Disclaimer: I do not own any of the material appearing in this story. The OC's belong to their respective owners.
King Bill Alternate Take
"MMMPH!" Damian grunted, falling on his knees.
"Ibuki's sure a lot of Marnie-chan's fans wanted to do that to you. You're welcome~!" Ibuki said and then jumped up, swinging her guitar and bashing in his head one more time for good measure, then she quickly did a roundhouse kick and then jumped behind him where she would blast him out of his tank with a fully charged electric blast from her guitar. "That'll show you!" She said.
"Mmmph…" Damian grunted. "Try as you like, human… but you can't deactivate the weapon!" He said, realizing it was fully charged as the Malicious King Bill fired right at the same time as the regular King Bill.
Dink!
THUD!
"Huh?!" Everyone said in shock as the King Bills had falled to the ground, lifeless after they had collided into each other.
"What just happened?" General Guy asked.
"NO! Don't tell me it was a dud!" Damian complained.
Marnie turned her head, her radar picking up on something. "Look!" She said as they turned to see a family of Wooper walking by.
"Oop-ah! Oop-ah!" A Wooper cried as they walked by happiy as one Wooper turned toward the group and happily smiled at them before wandering off.
"Uh… okay…?" Junior tilted his head.
"Hang on, I'm scanning them." Marnie said. "…Oh, that explains it. They all have the Damp ability."
"Ah, I was wondering why it was a little humid…" Kamek mused.
"You mean to tell me… the Dark One's Superweapon has been wasted on these… CREATURES?!" Damian yelled.
"Hey, my King Bill was wasted too!" Captain Slime pointed out.
"AAAARGH!" Damian fell on his knees, pounding on the ground in frustration. "It's not fair! IT'S NOT FAIR! I've done all the calculations… and I've been defeated by mere tiny CREATURES?!"
"…What a baby. Let's go." Sonia said as the tanks went around Damian's tanks.
"CURSE THIS INFERNAL LAAAAAAAAAAAND!" He cried out.
Fellow Pirates
"Kaptain! Kaptain!" A Kremling came running into K. Rool's quarters, then seeing their leader asleep on a hammock.
"Zzzzz…"
"KAPTAIN, WAKE UP!" He yelled.
"Waaaah!" K. Rool yelped. "Where's the fire?! Are we under attack by those infernal Kongs?!"
"No sire, we've made a wrong turn!"
"What? Nonsense!" K. Rool walked out, only to see they were at a massive rock that was shaped like a skull. "Huh? Where are we?!"
"No idea, but I think we're lost."
"Hmmm…" K. Rool folded his arms, then seeing a ship in the distance. "Oh, a pirate ship."
"You think we ought to ask for directions? Figure out where we are?"
"What do you think we are? Of course we'll ask where we are! We'll figure things out from there." K. Rool said as they took off sailing.
At the other pirate ship…
"Keep searching, men! We need to find that buried treasure!"
"Captain!" A pudgy man approached him. "Captain Hook, sir! We have company!"
"Hmm?" Captain Hook looked off in the distance and saw K. Rool's ship approaching. "Another pirate ship? They must be after me treasure! Aim the cannons! Fire on command!" He ordered as K. Rool's ship got closer.
"Cap'n, look!"
"Yes, I can see it, Smee. It's a ship."
"No, but look what's on the ship!"
Hook looked closer, seeing K. Rool approaching. "Why, it's a crocodile!" He said before immediately losing color. "Oh no! No no no no! It's the crocodile who took me hand! When did he learn how to command a boat?! And he brought friends! Oh no, he's after me other hand! And me other body parts if he brought a crew with him!"
"Ahoy there!" K. Rool waved as they parked their ship. "Do you know where we are by any chance?"
"Smee, he's learning how to communicate!" Hook said, hiding behind Smee in terror. "Oh, this is a nightmare!"
"Um, excuse me, Mr. Crocodile!" Smee spoke up. "Would you mind if you left us alone, please? Captain Hook is having a mental breakdown right now."
"Eh?" K. Rool raised an eyebrow. "He looks fine to me!" He said, putting on his propellor pack and started flying over.
"AAAAAAAAAH! THE CROCODILE HAS LEARNED TO FLY!" Hook screamed. "SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! GET US OUT OF HERE!"
"On it, Cap'n!" Smee quickly got to the wheel and they quickly got out of there.
"Wha?!" K. Rool exclaimed as he landed in the water. "Hmph! What's his problem? It's like he's never seen a crocodile before!" He said as he heard ticking, then turned his head to see the crocodile emerge. "Looking for your friend? He's that way." He said as the crocodile nodded and sped after the Jolly Roger. "Hmph, guess we'll have to find someone else."
Villain Switcheroo
Pit wandered around Skyworld, humming to himself. "Hey Pit!" A voice called out as Pit perked up and saw Ruby waving him over.
"Oh hey Rubes!" Pit waved over and ran up to her.
"What'ya doing?"
"Oh, just making my rounds around Skyworld. Wanna join me?"
"Sure!"
"Aw, isn't that cute." A voice spoke up as they saw a god leaning on a tree… and said god had blue fire for hair. "An angel and a human in love… just makes me sick."
"Uh, who are you?" Pit asked.
"Who am I?" The god chuckled, approaching the two and offering his hand. "Hades, lord of the underworld, how ya doin'?"
"HADES?!" Both of them yelled as they took out their weapons.
"Whoa, easy there, short stacks. I'm just here to get the lay of the land here. Also, what is this, a scythe?" Hades took Crescent Rose away from her. "What is this? It looks tacky!"
"I made it myself, thank you very much!" Ruby said, yanking it away from her. "And it's also a high impact sniper rifle."
"Eh?"
"It's also a gun!"
"Yeesh, you kids create the darndest things… how is that even supposed to work?"
"I have a question. Why did you change your look?" Pit asked.
"Oh, your so-called Hades friend decided to do a little switcheroo to see what it's like over at my end. I proceed to torment you and your little friends while the other me goes ahead and bother Hercules for a while. Heh, I see this as a fair trade! I don't get to deal with Wonder boy for a while!" Hades said and then walked off. "Now then, what do we have in this here Olympus-on-a-budget establishment?"
"…Oh, I wonder if this Hercules guy is having a hard time with our Hades…" Ruby said.
"Eh, I'm sure he'll be fine."
Meanwhile…
"Alright, listen here, you not-so-fabulous punk! I've got three words for you! GET LOST!"
Hades laughed. "Ha, nice one. The goatman can't count to three. I didn't realize you worked at Valve!"
"Ooooh, why you…!"
"Easy, easy…" Hercules pulled Phil away. "Alright, so you decided to switch places with our Hades. What of it?"
"Simple, I get to troll people who don't even know me! It's gonna be fantastic!" Hades smirked.
"Riiiiight… just don't make a mess of things."
"Moi? Make a mess? Oh, Herky Boy, we just met! What makes you think I would make a mess?"
"Herky boy?" Hercules mouthed.
"Alright, if you'll excuse me, I'll go see what's in the underworld. Toodle-loo!" Hades said and then disappeared.
"He's going to be a handful." Phil mumbled.
"Eh… I'm sure it'll be fine. It's a different Hades, how bad can it be?"
If Chrom Joined the Group Inside Bowser
"What exactly is this?" Yang wondered, looking into an exposed nerve.
"I think we should hit it." Mario said.
"I got it!" Luigi said as he hammered the nerve.
"AAARGH!"
"Oh, that seemed to have woken him up." Starlow said.
Chrom walked forward. "Stand aside, Luigi." He said, gently pushing him back as he then gave a good solid punch.
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Bowser was suddenly thrown into a wall as a result, which resulted in everyone inside to get thrown about.
"Ow…" Kurome groaned as Chrom got up, dusting himself off.
"Well, that worked out better than I thought." Chrom said.
Arm Center…
Nora swung down on the cannon. "Alright, here we go!" She said, as she hammered away a few sparks as did Mario and Luigi… and then one huge spark went flying over toward Chrom as he quickly swung at it with Falchion, sending it flying toward the muscle.
Outside…
"OOOW! OOOOF!" Bowser yelled, holding on to his arm while letting go of the island. "Rrrgh…"
"You alright?" Kyoko asked.
"I think I just pulled a muscle…" He said.
"I got alll the ? Blocks and Broque!" Aoi reported with a grin.
"Oui oui! She eez a fast swimmer, no?"
Pump Works…
"Here it comes!" He said, throwing the orb toward the Chombone… but he missed and accidently tore through some bones. "Oh…"
"Oooh… hope he doesn't need those." Daisy winced.
Outside…
"GAAAAAAAARGH!" Bowser yelped. "Why do I feel like something just broke inside of me?!"
Flame Pipe…
"Your end has come!" Chrom declared. "AETHER!" He yelled, quickly slashing through the bug… and the Flame Pipe while he was at it. "Oooh… eh, it's just a scratch."
Outside…
Bowser started breathing fire… but it was really weak and he started coughing out smoke. "Uuuugh… what is going on in my body?" He groaned.
To be continued…
Cerberus Woes
"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"
A big plume of smoke popped into Palutena's temple, as Hades walked out with his hair fire completely orange and yellow. "HEY! LIGHT BEAM!"
Palutena approached him. "I have a name, you know."
"WHAT is the meaning of this?" He asked, opening up a portal and showing off Twinbellows. "WHY does Cerberus have TWO heads?!"
"Oh, that is Twinbellows. He was born with two heads."
"WHAT?!" Hades yelled, a small explosion of fire behind him. "That shouldn't even be a thing! Did he have a birth defect?! How am I going to deal with intruders in the Underworld if Cerberus has TWO heads?! Aaaargh! Your dog here is completely inferior to mine!"
"And why is that?"
"Three heads are better than two! You only have two and it's completely worthless!"
"Oh, give him a chance. You'll find him useful." Palutena said and then walked off. "Besides, two heads are better than three. One less mouth to feed and one less mouth to bite you."
Hades opened and closed his fingers in a sarcastic manner. "One less mouth. Pah! Evergreen here thinks she knows what she's talking about. Hmph. Well, I can imagine the other guy is marveling at the sight of my three headed beast."
At Olympus Coliseum…
"Woo Woo! Go beastie go!" Hades cheered Cerberus on as he and Hercules wrestled.
"Rrrgh! What did you even give this guy?!" Hercules said, being pinned down.
"Oh, I gave him a few Super Mushrooms, really powered him up!" Hades said, as Cerberus slammed Hercules to a wall.
The left head spewed out fire, the middle spewed out ice… and the last one shot out a Mega Laser. "Oh yeah, gave two of the heads a Fire and Ice Flower and decided to give the last one the ability to shoot Mega Lasers." Hades said, watching Hercules being turned into an ice statue.
"Aaaack!" Phil yelped in horror.
"Heh, not so wonderful now, are you Herky Boy?" Hades smirked and leaned back onto the seats, chuckling. "Oh, it feels good to pester someone else for a change!"
Poor Herc... he has to deal with Kid Icarus Hades...