The Marauders spent the entirety of Sunday together, though none of them mentioned what would happen that night. Remus suspected they'd be in their own beds, and as he got his pajamas on he was worried about sleeping alone. Or having nightmares. That would be bad. He was not ready to come face-to-face with making a decision about Sirius… sleeping in his bed. As much as he wanted to.

He wanted to share a bed with someone, or all of them again. It had felt so good, so safe, so nice. Even sleeping in the same bed as one other person would probably—well, he figured it would help. How he hadn't woken up screaming and thrashing Saturday night was beyond him. It should have happened, but it didn't. Because of the bed-sharing? Because having someone (or someones) there around him made him feel safer?

I might be able to ask James, he thought as he buttoned his top up. Sharing with James seemed less… overwhelming. Less hot. Less… wrong feelings. But on the other hand, James hadn't offered; Sirius had. Plus sleeping right next to Sirius didn't seem to be… too terrible or difficult the night before. All right, so he was in a bed with two more people besides Sirius, and had just spent hours wandering around lost and almost dying but still.

Maybe, he thought as he returned to his dorm. But I'm not ready yet. If he could put it off till after summer that would be great. Except could he go through two weeks without having nightmares? Especially with the full moon coming up? Or even tonight?

Remus climbed into bed, still unsure. Of course, sharing a bed didn't inherently mean anything, no matter what his wrong feelings were insisting. Sharing with Sirius would be the same as sharing with James or Peter. It didn't mean anything. Why do I have to even have these feelings? he wondered miserably as he opened a book in his lap, pretending to read. He was far too preoccupied to actually do any reading. I know I'll stop soon, I'll start liking girls soon, but I don't want to wait any longer! Maybe there was a way to get rid of them. A magical way. Or a magical way to kick in his feelings for girls. I'll have to look next year, he decided. He knew he wouldn't have time in the two weeks before school ended. Far too much to do. Schoolwork, assignments, Operation Overgrowth, Vinctum research, and sacrificial death magic. Plus four nights of tearing himself to shreds.

After a while Remus put his book aside, said goodnight to his friends, and closed his curtains. He lay in the dark for some time until he began drifting off…

They were in the passages, wandering in circles. They didn't know how long they had been there but it had been a long time. Days. They were all hungry and disoriented, unable to find a way out. They didn't know whether it was day or night until Remus fell to the floor, screaming as he transformed. It was the full moon, and they were stuck in a maze with a werewolf. He screamed at them to run as far as they could, which they did. Leaving a nicely scented trail for the wolf to follow once he finished transforming. Remus went after them, hearing their hearts beating in the darkness. He howled, enjoying the thrill from hearing their screams of fear. He soon cornered Sirius, saliva dribbling down as he padded forward. Sirius was on his knees, begging Remus not to hurt him, pleading with him that didn't he recognize his friend? Then Sirius looked right up into Remus's wolf eyes and promised a kiss if he wasn't eaten.

Remus howled, and lunged forward, his fangs digging through Sirius's face, piercing his skin and tearing tender flesh from his skull—

Remus woke up screaming and flailing, hands stretching out to try to pull Sirius away from him though he wasn't there. His fingers scrabbled at his mouth, still feeling flesh between his teeth, still tasting his friend's blood.

No, no, no! he thought desperately as Sirius approached his bed. He briefly considered pretending to still be asleep, then dropped his hands when the curtains opened. He didn't want Sirius to see his hands in his mouth, didn't want him to see him digging his nails in to pull out nonexistent flesh.

Sirius climbed in, shutting the curtains behind him. "Are you okay?"

"Not particularly," Remus replied, trying not to sound snippy. His head was pulsing a little as he waited for Sirius to mention it. His entire body was hot and uncomfortable though not because of wrong feelings; it was because of anxiety and fear. He didn't want to hurt his friend… but he also didn't want to make a decision. Couldn't. Not yet. Please not yet.

Sirius settled in near Remus's feet. "Do you want to… talk about it?"

"I—" He glanced away, rubbing his cheeks, imagining his fangs piercing Sirius's cheeks. "No."

"Okay."

There was an awkward stretch of silence. Both boys knew what they weren't saying, and Remus had no intention of being the one to bring it up.

"What I said earlier," Sirius finally said as he tugged at a loose string on his pajama bottoms. "If you—"

"Idontknow," Remus blurted out before ducking his head, fingers sliding as he covered as much of his face as he could, wishing he could disappear. "I—I don't know. It's… I haven't… it's so… sudden."

Yes, he wanted to say yes.

No. He didn't dare say yes.

How could he share a bed after dreaming about ripping that very person to pieces?

"Everything is still so… heavy. You know?" He peeped out from between his fingers to see Sirius frowning and wondered if other people felt events as being 'heavy'. If other people felt similar things to how he felt. Did his friends feel the heaviness? Did they feel the cold darkness of what happened curling inside their bodies? Did it feel like something Wrong and Awful scraping away at their soul? Could they physically feel what happened pressing against their skin?

But then Sirius nodded. "I understand. It's a decision you should probably think about. I mean, I wasn't really given a choice for mine."

"What do you mean?"

Sirius smiled now, pulling his knees up, wrapping his arms around them like how Remus usually sat. "The first time James and I shared a bed we sort've… well, he basically said goodnight and rolled over, going to sleep."

Remus covered his mouth, snickering slightly. "That is one hundred percent James for you." Even sitting there talking with Sirius was helping, at least. The stress and fear slowly melted away, the nightmares growing foggier.

"Yes. Though thinking about it…" Sirius tilted his head upwards, his long black hair tumbling back. "If he had asked I would have said no. I'm glad he didn't ask. But… you're not me."

"If I had some stilts I could be," Remus said and Sirius laughed.

"I'm not upset about you saying you need time to think, you know," he said once he stopped his quiet laughter. "I won't be mad if you say no. I know not everyone feels comfortable sharing. I certainly wouldn't have offered a year ago. Even after sharing with James so much, it's not something I… would have even considered."

"It's not something I would have considered either, before last night," admitted Remus.

"Yesterday changed a lot," Sirius muttered. Remus nodded in agreement. "I still can't believe it happened."

"Me either. I am s—"

"No," Sirius said firmly. "Don't start apologizing again. The only person who blames you is you. Stop scowling, it's true." He brushed his hair back, eyes sparkling in what little light came filtered through the curtains. "Besides. Look at it this way. Even if you feel like you got us into the mess—which it was an accident—you got us out."

"Barely."

Sirius reached over, his hand on Remus's wrist. "What you did was very brave."

Warmth spread through Remus's body and he was very glad they weren't going to share. "I only did what I thought best—"

"It was very cool."

Remus scooted back a little, looking down at his lap so as to avoid his eyes. Cool? "Th—thank you."

After a few more minutes of light talk, mostly about Professor Young and what might have happened (Remus avoided mentioning his theory), Sirius whispered a goodnight and left his bed. Remus waited until he heard Sirius back in his own bed then rolled over, getting Gwyllgi out to cuddle with.

If he still… wants to… next year… then maybe, he thought, wishing he had the warmth of another body next to his.

/\/\/\

It was beyond bizarre to wake up Monday morning and get ready for school. Remus felt rather drifty and detached to his body. Like he really wasn't there. Not that he wanted to be. He'd rather stay in his bed, buried under his blankets, wanted something on him to weight him down and keep him safe. Also he was having those awful feelings of not wanting to be touched, of the thought of touch hurting him; of knowing if he was touched it would send pain and discomfort through his body. It was going to be a rough day…

Especially since everything seemed so normal. The Marauders went to breakfast and it was like any other Monday morning. The students who liked morning were chattering away, the ones that didn't were hunched grumpily over their breakfasts. It really drilled into Remus how disconnected the events of Saturday were, like they had happened somewhere far away and not in the school. Or to someone else.

As he ate, he glanced around the room wondering how many of his fellow students knew about the Pits Passages, how many had been there not knowing Professor Young was below them. How long she may have been missing if Remus hadn't heard her… spirit… whispering.

He could see the puzzle pieces connecting. Them deciding the Pits Passage was a great place to hang out. James dropping Sirius's sketchbook down the one pit which led them to discover the first tunnel, with the book. Which really triggered Remus into researching everything and being curious in the first place. And so on and so forth. Every little thing leading up to them finding Professor Young (and falling down into the strange cavern).

It was like it was meant to be.

Or was it simply coincidence?

Remus wasn't sure how much he believed in fate. It's something he had thought about the previous year, with the Sorting Hat telling him that the fates had dealt him his hand. Fawley had said something similar, too. Heck, Sirius had mentioned it when he was wanting Remus to be friends with them ("Like we were meant to be together"). Did life work like that?

"Ugh," he moaned, shaking his head which had begun to hurt thinking about all the little threads of life intersecting and intertwining. He didn't want to think about it; he figured he'd have to think about it plenty enough the following year in Divination. He'd leave it for then.

/\/\/\

It was uncomfortable seeing Aegis in Potions, considering one the last conversations they had had was Aegis telling Remus not to go back down; he wasn't feeling up to talking to his friend and once class was dismissed he scurried out. He felt a little bad purposely avoiding Aegis but he knew if he looked into Aegis's face he'd feel compelled to tell him he was right. Or that Aegis would somehow know. Remus just wasn't in the mood to talk about Saturday. Not yet.

"Are we still doing the prank?" Peter asked as the Marauders headed to Charms.

"Why wouldn't we be?" James asked.

Pete shrugged. "Iunno. It feels kinda weird right now. We need to make the potion if we are, don't we?"

"Yes, we should start that tonight," James agreed. "Remy, are you and Evans going to work on… your side of things?"

"Yeah, we were going to get together later today," he said, twisting his finger into the strap of his satchel. "Er, she wanted to know if you wanted to listen to some Muggle albums later too. If not that's fine."

"I think that'd be a good idea," Sirius said before James could speak. "Besides, then we could all discuss Operation Overgrowth."

Remus could tell none of them were as into the prank as they had been before Saturday. There was a sort of hollowness to all their voices. Hopefully things get better, he thought as they took their seats. At least the lessons they had left were mostly revision work, as well as loose explanations about what to expect in their third year. Nothing too taxing. Normally Remus would be paying very close attention to everything said, however today he only half-listened and instead spent a lot of his time staring at some spot in the air above Flitwick's head.

The rest of the day went much like that until after Transfiguration when Professor McGonagall wanted the four of them to stay behind. The rest of the Gryffindors were smirking and rolling their eyes as if to say 'what else is new?' but Remus wasn't really sure what was going on. They hadn't done anything.

After the last student left and the door shut, McGonagall returned to her desk, studying all of them as she sat down. "Albus has informed me what happened," she said.

Remus peeked through his fringe, wondering how much Professor Dumbledore told her. The tunnels and finding Professor Young? Or the cavern too? He still wasn't sure how much Dumbledore believed. Nor did he understand why Dumbledore didn't look in his memories.

"I can't imagine how frightening it must have been for you. I am very sorry you had to go through that. That being said, I am also very proud of you for having the courage and fortitude to return to… to return, with Albus. Now, I won't keep you—I'm sure you have plans for the rest of the day—however I wanted to add that my office door is always open if you need to talk about anything."

They all murmured their thanks and left, except for Peter who hesitated then stayed behind. The door was still shut and locked when the next class showed up but then Peter finally emerged, his eyes a little red and his cheeks a little flushed.

"Is everything okay?" James asked as they began walking.

Peter nodded, not looking at any of them. "Yeah, I'll—I'll be okay. I think. Maybe. I guess, um, you know…"

James flung an arm around his neck and pulled him in for a gentle headlock and noogie. "Yeah, I get that."

At least they did have plans: music with Lily, and talking about the prank. She was in a nearby corridor waiting for them, wanting to know if they still wanted to do that. Of course they did, and headed off together, figuring the boys' dorm would be the best place to offer privacy, since it was rainy out. Their agreement must not have been very convincing since Lily slowed down, tugging at Remus's sleeve till he slowed too.

"Is something going on?" she asked quietly. "Everyone seems so… I don't know. Potter and Black don't seem as energetic as they usually are."

"We… had a difficult time Saturday, with the—when we explored the hidden passage," Remus explained, being careful with his words. "As I said yesterday, it wasn't really safe and shook us up a little."

"How bad was it?" she asked, forehead wrinkled with worry.

Remus glanced at his friends' backs before returning his gaze to Lily. "Don't say anything?" he asked and she promised she wouldn't. "There—there was a bit of a cave-in."

She gasped a little too loudly and the others stopped, turning to face them. "I—I thought I saw a spider on Remus's shoulder," she said, pretending to pluck something off his robes. "It was only a fuzzy."

"Are you that afraid of spiders, Evans?" James teased.

"I'm not afraid of spiders!" she snapped back. "Except when you glue them in my hair! But that's different." The Marauders kept walking and Lily stepped closer to Remus. "Sorry, didn't mean to gasp. I—oh. Really? None of you were hurt, were you?"

"Only frightened," Remus lied.

"Liar," she said and he blinked. "Look, I saw you when you came back to the dorm! You were covered in blood, all of you were—"

"Oh." He wriggled miserably. "Yeah, a few rocks fell on us." He wondered if she'd start lecturing him on exploring old passageways, and safety. "Nothing too bad, honestly, it looked worse than it was."

She hugged him tightly which felt as awful as he suspected touch would be; it took everything in him not to scream and shove her away. The feel of her arms around him was absolute agony. Not only did it feel as though his very bones were aching, it also seemed like everything inside of him was trying to crawl away, pushing outward, making his entire body feel like a balloon with too much air. His skin prickled, feeling like it might burst if she kept hugging him.

"I'm sorry. That really must have been scary. I'm glad you're all okay. OH SHUT UP!" she snarled, her voice loud in Remus's ear causing him to wince. The Marauders were all snickering over the hug. "Honestly!"

At least the hug was over.

Several minutes later they separated in the common room; Lily to get her albums, the boys up to their dorm. Peter rushed around to put all his dirty pants and socks away while James and Sirius simply kicked theirs under their beds.

"I hate the fact I've seen so much of your underwear," Lily said when she came in, wrinkling her nose up.

James tugged down his trousers, flashing some of his cherry red drawers. "Like that, Evans?"

"The stuff of dreams, Potter." Lily tilted her head, putting a finger against her chin. "Did I say dreams? I meant nightmares." She set her stack of albums down on Remus's desk. "All right, I thought long and hard—"

"Did it hurt?" James joked, causing Sirius and Peter to giggle.

Lily clenched her teeth. "Not as much as my hex will hurt you if you don't shut up! Now. I've thought about which songs to play for you. Which ones I think you'll like, because frankly, Muggle music is amazing and I do want you to like it. Remus has said you've heard Sweet Caroline. I don't have any Neil Diamond but I think you'll like this. This group really reminds me of the Quidducks. Or rather, they remind me of this group since I got this album for my tenth Christmas, before I got my letter."

"Oh, I like them," James said. "The Quidducks."

Lily put the album on, carefully adjusting the needle while Remus tried to figure what song it might be.

People try to put us d-down (talkin' 'bout my generation), just because we get around (talkin' 'bout my generation). Things they do look awful c-c-cold (talkin' 'bout my generation). I hope I die before I get old (talkin' 'bout my generation). This is my generation. This is my generation, baby.

Remus had never thought of it before until now, but The Quidducks definitely had a similar sound to The Who and Lily had been brilliant to use that as an introduction. He could see on James and Sirius's faces they were really enjoying the song. Once the song finished she flipped the album to play a song Remus had not heard before called The Kids Are Alright which Lily used to lead into the Beatles.

It was twenty years ago today, Sergeant Pepper taught the band to play, they've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile. So may I introduce to you the act you've known for all these years: Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band!

Lily, Peter, and Remus all sang along to that song while James and Sirius listened intently. The music was a welcome reprieve to all the heaviness from Saturday. As Lily played songs, the four of them relaxed more and more. It was visible on their faces and in their voices (Lily later told Remus she could even see the difference in them). Lily even played them some Elton John and Remus was nervous when she did, worried that James and Sirius would hate his music.

And I think it's gonna be a long long time 'til touchdown brings me 'round again to find I'm not the man they think I am at home oh no, no, no…. I'm a rocket man…. Rocket man, burning out his fuse up here alone.

James and Sirius listened to the song in complete silence which Remus wasn't sure whether was a good thing or a bad thing until it was done. Then they both said while they didn't understand some of it, it was 'bloody brilliant'. Sirius wanted to hear it again. This time Lily and James both sang along a bit, but Sirius just listened in silence, looking like he was really taking the song in.

"Th—that's one of my favorite songs ever," Remus ventured after it ended again.

Sirius looked at Remus. "I can see why."

Remus felt very giddy, and very happy.

"Okay I don't know how you feel about female singers," Lily said, getting another album, "and I haven't found a single magical singer that reminds me of her though she does sorta remind me a lot of when Garsenda sings for the Hufflepuffskeins. Anyway, she is absolutely wonderful."

I want the love that you deny me, that I need so desperately, the tenderness that you possess, you've deprived me. You must pray for the lonely night that I walked the floor for you and don't know you must erase all the tear stains on my face. Surrender your love baby, surrender your love, surrender your love baby, surrender your love!

After Diana Ross's song, Lily didn't have anything else planned, so they began looking at the album's song lists to find ones they might like. The first song James chose was a replay of Being For The Benefit Of Mr. Kite. When it got to the waltzing bit he and Sirius jumped up and tripped over their own feet as they tried to waltz. Well, James tripped; Sirius seemed to be able to do it well. Then they fell back onto Sirius's bed, laughing.

"Muggle music is pretty neat!" James declared.

They listened through some more Beatles, then a little more Elton before the door opened and David and Spinnet came in. Both boys stared in disbelief at Evans sitting there on the floor. Spinnet's face began to grow red as he realized all his dirty clothes laying about.

"Wh—what's she doing in here?!" he squeaked out, rushing over to his section of the room to pick his things up. "She's not allowed in here! Boys only!"

"That's Honky Cat," David said, then looked slightly panicked at admitting he knew what it was.

"Yes!" Lily said brightly.

"Sorry, what did you say?!" Spinnet looked at his friend.

"The song," Lily explained. "Honky Cat. Get back, honky cat, better get back to the woods!"

Spinnet stared at her as if she were speaking a completely different language. "What is this? Is it a new singer? I don't recognize the voice."

"Muggle music," James said, bobbing along to the tune.

Spinnet snorted, dumping all his laundry in his bin. "Why would you listen to that?"

Remus could see slight hurt flash across Dave's face. He was on the verge of defending his new friend, but Sirius jumped in first. "Considering the fact you're supposedly friends with a Muggleborn, that's a pretty rude thing to say."

Spinnet blinked at Sirius then shifted his gaze to David who was silently picking up his own dirty laundry. "I—I didn't mean it like that," Spinnet quickly amended, face reddening. "I'm surprised you two are, being twatty purebloods and all."

James pushed his glasses up. "I'm the twat even though you're the one who made that comment? Hmm."

Lily cleared her throat. "As the only other Muggleborn in the room, I… unfortunately… agree with Potter. That was a rather twattish thing to say, Spinnet."

Spinnet's face was growing redder by the minute. "I said I didn't mean it like that!"

"Don't snap at Evans," Sirius said, getting to his feet and standing at full height. "Maybe you should leave if you're going to be like that."

Spinnet stood at full height too, which was several inches shorter than Sirius. "This is my dorm. She shouldn't be here."

James got up as well. "Majority rules, Spinnet. Four to one, with Struthers not voting."

Spinnet looked around at the Marauders. "Fine. Fine. Be that way!" With that he stormed out.

"You're welcome to stay," Lily told David. "Er, I mean, I'm all right with you staying. I guess I can't speak for them."

"No, it's fine," agreed James.

David looked uncertain. Remus wanted to tell him he should stay and not go after his friend that just insulted him. "Thank you, but I think I'm going to go make sure Andy's all right." With that he scurried out of the room.

"Why is he even friends with Spinnet?" Peter blurted out as soon as the door shut.

James settled back down on Sirius's bed. "No clue. Spinnet's such a jerk."

Lily frowned. "Just because someone has a temper sometimes, and says things they shouldn't, doesn't mean you should just drop a friendship… people say things they don't mean all the time." She shook her head. "Anyway, thank you for standing up for me, Black. That was very nice of you."

Sirius ran his fingers through his hair, giving Lily one of his most charming smiles. "He had no right giving you that tone."

Remus had no clue how Lily managed to be given Sirius's smile at full blast without collapsing.

"Let's not let that knobhead ruin everything," James suggested.

But unfortunately they had to, as a minute into the next song the door opened and David came in to inform them that Spinnet was currently telling a Prefect that there was a girl in their dorm. Normally, the rules about girls being in the boys' dorms were pretty loose. It was more of a 'they shouldn't be there but you won't get in trouble for it' type of thing, however Spinnet was apparently raising such a fuss that David suspected they'd get into big trouble for having Lily there. After giving them this warning he left, hurrying back down the stairs so Spinnet wouldn't know he had tattled.

Lily reluctantly gathered up her albums. "He's such a horrible, spiteful person!"

"We can meet up sometime tomorrow to discuss the prank," suggested James, which Lily agreed to.

With that she ducked across the hallway, waiting in the bathroom until Spinnet dragged the Prefect into their dorm before going down the stairs. Spinnet was livid when he realized Lily wasn't there, looking under beds and into wardrobes while the Prefect stood there, arms folded and foot tapping. Finally, he told Spinnet to stop wasting his time then left with a disgusted sigh.

James and Sirius both gave Spinnet big grins while Spinnet spluttered out curse words. He left, slamming the door shut behind him.

The Marauders collapsed back with laughter, very happy at being able to pull a fast one over Spinnet.