Author's note: Regarding last chapter there was a line that caused a lot of confusion. When McGonagall told Remus "or faking it, for those who know the truth about you" she was referring to the other teachers! Flitwick, Sprout, Slughorn, and Prewett! I had NO idea this line would ever be taken any other way so when I have time tonight I'll be going back and rewriting that line to make it clear she is meaning the teachers.

TW for brief mentions of wanting to self-harm, and fake emetophobia.

/\/\/\/\/\

It felt good to Remus to stay in the hospital wing overnight. He missed his friends, but it was still a much needed break away from having to be a person for a while. He did have nightmares all night, though; the images of his hurt friends filling his sleep, waking him up several times with cries of fear. Pomfrey tried giving him a dreamless sleep potion which only succeeded in making the nightmares have a sort of hazy, distant feel to them which… was sort've worse, really.

When he woke up Saturday morning, the horrors of Thursday still pressed down on him and the nightmares still clung to him. But it didn't seem quite as bad as it had the day before, and he thought he'd be able to deal with people.

Be able to deal with being a person.

"Remus!" his friends cried out when he went into the Great Hall for breakfast. They were sitting with the girls, who greeted him as well.

"I was worried you'd be gone for longer," Lily said, jumping out of her seat to hug him.

"It wasn't as bad as I th-thought it would be," he said, sliding onto the bench next to Peter. "It wasn't… g-good, but it wasn't… awful."

Sirius suddenly slithered under the table and popped back up on the other side, sitting between Remus and Peter, to Inkwood's annoyance. "Glad you're back," he said, elbowing Remus gently. Remus smiled, looking down at his plate as he began putting food on it.

"Very glad!" James said. "We have so much to do—"

"Like study?" Lily asked.

James laughed loudly. "Yeah, sure. That."

"The exams start Monday!" Colgate said.

James leaned in. "Ask me if I care."

"No, that is good actually," Lily said and everyone gave her a surprised look.

"It's good they're not studying?" Colgate asked.

"Yes," Lily said, batting her eyelashes at Potter. "Because hopefully that means he'll fail everything and be held back a year, and I won't have to have class with him next—ack!" She ducked as James flung a piece of bacon at her.

"For your information, I don't need to study," James said, puffing his chest out. "I naturally get my terrific grades!"

"And what grades are those?" Lily asked.

"Es, mostly," Remus supplied for James.

"I get Os," James grumbled.

Remus shrugged. "Not on your exams."

"Some of them," James said, reaching across the table to poke Remus. "The practical stuff, which is the important part. Sirius and I both more or less get Os on the practical side of thing! It's the stupid written stuff we don't do so well in. But the written stuff doesn't matter as much anyhow."

Lily rolled her eyes towards Remus. "Do you want to study together today?"

"Yes, please."

"Do you want to come too?" she asked Peter, who thought about it for a second then nodded. Colgate agreed, and Inkwood tugged at Sirius's sleeve until he agreed which meant James begrudgingly said he'd join them too. Lily made a face at that and gagged.

Not that it lasted long. About twenty minutes after they sat down in the library, James convinced Sirius to scarper off, telling Peter and Remus to find them when they were done being boring. Ten minutes later Inkwood left, with Peter and Colgate going off shortly after that. Lily and Remus stayed through lunch, taking a short break to leave the library in order to eat the snacks Lily had packed in her bag. Other than that, they stuck to the table, noses in books as they quizzed each other.

Aegis joined them in the afternoon and soon after that Bones appeared with Rivers. When the two of them saw the three friends studying, Bones asked if they could join.

"Even though I'm not part of your group thing," Rivers said after they all said they didn't mind.

"We're not doing our group thing right now," Lily pointed out. "Besides, you're welcome to join us for that."

After a little bit, it seemed like it was turning into Study Group as Buckling came in and asked if she could sit with them, and then Craft showed up not long after. At that point it was getting way too crowded for Remus to feel comfortable with at the moment (without the Marauders there) and he excused himself, retreating to the Gryffindor tower—or intending to.

Aegis excused himself too and followed Remus out. "I was wondering something…"

Remus paused, turning to face him. "Yes?"

"You… you didn't go back down, did you?"

"Huh?"

Aegis frowned, stepping closer to Remus. "You didn't return to the—the pit, did you? Yesterday? You missed supper and Lily said you were in the hospital wing at Study Group.

"Oh, no," Remus said. "No… I was having a relapse."

Aegis looked very relieved at that. It seemed as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "Thank Merlin. Not that it was a relapse, that is not good. I mean…" He pressed his fingertips against his temples. "I am not sounding right. It isn't good that you had a relapse and I am very sorry for that. It is only I was very concerned you had gone back down and… were harmed by… whatever that was."

"No, I haven't gone back yet."

"That is good, I—" Aegis stopped, eyes going huge. "Yet?"

"Er…" Perhaps he shouldn't have said that. "If I do, I won't go alone."

"Remus, I do not think you should go back there," he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "There is something very wrong with those tunnels. With that… whispering. It is… not right."

"I was trying to do research on what it might be, before the…" Remus trailed off, shivering slightly. Before the boggart stuff. Before Sirius's broken bone.

"Before?"

He sighed. "The boggart. It—I—I had a hard time."

"Oh, yes, you faced it Thursday?"

Remus shuffled in place, rubbing his forearm, part of him wanting to reach up into his sleeve to scratch at his skin to stop the icky feelings. "Yes. It didn't go well."

Aegis tilted his head. "I am sorry to hear that. At least you did face it, though. As I told you before, I did not. Not even with Professor Prewett, I was…" He trailed off, not finishing.

I wish I hadn't. "Maybe it's a boggart down in the tunnels," Remus half-joked. Aegis shot him a rather annoyed look. "Might be."

"Whispering?"

What if it was? What if the whispering was the sound of my friends wondering why I killed them? That was impossible, though. No way would it be a boggart, not at that distance and already transformed. He shifted his weight to his other foot, regretting ever mentioning the boggart. He wanted to forget about it, had to forget about it! "Well, if there is something down there that is alive, or close enough to alive to be in a book, I'll find it. After the exams, of course."

"I suppose you're going to ignore me saying you should avoid that place," he sighed.

"As I said, if I do go back down I won't go alone," he promised, suspecting if he told the Marauders that there was a tunnel maze they might be more interested.

They said goodbye then headed in different directions, and Remus distinctly heard Aegis mumbling about 'stupid, reckless Gryffindors'. Since Remus often felt he wasn't very Gryffindor-y, the phrase actually felt more like a compliment than anything else. Even if it was connected with stupidity.

/\/\/\

The rest of Saturday was spent studying as much as he could, avoiding spending more than a few seconds without keeping his brain occupied; every time he let his mind wander it went to all of that shit and started pulling him down into the darkness. So he kept himself as busy as possible. Including skipping supper, or almost doing so. He would have, if the Marauders didn't show up to drag him down to the Great Hall since he had missed lunch too.

"We're going to sneak into Hogsmeade tomorrow to get the ingredients we need for the potion," James whispered while they ate. "Want to come?"

"No thank you, I need to—"

"Study," all three of them chorused.

"It's fine," Sirius promised, tousling Remus's hair.

Remus sorta wanted to tell them about McGonagall taking him to the Three Broomsticks, but also didn't want to share the moment. It had been so nice, the two of them, McGonagall helping him—he liked it to be a memory for just him. Er, and Fawley, since she'd probably see it.

"Has Evans said anything about helping out?" Pete asked.

"She's still thinking about it, as far as I know," Remus replied, ignoring James's loud retching sounds.

Sirius bent in close. "If she doesn't want to help we could use some bug bombs to help supply bugs!"

"Ew!" Peter moaned. "Yuck! No! Gross! You want bugs crawling all over the tables right before we eat?"

"It couldn't be worse than having to look at Evans," James said, stopping his fake sick sounds in order to insult her. "I'd rather the bugs."

That caused Peter to start snickering. "Remember when she turned your noodles into worms?"

Sirius, Peter, and Remus all laughed while James scowled, angrily adjusting his glasses. "I hate all of you. Though speaking of Evan—"

"If you insist on insulting her more, I'm going to go back to my dorm," Remus said.

James grunted. "No. I'm not planning on insulting her at this moment. I was going to ask, have you borrowed those Muggle albums from her yet? It's been… what, over a week? You haven't said anything."

Remus froze, his fork halfway to his mouth. "Er, n—no… you—you haven't said anything either so I assumed you had forgotten about it."

"Nah, we were waiting for you," Sirius explained. "Since you're so busy studying, we didn't want to bother you too much. We figured we were harassing you enough with talking about the prank, we didn't want to stress you out more. Isn't that right, James," he added darkly.

James spread his hands out. "What? I couldn't wait any longer, I want to hear that song!"

He put his food in his mouth, chewing thoughtfully as he took this news in. After he swallowed he said, "I'll ask." He'd have to ask David though, since Lily didn't have Sweet Caroline.

Luckily shortly after curfew David and Spinnet showed up then Spinnet went to get a shower, and Remus was able to ask David about possibly borrowing at least Sweet Caroline since the others wanted to hear it. His reaction was similar to Lily's: surprise that two purebloods wanted to hear it. Remus explained about how he had been humming it and he and Peter wound up singing it, and the song intrigued them.

David went to his trunk, going through his albums till he found the right one. Touching You, Touching Me. He nervously handed it to Remus who solemnly promised to not let any of the others touch it, as well as not letting it leave the room. He thanked David several times before going back to his studying.

/\/\/\

All four Marauders slept in a little late on Sunday morning, since they had all been up very late. James and Sirius with sneaking around the school till three in the morning, Remus and Peter from sitting in the common room to watch the door while they studied together. Once morning came, they asked Remus again if he was positive he didn't want to go with them and Remus nodded, staggering a little under the awkwardness of his satchel which had tons of books shoved into it; it was almost splitting the seams. He needed to be more careful.

"And you don't need to get me anything!" he shouted after them when they split apart on the fourth floor.

Suspecting they'd ignore him, Remus sighed as he made his way to the library. When he went in Farrow saw the bulging satchel and suggested gently that Remus think about getting one with lightening spells on it. Remus realized he probably should act more like the weight of the books was an issue.

"Yeah, I—I'd like to get one even—eventually," he said and staggered off, hoping the sounds he made were befitting someone so small having trouble hauling so many heavy books. Curses and blast it, he thought, slumping into a seat. I'm getting so slack. Farrow hadn't really seemed too suspicious, but Remus knew he needed to be very careful. More aware of what he was doing—or rather, more aware of what other people might see. When he went to get more books to study from he made sure he was obviously having trouble carrying the giant stack.

Unfortunately while the stack wasn't too heavy for him, it was very large and unwieldy. He rested his chin on top of the stack and was bending back a little as he walked, not really paying attention to where he was going and subsequently ran right into someone. Both went to the floor, sending all of Remus's books everywhere. Almost immediately someone else began laughing.

"I'm s-s-so sorry!" Remus stammered out, rolling onto his knees to gather up the scattered books. "I—I am so sor—sorry!"

"It's not your fault, I wasn't looking either!"

He saw two sets of hands helping and glanced up. They were two third year boys, both of whom were familiar. The fair-haired boy dredged up the memory of when Remus and the girls were painting their faces but he wasn't sure why… Oh! he thought, figuring it out. He's the one who was staring at me. The other one, the bigger one with straight brown hair was… well, he couldn't remember his name though he thought he had heard it. Glancing to the side he saw the person laughing was Weasley, a person he'd never forget due to first meeting him in that… particular detention with Dedenne almost a year ago.

"Bloody brilliant," Weasley said, clapping.

"Shut up, you're going to get us kicked out," hissed out the brown-haired boy.

Remus and the two boys helping him all stood up. "I r-r-really am—very—"

"It's all right," said the fair-haired boy. "As I said, I wasn't paying attention."

Remus held out his arms for the books but the brown-haired boy looked at them. "We'll help you carry them to your table," he offered.

"Oh. Er. A—all right…"

He led them a few aisles away, dumping his books on the table. The two boys followed suit while Weasley trailed after them, still snickering over what happened. "Fuck, that's a lot of books," he said when he saw the table.

"You think two books are a lot of books," said the fair-haired boy.

"Can you even count to two?' inquired the brown-haired boy.

Weasley smiled as he extended his middle finger at both of them. Then made a surprised face as he extended his other middle finger. "Wow, would you look at that! I can count to two!"

The brown-haired boy (Frank? Wait, is his name Frank? Bottom? Remus wondered) laughed. "I don't want to see how you count to three."

Weasley and the fair-haired boy both burst into very loud laughter, and then Remus went a little red as he realized what the brown-haired boy meant. He pressed his lips together, trying not to snicker. He wanted to laugh, except it felt very strange to be laughing with three strangers. Especially since Farrow popped out from seemingly nowhere and began threatening them.

"Out!" he snarled, pointing his finger. "If you can't behave in here, you cannot stay! I've told you this a thousand times before, Weasley! Why can't you be like your brother?"

"Which brother?" Weasley asked cheerfully. "The weirdo, the loony, the knobhead, or the dullard? I'm assuming you mean the dullard, though I suppose the knobhead's a possibility."

Farrow looked exceedingly annoyed. Remus was worried he'd be kicked out too, but Farrow just shooed the three third years out, ignoring Remus.

Only when he was alone did he fold his arms on the table and laugh as quietly as he could into them over the count-to-three thing.

/\/\/\

James and Sirius both roared with laughter when Remus recounted the story that evening, though Peter had to have the joke explained.

"One," Sirius said, holding up a middle finger. "Two." He held up his other middle finger. "And three would be the cock."

"Oh." Then his eyes went huge. "Oh!" He covered his face while the others laughed, even Remus though he knew he probably shouldn't laugh at Peter's embarrassment like that. But then Pete began laughing too. "Bloody hell."

"I am absolutely using that," Sirius said, falling back into his bed, clutching his stomach as he tried to gasp for air.

"What, your cock?" James joked.

"I'd hope so!" Sirius giggled. "I'd be a bit concerned if I didn't."

Remus ducked his head as he dumped his books onto his bed, trying not to feel overly heated by that statement; he really didn't want to think about… that sort of thing. Especially not regarding Sirius.

"Which boys are they?" James asked, sitting on Remus's bed and picking up one of the books.

"Um, Weasley is one of them," Remus replied.

"Younger or older?" Sirius asked.

Remus was a bit confused by that statement until he remembered there was a much older boy who looked a lot like Weasley. A sixth or seventh year. "Younger, I think. Third year."

"Quinton Weasley. He's always with Longbottom and O'Kelley," Sirius remarked. "They're not as bad as we are, but apparently they do get into a bit of trouble-making."

Longbottom, that's it, Remus thought as put the sweets his friends had bought him away in his desk. When he opened the drawer he saw Neil Diamond with the guitar. "Oh, I—I borrowed the record, if you wanted to hear that."

James was on his feet instantly. "The Muggle one? The one with bums?"

"It isn't bums, it's music beats," Peter said.

"Yes, that one," Remus answered, jumping a little as James dashed past him to get his record player. Within a minute they were gathered about the player as Remus adjusted the needle, trying to find the right song.

Where it began… I can't begin to knowing. But then I know its growing strong. Was in the spring… and spring became the summer. Who'd have believed you'd come along… Hands… touching hands… reaching out… touching me… touching yooou! SWEET CAROLINE!

It took a lot of effort not to sing along to the song, though he and Peter both did the 'BUM-BUM-BUM' when it came time in the chorus. The second time the chorus came around James and Sirius joined in. When the song ended, James moved the needle back to play it again, this time all four of them singing.

After the third time listening to the song James wanted to hear more. "I didn't expect Evans to like this sort of music," he said as he picked up the album sleeve.

Remus jerked out, taking the sleeve carefully. "It—it's not Lily's, it's someone else and—and I promise nobody would touch it but me. Sorry."

"Who else do you talk to?" Peter asked then his eyes popped out as he covered his mouth while James and Sirius laughed. "Blimey, Remus, I—I am so sorry, I didn't—I didn't mean it like that—"

"It's fine," Remus promised. "I… don't really talk to many people outside you three besides Lily and Aegis." He wasn't sure if Dave wanted them to know his musical tastes. He knew they wouldn't care but—

Everybody's talkin' at me. I don't hear a word they're saying. Only the echoes of my mind.

Remus glanced up, realizing James had moved the needle again and the record was playing from the beginning.

People stopping, staring. I don't see the faces, Only the shadows of their eyes. I'm going where the sun keeps shining through the pouring rain. Going where the weather suits my clothes.

"I should probably put the album up," Remus said.

"Let's finish this song at least," Sirius said, poking him. "I want to hear Muggle music. I want to hear more!"

"Yeah, this is pretty neat," James agreed. "I like his voice."

Peter nodded. "Neil Diamond's real good."

"Which one did you say you liked?" Sirius asked, turning to Peter. "I said?"

Peter rubbed the back of his head. "Um, I am I Said is the—the title…"

Remus looked at the back of the sleeve. "It's not on here." Though judging by Peter's face, that was probably a good thing. Which made Remus even more curious about the song; obviously it was something deeply personal to him.

"Do you have any Muggle albums?" James asked. "Wait, Remy, you said you did?"

"Um, yeah. My—they're older though," he admitted. "Stuff from the fifties." He wasn't even a hundred percent sure if they were his albums, actually. His mum had 'given' them to him but he wondered if she'd allow him to bring them with him. They stayed in the living room, where the record player was. Maybe they weren't really his, maybe his mum had simply pretended to make him feel more… important or something. "I—I might be able to borrow from Lily though. After exams."

He carefully put David's record back in its sleeve, putting it in the desk until he could privately return it. Maybe if David knew James and Sirius were interested, he'd be more likely to play Muggle music more openly. That would be really nice.

James put a wizarding record on, bouncing over to his bed to play Wild Adventures with the other two while Remus sat at his desk studying. Written Potions tomorrow, he thought, chewing at his quill. At least he wouldn't have to worry about making his exam potion until Friday!

Knock-knock-knock!

All four boys looked at the door. Sirius unfolded his long legs and slowly went over, opening up. To everyone's shock Lily stood there.

"You need Remus?" Sirius asked.

"Actually I need all four of you," she said, pushing past him. She immediately tripped over a pair of pants on the floor. "Ew! Do you boys ever clean?"

James got up, folding his arms. "What do you want, Evans? With all of us? What could we possibly do to—"

"I came by to tell you I wanted to help," she said, kicking the pants aside. "With the prank." Everyone stared at her in disbelief, James especially. "What? Have I got it wrong? Remus said—"

"Yeah, no, yeah," James muttered, quickly messing his hair up. "That—uh, yeah. You're right. I mean, Remus—we—"

"Wow, the great James Potter rendered speechless," Lily giggled.

James scowled. "It's called I'm trying not to throw up seeing your face!"

Lily flipped her hair back. "Get used to it." With that she marched past them, hopping up onto Remus's desk. "Remus's invitation was honest? You want my help?"

"Remus wants your help," Sirius explained. "For his part. And we don't want Remus to… overexert himself."

Lily looked down at Remus. "Yes, you said illusion spells, right?" He nodded. "All right. I'm in."

"You can't say you're in unless we invite you properly," James snorted.

Lily swung her legs, giving James a smirk. "Haven't I been?"

"No."

"Fine then, invite me."

James began spluttering. "You can't—that's not—right, right. You're, er, officially invited to help us. There. Now you're in, since I've said."

Lily smiled. "I'm an honorary Marauder?"

"NO!" James screamed, face darkening. "NO WAY! YOU CAN'T CALL YOURSELF THAT!"

Sirius looked quite furious too, though Peter was burying his face into James's pillow to hide his amusement.

"You have those B nicknames don't you?" Lily asked, ignoring James. "Brains and all that? Can I have one too?"

James began rolling his sleeve up. "Oh, I sure as hell have a B name for you, you b—"

"James!" Remus pushed his chair back, standing between his two friends before this turned violent. He held his hands up, in case James did try rushing over to attack her! "She's just trying to wind you up."

James stood there, sparks practically coming from his eyes as Lily began giggling. Sirius stepped forward, putting his hand on James's shoulder. "You're not an honorary Marauder and you don't get a nickname," he set resolutely. "If you don't want to help us because of that, that's your choice."

Lily hopped off of Remus's desk. "I honestly don't care. Frankly, I don't want to be associated with your gang. Not like that. I certainly don't want a nickname. I do, however, want to help Remus out. I think joining in on a big prank would be fantastic fun. As long as it's all done after the exams—"

"I swear if I hear 'after the exams' one more time," James grumbled. "It's pretty much Remus's motto right now. OH! Wait no, I do have one condition for you helping us—"

"What?!" Lily put her hands on her lips. "A condition? For me to join you?"

Remus was hurtled back to October of their first year, when he reluctantly agreed to give Sirius, James, and Peter a chance, and Sirius had said there was a condition.

"Yes. Lend us some of your Muggle music. After the exams," he added in a mimicky voice.

Lily gave Remus a glance and he was a little worried she'd say she had already let him borrow some. "You want to hear Muggle music?" she asked, facing James again and looking at Sirius too.

"We listened to some tonight," Sirius said pleasantly. "It was very good."

"Hmm. I see. Well, fine, but I get to choose which albums," she said.

James studied her carefully. "Fine."

"Great!" She clapped her hands happily. "Now, what is the prank? Remus never told me anything."

They sat down to tell her, James and Sirius laying out all the ideas and what they already figured out. They explained the potion, stating James and Peter would be making it, and that Remus and Lily were to make the insects. Lily took this all in, nodding as the boys spoke. When they finished she said she was fine with that, and doing the illusionary bugs should be fine.

Then Lily turned back to Remus. "We should do giant bugs. Huge butterflies and dragonflies and bees!" She stretched her arms way out. "OH!" With that she looked at the others. "Could you make the plant life enormous? Make it look like… everyone has shrunk! Oversized flowers, giant leaves as big as carriages, that sort of thing!"

"Hey-hey-hey!" James looked down his nose at her. "This is our prank, and we—"

"That'd be neat though," Sirius mused and James looked absolutely betrayed. "I don't know if there's a way to do it but I think that would be more… interesting. Huge flowers, enormous mushrooms. Imagine a—a Hagrid-sized slug crawling around!"

"I like that too," Peter said, speaking up for the first time since Lily had shown up.

James looked aghast, slowly turning his gaze to Remus who reluctantly admitted he agreed, he thought making everything enormous would be a lot more fun.

"Operation Overgrowth," Sirius said, sliding his hands through the air as if picturing a huge sign.

James shook his head. "We already bought the ingredients, or have you forgotten our trip into Hogsmeade already?"

"Hogsmeade?" Lily looked intrigued. "You snuck in?"

"None of your business, Red. My point is, the ingredients are purchased so we can't change our plans now."

Remus rubbed his chin in thought. "Er, well, even if we do enormous plants throughout the Great Hall I think it would make it much more… pop! if there's a background of regular-sized growth on the walls. It will make it look even better."

"I think we should go for it," Sirius said. "Operation Overgrowth."

James narrowed his eyes. "You just want to use the name."

"Yeah?" Sirius grinned. "So what if I do? Who's for Double-O? Say aye!"

"Aye!" Peter said.

"Aye," Remus agreed.

"Oh, aye!" Lily giggled.

Sirius arched his eyebrows at James who covered his face. "Aye, you traitorous wanker."

"The 'ayes' have it," Sirius said, and Lily looked immensely pleased with herself. Sirius darted over, wrapping arms around both Lily and Remus's neck, yanking them in. "Course that's if the brains can figure out how to do it."

"Leggo!" Lily squealed, arms flailing. "You stink! Do you ever shower?!"

Sirius let go of Remus to wrap Lily in a proper headlock, giving her a noogie. "You wanted to be one of the guys, didn't you? OW! YOU BIT ME!"

Lily extracted herself from Sirius, wiping her mouth off though looking quite triumphant. "Disgusting. I'm out of here. Remus, we can discuss the giant plants later this week, all right?"

"Yeah, that's fine."

Lily shot James another look before leaving. James gave her the two finger salute then whirled around, demanding to know why they had let her come in and take over the prank. Sirius pointed out she hadn't taken over the prank, merely added onto it to make it more interesting. The two of them began arguing while Remus dug out his earplugs to lessen the noise while he studied. Soon he noticed James and Sirius rolling around on the floor fighting but it didn't seem very intense, more playful than anything else. Glad that Lily hadn't caused any major problems, Remus dove back into his books.