A/N: So a little while back, I wrote a series of drabbles/stories about Kensi trying to figure out Deeks' middle name. I think some people requested one where she quizzes Roberta about it.
"Hey, do you have a copy of Deeks birth certificate?" Kensi casually asked Roberta one Sunday morning as she helped prep and clean the bar.
"I think so," Roberta said, frowning and then nodding. "Yeah, it should be somewhere in my file cabinet at home. Why do you ask?" She twisted to look at Kensi, her arms covered in soapy water up to the elbows.
Kensi shrugged, trying to seem nonchalant and not let her eagerness show.
"Oh, we just can't find the original. Maybe I can grab it when we're done today."
"Well, if it's not an emergency, why don't I bring it in tomorrow when Marty's here? There's no reason for you to drive all the way over to my place if you don't have to."
"It's not a problem," Kensi said quickly. Too quickly. Roberta turned around completely to scrutinize her, reminding Kensi very much of Deeks. It was annoying how similar they could be at times.
"Ok, spill. Why do you really want Marty's birth certificate?" Roberta asked, placing a damp hand on one hip.
"I told you, we can't find the original."
"Kensi, we both know he's not the type of person to misplace important documents."
"Fine, I need to see his birth certificate because…" she trailed off, scratching the side of her head uncomfortably.
"Because…?" Roberta prompted. Kensi sighed and finally blurted out the truth.
"I need to see Deeks full name. I don't know his middle name. I know, I'm a terrible wife, but it's the truth." Kensi crossed her arms when she finished, waiting for Roberta's condemnation.
Surprisingly, she squeezed Kensi's shoulder and pulled her into a hug.
"Oh honey, you're a great wife to Marty. I know he's happier than he's ever been," she said.
"I still feel pretty crappy about it." Roberta snorted at that, rolling her eyes.
"Believe me, you will do a lot worse than that over the course of your marriage," she said and Kensi frowned.
"Was that supposed to cheer me up?" she asked doubtfully.
"You kids take these things too seriously." She picked up a glass washing it over the floor. "By the way, why do you suddenly want to know now Marty's middle name?"
"Because I only just found out that the "A" doesn't stand for Andrew," Kensi mumbled sheepishly. Roberta laughed out loud at that.
"That's not even close," she said, still chucking to herself.
"Ok, then what is it?" Kensi's tossed her hands in the air in exasperation.
"Oh, I can't tell you. I promised Marty years ago that I would never, ever tell anyone."
"That's ridiculous. It can't be that bad." Roberta sighed and said,
"Marty thinks it is." She rolled her eyes. "It was the 70's and we did some crazy things back then." That made Kensi even more curious. What the hell did her husband have as a middle name?
Taking Roberta's soapy hands between hers, she tried to channel her inner three year old self, begging for a second serving of ice cream.
"Deeks doesn't ever need to know. I can make a whole list of ridiculous names and then slowly guess over time so he doesn't get suspicious," she said reasonably.
"I don't know," Roberta said uncertainly, her resistance wavering.
"You don't even have to show me the birth certificate, I can find it on my own." Roberta considered Kensi's suggestion as she waited breathlessly. Then she shook her head adamantly.
"No, I can't, Kensi. I'm sorry, hon, but a promise is a promise," she said. Kensi sighed in disappointment. It was worth a shot. Now she'd be back to nagging Deeks until she either guessed it or he gave in out of frustration. The latter was unlikely given Deeks own ability to maintain even the most ridiculous argument long past reasonable expectations.
"No, that's ok. I shouldn't have asked you to break a promise to Deeks. I don't know what I was thinking," Kensi said. She was disappointed, but shouldn't have expected Roberta to actually betray her son. Even if the subject matter wasn't all that serious.
Roberta's expression suddenly turned mischievous and she leaned in conspiratorially, even though it was just the two of them.
"I might not be able to tell you the actual name, but I can give you a hint." She gestured for Kensi to come closer. "Think of beauty." Roberta nodded significantly and Kensi frowned.
"What?"
"That's all I can tell you," Roberta said firmly, turning back to her work. Kensi shook her head, wondering how "beauty" was supposed to be a helpful clue. It seemed like she'd be threatening Eric into digging up Deeks' birth certificate after all.
A/N: Far before this idea occurred to me, Psyched wrote a wonderful story on this theme called, "What's in a Name?".