Sho had never like being stared at.
He had red hair blue eyes, and freckles. People had always started at hi for as long as e could remember. People in the streets, people at school back when he went, even people in Claw once Dad started brining him and Big Sis to work with him. He was used to being stared at by strangers. His own sister on the other hand…
Well that was just too much.
"What are you looking at?" asked Sho. He put his pencil down and looked over the top of his sketchbook. Big Sis stared at him from across their room. Next house they moved to he was getting them bunk beds. Then she wouldn't have been able to look at him. What was she even staring at? She had known him since the day he'd been born, she should have been used to how he looked. He wasn't any different, just taller, he hadn't really changed that much. If anything he was the one who should have been staring at her.
She had changed so much it was like she had been replaced with a totally different person.
"Nothing." Said Mob. She had just been watching Sho work, that was all. He had been concentrating really hard at whatever that was. She'd check his sketchbook later. He used to show her his drawings but that was before…before everything changed. Before she had hurt him…she had never wanted to hurt him…but she had…
She had made Shimazaki like her.
She didn't know what she had done but she should have known better than to do it. Fukuda was right, it took a long time for love to fade. Like with her and Teru. She had been in love with him for three whole years, from when she had been nine until last year when he…when they…when they did all the things and he kicked her out. That had been enough to make her fall out of love. She had been pushed out of it, really, pushed headfirst out of love with the only boy she had ever imagined being with…having a life with and stuff. Shimazaki hadn't pushed Sho out of love with him, She had fallen out of love on his own, but it was like a slow fall. Like at indoor skydiving. She didn't want Shimazaki to do something mean to push Sho out of love with him….and she didn't want to do something mean to Shimazaki to push him out of love with her.
She just wanted everything to be ok again…but that wasn't going to happen.
"Then look at nothing in some other direction. I'm trying to work." Said Sho. He wasn't drawing anything important, just what he remembered Ritsu looked like. It was dangerous to have pictures of him, Sho wasn't a moron he knew that, but he had to draw Ritsu so he wouldn't forget what he looked like…so he wouldn't forget that he had a boyfriend who loved him or at least liked him a whole lot. So he didn't forget who was waiting for him when this was all over.
So he remembered that he had a good reason to do all the things that he had done already, that he had a good reason to hurt all the people he had hurt, and that he had a good reason to tell all the lies that he had told.
"Ok….I'm sorry. Please don't be hurt." Said Mob. Did this count as not staying away from Sho? She was all the way in her own bed so…so that must have been far enough, right? She didn't know. She had no idea how she was even supposed to stay away from her own little brother. They had been together for almost her entire life. They lived in the same apartment. When Dad came back and they moved to Beijing then they would live in the same apartment, the same room, all over again. She wasn't Dad, she didn't have away missions that brought her back to Japan all the time, and she didn't really want them. She wanted to be near her little brother, to lay down next to him and watch him work, to hug him tight and never let him go, but she didn't.
Whenever she was near him she caused him pain….and that was a better reason to stay away from him than Fukuda threatening to tell Dad on her.
"Will you stop that?" asked Sho. Why was she trying to make him feel guilty? Didn't she realize that he felt guilty all the time?! Didn't she know…well she didn't. She had no idea what he'd been through. It was like Fukuda had said, like Sho had known for his entire life. She had been born right and he had been born wrong. She got to have fun all the time, do whatever she wanted to do, and be with whoever she wanted to be. That was because she was like Dad. She was just like him…well not just like him, she wasn't nearly as big of a dick hole as Dad was, but she could be…she could kind of be a dick hole sometimes. She just didn't get it…and she never would. He couldn't tell her what he was doing or how he was feeling or…or anything. If she knew even half of what he got up to, what he was planning, then she would have gone running right to Dad…
And the worst part was that she…that she would have thought that she was doing the right thing.
"Stop what? I'm not doing anything….I'm all the way over here." Said Mob
"Stop being all…like that." Said Sho
"I'm not being like anything. I'm just sitting here." Said Mob
"Stop trying to make me feel guilty! Don't you think that I feel guilty enough already!?" asked Sho. He threw his sketchbook down onto his bed and closed it. The last thing that she needed to see was the last good thing in his life…well the last good thing in his life that wasn't related to him. If she found out about Ritsu then she would have gone running right back to Dad. She wouldn't have even waited for him to come back from his big super sudden away mission to Osaka. She would have run right across the water to tell him…because she would always side with him no matter what….
It wasn't fair…but life wasn't fair. Or at least it hadn't ever been fair to him.
"I…I'm not trying to make you feel anything. Please, don't think that I am. I love you." Said Mob
"See? You're doing it again! Can you just leave me alone!?" shouted Sho
"Sho…I am leaving you alone. I'm all the way over here on my bed and…and don't be so loud. You might wake Mukai." Said Mob
"She can't hear me." Said Sho
"Her apartment is right on the other side of this wall. Maybe we should just…both be quiet. Maybe we should get ready for bed so that way when she wakes up on her own we'll be able to play with her and stuff." Said Mob. Did it count as staying away from Sho if Mukai was there to be like a…a barrier, between them? That was what she needed. Some kind of barrier. Like a wall made of glass or something so she could still see her brother and be with him without making Fukuda tell Dad about her and Shimazaki. She didn't want Shimazaki to get hurt just because he had fallen in love with her…and Teru, too, she wanted him to be safe…why had she even told Fukuda about Teru? He had gotten her so mad and confused…
And it hadn't really gone away…not totally.
"You just want me to go to bed so you can go out with Shimazaki." Said Sho. She didn't need as much sleep as he did, she was like Dad, and he had woken up so many times to an empty room. He had thought that she had gone to hang out with Dad or Minegishi or something but, no, she had snuck out to go and be with Shimazaki…not even snuck out! She was a girl so it was ok for her to be with him. She had boobs so he wanted to be with her. She just…she liked him back! She knew how Sho felt…used to feel…about him but she had still made him her boyfriend and-and-and-
And it wasn't fair! Why did this stuff keep on happening to him!?
"I'm not going to do that, I don't even want to do that…and anyway he and Minegishi are doing something tonight and it's just kind of weird for me to be there with them together…and stuff…" said Mob. She didn't know if this would get back to Fukuda. Sho told him everything, it seemed, and that made sense. Fukuda was one of the people that they had known the longest. He was one of the people that remembered Mom and the Castle and…and he used to be one of the few people who loved them. Now he only liked Sho…and Mob had no idea why. She wished that she knew what it was that she ha done to him so she could just make this stop already! She didn't like him and he didn't like her so…so why did she feel like this!?
It wasn't fair! Why did these things keep on happening to her?!
"Yeah. Stuff. They're doing stuff and you're doing stuff and everyone's doing stuff." Said Sho. Gross. He couldn't believe that she had actually done stuff with Shimazaki. He couldn't believe that she would have done something like that to him, her own brother! She knew how he used to feel and like Fukuda said, it took a long time for those kinds of feelings to totally go away. She had done it with him anyway and…and she hadn't even though about how it would have hurt him! Why did she have to be so selfish all the time?!
"Not everyone….and anyway I don't want to talk about him. We don't have to talk about anything. We can just be here and I can watch you draw and then maybe you can show me your drawing…like how you used to do when we were little. I'll stay over here the whole time, though. I know how you don't want to be around me anymore." Said Mob. She wished that…she wished that things could go back to the way they were before. Back when things had been easy…easier than they were now. She used to be little, she used to be happy, she used to be like Mukai. She didn't have to worry about things like love and Dad beating up the people she loved. She used to be friends with Sho, really good friends, and even back when he'd hit her all the time they had still been able to at least be together. Now she just…she didn't know what to do. She couldn't even go to be with Minegishi because they were mad at her…well they hadn't yelled at her in a while…but she knew that they were sill mad. If she still wanted to have Shoko then Minegishi was still mad…
She didn't know why. If she had Shoko then at least she could have had someone who had to love her no matter what….someone who could never leave her.
"Stop it! You're trying to make me feel guilty again! You know that….that it's not that I don't want to be around you. It's that I don't want…I can't….it's hard to be your brother sometimes, ok? You're always fucking me over. You fucked me over with this thing with Shimazaki, you fucked me over when I sent to Seasoning City, and…and you just…you always find some way to fuck me over!" said Sho
"I-I never meant to f-word you over. I just…I just want to be your sister….and your friend…and I don't want to hurt you. I could never want that." Said Mob
"If you didn't want to hurt me, and you wanted to be my sister, then why did you do it with the guy you knew that I was in love with for years?! What the fuck did you do that for, Shigeko!?" asked Sho
"Sho! I never…don't talk about that! And I never did that with him!" said Mob. She didn't want to talk about this with her little brother. She didn't want to talk about this with anyone. She had only done all the things once, and only once, and…and it was like it was haunting her. She felt like Hatori after the Christmas party. No matter what she said or did nobody would ever forget that she had done all the things…but she hadn't even done them with Shimazaki….but he wanted to, she knew that he wanted to, and everyone already thought that she did….
Did they really have to talk about it, though!?
"Why not? I'm not a baby, I know what people who are boyfriend and girlfriend do…and anyway, I shouldn't even be upset. It's not like you're special or anything. He does that with everyone and you do that with everyone. You're only supposed to do that with people who are special to you." Said Sho. That was what Fukuda said, anyway. That was why people paired up, because you only had one person you wanted to do it with and that was the person you were in love with. That was why he shouldn't have been upset about this. He wasn't in love with Shimazaki and he didn't want to do it with him, either, since he had Ritsu. He wasn't like Big Sis or Dad. He wasn't like a Suzuki. He actually knew what it was to be in love with someone.
"Sho….I didn't do that with him and….and that was mean and…and I'm not going to tell you who I did that with because you're my brother and that would be a weird thing for us to talk about…." Said Mob
"I don't care who you do stuff with. It's none of my business. I have real shit to worry about….and anyway I don't even care about Shimazaki anymore so you can just go and see him and kiss him and do it with him or whatever." Said Sho. He picked up his sketchbook but didn't open it. He just needed to do something with his hands before he got up and started breaking things.
"I'm not going to see him….I want to be with you and I want to…I want to watch you draw and I want…I just want…" said Mob
"If you want something then go ask your boyfriend for it. Shimazaki always come whenever you call him and he always gets you what you need…well he used to come whenever I called him….but whatever. You're his girlfriend and you're probably going to be his wife and then you'll be Shimazaki Shigeko and I'll be able to draw in peace." Said Sho
"Little Brother! That's…that's the worst thing you've ever said to me. Even if I did marry Shimazaki, which I don't want to since he's got to marry Minegishi, I would never stop being your sister. I love you and…and I just wish you would stop saying Shimazaki's name. If you say his name then he'll come and I just….I don't want to see him right now!
"What? Why do you care? I bet you'd be happy if he came. I bet you'd be really happy is he just walked right through our door and-" said Sho. He didn't think that Shimazaki would actually have used the door, he didn't really need to, but before he even finished his sentence he heard the door open. Not the bedroom door, no, the front door.
No aura.
That wasn't Shimazaki. He never used doors unless he was really drunk or high and he couldn't trust himself to teleport. This was…he got up. Maybe a normal person had broken in and now he was going to kill them or dissect them when they were still alive or turn them into zombies….ok, that last one was crazy. It was probably another assassin after Dad. Well Dad wasn't home. If Dad had been home then Sho would have just the guy come in and kill him…but he wasn't. It was just him and Big Sis…and he had to protect her.
He may have been pissed at her but she was still his sister and he would have been sadder than he'd ever been in his life if some assassin guy came in and tried to kill her.
"What was that?!" whispered Mob. Oh no…she couldn't feel an aura. That must have been someone coming to hurt Sho! People were always trying to hurt Dad but Dad wasn't home. Sho was his son and the heir to everything so it made sense to kill him, Dad had said so. She wasn't in danger because she was a girl, she was more powerful, and it would have been pointless to try and kill her since her kids wouldn't be Suzuki's anyway. Sho was in danger. She got up.
Sho wasn't the one in danger. Whoever had been stupid enough to come after her little brother….they were the one in danger.
"Stay here! I've got this!" said Sho. She may have been more powerful but he knew her. She didn't have it in her to fight anyone…or to kill them. Was Sho going to have to kill this guy? Was that how this was going to….ok. He could do this. Shimazaki and Minegishi were out and they were the only people he knew who'd killed someone before. Sho was going to have to do this…for his sister. Both of them. Mukai was even more helpless than Big Sis….
A brother had to do what a brother had to do…and right now that meant protecting his little sisters.
He shoved Big Sis back onto the bed with his powers…well he tried to. She just blocked it and shook her head. He had no idea what she thought that she was going to be able to do. He didn't argue with her, though, otherwise the assassin would have heard him coming. He crept out of his room with Big Sis behind him. He kept his aura close and his powers handy. He could sort of feel them in his hands, the energy pooling like a bomb….
That was the best way to kill someone, he decided. That way you didn't have to get your hands dirty.
He held the energy bomb in his hands as he rounded the corner. Good, now he could get the jump on-what the fuck!? He threw the energy bomb off to the side…whatever, they hadn't been using that kitchen anyway. The kitchen didn't matter, the apartment didn't matter, nothing mattered but the person in front of him.
If he had been even a second off, even a millisecond, he could have…..
"I almost killed you!" shouted Sho as he picked Mukai up and hugged her. The front door was opened…but he'd locked it. He knew that he's locked it…and anyway Mukai was supposed to be locked into her apartment too. She did this sometimes…how did she keep on getting out? Could she teleport? No, no, she had used the door…
He was just glad that she was ok. He'd worry about figuring out the rest later.
"Do it again! Do it again!" shouted Mukai as Sho hugged her. That had been so pretty and loud! That would scare the train to Busan away for sure!
"Sho, no, don't do it again! That was dangerous!" said Mob. The kitchen was kind of…on fire. Parts of it. Sho had blown the counter up. The one where she kept the breadbox and stuff. The door had come off the refrigerator, too, and it was across the kitchen…plus the whole apartment had shaken so the floor might not have been alright either….
But at least her little brother and sister were safe…and she was safe too, with them.
"Get off me!" said Sho as Big Sis came in for a hug. She was so…ugh! What the fuck was with her!? Someone could have come in and killed her…he'd risked his life for her…but she was more worried about the bomb?! About how he'd broken stuff! She hadn't even…not even a 'cool new power, Sho'? Really?!
Well at least Mukai appreciated him.
"Train to Busan! Coming!" said Mukai. Shigeko needed to be there, too, in the hug in case the train to Busan came and all the scary people got off and bit them! She reached over to grab Shigeko's hair but Sho stopped her.
"Ok, Little Sis. We can watch Train to Busan again if you want. We can have a whole marathon if you want to! Trainto Busan, Old Boy, The-" Said Sho. At least one of his sisters had good taste. Maybe that was why she looked so much like him, because she was like him. Big Sis was like herself, that was why she didn't look like anyone in their family, even with the red hair. She should have just gone and done her own thing if she was going to be like that…always making him feel guilty and stuff.
"But Sho…those are really scary movies. They even scare me….." Said Mob. She didn't want Mukai to watch things like that. She was so little that she would get nightmares and they would never go away. Mob knew. She still had bad dreams about the movies Sho liked…like the part where the man cut his own tongue out…or the part where the people had to vote on who they'd eat…or the one about the people who all got sewn together…the one that made her throw up….
Sho wasn't going to listen to her, she knew, but she had to at least try…for Mukai's sake.
"Scary! It's a scary movie!" said Mukai. It was scary, so scary, the most scary! Even scarier than the thing that lived under the sink and tried to bite her. Sho could keep them safe, though. Mama and Shibata were jumping on the bed now so they were too busy to save her from the train. Caterpillars was gone too, he could have beaten the train if he had been there, so it was up to Sho. He could make the train explode and then the scary people wouldn't bite them!
Also he knew how to make poptarts and she kind of wanted a snack even though she wasn't allowed to eat after she brushed her teeth.
"Don't worry, I'll cover her eyes when the bad parts come on. If you don't want to watch with us then go to bed or better yet go away. Go sleep with Serizawa or something. You're good at that, sleeping with your friends." Said Sho. Big Sis didn't say anything…she just walked away. She didn't even put her shoes on and…and maybe that had been too much…maybe he had gone too far…but there was nothing that he could do about it now. He had fucked up, he knew that he'd fucked up, it was what he was good at…but there was nothing that he could do about it now. He needed to focus on the things that he could do, like being a good big brother to Mukai. If she wanted to watch scary movies then she could. He would never make her feel bad about being herself, ever, for as long as he lived. He would never try to change her…he would always put her first….he would never make her feel guilty or sleep with a guy she liked or used to like or…or anything. He would always think of her….
And he would never, ever, stare at her either.