Chapter 140 – Enough to Keep me Going

Phoenix P.O.V

From the moment I transformed into the Phoenix amongst the chaos and carnage and took to the skies, I knew I was exactly where I was meant to be. I felt just like I did in that moment all those years ago when I questioned if I had made the right choice going to Mikaela and Sam's aid. As I swoop and glide above the city, raining down fireballs and clearing a path through the swarms of prototypes, I know I have made the right decision to come back. To return to my family. To return to him.

I let out a loud metallic shriek as I dive low and knock a group of 'Cons off the top of a building, as they prepare to fire down at Hound and Cade. For good measure I send a wall of fire their way, engulfing them in flames as they fall to the ground below.

Flapping my enormous wings, I prepare to rise higher in the sky for another pass and, as I do so, I catch a glimpse of Elita engaged in battle. She is fierce, determined and brave with a strength belying her size. /Is it any wonder she held Prime's spark for so long and he mourned her apparent passing so deeply?/. For a moment, a sense of inadequacy and self-depreciation start to creep into my thoughts before I almost physically shake myself to banish them. /Knock it off Phoenix! Remember what Rachet said about jumping to conclusions? Although we have not yet had the opportunity to properly talk and clear the air, she was at least gracious enough to let me know that she was no longer in love with Prime/. At that thought, my spark pulses strongly in my chest and, despite the chaos below, I manage a small smile.

There is a flash of light before several explosions to the right of me catch me off guard. I give a loud scream of anger, not only at myself for my inattention in a battle zone, but at the pain that slams into me from red-hot pieces of shrapnel lodging into my right shoulder. A scowl forms on my face and I bank around to try and locate the offender.

Seconds later, two 'Cons on the ground come into view. They are preparing to launch another volley of missiles at me. Giving another loud screech of anger and irritation, I dive swiftly, tucking my wings up beside me to fit between the buildings. Flames consume my form as I rapidly close the distance between myself and my quarry. Partially transforming, I free my arms and unsheathe my sword and sai.

At the sight of a such a creature bearing down upon them, enshrouded in flame, the two 'Cons turn to flee, and I bellow in anger at their cowardice. In seconds I am upon them, swinging the blade of my sword, slicing one in half and thrusting my sai into the chest of the other, impaling them.

Retracting my sword, I soar up into the air with the impaled Con, writhing around on my sai. Once above the buildings, I flap my enormous wings and pivot about, flicking my sai to rid it of the filth that clings to it. The body of the 'Con tumbles off, clutching at its chest and I immediately retract my sai and send a large fireball to envelope him.

The plummeting fireball smashes into another group of ''Cons as they swarm across the rooftop of a building and all are sent to the ground. I notice with great delight, Ironhide and Rachet finish them off. Flapping my wings once more, I continue on my path, soaring above the buildings, helping my friends where and when I can.

Black smoke swirls about me and embers rain down from the spot fires that have sprung up from various explosion as I circle back around to make my way towards Hound, Elita and Cade once again.

As I fly over the courtyard, something unexpected catches my attention and causes me to falter. What can only be described as a massive metallic Tyrannosaur comes looming into view as it crashes down the street, breathing fire and feasting on 'Cons as it goes. But that site, extraordinary as it is, is not what causes my spark to constrict and then pulse rapidly as it tries to leave its casing. My optics, are drawn to a flash of red and blue flame decals as the impressive figure rides atop the beast, brandishing a sword and destroying all who stand in their path.

/Optimus!/.

Though the world seems to be falling apart around me, all I can see is him. All I can feel is him. All I want is him! In that moment, I do not care about all that has transpired in the past five years, the hurt, the pain, the uncertainty, I just want to be with him again. I just need to hear his voice. Coming to a standstill beside Drift, he holds his sword aloft in victory as the beast breathes fire. In that moment, I make a decision.

::OPTIMUS!:: It is only one word I manage to speak through our private comm link, but into it I pour all of my love, all of my longing, all of my need, my uncertainty and all of my regret.

I watch as his helm snaps to the skies in desperate search of me, nearly falling off the beast as he does so. ::PHOENIX!:: I close my optics and drink the sound of his deep, baritone voice in, relishing the way it reverberates in my audials and around my spark. It is as though a warmth engulfs me, heating me from the inside out, soothing away the darkness and the cold that has clung to my soul for so long. He swings the beast about, seeking me out.

I screech out loud, a mixture of happiness and sorrow, as I swoop low from above the buildings, sailing towards him. So close! He raises his servo, straining to reach me. ::PHOENIX!:: he calls my name again as I sail over him, his voice once again washes over me and seeps into me.

I almost sob out loud as I flap my mighty wings once to rise above the buildings and prepare to circle back. As I bank around, I notice a large, ominous black spacecraft through the haze out over the harbour. It is powering steadily towards the city. I have not seen this ship before but the feeling in the pit of my tanks tells me whoever is on board that ship – is not friendly.

I give a growl of anger and frustration. All I want to do is head back to Prime, throw myself in his arms and never let go but once again, fate has other ideas. I hover on the spot, flapping my enormous wings as I deliberate on what to do.

A split second later, I screech an angry warning to my friends below as I swoop low over the streets again. ::Optimus! Be warned. A large craft approaches across the harbour. It does not look friendly:: I land atop the building opposite the street from Optimus, staring intently at him, longing to jump down and run to him. But I refrain. This fight is not yet over, the Seed is not yet safe. /The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, and especially the needs of one/. Annoyance and irritation bubble below the surface but I hold my position, using every ounce of restraint I can summon.

Below me, Prime returns my stare with equal ferocity. I can see the same indecision, the same battle at play in his optics as he fights the same urge, and it brings me some measure of comfort. With a loud growl of frustration, he tears his optics away from me, turning the Tyrannosaur around to face Cade and the other humans who have gathered on the ground near him amongst piles of burning rubble. Prime aggressively points his sword at Joyce, ''YOU!'' His voice is low and dangerous and something inside me shivers deliciously at the intensity in his voice.

"Who?'' Joyce asks confused and I feel flames dance along my frame at this arsehole's total lack of anything resembling shame.

''You!'' Cade grabs his arm and shoves him forward towards Optimus and I feel a sense of satisfaction.

''You! Step forward! Your science will be responsible for humanity's extinction!'' Optimus rises slightly off the beast's neck as he almost seems to lunge at the human below. His anger and irritation are palpable.

''Alright,'' Joyce holds his hands up in surrender. ''I know you are sensitive to this whole bio ethical di.. dilemia.''

'Maybe all he wants to hear you say is that some things should never be invented,'' Cade interrupts the stammering, pathetic attempt at an apology. /I really do like this guy!/.

The massive metallic beast lowers its enormous head, so it is mere feet away from Joyce before it roars, spittle flying over his face. As Joyce shrieks in utter fear, I chuckle to myself and the flames die down as I fold my wings closer to my side.

Prime continues to glare down at him for a moment before he addresses Joyce once again. ''We'll lead you out of the city,'' he urges the beast to turn about, ''get that Seed safely to the hills.'' The humans scurry away to carry out the order and Optimus begins to urge the beast down the street, presumably in the direction of safe passage out of the city.

I feel a look of confusion descend over my face. ::Optimus, wouldn't it be both safer and easier if I took the Seed, after all I….:: I did not get a chance to finish.

Prime whips the beast back around to face me so swiftly, the creature almost falls over. His optics latch onto mine, a fire burning within them. His voice erupts down the comm line with the same ferocity as that day he revealed the depth of his fears that I may be taken prisoner by the Decepticons. ::I KNOW WHAT YOU INTENDED TO DO PHOENIX AND YOU WILL NOT TOUCH THAT SEED! THAT IS AN ORDER!:: His whole body seemed to rise and fall with the strength of his emotions as he continued to stare at me.

Though we have been apart for over five years, our relationship, our friendship torn apart, raw, and damaged, I know what he is feeling. I stare back at him for a moment unable to speak. He seems to cycle air deeply through his intakes, his chest continuing to rise and fall as he struggles to maintain control of his emotions. He blinks his optics, speaking more softly than before. ::Phoenix, please. I will not have you put yourself in a position where I can lose you. Not…:: he pauses a moment and hangs his helm slightly. ::Not when I may have just gotten you back::

I flinch slightly at his use of the word ''may.'' He raises his helm again and looks me in the optics and although there is still some distance between us, I feel them upon me, boring into me, willing me to listen and understand what he is saying.

I nod my helm slowly as I calm the torrent of emotions within me, though I still cannot find my voice.

Some movement off behind Prime catches my attention as the humans find a car and begin to thread their way through the rubble towards Prime. The other large robotic dinosaurs have gathered about and a small smile breaks out on my dermas as I watch Jazz wave at me from atop a massive Triceratops. ''Heya Phoenix! Long time no see.'' I nod my helm in his direction and watch as Hound, Bumblebee, Drift, Dino, Crosshairs and The Wreckers also acknowledge me with a nod of their helms or a wave before they immediately transform and prepare to follow Prime's orders. They know there is a private conversation taking place between Prime and I that they are not privy to and they wait patiently for their leader and friend.

Below me, walking slowly towards the awaiting Autobots and Prime, strides Elita. She sends me a small smile of understanding before she too transforms. Prime's optics never leave me, ignoring all others but me and it is enough. Enough to keep me going, enough to give me hope and enough to keep me focused on what must be done.

::Very well Prime, understood:: I manage to find my voice. ::What would you have me do? Escort you all out of the city or stay and help Ironhide, Rachet and the others in whatever task you have assigned them?:: I unfold my wings preparing to take to the sky regardless of his request.

I hear the sigh down the comms. ::I would have you stay safe Phoenix!:: I feel myself rankle at the thought of sitting back while everyone else puts their lives at risk – especially him! Prime senses this and a small chuckle makes its way down the comm. ::Though I know it is pointless asking you to do so. Perhaps you can be our optics in the sky and protect us from above?:: There is a short pause before he speaks once more, a slight tone of mirth in his voice, ::as safely as possible that is::

The sound of my own teasing chuckle makes its way down the comm. ::As long as you heed your own advice Optimus Prime and stay safe, I think I can manage that request::

He stared at me a moment longer and began to raise his right servo up towards his chest before he seemed to change his mind and brought it back down by his side. Some of the cold that had banished at the sound of his voice began to seep into me again at his actions. I ex-vented deeply, trying to expel the negative thoughts that clamoured for attention. /Do not read into it Phoenix. You surely can not expect everything between you both to go back to what it once was straight away. Give it time. Give us time/.

::I will see you soon my Phoenix:: and with that he turned the lumbering beast around and rode off to lead the way out of the city.

As soon as he was out of sight, I beat my massive wings and launched myself into the air. I felt as though my spark wanted to burst out of its casing and travel in several different directions all at once and the only thing keeping it from doing so was my body. I felt lighter than air and stronger than ever - all because of him.

Author's Note: FINALLY! The moment arrived... from now on there will be much more OP and Phoenix interaction as we race, (read ''plod''), towards the conclusion... the drought is over! Thank you to anyone who stuck around and waited it out, your patience is appreciated. Hopefully in the end it will be worth it :-)