After Seth Part IV
As Skylar sat in Seth's bedroom in Westerville, Santana was at home in Maplewood, still dealing with all that had happened on one eventful Friday. It had all begun calmly enough, and she had not thought for even a moment that the meeting that her wife had, that she would give no details of that Friday morning, was an appointment at the hospital. She had suspected that something was going on a few days earlier, but had decided that it was best to let her wife explain it all to her in her own good time…
When Brittany had walked into NYADA in the middle of the day, it had been a pleasant surprise for Santana, and the fact that she had brought a picnic lunch with her was good too. The first clue that a major announcement was coming was when her wife had asked if they could eat their lunch somewhere quiet and private; a room duly found for that, Santana had waited patiently to be told what was going on…
She would never have anticipated that her wife would have found a sperm donor and managed to get herself pregnant behind her back in a billion years. Part of her wanted to rage, Auntie Snixx hovering in the background, but then she realised that it wasn't actually such a bad thing. She had been coming round to the idea of them having a second child, but the prospect of being pregnant again herself had not been all that appealing. She had also brought up the idea of having a sibling for her daughter in a casual, jokey conversation with Sebastian, who had laughed, and then in a serious tone had said that being the father of two children was more than enough for any man. She knew a polite 'no danger' when she heard it…
If there was one thing that concerned her, it was the fact that Brittany would not tell her who the father was, just that they both knew him, that he was good looking and smart, and that he was quite happy to accept that he would have no role to play in the child's upbringing…
Brittany had left once they had finished lunch, heading to her own work fashionably late as usual, and Santana had then spent the rest of the afternoon wondering who the mystery man could be. She ruled out several suspects as highly unlikely quickly, as they had either not been there at the time, were married, or in the case of Jeff, had categorically stated that they would never have a child. In the end, she drew up a short list of three names; Beats, Elliott and Ethan. The first two had never had any plans for having a biological child of their own, content with their adopted son and foster son, but that did not mean that they would not have agreed to be a donor to someone else; indeed, she knew that Elliott had a very soft spot for her wife. Ethan was a definite outsider, but even if he was asexual, she was certain things still functioned down there, so he could not be ruled out.
She had been preparing to head for home when the text from Thad had arrived, asking people to join in an urgent Warbler group chat if they possibly could. Checking her watch, she realised that if she left now she would miss the next train home unless she ran like the wind, and so it made sense to log in and see what was going on that was so vitally important…
The news came as no great surprise, was not unexpected in anyway, and yet it still felt like a blow to the head followed by a kick in the stomach. He had been so young… She had signed off then headed slowly to Penn Station to catch her train. She was so caught up in her thoughts that it was only as she settled into her seat on the train that she wondered how her wife was going to take the news. She had been quite fond of Seth, saying that he was funny, handsome and smart all the…
Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open as she put two and two together and got a perfect four. Seth had to be the father of her wife's child. She had said that the baby was due to arrive in January, and that fitted in perfectly with conception happening in Seth's final days in the city, even if he was in hospital at the time. In a way, it made perfect sense, and it meant that he would never have a physical role in the life of his child; draughts in the middle of the night, however, could not be ruled out. There was only one worry for her, but she felt that given what she knew about Seth, he would have looked into the cons before agreeing to be a donor. Then it hit Santana; she now had to worry about how Brittany was going to take the news of Seth passing away all the more….
Brittany had arrived home oblivious to the news, and it had thus fallen to Santana to break it to her. When she saw her wife touch her stomach gently immediately afterwards, her face etched with a dash of sadness, she knew that her suspicions on the way home had been correct. "He's the father of the baby, isn't he?" she said in a gentle voice. When she received a nod in response, she smiled, and continued, "He was a good man, so you made a very sensible choice. If you had spoken to me about it beforehand, I would have agreed that he would have been the best possible father as well…"
"I know I should have said, but he wasn't sure about doing it when I first asked him, and then he had to get a lot of tests done. He only agreed to do it in the end because he was sure that it was safe. We only did it the once, although we did get caught by Dr Harwood; I had to stand at the door and stop him going in to the room as Seth was providing his donation…"
Santana nodded, although she was not at all certain that the hospital was the best place for conception to occur. "We will keep this to ourselves for just now, and if he hadn't told anyone before he died, then we will never tell anyone. He is entitled to his secrets, even in death."
"I think that Ollie knew what was happening, and probably Thad too, as he was taking care of a lot of things for him. I only told him this morning that I was certain though… He will be happier now, not in pain and growing a magnificent set of wings. He will be younger again too, just a teenager again really…"
"That is true, but the problem is that his going is going to make a lot of people very sad…"
The discovery of the message from Brittany had left Skylar with a bit of a quandary. He considered calling her at once, but therein lay an issue. Santana might not be aware that Seth was the father of her wife's child; in fact, she might not even know that her wife was pregnant yet. All he could hope was that they would both attend the funeral, and then he could try and take Brittany to one side and enquire…although that was going to be a very tricky conversation to start, that much was for sure.
With a sigh, he placed Seth's phone back where he had found it. Looking up again, he saw the picture that had pride of place on his friend's bedside table; the one of the two of them with Julia on his wedding day. It seemed like only yesterday, but so much had changed for them all since then, and not entirely for the better in some respects. He was going to be a parent very soon, but that child would not get a chance to meet and know their Uncle Seth now, and that made him sad. Julia was also looking much more tired than she had that day, but that was a combination of being in the latter stages of her pregnancy and the stress of Seth's demise. He resolved there and then that she would be looked after much more closely from now on, making sure that she got plenty of rest and less stress…
It was then that he felt the slight draught that indicated an arriving angel, and he closed his eyes, expecting that it would be Wes with an update on how Seth was doing. He wasn't entirely sure that he could handle that right now, but he also knew that he had little choice in the matter. He heard gentle footfalls in the hallway, and the door being pushed fully open. Then he heard something that he was not expecting, at least, not so soon…
"Hello Sky…"
He spun round to see Wes standing in the doorway, but he was not alone. There in front of him was Seth, standing proudly once more on his own two feet, and looking a decade younger, much like he had on the day that Skylar had first met him at Dalton. He found himself tongue-tied, lost for words to describe what he was feeling at that precise moment….
"It is weird I know to see me looking this young again, and I was startled, but then Wes reminded me that we all revert back to the age we were when Finn was murdered by Hunter. That makes me a sophomore again, although I have to admit that I feel a lot older than sixteen right now…"
"He looks as he did at sixteen, but in practice, his body is much closer to how it was at eighteen, as is his mind," explained Wes. "The whole process is very complicated, and there really isn't time to explain it right now…"
"I can imagine that it would be," said Skylar in hushed tones. "It is just so good to see Seth standing up again… at the same time, I can't begin to describe how much of a void I feel that I have in my life now you're gone…"
"I am not really gone though, not entirely," said Seth with a smile. "I will be around, keeping an eye on you and your family. I will have work to do, naturally. Wes has offered me a job helping him in his office, as Finn's girlfriend Emily, who has been helping him, has been offered the chance of a similar role to the one that she had back in the England section, and it is quite a promotion for her. I won't be doing that forever, but it will be good training for the role that they have marked out for me in the long run. Whatever I end up doing though, I will be here at least once a week so that we can chat. It is just a pity that Julia will not be able to see me as well…"
"It is, but like all things, that could be worked upon," said Wes sagely. "Anyway, we aren't able to stay long just now, but someone was impatient to show you something rather special…"
He turned to Seth then, and the latter smiled, and concentrated on doing all that he had been shown. Skylar gasped as his best friend suddenly grew a pair of wings, in much the same colours as Wes, but in his case with navy blue as the prominent hue. "I can't fly yet, but the minute I had them I just had to come and share them with the most important person in my life…"
"They are wonderful, and you deserve them for all that you have suffered, and all that you have done for me," replied Skylar, his eyes moist.
Seth blushed at that, and then Wes spoke. "He will be back to see you again soon, but just now he needs to be at Dalton to see Mrs Carmichael. She is still feeling that all of this is her fault, and we need to set her straight on that…"
Skylar nodded, although he would have liked nothing more than to have Seth stay for the remainder of the day. He knew in his heart that he could not though, and that he was not the only one that was suffering from a deep sense of loss at the moment.
"There is one thing that you can do before you leave," said Wes at that point. "Of course, it might not be something that Skylar wants…"
Seth looked at Skylar, then held his arms open. Such was the turn of speed with which Skylar flew into Seth's arms that it was a wonder that he did not knock them both to the floor. They held onto each other tightly, everything about it being as right as it always had been. Then Skylar took a step back, smiling softly at his best friend. "Go and cheer up Mrs Carmichael with one of those; she is still blaming herself for all of this deep down, however much she tries to deny it. Of course, be careful not to mention the fact you were eating bread, as we haven't; it would only make things worse for her, as she was the one that brought temptation into the house… As for me, well I look forward to seeing you again soon, and maybe even witness you hovering slightly off the ground the way you angels do…"
"I hope so," said Seth with an equal grin. Then he turned back to Wes, and stepped towards him. The older angel pulled him into his arms tightly, then unfolded his wings, before the two of them vanished as they had appeared, with nothing but a slight draught. Skylar returned to his spot on the bed, feeling a little more settled and content, now that he knew that Seth was doing okay…
That was when he saw something on the bedside table that had not been there before. It was a perfect model of an art deco box, made of stout card, every angle and line being crafted to perfection. How it had come to be placed there was unknown, although Wes had to be the obvious candidate, but Skylar could tell that the box was all Seth's handiwork. He knew no-one else that could have produced something so intricate and perfect. He reached over and picked it up to examine it, and that was when he realised that it opened at the top. He raised it, and saw written inside the lid, in his friend's flawless calligraphy four words - 'Always my Sunny Sky.'
With a smile on his face, Skylar left the bedroom and headed to his study; there he opened the locked top drawer of his desk, and placed the box carefully inside, locking it away. He wanted nothing more than to leave it out on display, but such a pretty thing would attract attention; there would be a lot of questions from Julia in particular, as she wondered why she had never seen it before. He decided then to go and check up on the lady in question; she was the love of his life after all, and was at the stage in her pregnancy when she deserved all of the love and affection that he could give…
The week that followed Seth's passing felt strange to everyone. Life had to carry on as normal for most of them, with jobs to go to and family to take care of. Flint had no time to think of anything given that his parents were in town, and there was also a newborn in the house again. His mother had insisted that Izzy take it easy, and this time his wife had agreed with her; he was quite happy to step up and take care of his new baby daughter, who had already wrapped him around her little finger. Of course, having Mirabel was also a godsend, as she was every bit as proud of her new charge as her parents and grandparents….
As for Aaron, her brother, he had regarded the arrival of his little sister with disdain at first, given that she had taken all of the attention from him. However, he had softened towards her as he realised that with everyone so busy attending to her, he could do things unwatched… Beats had also paid a couple of visits in those first few days, anxious to check up on his best friend's health, given all that had happened in a few short days. Of course, he also had to establish the presence of Uncle Beats in the new child's mind; the fact was that he too had had his heart stolen by young Amelia Wilson…
For Nick, his office at the UN was a refuge from reality. Jeff was quite down, and Wes was also upset by the loss of his uncle, as evidenced by the mountain of paper planes that grew each day. At the end of the week, the house in the West Village saw the arrival of two angels, as Wes brought Seth to see them. That appearance was a great help, especially with little Wes; he was all smiles as Seth sat down with him to show him a new origami, this time being able to demonstrate the whole thing himself thanks to the absence of pain in his hands. That fact made Wes smile widely, and Nick noted that it put a spark of joy back in his husband's eyes too…
Mason was able to deal with it all as he had the show to distract him, alongside having a new child at home to fill the rest of his free time. He and Jane had also began their search for an au pair or nanny, knowing that it could be hard to find someone in the city. They had lined up a few potential candidates by the end of the week, and would interview them the following week, once they had returned from Ohio. Jane's parents had offered to put them up, and look after young Bert whilst they were at the funeral. They had also agreed to accommodate Marley and Ryder, which was a great relief…
Of course, the fact that no-one in the city had to worry about how they were getting to Dalton was also a great help. Ethan had spoken to his parents the moment that he knew the date of the funeral, and the company jet that had once ferried people to Manhattan to see the Warblers and Mason's first appearance on the Broadway stage had been put in place to take them all to Columbus on the Sunday evening, and then bring them back to the city on Monday night. Ethan had also obtained his parent's backing for his plan to ask the Mackenzie Trust to help with the cost of building the hospice in memory of Seth in the little corner of Dalton's grounds. They had also made a substantial personal donation to the fund, albeit anonymously…
The size of the donation when it arrived had left those in charge of the fund at the Academy stunned, as it raised the size of the building fund by 50% overnight, thus bringing the prospect of commencing work on the building all the closer. That had given them all a boost as they began to prepare for one of the saddest events in the recent history of the school…
For others, of course, the week was a lot less easy. In the Hudson Valley, Edward felt unable to go back to his usual routine. Colin had spent most of the weekend after Seth's death in the house with him, to the extent that he had called on his predecessor as pharmacist to take over from him on Saturday afternoon, as he was distracted by the sound of his husband crying constantly as he tried to make up the prescriptions. She had come without a complaint when he had told her he had an emergency, and as she arrived, the sound of Edward wailing was once more echoing down the stairs. She said nothing, just slipped on her white coat and signalled to Colin to head upstairs…
Having settled him down and persuaded him to go to bed and managed to get him off to sleep, Colin headed back down the stairs. He knew that an explanation was not required, but he had to speak to someone… "A friend of ours from school died yesterday; he was a roommate of ours in New York too. He had MND, so this wasn't unexpected, but still… He and Edward were in the same year at school, and they were roommates at first, good friends thereafter too. They were close, so this to him is like losing a brother… I am having to ignore my own feelings of loss and pain to ensure he stays together, but I really want to howl like he is, and I can't…"
"It is never easy to lose a friend," the older lady said kindly, "especially when you are young. My advice is that if you need to cry, then you should. Bottling up your own grief and misery will be of no use to anyone, including Edward, in the long run." No sooner had she uttered those words than she heard a gasping sob, and turned to see Colin slump into a chair and sob his heart out…
He had only needed to cry that once; his husband was another matter altogether. He realised the following afternoon that even if he was not constantly crying any longer, there was no way he was going to be able to drill teeth the next day, not when the smallest thing could set off tears, and when he was out of it half the time. He was still able to deal with the business downstairs that day, Sunday being one of the quietest days of the week for making up drugs. Midway through the afternoon, the former pharmacist and her husband, the previous dentist, appeared; she stated that they were just passing, but Colin knew that was probably a lie. He opened up about his concerns, already knowing what was coming…
On Monday morning, the former dentist was back in the surgery, and his wife had insisted on taking over in the pharmacy. "What you need to do is go away somewhere together, somewhere quiet, and talk it all out. We can happily look after things here for a few days if you need us to - and it goes without saying that we will be here to cover for the funeral, so that the two of you can go."
Colin thought about their offer for a moment, then accepted it, before heading upstairs. He quickly packed an overnight bag for himself and his husband, then shepherded a bemused Edward to the car. Pulling away from their home, he headed eastwards. Whilst he had been packing, he had made a quick phone call, and arranged a destination. As they drove along, Edward said nothing, just stared out of the window, until the moment that they crossed the state line.
"Are we going to see…?"
"Yes, we are; we will be staying with them until Wednesday at least. We both need to get away for a bit of thinking time, in peace, quiet and tranquillity."
"It was so very peaceful that one time we visited before when we were still at school. I remember that Seth was so happy to get back into nature. He liked the life in the city, but at heart he was always a country boy…" Then Edward lapsed back into silence, but this time with a small hint of a smile, something that Colin had not seen since the news had broken. Emboldened by this, he decided to switch on the radio, and found a station that was playing music from the fifties and sixties, tunes that they both knew and could sing along to if they wished, just as they had on the trip up from New York a lifetime ago…
It would be the first time, however, that they had been invited to stay at Luke and Duncan's own house; it was easy to find, being built just off the lane that lead to the home that Luke had grown up in. He was waiting for them at the front door as they drew up outside the handsome older house, which Colin recalled had been a derelict building the last time they had travelled this way. Luke did not speak as they climbed out of the car; he just walked right up to Edward and pulled him into a hug, a move that was returned at once.
"Duncan is at work, but he should be home shortly," he said after he had released Edward and hugged Colin too. "He is the only other person that knows that you are coming by the way. I wasn't sure if you were up to seeing Cameron, so I stayed silent."
"Not tonight, but we will definitely need to see him tomorrow; he will be as upset by all of this as we are," said Colin.
"He is," replied Luke. "Not long after the news broke, he arrived on the doorstep in tears, and we sat and cried together for our mutual friend. He and Flora will both be joining us at Dalton next week; mom is only too pleased to babysit."
"I think that things will be easier after the funeral happens, at least for me," said Edward quietly. "Until then, this is all going to seem like some sort of cruel joke, and he is still alive somewhere out there…"
"I don't think…" began Colin, but then his husband interrupted him.
"I know that it is irrational, but that is how all of this feels to me right now," said Edward, sighing.
The next day, when the three of them were in the company of Duncan and Cameron, they all felt a draught, and Seth was suddenly back amongst them. Edward did not cry at the sight of his oldest friend with new wings; he instead smiled as he saw the boy he had known in his freshman year restored to full health and vitality. That visit was a great help, and he had a good night's sleep that night for the first time since Friday. He knew now that he had to carry on, if not normally then at least to the best of his ability, until the whole period came to an end with the climax of the funeral…