Sometimes people said things that Mukai couldn't understand.
"Sinterklauss." Said Mine. Mine liked to say things that didn't make any sense. Maybe they were doing that because all the other people were saying things that didn't make sense. That happened when you got on an airplane. You got on the airplane and sat down and then when you got up again you were in a place where people said things that didn't make any sense.
Also it was very cold.
"Santa." Said Mukai as she pointed at the picture. Maybe Mine just didn't know a lot of words. That would have made sense too. Mine needed to talk to Mama. She knew all the words. Like the word for what they were drinking. Hot chocolate. She knew hot cocoa, Ryou made it for her all the time, and it was different from this. He put in three whole bars of chocolate for her. This barely tasted like chocolate.
It was warm, though, so that was good.
They were drinking drinks outside. That didn't make sense. You had eat and drink in the house at the table. Mama had said so. Caterpillars said so too. You had to eat and drink at a table inside of the house. They weren't at their house, though, they were at Santa's house. This was where he lived, everyone had said, and this was where the presents came from. Mukai liked presents.
She liked them a lot better than Mine trying to get her to say words that didn't make any sense.
"She still pretty much only knows Japanese." Said Mama
"She knows a lot of things." Said Shigeko. That was still Shigeko even though her hair was different. Mama said so. Sometimes people changed their hair like they changed clothes. Mukai never changed her hair. She liked it this way. Now she and Mukai matched. They both had red hair and they both had braids. That was a thing that Mukai knew, sames and opposites. She knew a lot of things!
"I know things!" said Mukai. She did know things. She knew that this was where Santa lived, she knew that she was going to get presents, and she knew that there was snow on the ground. She had seen this in books. It was cold, though, but fun to kick and throw but not eat.
"But can you speak Dutch? That's the question." Said Mine. Mukai kicked some snow at them. She didn't know that question…but she knew a lot of things! She pulled her arms way back, that way she could throw her hot chocolate right at Mine. Ryou had taught her that. He knew a lot of things too.
"Give it up, Toshi, she's never going to get it. Aren't you? Aren't you?" asked Ryou. He picked her up and before she knew it she was flying through the air. It wasn't scary at all, not like when Shibata threw her. Ryou always caught her.
"I'm just saying that it's easier to learn when you're young." Said Mine. Ryou put her down right in front of Mine…she didn't want to be here! She tugged on Ryou's pants until he picked her up. It didn't take a long time.
"But you speak seven languages and you didn't start learning until you were an adult." Said Shigeko. She took the hot chocolate from Mama and tried to make her drink it. She turned her head. She could drink on her own! She wasn't a baby anymore!
"Nine, and think of how many I could have learned if I had started when I was two." Said Mine. They reached into their coat and pulled out their little metal water bottle. Mama made a face like she was grossed out. Mine didn't say anything, they just put water in their hot chocolate. Shigeko reached up with her hands, not her colors, and Mine rolled their eyes before they handed her the little metal water bottle. Water was boring. Soda was good! Soda and the kind of hot cocoa Ryou made and also chocolate milk and strawberry milk but not the hot chocolate here!
"She's two and a half now." Said Mama as she took the hot chocolate from Ryou. Mukai held onto his coat. She didn't want Mama to pick her up. When Mama held her then she had to go the places that Mama wanted her to go. When Ryou held her then he took her wherever she wanted to go.
"That doesn't make her sound any older." Said Mine. Mukai reached over to slap Mine. She didn't want Mine to talk anymore! They talked too much! She tried to slap them but Ryou grabbed her arm….hey! He was supposed to be her friend, not Mine's!
"There's a big difference between two and a half." Said Mama. Mukai kicked and tried to get away. Ryou shook his head and put her down on the ground. Now her feet were cold through her shoes and she still hadn't hit Mine! And they really deserved it!
"She's two and three quarters, since she was born in February. Right, Tsuchiya?" asked Shigeko. She put up a wall between her and Mine…mean! She was being so mean! Where was Sho? Sho was never mean. He was always nice and he always wanted to play and he had promised her that they would see Santa! So where was Santa!
"Hey, someone's been paying attention in homeschool." Said Mama. Mukai crossed her arms and walked away. She didn't want to go to school. She didn't want to be held. She didn't want to drink hot chocolate. She wanted to see Santa! She wanted to see Santa right now!
"I'm going now! Bye-bye!" said Mukai as she walked away. She didn't get very far since Mama had very long arms.
"Mukai, wait for everyone." Said Mama as she tried to pick Mukai up. She wasn't going to let her! She was going to see Santa no matter what! Even if Mama and the others didn't want to!
"Yeah, I need a seeing eye kid." Said Ryou as he put his arm around Shigeko. He had long arms too but she would rather have been carried by him then by Mama. Mama never let her do anything fun!
"Sho's coming back soon…I think." Said Shigeko as she looked down at the ground. Mukai stopped moving long enough to see what she was looking at. Just more snow. No Sho, just the snow.
"He's off tormenting the reindeer. I doubt we'll ever see him again." said Mine
"I don't think he's tormenting them. Shibata's with him…and anyway Sho is nice to animals." Said Shigeko
"He had better not be riding the reindeer without me." Said Ryou
"You're going to get gored." Said Mine using another word that she didn't know. Why did Mine have to make up so many words?!
"Gored! You get gored!" said Mukai as she pointed to Ryou. She didn't know what that word meant but Ryou needed to know that something was going to happen to him.
"Nah, I'll be alright. Don't worry about me. Anyway, who wants to go find Santa? Mob? Toshi? Tsuchiya?" asked Ryou. She reached over to Ryou but Mama wouldn't let her go! Mama was so mean sometimes!
"We should wait for Sho. it's not nice to exclude him…I mean he excluded himself from hot chocolate but it's still mean to exclude him from seeing Santa." Said Shigeko. It wasn't fair! If Mama wanted to hold onto someone then she could have held on to Shigeko. Then Mukai and Ryou could have gone to have fun! Mama wasn't fun at all. She was almost as not fun as Mine was and there wasn't anything fun about Mine.
"Why not just wait for Hatori and Serizawa to get done with whatever the hell it is they're doing while we're at it?" asked Mine
"They're playing videogames and I don't know when they'll be done…but Serizawa isn't up to going outside and Hatori hates the cold…and the heat…he doesn't like weather or being outside so we shouldn't wait for them. Sho wants to see Santa, though, I think, so we should wait for him." said Shigeko
"No Sho…Sho is gone." Said Mukai as she looked around. He was gone but he was coming back again…right? Right? Right?!
"Well can you blame him? They call this hot chocolate? I could do better than this." said Ryou
"You kind of put in a lot of chocolate." Said Shigeko
"Three bars is excessive, even you have to know that." Said Mine
"Three…are these full size chocolate bars?" asked Tsuchiya
"From Costco." Said Shigeko
"It's less hot chocolate and more like hot sludge." Said Mine
"Wait, you guys really don't like my hot cocoa?" asked Ryou
"I like having a pancreas." Said Mine
"I think that it's ok." Said Shigeko. Ryou leaned down and kissed her on the top of her head. Mama looked away.
"Ryou. Come on." Said Mine. They gave Ryou a mean look. He just shrugged. He didn't notice the mean look, of course, because he always had his eyes closed. Also if you poked him in the eyes he didn't have any. It was kind of scary to do that.
"Mob doesn't mind, do you Mob?" asked Ryou
"Um…that was ok…um…Mukai wants to go see Santa so we should do that. Sho can see him later. We're going to be here all Christmas so…so he has time." Said Shigeko as she took Mukai's hand and started walking really fast. Mukai had to run to catch up but she didn't mind. She just wanted to see Santa so she could get all of her presents. She was going to get dolls from Disney and dolls from Barbie and Jenny dolls, too and also ham-hams and candy and another Sho. That way she would have a Sho if the first Sho went away again.
This was going to be a good Christmas.
If she didn't fall down, of course. If she fell down then she'd get hurt and if she got hurt then it would be a bad day. Fuckuda wasn't around to make her feel better when she got hurt. He was with Caterpillars. Caterpillars came back but now she was gone. She wondered if he would come back to her. Sometimes you went away from people and then you never saw them again. Like the people from the before-place. The people who she knew she had known but she couldn't remember. Now she had new people, new friends, but she wanted the old people too!
She wanted all the people!
"New people…more people!" said Mukai. People were looking at her, now, but she didn't want those people. She wanted the people she remembered. Shigeko stopped walking and tried to pick her up. She pushed her away.
"Come on, I can take you to-" said Shigeko
"I want to walk!" said Mukai
"Are you sure? I was walking too fast and-" said Shigeko
"Want people!" said Mukai
"Everyone's coming. Shimazaki just has to walk kind of slow because he can't see ice and snow that well but-" said Shigeko
"Want to walk!" said Mukai
"You want to walk to Santa or wait for everyone else?" asked Shigeko
"See Santa!" said Mukai
"Then can I pick you up?" asked Shigeko
"Pick me up…and see Santa?" asked Mukai
"Yes, I'll pick you up and then we can see Santa." Said Shigeko
"Pick me up! Now!" said Mukai. She held out her hands. Shigeko picked her up and carried her, with her arms and not her colors. She never used her colors when the people were around. The weird people. The ones without powers, the ones who said words that she couldn't understand, the ones that were all around. She hid her face in Shigeko's coat in case some of the people without colors saw her. She didn't know how it worked, not having colors. It was like they were dolls, like dolls that got up and walked and talked and stuff…
That would have been a good present!
"Dolls for present! Present for Mukai!" said Mukai as she tugged on Shigeko's hair. She needed her to go faster! She could see Santa. There he was in his red clothes…and no colors…but he was right there! He was real even if he looked like a doll…like a big doll that walked and talked and stuff! That would have been the best present ever!
"Don't tell me, tell Santa." Said Shigeko as she carried Mukai. There were some of the other doll people there, the ones without colors, but they were leaving. Good. Then she wouldn't have had to be near them. They were kind of scary, seeing dolls that weren't dolls. She didn't know why they went to Santa if they were dolls. Santa gave you dolls. He didn't give dolls to dolls. Santa would give her a lot of dolls. She just had to ask him. She was real, she wasn't a doll, and she had colors. She made them bright so that Santa could see.
"Santa! Over there!" said Mukai as she tried to make her colors bright. Shigeko was too bright, that was the problem. It wasn't fair! Why did Shigeko get the bright colors but not her?!
"Hang on, wait for Minegishi. They're the only one who speaks the language here." Said Shigeko as they stopped right in front of Santa. They were so close! Mukai got free, Shigeko wasn't as big or as strong as Mama. She didn't want to wait for Mine. Mine was bad and when you were bad you didn't get Christmas. Ryou had said so, he had read it in a book. Even Sho said that it was real! She just had to get to Santa!
She ran. She slipped. She got caught.
"Never fear, dear child. Santa Claus speaks all languages." Said Santa as he caught her. He was…he didn't have any colors…but he felt like he did. He felt like when Mama was really happy, or like when anyone was really happy. He smelled good, too, like cookies and bread and candy canes. He was red, too, not in his colors but in his clothes. That was good, red was the best color. The best of all, though, was that he could talk!
"You talk! You can talk!" said Mukai. Santa laughed and patted her on the head.
"Yes I can, and so can you. So tell me, have you been a good girl this year?" asked Santa
"I'm a good girl! Presents for me! Present for Mukai, please and thank you!" said Mukai. She knew that she had been very good this year, Sho and Ryou and Caterpillars had said so. Mama said that she did bad things sometimes but Mama always said that. She had been a very good Mukai and she was going to get all the presents!
"Are you sure about that? Have you been good to your mother and father? And your sister and brother? You haven't been hitting people, have you?" said Santa
"I hit people." Said Mukai. She did that all the time but that wasn't bad. Sometimes people hit people. Ryou hit people, mostly Hatori, all the time. Sho hit Ryou sometimes. Caterpillars hit lots of people, the pajama people, the ones without a lot of colors.
"And have you been listening to your mother?" asked Santa
"I listen…listen to Mama." Said Mukai. She heard Mama when she said things. That was listening. Mama was always telling her to listen but it made no sense. Of course she could hear Mama when she was yelling. She yelled in the house and that was a bad thing. Mama wasn't going to get any presents this year. Not like Mukai. She had been the best Mukai ever! Shibata even told her so. He said that she was the very best Mukai ever and he didn't tell lies. He was getting lots of presents this year too. He had been a very good Shibata. Shigeko wasn't getting presents, though, because she did bad things. Mama was always talking about the bad things that she did. Mine too. They did bad things…but not Mukai! She was good!
"Well then so long as you're good to your family and stop hitting then I'm sure you'll get just what you want for Christmas. A doll that can walk and talk, if I'm correct." Said Santa
"I want that! And that! Please and thank you!" said Mukai. There was a big bowl of candy canes and she wanted it! But Santa only gave her one. Only one snack, like Mama gave her…but she needed more snacks! She needed all the snacks. She tried to reach over with her colors and grab it but Shigeko used her colors to stop her.
"How did you know what she wanted?" asked Shigeko
"Why because I'm Santa Claus." Said Santa. He handed Shigeko a candy cane. She took it. Shigeko could get one if she wanted one. This was hers. She wanted it so it was hers. She was a good Mukai and she got whatever she wanted.
"Santa please and thank you!" said Mukai as she put the candy cane in her mouth. She tried to lick it but it had the wrapper on. She spat it out and gave it to Shigeko. She didn't want candy canes with wrappers. She wanted presents. She had seen Santa and now she wanted presents and-hey! She could feel Sho's colors. She threw her other candy cane at Shigeko and ran to Sho. Shigeko was calling after her but she didn't stop.
She couldn't stop.
She had to see Sho and then and there would be presents! Then there would be Christmas! All the Christmas in the world! She had been a good Mukai….wait…ok. She stopped running. There was ice. If she fell down then she knew that she would hit Shigeko, she was catching up, and Santa had said that good Mukai's didn't hit people…but Caterpillars said that it was ok….oh! This was a lot. She sat down in the snow and kicked it! She kicked it and made clouds. Cold clouds….this was fun. Shigeko said that she had to stop but it was fun and…and she was a good Mukai! She was a good Mukai but…but having fun was bad? But then how did it work? She didn't know. She didn't understand. This was too much! She didn't understand…she tried to but she didn't!
But at least kicking the snow was fun!