masturbating to Transformers animated.
"Of course. The only thing that was missing are robots." Blake said.
"Oh yeah... show me that- show me that exterior... mmm, yeah... *sigh* Nothing like watching Transformers animated and drinking a fresh cup of Long Island iced tea. Oh, hold on." (Takes of his pants.)
"What is he doing?" Jaune said.
"No, NO, NO, NOT THAT!" Nora said.
(He masturbates into the tea.)
"Another batch of babies safe from the Dark Crystals."
Everyone was disgusted.
"Why would he do that...?!" Pyrrha said.
"No, he's recycling!"
"Please don't drink it, please don't drink it, please don't drink it!" Yang said.
(He drinks it loudly.)
Weiss quickly got up and ran to the bathroom to throw up.
"I can't believe he drank it."
"How did she thought that drinking your semen would recycle them?" Blake said. After that, Weiss returned. She sat down anď buried her face in her hands.
"(crying) What am I watching?!" Weiss said.
(What's actually happening.)
"(Semen) FUUUUCK! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIEEEEE! (starts melting) HOLY SHIT, CALL THE COAST GUARD! (He keeps screaming until it's fully dissolved.)"
Sonichu and Rosechu walk in from their night of activity.
"(Sonichu) We sure had a lot of fun tonight."
"(Rosechu) Chris Chan, are you okay?!"
"(Chris) I'll never be okay... not... since the incident..."
"Oh, it's after the Ivy saga!" Nora said.
"Another troll girlfriend?" Yang said.
"And who isn't a troll?" Nova said.
"(Sonichu) Father, you really should do something to get out there again, father. A handsome man like you should be swimming in china." (Chris imagines it.)
Some of them laughed a little.
"You're right, Sonichu!" Chris Chan shouted over the heavens. "*sigh* I can't be a virgin with rage anymore. I gotta do something."
"What with the "virgin with rage" thing?" Blake said.
(Later, he went to get a job.)
"(Boss) Why should we hire you?"
"Y'all should know me by now, but if you don't... I am Christian Weston Chandler, the original creator of Sonichu, the electric hedgehog Pokémon, back on March 17th, 2000."
Some of them laughed.
"I can't believe they used actual footage." Yang said.
"8 days earlier-"
"Get the fuck out of my office."
"(Supermarket employee) So here, we drag it across the scanner and-"
"So, uhh... hmm... what's your name?"
"Don't tell me he's hitting on her already." Blake said.
"(Supermarket employee) Sarah."
"Oh... oh yeah... mmm, ugh... ugh, that's a pretty name, Sarah~."
"She just said her name and he's already horny!" Weiss said.
"That's not funny, that's just creepy." Pyrrha said.
"Do you roleplay?"
"What?"
"I can pretend you're a... a lonely tiger who wanted her vagina licked out."
"What the fuck, bro...?!" Yang said, burying her face in her hands and laughing in guilt.
"(Sarah) The position is filled."
(Chris imagines licking her vagina.)
"Mmm, delicious."
Everyone is shocked, but mostly disgusted.
"How is he still not in prison?!" Weiss said.
"(Sarah) Can you please fucking leave?!"
"I would've kicked him out myself, after breaking his face." Yang said.
"(Club owner) So, uh... why do you want to have this job, butter nugget?"
"Did he seriously go to a gay bar for a job?"
"I'm already imagining him stripping, and I want to throw up." Blake said.
"Did you know that she tried to become a prostitute?" Nova said.
"StooOOOOP!"
"(Chris) I'm hoping *gasp*... I'll get my sweetheart here."
"I think you'll get more than that. So uh... you familiar with call n' rollin'?"
"I- I do not let the trolls-...!"
"Don't worry, there's no trolls here, just beautiful people."
(Chris then sees... TWO BLACK MEN KISSING!)
"I have a question! Why are there negrosexuals kissing in the corner?!"
They all laughed.
"Negrosexuals? Is that even a thing?" Ruby said.
"This is so bad..."
"(Bar owner) Oh, don't mind that. So you want the job?"
"I sure do!"
"Please don't show him stripping." Yang said.
(Sonichu and Rosechu are dancing at the bar.)
"(Sonichu) Father told us to meet him here. I'm so prou-... (He realises that this is a gay bar.) Father, this is... umm... a gay bar, father."
"Holy ravioli, you're right, Sonichu. There are homos everywhere andI am straight."
"My boy." Nora said.
(Transition)
"Captain's log, stardate: August 15, 2009. I'd like to dispel some rumors that I'm in fact a homo. I recently, uh... got a job... in a homo bar. But, uh, I did not suck any ducks, or show my jingleings- I tell you what. I am straight. Straights, believe me. Get through your damn, dirty... skulls... I am straight. I like china, I like the boobies, and do not like the ducks. To my true and loyal fans and not that imposter in the brown-striped shirt, peace and have a good day."
"This felt like an actual Chris Chan video." Nora said.
"Dropping that kind of information just makes it worse." Jaune said.
"Fun fact. He's voiced by the brown-striped imposter." Nova said.
"Really? That's kinda cool." Ruby said.
"Okay, now the final episode of today."
Episode 10
(It starts at the CWC mayor office.)
Chris Chan: JULAAAY! JULAAAY! Yeah, Julay!
"Julay! That will never be forgotten."
Allison Amber: Chris Chan, I'm up to my tits in paperwork. What are you doing? (Opens the door.) Jesus Christ!
(Censored)
Chris: You're ruining my honeymoon, ms Allison! But uh... if you gonna stay... can you please lather this anus with this sour cream?
"What is he doing?!" Blake said.
"Ohhhhhh, his having sex with one of his sexdolls, like in that sextape. Julay!" Nora said.
"... Sextape?" Yang said.
Allison: No! (She hears the window breaking. She looks outside and sees the angry citizens of CWCVille.)
Citizens: This mayor sucks ass! Rubble rubble rubble!
"Now everyone's angry?" Weiss said.
"Be happy that it finally happened." Blake said.
Allison: Sir, looks like they want an impeachment.
Chris: Silly Allison. The citizens of CWCVille love me. (A molotov is thrown inside the office and it catches on fire.)
"The love is immense."
Allison: Sir, you better talk to them or this could get out of hand.
Chris: Good thinking, Allison. The citizens just love my random-access humor.
"Random-access humor?" Jaune said.
Chris: Hey everybody! It's time for another classic from you mayor, Christian Chandler! I've got a fish, would you like to make a- (someone throws a brick at his head)
Some of them laughed.
"Thank you, whoever threw that." Weiss said.
(Then Billy Mays breaks into the office.)
Billy Mays: Hi, Billy Mays here to kick your fatass out of office!
"*gasp*YES, IT'S BILLY MAYS!" Nora said.
"I'm so confused." Ruby said.
"A troll pretended he was Billy Mays and told that he was the new mayor."
"That was probably hilarious." Yang said.
"... Who's Billy Mays?" Weiss said. Nora got up and slapped her.
"Shame on you.". Weiss was like 'what the fuck?'.
Chris: Just what the heavy metal rock band is going on here?
Billy Mays: I'm here to take your job as CWC mayor.
Chris: I'm the true and original mayor of CWCVille and I say, tough cookies.
Billy Mays: You can't even get pussy, let alone run a village.
Some of them laughed.
Chris: I- I will- I- I will let you know, I've had a lot of stress and it's been haaard finishing my love quest.
Billy Mays: I have sex with my wife every day and my two Asian wives who live in my closet.
Allison: Boys, boys!
"Damn, Billy Mays is a big chad. Wait, who's in the closet?" Yang said.
Allison: Jesus. This can be settled.-
Chris: Ms Allison, I am the mayor and I say no impeach-
Allison: That's not your decision.
(Meanwhile, Mary Lee Walsh was watching everything in her sphere.)
Mary: What's this? An impeachment of Chris Chan? This could be interesting. I can totally be mayor. No time to waste. (Teleports to the office.) Uh, sign me up, hehehe.
"This will be a tough battle." Ruby said.
"I vote for Billy Mays!" Nora said.
"Probably all of us would vote for Billy Mays." Yang said.
"Actually, I would vote for Mary. I'm curious." Nova said.
Allison: Citizens of CWCVille, the new mayor is to be decided! The candidates are Billy Mays, Chris Chan or Mary Lee Walsh.
"They chose fanart?" Yang said and started laughing.
Billy Mays: BILLY MAYS! Billy Mays! (Thumbs up) Billy. Mays.
Some of them laughed.
(NEXT DAY...)
Chris: These Crayola crayons and markers, there's no doubting we'll win for sure.
"At least he has a strong message." Ren said.
Rosechu: Look Sonichu. (Shows her drawing) It's us!
Sonichu: (Kenshiro face) (Japanese stuff) GANZAN RYOZAN HA! (He hits Rosechu and she slowly dies.)
They all laughed.
"Holy shit!" Yang said while laughing.
"Okay, when it happens like this, it's funny. Also, liked the reference." Blake said.
Chris: Good evening, sir! Who are you voting for?
Citizen: Oh, heh. I'm voting for Mary Lee Walsh. She's gonna suck my dick.
They laughed again.
"Votes in exchange for sex? Genius!" Nora said.
Chris Chan: Wild Sonichu!
Wild: Yeah?
Chris: Go check out what the wicked witch is up to.
(At Mary Lee Walsh's castle.)
"Yeah, Mary will win." Blake said.
Citizen 1: Hey man! You're waiting to get sucked off too?
Citizen 2: YEAH, MAN, I'M READY TO GET MY DICK SUUUCKED!
Citizen 1: Dude, Mary's so fucking hot!
Citizen 2: YEAH, MAN, FUCK HER!
Citizen 1: Yeah!
Citizen 2: YES!
Citizen 1: Yo, you wanna make out?
Citizen 3: KAY, MAN! (They start kissing.)
(Inside the castle)
Mary: Alright, uh, move it along. (fart)
"Ugh, boner killer." Yang said.
Citizen: Hey, I'm... looking forward to our midst-
Mary: Shut up, faggot! What do you want? (Points at the sign)
"Only that? No variety at all." Nora said.
Citizen: Huh... Well, I uh... I want uh... fucking...
Mary: Next.
Citizen: But I didn't-
Mary: Yes, you did. (It shows his wet pants.)
They all laughed.
"If that's not piss, then it was a big shot." Yang said.
Citizen: Oh...
Wild: Mary's up to no good! She's selling sex!
Chris: Wait! Free china... without smokes and mirrors?! MY LOVE QUEST IS FINALLY OVER!
"Is that one of his drawings?" Ren said.
"Uh huh." Nora said.
"It's... are you sure he didn't draw this when he was in kindergarten?" Pyrrha said.
"Absolutely."
Sonichu: No, father! That vagina is stained with evil! Not to mention it's not a penis, so it pretty much sucks.
Chris: You're right, Sonichu... even if it's free china.
(Meanwhile, with Billy Mays.)
Billy Mays: Hey, Billy Mays here, running to be the new mayor of CWCVille. (eye shine)
Sick citizen: Will you cure my cancer?
Billy Mays: Hell no. I'm not God. But I will give you this free OxiClean ball. Now go clean, kiddo. (Throws it at his face.)
"At least he's honest. He would get my vote." Blake said.
Citizen: Hooray for Billy Mays!
Billy Mays: That's right. Away from me. Who's giving me some head?
(NEXT DAY...)
Allison: Good evening, everybody. It's time for the moment you've all been waiting for. We've had an extraordinary amount of votes,including a large amount of STDs. (Citizen scrating himself.)
Some of them laughed a little.
Allison: The votes are in. Your new mayor is...
(The new mayor is... Soulja Boy!)
"Soulja Boy?!" everyone said.
"Huh... And I thought that Kanye would be the surprise." Yang said.
Billy Mays: Billy Mays here, going to that big washing machine in the sky.
(Ascents to heaven.)
Choir: WAAAAAAAAH, THE BIG WASHING MACHINE IN THE SKYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
Some of them laughed.
"Rest in peace..." Nora said, saluting.
Citizen: A true American cleaner.
Soulja Boy: Yo yo, wassup? Soulja Boy, I'm black, yo. Yo, youuuuuuuu. It's crankin'. Yuh, it's fun-
Kanye West: I'm really happy for you, Imma let you finish...
"There's Kanye!" Yang said.
Kanye: But Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time! ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL TIME!
Mary: Shut your fucking mouth! How dare you not pick me?! You will pay for your double crossing! (screams)
Lord Graduon: Mary, settle down. I'll buy you some McDonald's!
Mary: Are you calling me obese?!
Some of them laughed.
(She grabs the wand.)
Graduon: NO, PLEASE MARY! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (She breaks the want and he keeps screaming. A white light is swallowing everything. Then a vortex with moments from the previous episodes.)
"What is happening? Wasn't supposed the voice in the wand to be released? No final fight?" Ruby said.
(And then... nothing. It ends here.)
"That was a weird ending." Jaune said.
"Well, I won't show you the last two. And I think it's time for me to leave. Goodnight, kids." Nova said and then left.
And done! The next chapter are going to be the final reactions and then it's the finale. Again, I hope they won't learn about this chapter. And if Chris finds this, well... fuck her, I don't care. Like, follow, leave a review AND NOT A REQUEST, send me a PM if you want and READ THE NOVA FORCE. See you soon!