Trigger warning: Mentions Naluma's past abuse as well as female reproductive health care.
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CHAPTER 137 - DR. KALONIA
Naluma traveled under protest to the dreaded medical appointment on Zaxyn military base four days later. While Koda Station was only two hours away, it was too expensive for routine medical care. The military health plan the Republic provided had only one facility for routine care, though. So, Zaxyn it was. At least we got to spend some time together, even if Luke wouldn't touch me. It's almost enough just to have him here, next to me. She sighed. I wish ... no, he wouldn't understand, and what would he be able to do anyway?
The next day, Naluma waited for Luke outside the blood lab. She had given her blood and urine samples a half hour before and now stared through the Plexiglas windows that soared above her. The med center had evolved over the last decade since he'd sought help with his PTSD. No more bunkers halfway underground with a temporary vibe, the sprawling buildings rose five stories above the trees, making it the premiere heath center in the Republic. The view alone brightened Naluma's spirit. She almost smiled.
Fastening his tunic as he exited the blood draw station, Luke asked, "Ready?"
She raised her eyebrows and shook her head slightly.
"Come on." He wrapped his arm around her waist and led her down the corridor. "It'll be okay."
His love cracked her shields once more, flowing down their Force-bond. As long as I can keep him out of my head ...
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Once in the examination room, Doctor Kalonia wasted no time. The average-sized, middle-aged woman with short-cropped brown hair waved her medical scanner over Naluma's body, ascertaining her vital signs—weight, body mass index, temperature, respiration, blood pressure, and heart rate. "Master Fau, when did you start your last cycle?"
"Sixteen days ago," Naluma said, her voice flat. Sitting on the exam table, she stared at the wall and imagined she were somewhere else.
"Stay still please." Kalonia swept the scanner down and around her neck, across her chest, and around her abdomen.
When the doctor guided the scanner lower, Naluma's mouth turned dry. The screen displayed her hip bones and nerves, even the blood pulsing through her veins.
"You can breathe, Master Fau. We're almost done. You're doing great." Dr. Kalonia finished the scan, but her expression remained unconvinced.
"Um, you need a pelvic exam." She opened a cabinet door and pulled a folded gown and sheet. "Put on the gown. Position yourself at the end of the table and cover with the sheet. I'll return with the instrument tray in a few minutes."
While the doctor scooted through the examination room door, Naluma unfastened her tunic. Her back spasmed as she tried to remove it. "Ahh!"
Luke moved in behind her and slid her tunic off one arm first and then another. With each passing moment, the stabbing pain spurred on her fear and anger, breaking past her shields.
He rubbed the pressure point on her back and said, "Hey, it'll be all right. My doc did some worse things to me. You'll be fine."
Removing her boots, he helped her out of her trousers and underclothes before tying the gown on.
Her thoughts of inadequacy, brokenness, and her secret past threatened to slip through the mental cracks that seemed to widen every day. What would he say if he knew?
She shivered in the chilly room while Luke unfolded the sheet. Naluma took a deep breath and initiated her relaxation exercises as she climbed onto the examination table and placed her legs into the stirrups. Exposed. Everything's exposed now. And not just my body. They're going to find out.
He smiled at her while he covered her lower half with the cool sheet. Relax.
When the doctor returned, she set up her tray. "Have you ever had one of these exams before?"
"When I entered the military," Naluma said. "It's been at least fifteen years." The doctor applied cold lubrication fluid that dripped onto the table, making Naluma uncomfortable.
"Hm. Long overdue then. I'll try to be gentle, but you will feel some scraping."
When the cool metal of the speculum touched her, Naluma stiffened.
"Relax your muscles, Master Fau. It will only make it worse if you tense."
Naluma took a deep breath and exhaled at a steady rhythm.
While peering with a flashlight and fiber optic probe, Kalonia made a few grunts and recorded some notes on her scanner. "Master Fau, have you ever been pregnant before?"
Shuddering, Naluma whispered, "I might have been."
The doctor adjusted the probe and moved it around inside Naluma's uterus. "I see scarring here. Different levels."
Luke grabbed Naluma's shaking hand. "What does that mean, Doctor?"
"At least two miscarriages, maybe more. There's still some fibrous material in here." She stood up and reviewed the video from the probe on her scanner. She froze it on one area and showed it to the couple. "I need to remove it, or it's going to rot your womb."
Naluma shuddered and did everything she could to fight back the tears. I'm a failure. Will I ever be able to have child? How did I not know? "How old is it?"
"A few months, maybe only a few weeks. Your last period, how would you describe it?"
"Heavy. Gushing." She took a sharp breath. "Agony."
The doctor patted her shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Master Fau. That was probably your most-recent miscarriage. How long ago was your first one?"
She bit her lip and closed her eyes trying to keep the images from assaulting her. "I was in the military. During the Rebellion. It was right before Thila I think. I had a really bad cycle, and some fibrous material came out."
The doctor swiped through screens on her scanner. "I don't see it in your records."
"I never reported it. But it was right before the mission, and if I reported to sickbay I would have been scrubbed from the duty roster. I only suspected it, and I didn't want the child anyway. "
"Did the father know?"
Naluma broke down, tears streaming down her cheeks. But Luke was there, holding her hand, taking the pain in her soul.
"She was gang raped more than once. Without DNA, I don't think you could know." Why didn't you tell me about this, Naluma?
His accusatory question was more than she could handle. She shut him out, shields slamming shut once more.
Dr. Kalonia looked up. "It's okay. We can take care of this. Just a little vacuuming. Probably will experience some cramping and an altering of your cycle in a few weeks. Your cervix has changed a bit."
"Is—"
"Relax. Nothing wrong with the shape. It's normal for women who have given birth." After removing the speculum, she stripped her gloves.
Naluma started to sit up, but the doctor said, "Stay there. Nothing wrong with the cervix, but I want to run some other scans and then we'll send the meddroid in to suction the extra tissue and apply some bacta gel to your scarring."
"What's wrong?"
"Don't know yet."
Luke asked, "Well, then what do you suspect?"
"I'll send these specimens to the lab and get the medical droid."
Naluma shook. Luke stroked her forehead and shushed her softly while the doctor again left the room.
She returned a few long minutes later with a silver Two-One Bee medical droid. "All right, I'm going to pull out the speculum, but I need to do an internal sonogram." She programmed the droid and pulled out an obscene-looking wand. "Just relax. Pretend this is your husband."
As the doctor inserted the thick wand into her birth canal, Naluma tensed, bolts of pain spiking up her pain. She huffed through the pain in her back, but the woman didn't seem concerned. It was over in a few minutes. Except for her nagging back, this procedure was nothing more than pressure in her nether regions.
Dr. Kalonia pulled out the device and flicked a few buttons on the droid. "Now, Two-One Bee here is going to clean up in there, get all the excess material and remove your uterine lining. Warning, though, this will probably trigger your cycle early."
A narrow tube with a flexible mouth shot out of the droid's chest and worked its way inside. Naluma jerked as the tissue was pulled from her womb and her lining was evacuated.
The droid pulled out the arm before Dr. Kalonia inserted her fiberoptic camera once more. "Looks good. I think you've miscarried at least three times, the last two within a few months of each other. The scarring is at different levels of intensity." She showed them the screen while the camera was still inside. "See this, how it's still pink and fresh. That's your most recent. The one over here, slightly below it, is red and hardening. And this is white and solid. Might be more hiding under the fresher bits."
She pulled out the probe and flicked a button on the scanner. A rectangular imaging device descended from the ceiling. "Pull your legs down and slide up on the table, lying flat."
Her stiff knees did not want to cooperate. Luke had to help her lower them and scoot her up the table, her rear and legs becoming wet from the leaking lubrication fluid.
"What's that for?" Naluma asked.
"Imaging. I want to see the rest of your reproductive system." She hit a few buttons on the droid, and n monitor appeared in his chest. The droid moved another appendage over her abdomen. The doctor pointed at the left side of the image. "Look here. A healthy ovary and fallopian tube." She moved to the other side. "But over here, you see this tube? It's damaged. I don't see the egg in it anymore, but I can see where it was. Have you had any bad cycles in the last few months before the very last one?"
Naluma nodded. "Three months ago."
"Honey, why didn't you tell me?"
"You were on that mission. You'd just left."
Luke asked, "Why didn't you go to Koda?"
"I just thought it was a really bad cycle. No tissue came out that time. I'm sorry."
Dr. Kalonia crossed her arms. "I'm sorry, too. That fallopian tube is no longer viable. Ovary seems okay. In fact, it's the one ovulating right now. See the egg about to push out?" She increased the magnification.
"What does that mean?"
"Usually, the good tube will try to catch the egg from the other side, but it's not always successful. You are fertile, but it's going to take some effort to conceive, and judging by your history, carrying it to term. But it is possible." She flipped the switches and turned off the scanner, the imaging device retreating into the ceiling.
She smiled at Naluma before turning to the door. "I'll go check on those lab specimens while you dress."
Kalonia had exited before Naluma could even sit up. She winced in pain when she lowered her legs.
Luke helped her rise. "Maybe we should tell her about your back."
"I'm fine, Luke." She hung her head low, biting back the tears. "It's just stress."
He tilted his head and sighed.
Leave it.
He shook his head and grabbed her clothes from the counter.
Can you grab me some tissues? I'm leaking that fluid.
He grabbed a few towels from the counter and handed them to her so she could wipe her legs and crotch. She slid her underwear and trousers on, and then Luke helped her pull on her boots.
Dr. Kalonia returned as Luke helped Naluma into her tunic. When she flinched in pain as he slid her arm through the sleeve, Kalonia asked, "What's wrong here? You didn't mention anything about a back problem."
The doctor wedged between Luke away and removed the tunic. She ran the med droid's scanner along Naluma's spine and then palpated the back muscles. "Hmm, tell me, Master Fau, on a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the stress in your life?"
"Maybe an eight—"
Luke interrupted, "Nine ... teen."
"Um-hmm." Kalonia pressed on a tender spot, eliciting a scream from Naluma.
"Lie face down on the table." The doctor ran her hands along the muscle fibers, from neck to waist and then outward from the spine. She pushed on the glutes, stretching them toward Naluma's toes, before she adjusted the spine.
As vertebrae cracked into position, Naluma sighed in relief.
"How does that feel?"
"Better, much better." A tear of relief slid down her face. "I can still feel it, but you took the edge off."
"Ice after exercising. Hot soak before bed. Massaging the affected area will improve blood flow and flexibility."
Kalonia grabbed her datapad from the counter as Naluma dressed. She tapped a few commands into the device. "Your upper spine was misaligned—muscles too tight, pulling your spine in the wrong the directions. I've assigned some stretches. Lots of water every day, too."
The doctor scrunched her lips together and furrowed her brows. "I was feeling way too much bone, Master Fau, and your BMI is out of range. How much are you exercising?"
"Run five clicks every—"
Luke interjected, "Ten." Luke caught Naluma's eye.
Naluma sighed. "And five hours of saber and combat classes."
Dr. Kalonia took in a sharp breath and shook her head as she noted the information on Naluma's chart. "And, what's your normal morning meal?"
Naluma murmured, "Stimcaf."
"Midday?"
"Toast."
"And evening?"
"Nothing," Naluma whispered, her face falling in worry.
Luke looked at her, concerned. "You hardly ate anything on the way in either, Naluma. What's going on?"
"Not hungry," Naluma said turning her head away in shame. "When I do eat, I'm in agony."
"Master Fau, lie down on the table again, face up this," Dr. Kalonia said. "Open your tunic." Dr. Kalonia ran the med droid scanner across Naluma's upper abdomen and then input some information into her chart. "Um-hmm. You can dress again."
"Master Skywalker, Master Fau, please complete these surveys." She handed them two datapads from a drawer.
Dr. Kalonia said as she gathered her supplies. "Take your time. I'm going to expedite your lab results. I don't want any surprises."
Luke smiled as she left. Naluma frowned, her face dark with worry.
He blushed as he completed his survey. When he tried to peek at her questions, Naluma pulled her datapad away.
Why's mine so long? He's done already. And this question has nothing to do with reproduction. Neither does this one. As the survey progressed, she ground her teeth and tensed her neck again.
Naluma noticed him staring at her. "Luke, don't. Just leave me alone right now."
"Hey, these questions aren't so bad." He crossed to her, resting his chin on her shoulder from behind.
Naluma elbowed him with a quick jerk. "Please."
I have stepped away. "Sure. Sorry."
"It's just ... it's just ..."
"Just what?"
"I'm trying—oh, forget it. You wouldn't understand."
"You can tell me anything."
"Not this." Naluma shook her head. "Just let me finish this stupid survey." She answered the remaining questions with quick jabs to the datapad, hitting "send" as soon as she finished. "Don't know why they're asking all these questions anyway. They have nothing—"
The doctor's return interrupted their discussion. "I have a diagnosis."
Fear struck Naluma—fear that something was dreadfully wrong with her. She could not keep the terror from breaking through her shields. It darkened the entire room, affecting both the doctor and Luke.
Luke grabbed her hand, cutting off the fear from the doctor and absorbing it himself. Relax. We'll get through this together. No reason to fear. I'm here.
Scanning through her datapad, Kalonia sat on the rolling stool. "A few issues—first, you two are not together often enough. Even with couples who are with each other every day, it can take up to a year to conceive. At the rate you guys are going, it could take twenty—"
"But she has conceived, twice you said," Luke interjected.
"And that was before a fallopian tube went down. It's going to take longer. Chart your ovulation, Master Fau. Master Skywalker, make sure you're home at those times. I'm prescribing you a chemical tester that you'll use daily."
"Second problem—stress. Master Fau, when you are stressed, your body is saying, 'Nope, not going to happen.' Reduce your stress. I don't care how, but get rid of it. Cut out the stimcaf, too. And get some nutrition into your body. Miscarriages usually happen when the baby is not getting the proper nutrients and vitamins. I'm prescribing prenatal vitamins. Take them."
"Because all of these issues are leading to your third problem—an ulcer. Scanner has isolated the primary cause to stress, not bacteria and not drugs. You need to cut out the stimcaf, alcohol, certain pain meds, spicy foods, and sweets. "
"I'm not eating anything as it is." Naluma sighed.
"I'm also prescribing a diet high in lean protein, fiber, and antioxidants. I'll also give you something for the pain that won't exacerbate the ulcer and won't affect a fetus should you conceive. But you have to eat. You are dangerously underweight, and your body is not in any shape for a healthy pregnancy. "
Quiet sobs was all Naluma had left. Luke tried to grab her hand, but she pulled it away.
She crossed her arms and glared at her patient. "If you can't handle a large meal three times a day, break it into six smaller meals every two hours. But eat. As you reduce your stress, your ulcer should heal. Reduce some of your exercise, too. I want at least seven kilos on you by next month."
With twinkle in her eye, she said, "Master Skywalker, your test results came back fine. Nothing wrong with you. Master Fau, you're ovulating right now. We saw it on the scan, and your blood work confirmed it. However, you're probably not going feel too hot for the next few days. Give your body a chance to bounce back, maybe a month or two before you worry about conceiving."
Naluma breathed a sigh of relief. "So there's hope?"
"You have to change your lifestyle, but, yes, there's hope," Dr. Kalonia said as she lowered her datapad. "However, even if you weren't trying to conceive, Master Fau, I am concerned about the amount of stress you are under. You are borderline hypertensive. You're fatigued. You already have an ulcer. We don't usually see these ailments until the fifth decade. If you don't reduce your stress, it will reduce your lifespan. "
Naluma hung her head low and shuddered as tears escaped.
Luke wrapped his arm around her and projected a thought. Together. We'll get through this together.
Yeah, right. We're never together.
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Did you know ...
● Dr. Halter Kalonia is fluent in Shyriiwook, only one of a handful of non-Wookiee characters in the galaxy to claim that skill.
● While Kalonia treated Luke and Naluma in my story, she states in the novelization of The Force Awakens that she had no prior experience with lightsaber wounds.
● The actress who portrayed Dr. Kalonia in The Force Awakens is Harriet Walter, who is the niece of Christopher Lee, who portrayed Darth Tyrannus / Count Dooku in the prequels.
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Tell me what you think ...
● What other questions do you think were on Naluma's survey that weren't on Luke's?