It was a tense morning. Kylo and Rey were effectively banned from having lunch with the Knights, as they all wanted to eat with Sahrsa and the presence of either Kylo or Rey was likely to prevent her from relaxing. They took it in stride, having their lunch brought to their room.
In turn, they banned the Knights from all being there as Sahrsa made her decision. When the time came, only Ember and Shadow accompanied Sahrsa to the same training room they'd gather in earlier that morning.
"Do you have any questions that you are able to ask us?" Kylo asked after a round of greetings.
"No, sir," Sahrsa answered.
"Are you aware that neither answer you can give us is right or wrong and that there won't be any consequences either way?" Rey added.
"Yes, miss."
"Anything else I need to ask her?" Kylo asked Rey, wondering how else they could make sure Sahrsa was deciding on her own volition and not because of the chip's influence.
"Not that I can think of," Rey answered.
"Well then," he said. "Sahrsa of Ren, what is your decision regarding the Force?"
"I would like to be reconnected, sir," Sahrsa said.
Shadow eyed her for a moment, seeming to wait for something, then turned towards Kylo. "When we explained to her earlier that we'd all gone through meditation training before being reconnected, she expressed concern that she has had no such training."
"I told her I hadn't either but that didn't seem to lessen her worry," Ember added.
The look Sahrsa threw both Ember and Shadow was decidedly grateful.
"Ah," Kylo said, glancing at Rey. They'd discussed that very same issue in private. "It's partially because it would take up quite a bit of time, and we wish to have a clear view of what's going on before we remove the chip from the other Base Knights. And partially because we're not even sure meditation will actually work with the chip's lasting influence."
"It's more than simply quieting your mind," Rey picked up. "It has to do with self-awareness as well and given that that's part of what the chip influences, we don't know what effects meditation will have." She shifted her stance, looking uncomfortable. "I know it must be highly uncomfortable for you that we're trying things we're not certain of ourselves," she said. "We just- Know that we're not wildly experimenting and are thoroughly discussing every step we take."
Kylo placed a hand on her back, lightly rubbing in an attempt to soothe her. He felt the same unease at what was essentially experimenting on a human being, but they didn't know what else to do. All they knew was that not trying at all to free those Knights from their chips was even worse.
"Shadow, Ember, you can either leave or stay," Kylo picked up when it became apparent Sahrsa wasn't going to offer a comment to Rey's words. "There won't be anything you can do and you'll have to sit on the sidelines and remain passive no matter what happens."
The two shared a look. "We'll stay," Shadow said, before they both walked to sit next to the door.
Kylo nodded, summoned cushions, and motioned for Sahrsa to sit down as well. He explained to Sahrsa what he would be doing, ordered her to ask her questions and, when there were none, reached out.
Entering her mind was like entering a war zone. Or, at least, a place where recently a war had been fought. It manifested itself mostly as woodland but there were craters in the ground, trees burned and flattened, and a sense of eery disaster hung there like it only hung in places where death had come and gone. Kylo was relieved to see that some trees still had leaves and seemed to be growing, but the overall impression was chaotic, to say the least.
He walked through the trees for some time, assessing the damage, before he finally spoke.
"Do you remember your time at Base Z?" he asked, having decided not to ask anything too specific as that would make it harder on Sahrsa.
He waited, but got no answer.
"Sahrsa?" he tried again.
Still only silence answered him. Kylo worried his lip. Sahrsa's seeming unawareness of his presence, or her inability to answer, was something he hadn't taken into account. Wondering how he should go about searching through her memories without Sahrsa's guidance, he aimlessly kept walking.
It took him some time before he realised the forest in front of him held no signs of damage. It took him another moment to figure out he was standing in what seemed to be a long strip of land devoid of any trees at all. Looking back, there was half-destroyed forest, to the left and right, a strip of land with only grass and the beginnings of a bush or two.
He looked back and forward between the two, distinctly different forests, and realised he was standing in the rift the chip had caused when it had taken effect. To see it visualised like that was utterly shocking and he hated Snoke even more than he had before.
Moving forward, he walked into the unmarked forest and simply decided to try his luck. He pressed his hand against the bark of a tree, and pushed. The memory he fell into was one of Sahrsa's trainings in her last year at Base Z. The Force was already clearly gone, so Kylo swiftly allowed himself to fall out of the memory again.
He looked up at the tree and wondered if the trees would look different if there was still a trace of the Force in Sahrsa's memory. He couldn't base his search merely on an assumption though, let alone spend his time searching for 'maybe slightly different trees' within an entire forest of them.
With a sigh, he decided to move further away from the rift, hoping it meant he would be going further back in time. Memories were connected to each other and, usually, Kylo could follow those connections to make time-jumps. With the current state of things, he figured those connections were among the roots of the trees and he had no means to follow those. The only option he had was randomly connecting with different trees in an attempt to find the right one.
Kylo stepped up to a second tree and pushed himself into the memory it contained. He surrendered himself to the realisation that the entire process was going to take a very, very long time.
It was only when he found a memory where the Force was still strongly present, that he started taking notice of the trees' appearances again. They did look somewhat different. Healthier. Sturdier. He started circling, trying several trees in succession in an attempt to find the one memory where Sahrsa had lost her connection. Eventually, he bumped into a tree that was twisted and gnarled, barely holding any leaves at all. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened within that specific memory.
"I found it," Kylo spoke, just in case Sahrsa could hear him despite being unable to answer.
He stepped forward, took a breath, and connected with the memory. By now, he had a decent enough idea of what types of memories he could expect. Sahrsa's disconnection had apparently happened quite early on, if he were to guess at her apparent age. He watched in horror as a classmate of hers instinctively retaliated against their trainer with the Force, severely wounding him and subsequently being beaten to a pulp.
When the boy lost consciousness, Kylo could feel the determination in Sahrsa's mind and the typical, still equally as horrifying sensation of the Force being cut off. He let himself fall out of the memory, then pushed back into it, restarting.
As he later held onto the strands of the Force, preventing their disconnecting, the sound of a strong wind rustling through a forest reached him before he was, as usual, violently thrown out of Sahrsa's mind. He toppled backwards with the force of it, hitting the ground hard despite having been seated.
Rey was next to him in an instant, her hands on his chest and face. The sound of whistling wind was still in his ears and it took him a moment to realise it wasn't a memory. He struggled to sit up as Rey shouted to Ember and Shadow to check on Sahrsa but not use the Force on her.
"Ben, are you alright?" she asked.
He tried to blink open his eyes but quickly shut them again. His headache was blinding. He forced himself as Sahrsa screamed, only getting them open in time to get a blurry vision of Sahrsa passing out. He pushed himself up, trying to get to her, but Rey held him back.
"I need to check," he protested. "I need to go back into her mind and see what's happening. Maybe I can help."
"I'll do it," Rey immediately countered. Her hand rose to his temple. "Show me what it looked like."
He quickly and efficiently shared his memories of Sahrsa's mindscape, including the realisation of the rift between the damaged and undamaged forests.
"Okay," Rey said, pushing him back down. "Now lie down and rest." She turned and shouted into the wind. "Ember! Come here and make sure he doesn't move."
"Yes, Madam," Ember answered, clearly accepting it as an order and not a suggestion.
Kylo grinned because of it, even though he wasn't entirely sure Rey was even paying attention to Ember's words.
"Tell me what she's doing," he ordered as soon as Ember arrived by his side.
"The wind is pretty strong the closer you get to Sahrsa," Ember said. "She's fighting it to get by her side." There was a pause. "She's saying something to Shadow, I don't know what," she continued after a moment. "She's lifting her hand to Sahrsa's temple. Uhm-"
"Uhm, what?" Kylo demanded as he felt a spike of pain through his bond with Rey.
"She pulled back like she was hit by an electrical current?" Ember answered.
Another spike of pain.
"She tried again, didn't she?" Kylo asked.
"She did," Ember agreed.
"I can't get into her mind," Rey said only a moment later through their bond. "It feels like it's got an energy barrier around it." A pause. "Ben, I don't know what to do."
Kylo sighed. "I think there's nothing we can do but wait," he answered.
"She's talking to Shadow again," Ember supplied.
"We have to wait this out," Kylo said. "Sahrsa's mind is protected; Rey can't get in."
"What about Sahrsa?" Ember asked.
"I don't know." He took a few breaths in the hope it would ease his headache. "How long has it been?" he asked.
"We've missed dinner. What took you so long?" she snapped.
"She couldn't guide me," he answered, understanding Ember's temper was due to her worrying. "I had to blindly search until I found the right memory."
"Oh."
There was no way of telling how long they waited until the howling wind finally started to settle.
"Sahrsa?" Rey asked. Then again, with more emphasis.
"Miss Rey is shaking Sahrsa's shoulders but there's no reaction," Ember supplied.
The curse that Rey let out next was so colourful, it had Kylo grinning again. By Ember's commentary, he knew she was heading to the door.
"What happened?" Phasma's immediate questioning came as the door slid open. "The equipment has been going haywire and several alarms have been going off. The staff is spooked. The Knights have gone to the trainees to settle them. What's going on?"
"Get Reor in here," Rey said. Kylo had never heard her use such a commanding tone and he would have given everything to see how she looked in that moment. "And a strong pain medication for Ben."
"Run," Phasma said.
"Run?" Kylo answered.
"There are a few Guard behind her," Ember said. "One just took off. I think the equipment going haywire included their communication."
"We're going to need a stretcher too, in case Sahrsa doesn't wake up," Rey continued. "And get some food in here. Ben needs to eat."
"I'm fine," Kylo countered.
The judgemental silence that followed told him exactly what the others thought about his statement.
"Consider it done," Phasma said.
"Where's Flock?" Rey demanded.
"He's right-"
"Flock is present, miss."
"-here," Phasma finished.
"Check her vitals," Rey said.
"Yes, miss."
Whirring told Kylo that the droid moved into the room.
"Heart rate elevated," Flock said after a moment. "Signs of a fever."
A bunch of other comments and numbers were said that Kylo hardly cared about. The most important part was that the heart rate and fever were all that seemed to be wrong with Sahrsa.
"Signs of distress," Flock suddenly said.
"We're all distressed, you bloody droid," Ember snapped.
"Wah! Miss Too-dangerous. Flock is only doing its job."
"Shadow," Rey said, tone soft. "We don't know what's going on yet. The reconnection must have been a shock to her system. The fact that I can't get into her mind must mean the Force is at work. She might turn out fine."
There was a moment of silence, then the sound of Ember standing. Not long after, Rey took hold of his hand, and checked his forehead.
"How are you feeling?" she asked.
"Fine."
Silence.
"Apart from the headache," Kylo amended.
He tried to get up again but Rey pushed him down.
"Don't move," she insisted.
"But-"
"If the woman says not to move, you don't move." Reor sounded out of breath. "What happened?"
"We reconnected her to the Force but she's not waking up," Rey answered. "Please check her. We don't want to carelessly move her if it's unsafe."
"You, girl," Reor said.
"Shadow," Shadow answered in a weak voice as Ember echoed 'Girl?' in a shocked tone.
"Go help your Supreme Leader take his pain medication," Reor said, before his tone changed and seemed aimed at Rey. "How long since he has eaten?"
"I'm still here, you know," Kylo protested. "Since lunch."
"He needs food," Reor said to yet someone else.
"It's on its way," Phasma answered.
"Good."
Kylo allowed himself to relax a little further as Shadow muttered something to Rey, Reor started evaluating Sahrsa with Flock's help, and he swallowed down his pain meds with Rey's help. Not long after, a Guard arrived carrying food, for which Rey finally allowed Kylo to sit up.
"It's sandwiches," Rey said, pushing one into his hands.
He tried to open his eyes again but the light still stabbed him horribly so he blindly bit into his sandwich.
"You eat too, Shadow," Rey said.
"I'm not hungry," Shadow answered.
"You need to eat. Not eating will do nothing to help Sahrsa. Here."
"Phasma," Kylo said. "Have you eaten?"
"I ate while guarding the door, sir," she answered.
Silence reigned for a little while until Reor spoke up. "The fever and heart rate Flock caught seem to be the only things wrong with Sahrsa," he said. "I believe this is much the same as when we just removed the chip but I would like to move her to the med bay to keep an eye on her. At least until the fever goes down."
"Phasma," Kylo said again.
"We already have a stretcher here, sir."
"Now you," Reor's voice sounded next to Kylo, startling him.
"I'm fine," Kylo insisted again. "The headache is a side effect from the reconnection. I need to rest."
Reor huffed, then ordered Flock to read his vitals. He huffed again once Flock finished.
"It would seem you are right," he admitted. "The medication should kick in soon," he added. "I'm taking Sahrsa to the med bay now."
Kylo nodded. "Ember," he said. "Arrange with Phasma for a Knight to guard the med bay. She has the Force now."
"Yes, sir," she said. "Shadow, are you coming?"
Soon after, the room was empty except for Rey, Phasma and him. It took him another few more minutes before he could open his eyes without feeling someone was pounding on his head. Flanked by Rey and Phasma, he made his way back to his room where Rey quickly ushered him into bed and they settled down for the night.