Taylor Varga

by mp3.1415player

Taylor has a bad day that ends in a locker. Everyone has heard that one. It goes somewhat differently after that, as her call for help is answered by something from a lot further away than one might expect... A story in which Taylor makes a very large friend, the world gets confused, and Danny comes into his own.

406. Omake - The Quark! The Quark!

"Quark!"

"AMY!"

"What?"

"Quark!"

"What is that?"

"What is what?"

"That. The thing you're hiding behind your back."

"Quark!"

"This?" "Quark!"

"Yes. That. The thing that looks like a duck as reimagined by H R Geiger."

"It's..."

"Quark!"

"Go on."

"It's sort of... a duck?"

"Quark!"

"Ducks do not have horns. Neither are they red. Or have tentacles. Or have glowing purple eyes, and smoke coming out of their beaks every time they go..." "Quark!"

"And, while we're on that subject, normal ducks say 'quack.'"

"Quark!"

"No. Quack. Oh, god, I'm talking to a duck... thing."

"..."

"Stop laughing, you scaly pain in the ass!"

"I can't help it, the expression you got was exactly like that thing did for a second there."

"Idiot. Where was I. Oh, right. What. Is. That. Thing?"

"A... demonic duck?"

"Quark!"

"Why in the name of Varga did you make a demonic duck?"

"Seemed like a good idea at the time?"

"Oh, for..."

"And it lays really spicy eggs."

"Quark!"

"Oh, great! Are they vindaloo flavored?"

"Yep."

"Fantastic."

"Not fantastic. It looks like it wants to eat people."

"Quark!"

"Nah, it only eats rats. And fish. And birds. And bricks. And... well, more or less anything, but I made it not want to eat people. Or dogs, since that would upset Rachel, or cats, because I like cats, and reptiles, just because."

"Stop grinning like that, both of you."

"Quark!"

"You can shut up too, you bizarre freak of nature. God, I don't know why I bother, sometimes."

"Here, have one of these eggs."

"Why is it steaming?"

"Self-heating."

"Quark!"

"Well, obviously, what other sort of egg would a demonic duck lay?"

"I hate both of you."

"Go on, try it."

"..."

"Actually, that's not bad at all."

"Quark!"

"The cafeteria people like them."

"You're serving them in the cafeteria?!"

"Of course, where else would you serve eggs?"

"I give up."

"Quark!"

"Shut up."

"There, there, Quarky, she didn't mean it. Hey, where are you going?"

"I'm going to go and sit on the bottom of the bay until I can deal with this, that's where."