Prompt: What if Deeks had given Kensi an out the night before the weeding instead of going to Sam's ? Angst please Thanks

A/N: Angst as requested. I decided Kensi probably stayed at her mom's house since it wasn't stated.

Kensi rolled over in bed, unable to sleep. She wasn't nervous, well not at least the way most people would assume, but she was filled with anticipation. It seemed a little impossible that in less than 24 hours she would be a married woman.

She held up her hand so a faint beam of moonlight danced of the diamond in her engagement ring. Tomorrow she'd have two rings and Marty Deeks would officially be hers, forever.

There was a quiet thump, that came from another part of the house and Kensi instantly stilled, listening. After a minute, she heard a second thump and she quickly grabbed her gun, tiptoeing out the room. It was a little harder to navigate her mom's house in the dark, but she managed to make it into the living room without making a sound.

"Don't move," she hissed, leveling her gun at the tall figure in front of her. He turned around slowly and she dropped the gun to her thigh in surprise. "Deeks? What are you doing here?"

"Oh, hey, I kind of ran into the couch a couple times," he explained. "Sorry I woke you up."

"Is something wrong, are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine. Well, not fine, but not exactly hurt." He blew out a long breath.

"Wait, did you just break into my mom's house?" she asked suddenly. She couldn't see much more than an outline of Deeks' figure, but she thought he looked offended.

"No, of course not! I used the key she gave us."

"That was supposed to be for emergencies," she reminded him, moving closer so she could lower her voice.

"And this happens to be an emergency," he insisted and she rolled her eyes. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she said,

"C'mon, we better go to my room before my mom wakes up and thinks you broke in to have sex with me or something."

"I had a key." Ignoring him, Kensi grabbed his arm and took him back to her room, flipping on light before she plopped down on her messy bed. Deeks didn't join her, but remained standing, aimlessly wandering the room. Now in the light, she realized he looked frazzled.

"Babe, what's going on?" He blew out another slow breath.

"We're getting married tomorrow."

"I realize that," she said calmly. "I helped address 200 invitations."

"We'll be together forever. Like forever forever," he added, his voice sounding strained and Kensi finally realized that he looked panicked. Her stomach tightened.

"You're not getting cold feet, are you?" She hated to ask it, but she didn't know what else to think.

"No. No. Maybe a cold finger or a chilly appendix," he said, his smirk more of a grimace.

"Deeks, did I do something-what…?" she trailed off, not sure what to say and feeling like her world was imploding. Deeks, seeing her distress, automatically sat down next to her and wrapped his arms tightly around her.

"You didn't do anything," he assured her. "You didn't do, or say, anything wrong. It's me I, um, what if I'm not worthy?" He blurted the last part and Kensi pulled back, frowning.

"Not worthy of what?"

"You. I'm starting to feel like I tricked you into falling in love with me. If I love you, and I do love you, that means that I have to recognize the fact that maybe there's somebody out there who's way better for you than me," he said and Kensi gaped at him. He believed every word he'd said, Kensi could see it his eyes. His eyes were focused on some point beyond her, like he couldn't bear to look at her.

"Deeks," she started, cupping his face between her palms. He jerked away, standing and swiped a hand under his nose.

"I just want to give you a chance to back out," his voice trembled and he sounded close to tears. Stunned, Kensi just watched him for a moment as a sense of growing horror filled her.

"Baby, I don't want anyone else. I want to marry you."

"But there so many guys that aren't messed up like me, who haven't done the things I've done. What if we get married and you realize that you made the biggest mistake of your life?"

He turned towards her, reaching up for his hair and then dropping it halfway there. His eyes were damp and felt her own heart clench in sympathy as tears filled her eyes. She squeezed them shut for a moment, pulling in a slow, calming breath.

"Deeks, come here," she said, holding out her hand. He hesitated. "Please." That seemed to do the trick; he crossed over to the bed in two steps and took her hand. Kensi clasped it between her own, her grip tight, like she could keep him there by sheer will.

"You are perfect," she said firmly and he laughed, the sound broken.

"No, I'm not. I've made so many mistakes, Kensi," Deeks told her.

"Well, I'm not perfect either. But that doesn't matter, because we make each other better and you are perfect for me." Kensi gave his hand a small tug and he didn't resist this time, sinking on the bed beside her.

"I don't want you to regret this," he whispered hoarsely. Pressing her lips together, she wiped away the tears that had started to trail down his cheeks. It broke her heart that he could think he wasn't good enough, that he thought of himself this way.

"I won't. I don't," she assured him. "I love you, Marty Deeks. I love you despite and for all your flaws and weaknesses, real and imagined. And I cannot wait to marry you tomorrow in front of everyone we love."

"Are you sure?"

"I have never been more sure of anything in my life." She jerked him against her, sealing her words with a kiss. In the only way she knew how to emphasize them. When he pulled back, she still kept him close, holding his head against her chest.

"I love you too, Kensi Blye," he murmured, his cheek smooshed by her shoulder. "Thanks for not shooting me for breaking into your mom's house." She chucked wetly, running her hand through his hair.

"I would never," she promised. And if it was the last thing she did, she would make sure Deeks knew he was worthy of her love, she promised herself.