Chapter 153 – What's Unspoken

Elita P.O.V

''It's funny how life has a tendency to remind us that all our grand plans mean exactly scrap!'' My own voice echoed about my personal quarters as I sat alone on the edge of my berth.

Only a few joors ago Prime reluctantly gave permission for Phoenix to temporarily defect to the Decepticons in hope she might be able to learn more of the enemy Galvatron warned her about. An enemy we believe to be none other than the Chaos Bringer – Unicron. She will be leaving on her mission by the end of the week after the finer details were nutted out including how she was going to go about defecting and returning safely.

Two thoughts crossed my processor; the first, it wouldn't matter how long she had to prepare before her departure, nothing will prepare her for what she will encounter with the Decepticons. ''And two,'' I spoke out loud to the silence that enveloped me in my quarters. ''I'll bet neither Prime nor Phoenix figured on this little development in their lives or their relationship.''

It would seem like everyone's best laid plans were going awry.

I felt a small, sardonic smile spread across my dermas. As Ariel I had planned to live a life with Orion Pax. Become spark bonded, eventually have sparklings and live a long and happy life together. Then we were both killed.

I sighed out loud to the still night air. As Elita One I had spark bonded with Optimus Prime, but we rarely had any time to ourselves as we both fought to reclaim our planet from the Decepticons. I had planned to stay by his side through whatever trials came our way. But he chose to leave our dying planet in search of the All Spark and left me here, thinking he would return soon.

I lowered my helm, resting my chin upon my servos. As Elita One, I planned to lead my Autobot femmes with wisdom and bravery, keeping them all safe. But I lost Firestar because I allowed myself to be captured. A sob broke free from my dermas and I muffled it with my servo. I closed my optics and rode out the wave of guilt and pain that swept over me. All at once a warmth crept through me and wrapped itself about my spark.

As Elita One I planned on loving only Optimus Prime for as long as my spark endured. But Optimus did not return for me for millions of years and, over time my bond to him began to fade and weaken. /To keep him safe/, I told myself. /Though perhaps, knowing what I know now, it was the other way around?/. Over time, another slowly grew to take his place in my spark.

I stood up and paced about the room. As Elita One when I travelled to Earth in search of Optimus Prime, I planned to find him, re-establish my bond and connection to him and convince him to return with me to Cybertron in a last effort to save our dying world. I froze on the spot and brought my arms up to wrap about my slender waist. A rueful smile flashed across my dermas. But when I found him, he had already given his spark to another and vowed to defend this planet – Earth, hoping to save it from the same fate as Cybertron. He would not be coming back with me. He would no longer be with me.

I ex-vented deeply. As Elita One I planned to help Prime find and stop who was responsible for killing our friend, hunting us down and then I was going to confront the one who had captured his spark - this Phoenix - and leave. I shook my helm and chuckled softly at my own recollections. /But then she turned out to be everything Prime had promised me she would be, and I could not bring myself to do anything but be grateful she was in his life in a way I was never able to be/.

I wrapped my arms tighter about my frame, seeking comfort. As Elita One I had planned to stay on this planet as I too had fallen in love with its beauty and its relative peace. Friends were here. Prime was here. I had made peace with Phoenix and everything seemed to be as it should.

/But it was not/.

The Seed remained a threat and now a new vastly more powerful and menacing enemy was making their way towards us, and we were greatly outnumbered. /And my spark ached for my home, for my femmes - for Magnus/.

As Elita One I had planned to stay. But I knew I had to go.

I ''sighed'' expelling my worries, my fears and my regrets as I cycled air back into my intakes. Ever since the battle of Beijing. I stopped a moment and reflected. /Well, ever since Prime confessed about Phoenix to be honest/, a heavy feeling in the pit of my tanks continued to grow. An uneasy, restless feeling as though my spark yearned to be elsewhere but was being held here against its will while I fought to ignore my own true feelings.

I resumed my pacing, stalking agitatedly about the small, sparse room as a caged animal might in one of those zoos the humans have here. I felt a small, sad smile spread across my dermas as I allowed my thoughts to wash over me, and I examined them carefully. /Prime and Phoenix/. I froze on the spot as I allowed my thoughts and feelings to process. Despite my initial anger and pain at learning of their feelings for each other, having had the chance to talk to Prime, and get to know Phoenix, the pain and anger had slowly given way to – acceptance and happiness – for them.

Once more I renewed my unsettled pacing, holding my servos behind my back as I did so. /They have a chance to be together in a way Prime and I never had/. While a small, cold coil of jealousy tried to wrap around my spark, I staved it off. I was happy for them. While it was true, I did not love Prime anymore, watching my once spark bonded grow closer to the one he now loved, was all still relatively new. Though I was happy for them, I could not stay here and watch as they fell in deeper in love.

At some stage in my pacing, I had found my way back to my berth and had sat back down on the edge, placing my servo under my chin. My thoughts now drifted to my brave and wonderful femmes I was proud to lead. Another smile graced my dermas as I thought of Arcee. She was well and truly at home here and now, /Plus, she had Sideswipe and Sunstreaker vying for her attention/. I gave a small laugh, a laugh which faded as did the smile when I thought of the femmes I had left behind on Cybertron. /Moonracer, Chromia/. A wave of sadness engulfed me as I realised, I didn't even know their status! For all I know they could have been off-lined in a battle trying to obtain enough rations to survive.

Without warning, a searing pain tore through my spark, leaving in its wake a dull, painful ache. The thought echoed through my processor, mocking, and chastising me. /You just left them!/. Even though I tried to reason with myself that they were the ones who told me to go, that they did not blame me, that small part of my processor that held all my doubt, fear and guilt, raised its ugly head. I physically shook my helm to rid myself of my negative thoughts and at the same time, a derisive snort escaped my enstrils. /I wonder if Optimus ever felt this way after he abandoned me, abandoned those that stayed on Cybertron to fight on until his supposed return?/. As soon as that train of thought was completed, I caught myself focusing on a particular phrase - those that stayed on Cybertron.

/Magnus/.

All at once the image of another red and blue mech with broad shoulders, who was brave, honourable and compassionate, flashed through my processor. I felt a small smile return at the thought of his kind sky-blue optics and gentle smile and I sighed out loud, voicing my frustration to the deafening silence. ''It has been too long.'' While I would always care for and hold Optimus dear to my spark, I could no longer deny that I had developed feelings for another. /And I missed him/.

I placed my servos down by either side of my legs, preparing to stand. /Besides/, a final argument came to mind. /The Seed remains here and while ever it does so, it is just another threat this planet and Prime do not need to worry about/. Indeed, if the enemy Prime says is coming does come, Prime will need all the reinforcements he can get. /Perhaps I can try and return with some much-needed support?/. ''If there is any left to be found!'' It was the final reason I needed.

I had made my decision. I would leave Earth forthwith.

But first. There were two conversations I had to have.

I consulted my internal chronometer. It was getting close to midnight. /Perhaps?/. Perhaps there was a chance she may still be awake and where I think she will be. I rose swiftly to my pedes, keyed my door open and as silently as possible, made my way out into the cool night air.

As I made my way down towards the hidden beach, and my pedes made contact with the dew-covered grass, I felt another wave of sadness wash over me. I had grown to love this planet and its beauty. While Cybertron would always be my home and was in its own way beautiful, /at least it once was/, with its towering, glimmering metallic spires and buildings, this organic planet had captured my spark and I would miss it.

Pulling branches aside, I spied the dark outline of a familiar femme sitting upon the beach. In that moment, I came to realise I would also miss the friends I had made here, which to my eternal surprise, now included the very femme who had captured Optimus' spark.

At the sound of my approaching pede falls, an attractive face with brown and gold flecked optics turned towards me, a large, yet confused, smile spread across her dermas. ''Elita!?'' Phoenix shuttered her optics in surprise. ''I did not expect to see you here at this hour. Is everything okay?'' She made to stand but I gestured for her to remain where she was, and I came to sit beside her.

''I thought I might still find you here under your stars.'' I raised my helm and took in the majesty of the night sky. ''So beautiful.'' I turned back to look at Phoenix. ''Thanks to you, I actually take the time to look at them again.'' I flashed her a brief smile.

Phoenix smiled back before folding her arms across her chest. ''You're welcome and you didn't answer the question.'' She raised her optical ridge towards me. ''I say again, is everything alright?''

Once again, I could see why Prime fell in love with this femme and once again, I was glad he had found someone like her to support him. I gave a small laugh and shook my helm. ''You don't let up do you?''

She shook her helm in reply, her smile fading slightly. ''Not when I know someone needs to talk.'' She studied me for a moment. ''Or they don't know how to say what they need to say.''

I nodded my helm slowly. ''No fooling you is there? Very well, there is something I confess I want to talk to you about, well you and Optimus.''

At my words Phoenix slightly tensed. ''Elita I thought…''

I reached out and squeezed her arm in reassurance, ''No, no Phoenix, nothing about that.'' She visibly relaxed again. ''But it is important.''

Phoenix squeezed my servo in reply before dropping it back to her lap. ''Well, what is it? Did you want me to comm Prime to come down here too? He is in Hanger 1 finishing a conference call with General Morshower regarding our findings with the specimen Ironhide and Jazz brought back.''

I shook my helm a little too quickly. ''No! That's fine Phoenix. I'll talk to him separately - later.''

Phoenix's brow furrowed and she sat up a little straighter. ''Okay Elita. Out with it. What is the problem? You are worrying me.''

I sighed out loud, a human habit I had picked up and found somewhat satisfying despite the fact I did not ''breathe''. ''Well Phoenix, I came to talk to you because I have been thinking about something for a while and I have come to a decision.'' I paused a moment as I prepared to deliver the news I would be leaving here. Phoenix stared intently at me. ''Phoenix, I have decided to leave Earth and head back to Cybertron.''

Her dermas flew open, and she blinked her optics several times as she processed what I was sure was a very unexpected comment. I found myself barely suppressing a smile as I thought she had yet to master Prime's ability to mask his emotions. /Then again he has a few million years of practice on her!/.

''WHAT? Are… are, you sure? Why? Why would you leave NOW?'' Phoenix had risen swiftly to her pedes and started to pace along the beach line. ''How can you leave Prime now of all times, when he is going to need you while I am…'' She stopped speaking and stood with her arms folded across her chest and a scowl across her face. ''WHY?'' It was one word and yet it held so much accusation and disappointment.

I too rose to my pedes and took a step towards her. ''Phoenix, I know it might seem like I am abandoning Prime, the Autobots and you, but I have been thinking about this since well,'' I gestured wildly with my servos, ''well since Prime told me about you!''

Phoenix flinched at my words though her scowl remained. I walked over and placed a gentle servo on her arm and smiled up into her optics. She ex-vented softly and dropped her arms limply by her sides. ''Why do you have to leave now Elita? We had sorted our differences and I thought we were getting along. I thought maybe… maybe we were friends?''

''Phoenix we are friends! And we do get along but that is not why I am leaving. I am leaving for a variety of reasons.''

''Such as?'' She cast an interrogative look in my direction.

I removed my servo and folded my own arms across my chest. ''Well firstly, I intend to take the Seed with me so that there is one less threat to this planet and one less thing for Prime to worry about.''

A look of serious consideration descended upon Phoenix's face. ''A fair point Elita. I had not considered that.''

I nodded my helm. ''And if Unicron IS indeed coming, then Prime and you and this planet, are going to need all the help they can get! I intend to head back and try to rally some reinforcements. Though I do not know the timeframe we are dealing with, the sooner I go, the better.''

Phoenix slowly nodded her helm. Her body seemed to relax and she sighed out loud. ''Well, both very good points and good reasons Elita.''

''And finally, I miss my fellow femmes back on Cybertron. I need to know how they are. They are my responsibility and - my family. You don't turn your back on family.'' She did not need to know about Magnus. Not yet anyway.

Phoenix smiled knowingly at me and nodded her helm in agreeance. ''I can understand that feeling all too well Elita.'' For a moment she looked contrite. ''I ah… I'm sorry for my little ''outburst'' a moment ago. I should have known you would have had very good reasons for leaving.'' Phoenix shrugged her shoulders. ''I guess I was just being selfish. I'm sorry Elita. Not the best actions of a friend - or a Prime. Forgive me?''

I laughed out loud and stepped forward to give her a quick hug. ''There is nothing to forgive Phoenix. I understand your reactions were based on a need to protect Prime and the Autobots.''

She simply nodded before a sad smile spread across her dermas. ''So. When are you going to tell him? I leave on my mission by the end of the week. I assume you will leave before then?''

I nodded. ''I think it is for the best. As I said, the sooner I get going the sooner I may return with help.'' I felt the same smile spread across my face as I thought of telling Prime. ''I just hope he understands why.''

''Oh, he will understand Elita. He may not like it and he will miss you terribly, but he will support you in your decision because that's what Optimus does best.''

''Yes. He does, doesn't he. One of his many fine qualities.'' I paused a moment and a feeling of deep affection and loss swelled up inside of me at the thought of leaving behind the mech I once loved with all my spark. ''Look after him for me Phoenix. Promise me you'll try and keep him safe.''

Phoenix reached out and grasped my servo in hers, holding it tightly, fixing me with a very serious stare. ''You have my word Elita – always.'' She released my servo and smiled brightly at me. /As changeable as the air/. ''Anyway, you'll be back here before you know it and you can tag in and help share the responsibility.''

Once again, I laughed out loud. ''It is a full-time job isn't it, worrying about Optimus and keeping him from sacrificing himself for the greater good.''

Phoenix rolled her optics. ''Tell me about it! I swear he has some secret side bet going with Ironhide or Rachet or he just has some over developed sense of self-sacrifice.'' She shook her helm. ''But it's part of the reason I love him so much. His willingness to protect those that can not do so for themselves.''

A chuckle escaped my dermas as I patted Phoenix on the shoulder. ''Phoenix, I agree.'' I stepped back and ''sighed'' once more. I had achieved what I set out to do. I looked up into the vast darkness of the night sky and the millions of stars that shone down. ''You know Phoenix, I have a feeling that you and Prime were both destined to be together. That unlike Prime and I, I know you will both pick up where you left off and you will both be okay, no matter what happens.''

Phoenix gave a small nod of her helm and a very appreciative smile formed on her dermas. ''Elita, once again you humble me with your words. Thank you.''

I nodded and turned, preparing to leave but before I did, a thought struck me and I cast a glance backwards. ''You know, perhaps by becoming the Phoenix, you have rewritten what was in those stars you are so fond of looking at.'' I winked at her and turned on my pedes, heading towards the tree line.

As I walked away, the look of shock, appreciation and wonder that was plastered on Phoenix's face, was etched into my processor, and warmed my spark.

/One down. One to go/.