Jessica has arrived, Erin. Just to let you know.

She smiled at her phone before looking up at Ron. "I have a very important visitor to see, Ron. Thank you so much for this little chat, and the gin. You'll have to email me what it is, because I'd like to add that to our liquor cabinet at home. I'll let you know when I have an update on where things are headed with the Sanderson case."

"Give your daughter an extra kiss for me."

"I hate being transparent," she muttered as she got to her feet, listening to Ron chuckle. "There are a few people who know exactly what I need to calm my heart. It's been a year."

"I know, and I'm surprised that you didn't take the same time that Agent Hotchner did. You are more than welcome to that, you know."

"And if I didn't keep busy, I would wallow in self-pity. Though I might end up taking you up on that in the future if things continue to head down this path. Now, I should probably get to her before she charms Helen more than she already has."

"I understand. Try to have a better day."

Erin nodded as she turned and left his office, heading over to the stairwell, since she knew that would be a faster way to get to Jessica and her daughter. There was a moment when she thought that she might trip, but was able to catch herself, pausing to catch her breath before continuing on her way down. Finally, she was exiting onto the sixth floor and to her relief, no one looked at her askance as she strode over to her office.

Just like she thought, Helen was not behind her desk, which meant that she was most likely in her inner office with Jessica and Catherine. Drawing in a deep breath, she shook her head and smiled as she entered her inner sanctum. "Why am I not surprised to see that you both are spoiling my baby girl?"

"You're in a better mood," Helen commented, and she nodded.

"Ron may have offered me a glass of liquid courage, and I indulged. And before you say anything, Helen, it was one serving of gin, so I'm not impaired, just a little more settled, if still extremely frustrated."

Helen blushed a little as she nodded, and Erin made her way over to the sofa and took a seat next to Jessica. "How are you doing?" the younger woman asked, and she shrugged. "Oh, I know that expression well from Aaron. Helen, why don't you take Catherine up to see Penelope? I have the feeling that we need to have a little chat before things get too far out of hand."

Helen nodded as she left the room, closing the door behind her. Erin rubbed her hands on her thighs as she turned to look at Jessica, seeing just how sad her face looked. "Jessie…"

"I'm not going to harangue you, Erin. I'm going to hug you." Before she could protest, Jessica was leaning over and pulling her into a tight hug. "It's been a year for me, too. And I don't even have Jack to hug, since he and Aaron went away for a few days. Taking care of Elise and Catherine has kept me sane just now, and I don't want to feel like you have to put on this mask of false bravery. It is completely okay to feel heartbroken, and to take some time for yourself before you come apart at the seams."

"I think I already have? I threw what can only be termed as a tantrum in the bullpen earlier, because this case has been a clusterfuck from the moment I had Agent Morgan do the interview. If only Aaron had been here, or David hadn't decided to leave his book introduction until the last moment, it might not have gone south this quickly. How can I fail this badly?"

"You didn't fail, from what I can tell, though I don't know the entire situation. But I know you, I know your judgement, and you wouldn't be this far off base." Jessica drew in a shallow breath before turning her face so that it was buried in Erin's hair. "I miss her, Erin."

"I miss her, too, Jessica. And I still feel so guilty over what happened. If I had called Aaron or David that morning before rushing over, maybe things would have turned out differently."

"You can't think like that, Erin. You have no way of knowing how that man would have reacted if things had gone a different way." Jessica sniffled a little. "And now I'm going to start crying, again."

Erin pulled away from Jessica in order to look into her face, reaching out to cup her it as she looked deep into her eyes. "Do you know how grateful I am to have you in my life? I think that I would have completely fallen apart if it had been just me going through this. And I know, I would have had David, but I never had a sister of my own, and then I gained two with you and Haley."

"We were a fierce triad for a while. And we'll continue to be a fierce duo, in her memory. If you want that."

"Yes, of course. You're Aunt Jessica to all my children, after all, so you're indispensable to me. And there would be a hole in my heart the size of Brazil if you were to stop being a part of our lives. Though if you were to tell anyone else what I just said, I would have to deny all knowledge of saying that. I have a reputation to maintain, after all."

Jessica let out a watery snort of a laugh, which caused Erin to laugh as well as they sat up, taking tandem deep breaths before looking at each other. "Heaven forbid that you be thought of as anything other than the Ice Queen, Erin. At least those closest to you know the truth."

"And that's how I want to keep it. For a little while, at least." Clearing her throat, she wiped her finger beneath her eyes to clear out the fresh tears and then got to her feet. "Would you like something to drink? I have water and coffee in here."

"I'm good until lunch arrives, Erin. Now, is there anything else that you want to talk about while we wait for Helen to return?"

"The short answer is no."

"And the long answer?" Jessica asked, arching an eyebrow at her as she took a seat behind her desk and woke her computer up, knowing that she needed to get to work before too much time passed and she was even further behind for the day. "Erin, you can't brush me off by burying your face in work. You know I'll just be waiting for you at home tonight."

Erin let out a long sigh as she looked up at Jessica, motioning for her to take a seat in one of the chairs in front of her desk. Jessica gave her a small smile as she scurried over and sank down into the chair, giving her a soft smile. "I hate that you are just as stubborn as Haley was. But I am also so glad for that, because you keep me open. The long answer is that I don't want to talk about it at work, and would rather talk with you and David after supper tonight, if you'll be kind enough to stay."

"I think that I can agree to that, Erin. Is there anything in particular that you'd like me to cook for us all?"

"I want scalloped potatoes and ham, and you don't even really have to go all out and make them from scratch? Just, check the pantry, there should be a boxed mix of scalloped potatoes, and I believe there's cubed ham in the fridge, still. Throw it together, bake it, and have it ready for six, and I'll make certain to be there."

Jessica nodded and relaxed in her chair as she regarded Erin closely. "I know how difficult it is for you to open up to us, to me, but I only keep pushing because I know what it did to Haley and Aaron, for him to keep everything locked up tight in his mind and not letting her in. They didn't break up because of Elise, or because they stopped loving each other. They broke up because he couldn't communicate, and I don't want to see that happen to you and Dave. Okay?" Erin nodded as she glanced at her monitor and let out a long breath. "How much do you have to get done?"

"Too much. But if I have you and Catherine to help keep my mind off everything else, I think that I can get it done before we break for lunch and you head home with her." She gave Jessica a small smile before opening the first email, so glad to hear Jessica pick a safe topic to talk about as she started her work for the day.