"Queen Beryl!" yelled Jadeite. "I found a new source of energy!"
"Alright, Jadeite," said Queen Beryl. "You know the routine. Investigate this new source immediately, so that we can revive-"
Suddenly there was a deep rumbling sound.
"What the hell is that!?" screamed Beryl over the deafening noise. "Is that the Sailors infiltrating the Negaverse!?"
"Hmm," said Jadeite. "Maybe they couldn't find our entrance, so they're coming down with a giant drill."
The crowd of Youmas nervously exchanged glances.
That's when suddenly an enormous tectonic plate came rolling in like a bulldozer, destroying the statue behind Beryl.
She turned around.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she howled.
She tried to stand up, but before the tectonic plate could crush her, the head of her giant throne statue fell down and killed her.
And just in case she survived, the tectonic plate crushed her and the statue, and plowed right through Jadeite, but fortunately he was a hologram.
"What's going?" he said. "Am I getting a bad connection? All I see is black."
The crowd of Youmas tried to run, but most of them didn't have ways to teleport, and 99% of them got crushed, but a lucky 1% escaped.
"Hooha!" yelled the survivors.
Nephrite heard a loud "Hooha!" down the hall, and saw 1% of the crowd Youmas sprinting for their lives, some on their hind legs but some on all fours.
"What is this, some kind of-"
But that's when Nephrite spotted the tectonic plate hot on their tail.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he yelled. "I should have known this would happen, living underground!"
Nephrite could have teleported away, but he unplugged his soda machine and started running on foot, with the big machine on his back.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" he screamed, dashing.
"Kunzite, do you hear something?" asked Zoisite, looking out the window of his castle, which had no glass and was just an open window.
"It's probably just another negathunderstorm," figured Kunzite.
But then the ground started to shake.
"Nega earthquake?" wondered Kunzite.
"No," said Zoisite. "It'd be a regular earthquake, since we live underground."
"This sounds like bad news," said Kunzite.
Suddenly half their castle collapsed and was torn to shreds.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Zoisite and Kunzite.
Stalactites came raining down like a hailstorm.
"Oof!" said Kunzite, leaping to dodge. "Zoisite, we gotta get outta here! It looks like our kingdom is being taken down by the 10 biblical plagues! I remember this! The first is falling stalactites… I hope there's not the one where people get killed!"
That's when a stalactite impaled Zoisite, right in the heart of all places, because he simply wasn't fast enough.
"NooooooO!" said Kunzite. "What did we do to deserve this?!"
That's when he came face to face with the tectonic plate itself.
"RRRR!" said Kunzite. "You're the one who caused this! I will avenge Zoisite!"
He threw a leaping kick at the tectonic plate as it slid through his living room, followed by an overhead mallet punch right into its rocky spine.
It let out a roar, but then threw a blow, tossing Kunzite to the ground like a volleyball.
This looked like the end for ol' Kunzite as the plate closed in on him, but he fired his best energy attack at the last second.
The tectonic plate absorbed the attack like someone absorbing nutrition from food, but this bought Kunzite enough time to teleport away.
Metalia sat in her pod, minding her own business.
Suddenly the giant eye on top of her pod collapsed and fell into the pod.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" shrieked Metalia, as the tectonic plate crushed each and every one of her gaseous molecules.
Kenji was in his work suit, running high-knees over to the entrance to the Negaverse.
That's when he looked inside and saw a tectonic plate roll by, destroying everything in its path and leaving only devastation.
Kenji leapt back, and yanked at his tie. "Yeeeeesh!" he said. "I dodged a bullet! Time to go to my other job!"
Kenji sprinted away, regretting leaving his lucky toaster in the Negaverse.
Kunzite, Nephrite, and Nephrite's soda machine stood on an iceberg, feeling the earth finally stop shaking below them.
"Odd stuff," said Nephrite. "But we should have known this day would come. Is Beryl gone?"
"Yes," said Kunzite. "I sensed her power level drop to zero, and I should have heeded the warning that something was amiss."
"Hey," said Nephrite, starting to catch a gidd. "Where's Zoisite?"
"Rrr, shut up!" yelled Kunzite.
"Hey, don't talk to me like that!" said Nephrite. "Who do you think you are?"
"I'm your superior!" yelled Kunzite.
"No," said Nephrite. "The Dark Kingdom is gone. You're a nobody. Your cape means nothing. Fathead."
Kunzite had enough of the abuse, and threw a hypersonic punch right into Nephrite's forehead, destroying him.
The soda machine was bloodlusted, and threw a leaping kick right into Kunzite's spine.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAIYYYEEEEE!" screamed Kunzite, standing back up and spinning around to see that his attacker was none other than soda machine.
It let out a warning beep, and Kunzite put 'em up.
"Come at me, you metal maniac!" screamed Kunzite.
The vending machine threw a spinning kick, and then started shooting sodas like projectiles.
Kunzite smacked them out of the sky, and threw his full body like someone who was trying to tip the machine to get a snack that was jammed.
The soda machine, being all but immobile, had no choice but to take the blow, suffering inhuman pain in the process.
"Hey," said Kunzite. "You're not even plugged in. How are you functioning?"
That's when the soda machine dropped dead, due to realizing its own limitations.
Kunzite was still mad. He kicked the snow.
"Stupid tectonic plates!" he yelled. "Everything I love is gone! That orange-haired man…"
Jadeite appeared. "What's up, homies?" he said.
He spotted Nephrite's headless corpse in the snow, and the defeated soda machine, and no Zoisite.
He frowned. "What happened here?" he said. "I can't believe Nephrite left no trace of Zoisite. And his soda machine acted as an accomplice? What an interesting creature. You should hurry up and plug it in somewhere, or it might pass on."
"Now's not the time," said Kunzite. "We have to go back to the Negaverse and see if Metalia survived."
"Sadly we can't," said Jadeite. "From what I observed wandering as a hologram, the tectonic plate has moved in where the Dark Kingdom once was. Metalia is gone, and this means by extension, Zoisite's gone."
Kunzite stared into the empty white abyss.
"Hmm," said Jadeite. "Looks like it's just you and me again, eh Kunzy my boy?"
There was no response.
"Kunzite?" he said.
Kunzite suddenly took out a blade and took his own life, staining the white snow like someone pouring red food coloring on it.
"Oof!" said Jadeite. "That was kind of harsh. I mean, I might not be your favorite guy, but I'm not your least favorite. That spot I would assume is a tie between Chiba and Nephrite. Maybe ever Sailor Moon. Hey, where is Chiba anyway?"
As it turned out, Mamoru had been on the brainwash bed, and no one bothered to and/or had a chance to save him from the tectonic plate.
But Jadeite didn't know this.
"Hmmm," said Jadeite. "My only choice now is to acclimate into the human world. I will become a freelance YouTuber, posting clickbait videos to earn a living. Yes, I can see it now."
Jadeite teleported to Japan, and launched his YouTube channel.
But sadly, as every YouTuber knows, the beginning is rough.
"I need a really clickbaity title," he said. "How about: 'Slugging people on the street.'" Then, to make sure people didn't suspect it was clickbait, he put [REAL!] at the end of the title, and then [No Clickbait].
Then he put a thumbnail of himself jumping off a bridge.
"Okay," said Jadeite. "Now I buy some views, and make this video take off like a dove."
Jadeite bought 1,000,000 views, and before he knew it his video was on the top of trending.
"EEeassy!" said Jadeite. "Now that I've been a YouTuber for one day and already popular, it's time to become a scumbag, and especially a sellout!"
Jadeite made a new video called, "You won't believe what I got in the mail! [Real] [Not Clickbait] [It's a bomb – OMG!] (RIP my house :O) [Homeless]."
However, there was no package in the video. The first four minutes of the video was him advertising the Dollar Shave Club, in some elaborate advertisement that one would mistake for a video for the first two minutes.
After those four minutes was a two minute introduction to Jadeite's channel, and then another three minute ad for his own merchandise, consisting of a $25 T-shirt of him jumping off a bridge that took minimal effort to make, along with a matching hat, gloves, socks, backpack, underwear, you name it. There was even a $200 life-size portrait of him jumping off a bridge for sale, even though not one video had him jumping off a bridge. But most of the thumbnails were in fact him jumping off bridges, or someone holding him at gunpoint.
Then there was a four minute end slide, saying to like and subscribe along with links to his other videos.
That was the end of the video, and then he got 8 million views.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEASY!" said Jadeite. "You would think someone would stop watching my videos once I became a scumbag, but it's only made me more popular! Foolish humans! If only I still had a reason to collect energy. But my Great Ruler has perished. Oh well. Let's see how much I can push my luck by being the most annoying YouTuber ever."
Jadeite soon made the infamous YouTube rewind, despite other more famous YouTubers getting kicked off for saying inappropriate words that Jadeite made sure to say in every video.
To celebrate his achievement, he posted the video: "Punching a cop in the stomach (Gone Wrong!) [Arrested] (Not fake! 100% REAL) [AIYEEEE]."
The thumbnail was him tied to train tracks, with a train coming.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEASY!" said Jadeite.
There was no actual content in the video, just ads.
Now Jadeite made it a personal game to see how annoying he could make his advertisements for T-shirts.
Just when the video finally looked like he would go up and punch a cop in the stomach as promised, he did just that.
He sprinted up and threw a leaping kick.
But suddenly the green screen fell over.
"HUH?!" said Jadeite. "Where am I!?"
But then he looked up and saw that he was on his own website, specifically in his T-shirt selling section, and the link was flashing on the bottom of his screen with a giant URL address.
"Woah!" he said. "Look at this amazing merch! I want to buy it all! I will respect anyone who does the same! Please, do me a personal favor, and buy my merch! Thank you!"
That was the end of his video.
It got 100M views, and 100M dollars in advertising.
Jadeite checked his comments daily, but there were so many that he could only see the most recent few each time.
"Hey!" he said. "That guy said my video was clickbait! How dare he!"
Jadeite told off the hater, by telling him to kill himself.
Suddenly Jadeite got a notification, and saw that his account was getting terminated.
He knew that he only had a couple hours left, so he decided to end his channel with a bang.
He posted a video of him shooting himself with a very clickbaity title and thumbnail.
But then it was actually him shooting himself, but only in the leg.
"OWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled. "WHYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
The video was the first ever to get 8 billion views, but unfortunately it was terminated with the rest of his channel.
"OoowWooooooooooo," he said, cradling his wound. "I'm rich enough that I could have done that with special effects! WHyeeeeeeeeeee!"
Jadeite sighed after his YouTube career was ended.
"Now I need to find a real job," he considered.
He browsed the internet for jobs that make a lot of money.
"Is millionaire a job?" he wondered.
Unfortunately, not until one retires.
Jadeite sighed again. "Uhhhnnnnnnnnnnnnng," he groaned.
"Oooh, I know!" he decided. "I'll become a CEO!"
Jadeite walked into Nintendo, as he was in Tokyo, and saw on the internet that they needed a new CEO.
"Alright," he said to the guy. "I will be the CEO."
"Now hold on," said the guy. "If we gave CEO to just anyone, then our rivals could sneak in and ruin our company!"
"No rivals," said Jadeite. "I am the most advanced man in the universe. So hire me or else."
"I'll look over your resume," said the man. "Can I see it?"
"Yes," said Jadeite. He handed him a blank sheet of paper.
The man narrowed his eyes.
"Is this a joke?" he said.
"No joke," said Jadeite.
"Yes joke," said the man. "For starters, you need education."
"The only joke," considered Jadeite. "Is YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!"
He threw a leaping knee, right into the man's neck, killing him.
He sprinted out as fast as he could (high knees).
"I guess I need education," decided Jadeite.
That's when he showed up at the Juuban school.
"Here's a good start," he said. "I'll just pick a grade and go with it."
Jadeite strolled into Haruna-sensei's classroom.
"Howdy," he said. "I'll be staying here for a while."
He wrote his name on the board like a teach. "Jadeite," it read.
"Um… welcome?" said Ms. Haruna. "You look a little old for this class. But I assume you already registered at the office, so they took that into consideration?"
"Right," said Jadeite. "I will be learning here until I graduate."
"OoooooooooOOoooOOO!" said the girls. "He's good looking!"
"Thank you," said Jadeite. "If you want to date me, then leave a note in my locker. Be sure to leave your home address in case I want to pop in."
"Right!" said some of the girls, but some of them were hesitant.
"Wait a minute!" said Usagi Tsukino. "I know this man!"
"No man," said Jadeite. "I'm a young boy."
"No boy," said Usagi. "You're Jadeite, of the Dark Kingdom!"
Jadeite just shook his head. "No Dark Kingdom," he said. "It got killed by a tectonic plate. I'm now just Jadeite of Earth."
"Ummm… I guess that's okay," said Usagi.
"Good," said Jadeite. "Because you're just a normal girl. So even if you wanted to stand against me, it would just be foolish, as I have no beef with you. It was never anything personal."
He sat down at a desk, next to Melvin.
"Hidy ho!" said Melvin.
"Shut up, dweeb!" said Jadeite. "I'm the cool kid at this school."
"Righty ho!" said Melvin.
"No," said Jadeite. "You don't understand. Give me your lunch money, nerd."
"No lunch money," said Melvin.
"What is this?" said Jadeite. "Back in my day, the nerds had lunch money! You playin' me, boy?!"
"No sir," said Melvin. "I just use my phone to pay."
"Alright," said Jadeite. "Then hand me your phone."
"I can't," said Melvin. "It's not compatible with anyone but me."
"What kind of world is this?" said Jadeite. "Where phones are currency, and nerds don't have lunch money?"
"It's a sad world," agreed Melvin. "Have you heard what happened to the Paper Mario Series? Oooooh, that Color Splash!"
"I'll give you a face smash!" said Jadeite.
"Hey!" said Haruna. "Keep it down over there! And I hope I don't hear bullying!"
"No bullying," said Jadeite.
"Yes bullying," said Melvin.
"Shut up, nerd," said Haruna-sensei. "Anyway, does anyone know the square root of 144?"
Jadeite took out a notebook and started writing down notes.
That's when a paper airplane flew his way.
"Hmmm," he said. "I remember when I used to control regular planes. But that was a different me."
He opened the plane, expecting a love letter.
But instead it was some kind of nonsense.
It read, "If the Dark Kingdom was destroyed, where's Nephroyt? Surely he wouldn't go down with his kingdom, right?!"
Jadeite returned his own paper airplane, and Mully hastily opened it up, fearing the worst.
But all it read was, "No Nephrite."
She turned around. "What do you mean, no Nephrite?!" she asked out loud.
"He's gone," said Jadeite. "His life was taken by the tectonic plate. Wait, no, it was taken by Kunzite."
"Oh… oh no…" said Molly. "Did he go down in a heroic struggle?"
"No struggle," said Jadeite. "His head was popped off. No hero either."
"Hey!" said Haruna. "Are you passing notes?! Let me see that!"
She read the note, which said, "No Nephrite."
She narrowed her eyes. "Is this some kind of secret code?" she said.
"No code," said Jadeite.
That's when Jadeite got bored with the whole school game.
"Haruna," he said.
"Haruna-sensei," corrected Haruna-sensei.
"Haruna," repeated Jadeite.
"What!?" said Haruna.
"No life," said Jadeite.
"Huh?!" she said. "Are you making fun of me for not having a boyfriend?"
"No life," he repeated, shaking his head.
Then he killed Haruna with a single punch.
"NO!" said Melvin. "It was fine when he bullied me, but this has gone too far! Put 'em up!"
Jadeite drowned Melvin in a nearby toilet, and didn't let him out until he stopped flailing.
"That's the end of that," scoffed Jadeite, leaving the girl's bathroom.
That's when Melvin got back up, because he was playing dead like a possum.
"Siri," he said. "I might not come home tonight, so tell Alexa that it was nice knowing her, and she is a great AI."
"Not good AI," replied Siri.
Melvin suddenly threw a leaping kick at the back of Jadeite's head.
Jadeite turned around and grabbed Melvin by the throat.
He shook his head.
He put Melvin back in the toilet and this time made sure he was no longer on this Earth.
"He was a good man," said Mully.
"Not a good man," said Jadeite.
He turned around. "Nerd," he added, leaving the bathroom.
Jadeite strolled out of the school.
"No school," he said. "The only path for me now is the life of a degenerate."
Jadeite robbed a bank, and considered giving the money to poor people who needed it the most. But then he decided to give it to rich people.
"Haha!" said Jadeite. "I'll be like a reverse Robin Hood, stealing from the poor and giving to the rich!"
Jadeite robbed a homeless man of his one quarter, and gave it to a rich man.
"Eewww," said the rich man. "That's not even pocket change."
"Hey," said Jadeite. "The only thing that will be changed, is your status from living to dead."
He threw a hypersonic backhand, and then unleashed a barrage of blows.
He threw many blows, until the man could receive no more, and the man faded.
Jadeite walked up to the next man, who was just a regular man, and threw a punch to his knee, and then his stomach.
"Oof!" said the man. "Please, stop!"
But Jadeite didn't stop, and threw a punch to his throat.
"AAAAAAAIYYEEEEEE!" coughed the man.
The man got mad and threw a punch back.
But Jadeite caught it and returned it, but the man threw another one.
They began trading blows like the stock exchange, but Jadeite delivered punches faster than the man could retaliate, and the man soon took his final bow.
He did a mighty bow, by throwing a leaping kick into Jadeite's throat.
Then he passed.
"Oof," said Jadeite, rubbing his throat. "Why is it always the throat?"
With nowhere else to go, Jadeite went to old reliable, the Hikawa Shrine.
Kenji was already there.
"Hello, Jadeite," said Kenj. "What took you so long to make it to the Negaverse safe house? It's been 8 years."
"Sorry," said Jadeite. "I became a YouTuber. Then I became a degenerate, with a few unimportant things in between."
"Ho ho ho," said Kenji. "My story's not too different from yours. Except I became a degenerate first, and a YouTuber later. And along the way, I killed Shingle."
"Good story," said the Grandpa, arriving with tea.
Jadeite and Kenji drank the tea.
"Are you ready?" asked Grandpa.
"For what?" asked Jadeite.
"Huh?" said Grandpa. "I thought the reason you came here after eight years was to witness the apocalypse from a front row seat."
"Hmmm," said Jadeite. "I know the temple would be safe against any crisis, but who the heck knows when that will happen?"
"It's coming in three minutes," said Grandpa. "There's no way you just came by luck!"
"Hmm," considered Jadeite. "I guess fate has a funny way of working sometimes. For example, I would have never been here if it wasn't for that tectonic plate that took everything I once knew into a high pressure grave. Eight years ago," he said. "The new Jadeite was born. Jadeite the YouTuber. Now he's Jadeite the Degenerate, but nonetheless, he's still Jadeite."
"Hmmm," said Grandpa, putting on his sunglasses. "Now there's only two minutes left. So just lean back, and watch the end of the world unfold right before your eyes."
"Okay," said Jadeite. "This should be good!"
Two minutes later, a giant flaming fireball came down, hitting the surface of the Earth.
It erupted in a giant explosion, sending so much force that every building was swept away.
Jadeite, Kenji, and Grandpa watched with their sunglasses on, as the mighty force blew their hair back as it sent many winds their way.
"SHYRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed Yuuichirou, flying by overhead into a fiery doom.
The temple was lifted off the ground from the mighty winds that had now consumed the Earth.
After 18 minutes, the winds vanished, and the temple dropped to the ground.
The Earth now looked like some kind of wasteland, and no one was alive. It could have been mistaken for the fiery planet of Venus.
"RIP," said Jadeite. "10/10 apocolypse, would watch again."
"I've seen better," said Grandpa.
Kenji took a sip of tea, and then a bite of toast.
"Looking back," he said. "We should have brought some girls here. We knew when this was going to happen for the past five years, but we decided not to tell anyone. But we should have told some girls, so that it wasn't just us for the rest of time."
"Rest of time?" said Jadeite. "I thought you two were regular humans?"
"No," said Grandpa. "Along with all the cities, the human lifespan was also destroyed."
"Hmmm," said Jadeite.
But then he pouted. "Hmmmm," he said, more glumly. "I think if I knew that it was going to end this way, I would have just been anywhere but the temple and gone out with the rest of the world."
"Come on now, young one," said Grandpa. "Don't be like that."
"No," said Jadeite. "Everything is gone, and I'm not talking about from the apocalypse. I'm talking about the original beast, the tectonic plate. It took down my dark space, and those other guys. I didn't like them very much, but we were the Great Four! Now I'm the Great One, and they're the Great Dead."
He paused for a moment. "The Great Nothing."
"Awwwww," said Grandpa. "No need to be a Debbie Downer. You should have a good time, like Kenji over there."
He gestured to Kenji who was eating toast with a smile on his face, despite seeing the world end. "Let it rain fire!" said Kenji, taking a sip of tea.
"You know," said Kenji. "If I would have had time to prepare, more than the five years I had, I would have tricked Shingle into thinking he would be the only one I saved. But then at the last second, when that fireball arrived, I'd throw him off the temple steps, and watch him explode right before my eyes. What a wasted opportunity."
"We can't look back at that past," said Grandpa. "Luckily, my computer has enough pornography to last us at least 300 years. By that time, young Jadeite over here will invent long-distance space travel, and we'll have somewhere to go. Now that's something to look forward to, isn't it Kenj?
"Mmm," said Kenj. "Do you think on other planets, there will be other Shingles to kill?"
"For sure," said Grandpa.
"Mmmmm!" said Kenji. "And toast! And girls!"
"AHhh!" said Grandpa. "Now this conversation is heading somewhere! Jadeite, hurry up at your lab, got it?"
But Jadeite was upset, but not from the apocalypse.
"Who did that tectonic plate think he was?!" screamed Jadeite.
"We're not getting through to him," said Grandpa. "Kenji my boy. Let's go inside and leave this depressed lad in the past, until he can cope with what happened. And I'm not talking about the apocalypse, which clearly isn't his main concern right now."
Grandpa and Kenji went inside and turned on the computer.
"Hmm," said Kenji, trying to connect to his favorite Minecraft server.
He did, but there were no players online.
Then actually that second, the server shut down.
"Shoot," said Kenj. "At least the satellites keep giving us wi-fi."
That's when the satellites were finally cooked from the flames arising from Earth's crust.
"Shoot," said Grandpa. "At least my hard drive's intact. That's where I keep all the goods."
"Say," said Kenji. "Aren't you upset you will never be able to experience the act of love again, since there are no girls around?"
"Actually no," said Grandpa. "As even if all the people were still here, I couldn't. They just don't like old men like they used to, I suppose."
"Hmm," said Kenji. "Good way to think about it."
15 years later…
"Aha!" said Jadeite. "Look! A blade of grass has finally emerged through the demolished crust of the Earth!"
Grandpa walked up with his arms folded.
"As the cycle of life prophesizes, with death comes new beginnings. No matter what happens, life will always find a way to continue."
"Very poetic," said Jadeite.
But that's when the blade of grass took its own life.
Grandpa scratched his head. "I guess 15 years was too soon," he said. "Come back inside, Jed. I found another hard drive in my storage bin."
"Hold on," said Jadeite.
He planted a seed that he had kept in his pocket for 23 years.
"Sadly," said Jadeite. "I'm not coming in. It's time."
"Time for what?" said Grandpa, not too concerned.
"It's time for my final rodeo," said Jadeite. "My last hoorah. My grand finale. My last bow. My final chapter. The last few minutes of my episode."
"I get it," said Grandpa. "Most people don't have the patience for new life to sprout. But as someone who's been here since the time of the dinosaurs, I insist you wait a bit longer. Eventually life will sprout, and a Garden of Eden will form right in front of my temple. Just give or take 1 million years, or maybe 70 million. Life is kind of slow, but eventually humans will return. Or maybe some other species. Either way, the Earth will go full cycle."
"No," said Jadeite. "That doesn't interest me anymore. My time has come. You can help, or you can stay here and watch… er, videos with Kenji for 70 million years."
"Hmmm," said Grandpa. "Kenji isn't much of a conversationalist, but I do want to continue living, thank you. So have fun, boy. This is the last I'll see you, I suppose."
"Alright," said Jadeite. "Farewell!"
Jadeite began his long trek to the North Pole.
Jadeite arrived at the North Pole after passing through almost half the ruin-covered Earth.
The oceans were just sand, actually no, glass. Very spooky.
Jadeite sighed, arriving where the North Pole once was.
But all the snow was gone, and its place was taken by rocks.
The only marker indicating that this was where Jadeite once called home was a piece of Nephrite's soda machine, that stayed intact for 23 years and survived the apocalypse.
"Hmm," said Jadeite, reaching the entrance to the Negaverse.
But there was no entrance, only the top of the tectonic plate.
"The life of a flower is short and full of suffering," mused Jadeite.
"WAIIIIT UP!" called Grandpa, as Jadeite got ready to throw a leaping kick.
Grandpa and Kenji walked up.
"Ah," said Jadeite. "What's up?"
"We've decided to join you," said Grandpa.
"Are you sure?" said Jadeite. "You will be the only relics of the first world."
Grandpa shook his head.
"We've already made amends with what's left of the world," he explained. "It's time to leave it now."
Jadeite nodded. "Choosing one's own destiny is what makes one human. I've already decided mine. It ends here. Where it all began. The beginning of the end. The end of beginnings. The door that opens and leads to another door."
"Right!" said Kenj.
Jadeite readied his leaping kick, to awaken the sleeping giant.
"Wait, hold on!" said Kenji.
Jadeite paused.
Kenji took out a piece of toast, and ate it.
"Mmm," he said. "Crunchy! I'm gonna miss that. Alright, you can go now."
"Great beast!" yelled Jadeite. "Show yourself!"
The tectonic plate slowly arose, and stretched its neck. "You dare disturb my slumber? Who art thou?"
"Ancient gargoyle," said Jadeite. "It's time to finish the war you started 23 years ago!"
"Hmmm," said Grandpa. "You don't look too good after the apocalypse hit you dead on, plate boy!"
"Thanks for your concern," said the tectonic plate. "But I was underground, so the top of the crust absorbed most of the blow. It was just enough to kill all underground creatures, but leave me unscathed."
"No unscathed," said Jadeite.
"Huh?" said the tectonic plate.
Jadeite threw a sonic punch, inflicting great damage on the earthy colossus.
The rocky wonder threw three punches, but Jadeite absorbed all of them.
"KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!" yelled Jadeite, flying back from the blows.
He landed on his feet and slid.
"Let me handle this," said Grandpa. "You suffered enough."
Grandpa vanished, and appeared right behind the rock platform.
He threw a karate chop to where its neck would be, leaving a large crack.
"Hoo ha!" yelled Grandpa, pounding his chest.
The tectonic plate spun around, and threw a backhand, sending Grandpa flying.
The earthquakes the plate caused by this maneuver shook Jadeite and Kenji, but Jadeite clung to life like he had all these years.
He leapt on the tectonic plate's back, and didn't let go.
"YOU BEEEEEEEAST!" yelled Jadeite. "I'll ruin you! I'll turn you into sand! Into gravel!"
"Hey, get off!" said the tectonic plate, trying to shake Jadeite free.
Kenji took off his belt, a magnificent weapon that hadn't been bared for many years.
"OH YEAH!" yelled Kenji. "Make my day, rock face! I've been needing this!"
He started whipping the beast, but it threw a crusty blow, crippling Kenji.
"KYAAAAAAA!" yelled Kenji.
Several indents were left from Kenji's belt whacks, but it had far from damaged the massive monster. It did leave some scratches, though, and the three warriors were beginning to get through to the rocky center.
Jadeite was finally flung off the plate, but it was so big that he landed back on it.
He threw overhead mallet punch after overhead mallet punch, like he was hammering a nail.
Finally, the dusty vermin got a hold of him, and threw him like a football.
Jadeite tumbled, but got to his feet.
Jadeite fired lightning, but the beast absorbed the blow.
But not all of it.
Jadeite fired lightning at twice the strength, and the beast had enough and threw a rocky punch, right into Jadeite's jaw, sending the young man into a whirlwind of pain.
Grandpa threw his whole body, trying to take a tectonic plate with just his body fling.
He collided with the wall of the tectonic plate, and gave it a good shake.
But that move alone was very far from toppling it.
Grandpa leapt back, dodging a blow, and charged up a punch like someone putting ammunition into a gun.
He suddenly unleashed a barrage of blows, dropping off scattered punches to every single pebble that made up the giant stoney amalgamation.
It looked like Grandpa had 50 arms, because he was punching so fast.
Meanwhile, Jadeite ran up and pushed against the beast, like he was trying to push over a bookshelf or something.
Kenji ran up and threw a leaping kick, but his foot remained planted in the beast and he pushed against it along with Jadeite, throwing punches every time he got an opening.
"What do you intend to prove?" boomed the tectonic plate.
"NOTHIIIIING!" yelled Jadeite. "NO PROVE!"
The tectonic beast let out a roar, and threw up its gravelly arms, sending the three of them flying.
Kenji was assumed to have perished as no one saw him land, but Grandpa and Jadeite were still clinging.
The tectonic beast swung its arms.
Jadeite leapt out of the way, but Grandpa was still standing up and got tossed.
"Grandpa!" yelled Jed.
Grandpa got to his feet slowly, but he was clenching his arm like Gohan Super Saiyan 2, when he took the hit for Vegeta. AKA not looking so good.
The beast shot out a wave of rocks and pebbles, like a rockslide, and Jadeite and Grandpa leapt out of the way with mighty leaps.
Jadeite threw a kick, shattering a rock that was sent flying at him, and then threw a punch, destroying another.
Jadeite landed on his feet, and Grandpa did too.
But that's when a boulder attached to the tectonic plate swung down, crushing Grandpa and destroying him.
"Like whack-a-mole," taunted the tectonic plate.
He tried to do the same to Jadeite, but Jadeite wasn't at his limit quite yet like the old-timer was.
The boulder brute let out a roar, and Jadeite braced himself.
He dared to turn, and saw that Grandpa had been flattened like a pancake. He finally found Kenji's fate, and saw him laying like he had fallen from 100 feet high.
"You villain!" yelled Jadeite. "I will destroy you! For them, and for the whole Dark Kingdom that you destroyed in your rocky reign! This reign ends now!"
Jadeite fired lightning, this time widespread lightning, that managed to cover the entire front of the barbarian with sparks and volts.
Jadeite quickly charged while the glutton was stunned, and closed the gap in an instant.
He threw a right hook, landing critical damage on the stony swine, and sending rocks flying from the impact point of the punch.
The beast swung down its arms again, sending Jadeite flying as he was too close to escape.
But Jadeite simply wasn't going down.
He stood back up, and put 'em up.
He shot a wave of fire, running out of attacks to use, and this infuriated the colossal fiend.
"Fool!" boomed the formation. "I survived the apocalypse, did you think that would work? I literally float in lava!"
Jadeite was in a hot pant. Despite all the damage that was inflicted on the gargantuan behemoth, it still looked as spry as ever, and looking at it from a less-damaged area, you wouldn't even know it was damaged at all.
But Jadeite couldn't give up now.
He threw a cyclone punch, but not at the beast, simply at the air.
"Eh?" said the leviathan.
That's when a tornado erupted, coming right towards the tectonic creature.
It wasn't the most mobile thing, despite rolling into the Negaverse rather quickly, and it was trapped in the cyclone.
"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" it yelled.
Its rocky exterior was slowly being weathered away, like hyperspeed erosion of sandstone.
And right when the cyclone faded out, Jadeite took its place with a grandslam, rocking the creature like a rocking horse.
It slammed down its fist, sending rocks flying upwards in all directions from the mighty force.
Jadeite tried to leap back, but on his third jump he was snagged, and nearly impaled.
He was simply scraped, though, due to half luck, half skill.
Half of his Shitennou uniform that he was still wearing 23 years later was ripped to shreds, like some kind of paper in a shredder, and he had a gnarly gash.
He took off his shirt, trying to imitate Goku when he got serious, and let out a roar himself.
It was the final showdown, and Jadeite fired his best lightning bolt, putting all his power into one shot.
The beast fought back with a rocky punch, the shaking fist pushing against the bolt of lightning.
"RRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" yelled Jadeite, pushing with all he had.
That's when he came to the realization it wasn't enough.
He kept fighting though, knowing it was all in vain.
He pushed back as hard as he could for a long time, but his mind had given up hope.
It'd be any moment now that'd he be overwhelmed and destroyed.
"Sapling, I have failed you," he said, giving in to the overwhelming power of the tectonic plate.
That's when Jadeite suddenly felt a ghostly hand on his shoulder.
"Leave it to me!" said Nephrite's ghost.
"Ah!" said Jadeite. "Welcome! I was waiting. Took you a little long though."
"Shut up," said Nephrite. "Or I'll leave."
"Do what you want," said Jadeite, calling his bluff. "But I doubt you came back from the afterlife just to leave, so just hop to it."
Nephrite shook his head in exasperation.
Then, he turned to the beast, and extended both his arms, just like in episode 22 when he was about to fire at Tuxedo Mask.
"RRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" he yelled, shooting out an invisible wave of energy.
"What is this?!" said the tectonic, mimicking Queen Beryl in the dub.
That's when it showed Zoisite in a completely different background.
"I'm not doing this for you," he said, and then he appeared as a spirit.
"Let's go, you barbarian!" he yelled.
He fired the Motoki beam straight for the rocky devil's fist, pushing back even more.
The tectonic plate upped its efforts, and began overwhelming them again.
That's when Kunzite, standing in front of the North Pole background before the Earth got demolished, gave a smug smile.
"Ahhh," he said. "I knew you'd need my help."
He appeared, as a spirit of course, and then shot the ring attack that he fired at the Sailors.
"KUUUU!" he yelled.
"Screw you," said Nephrite. "This is all your fault. I could have lived."
The four Shitennou reunited at once for the first time in 23 years, and all gave everything they had against the rocky colossus.
But they were still at a standstill! If only something was left to push the edge…
That's when Super Beryl?! Appeared!
"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" she yelled, shooting her only attack. "YOU ARE MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!"
"YOU FOOL!" repeated the tectonic plate. "You will just die like everyone you know!" Then he paused. "By my hand!"
The tectonic plate expected Jadeite to look spooked, but Jadeite scoffed.
"HA!" he yelled. "I already accepted my death when I came here! Easy boi!"
"What'd you call me?!" screamed the plate, getting furious.
It unleashed its full power punch, overwhelming Jadeite and his pack of spirits.
His spirits quickly faded when the fist collided with the ground.
"Shoot!" said Nephrite, fading away.
There was a giant cloud of smoke, and for a second it looked like Jadeite was killed.
But that's when Jadeite flew out of the explosion, and straight up into space.
"FLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" taunted the rock, retracting its punch.
But that's when Jadeite came flying right back down like a meteor.
He had a trail of fire, and was moving one billion times the speed of light.
He readied the mightiest hammer kick in existence, and the tectonic plate gasped.
Despite Jadeite previously using every ounce of his energy, it appeared that he had suddenly got a burst of energy from who knows where.
All that mattered was that at that moment, it was the tectonic plate's final bow.
It did a resentful bow. "GG," he barked. Then under his breath, but not too quietly, he muttered, "Shitter."
Jadeite slammed his hammer kick into the center of the plate at its pressure point, instantly obliterating it.
Rocks rained from the sky, and Jadeite landed on his feet.
But that's when his body gave out permanently, from his injuries.
He dropped to the ground.
He slowly shut his eyes, and a smile came to his face.
"Goodbye," he said.
FIN