Chapter 145
AN: Thank you for the support. I really hope you like this chapter.
While Penelope is leaving Stephen and Joy in confusion Emily and JJ are in the kitchen at the BAU getting coffee. As they get their coffee JJ notices Emily putting both extra caffeine and extra sugar in her coffee.
"Struggling with double duty?" JJ asks amused.
"It's different, that's for sure," Emily admits. "I mean I'm loving every second, but it's hard," Emily admits. "Connor had a nightmare the night before last, and last night Casey kept waking up," Emily admits. "But she also laughed for the first time and that was…."
"Incredible," JJ supplies, realizing that Emily is the incredible moms she knew she would be all those years ago.
"Beyond incredible," Emily says. "I sent a video of her laughing to Pen, hoping it would help her," Emily admits.
"How's she doing?" JJ asks, clearly worried for her friend.
"Not great," Emily admits. "I really wish I could help her more," Emily admits.
"Emily, if I know one thing about you and Penelope it's that you help each other in a way none of the rest of us can understand. When you were in London, you helped Penelope, and I know she helped you, so I know you're helping her now," JJ assures her friend.
In San Francisco Penelope is in the visitor room at San Quinten. Even though she isn't completely sure it's a good idea, she knows that it is what she truly wants to do. Having looked at a picture of her, Emily, and their family, before heading into the jail Penelope feels a little stronger.
"I'm Penelope Prentiss, formally Garcia," Penelope says to the man who is about her age.
"Jesse," Jesse says. "That night outside the police station, I was drunk, but I remember you," Jesse admits.
"Your sister called me," Penelope explains.
"I told Colette not to. She asked you to come, didn't she?" Jesse asks.
"No, I came here because I wanted to," Penelope explains. "Because I wanted to tell you to your face I'm going to your hearing today and I'm telling them that you need to stay in prison because of what you did, because of what you took from me," Penelope explains.
"I know," Jesse says.
"No. no, you don't know," Penelope says, becoming upset. "You don't… you have zero clue about what you did," Penelope says, becoming even more upset. "There is a hole inside of me that nothing can ever fill because of that night, and you've been leaving flowers on their graves. That is the grave you put them in!" Penelope says, becoming more upset. "Like anything you could do could make any of this a little bit better. You… you can't," Penelope says, her voice breaking once more.
"No. I can never make up for what I did," Jesse admits. "I suppose it's my guilt that makes me send them. I made a mistake that night because I was stupid. Everyone makes mistakes, but…" Jesse starts to say.
"Not like that," Penelope says sadly.
"I deserve to be where I am, and this place makes it hard to forget that," Jesse admits. "Prison bars are the last thing I see before I close my eyes and the first thing I see when I open them," Jesse explains.
"So, this is the part where you say prison has made you a better man and all you need is a chance to prove it?" Penelope asks, a level of disbelief to her voice.
"No. the only thing I want is a chance to go back to that night, to make a better choice," Jesse explains.
"We have that in common," Penelope admits.
"It's not your fault," Jesse says, sounding confused. "You didn't do anything wrong. It's my fault," Jesse says. "And I know that this doesn't bring your parents back, and it probably won't give you any comfort, but… I'm truly sorry," Jesse admits, and Penelope finds herself believing him.
"Attention, please, visiting hours are now over," the PA system says. "Inmates, return to your cells,"
"I won't send the flowers anymore," Jesse says before heading back to his cell.
At Quantico Emily and Rossi are in her office, discussing the case, when Emily's phone rings. Once she sees who is on the caller ID she quickly answers.
"Hey you," Emily answers, smiling slightly as she is glad to hear from her wife.
"Em," Penelope says, and as soon as she does the smile disappears from Emily's face.
"Pen, what's wrong?" Emily asks concerned, knowing that the parole hearing hasn't happened yet.
"What's going on?" Rossi asks, also sounding concerned.
"Pen, I'm with your Dad, do you mind if I put you on speaker?" Emily asks her wife.
"Sure," Penelope says.
"What's going on, Kiddo?" Rossi asks.
"I went to see Jesse in prison," Penelope reveals.
"Oh Pen," Emily says, feeling concerned about her wife.
"Kiddo, why? Why would you go see him?" Rossi asks.
"I wanted to tell him that I was going to speak at his hearing and say that he should stay in jail, but now I'm not sure," Penelope asks.
"Not sure you're going to speak or not sure you're going to recommend that he stay in jail?" Emily asks her wife.
"Both, neither, I don't know," Penelope admits. "I don't know what to do," Penelope admits.
"Follow your incredible heart Babe," Emily tells her wife. "It won't steer you wrong," Emily tells her.
While Emily and Rossi are in Emily's office on the phone with Penelope JJ, Luke and Matt are in the roundtable room together working on the case.
"Okay, so these are the business loan applications that Serena handled over the last six months," JJ says.
"And those are the ninety loans she approved, and these are the thirty applications she rejected," Luke says, referring to the various files.
"Well, did they bank send electronic files too?" Matt asks curious.
"Yeah," Luke confirms. "I thought about calling Garcia, but I know that she's got a big day today with the parole hearing," Luke says.
"Well, it may take the three of us to equal one Penelope, but let's do our own digital dig," JJ says and they get to work.
A little while after she spoke to her wife and Father Penelope is back at San Quinten, but this time Joy and Stephen, who are sitting either side of her, are with her and they are in the room with the parole board.
"Mrs. Prentiss, we understand you'd like to make a statement for the record," the Commissioner says.
"You've got this," Stephen tells Penelope and she walks up to the podium.
"Hello. My name is Penelope Prentiss. I am a technical analyst at the FBI," Penelope says. "Thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak in front of you today," Penelope explains. "I want the full impact of Jesse Wilson's crime to be brought to your attention," Penelope explains. "When I was eighteen, my mother and stepfather Debra and Santiago Garcia were killed by Mr Wilson's careless and selfish deeds. It was the worst day of my life," Penelope says, looking at Joy and Stephen, knowing that the day she thought Emily 'died' and for a long time after that was even worse. "And I will never stop missing them," Penelope admits, and she knows what she has to do. "But… morning the lives that might have been won't bring them back, and neither will keeping Jesse Wilson behind bars," Penelope says.
"Rossi, what are you doing?" Stephen asks shocked, and angry.
"Quiet, please or you'll be removed," the Commissioner says.
"Ever since that night I've had this cloud of… rage, and pain, and guilt, and I couldn't bear it, and I needed a place to focus it, and I focused that whole cloud on Jesse," Penelope says, before turning to look at Jesse. "I needed to demonize you. I'm so scared to see you as a real person, because if you're not the monster in prison, then who do I have to blame?" Penelope asks. "My mom and Santiago taught me that a big part of love is forgiveness," Penelope explains, remembering that it was a huge part of the reason why she was feeling conflicted when she wasn't talking to her father. "Jesse has told me he's sorry for what he's done, and I do believe him," Penelope admits. "I will never forget the past. But moving on is important too," Penelope says. "It is, and… and that's why I am here before you today, asking that the board forgive Jesse, as I have, and grant him parole," Penelope requests. "Thank you," Penelope says.
"We'll now recess for deliberation," The commissioner says, and once he does Stephen goes running out of the room, causing both Penelope and Joy to follow him.
"GIDEON!" Penelope yells. "GIDEON TALK TO ME!" Penelope yells.
"How the hell can you do this Rossi?" Stephen asks, turning back around, sounding furious.
"It was the right thing to do," Penelope tells him.
"And it was Penelope's choice to make," Joy says.
"No!" Stephen exclaims. "You do not get to say that! You may be Penelope's sister, but you weren't there twenty-two years ago!" Stephen exclaims. "You didn't know Debra and Santiago! You don't know half of the things we went through!" Stephen exclaims. "I can't even look at you right now, Rossi," Stephen says before walking away, and as he does Joy can see that Penelope is becoming upset and so she puts her arm around Penelope.
While Joy is putting an arm around Penelope with one arm she uses her other hand to pull her phone and call Emily.
"Joy? What's going on?" Emily asks concerned as she answers as she was expecting a call from Penelope so for Joy to be the one making the call then it's bad.
"Penelope recommended release; Stephen took it... I'd say badly is an understatement," Joy admits.
"Pass the phone over," Emily requests, and Joy does just that. "Hey Babe," Emily says to Penelope.
"Em, he's so angry," Penelope reveals, her voice breaking.
"Oh Pen, it will be okay," Emily assures her wife, very much wishing she could hug Penelope and hold her close; take away her pain.
A while after Stephen walked away from Penelope and Joy the two of them are arriving back at the house where Shawn is waiting for them.
"What's going on?" Shawn asks, as Penelope and Joy walk into the house.
"What do you mean?" Joy asks, not understanding how Shawn would already know that something is going on.
"Stephen was here not that long ago, he grabbed his stuff and left, without a word," Shawn explains, and before Penelope or Joy have a chance to answer Kai comes running into the room.
"Aunt Penny play with me?" Kai asks.
"Sure Kai let's go out the back," Penelope says and she goes out the back with her nephew.
"Okay, what the hell happened?" Shawn asks his wife, feeling incredibly confused, and Joy starts to explain everything that happened at the Parole Board.
As Penelope and Joy are arriving back at Joy's house to find Stephen gone the members of the BAU who are at Quantico are heading walking through the bullpen together. Due to the case being solved relatively early in the day they are all leaving the BAU relatively early.
"Do either of you know how Garcia made it out at the parole board hearing?" Luke asks, looking between Rossi and Emily, assuming that one of them know.
"Yeah. She petitioned the board to release Jesse Wilson," Rossi explains.
"I wonder what changed her mind," Matt comments, as even after all the years he has known Penelope he didn't see that one coming.
"Forgiveness," Emily says, knowing that because she knows her wife.
"That sounds like the Penelope we all know and love," Rossi comments.
"Absolutely," JJ confirms. "So, we'll see her tomorrow," JJ comments.
"No, she's taking another day," Emily admits. "There is something she needs to do," Emily reveals, as they walk into the elevator.
As the team ride down in the elevator Emily gets a message from Joy explaining what else happened with Stephen.
"See you tomorrow," JJ says as the group walk out of the elevator and starts to go their separate way.
"Tara, Matt, can I have a minute?" Emily requests and while the rest of the team walk away, they stay behind.
"Stephen didn't react well to Penelope petitioning for release, right?" Matt asks, as that's what he assumes, because he knows his friend.
"That's an understatement," Emily admits. "He told Pen that he couldn't even look at her, and when Pen and Joy got back to the house Shawn said that Stephen got his stuff and left without a word," Emily explains.
"Have they ever fought like this before?" Tara asks shocked.
"They've barely ever fought," Matt explains.
"I was hoping one, or both, of you could talk to him. Help him understand why Pen did what she did," Emily explains.
"I'll try but there is no guarantee he'll listen," Tara says. Really not wanting to be put in the middle between her friend and boyfriend.
"I know, I appreciate you trying," Emily admits. "Look, Pen is my priority, but I also care about Stephen, and I know that they both need each other, and so this isn't good for either of them," Emily says.
"You don't have to tell me," Matt says, knowing that all too well.
"I should go, I've got to pick up the kids," Emily says, before walking away from Matt and Tara.
A while after she walked away from Tara and Matt Emily have had an enjoyable night with the kids, though she couldn't help but think about Penelope, and now that the all the kids are asleep Emily sits down in bed and uses her tablet to video call Penelope.
"Hey you," Emily says when Penelope answers.
"Hey you," Penelope says, and right away Emily realizes something.
"You've been crying," Emily realizes, hating that.
"Yeah. I tried calling Gideon, he won't answer," Penelope explains.
"Oh, I'm so sorry Babe," Emily tells her. "He probably just needs some time Pen," Emily says.
"I don't want to talk about it," Penelope says, and Emily feels her heart sink as she knows that when Penelope internalizes things it doesn't end well. "How are the kids? How was tonight?" Penelope asks, clearly changing the subject.
"Good," Emily says, and planning on talking to Penelope more when she gets home, Emily explains what happened with the kids.
As she found out what time Stephen's flight got in Tara is waiting outside Stephen's door when he walks up.
"Hey," Stephen says, greeting Tara with a hug and a kiss.
"Hey," Tara responds as they break apart, and Stephen opens the door.
"Emily told you what happened?" Stephen asks.
"She did, and she asked me to talk to you," Tara admits, and because Stephen looks like he is about to say something she starts speaking again. "But I would have done that anyway once I found out what happened because I'm worried about you," Tara admits, as they walk over to Stephen's couch and sit down. "Why did you react like this?" Tara asks curious, and Stephen looks hesitant. "Stephen, you can always talk to me; I care about you, and right now I'm worried," Tara admits. "I know what Penelope means to you, so I know you must be feeling pretty hurt right now; and I just want to help you," Tara explains to her boyfriend.
"When I was seven my mom was killed," Stephen tells Tara. "An Unsub cut the break lines of the car, but she wasn't the target, he was trying to kill my dad," Stephen explains.
"I am so sorry," Tara says, understanding so much more about Stephen's behavior.
"It always felt like Rossi and I went through our mother's deaths together; only ten years apart," Stephen admits. "Our Dads weren't there for us, it was us against the world, so I don't understand how she could forgive him!" Stephen admits, anger in his voice. "I never got to face the man who killed my Mom, and I can't imagine ever forgiving him," Stephen reveals. "I just don't understand how she could have done this," Stephen admits.
"The only one who can answer that is Penelope," Tara admits. "But maybe she felt like it was time to let go of the pain and anger," Tara suggests.
"I still don't understand," Stephen admits. "For so long that was all we had," Stephen explains, honestly feeling that along with their experiences growing up what bound them together was their shared pain, their shared anger.
"It doesn't have to be all you have," Tara says, reaching out and taking his hand, as they sit together.
The next morning Emily, who is very much looking forward to seeing Penelope again, is in the kitchen with the kids who are having breakfast.
"Is Penelope coming home today?" Maddie asks curious.
"Yep, she is, Mads," Emily confirms with a grin. "Which is why today I'm staying home with Connor and Casey, and I'll pick you, Kenz, and Noah up as soon as you finish school and we'll all go to the airport to great Penelope," Emily explains.
"Really?" Kenzie asks, looking excited.
"Really," Emily confirms.
"I am going to hug Penelope," Noah says.
"I think she's really going to like that," Emily says, looking amused, as the family continue breakfast.
In San Francisco after having breakfast with her sister, nephew, and brother-in-law Penelope has travelled to the cemetery to visit her mother and Santiago's graves.
"Hi Mom, hi Santiago," Penelope greats. "Mom, I brought your favorite flowers," Penelope says, as she puts the flowers down. "I know it's been a while, I'm sorry about that," Penelope admits. "The night that you died, I saw the note you left me, and I knew that you were disappointed in me, and I knew that I was in really big trouble," Penelope admits. "And I… I wished that you didn't come home," Penelope admits. "And then you didn't come home. And It and It was like that awful wish made it happen," Penelope explains, guilt clear in her voice. "And I'm so ashamed that I did that," Penelope admits. "I do feel like I live my life in a way now that you would be really proud of me, even if you didn't completely love how much I've taken after Dad," Penelope admits. "I hope you're really proud of me," Penelope admits. "I made a choice yesterday that I think was really good, but I messed things up pretty bad with Gideon, but it was a good choice, and, um… I think I know how to make things better," Penelope says, though she sounds uncertain. "I'm good at making things better. I just need a little time. I'll make things better with him," Penelope says, feeling determined about that. "I thought since it was such a glorious day that we would have a picnic," Penelope says, as she sets it up. "So, I have news, you're grandparents," Penelope says and she starts to explain all about the kids.
Hours later Penelope has been driven to the airport by Joy, who she is incredibly thankful for, and has flown back to Virginia. As they know that Penelope's plane has landed Emily, the kids, and Rossi are waiting at the airport for her.
"I don't see Penelope," Noah says from where he is standing between Emily and Rossi.
"You will soon," Rossi says, picking Noah up so that he can have a better view.
"I see her!" Maddie says excited.
"Me too!" Kenzie says, also sounding excited.
Just like the girls Penelope has spotted her family and so she hurries over to them. As soon as Penelope gets close Rossi puts Noah down on the ground and once he is on the ground he, Kenzie and Maddie hurry to Penelope and hugs her.
"Oh, I've missed you," Penelope says as she hugs each of the older kids and kisses each of their heads.
"Missed you too," Maddie says, and once Penelope breaks apart from her older kids she walks over to the pram where Connor and Casey are and kisses both their heads.
"I've missed you too," Penelope says to her wife, and the two of them kiss. After Penelope and Emily break apart Penelope walks over to her father and hugs him too.
"Welcome home, Kiddo," Rossi says to his daughter. "Let's get your bags and head home," Rossi says, and the family head out of the airport
Hours later Emily, Penelope, Rossi, and the kids have had dinner together, Rossi has headed home, and the kids are all in bed. As the kids are all asleep Emily is walking over to Penelope with two glasses of wine.
"I swear, they've gotten bigger, I know I've only been gone a few days, but I swear they're bigger," Penelope admits, as Emily sits down next to her.
"Casey maybe, but I don't think anyone else has," Emily admits, handing Penelope the wine.
"I've missed them soo much," Penelope admits.
"I know," Emily says.
"I can't believe I missed Casey laughing, but I'm really thankful for that video," Penelope admits.
"You don't have to thank me, I know you would do the same for me," Emily says, trying not to think about the fact that she will likely have to. "Do you want to talk about Stephen?" Emily asks curious.
"There's nothing to talk about," Penelope admits. "Gideon is hurt, I understand that," Penelope admits. "He's angry, upset, I did the one thing we promised we'd never do," Penelope explains.
"What do you mean?" Emily asks confused, as Penelope takes a drink, clearly debating about whether to answer.
"Spring break 1989," Penelope says, and Emily quickly searches her mind to see if Penelope has ever mentioned that time to her before and she realizes that she hasn't.
"You were eleven," Emily says.
"And Gideon nine," Penelope reveals. "Our Dads had been given mandatory time of so the four of were going to go away together," Penelope explains.
"I'm guessing it didn't happen," Emily assumes.
"Of course not," Penelope admits. "We were just about to leave from Dads house when the phone rang, they were both being called in," Penelope explains. "It must have been something important because everything became a rush. They had to get into the BAU so quickly that they just dropped us at Stephen's grandparents house," Penelope explains.
"And you spent Spring Break with them?" Emily asks.
"Not exactly," Penelope answers, to Emily's confusion. "It turned out that they, like Gideon and I, mistakenly assumed that Mandatory leave meant they would actually take it; so they went away too," Penelope explains.
"What happened to you and Stephen?" Emily asks worried.
"We found the spare key and went inside," Penelope explains. "We had had food, shelter, each other, we were good," Penelope explains.
"Why didn't you call your Mom?" Emily asks, knowing that Stephen was the same age as Kenzie and it hurts to imagine her in that situation.
"We thought that it might have just been a short case, and they'd be back soon," Penelope explains.
"But it wasn't," Emily realizes.
"They got back the day before I had to go back to San Fran," Penelope admits. "The last day of Spring Break," Penelope explains.
"I am so sorry, Babe, you must have been so scared," Emily says, reaching out and taking her wife's hand; feeling both pain for her wife and anger at Rossi and Gideon for being so careless.
"Only a little," Penelope says, with a shrug. "We looked after each other that week," Penelope explains, and Emily realizes something.
"You've told anyone this," Emily realizes.
"Gideon and I barely talk about it," Penelope admits. "We saw Matt more than once that week and he doesn't even know the truth," Penelope explains. "During the week Gideon and I promised each other that we'd always look after each other, that we'd always be there we need each other, that we'd never betray each other, and as far as he's concerned that's what I just did," Penelope admits.
"Oh Babe, you didn't," Emily assures her wife, as she moves so she can put her arms around Penelope. "You did the right thing. What you did was hard, and what you could live with, that's not a betrayal," Emily explains.
"Gideon's never going to see it that way," Penelope admits, as she starts to cry, and having no idea what else to say Emily just pulls Penelope in closer and holds her wife as she cries, desperately wishing she could take away Penelope's pain.