It wasn't easy for Gareth and Tetorō to find the right balance. There were a lot of times that Gareth had to threaten Tetorō because he overstepped the bounds in either direction - too harsh and cold or too vulnerable and pliant. But for every time he did, Tetorō found it just a little easier to trust him and the desire to have him stay by his side grew that little bit more.
The next time Gareth needed to let off steam, they went to the park, not wanting anyone else around, and Tetorō practiced being the other side for Gareth. If he was going to make Gareth stay with him for the rest of his life that way, then he should at least be able to give him what he needed within their proper limits also.
Some days it was hard to fight himself and Tetorō had to back off and breathe without Gareth around. Then he would go out with Nazuna and Rieze to bicker in a bar. Or he would go to the lolita cafe with Henrietta and be reminded again how harsh those two visits with Gareth had been and again seat the reminder in himself that life wasn't simple for anyone anywhere on the whole spectrum.
If Gareth disappeared for a night when he'd been pushed too hard himself, Tetorō didn't ask, comment, or complain. Gareth needed to do what he needed to do to keep himself where he wanted to be. Tetorō didn't care to be any more jealous than that. He knew Gareth was coming back.
One thing that helped them immensely as they reached the point where they felt just stable enough in their relationship, was that Haru and Sora quietly invited them into their lives. There was no pressure to be the same, only understanding companionship for Gareth and acceptance of Tetorō for the role he was required to play in his own life. With those two they were able to relax and learn how to be in public together, having an example to follow.
Enough of a friendship was established that they would have dinner nights together, with KR joining in, just sitting around the table being themselves without uncomfortable restraints. As time passed that friendship became immeasurably critical. Gareth would drag Tetorō there when he was about to go insane with the pressures from his father, the board of directors, and his wife.
Tetorō's wife wasn't a terrible one. She didn't even really care if he bedded her much at all, but she was demanding in other ways that on occasion brought out Tetorō's trauma of having to babysit Purrcy when she'd been at her worst.
Since Gareth understood that perfectly well, he knew exactly what to do for that. Hanging out with the guys was the best medicine, and getting weepy drunk so Tetorō could hang on to Gareth since his wife wouldn't allow that kind of weakness.
She was a good mother once the heir came - a traumatic beginning there - and the baby kept her attention sufficiently for a while. Purrcy trained her enough so that she did learn to at least call for Gareth when Tetorō became more than she could handle and to not worry about what the men did, since didn't all men just go drinking? (Or something like that. The conversation had not happened with the men present.)
When the wife wanted one more child, Tetorō swallowed, did his duty, and then put his foot down that there would be no more. When she gave him the look that said she thought he was odd and she might have to test him, he stared her straight in the face.
"Go have lovers if you require such things in life. Don't bring them home, don't betray the company or the family name, or I'll disown you and keep the kids, and don't tell me or let the press find out. I don't want to know. It's too hard to live that way, so I suggest you don't, but I won't divorce you if you need it that bad to seek out another man's bed just for his body."
She'd stared at him, open mouthed. "And if I fall in love with him?" she asked, almost angrily.
"I just said it, didn't I? Don't tell me and don't betray the family or company. You're my wife regardless. If you decide to shoot yourself in the foot and fall in love with someone not your husband, you're the one that will have to live with the pain."
She'd cried then. "Do you not love me? Ever?"
"I'm trying to learn to. But if you ask anyone who's ever known me, I don't love anyone, male or female. I do care about you and the children and hope you can be at least content if not completely happy.
"If the life I can give you has been sufficient until now, I hope it will continue to be so. If something is missing feel free to tell me, but if it's romance and heavy sex in bed, you'll never have it. So I'm giving you permission to go and get it elsewhere."
She did for a while, but like he'd predicted it was too difficult and tiresome, and the one she did fall in love with wasn't in love with her and broke her heart. Then Tetorō tenderly comforted her, which surprised her all over again and helped her to settle down and be content with her actually rather comfortable lot in life.
Gareth watched it all with soberness, contented looks, and smiles, particularly for the children. He became a close uncle to them, treating them with kindness and strength. He was only ever formal with the wife, keeping her at arm's length, particularly when she tried to test him. That was a trial in itself, but she eventually gave up out of boredom.
Life settled to a contented normal with the usual business emergencies and stresses relieved by careful attention to Tetorō's emotional needs as well as all his others Gareth had responsibility for. And as long as Gareth took care of himself as well, that was acceptable enough.
-:-:-:-:-
At Nyanta's death, they went quietly, calling it a business trip. All of Log Horizon was there and they quietly gave their condolences to his wife and son, only saying they were some of the Adventurers of Theldesia he had helped to make it through their time there. His life had been extended, but not to very old age, as he died at nearly seventy.
Purrcy died not many years later, at a very old age for a human woman. More than Log Horizon was there for that. As the favorite son, Tetorō was required to speak. He wept through the speech. When he sat down Gareth held his hand surreptitiously on one side while Naotsugu put his arm around him on the other in a relaxed and casual pose, although he was sober since he also was going to miss Purrcy.
They all cried again when Isuzu sang Dante's Prayer by Loreena McKennett.* She said Purrcy had asked her to learn it and sing it then as her last message to her family.
No one was surprised at Tetorō's tears (or Gareth's few silent ones) as they all stood in the cemetery after the service was over. Shiroe sobbed and Crusty held him on one side while Akatsuki held him on the other. They all gave Michael hugs before they left the gravesite, because they all knew he needed to cry, too.
He still didn't until he was alone in Shiroe's apartment with just Shiroe and Akatsuki present, which relieved everyone who'd been concerned. They were sure he cried in his room when alone as well. Naotsugu and Akatsuki kept Michael going up on the roof with them every morning to see he kept moving daily until he could move on his own again, and then they still made sure each morning he wasn't alone.
Because the dead were cremated in Japan, the islands not having enough room to bury that many bodies, Purrcy's children held a similar memorial service in the United States. Many of her Eagle sons, and those who remembered her went to that service.
The memorial stone in the Japan cemetery had both Purrcy's English name engraved on it, and her kanji. At the top of it Michael requested that an eight-tail kitsune fox be engraven within a doubled circle to represent both Theldesia and Earth. All her Japan family visited faithfully each year to perform the Japanese memorial service.
At times after Purrcy's death, particularly when Tetorō wanted to talk to Purrcy, he would freeze up and then have to call Gareth in and lock the door to receive comfort again until he could move forward. It was hard to have brought Purrcy back and to have thought of her living for so long.
The reality of Earth's hardest reality was difficult. People died on Earth and there was no bringing them back. To have Purrcy dead meant something special. It was the better option than being a Summon, required to come to living again and again, but it was still hard.
When Tetorō's children were working on their own families, having blessed him with three young grandchildren, his wife became ill. Two months later she passed away. -Gareth was at Tetorō's side as always and finally in front of his children he turned to Gareth to be held, and cried. "See," Gareth said softly, patting him on the back, "you could learn to love someone, even if you didn't believe in yourself."
Tetorō's hands clenched on Gareth's jacket lapels. "You are not allowed to die before me," he ordered fiercely and quietly. There was no answer for that one. Gareth just held him and smiled softly at the adult children, who weren't too surprised that their father had turned to him for strength yet again.
Gareth had always lived with them in a back bedroom, typically eating alone or with the other servants that were few - the one maid, and the chef and general groundskeeper. Sometimes he'd been invited to join in relaxed family dinners or even sometimes breakfasts when the two men needed to rush out the door early for some distant business meeting. After the death of their mother, they knew their father was in good hands.
Gareth walked in the next morning, Tetorō not wanting to get out of bed, and pulled out Tetorō's clothes, set them on the bed, then walked into the bathroom and drew the bath. Then he returned to the bed and held out his hand. "Come, Tetorō. Until you can move yourself again, I'll be your manservant. I still remember my lessons from Maihama."
Tetorō gave Gareth his hand and allowed himself to be pulled out of bed. They had meals together after that, Gareth making sure Tetorō ate properly. Every morning and night he cared for Tetorō until he was able to move forward more easily on his own. Through the days he made sure Tetorō was in his office, then fielded most of the work, gradually allowing it to build back up as his strength returned as well.
There came an evening, after he'd readied Tetorō for bed, that Tetorō caught Gareth's hand and wouldn't let him leave the room. Gareth looked at Tetorō with compassion and moved closer.
He put his hand on Tetorō's chest and pushed him to the bed, then covered him with the blankets. He gave Tetorō a kiss on the forehead. "You are only feeling the fears of the child. Sleep and in the morning you will feel the sun rise inside as well as outside."
Before Tetorō could do more than begin to reach for him, Gareth was out of range and walking quietly to the door. He turned out the light and said quietly, "If you really want to break down that door now, you need to set the proper protections into place first. A homosexual affair of the company president will bring your company down and leave your children and grandchildren homeless. Consider it more carefully."
The door opened and closed quietly. Tetorō wept into his pillow, but Gareth had not been wrong. He was only feeling vulnerable that night with no wife to attach it to.
-:-:-:-:-
Ten years later and they both were getting old, but were comfortable together. Tetorō began the process of transferring the company over to his son in totality, parts and pieces of it already being in his hands. He purchased a small retirement home in the country, but still near enough to amenities, furnished it, purchased one small car, and moved out, giving the family home to his son's family.
He took Gareth with him to reassure his children he wouldn't be alone so far from them. Then he would greet Gareth with a kiss each morning and they would cuddle on the couch after dinner until they were tired enough to sleep for the night.
Shiroe's death was difficult for Tetorō, and also for Akatsuki. Gareth invited her to come live with them for a while until she could face the world again. Naotsugu, also nearly devastated, came and stayed nearby for a couple of days until he was sure Akatsuki would obediently continue to move forward for the two men. Then he returned to the company and began to groom a young up-and-coming to take over, Shiroe and Akatsuki never having had children of their own.
Akatsuki needed the personal attention, already knew of their relationship, and when they walked out of the bedroom together the first morning, only pursed her lips in the decades-long sign for absolute guild secrecy. They both kissed her on either cheek and got breakfast ready for them all, and held her hands as she would randomly weep silently.
They made sure to have her sit outside on the porch a lot until she could finally get through a day without weeping. Then they would take her on slow walks into town to the convenience store to make sure she purchased a red bun. That made sure she was doing something for her and put food into her so she didn't waste away. It also made the blood flow for each of them. In the end, she was unable to return to Tokyo and stayed with them in the second bedroom.
It was afternoon when Gareth called Tetorō's son and told him his father had died quietly on the front porch when he'd gone in to make lunch for them. His son immediately started the funeral arrangements. Gareth put down the phone and as Akatsuki held him tightly, he sobbed in great grief, having been obedient to Tetorō's wish to out-live him, but not wishing it had been so.
Akatsuki was a great help to Gareth in getting through the next weeks. They were allowed to continue living in that house according to Tetorō's last wishes and will. That kept the real relationship between Tetorō and Gareth secret since it now could look like Akatsuki had stayed after Shiroe's death to be with Gareth. They still slept in the separate bedrooms unbeknownst to anyone else.
When Gareth finally passed away less than a year later, Akatsuki sighed and called Marielle. That couple helped her with the funeral arrangements and called the few remaining people. Michael and Henrietta had passed already, but some few of the Eagles came and the juniors of Log Horizon who were now adults with adult children and grandchildren nearly on the way themselves.
Akatsuki refused to return to Tokyo, but she faithfully called Marielle to let her know she was doing okay. The day no phone call came there was no one to answer it. Minori, knowing it was now her responsibility, called Akatsuki to tell her of Marielle and Naotsugu's accident that had taken them.
When there was no answer the second day, Minori drove out to the house and found Akatsuki had also passed away of natural causes on the same day as Naotsugu and Marielle. It was a sad week with a triple funeral. Isuzu, Minori, and Touya wrapped arms around each other and held each other tightly, the final remaining members of Log Horizon on Earth from the original guild.
"Did you choose the two-way door?" Touya asked the two women anxiously.
Minori bit her lip. "Touya ...I didn't want to be separated from you, but I wasn't sure going back there was a good thing. That's why I asked you what you were doing."
Isuzu tossed her hair out of her face and looked away. "I wasn't sure it was worth it to go back and have my side cold. Who knew how long it was going to take? It was hard to decide, because we all had so much fun together, but somehow it was hard for it to be a practical choice."
"Why do you ask?" Minori wondered. "I thought they determined it wasn't possible and shut down the program?"
Touya looked at her soberly from his wheelchair. "That isn't Shiroe and isn't Log Horizon. It is us to have found it and then understood that it was different than expected and hide the door."
"The uproar when we all returned was massive," Isuzu said, understanding. "To have had to face that we could move through dimensions to far worlds... We would be living in a very different place right now if the two way door had been found and used publicly."
Both of the twins nodded. Touya glanced at Minori, then said to Isuzu, "Do you remember the Christmas present that Purrcy-san gave us way back when?"
Her brow furrowed. "It was a magic connection, wasn't it?" she asked, dragging that memory back with a little difficulty.
"Yes." He lowered his voice. "It has always worked here. I've often wondered if that's because there is some level of magic here, ...or if it's because the door has been left open a crack and we still have some connection to Theldesia."
He looked over to the memorials of the three of their friends they were saying farewell to. "I've found some comfort at each of these funerals to think that perhaps they are not dead. Their bodies here have died, but perhaps their spirits have returned through that door back to Theldesia.
"I know Shiroe signed on for the two-way door and he lived here until he'd had a full life. I think if they had understood a thing about that return, he would have been content after he'd found the door, and he wouldn't have told anyone the answer so that everyone else could also remain content through this life."
"Do you think he and Purrcy found it, then?" Isuzu asked.
Touya looked up at her soberly. "I do."
Minori's smart brain was working hard and fast on that. "Theldesia didn't want to let the Adventurers go, really, did it? Do you think it allowed for us to come back and live the lives we were so angry to be stolen from, but it expects us to come back?"
Touya hesitated a bit. "I do sort of think that. I'm a bit hopeful that the final agreement we all selected for holds, though. That those of us who wanted to go back and play more are the only ones who get brought back. It kept the ones that wanted to stay. I would hope that it will allow those who didn't ever want to go back to die here and stay dead, or whatever we do here. That's what I hope."
The women thought about that. "That's why you wanted to know which we've chosen?" Minori asked.
Touya nodded a little sadly. "I chose to go back. I loved being able to run and fight and climb the tree. I would be sad to be there without you."
Minori looked at him sadly and bit her lip with a glance at Isuzu. Isuzu looked between them, then tossed her head. Lightly she said, "We're Log Horizon, the favorite guild of Inari. It probably didn't care what we chose. It's likely to not let us ever get away."
Minori slumped. "Well, if the door is open and that's the way it's working ...I'll bet you're right. Otherwise, I'll be just as happy to die and sleep a long, long time." Touya and Isuzu smiled at her and she smiled shyly back.
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