"You can come back now," she called to her friend.

Amelia came back around the curtains with a huge grin on her face.

"That was so awesome, Freddie! Seriously!"

"Thanks," Freddie said with a slightly weary smile. "It is awesome, but kind of exhausting. I dunno if it's just cuz I've done it hundreds of times today or what but I feel like I could sleep for a week." Freddie yawned and tried to stretch, but winced when her shoulder stopped her. "Just don't tell anyone yet, okay? I'm not sure who all I want to know. Of course all anyone would have to do is check the Animagus Registry, it's public record-"

"But they're not all that smart," Amelia finished with a smile. "Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I won't tell a soul. Not even Phillip. I'll even make the Unbreakable Vow if you want me to."

"That's a bit dramatic," Freddie chuckled. "And unnecessary but I- wait, did you say Phillip? As in, Phillip Dalton?"

"Uh-huh," Amelia said with a happy grin, her cheeks glowing pink.

"Well I guess we know what you've been up to all day. I did wonder where you were earlier."

"Yeah, we spent the afternoon together in Hogsmeade. It was kind of great. Really great, actually. He's so much older and more experienced," she said dreamily. "But, I'll tell you all about that tomorrow. I know you're tired."

"Thanks," Freddie said, truly grateful. "I do want to hear about it, but I feel like I've been trampled by a hippogriff. First thing tomorrow though I want all the details. Actually, don't let me sleep any later than 9 – don't let me miss breakfast, okay?"

"I won't," Amelia promised. "Even if I have to dump a goblet of ice water on you."

"Please don't," Freddie chuckled.

"We'll see," she said with a mischevous grin. "Night Freddie. Sleep tight."

"Thanks, Amelia, you too- hey wait, Amelia?"

"Yeah?"

"There's a little bottle in my purse in my trunk. Can you get it for me?"

"Of course!" Amelia said, skipping over to the trunk at the end of the bed. She opened it and found Freddie's purse. "What the- is this a record player?"

"Oh. Yeah, long story. Sorry," Freddie said with a chuckle.

"Jeez, this thing is huge. And there's so much room in here. I guess you did some sort of charm? Wait, is this it? A little blue vial?"

"Yeah, that's it. It's something to help me sleep, it'll help with my soreness," she explained as Amelia brought the vial to her. She uncorked it and took a very small sip, not wanting to waste time getting a measuring spoon. Almost immediately she started to feel better and her head started to feel floaty.

"You good?" Amelia asked. "Need anything else?"

"Yep. Nope. Actually, yeah," she said, feeling the Pain-Relieving Potion dulling her mind already. "Or maybe not."

"Which is it?" Amelia asked, giggling.

"You know how I brew that potion for you every month?" she asked, slurring slightly. Dangit, why am I slurring, I sound drunk, she thought, but she didn't really care. With this potion at work, nothing really mattered, not even whatever she'd just asked Amelia.

"Yeah, what about it?" she asked.

"What about what?" Freddie asked foggily.

"Jeez, what's in that bottle?" Amelia laughed. "You said something about the birth control potion."

"Oh. Right. Right, right. Do you think other people – other girls would want to buy some from me? I need money. I'm gonna graduate soon," Freddie said with a dopey grin. She knew she wasn't excited about graduating but she didn't feel worried at all right now. Everything would work out.

"Oh definitely!" Amelia said. "Between you and me, some girls have asked me before. I've told them they should ask you, but they're scared of you. They order it from catalogues instead or sneakily buy it in Diagon Alley when their parents aren't looking. I guarantee they'd buy it from you instead, they'd save a fortune on shipping."

"Makemealist," Freddie said thickly, almost unintelligibly. She flopped onto her back on the bed. Ziggy scrambled to get out of the way, then jumped onto her chest and curled up. She reached up to pet him, not even feeling the pain in her shoulder. "Goooood baby."

"A list? Yeah, I can do that. No problem," Amelia assured her. "Anything else?"

"Yeah. Other stuff," she slurred.

"Uh, you're gonna have to be a bit more specific than that, Freddie," she said, looking down at her with a grin.

"Other stuff," she said insistently. "Other potions. Ones I can brew. Sell."

"Oh, I gotcha. Yep, I can do that. Does Professor Snape know about this?"

"Shh," Freddie said, putting a finger to her lips, but really it was her whole hand. She couldn't feel her fingers. But she knew she couldn't talk about Snape with Amelia. Not with anyone but especially not with Amelia who knew too much sometimes. "Nooo, no Snape. Not allowed."

"No problem, I'll keep it on the down low. Slytherins only. You can count on me," Amelia said with a snappy salute that made Freddie grin again.

"Good girl," she said and then let out a bark of laughter when she realized what she'd said, thinking of what Snape called her. "Good kid. Good lady, that's what Zigs says. Good. Not bad, not scratch. Good."

Amelia looked confused and in her potion-induced high Freddie thought that was hilarious. She laughed until a yawn interupted her and she realized just how good her pillow felt.

"Thanks, kid," she said rolling onto her side. Ziggy slid off her chest and let out an indignant meow that made her laugh again, but not too hard since he was her baby. She put an arm around him and tried not to squeeze too hard as she pulled him towards her face to kiss him. "Sorry, baby. Mum's sorry. Sorry, sorry. Sleep now. Sleep, Ziggy."

"Goodnight Freddie," Amelia said, slipping away from her bed with a grin plastered on her face. "See you in the morning."

"In the morning," she repeated in a groggy singsong voice. "In the morning, in the morning... Just call me angel, of the morning angel, just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby. Just call me angel of the morning, angel, then slowly turn away..."

She couldn't remember any more lyrics so she mumbled the same ones over and over again. Amelia was gone and Freddie's eyes were closed. She felt great – wonderful even – and she was murmuring the same lyrics over and over and over again until-

You know that song has more than just a chorus, said Snape's voice in her head, startling her. Her reaction time was impaired by the potion so she didn't jump but her eyes flew open.

Well hello there, she thought happily, closing her eyes and relaxing again, feeling the softness of her pajamas and her bed all around her.

Hello to you, too. How much potion did you drink?

Just a sip, she answered, forcing her eyes open to look at the bottle on her bedside table. It was illuminated by the glowing light from the lake and she could see the amount of potion left in the bottle.

A sip may have been more than a teaspoon, Snape said, but he didn't sound angry or disapproving. He sounded amused – and felt amused, too, though she wasn't sure if it was his emotions she was feeling or her own. She grinned and closed her eyes.

Just a smidge more, maybe, she said, picturing the bottle in her mind so he could see it. There's about 3/4s left in the bottle.

I can see it, he assured her. You should have measured. What have I told you?

Lots of things. You've told me lots of things.

About precise dosing of Pain-Relieving Potion.

Oh yeah. I didn't have a teaspoon. Amelia didn't give me one.

Miss Avery was with you? He asked.

Yeah. I thought you were here. Well not here here, but here here in my head here.

No, your Occlumency was securely in place. Well done.

I love that you checked, she thought and even in her head her voice sounded goofy.

I'm going to review your encounter with Miss Avery- I mean, may I review your encounter with Miss Avery? He asked, clearly unusued to asking permission. She thought it was funny that he asked her permission before diving into her memories and cute. Very cute.

She could pracitcally feel him roll his eyes but he was amused by her too. He had come into her head hoping to find her exactly like this, high as a kite.

I'm going to take that as a 'yes', he said and before Freddie could remember what he was talking about or ask, he delved into her memories, flipping back through the last hour and slowing down when she left his office for the Common Room. He replayed her memories from there, which felt really weird to Freddie in her altered state. By the time he reached the point where she'd pulled the curtains around the bed, Freddie felt like she was going to be sick. She quickly scooted to the edge of the bed, upsetting Ziggy again. She hung her head over the edge and swallowed heavily. Her hair hung around her face as she stared at the floor, trying to will herself not to puke.

Winifred, Snape said, pausing on an image of Amelia's hesitant face wanting to ask her about being naked in the forest. Winifred, relax. She could feel his alarm and concern. She didn't want him to see her puke, but she couldn't make her Occlumency work, she couldn't focus enough. She retched but nothing came up. Ziggy let out a concerned meow from her other side, putting his paws on her ribcage.

I'm okay, she assured him. Mum's okay. Mum's okay.

...Are you talking to your kneazle?

She felt his confusion and laughed weakly, then dry-heaved again.

Forgot i'm not a kneazle, she answered. She looked at her black hair hanging around her face and wished that he was with her to hold her hair back. Or put it back in a bun. That had been nice.

I cannot be with you right now, but I will tomorrow, he said, his voice calm and soothing, like a cool rag on her head. I'll put your hair in a bun for you tomorrow. Just relax for now. You shouldn't have tried to fight me, Winifred, why did you do that?

I didn't. I didn't try to fight.

You were trying to skip ahead. You might not have meant to, but you were. And it made you sick. If you weren't high you'd have a terrible headache, too.

I'm sorry, she said, remembering how it had felt the first time he'd used Legilimency on her. In the Hospital Wing, after Daniel – sharp pain in her chest thinking of it and Snape felt it too – he'd used Legilimency and she'd tried to fight it at first. She cringed at the memory and she felt him wince slightly too. She felt his regret, regret that he'd done it, that he'd entered her mind against her will, that he had ever suspected – I didn't, I never suspected, I only wanted to see if you saw anything. I had to know what you saw, he insisted vehemently and she acknowledged that, accepted it. He regreted having to do it but it had been necessary. Necessary, an order from the Headmaster. Necessary. He wanted her to understand that and she did. But she found herself studying the memory, first of the Hospital Wing then a few hours prior of her last walk with Daniel. She'd replayed it a million times but she still felt like there was something, there had to be something she was missing, some clue. There had to be.

Winifred, Snape's voice said gently and she felt him push the memory away-how did you do that?- and pull back the image of Amelia's face. Just relax, Winifred. I suppose we should not have skipped dinner. Rush of Snape's guilt, but he pulled it back quickly so she wouldn't feel it. I should have thought to make you eat something before you took the potion.

It's a good thing you didn't cuz I'd be puking it on the floor now and Noelle would have to come clean me up, she thought wearily.

Do you want me to send her? I can call her, he offered.

No! She responded immediately. No, I'm...fine. I'm good.

She rolled slowly back onto her back, giving Ziggy enough time to scoot out of the way. She took a steadying breath and Ziggy climbed onto her chest. He stuck his face in hers and meowed, concerned.

"I'm okay, Ziggy," she assured the little kneazle. "I'm fine. It's going away."

Sounds like you're in good hands – or should I say paws? Snape asked lightly, but she could still feel his concern.

"I'm better now," she said aloud, then realized she hadn't meant to say it aloud and repeated it silently.

Good. May I continue?

Yeah, go ahead.

Okay. Relax...

Freddie exhaled slowly and closed her eyes, trying to watch the memory in a detached sort of way. Like she was seeing it for the first time, not like she'd lived it just an hour ago and knew what was happening.

She felt Snape's concern at Amelia's question of him having seen her naked in the forest. She started to tell him not to worry, but he told her to be quiet or she'd get nauseous again. So she let it play out.

He was satisfied with her answer, then amused at Amelia asked her if Dearing had been hot at least, and pleased with Freddie's response. He watched her transform and his interest was piqued at her "conversations" with Ziggy. Amused when the little kneazle thought of him as "Good man" and looked around for him, but he also felt another twinge of guilt that he quickly shut down again.

He watched the rest of the exchange without comment or emotion and she wondered if he was using his Occlumency to somehow hide his emotions from her while still using Legilimency to be in her mind. How is that even possible? She wondered.

You'll learn eventually. And hush, he admonished quickly.

He had reached the part where Amelia was leaving for her to change back and Freddie felt a surge of renewed guilt – her own this time – at the kneazle part of her brain wanting to harm Amelia. She started to block the unpleasant memory but was met with a throb of pain in her head and a renewed sense of nausea.

Stop that, Snape told her sharply, then changed his tone to be more soothing. It's okay, Winifred. You have nothing to hide from me. Just let it play out.

Just the tone of his voice made her feel calmer and more docile, even made her stomach calmer. She relaxed, focusing on the feeling of Ziggy sitting on her chest, and she let the memory continue. She told herself to feel nothing, that this wasn't her bad memory, it was happening to someone else. Some other Freddie.

She could feel Snape's amusement creeping through the link again when he watched her take the Pain-Relieving Potion and become a fool almost immediately. She felt his affection as well – a deep, abiding love for her. Not love, affection, Snape's voice insisted and she could tell he was fighting the urge to withdraw from her mind completely.

Of course, she replied immediately, trying to mimic his soothing tone from before, hoping it would work on him and he wouldn't leave her. Affection. I 'affection' you too, Severus.

She could feel his caution but she could tell he was smiling at the same time so she smiled too, feeling goofy.

You are severely impaired, Miss Gray, he said in a mock-stern tone. But you did not say anything untoward to Miss Avery in your altered state. Good job.

Good girl, she thought insistently and she heard his laughter in her head.

Yes, good girl, he replied warmly. You would be an even more of a good girl if you were asleep like you are supposed to be.

You're the one keeping me up, riffling around in my brain like it's a file cabinet. Otherwise I'd be asleep cuz I'm the goodest girl.

Goodest? He repeated teasingly. That is not a word.

Gooder. Goodest. More good. Best, she thought, finally settling on a word. I'm the best girl.

She felt smug and she heard a sound like him clicking his tongue disapprovingly and she wondered how he could do that in her head.

Such vainity, he said lightly. Just like when you are a cat, you think the world revolves around you. It is very interesting to watch.

Not a cat, she complained, even though she knew for a fact now he was doing it on purpose, saying cat instead of kneazle just to make her whine. He liked it. But that thought was quickly replaced by the memory of how she'd felt as a kneazle, seeing Amelia and wanting to attack her. It was like a dark cloud descended on her mind and Snape tried to push it away.

It is okay, Winifred. You didn't do anything, you didn't hurt your friend. You were in control.

But I could have. I wanted to, she thought darkly. And if I wanted to hurt my friend now, maybe I could have hurt...

Daniel's image flashed through her mind and she felt the pain in her chest return, along with a panic. What if I did, I could have, what if I hurt him, what if, what if, what if it was me, what if he's really dead, he's really dead...

A silent sob shook her body and suddenly she felt the pressure of Snape's arms around her, even though he wasn't really there.

You did not. You know you did not, Winifred, he said, his voice a balm to her turbulent thoughts. You could never have hurt Daniel, just like you would never hurt me. And you would never hurt Amelia. It was an animal instinct, like running into the Dark Forest last night, but you controlled this one. You were in control. You knew it was wrong and you did not act on it. You did good.

She could feel his chest and she pressed her face against it, feeling calmer as he repeated the same thing a dozen different ways – that she did not do anything bad. Until finally she believed him and she felt better, though exhausted.

We can talk about it tomorrow if you want to. Discuss the animal instincts. But you need to sleep now, he said, soft but commanding.

Will you stay with me? She asked, feeling small and pitiful but, thanks to the potion, not really caring.

Of course, he said, pacifying her. Just keep your eyes closed and relax. Feel me against you, feel me holding you. And she really could. As long as she kept her eyes closed she could feel the warmth of his skin, the rise and fall of his chest, like really was right there with her. It had been months since he'd used his Legilimency like this and she was so glad he was doing it now. She was too exhausted to even wonder how it worked, all she could think was she loved this magic, loved him. Relax, he said again, like a whisper. Relax and enjoy the effects of the potion.

She thought of the little blue bottle on her bedside table, thought of sneaking just another drop or two to help make sure her bad feelings and memories stayed gone.

Don't you dare, he said sternly and she felt her face flush.

I wasn' gonna, she thought drowsily. Just don't wanna feel bad.

You don't need it. Feel me. Do I feel bad?

No...you feel really good. Warm and comfy and nice and wonderful and really good...

That's a lot of adjectives, he said. A glimmer of amusement.

They're alllll true. I can't pick just one. I could think of a million others but my brain is full of fuzzy things now, like...fuzzy kneazle fur in my head.

That means it's time to sleep, he said calmly. ...And just so you know...this is exactly what the Imperius Curse feels like...

That piqued her interest, but it wasn't enough to keep her awake to think about it. She was already drifting away. As her mind faded to black she heard the rest of the song she'd been singing earlier. She was only dimly aware that it wasn't Snape's voice singing, it was more like a record playing low in her head.

"Maybe the sun's light will be dim And it won't matter anyhow If morning's echo says we've sinned Well, it was what I wanted now And if we're victims of the night I won't be blinded by the light Just call me angel of the morning, angel Just touch my cheek before you leave me, baby Just call me angel of the morning, angel Then slowly turn away I won't beg you to stay with me Through the tears of the day, of the years Baby, baby, baby Just call me angel of the morning, angel..."