After Seth Part II
Thad checked the clock once Skylar had left the room again, and he saw that it was now the time that he had given out for the group chat. He quickly logged into the room on Skylar's computer, but did not activate the camera, wanting to check the list of names to see how many were present first. That there was no sign of Edward and Colin was as he expected, and the fact that Flint was absent was no surprise either, given that he had other things to occupy him. He could explain that absence away, if Beats had not already done so, apologising to everyone for his best friend's absence. He also noted that his decision to extend the invitation beyond the usual core group of Warblers had been vindicated. As he had hoped, Mason was online, as were Mike, Kitty and Santana…
He was about to switch the camera on when his phone buzzed with an incoming text message; he checked it, and saw it was from David. It read "This is what I think it is, isn't it? I'm right behind you…" Thad allowed a smile to appear on his lips for just a moment, pleased that David had been kind enough to text him, and that he had worked it all out; then again, he suspected that others would have an inkling too. He took a deep breath, and allowed the other cameras to come up on the screen; then he took a deep breath, and switched on his own, but did not look directly at it, looking at the others instead; he saw a mixture of expressions, but heard an overwhelming silence, something that had never happened before in any previous group chat… There was usually someone talking…
He looked at the cameras quickly, but still caught the expression on Trent's face, and he knew at once that the perceptive young man was fully aware of what was coming next; Nick looked worried, and that was because he knew something was wrong, and he was still in the office, whilst Jeff was at home alone, and if things were bad… Thad took a breath, then raised his head, and spoke.
"Gentlemen, and Ladies, there is no way to sugar coat this... just over an hour ago we lost one of our own. Seth suffered another sudden and severe attack, and I'm afraid that this time it proved fatal. Skylar was with him, and he tried his best to revive him, but to no avail. Obviously there will be a funeral in due course, in all likelihood here in Westerville, but I do not know exactly when as of yet. I'm afraid that because it will be classed as a sudden death, there will have to be a post-mortem carried out by law, and that will delay things…"
He fell silent then, and observed the other cameras, not a smile to be seen on any of them any longer. Jeff was crying, and he was not the only one. In fact, Mason was sobbing, and Thad was glad to see that Marley and Cooper had both been in the room with him, but not on screen, as they were doing their best to comfort him. He noticed then that Mike had vanished, leaving Tina sitting alone, and for a moment he was shocked at the dancer's swift departure. Then he saw him reappear next to Jeff, having let himself into the house down the street with his spare key. He pulled the crying blond into his arms, and they all saw Nick mouthing the words 'Thank you' to his friend, given that he would be stuck at his desk for a little longer yet…
"How's Skylar?" came the sound of Trent's voice, as he was the one that was brave enough to voice the question that they had all wished to ask.
"When I arrived at his place, summoned by Julia, he was pretty distraught, as you might have expected. He is a lot calmer now, but I am not sure if that is a good thing; he could just be putting on a front for all of us. If that is the case, then we all need to keep an eye on him and handle the whole situation with the greatest of care. He is going to need kid gloves for a while…"
Trent nodded, allowing himself to think that if there was any one of them that could talk about such things with authority, it was Thad, given how he had been when Wes had passed away. After all, after an initial outpouring of grief, he had become cool, calm and collected, and had remained that way right up to the end of his memorial; only then had he retrieved the knife he had secreted in the auditorium at Dalton and made his failed suicide attempt…
"I take it that you have already spoken to Edward, given how close he was to Seth, and that is why he is not with us?" asked Ethan quietly. There was silence as Thad nodded, and they all knew that he would be exceptionally upset too.
"You might also have noticed that Flint is not with us; he called me just before I came into the room, to ask me to spread some news, and I am afraid that I had to dampen his spirits by imparting the news of my own. He wanted you all to know that Izzy has had the baby, and he now has a daughter. Beats will of course already be aware of this…"
"He was so thrilled… they have decided to name the little lamb after his mother, which is brave," responded the beatboxer, trying to smile at the idea…
"We will all need to send him our congratulations on that," said Sebastian wisely. "Just a quick text to say how pleased we are for him and Izzy. The timing could not be any worse though; each year Flint will have a reminder of the day that we lost Seth, a reminder of tragedy…" There was silence again then, as they all recalled the couple who did not celebrate their wedding anniversary for a similar reason. Flint couldn't avoid celebrating his daughter's birthday though…
Thad cleared his throat, and said, "Right, I think what Seth would want us to do now is get back on with our lives. There isn't much more to say anyway. As soon as I have a date for the funeral, I will pass it on. I also need to go and see Mrs Carmichael now, because she is going to be hit hard by the suddenness of his passing…"
"Of course she will be, given all that she has been through in her own life," said Cameron sagely. "Will you give her all of our love as well as your own?"
There was a chorus of agreement at that sentiment, and then, one by one, people began to sign off, realising that what Thad had just said was right. There was no point in long conversations or prolonged reminiscences now. There would be time enough for that once was the living had been dealt with, on the day of the funeral.
With the computer screen now blank, Thad logged off, and sighed, suddenly feeling the weight of it all upon him. He jumped when his phone started to ring and he answered it without checking who it was first.
"Right, I will be arriving at Dalton tomorrow; you cannot cope with all of this on your own."
"David, much as I appreciate the thought, there is no need," replied Thad. "Mercedes and your children need you around more than I do."
"She agrees with me on this; that at this particular moment, she had less need of me than you do. In any case, we are all coming tomorrow. My mom will be only too pleased to have us all stay for a while, and Mercedes' folks will be pleased to see us too. I will have your back in all of this, Thad; I might have been as much use as a chocolate teapot when Wes died, but this time things are going to be very, very different…"
"You were grief stricken at the time, David, so your reaction was a very natural one. You had just lost your best friend, someone that was like a brother to you…"
"And you had lost the love of your life, but unlike me, you were able to cope and function normally."
Thad scoffed at that, saying, "Yeah, functioning normally whilst all the time plotting a dramatic ending to my own life, Davy! I would hardly say that I coped well! The thing is that we now have almost identical reactions going on from the two people closest to Seth now; Skylar seems very rational and calm, whilst Edward is drowning in a flood of his own tears… I will need to check up on him later, call Colin and see if his husband is in any better a state. Right now, I need to head back to Dalton and see how the Carmichaels are doing; I have an idea that Mrs Carmichael will not have taken this well at all. I did not mention this earlier, and do not repeat it even to Mercedes now, but she was supposed to be taking care of Seth all of this afternoon, but she broke a tooth and had to head to the dentist in a hurry because she was in significant pain. They all thought that Seth would be okay on his own for a short while… Worse, and this really has to stay between us, yes, he had an attack, and yes, that undoubtedly killed him, but there might well have been another factor at play. There was a loaf of crusty bread on the countertop when I got to Skylar's place, with a slice cut out of it. We both know how much Seth loved good crusty bread, and Skylar told me that Seth had been choking when he arrived home. I think that it was that bread that he was choking on, and it was brought to the house by Mrs Carmichael…"
"Wasn't his first major attack due to a bit of bread too? You know, the one where he said that Finn had saved him in the nick of time? That was how he ended up having to stop eating dairy products, because they thought that it was the butter on the bread that had caused the issue? What if it was the gluten in the bread instead?"
"Those sort of questions are pointless now, Davy. It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things," responded Thad, quietly but firmly, shutting the subject down. "It was his appointed time, and that is that…"
Nevertheless, that was all that Thad could think about for the next hour or so. He checked in on Skylar and Julia, the former looking through all of his old photos from school, his wife sat at his side listening as her husband waxed lyrical about his best friend. Thad announced that he was heading home, but that he would be back the following day; he would bring Mrs Carmichael and hopefully, the funeral papers that she had been holding onto for Seth. "It would be good to see her," admitted Skylar. "I need to see that she is okay for myself. And yes, we do need to see the plans as soon as possible so that we can ensure that he gets the send off that he wished for. It is what he deserves, and will have. At the same time, we need to ensure that everyone that would like to be here can be. It will be one of the biggest gatherings of Warblers and their closest friends for some time, and it just has to be perfect…"
"I don't think that anyone can guarantee perfection," replied Thad softly, "but we can do our best to show the whole world just how much he meant to all of us. After all, I am sure that he will be watching us all, wherever he might be, hopefully with those others that have passed away before him for company."
Skylar nodded at that, and Julia smiled, as she rarely found her husband to have much time for matters of faith and religion, and that worried her. He did seem to have a firm belief in the concept of angels though, and so she was quite happy for him to imagine Seth, his body back to what it used to be, sporting wings and possibly a halo…
Thad took his time as he drove home, dreading the moment that he returned to the confines of Dalton Academy, knowing that would mean having to deal with someone else and their grief, and possibly guilt. As he parked in his designated space, he considered just heading straight for home, but he knew that even if he had not been spotted as he arrived, he was quite probably expected. He walked slowly back to the Carmichaels' house, and knocked gently on the door. It was answered by the former Principal, and Thad immediately noted that he looked older, his face more lined and care worn than it had been last time he saw him. He beckoned him in, then pointed him in the direction of the sitting room…
Thad headed there on his own; that was not unexpected, as his arrival gave Aaron just a brief respite from dealing with his wife's grief, albeit only for a few minutes. He found Mrs Carmichael sitting in her usual chair, but the look of total misery and devastation on her face was one that he had never seen before, even after Wes had died. She looked up, and on seeing him, urgently asked, "How is Skylar? Is he coping? And poor Julia… They must hate me…"
"Why on earth would they? No-one knew what was going to happen this afternoon, and thanks to you, Seth's last days were less painful; he was able to eat again and feel less like an invalid. He told me as much," said Thad kindly but firmly. "And before we get onto walnuts and teeth, you know as well as I do that today was his designated day, and always was. He would have died, whether he had been surrounded by company, or on his own. As it was, he passed away wrapped in Skylar's arms, and that is probably the best way that it could have ended for him."
"I know, and you are right, but I could still understand if there was a little resentment of me nonetheless. If I had still been there, then maybe he could have passed away in the comfort of his bed, not sprawled on the kitchen floor… I called Hayden, and asked him what had happened, and he told me eventually. If I had been there, then he would not have been alone when the attack hit in the first place. He was just far too young… Why couldn't those in charge of the angelic realms have taken me in his place? I have had my life after all, and he still had so much to give to the world…"
"If I am being honest," said Thad, sitting down beside her, "I feel exactly the same way. I know that I am still young too, but if it had been me, then I would be in the arms of my husband right now… Why it was Seth that was chosen will never be explained to us, but the powers that be must have made their choice for a good reason, I assume…"
"I am sure that you are right, but I will never understand why they take young people… He wasn't even in the worst of conditions today either; he was so happy, and in a place that he loved. Still, he wasn't alone when the time came, for which I am glad. Our task now is to keep an eye on Skylar, just to make sure that he really is coping and not putting on a façade…"
"That goes without saying; however, there is a second complication that we might possibly have failed to anticipate…"
"You mean Edward? I actually did expect that he would be left very upset when Seth passed away, so I made time to have a few one on one conversations with Colin about the topic, and he is well prepared to cope with the worst that can be thrown at him. We just have to hope that Edward will recover a little more quickly than Skylar, given the distance he is from here. The problem for Skylar is that every time that he steps into his living room right now he will see that old leather chair, and he will see it empty. It will be a constant reminder…"
"I should have thought and offered to remove it for them! I will speak to Julia and see what we can arrange…"
"Oh, but you cannot take it away. Yes, it will remind him, but if it suddenly isn't there that will be as bad, if not worse! Hopefully once he has read the letter that Seth left for him he will find things a little easier to deal with. I did make a few suggestions to Seth and he took them on board; he wrote them down in his instructions for Skylar…"
"On that subject, I think that is a task for us all tomorrow? All meet up bright and early so that we can get started on everything that is required of us…"
"Not too early - might I suggest that we convene at Skylar's house for 10am, if that is okay for him? I would call myself and ask, but…"
"He wouldn't slam the phone down on you, nor would Julia for that matter…"
"They might not blame me, but I am afraid that I do blame myself. For that reason I am afraid that if I did call, I would be unable to speak when they answered, and I would be the one to hang up, unable to think of what to say…"
Thad left the Carmichaels shortly afterwards, and headed home, sending a quick text message to Julia as he walked, enquiring if the time that Mrs Carmichael had suggested would be okay by them. As he placed his key in the door lock, her reply came, in which she stated that it would be fine. She also enquired as to how Edith was, saying that she was worried that she would be feeling guilty, as she shouldn't be, and that was coming from Skylar as well as her. Thad quickly replied that she was okay, but that they would be able to talk better face to face the following day. With that he switched his phone off for a while; he craved a little time to himself without disruption. However, as he walked in and closed the door behind him, he noticed that the light was on in his sitting room, and he had not put it one before he left. That was when he recalled a conversation that he had had a month ago…
"Hello Wessie, I am sorry I have been away so long…" he said as he entered the room.
"It's okay; you had all of the living to take care of too. Before you ask, he is okay; upset, but that is only to be expected, blaming himself for giving in to the temptation and eating that bit of bread. And of course, he is worried for Skylar, Edward and Mrs Carmichael… I left him with Kurt and Blaine, and as I went he was joking about how the pain of growing his wings is nothing compared to that of his MND…" said Wes, then he paused, and when he spoke again, his tone was sadder. "It broke my heart watching Skylar trying to save him; the look on his face when he knew that the moment had arrived, and that I or another angel had already taken Seth away from him… I now appreciate how Blaine felt when he had to collect me. It is your job, and you want to do it right for the person you are collecting, but you also know that you are going to hurt other people that you care for just as deeply…"
"Well, that is why you are lucky, like Blaine, to have a husband that cares for you deeply too, and will take you into his arms and hold you close, particularly if you feel that you need to have a really good cry about the whole thing…" Wes nodded, and let Thad take him into his arms. However, the angel did not cry, knowing that his tears would not alter the circumstances, and that there would be little peace for him or any of the others until he was able to bring Seth back, resplendent with wings, to see his best friend once more….
It would be later than he intended when Thad woke up the following morning. By the time that Wes had left him, it was well after 1am; then he had realised that he had not eaten since lunchtime, and by the time he had done so, it was past 2am by the time he crawled into his bed. In the process, he had forgotten to set his alarm clock, and it was only the sound of someone knocking on the door of his little home that roused him. He glanced at the clock, and on seeing it was 9am, he jumped out of bed, flinging on his robe as he hastened to answer the door.
He flung it open, and did a slight double take. His visitor just shook their head, a hint of a smile on their face, and said, "I will go and put the coffee on. You go and get washed and dressed; you have at most 40 minutes before Mrs Carmichael is over here, wondering where you are, and why you aren't ready…"
"Okay, but firstly, how on earth did you manage to get here so quickly David?"
His best friend laughed, and said, "When you are married to one of the biggest names in popular music, your wife can call her label, explain that she has a family emergency and needs to be in Ohio urgently, and a couple of hours later you will be on a private jet, with your family, heading to your mom's place. She and Mercedes both send you their love by the way. Anyway, unless it is your intention to turn up at Skylar's place in your pyjamas, you need to get changed. Oh, and before you ask, I am coming with you. There is always a place for an extra pair of hands in a situation like this, and I am now entirely at your disposal…"
Thad could not argue with his best friend's logic, and he allowed David to head towards the kitchen as he jumped into the shower, then quickly shaved. As he put on clean clothes, dressing in monochrome as a mark of respect, and to show that he was in mourning, he realised suddenly that he could smell cinnamon toast being made. It had always been one of his guilty pleasures in the dorms at Dalton, but not something that he had enjoyed for years; he had been content to just spread his plain toast with his favourite blueberry conserve. Now he craved what David was making for him. He guessed that a part of that was down to a desire to return to a time when his life had been less complicated; his younger days, when the world at large had seemed good…
He headed to the kitchen, to find his place set at the table; David motioned him to his seat, where a glass of juice was waiting, alongside the pot of freshly brewed coffee. As he sat down, he was presented with a plate stacked liberally with the toast. "I had a sudden craving for cinnamon toast last night, and my mom made me some this morning, but I decided that you deserved to have some too; a reminder of our midnight feasts in our senior year at Dalton."
"What was always a miracle to me about them was that none of the others ever showed up!" said Thad with a laugh, and then he caught himself and stopped abruptly.
"I have a feeling that Seth wouldn't mind if we laughed now and then, even now," said David wisely. "He liked his jokes, and zany comedy films…"
"Skylar told me that at the end of his first college year in New York, he went with Seth, Colin and Edward to see The Play That Goes Wrong. Seth started laughing from the moment the cast came on stage, and he howled with laughter for most of the remainder of the evening; he said it was almost embarrassing, as everyone in the theater was looking at them. However, Seth described that play, and that night, as one of the best in his life…"
"We saw that play too, and yeah, I can understand why he laughed so much… I mean, that poor actress as they tried to pull her through that window…" said David, with a grin, and Thad had to smile too, as he recalled that scene vividly as well…
At the appointed time, the two men made there way to the Carmichael house. Mrs Carmichael opened it, and after a slight double take of surprise at the sight of David, gave them both a hug. Like the two young men, she was dressed in black and white, and she looked tired to both of them. She blamed that on her dental problems, of course, that post treatment ache that is often worse than the original pain, that having prevented her form sleeping well. The two young men said nothing, but both were certain that a degree of unnecessary guilt might also be involved.
Thad offered to drive, worried about how tired Edith was, and she concurred, settling in the back seat. They made the trip in silence, Mrs Carmichael holding on tightly to her attaché case, which Thad and David correctly surmised held the instructions for the funeral amongst other things. What they did not know was that it also held a hand written letter addressed to Skylar, done in the best hand that Seth could manage on one of his better days. Mrs Carmichael did not know what it said, nor did she wish to. She had the feeling that what was contained in it was private and personal…
Thad drew his car up in his usual spot, but neither he or either of his passengers made any move to get out of the car at first, content just to sit there and put off the moment that they had to face Skylar. In the end, David made the first move, with the words, "We will have been seen and heard arriving, so not now getting out will look strange and bad. It is going to be difficult and awful whether we go now, or in an hour's time…"
Thad looked in the mirror at Mrs Carmichael, and she nodded. She unfastened her safety belt as David climbed out of the front passenger seat, ready to get out the moment that he opened the door for her…
They headed up the path, and before they could knock, Skylar opened the front door to them. The sight of David made him start too, and then his eyes grew a little moist. Without being asked, David pulled him into a hug, and held him close until the moment of emotion was past. Then Skylar turned to greet Mrs Carmichael….
"I should never have left him alone," she blurted out. "If I had been here then maybe something could have been done to stop this…"
Skylar shook his head, and replied, "You couldn't have made things any different; it was his time, so all you might have done was delayed the inevitable. You are not to blame for this and I am not angry or annoyed with you, if that is what you are thinking. If he had passed away alone, then I might feel differently, but he didn't. I actually have an apology to make too; with everything that was going on, we never got round to eating your casserole, so it was wasted…"
"That is nothing in comparison," exclaimed Mrs Carmichael, shaking her head. "It can be replaced!"
"Seth will be back amongst us soon enough," said Skylar. "The only person that will not see him around is Julia…"
"I wish that she could see him," said Thad quietly, echoing what they were all thinking at that moment.
"Speaking of Julia, she will be wondering why you are keeping us on the threshold and not inviting us in," said David, and Skylar nodded; he stood aside to let them all in, pointing them in the direction of the sitting room.
As they stepped in, the first thing they all saw was the old red leather chair, now empty, and that made them all blink a little. Julia was waiting on the sofa, and greeted them all, chastising her husband for making them wait on the doorstep so long. Then she offered coffee and cookies like the perfect host should. They all accepted, then listened as Skylar relayed what he had just been told by Hayden minutes earlier; the official cause of death. Seth had indeed suffered a huge attack, which had been stressful enough to cause him to suffer a major stroke, and then a cardiac arrest. There was nothing that could really have been done to save him, and even if his heart could have been restarted, the damage to his faculties from the stroke would have left him with zero quality of life. All in all, his passing was not entirely a bad thing…