Apparently a price could be put on their only son's education. And that price was two million yen a year.
"Hana, crunch the numbers faster." Said Ichimaro as he tried, desperately, to make two million yen appear out of thin air. It wasn't happening. Maybe he needed to leave better offerings to the Gods or go to the temple more often…or ask for a raise…
He would have had an easier time getting more money from the gods than his old miser of a boss.
"I'm crunching as fast as I can, Ichimaro. That doesn't change the fact that we just can't afford it." Said Hana. She took off her reading glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose. This wasn't working. They didn't have two million yen a year. Not unless they stopped eating, paying the mortgage, driving, using the utilities, and also one of them would have to die and be buried in a pauper's grave. There just wasn't any other way.
Poor Ritsu.
She could hear the boy's in the living room playing that soccer videogame they liked so much. Well Ritsu didn't much like it but he had always been a very difficult person to please, even as a baby. Shigeko had really been the only one who could get a smile out of him…well she had always been a delight. Not one to smile, no more so than her brother, but she had always had this sort of light she carried with her. Even as she got older…though she hadn't had much time to get older…well she had, but just not with her family. With this family.
She had a new family now.
Hana wondered, briefly, if in some other city in some other part of the country there was another couple sitting at their kitchen table desperately crunching numbers trying to come up with two million yen. Shigeko was nearly thirteen…she'd be thirteen on the twenty fifth. Middle school aged. She would have graduated from elementary school. Maybe she would have smiled through the ceremony…or at least not pulled a Ritsu and spent the whole ceremony glaring at everyone. Was she excited for middle school? Did she have a boyfriend, too, that she was trying to follow to the most expensive private school in the city? Or were her new parents sensible enough to tell her that they just didn't have the money? Or did they have the money? Were they rich? Did Shigeko want for nothing? Or was she….
Hana didn't know and she would never know.
"Well we'll just have to tighten our belts a little more, that's all." said Ichimaro. He had one kid left and he was going to do the best he could. His best had to be better than this. Ritsu was there son and they couldn't just put a price on his happiness like this. They only had him and…and he wasn't going to ruin this too. He would have done the same for Shigeko if she had still been with them…four million yen, then. He would have had to come up with four million yen a year for three years…twelve million yen…that was like paying for university…..
He wouldn't have minded paying for that twice.
He wouldn't have minded paying for anything twice. If Shigeko had been here then…well if she had been here then he of course would have found the money. He was going to find the money for Ritsu and Shigeko…well she would have been older than Ritsu…actually he had no idea how this would have gone if Shigeko had been there. Would she have even wanted to go to a fancy school like Black Vinegar? Or would she have wanted to go to Salt like most other kids in this neighborhood. You didn't have to test into it, it was close, and all of her friends would have been going there…if she even had friends. Maybe she would have been more like Ritsu. He'd only had Tsubomi for so long. Shigeko might not have been much of a social butterfly either. Or maybe she would have been. He just didn't know and he was never going to know. Shigeko had her own life, now, and if she had wanted to know where she came from then she could have looked them up…but that was ok. She had a new life now, a better one, and new parents.
Parents who could give her the best life possible be it fancy private schools or….or being able to take basic care of her.
"Ichimaro, if our belts were any tighter than this our circulation would be cut off." Said Hana with a shake of her head.
"We'll find a way. I mean we can't just put a price on Ritsu's happiness. He's our son." Said Ichimaro
"Do you think that I'm happy about this? I'm not, Ichi, but two million yen is…who has that kind of money to spend on middle school?" said Hana. Two million yen a year….that was more than it had cost her to go to university. They had the money, of course, but it was squirreled away for when it was time for Ritsu to go off to university. That much money…that was just too much for middle school. Middle school was important but what could they possibly have been teaching at that school to justify this sort of expense?
"Rich people." Said Ichimaro. Who else had that kind of money?
"Well I'm not getting rich selling houses, ichimaro, and I can't do another career change. Even this last one…women fifteen years younger than me are doing better. At this rate…" said Hana
"Hey, we'll figure it out. We have to, for Ritsu." Said Ichimaro
"I know, I know, we can't put a price on his education. We can't mortgage his future…but if we don't pay the mortgage he won't have a future." Said Hana
"I know, I know. It won't matter where Ritsu ends up going to school if he has to commute there from a cardboard box." Said Ichimaro. It wouldn't come to that, of course, they were always welcome at Mom's place…but she lived out in the middle of nowhere. There was nothing out there. The middle school, back when he'd gone, had only had one hundred and seventy five kids in total. That was back then, more people had left the area. There wasn't any work out there, not anymore, and what jobs there were had already been filled. He would have had to commute…so would Hana…and then Ritsu would have been uprooted from his entire life. He was not a country mouse, no way. He was the citiest of city mice. Even now instead of going out on Greenery Day to enjoy the Greenery he instead chose to sit inside playing videogames.
"It shouldn't be this hard. We did everything…we did most things right. We went to the right schools, we got the right jobs, we just…we did most things right…and here we are. We can't even afford to send our only child…our only son to school." Said Hana. Sometimes it felt pointless. What was the point of working if you never got ahead? Or even…she shouldn't have switched careers. That office, her last one, had been a hellhole. Rude bosses, long hours, people passing out at their desks…at the time the career change had made perfect sense. Realty was more flexible, she finally had enough time for Ritsu, and people were…well not nicer, never nicer, but nobody was fainting at their desk or sobbing in the bathroom. She should have started out where she was now…she was so far behind everyone else. She barely got commission….if she had started sooner then she would have put more away. She could have done more for Ritsu…she could have at least done right by one of her children.
"Well it could have been worse. We could have had to come up with four million…I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry." said Ichimaro quickly. Well he had certainly put his foot in his mouth, hadn't he? He hadn't been trying to bring it up, it had just come up. Four million yen would have been worse than two million….but he should have kept his mouth shut. It would have been a blessing straight from the gods at this point if they'd had to sit there worrying about how they were going to send BOTH of their children to school.
"Yeah, you weren't thinking. Shigeko….it wouldn't have been so bad if she'd…I have no idea what it would have been like. I just…" said Hana. Anger faded away. It had to. There was no point in being angry at Ichi, not when he had been thinking the exact same thoughts she had been. It was easier with just the one child…but that didn't mean that she wouldn't have given it all up, every single yen she had, to see Shigeko again. To have had the luxury of just…not even speaking to her, just seeing her. Just seeing the sort of person she had become. The sort of woman she was becoming.
"I know. I'm sorry. I don't know why I brought it up." Said Ichimaro softly. Hana reached across the table and put her hand over his.
"No, no, I understand. It's been on my mind…she's been on my mind too. Shigeko. What she would have been like. She's nearly thirteen. A year ago we would have been sitting at this table having the same conversation. That is if she even wanted to go to Black Vinegar. Maybe she would have wanted to go to Salt or…or what's the other school? The religious one that opened a couple of years ago?" asked Hana
"Saint something or other…but she wouldn't have wanted to go there. We're a Shinto family, always have been and always will be." Said Ichimaro with a shrug.
"That might have been her rebellious phase…if she's gone through it yet. She's still so young. For all we know she could spend her free time going to the temple or the library or…" said Hana
"Or she might have dyed her hair green and run away to become a Rockstar in Tokyo." Said Ichimaro. Hana laughed. He didn't know why, it hadn't been funny at the time. He'd been ready to go to the big city, to make his mark on the world, to really make something of himself….even though he only knew how to play one song and not even well. Thank God his brother had found him at the train station…he wondered if Shigeko ever had similar problems…probably not. She had always looked more like Hana, she was probably just like her. Sensisble.
"I don't think any child of ours would-" said Hana
"Well if she's anything like me….but she might have been more like you. I can't imagine you ever running away, dying your hair, or…well, anything." Said Ichimaro
"With my genes and our luck she's probably wearing blue mascara and miniskirts…spending all of her time at the mall…." Said Hana. Was Shigeko wearing makeup these days? Was she fighting with her mother about makeup, hairstyles, hemlines? Had she shouted 'it's not a phase, mom, this is who I am' yet? Had she slammed her door, stormed away in a huff, demanded to be treated as the adult she thought she was? Thirteen…it wasn't a good age for anyone…what she wouldn't have given to see her daughter through this time of her life…or any, really.
"Do kids still go to the mall?" asked Ichimaro. He held Hana's hand tighter in his. He could see it in her eyes, the place she was going to, and he hated it. This was…this was never a good time for them. Golden Week was never really golden, not with how close it was to Shigeko's birthday. It was so easy to just wallow in it, the sadness…their feelings. To drown in them…but they couldn't. They couldn't go there, to that place. Not with Ritsu in the house. He was so happy, he was doing so well, and the last thing he needed was to come into the kitchen and find his parents sobbing like a couple of babies.
"I think that they do. I mean I know that Teru does but he's…" said Hana. She waved her hand in the air like she was going to suddenly reach out and grab it, the perfect word for her son's little boyfriend. He was…a very…he was a good boy. Very nice, very polite, very clean, more than a little vain. He acted more like…well more like she would have imagined a boy in Ritsu's…circumstances, to be. She had no idea how to say that, though, not without sounding terribly old fashioned.
"I think he might secretly be thirty." Said Ichimaro with a laugh. That was a good word for it, a thirteen year old who was that…invested….in himself. His appearance, what he ate, just…he was a very mature little boy. So was Ritsu, though he did wish that Ritsu was better about putting his clothes in the actual hamper. Still, though, it was a good match and he was happy for Ritsu. He really was.
"Ichi, don't be ridiculous. He's obviously a very short twenty five year old." Said Hana with a smile.
"Well then we really should look out for Ritsu." Said Ichimaro, mirroring Hana's smile back at her.
"No, we both know he's got some kind of Benjamin Button thing going on." Said Hana
"Kids. I'd say that they were growing up too fast but Ritsu….well sometimes I feel like he was born old…or at least more adultlike than the other kids." Said Ichimaro
"You're right to feel that way. I have no idea with that boy. I was cleaning his room the other day and you won't believe what I found." Said Hana. Ichimaro shook his head.
"Hana, he's twelve. We've been over this. it's normal for him to-" said Ichimaro. This was why a boy needed his father. Mothers….they tended to overreact to things…though Ritsu was still so young…but he was getting to that age. Ichimaro wasn't living in La-La Land, he knew fully well why Ritsu was always trying to close his bedroom door…and yes, neither he nor Hana were ready for this, but it wasn't like Ritsu was going to wait until his parents were ready for him to grow up. He was going to grow up whether they liked it or not. All the could do was make sure he grew up well…and that they didn't accidentally give him any weird complexes, either.
"Oh no, nothing like THAT. Ritsu's a good boy, you know that. I found our old relationship books on his desk. You remember. The ones we bought when we were having…trouble." Said Hana with a shake of her head. Ichimaro could be so ridiculous sometimes. Ritsu wasn't that sort of boy. He was…he was getting older, of course, but he wasn't getting into all of that.
"Yeah, I remember. But what does Ritsu need them for? He's not even twelve yet. What trouble could he and Teru possibly be having?" asked Ichimaro. They had been fighting over the holidasy but things were good between them now. He could hear them with his own two ears. Talking, laughing, playing videogames….they were carrying on like they always had. Things were good between the two of them and if they weren't well then….well they could afford a shovel and a rental car…and Mom had plenty of land out in the countryside….and he doubted that Teru's parents would have missed him or even noticed that he was gone.
"No idea, he won't talk to me…but he seems to have gotten more out of those books than we ever did. I mean just listen to them. Aside from whatever happened over the holidays they're like two peas in a pod." Said Hana
"Yeah….I can hear the bells already." Said Ichimaro with a laugh that didn't meet his eyes. Hana's frown, now that met her eyes…and he didn't blame her. He needed to learn how to think before he spoke.
"Oh stop that, Ichi, he's still so young…and there probably won't be any bells. Not in his lifetime, anyway, with how slowly the world changes." Said Hana. She had never given it much thought, before, what those sort of people got up to. She had never met any. She had nothing against them, never had, it just hadn't been relevant to her life. Well now…now that Ritsu was…who he was….it wasn't fair. She could see how unfair it was. Ritsu loved Teru and Teru loved him, more so than most people their age, and if they were working this hard to make it work then it looked like they might have been it in for the long haul. It wasn't fair, Ritsu not being able to know all the happiness that he could have known if he had been….like everyone else. It just wasn't fair. She voted more liberally now, and more often than she had before, but she didn't know if she was going to have any effect. The world changed so slowly. Sometimes it felt like she was just waiting on the world to come to it's senses….it wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
"I know…but we can at least hope. Ritsu deserves all the happiness in the world and…you know what? I'm glad that he's got someone. I'm still not a fan of how he's always trying to close his door, and how those two disappear together for hours sometimes, and the way the neighbors talk…but I'm glad that he found someone who makes him happy. Someone who he wants to make it all…work, with. That's more than most kids his age would have even been thinking of let alone doing." Said Ichimaro. Ritsu was a good kid. He was happy and…and that was what mattered. It was hard, sometimes, thinking of all the things his son would miss out on. Marriage, the birth of his own son, being able to walk down the street without people shouting abuse at him….people were relentless. Ritsu was going to have to live with this sort of thing for his entire life. It wasn't fair. Ichimaro would have preferred…well what he would have preferred didn't matter. Ritsu was who he was, there was no changing that.
"I'm happy for him to. I just think, sometimes, I mean I wonder…I wonder about Shigeko. How she's doing. If she has a boyfriend yet. If she has friends…if those people are being good to her…." said Hana. She couldn't finish. She put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. She just….she needed a moment. Just a moment. She felt a hand on her shoulder.
"Hana…we know…we know that she's happy, that's what matters. We know that the people who…who have her now…we know that they know how to take care of her. They know how to manage her…her condition. The agency said so and legally they can't lie about that. She has a family, now, she has people who can understand her better than we ever could and…and I know that she's happy." Said Ichimaro as he rubbed her shoulder. It was…they knew that she was happy. He'd seen the papers. She had been adopted quickly by a family, a good one. She was happy…..really.
"I know…I hope that she's happy too…and I…sometimes I question if we did the right thing. If we're doing the right thing….if we're even doing right by Ritsu. I mean we can't even afford to send him to school. Not unless we drain his university fund." Said Hana
"Well he is, technically, a genius. There has to be some university out there with a big enough scholarship to-" said Ichimaro. If it came down to it then they could just drain his university fund…and it was getting to it.
"Bite your tongue! We are NOT doing that! We…we have to find a way….and if not then we'll just have to break it to him that he has to go to Salt. It won't be so hard on him. Tsubomi will be there and he can still see Teru after school and on weekends." Said Hana
"Yeah…it won't be so bad on him." said Ichimaro. So this was what it came to, putting a price on his son's education. His son's happiness…well it wouldn't have been the first time that they'd had to make a difficult choice. That was life, wasn't it? Just a series of tough choices that needed to be made. Budgets to balance…needs to weigh. They didn't have the money and they wouldn't have it unless they were prepared to go without…and Ritsu wasn't going to go without. Ever. He had already messed up with one kid, he wasn't going to make any more mistakes. Shigeko…she may have been gone but he still had Ritsu….
And he had to do right by his son.