Author's note: more post-moon scenes, heavy gore, and emetophobia warning

/\/\/\/\/\

Remus's backside wasn't fully healed by the time he had to go back to the house; there had been too much flesh missing. He was able to walk on his own, at least, and after he was left alone he began searching. Searching for… any possible… bits of his body. He needed to know for sure if he had… eaten it or not. It was a disgusting relief when he found a hunk of shriveled flesh under the couch. Wrinkling his nose, he took it to the rubbish bin, then went into the bathroom to get sick.

That night was pretty rough, though at least this time he didn't hurt his backside or his legs; mostly just his arms, making it easier to get back to the school in the morning as well as have visitors. It was much nicer being able to sit up to talk to his friends, especially without Sirius up in his face like he had been the day before.

Which was nice.

But also not nice.

Unfortunately, they got rather rowdy with their game of Wild Adventures and Pomfrey kicked them out. Well, she mostly kicked them out because half the board was on fire. They protested, insisting it wasn't actually fire and even though James stuck his hand in the flames to show her, she still made them leave, screeching about the irresponsibility of setting fires in the hospital wing.

"You need to rest anyway," she said when Remus tried to promise they would quiet down.

She did let Aegis in later in the day when he came by. As soon as he came into the room the air was filled with awkwardness, since they hadn't really… talked much in a week. Actually, they hadn't talked at all. Remus hoped Aegis wouldn't realize he had been purposely avoiding his friend…

"You look better than I expected," Aegis said as he sat down. "Lily said you looked really bad."

"I'm starting to feel better," he said. "It's good to see you."

Aegis hesitated before replying with, "It is good to see you too."

That's when Remus knew Aegis knew Remus had been trying to avoid him. "How have you been?" he asked, twisting his fingers into his blanket.

Aegis shrugged. "As well as can be expected. Looking forward to the holidays. I cannot believe in a week we will be on the train home."

Blimey, it is only a week away, he thought a little sadly. "Yeah. The—this term has really gone by so fast."

"Mmhm."

There was silence for nearly a full minute. Neither of them looked at each other. Then at the same time they tried talking.

"Aegis, I didn't—"

"Are you angry with—"

"Oh, go ahead—"

"No, no, you first—"

They fell silent, staring into one another's eyes. Aegis looked rather frightened. Remus swallowed and said, "I'm not angry with you. I'm sorry if I—I seemed like it."

"I thought you were," he whispered, his voice having a slight hint of wavering to it. "You—we haven't—it's—"

"I know," he said, feeling completely crappy for not going to his friend sooner. "I'm not mad. I was… embarrassed."

"Em… barrassed?"

He let out a slight groan. "Yes. Um. The—the thing is I—I went back into the tunnels. Where I heard the whispering."

Aegis's eyes went big. "I wondered if you had."

"Yes." He swallowed heavily and ducked his head. "I went with the others. The Marauders. We—er—" He couldn't tell him everything. Not about Professor Young, not about the cavern and passages. "There was a cave-in."

Aegis let out a loud gasp, covering his mouth. "What?!"

"Yeah. Er. Do you—the rumors that were going on earlier this week?" Remus glanced up through his fringe. "That we were seen covered in grime, blood, and all filthy?" Aegis slowly nodded. "Yeah."

"Oh. Remus. I—that—"

"I was—I should have told you sooner," Remus went on, not letting Aegis talk. "On Monday morning I was too ashamed to talk to you. I—I knew if I talked to you, you'd somehow know. Or that I'd say it. I wanted to tell you, I just wasn't ready on Monday. Then… well, it's been—it was a strange couple of days and then I got sick."

Aegis moved the chair closer to the bed then cautiously rested his hand on Remus's arm. They hardly ever touched, making the gesture a big deal. "I am so sorry. I'm very glad you are all okay. You… none of you were very injured, were you?"

"No," he whispered. "Sirius got—er, got a couple of cuts, and we had some bruises. Other than that it was… we didn't need much medical care."

Aegis's fingers curled slightly then he pulled his hand away. "That is good."

"You can say it."

"Say what?"

Remus cocked his head to one side. "You told me so."

Aegis gave a slight smile. "Remus, if the situation were not so serious I would. Except, something like that… I couldn't bear to be smug about it. Besides. I was worried about the whispers, not the tunnel collapsing."

"You can be smug." Remus wondered about bringing up Aegis's reaction to the whispers. His intense fear from being in there. What he had sensed that made him act like that.

He shook his head slightly, looking away. "May I ask something? Was… I—" He stopped then reached up, pressing his fingertips against his temples. "It is probably reaching. However I cannot help but make the connection. The article on Sunday about… that teacher…" Remus froze in fear. "Everyone says she was found in Hogwarts, as the Ministry was in the trophy room."

Of course, of course he'd figure that out, he knows that's the entrance. "Aegis…" He had no idea what to say. What to tell him. "It…"

"I wasn't sure," Aegis continued, "since the pits are not blocked off."

They're not? Remus marveled at that. "You went back?"

"I went into the passageway," he said sharply. "Not the pits. Yesterday. I was curious to know what happened, if the Ministry did anything. Everything seems… the same."

Why would they leave it like that? He had no idea what to do. Suddenly he couldn't remember if it had been Dumbledore who said not to talk about it. He doubted Aegis would tell anyone but since nobody was supposed to know it was them… "I don't know what that was about." The lie felt heavy on his tongue.

Aegis stared at him for so long that Remus worried he knew it was a lie. "Of course," he finally said. "I am glad we talked, though. I am very glad you're not mad at me."

"No, I'm sorry it—it seemed that way. I really shouldn't have acted the way I did."

Aegis stayed a while to visit, which was really enjoyable. After he left Remus fell asleep, waking up when Lily came by. He was very exhausted by this point and wasn't able to focus well on their conversation which was mostly about possibilities for Operation Overgrowth. After she left Remus fell back asleep, sleeping until it was time to go.

/\/\/\

On Sunday, Remus wasn't bad at all since it had rained most of the night. What few injuries he got were rather shallow and even though he was tired, he was a lot more energetic than the day before. He was sitting up in bed reading a book when the Marauders came in.

"Morning!" Remus said cheerfully, shutting his book.

"It's good to see you happy," Peter said, making a dive to sit next to Remus before either of the others could. Sirius rather grouchily sat at the foot of the bed. "Was last night all right, then?"

"It rained almost the entire night," he explained. "I'm very tired but… not very… erm… hurt."

"What time do you go to—to Hogsmeade?" James asked as he draped himself in his chair. "In the evenings?"

"Erm, it de—depends on when works for Madame Pomfrey." Remus narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"We're sneaking in," Sirius replied. "If you were there, we would go by to knock or something. You know, sort of… 'hey there' thing."

Remus rubbed his forehead. "I'd rather you not. I appreciate it but the house is off-limits and you could get in trouble. Besides, the sun won't set until around ten. Most likely I'll be there around eight, which is far too late for you to be in Hogsmeade anyway." As soon as he said it, he knew they were going to stay until that point to prove a point.

Sure enough that night at around eight-twenty he heard fireworks outside. He was curled up on the couch, half-asleep, and woke with a jerk when the pops and bangs began. What the—? He wandered over to one of the boarded up windows near the sound, pressing his ear against the wood. He thought it was coming from the woods, judging by which side of the house he was in. Those rats, he thought, shaking his head. Who else would it be, besides the Marauders?

He jumped as more fireworks went off and he could faintly hear whooping. After a moment he thought he heard singing and pressed against the wood even more. It was Sweet Caroline. Faint, but there.

Smiling he turned and slid to the ground, putting his head in his hands as he laughed. Then the laughter, for some reason, turned into crying. Not quite sad crying, not quite happy crying; sort of a mix of both. Happy that somehow he had lucked out in finding three incredible friends who supported him, and also sad that he was burdening them with his problems.

/\/\/\

Monday morning was the worst out of that stretch, the worst out of any recent stretch. What little he could feel of his right arm through the numbness was fiery pain. When he opened his eyes it seemed to him the wolf decided to simply use its right front leg as a chewie. It was completely destroyed. Bone stuck out at odd angles, muscle was exposed, muscles were ripped clear out—it was a horrific mess. He couldn't move it at all. Couldn't even twitch his fingers. That's when he realized one of his fingers was gone. His pinky. As he sobbed for some reason all he could think of through the intense, pulsing, red pain was if this invalidated his pinky promise with Lily.

Then he passed out, not waking up until he was in the hospital wing with his entire right arm and hand wrapped up tight against his chest. His eyes fluttered open to see the ceiling of the hospital wing and it took a couple of minutes for him to figure out where he was. Then, grunting, he used his left hand to push himself into a sitting position. As soon as he managed to sit up he promptly threw up all over his lap from the pain in his right arm.

"I'm s-s-s-sorry," he croaked out when Madame Pomfrey showed up. He was half out of bed, struggling to get to his feet.

"Stay in—" She stopped when she saw the sick. "Here. You shouldn't be up." She helped him into the chair.

"Was t-trying to—to—to g-get towel," he explained, slumping down. As soon as he got the last syllable out he began crying, feeling so useless and stupid for getting sick on the bed. He bit his bottom lip, hoping the pain would stop the crying, but since he was in so much pain already it was hardly noticeable.

Pomfrey waved her wand, the bed stripping itself as she left to get clean bedclothes. She brought clean pajamas for him, too, and carefully got him into them while the bed made itself. Thankfully, with magic she was able to get the top on him despite the cast and bandages on his arm.

"Do you think you're up for trying to get some nutrition in you?" she asked as she got him back into bed. He nodded and she brought him a shake that tasted vaguely of ginger. He managed to slurp up half of it before the pain was too much and he had to beg her for something to go to sleep. It wouldn't last long, but he needed something. Anything. She gave him a dreamless sleep potion along with something to lessen the pain and he managed to drift back asleep for a little while.

When he woke up at around ten, he realized there was no way he'd be making it to any of his classes today. Maybe Transfiguration though he'd be unable to perform any spells. Plus he'd still be bandaged up and he couldn't give any excuse for that. No. No classes.

He lay back down, left hand pressed against his face. I only have a few days left and I'm missing one of those days. Unless his arm didn't fully heal before the next day! What if it didn't? It was really bad. How long would it take for his pinky to come back? He peered down at the bandages around his right hand, at where his pinky would be. That section hurt the most and felt incredibly itchy. If these damned abilities include healing why couldn't it include pain relief?

Oh well, he should be happy with the fact he did heal and didn't scar up. That made him think about when he gouged his own eye out, and his stomach twisted up. Magic from Pomfrey or any other Healer wouldn't have been able to heal that. He would have lost his eye completely. His whole face would be nothing but craggy lines, scars criss-crossing everywhere, a giant sign for people to know what he was.

At least I'll get my pinky back, he thought, trying not to be bothered by the pain or itchiness anymore.

/\/\/\

Remus wasn't allowed visitors all day, not that he particularly wanted them. He was utterly exhausted and spent all his time either sleeping or crying from the pain whenever the pain relief potions wore off. When supper rolled around Pomfrey removed his bandages. His arm was still torn up and there was a nubby bit where his pinky was coming back.

"Did something happen yesterday?" she asked as she put clean bandages on him.

"No," he said, knowing what she was thinking. What caused the wolf to be so angry? Was it hearing his friends outside the house? He had heard them out there during another moon… except he couldn't remember how bad the wolf had been that night. Or, was it the fourth moon? No, he'd gone through four moons before without ripping off fingers. Was it feeling guilty over Aegis? He could have easily blamed the cavern, however if that had been the problem he suspected it would have been on the first night, not the last.

"You'll be here tonight," she said, finishing the last wrap. "I'll inform Minerva." She tucked Remus into bed and got him some dinner to eat, some mashed potatoes and boiled chicken. Easy to eat, easy on the stomach.

"Will I make it to class tomorrow?" he asked, awkwardly picking the fork up in his left hand.

He could hear her exhaustion in her sigh. "I don't know. We'll see how you're looking tomorrow."

It's going to take a while to get my pinky back, he thought as he ate. A whole finger regrown. Bones, muscle, nerves, flesh. How could lycanthropy do that? It was something he couldn't figure out and, after thinking about it a little while, gave up trying to. He finished his food, put the plate on the table, and curled back up for more sleep.

/\/\/\

It didn't surprise Remus at all when he was awoken in the middle of the night by his door opening. He jerked a bit then relaxed, waiting for his friends to shut the door behind them before speaking. "Hullo."

The invisibility cloak was yanked away, revealing three very concerned faces.

"Remus!" Sirius ran to his side. "We've been so worried—"

"Pomfrey wouldn't let us visit!" Peter complained.

"And we couldn't say anything about how you should be back in the dorms," added James.

Remus lit his wand so they could see better. At least the lumos spell was so simple he could do it with his left hand. "Sorry. I'm sorry it—it was bad." He pushed himself up, the blanket sliding down revealing the bandages. He didn't need the splint anymore and it wasn't tight against his chest; he was able to move his arm around. It hurt to move it still. Not as bad as it did earlier in the day, but enough that it was clear to him how destroyed his arm had been if it was still like this.

All three of them stared at the bandages on his arm.

"What happened?" Peter squeaked out.

I decided my arm would make a good chew toy. "It was a bad night," he whispered. My—my injuries were so severe I was unable to go to class. I'm hoping tomorrow I can make it. I don't want to spend my last week here in bed."

"Why wouldn't you make it tomorrow?" Sirius asked, sitting on the bed. "You—you… heal."

Remus swallowed, averting his gaze. "Yes. Somewhat slowly, when it comes to… wounds that are dark in nature."

"Yes but… you've never had wounds that last more than a night," James said then his forehead wrinkled. "Have you?"

"Yes. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen." He really didn't want to tell them about his missing pinky. "I mean. I would be fine to return to class, only I can't exactly explain the bandages, since everyone would know it was something that couldn't be healed quickly by Pomfrey—as in, something dark. My—my hand is the problem. The ones on my arm I could hide under my sleeve but I can't wear gloves all day."

"It's Herbology, you could," muttered Sirius.

"Would it hurt if I hugged you?" Peter asked.

"As long as you don't include my arm it should be all right," Remus said and Peter very carefully hugged him, burying his face in Remus's neck.

"I was real worried," he said softly.

"He was very worried," said James. "I mean, we all were but Peter was crying."

Peter jerked back. "I was not!" he squeaked out, cheeks going pink.

"He was," Sirius whispered.

Peter's lower lip quivered. "Maybe—maybe a little. Okay? I think that's kind've understandable considering you almost died a week ago." His voice kept getting squeakier and squeakier. He looked like he might start crying again.

Remus put his left arm around Peter, pulling him in for another hug. "It's okay, it is understandable," he said, rubbing Pete's back. "I'm sorry I made you worry so much."

Peter leaned into the hug. "Just glad you're okay."

Remus reluctantly let go, wishing he could cling to his friend instead, wanting to curl up with Peter and snuggle. "I heard you, by the way. Last night. The fireworks and Sweet Caroline."

"D-did you?" Peter sniffled, pulling the collar of his t-shirt up to wipe his nose off.

"That was fun!" James giggled.

"We weren't sure if you could hear us or not," Sirius said, putting his hand on Remus's shoulder then yanking it away. "Oh! Did that hurt?"

"No, it's my arm, not my shoulder," Remus promised and Sirius put his hand back on his shoulder. "I wasn't sure at first what I was hearing then I realized it was fireworks, then I heard the singing. It was wonderful. Were you caught?"

James shrugged. "Nearly. Some adults showed up right at the tail end of the fireworks and we had to run."

"Into the woods," complained Peter. "The Forbidden Forest!"

Sirius waved his hand. "Towards the stump anyway, not that big of a deal."

"We—" James began but Remus bolted upright. "Shit!" he hissed out. "Pomfrey!" He could hear faint footsteps getting closer. "You have to hide."

They scrambled off his bed, diving for the invisibility cloak. They managed to get it around them and jammed themselves in the far corner just as Pomfrey opened the door. Remus had snatched his book from the table, flipping it open, trying his best to keep his breathing under control.

"I'm s—s-sorry," he stammered out, trying his best to look innocent. "I couldn't sleep."

"I thought I heard talking," she said, peering around the room.

"I—I—I was reading out loud," he said. "I sometimes do that, with dialogue."

She gave him a rather suspicious look then got her wand out, lighting it up. Remus tried not to show how afraid he was as she came into the room… then she crouched down, looking under his bed.

"M-Madame Pomfrey?"

"I thought perhaps your friends might have tried to sneak in," she said, straightening up. "I'm sorry. Have a good night, try to get some rest please."

"Yes, Madame Pomfrey." She left and as soon as Remus gave the all clear the others pulled the cloak off, all of them giggling. Remus flapped his hand, shushing them. "You have to go," he whispered.

All three of them gave him quick hugs before disappearing back under the cloak. They promised to visit before Herbology then left, the door opening and shutting. Remus waited until he couldn't hear them anymore then turned his wand off, settling back in for sleep.

/\/\/\

Remus's hand itched all night and it took a lot of effort not to rip the bandages off to scratch. He kept rubbing his growing pinky against the side of the bed, trying to find some relief from the feeling. At least the itchiness helped keep him from sleeping much, as whenever he fell asleep he had horrid nightmares. He had been having bad nightmares since the cave incident, but since the full moon started the nightmares had grown worse. Now while they were a mix of things, almost every single one of them involved him opening the stone door to find a werewolf on the other side. The one that bit him. As soon as the door opened he was a toddler again, and sometimes he could hear his mother's voice screaming, or his father. Once or twice he heard his mother singing You Are My Sunshine.

These nightmares rarely stopped, filling his head whenever he drifted off. One particularly nasty one that happened that night involved him being bit and his father trying to stop his mother from saving his life, and the two of them watching him slowly bleed out into death.

So, the extreme itchiness of his growing pinky preventing him from sleeping was a rather welcome relief. Once morning came Pomfrey took the bandages off to find faint scarring along his arm and a half-grown pinky.

"Can I go to class?" he asked eagerly. "I feel much better." He knew damn well the circles under his eyes were really bad but at least that could be attributed to exhaustion from an illness.

"And how will you explain this?" she asked, indicating the pinky.

"I—er, I have Herbology first, I can wear gloves," he said, using Sirius's logic. "I'll come here right after. I promise."

Pomfrey eyed him carefully. "That is quite a risk, Remus. For one class? You won't be able to get away with using gloves for Defense Against the Dark Arts."

Remus thought about this. "I'll say it was a spell gone wrong, or a—or I was working on a practice potion and it messed up."

She sighed, shaking her head. "There isn't much that can keep you from class, is there?"

"I'd rather there not be," he replied.

"Very well, if you're truly willing to take the risk…"

I shouldn't be, I shouldn't take any risk at all, he thought, rubbing his arm uncomfortably. Were two classes really worth the risk? That means only one class with Professor Prewett, on Thursday, if I miss today. He looked down at his hand, feeling the itchiness at his growing pinky. He wanted to go to class so bad.

"No." He slumped back in his bed. "No, I shouldn't."

Pomfrey smiled at that and nodded, leaving the room, tactfully not saying that it was the right choice. Remus groaned and thumped his head back against the headboard, feeling positively wretched. Not fair, not fair, not FAIR! I only have a handful of classes left and I can't go to them and—

He threw himself face first into a pillow and screamed, pounding his fists against the pillow, giving a proper temper tantrum. It was very juvenile and immature of him to do so, but he couldn't help it. Plus it felt good to give in to the desire of throwing a hissy fit.

A few minutes after he was temper tantrum-ed out, he heard footsteps and the door opened, Pomfrey letting the other Marauders in. Sirius seemed to be especially exuberant. The three of them bounced over to his bed, finding seats around him.

"Will you be coming back today?" James asked after the door shut.

"Probably not," he muttered, withdrawing his hand into his sleeve. "I—I'll probably be back tonight. Just not for class."

"Is it still that bad?" Pete asked and Remus shrugged, giving a bit of a nod. "I'm sorry."

"It's… all right," he sighed, even though it wasn't.

"By the way, look what we found yesterday." James carefully extracted what appeared to be a clod of dirt wrapped up in gauze. "I bought two."

"What is it?" Remus asked.

Peter began giggling. "Insta-tree!"

"We're going to drop them from the rafters," James explained. "BOOM! Instant trees among the plants!"

Remus began laughing, unable to help himself. "Brilliant. Is that what's making you grin so much?" he asked, turning to Sirius who had been nothing but teeth since he walked in.

Sirius's grin couldn't possibly get any wider. "No," he said, sliding up to sit next to Remus at the headboard. "Guess what?"

"What?"

The grin somehow got broader. "My cousin had her baby! Friday night! A girl! I got the letter this morning." He pulled photos out of his pocket and proudly showed Remus half a dozen pictures. A couple were of his cousin, Andromeda, and her husband, Ted, holding the bundle, but the rest were of the baby. A pink-faced little thing with tufts of black hair. Then there was another one of her with tufts of nearly blonde hair.

"Sirius, her hair has—it's not the same color in these photos," Remus noted.

"Apparently when she was born it was almost blonde and then it turned darker and darker until it became black soon after for some reason," Sirius said, shuffling through the pictures.

"Sirius, that… isn't… normal."

"We can perform magic, you know, Remus," Sirius said, rolling his eyes.

He let out a sigh. "Yes however within that realm of magic there are still things considered odd. Not normal. I mean, I turn into a wolf every full moon. Do you?" Sirius frowned at that and Remus glanced away. "Er, in any case, changing hair color like that so drastically seems very abnormal for a newborn baby. Perhaps she is very magical but… it just feels very strange, doesn't it?"

Sirius ignored him, instead showing off the photos. In one of the pictures the newborn's mouth was wide open as she gave a silent scream, one tiny little fist waving around probably at the indignation of not being inside her mother anymore. "Her name is Nymphadora. Guess Andy didn't want to keep up the Black tradition, not that I blame her. Look at this one!"

It was yet another photo of a squalling, pink-faced baby waving her fists, looking identical to the previous photo of a squalling, pink-faced baby waving her fists. "Adorable," Remus promised to his beaming friend.

"I know technically we're second cousins but I feel like an uncle!" Sirius shuffled through the photos again, grinning.

James and Peter were huddled up near him, going on and on about how cute the baby was, how proud the happy couple must be. Meanwhile Remus studied the photo, trying to figure out how the hell a baby's hair could change color rapidly. He knew hair color could change. He had nearly blonde hair as a baby. However his had darkened throughout the years, not… in the span of a few hours. And not pitch black. Babies could manifest magic, it was just that this seemed to be very… strong and not in line with typical baby-magic. Baby-magic leaned towards things like stuffed animals floating towards them or blankets snuggling up. Comforting things. Not a new appearance. Maybe Sirius's new cousin was an extremely powerful witch with an affinity for self-transfiguration. Or maybe…

"Sirius, nobody in your family is a metamorphmagus, are they?"

"Meta-what-us?" Sirius asked, not looking up from the photo. He was frowning slightly, a small crease in his forehead. Remus assumed it was from the question.

"Metamorphmagus," Remus repeated.

"That's a bloody mouthful," James noted.

"I didn't even understand anything past meta," Peter said.

Remus very, very slowly said, "Me-ta-mor-ph-ma-g-us. It's a witch or wizard who can change their appearance at will. They're very rare." It was generally something one inherited from the family. He was fairly sure that he remembered being told Ted Tonks was a Muggleborn, and he didn't think Muggles could be metamorphmagi.

Sirius finally glanced up and pinched the bridge of his nose. "No. I've never heard the term."

"You okay?" James asked.

"Hmm? Yeah, just a headache." Sirius rubbed his eyes then changed Remus's photo out for yet another squalling, pink-faced baby photo.

"Didn't you say you had a headache on Friday?" asked Peter.

Sirius shrugged. "Your point being?"

Remus wanted to reach out to him but Sirius was on his right side and he didn't want to risk exposing his right hand. He didn't want them to know he bit off his own finger. "Maybe you should talk to Pomfrey."

Sirius gave a very long sigh. "I'm fine! People get headaches all the time. S'nothing to worry about."

"Getting headaches often is something to worry about," Remus said.

"Two headaches in five days isn't often," Sirius sniffled. "Look, if you're going to sit there and lecture me I'm going to take my niece and leave."

Remus smiled and handed the photo back to him. "You have to leave anyway, it's ten minutes till Herbology starts."

They all swore as they grabbed their stuff, apologizing for having to run, then they took off out the door. Remus watched, wishing desperately he could go with them.