Jane observed Father Roberts as he talked, finding him to be an interesting study. She could see at once that he had a quiet confidence, though he was not a quiet man. He possessed the social skills one could expect from a man who interacted often with people from all walks of life. He did not monopolise conversation so that he only spoke of himself, but he was also not reserved and quiet. He had a substantial knowledge of a variety of different things, moving between different topics with ease. He also was comfortable listening, and responded with active interest. Still, it was clear he was not naturally a very warm man. His clearly set beliefs and mannerisms made him rigid, both in his physicality and his speech. He also lacked humour in certain moments which other men surely would have had. It was the only part of his character which was slightly unnatural, even awkward. As a result, Jane found herself wondering how often he smiled and came to the conclusion that it was rarely. There was a weight which rested on his shoulders- a seriousness of his person which seemed to dull happier sentiments.

They had spoken amongst one another for a while before the topic of conversation moved in a more serious direction. Much of what Father Roberts had said was odd for a man in his situation and required explanations of his past, which Edward eventually asked about. Father Roberts did not hesitate when prompted.

"Well I am afraid I have lived an eventful life- too eventful for any person, but especially one of my age. I was born to a poor family. My father worked in the northern mines and my mother earned extra money by doing odd jobs for neighbouring houses when the servants could not complete the work on their own, during house visits and such. She was forced to work, for she had three sons and four daughters. My sisters were all older, and my brothers younger than I, but none of us were married at the time my father died as the result of an accident. It was ghastly and it destroyed my mother. She sunk into a depression and everything in my family changed. Suddenly, it became essential that my older sisters marry and as quickly as possible to the first suitors available. I arrived home one day to find that my oldest sister, Ellen, was gone. It was later explained to me that Portugese sailors who had entered the port had taken an interest, she was brought to church, married, and left for their home country on the same day. I never saw her again, nor have I heard from her as my mother did not take particular note of where she went. I have made inquiries, but heard nothing back. It is very likely I never shall. Soon after this my other three sisters were married off. Two married men similar to my father and made homes close to my mother to care for her. I have always been grateful for this sacrifice. I am sure they would have loved to leave as much as I. My youngest sister married and died in childbirth the following year. It was during all this that my younger brothers were sent away to live with distant relatives who promised to take care of them. After this, I realised I needed to secure a career in order to care for my family as best I could. I flatter myself that I have always been talented with the written word. I studied briefly before being accepted into the seminary. I thought my mother would be pleased, but she was broken-hearted. She hated God for taking my father from her, and she swore never to accept so much as a penny from me if it was money I earned within the church. I must admit this upset me, but I was sure my mothers feelings would change by the time I completed my education. I was wrong. When I returned I found her even more cold and distant, feeling betrayed by my choice to continue with my chosen field. My sister begged me to leave as not to further upset our mother whom she had promised to take in. I did so, but reluctantly. I never saw my mother again, for she died shortly after. I always felt much regret over the way our relationship was when she passed. Had I known, I would have chosen differently".

Edward put his arm around Jane as they listened. She felt her heart pulse with sympathy for the man clearly full of guilt before her.

"So I left. I had no connections and very little money, but no longer had anyone to answer to. I felt free for the first time in my life, though it was dotted with regrets as I have detailed. I first found myself in Devon, and then Kent for several years. I have nothing but happy memories from these times. Suddenly, however, I was asked to move to Yorkshire when a priest there took ill. I was reluctant to leave the south, but I had very little say in the matter. In truth, I found Yorkshire to be harder to adjust to than other posts had been in. I had learned to be comfortable in the company of southerners, and it had been a long time since I was close to home. Still, my ministry was most important to me. Soon enough I settled, and soon enough I began to know my parishioners. Amongst these people were the Bennett's. They were a very wealthy and powerful family who were involved in merchant trade. I did not have much time for them, apart from their daughter Mariah. I found her to be rather plesant and kind compared to her relatives. This sparked my curiosity. She fascinated me with her naivete of the world. She was so...idyllic. She was so filled with hope- with the knowledge, not just the assumption, that all would be made right in the end. I must admit, for a boy from an impoverished youth, this type of language had an appeal to me. She was also so idealistic that she believed anything I told her without question. She wanted to hear about art, and books, and all the worldly things denied to her in her sheltered upbringing. I had the books, and I also had the knowledge. She came often to my church, and I found myself enjoying her visits more and more. But I knew it was not all for selfless reasons that I enjoyed seeing her. Indeed, she stroked my vanity. Because she knew so little she decided I was brilliant and so I suppose I let her assume this, for I never bothered to correct her assumptions. Her naturally easy disposition led me to believe I had the power of making anyone comfortable. This was also untrue. Still, she came and we spoke week after week and nothing could shatter this illusion I had built up in my mind".

He paused now, looking down at the carpet as he spoke.

"I eventually married her. Fool that I was, I married her. She asked me one day if I had ever considered it and I could not believe it. I was in love with her, but she also came from the wealthiest family I knew, so I had never allowed my mind to wander to the possibility. The match would be out of the question, and it was. In spite of protests from her father and mother, in spite of the judgements we received, we married in secret one afternoon. By the time her family found out, the deed was already done. She was cut off immediately and told never to return. At the time she was so elated at our union that she took this news with heart, but shortly after I could see how this weighed on her. Still, she did not complain. We moved back to Devon, and there my old friends were very happy for us. Inside our home, however, things were different. I suspect that she never told me the truth, so I do not know for certain how she felt. I know she smiled often, and I know she made friends quickly and easily, but I also know that she thought about her decision a lot. She would not allow me to see her unhappy, and so she was not unhappy, but in hindsight how could she have been content to any degree? I had taken her away from all she had known, I was gone most of the time, and she had no money to bring her enjoyment. Her facade made it even more painful for me, but I did not push the truth from the lies she told me. I did not want to hear her reality, for I could not come to terms with it myself. Things did not improve until she became pregnant two years later. Now with a purpose, now with a goal, she brightened and so did I. Instead of feigning happiness it was genuine. She planned, walked out in pride so that all of our friends and acquaintances could see, and began being honest with me. I began being honest with her and we could not help but grow together. At that time, we truly started loving each other. She was no longer trying to love who she thought she had married- the worldly, brilliant man, but rather she loved me, a humble priest. It is complicated to describe, but we were happy in our own unique way".

He began twisting his fingers uncomfortably,

"The birth was fast and easy, and so was our daughter's first 6 years of life. She was a spitting image of her mother, and I was glad of it. Bright and talented, she was the type of daughter any father would be proud to have. And then, in an instant, it was all gone. A fire broke out one night when I was out on an emergency visitation. They never even made it out of their beds. I returned to a smouldering heap and found I had lost everything".

"I'm sorry" Jane said, meaning it, "I am so very sorry"

He nodded in appreciation,

"It was a long time ago now, but there are still moments where I wish I could go back in time. If I had been there, I imagine things would have been different. But that is not the way life works"

"No, it is not" Rochester agreed, "I understand the desire, but remorse is the poison of life".

For a moment, a thoughtful silence filled the room.

"I have heard a lot of mean speak of remorse, Mr Rochester, but there is something in your tone which makes me believe you when you speak of it".

"For a long time it was all I felt. Until I met Jane, I did not know another fate could exist"

Father Roberts looked between them curiously, and Edward smiled to himself.

"I suppose now is as good a time as any, Father, to explain to you how I arrived in this home, with Jame as my wife. My story is not conventional, and I am ashamed of who I was for much of my life, but it is a well known story around here. You are certain to hear it from someone if you have not already".

"I assure you I have not" Roberts said honestly, "So you may proceed freely".

Edward looked at Jane and then started, his hand resting comfortably on his crossed knee.

"I was raised in what my family so proudly called their ancestral home, Thornfield Hall. I was one of two sons, though I was never close to my brother who was several years older than me and a vastly different person. He and my father were always close, however, and both were utterly obsessed with money. As mercenary and cruel as they were, they spent my youth planning how they could keep the Rochester fortune intact, for of course it is customary for wealth to be split between sons. I did not know this at the time, but I did recognise how different I was from the rest of my family. As a result, I spent much of my time on my own. There is not much else to comment on in my youth, only that the curiosity I felt for the world kept me from getting into the sort of trouble which follows young boys left to their own devices like I was. When I was a young man, I was sent off to university. I studied biology, inspired by the things which had fascinated me in the gardens and lakes surrounding my house during all of my youth, and graduated with the full intent of beginning a career in this area. When I returned home at twenty, however, I found that my father and brother had different plans. They said that they were leaving for Jamaica, and suggested that I might come with them. I had never travelled outside of England, but they knew of my great desire to see the world and I believed it to be an opportunity to see the sort of things which I had only read about in books. Thinking it would only be several months, I agreed more quickly than I perhaps should have. In hindsight, the speed at which they demanded we depart should have caused me concern".

Father Roberts' brow furrowed curiously.

"On the day of departure my father and brother suddenly claimed they could no longer come. My father argued my mothers poor health kept him from traveling, though everyone in my home knew it had been years since they had cared for one another, if such had ever been the case. My brother, on the other hand, said that he could not go because of a plan to attend university, an interest I had never heard him voice before. Of course, it had all been an elaborate plot to get me to the country on my own, and in that moment I saw it, though I reasoned there could be no harm in leaving. I would still get to see the world, and now I could do it freely without the burden of my family. And so I departed, arriving several weeks later in Jamaica''.

"I hear the country is unlike any other" Father Roberts said, "In stories and in books it almost appears to hold a sort of magic quality over men seeing it for the first time".

Edward smiled, understanding the priests perception without having experienced such for himself.

"It is unlike any other, with sights and smells and colours so different and so vivid from anything we experience here. It was mesmerizing when I first arrived- almost enough to leave someone in a permanent daze. I was struck at the natural beauty, but I was equally struck by the cruelty which existed alongside it. I am not sure, Father, if you have ever seen a slave plantation, but it is a sickening, inhuman sight. Words do not begin to describe what it is to witness enslavement. Privileged to come from this place, I was shocked and disgusted to my very core to witness it daily. I could not, in good conscience, live there for long- of that I was sure. I boarded in a small room in town, very quickly realising that I did not have much to occupy myself with. I began learning Spanish which was easy to do in such a place, as well as refined my French. At night I went to taverns to drink with other young men, but these were future planters who I had nothing in common with. It was a lonely, empty, and wasteful existence. I had decided to return home when I was promptly introduced to Mr Mason, a wealthy plantation owner who had known my father through trade years before. He was warm and friendly, though perhaps I overestimated these qualities in him because of how starved for company I had been over several months. He introduced me to his son, Richard, and I thought I had finally formed an attachment in the country. Richard was not like me, nor were we equals as men, but given the circumstances he was the best I had".

Edward paused for a moment, and Jane sensed that difficulty hung on his lips.

"Shortly after this I was introduced to Mason's daughter and Richard's sister, Bertha. Unbeknownst to me, she was the solution to my father and brother's plan to keep the family fortune intact. Beautiful and tantalising and rich as she was, she was the envy of all in Spanishtown. She began showing an interest in me and, ugly as I was in comparison to her other suitors, I convinced myself that I must have possessed other qualities she was drawn to- more important things than beauty to make me a true contender for her affections. Besides, she had more than enough for the both of us. Still, the situations I saw her in were always manipulated. I would see her at parties where it was loud and crowded so that we barely spoke for more than a few moments at a time. I would sometimes see her at her fathers home where she would only float in and out of a room without uttering a word. It is embarrassing to say now, knowing so much more than I did back then, but I thought that this would be enough for marriage. I did not know marriage is meant to be a joining of equals, for I had never seen such a union in my own life. And of course, the suggestion of me marrying her was being pushed onto me in every possible moment. The Mason's spoke constantly of the desirous match I and Bertha would make and this began to soften my resolve. Deep down I knew her beauty and wealth did not matter. I was wealthy myself after all, and though beauty holds a charm for all young men I had never considered it essential in my future wife. The real appeal of marrying her was the attention I would receive. As it was, the attention which had been shown to me just for catching her eye had made me the talk of Spanishtown. In my ignorance, I did not see this vanity of mine as a problem. And so we were married, before I even knew where I was. Standing at the alter and looking over at my new bride I realised for the first time that she was an absolute stranger to me".

The fire crackled loudly, and the rain still pelted against the windows behind them.

"It was not even an hour after the ceremony that I realised the profound mistake I had made. When I learned Bertha's true character I was forced to accept that we could never have a real union. I had not met her mother before we wed, always having been told she had died, though shortly after the ceremony I learned of her incarceration in a mental asylum on the island. The first germs of the condition were beginning to show themselves in her daughter too, intensified at an earlier age by her excesses and vices. She was violent and crude, manipulative and devious. She only acted distant and cold, except with the men whom she preferred to me. Many nights I wandered the streets looking for her, but could find her nowhere. And, as much as I realised we would never have a loving marriage, I was also forced to realise we would never have a settled home with the abuse and insults she hurled at any servant who walked through our door. With hindsight, I can see that these qualities were due to her illness. At the time, however, I was shocked and ashamed at her crudeness of character. Over the four years we lived in Jamaica I tried very hard to make things work. I tried to be a good husband, even though I knew her illness prevented her from being a good wife. Had I loved her, this would have been easy. But the violence of her temper and the violence of her actions made any tender thoughts or actions impossible. She had sullied our reputations so badly that there was no place which would have admitted us as company. We had no friends, no one who would have us in their home, nor any connections at all as even her father and brother dared not show their faces around us. More importantly was what went on in private. I could not spend one hour, let alone one day, in her company comfortably. We had nothing in common, no similar disposition or beliefs, no shared interests. I was ashamed of myself for what I had allowed to happen. I alone was to blame for the desperate existence I had created for myself".

Jane quietly reflected on all Edward had not shared with their visitor, for he did not allow himself to share all of the unfavourable things about his first wife. In remembering them for herself, however, Jane's heart filled with pity for the poor woman. To be so unwell had to be the worst type of torment this world could inflict upon a person. And then she pitied her husband as a young man, so lost and confused in not being able to help, nor love the women he was bound to absolutely.

Edward glanced at Jane who smiled back encouragingly. Father Roberts observed them as his silent exchange occurred.

"I could say more" Edward finally continued, "Though if I did it would be unfair. I never loved Bertha, nor did I ever respect or revere her, but she did not deserve the fate she suffered. No one deserves to go mad".

"But surely you could have divorced her, Rochester? I know that the church frowns upon it, but in these circumstances how could you be blamed? How is any man to live under such conditions?"

"My wife, by the end of our four years in Jamaica, had been declared insane by doctors there. It meant that I could not, by any legal means, sevre the union between us".

Jane remembered the next part of his narrative which he also did not share with their visitor- the despair that such a realisation had brought him to. How he had stood with a revolver at the end of his bed, deciding what to do with it as he turned it over in his hands. The thought made her shudder.

Father Roberts sat back in his chair looking thoughtful as this newest information.

"I did not know that such was the law. What did you do?"

"At the end of much deliberation I decided to return to England. I thought that it might revive my spirits- at least to the level that they could be revived. My mother had succumbed to her illness shortly after I had left, and I had heard rumours of my fathers failing health. In truth, I did not want him to die without hearing and seeing what he had done to his youngest son and to his family name. So I returned. My father and brother never dreamed I could manage Bertha for weeks on a boat sailing across the ocean, so they assumed they were rid of me forever until I arrived on their doorstep. They were horrified at what Bertha was, and eager to hide what sort of person their son had married to all of their relations. In truth this suited me. I did not want what had happened to my name in Jamaica to happen again in England. This was a miserable existence, almost as bad as life in the West Indies had been, but things changed quickly. Shortly after my return, my father died as did my brother straight behind him, leaving me with what they had never intended for me to have- the Rochester fortune in tact"

Roberts' furrowed brow relaxed as he shook his head at the seeming impossibility of the situation.

"As much money as I suddenly had it did not matter to me. I would have departed with only the clothes on my back if it meant I could go back and fix my mistakes. My marriage had robbed me of happiness forever and there is no worse state of minds for human beings then to lose hope. In spite of this, I set out to make Bertha as comfortable as possible. By this time her illness had degenerated her to a terrible state. She could not be reasoned with, and she could not be controlled except by force, and I would not use violence against her. The doctor who oversaw her care recommended that I place her in a mental asylum".

Edward stopped a moment, a troubling sight passing through his mind.

"I do not know, Father, if you have ever seen the inside of such a place, but it is hell on earth. In spite of everything which had transpired between us I knew I could not leave her there. Her death would have been slow, painful, and miserable. Then I remembered I possessed another house, one which my father used only for hunting and shooting, but I knew that the damp inclement air would have led to her premature death as much as the madhouse. So I did the only thing I felt was right. I left her confined in Thornfield Hall with an attendant who could see to her comfort all hours of the day and night. I knew how tiring the job would be, for I had done it myself for years, so I paid her attendant well, both for her service and secrecy. I hoped that some small measure of contentment would follow for Bertha who was now only lucid a fraction of the time. I knew to think more was possible was fruitless".

"What did you do then?"

"To summarize a decade of empty, mindless, and wasted years it is enough to say that I travelled the world in search of a place which could take my mind off of the horrors at home. I hoped that what I had done for Bertha would be enough to offer some form of atonement, even in my unique situation. I can see now that it was foolish to imagine that my guilt would not follow me, no matter what corner of the earth I existed in. I say existed for to live in such a way is to not live at all. I am ashamed to think of who I was then, but believing you are damned no matter how you live makes a man do reckless things, Father".

Edward trailed off, and Father Roberts suddenly spoke with more conviction than Jane had heard from him before.

"No good man, Mr Rochester, is damned. It does not matter what he has done in his past. Damnation requires present wrongdoing".

Jane looked at Father Roberts, feeling respect for him rise in the compassion he showed. Edward opened his mouth to respond but at that moment Jenny rounded the corner quickly, bowing deeply.

"Excuse me. I am sorry to interrupt, but it is Henry. He is quite upset-"

"I will see to him" Edward said, looking back at their guest. "I am sorry. I neglected Jane this morning and she was forced to deal with our son on her own, and so it is my turn now. You can continue where I left off, sweetheart. At any rate, I am sure you can tell it better than I could"

A moment later he was gone, and Father Roberts watched the place from which he had vanished for a long moment. When his presence of mind returned, he turned back to Jane

"We do not have a nursemaid for our son" she explained, "When Henry cries it is only us who attend to him"

"I was the same way with my daughter. I wanted to determine how she was raised, not some stranger".

"I cannot imagine being a mother and not being involved in my child's life. I do not mean to pass judgement on others, but not having been raised in this environment, it is still rather strange to me"

He looked at her, and she could see an obvious question hanging upon his lips.

She smiled.

"You are wondering how Edward and I were eventually able to marry"

"I must admit that I am" he said, somewhat sheepishly, "You will excuse the perhaps rude question but you just said that you were not raised in this environment. You surprise me".

"It is not rude. I am sure I would have the same question hearing all of this for the first time. I will admit, ours is a rather unusual situation".

Father Roberts nodded once, but then looked expectant.

"Well, as Edward said, I believe I can explain from where he left off. I suppose I must start with my own story, however. Several years ago I was working at a school called Lowood which is in the north and very far away from here. I had been sent there when I was ten and stayed on to teach after I finished my own education at sixteen. I fear that with no family, or at least none who would own me, I had nowhere else to go and had seen too little of the world to imagine life could be different for myself. When I was 18, however, my only friend and former teacher married and left. It was only after this I began imagining more for myself. I thought of advertising as a way to leave, yet it was several months before I gained the courage to do so. When I did, I received a letter from a Ms Fairfax of Thornfield Hall, the housekeeper of Edward's former home. She wrote that she was looking for a governess to teach the masters' ward Adele, who is now our daughter. I accepted, half driven by the desire for a change of scenery and half driven by the fear that if I stayed, I would live and die within the same four walls. I arrived at Thornfield Hall on one cold and harsh November night, but instantly I learned how much I enjoyed the work. I loved teaching, I loved Adele, and I loved being in a place which had more agreeable prospects and more agreeable people than I had known in the whole of my life. Several months passed in contentment, but I found myself wondering the same things I had in my little room at Lowood. I wondered if there was more in the world for me. Wide and vast as it was, I suspected that there were things I had to see, though I confided this to no one in fear I would look ungrateful for all I had been given. The only real dream I had, however, was to save enough money to open a little school some day where I could live independently. It was shortly after this that I met Edward. He returned from his travels one day to deal with some business affairs which could not be handled at a distance.

Jane smiled to herself at the memory.

"He was very different then. Well, different in some ways and exactly the same in others. For the reasons my husband has already explained, he returned jaded and hardened to the world. He was difficult to know, and difficult to read, but he called me to his presence one night and we began talking. I was surprised at how easy it was to be in his presence, how natural our conversations were in spite of our difference in rank, position, and life experience. He liked to talk and I liked to listen. He loved to speak of the world and I loved to learn of it through him. We did eachother much good and I believe I revived him. I was different to the people he had spent his time with, and I think that I reminded him people still existed in the world who lived as he once had desired to live. I saw much good in him, and in truth I saw much more of that then the bad he always insisted he was made up of".

"But you seem quite self sufficient, Ms Rochester- as does your husband. I cannot imagine that you ever needed help in forming who you are".

"Not in forming who I am'' Jane confirmed gently, "I have always known myself. But Edward drew me out of my shell. He made me feel seen and heard for the first time in my life. I had never had another person care for me, and yet he did not pray upon me with such feelings as I know other men would have. It was his friendship, his respect, and the insistence that we were equals which drew me to him, and made me trust him. I did not know how to be vulnerable with another person until I met him, for he was the first and only safe place I had ever known"

Father Roberts looked very thoughtful as he dropped his gaze into the fire.

"It is remarkable. I thought- well, I thought that my marriage would be what you are describing now. Not the same, of course, but I thought that my wife and I would live equally. In the end, I am not sure I did her any true good. I may have provided for her, and I may have given her the child she so wanted, but I did not influence her mind or her soul. I had no right to take her from her all she had ever known. I had no right to marry her. As much as I adored her when she lived, the years since her death has clarified much for me. If I could go back, I would do it all very differently. Perhaps I would not have done it at all".

Jane opened her mouth but closed it again quickly. When Father Roberts saw this he wrongly guessed at what she wanted to say.

"No. My feelings are not such because I am guilty over her death. Their deaths were an accident- a tragedy, but it could have happened to anyone at any time. I just did not have a right to take her life away from her like I did".

"Perhaps that is not fair of you to say" Jane suggested kindly, but somewhat more seriously than she had intended. "I am sure your wife would have felt differently had she been asked if she felt she had given away too much in marrying you. It was her choice, and she chose you. There are marriages built on far less"

"Perhaps" he replied, looking grave, "But she did not know any better. I did. That is why I never should have married her".

Jane nodded after a moment of hesitation, not wishing to push the topic any further. She knew Father Roberts very little and she did not know his wife at all, so it was not fair for her to comment on their union. She half expected to see a sadness fall over his face at this declaration, at this profession of what he thought was wasted love. Instead, a stealiness seized him that had often passed over St John's face which indicated a talent for moving past emotions quickly.

Father Roberts sat up slightly, straightening his back.

"But I digress. Excuse me, Ms Rochester, I interrupted you in the middle of your story".

"I do not mind interjections".

But he only nodded politely, so Jane continued.

"Well, the friendship between us turned into love and it became evident that Edward and I were not to remain platonic friends. We were too close by then, and too alike in so many ways to feign indifference to one another. But as Edward explained, he could not marry me. He wanted to, he asked me to, but it could not be. Knowing what staying with him would have meant, I left".

Father Robert's face fell ever so slightly.

"That must have been difficult, even though circumstances made a union impossible".

Jane smiled,

"It was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do. God speaks of temptations, Father, yet I am not sure that human beings know the meaning of the word until they love another living soul. I wanted to stay with him very much, and like you I had much compassion for what he had suffered, but I could not betray myself. Edward also could not have lived with himself had he tempted me into a life of sin, this I know for certain. So I left, and by the grace of God I ended up arriving at the home of distant cousins of mine, though I did not know this at the time. As I got to know them, I felt my heart begin to lighten for the first time. St John, Diana, and Mary Rivers, the last of whom you have met, welcomed me into their home with more kindness than most other people would have shown. Though I was penniless and friendless, they took me in and looked after me as they would have a sister. I am greatly indebted to their kindness. While staying with them, I worked as a teacher in the local girls' school. The work was rewarding and made the days a little brighter for me. I missed Adele very much, but the little girls there managed to fill a little of that void. Diana and Mary were also a great comfort to me, though they were eventually forced to return to their employment as governesses, so it was just St John and I who saw each other regularly. Over the course of a year he observed my work and found me to have a suitable disposition to be a missionary. He asked me to travel with him to India as his wife, though I could not accept. Even though I did not think I would ever see Edward again, he had shown me a level of love which made entering a loveless marriage impossible, and St John and I certainly did not love one another''.

"And yet, you are married now"

Jane nodded.

"As much as I refused to travel to India as St John's wife, I did consider going if he allowed me to go freely. As far as I was concerned, there was nothing left in England for me. I thought the change of scenery might do me some good, or at least would take my mind off the thoughts which consumed me day and night. I thought that if I left, I would no longer be tempted to go to Edward. But then I realised that I would not be at peace until I knew what had become of him. I had no intentions of speaking to him if I did find him, for I knew how hard it would be to walk away if I did, though I needed to see that he was well before I could make a decision. I returned to Thornfield Hall in search of these answers but found it to be nothing more than a ruin. From a farmhand passing by I learned of the tragedy which had happened there. Shortly after I had departed a great fire consumed the old house, leaving nothing behind but its stone walls and rocky foundation. I was told at the time that Bertha, who was by that time known by all in the neighbourhood, snuck away from her attendant during the night and lit the fires which had ignited the whole house. Later this was confirmed for me. I was also told that Bertha, after having been brought downstairs, ran back through the flames without Edward noticing, for he was helping others to safety. She made it to the battlements at the very top of the house and then, confused and delirious, she jumped".

Father Roberts closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again.

"It was a horrible tragedy. She was not in her right mind, she did not know what she was doing before it was too late. My husband carried much grief for a very long time that he had not reached her in time. You may have noticed the scars on his face. They are the result of his attempts to save her. As he was coming back down the main staircase it collapsed and trapped him underneath. When he was pulled out of the smouldering debris he was just barely alive. One of his hands is permanently damaged, and he was left completely blind, though since he has recovered most of his vision".

"I am sorry to hear such. It is a tragedy indeed on many levels, but I am assuming that this prompted you to seek Mr Rochester out?"

"Yes. I learned that he was staying in his other house which is, as he said, tucked away in a very secluded, damp, and cold place situated far into the trees of a desolate forest. As you can probably imagine, his spirits were very low. We reunited, and he was desperate to learn all that had happened to me since we were parted. He had sent men out looking for me, not to harass me or convince me to return, but to ensure I was well, yet he heard nothing in response. As a result, he had assumed the worst. I told him all about my life in the year we were apart, and then he answered all of my questions in return. We talked for a very long time that day, and then for several days after, before we were married in the small church on the edge of the property with no one but the priest for company".

In truth, Jane did not often retell the story of how she and Edward came to be together again. It was already well known by most people who lived nearby. Afterall, it had been quite the scandal when the young governess that Mr Rochester had once tried to marry under false pretenses returned to him and married him. Since this, however, it had simply become a well known story On a more personal level, Jane did not like to repeat the story often. This was not because she was ashamed of it, but because she was private in nature, and felt a great protection over her marriage. In spite of this, Father Roberts had been so honest with them, and Jane could see that he was not quick to pass judgement. She saw that he was disciplined in the belief that forgiveness is the highest calling of man, just as St John had been, but was clearly more worldly and knew better how complicated human lives can be.

When she concluded her story, Father Roberts merely stared at Jane thoughtfully. His eyes did not have the richness of her husbands, nor the ocean of feeling he possessed, but they were not apathetic. He paused before speaking.

"In spite of so much sadness and so much loss, I am very happy that things worked out for you"

He dropped his gaze, knitting his fingers together.

"I must admit, before coming here I spoke to neighbours about you. You and your husband intrigued me when I met you at your man's funeral. I am not sure why. I suppose you simply felt different to everyone else I had met here so far. People are so eager to confess the wrongs and mistakes of others, though not one person I spoke to had anything ill to say about either of you. I was surprised, for people always seem to have something to complain about. It made me feel certain you were both good people".

"That is very kind. It is also comforting to hear because as you say, one never does know how their neighbours feel about them. If we are indeed different, I suppose you now may have an insight as to why. If Edward had asked me to marry him with nothing but two shillings, I would have done so gladly. I was not raised to be any woman of significance, but I was raised to believe that other things matter far more".

Father Roberts breathed deeply,

"I believe that all forms of society, no matter where, must be made up of opposing aspects of human nature. Rich and poor, the blessed and the unlucky, the empathetic and the cruel all must coexist together. It is simply God's design. But people such as your family seem to be able to bridge the gap between such extremes with grace".

The sound of footsteps approaching broke their conversation and Edward rounded the corner a moment later. Jane smiled at him as he approached.

"Forgive me for the interruption. Have I missed anything important?"

"You have missed it all, I am afraid"

"Ah" he said, sitting down beside his wife and laying his arm easily over the back of the couch. "I suppose it is a good thing, then, I do not need to be filled in".

"Indeed not. Your wife did an excellent job at finishing your tale, Mr Rochester".

"I have no doubt" he replied, "You will by now know what a talented creature my wife is".

Jane blushed under his look ever so slightly, but only enough for Edward to notice.

"And that is why, Father, some marriages work so well. Deceit is key, at least to some extent".

The men chucked and Father Roberts sighed.

"Thank you, for being so honest with me. I sometimes feel as a priest that people change their behaviour around me in order to soothe some sort of sensitivity I must possess as a man of God".

Edward nodded,

"Then I will continue to be honest with you, Father. I must confess that although I am a man of God, I have little time for the church itself".

"Please, do explain Mr Rochester"

"Well, I believe God cares for man regardless of whether or not he steps foot in a church to speak his prayers. I even wonder if he values a sincere, brief, and spontaneous prayer over a memorised one. That is perhaps why I have no reservations when it comes to being honest with you. I mean no disrespect, and others certainly need guidance in finding their way to God, but I prefer to speak to him directly".

Father Roberts raised his shoulders before dropping them again.

"My role, Mr Rochester, is as you say guiding people towards God. If someone arrives at him on his own, then I am freed from the obligation of being their priest and can be seen simply as a man, or acquaintance, or even friend. As I said, it can be painful when I am seen first as a priest rather than a man. I would prefer it to be otherwise".

Jane smiled softly at a memory.

"St John, whom I have told you about, felt similarly to you. He wanted to guide people towards God. He wanted to be their inspiration for living a better life. At the same time I rather think he took comfort in the fact that he could avoid personal relationships in his congregation by keeping the barrier up between who he was as a priest and as a man".

"I have met such men in my profession before, Ms Rochester, though such is not my way. Tell me again, St John is the brother of Mary whom I met at Lady Denver's house?"

"Yes, indeed".

"And they are your cousins?"

"Yes, along with Diana who lives a little ways off from here with her husband Captain Franklin".

"And what, may I ask, happened to Mary's husband?"

A silence filled the room for a moment which made Father Roberts drop his head.

"I apologise. To ask such was thoughtless of me".

"No" Jane confirmed, "It is not thoughtless, it is only difficult to discuss".

Father Roberts tilted his head slightly and Edward spoke.

"Mary was...attacked by her former employer in the most cruel and violent way. She was left with his child".

"I see," Father Roberts said, "I am sorry to hear such. But I know that other children would have been cast out on the world friendless, and I could tell from the way she spoke that she loves her son. I have quite a lot of respect for such. And in my profession I have learned that all lives, no matter what a person claims, are not as stainless or simple as one may like to suggest"

Edward chuckled as Jenny rounded the corner,

"Pardon me, but dinner is ready".