Chapter 150
AN: 150 chapters this feels beyond incredible; thank you so much to all who support me. I honestly can't say if chapter updates will be regular. My life sucks, everything sucks… enjoy this chapter.
Considering the kids slept in their bed the night before Emily and Penelope know that they need to talk to them about what happened. It's a lovely Sunday afternoon, and the kids, Penelope and Emily are retuning inside after spending most the morning outside.
"Kids, before you hurry upstairs, can you sit down please," Emily requests, and once she does the kids head over to the couch, Maddie and Kenzie exchanging looks as they do. Once the kids are sitting down Penelope and Emily walk over and sit down across from them.
"Is everything okay?" Maddie asks.
"We wanted to talk to you about what happened," Penelope admits, knowing that want is probably not the right term as she would rather not but she knows they should. Honestly, the only reason she is keeping it together is because of Emily's presence so she really doesn't want to dwell on what happened.
"It was scary," Noah admits.
"Yeah it was," Emily confirms, knowing she was definitely scared. "It's okay to admit that, to talk about it," Emily explains.,
"Were you scared?" Connor asks, looking at Penelope, and Emily is a little concerned about how she is going to answer that.
"Yeah, I was Bud," Penelope says. "But I knew that Mom and our team were coming for me," Penelope explains as she always knows that.
"As part of the jobs Mama and I do there are going to be times where things are scary. So, if you're every scared about something, or want to know more, all you have to do is tell us and ask any questions you may have," Emily explains.
"Where were you and Spencer taken?" Kenzie asks, looking at Penelope.
"A group of people had killed a lot of people," Emily explains, when it looks like Penelope isn't going to answer. "They wanted to hurt Spencer too, and they took Mama to make sure they got what they wanted," Emily says, and because she knows her wife so well Emily sees a brief look of guilt pass over her face, but she is also sure that the kids wouldn't have noticed.
"That's awful," Maddie says, before hugging Penelope.
After spending the rest of Sunday with their family Penelope and Emily retuned to work on Monday while Maddie and Kenzie returned to school. As they don't have a case at the moment Emily and Penelope got home relatively early and actually went to bed at a reasonable time.
A few hours after she and Penelope went to bed Emily is woken up. As that is not unusual these days, as Casey is still not sleeping though the night, Emily thinks nothing strange about it until she realizes that Casey is still asleep.
Feeling confused Emily tries to figure out what woke her up and she quickly realizes that Penelope is tossing and turning and muttering in her sleep.
"Pen, wake up," Emily says, putting her hand on Penelope's shoulder, and attempting to wake her up.
"Reid, no! Let me go," Penelope mutters as she tosses and turns, clearly in distress.
"Pen, it's okay, you're safe, please wake up Babe," Emily says, as she continues to try to get Penelope to wake up.
"LET ME GO!" Penelope yells, bolting upright and because of her yell she causes Casey to wake up and start crying.
"You're okay, you're safe," Emily assures her wife, as she moves so that she is right next to Penelope. "You're not being held anymore," Emily says, putting an arm around Penelope, as Casey cries.
"Em?" Penelope asks confused, leaning into the arm Emily has around her in an attempt to remind herself what is real.
"Yeah, you're safe, Pen, you're okay," Emily says kissing her cheek.
"I'm okay," Penelope says, almost like she is trying to believe it. "Casey," Penelope says, as her surroundings start to come into focus.
"I've got her," Emily assures Penelope, once more kissing her cheek, before she removes the arm she has around Penelope, gets up and walks over to Casey. "Hey Sweetheart, it's okay, it's okay, I've got you," Emily assures her as she starts to rock Casey back and forth. "Do you want to talk about your nightmare?" Emily asks, as she walks back over to Penelope, still carrying Casey.
"I should go make sure I didn't wake anyone else up," Penelope says, before getting up and heading out of the room, it being clear that she doesn't want to talk about her nightmare and so Emily just watches her go in concern.
After a second night of Penelope having nightmares that she refused to talk about, something which did not help the concern Emily is feeling for her wife. As they are working a case in the DC area Emily is taking Maddie and Kenzie to school.
As she drives Emily notices that Maddie is listening to music while Kenzie seems to be staring out of the window, which is a little surprising as recently Kenzie has taken to singing along with the radio which is why Maddie listens to her own music.
"Kenz? You okay?" Emily asks.
"Yeah," Kenzie says, but there is something she isn't saying.
"Is there something you want to talk about?" Emily asks curious, gently trying to get Kenzie to open up as while she has learnt that when it comes to Kenzie being gentle, and calm when trying to get her to open up works best. Kenzie on the other hand responds better to reassurance and stronger tones.
"Until you and Mama took us in I never a time where I felt safe in my bed," Kenzie admits, and Emily feels anger rise up inside of her. "They always made me scared, I was so scared of doing something that would set them off," Kenzie explains, and Emily feels the anger continue to rise, but she pushes that down as that's not what Kenzie needs.
"Kenzie, you know none of what happened to you, or your siblings, were your fault. You didn't deserve anything that happened to you; you didn't do anything wrong. You didn't do anything to cause the way you were treated," Emily explains to her daughter, wanting her to believe that.
"You and Mama are getting me to believe that," Kenzie admits. "When Mama was missing Mads asked me if the reason, I hadn't called you Mom was because I was scared of losing what we have now; and the truth is I was, I am," Kenzie admits. "Mom, I love the life I have now, but I'm still scared it's going to disappear," Kenzie admits.
"Kenz, I know what you've been through is awful, and I desperately wish that I could have gotten you away from that life sooner," Emily admits. "But I want you to know that Mama and I have no intention of going anywhere. As long as I have a say in the matter you and your siblings aren't going to go anywhere; nothings going to make the life we have together disappear," Emily assures Kenzie.
"I'm trying to believe that, it's just hard for me," Kenzie admits.
"I know, I wish it wasn't," Emily tells Kenzie, knowing she is going to do everything she can to get Kenzie to believe that.
After a day at work, and a night with the kids, Emily is tossing and turning in her bed, in the middle of a horrific nightmare that was reality a few days earlier.
"Penelope," Emily says, bolting upright in terror, a terror that is only added to when she realizes that Penelope isn't in bed. "Penelope?" Emily calls and she gets no response and so she quickly gets up and hurries into the bathroom, which she finds empty, and so after double checking to make sure Casey is asleep in her bassinet, she hurries out of the room.
With every second that passes Emily feels her worry intensive. As she heads towards the kid's bedrooms Emily realizes that the door to the upstairs secure office is open, and so hoping she'll find Penelope in there Emily's inside. To her complete relief Emily finds Penelope asleep in the chair. For a few moments Emily just watches her wife sleep, reassuring herself that Penelope is okay, before walking over to her.
"Pen," Emily says, getting to Penelope's side, and gently shaking her away. "Pen, wake up, Babe," Emily says as she squats down next to her.
"Em?" Penelope asks, as she opens her eyes.
"Yeah, hey you," Emily says. "What you are doing in here, Babe?" Emily asks curious as she knows they're not working a case.
"I couldn't sleep. I thought I would come in here and do some checks," Penelope explains, leaving out the fact that she spent a while watching Emily sleep first. "What about you?" Penelope asks.
"I woke up and you weren't there, I got worried," Emily admits. "Do you want to talk about why you can't sleep?" Emily asks curious.
"Not really," Penelope admits.
"Pen…" Emily starts to say.
"I'm okay, Amore, promise," Penelope says, and Emily isn't sure if she believes her. "I do want to show you something in this system though," Penelope says as she is trying to make things safer so it would be important for Emily to know.
"Sure," Emily responds, pulling over a chair so that she is not squatting on the ground, and Penelope starts to explain what she wants Emily to know.
Feeling pretty exhausted because she hasn't slept well for the last week, Penelope, who doesn't want Emily to keep worrying about her, is putting Connor to bed on a Friday night.
"You comfortable Bud?" Penelope asks.
"Yes!" Connor answers.
"How was daycare today?" Penelope asks curious as she had to stay at Quantico and finish up some things for the case Emily picked the kids up.
"Good," Connor answers. "I built a city, and I drew, and I listened to lots of stories. I like stories," Connor reveals.
"Yeah, me too," Penelope says, feeling a little impressed by how well Connor speaks now that is becoming less introverted. "Do you want to hear another story?" Penelope asks.
"Yes!" Connor says, excited. "One with heroes, and happy endings," Connor says.
"I think I've got the perfect story," Penelope says, moving so that she is sitting next to Connor, and she starts to tell a story of one of the BAU cases, being careful about making sure it wasn't a time where any of the team got hurt and also being careful about what parts she tells so that she doesn't traumatize him.
After the weekly therapy appointments Penelope, Emily and the kids have returned to the house. While Casey is taking her afternoon nap, Noah and Connor are playing in Noah's room, Kenzie is practicing her guitar, and Maddie is paining out on the back deck.
As they want a chance to talk about what Jane told them about how the kids are doing Penelope and Emily are in the front living room of their house.
"I'm really glad the kids are doing better," Penelope admits.
"Me too," Emily admits, putting her arm around Penelope. "They've all still got a long way to go, but I'm relieved that things are better," Emily admits. "I just wish you were," Emily says.
"What are you talking about?" Penelope asks, turning to look at Emily confused.
"Pen, it's been a week since you've gotten a full night's sleep," Emily tells her wife. "And you haven't talked about what happened," Emily explains.
"I don't have to, it's not exactly the first time I've been abducted," Penelope reminds Emily.
"That doesn't mean you don't have to talk about it," Emily tells her wife. "You're not okay, Babe. I am here, talk to me," Emily requests.
"I don't need to," Penelope says, not even believing her own words. "I should go check on Mads, and get started on movie night snacks," Penelope says, getting up and heading out of the room. As Emily watches her wife go, she can't help but sigh as usually this would be when she gets Stephen to try to talk to Penelope, but considering he is refusing to do so that's not an option. So instead, Emily knows she has to just keep trying to get Penelope to talk.
After their weekly movie night, in a cause of events that have become all too common over the last week, both Penelope and Emily were woken by Penelope's nightmares which she refused to talk about. It's early Sunday morning and while Penelope is getting ready Emily, who has already dressed and has even left the house already to get something, is downstairs on her phone.
"So, you don't think a big dinner is a good idea?" Rossi, who Emily is on the phone with, asks.
"I really don't," Emily admits. "I think just the three of us and the kids would be best," Emily reveals. "Pen's not okay, Dave, but she won't admit that; and I'm really trying, but I don't know if I'm helping," Emily admits, sounding frustrated as well as pained.
"I'm sure you are," Rossi says as he believes that. "So, I'll come around about six?" Rossi asks, and as he does Emily hears Penelope's footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Sounds good, I've got to go," Emily says, before hanging up, and seconds later Penelope who is carrying Casey, walks into the kitchen. "Morning," Emily greats.
"Morning," Penelope says, and Emily walks over to her wife, hiding something behind her back as she goes.
"So, the kids have made me promise not to give you presents until they were awake, but I thought I would give you one anyway," Emily explains.
"Em, you didn't have to…" Penelope starts to say, but then before she can finish Emily shows Penelope her favorite coffee from her favorite place. "Unicorn coffee, you must have been there before they opened," Penelope says amazed.
"I may have been," Emily admits, handing the coffee over. "Happy Birthday, Babe," Emily says, before kissing her wife.
A little while later the kids are awake, and while Penelope is feeding Casey Emily and the older kids are making breakfast; or at least attempting to.
"That looks a little runny," Kenzie says to Emily in a quite voice.
"It's fine," Emily responds, as she is pretty sure that it's fine, and Maddie tastes the mixture.
"It's nice," Maddie responds.
"Good," Emily says, and she and the kids continue to make breakfast together.
Ten minutes later Emily and the kids have made breakfast that looks really good, and as it is a special occasion, they are having breakfast in the dining room rather than the kitchen.
"Happy Birthday Mama," Kenzie, Maddie, Noah and Connor says as Kenzie places the food in front of Penelope while Maddie, Noah, and Connor all put the presents down.
"Thank you, thank you so much," Penelope says, before hugging each of her kids, feeling overwhelming joy. "Thank you," Penelope says, looking at Emily, as she also feels overwhelming love towards her wife, who she is constantly thankful for, and Emily just nods and smiles.
For the rest of the day Penelope has an incredible birthday with her wife and children, a day which ends with having dinner with them, and her father. For Penelope it is such an incredible day, that not even her now common nightmares put a damper on it.
The next morning Penelope and Emily get information about a case and so Emily takes the kids to school while Penelope takes Casey, Connor and Noah to daycare/early learning. Having just finished explaining the case to the rest of the team Penelope and Emily are left alone in the roundtable room. Honestly, Emily is feeling more than a little concerned because this is the first time, she will be working a case away from DC since Penelope's abduction.
"I told the girls we could go out for Pizza Friday night to celebrate the end of the school year, if I'm not back in time…." Emily starts to explain.
"I'll make sure it happens," Penelope assures her wife. "But what about Sunday?" Penelope asks concerned.
"Even if I have to fly back commercially, I'll make it," Emily assures Penelope as there is no way she is going to miss Noah's birthday.
"Good," Penelope says, smiling slightly.
"Pen…" Emily starts to say.
"I'm okay, Amore," Penelope tells Emily in a soft voice, knowing exactly what Emily is going to say.
"No, you're not, but you won't talk to me, and I get that Pen, but I wish you would" Emily says, a level of frustration to her voice. "I'll video call the kids as much as I can," Emily assures her wife as she walks over. "And no matter the time, day or night, or no matter what I'm doing, even if it's chasing down an unsub, if you need me, Babe, I'm just a call away," Emily assures Penelope.
"I know, Amore, I've always known," Penelope assures Emily. "I don't want to talk about my nightmares, because I don't want to think about them," Penelope admits. "I love you, stay safe," Penelope tells her wife, knowing they are short on time.
"I love you," Emily responds, and the two of them kiss. Once Penelope and Emily break apart Emily heads out of the roundtable room feeling more nervous than she's felt in a while about leaving on a case.
Two days have passed since Emily left on the case and in that time, Emily has talked to her kids a lot, but she hasn't really talked to her wife about anything other than the case. It's a Wednesday evening and Penelope is attempting to make dinner, while also doing research for the team on her laptop, and keeping an eye on Casey, and the boys who are playing together in the living room.
While her little sister is upstairs doing her homework in her room Kenzie, is sitting at the bench that Penelope isn't using, doing hers and so she sees how much Penelope is attempting to do.
"Mama, can I help with anything?" Kenzie asks as she really wants to be useful.
"You don't have to. How's the homework going?" Penelope asks.
"I'm almost done," Kenzie explains. "And I really want to help," Kenzie explains, and as she does Penelope remembers back something from the meeting she and Emily had with Kenzie's teacher.
"I wanted to ask you about that," Penelope says, walking over to her. "Kenz, around the house you're always offering to help, and Mom and I are so appreciate, but when we met with your teacher she said you don't volunteer in class," Penelope says, and as she does Kenzie looks down at the her laptop. "What is it Kenz?" Penelope asks curious, in a gentle voice.
"I never wanted to draw attention to myself," Kenzie admits. "I thought that if I drew attention to myself then maybe someone would look closer and realize what was really going on, what they were doing," Kenzie admits. "If that happened, I knew I would be separated from Mads, Con, Noah and Case and I couldn't let that happen," Kenzie explains.
"Oh Kenz, you don't have to worry about that anymore," Penelope assures her. "Kenz, you don't have to hide yourself anymore. You can answer questions, you can volunteer, draw attention to yourself, you can ask for what you want. You can be the star I know you are you don't have to be afraid," Penelope assures her.
"Well, um, if I can ask for what I want I always liked cooking," Kenzie admits, revealing something that neither Penelope or Emily knew. "I used to do it a lot, so I would like to help cook sometimes, and learn to cook more things," Kenzie reveals, sounding nervous.
"Okay, wash your hands, and you can help me finish dinner," Penelope says, and the smile on Kenzie's face is everything she needs to know.
"Awesome," Kenzie says with a grin, and she closes her computer and goes to wash her hands so that she can help Penelope with dinner.
While Penelope is cooking with Kenzie Emily is in the Police Department that she and the team are working the case out of. While the members of the team are doing various things, Emily is just staring at the coffee pot as she just checked her phone to find no messages or calls from Penelope. As she is so distracted Emily doesn't even realize when JJ walks up.
"Hello, earth to Emily," JJ says, as Emily didn't even react when she asked for the coffee pot.
"Sorry, what?" Emily asks confused.
"Are you okay?" JJ asks concerned as she has noticed that Emily has seemed to be distracted throughout this entire case.
"I'm worried about, Penelope," Emily admits.
"Why?" JJ asks concerned.
"She's not dealing with what happened," Emily admits, pain in her voice. "Every time I try to talk to her about what happened, and the effects it's had on her, she refuses," Emily admits. "I hate that Pen is in so much pain and won't open up to me," Emily explains.
"I'm really sorry," JJ says, being able to see how much pain Emily is in. "Can I do anything to help?" JJ asks.
"No," Emily admits. "I've just got to keep trying to get Pen to talk," Emily reveals, as she and JJ drift into silence.
Two days later Penelope have left the BAU early while the rest of the team are finishing up the case, as it is the last day of school for the year. Having already collected Connor, Casey and Noah Penelope has headed over to the school part of campus. As the bell has rung Penelope knows she should be seeing the girls any minute.
"MAMA!" Maddie and Kenzie's voices yell, as they both run to Penelope and their siblings. Once they are close enough Penelope hugs the girls.
"How was school?" Penelope asks her girls.
"Good," Kenzie and Maddie say together.
"Excited for summer?" Penelope asks curious, looking between the girls.
"Yes!" Maddie says.
"Definitely," Kenzie says, knowing that that this is the first time ever that she is actually excited for summer.
"Then let's get you two signed out and home," Penelope says to the girls and they head over to sign the girls out before heading home.
A couple of hours later Penelope and the kids are getting ready to go to dinner all six of them hoping that Emily will get home in time, but no one is sure as to whether she will.
"Do you know how far away, Mom is?" Kenzie asks curious as Penelope does up Casey's shoes, and she sits on the edge of the couch.
"I'm not sure," Penelope admits as she hasn't gotten an update about how far away the team are. "But she knows where we are going so Mom knows where to find us," Penelope explains. "Do you want to go get your bothers and sister?" Penelope asks curious.
"Sure," Kenzie says, and she heads towards the stairs.
"We're going to have a really good time tonight," Penelope says to Casey as she finishes putting on her shoes.
"MADDIE, NOAH, CONNOR GET DOWN HERE!" Kenzie yells from the bottom of the stairs.
"I could have done that," Penelope mutters to herself, sounding amused, as she picks up Casey. "I really hope Em gets here in time," Penelope mutters.
"Well as I like to say, your wish is my command," A voice says and Penelope turns to see Emily who walked in from the garage.
"You're home!" Penelope says, sounding glad.
"I am," Emily confirms, and Penelope walks over and hugs her.
"I've missed you," Penelope says as she kisses Emily's cheek.
"I've missed you too," Emily admits. "And I've missed you," Emily says to Casey, kissing her head.
"I'm not the only one who is going to be thrilled to see you," Penelope says, as the sounds of four sets of footsteps get closer, and she and Penelope break apart.
"I know," Emily says as Kenzie, Maddie, Noah and Connor come into view.
"MOM!" Kenzie, Maddie, Noah and Connor all yell as they run towards Emily and once, they are close enough Emily hugs her four older children.
"Oh, I've missed you all," Emily says as she hugs them, and Penelope watches on with a smile on her face.
"Missed you too," Connor says, and after the kids spend a little while hugging Emily they break apart.
"So, I think I seem to remember something about pizza dinner?" Emily asks.
"Yes!" Kenzie and Maddie yell, sounding excited.
"Then let's going," Penelope says, and they all head out to the garage, getting into Emily's car and the family proceeds to have an incredible night together as a family.