Breakfast, supposedly, the most important meal of the day.
It was certainly the most delicious meal of the day. Eggs with ketchup, bacon on toast with plenty of butter, nato, green salad….breakfast was truly the best, most delicious, and most balanced meal of the day. It was the best….and mad even better by the person who cooked it. Shigeko really was a wonderful cook.
Not that he would tell her that.
He had told her that already, before, many times over the years. Every time she had made him breakfast. What must have been hundreds or even thousands of breakfasts over the years. She knew that he thought she was a good cook and their was no need to voice it. Just as there was no need to voice his opinion that her hair looked a lot nicer that way, black again, and how he never wanted her to color it again. She was living her own life, now, and he was living his. She had no say in his life and he had no says in hers.
His other children, on the other hand.
"Yes?" asked Suzuki as he made eye contact with Sho. That had been Sho's goal, correct? He had been staring at Suzuki since the meal had begun. It was a rare thing, eating with his son, and even rarer to eat with all three of his children. Normally Shigeko would have been in bed when he got up, and Mukai usually took her meals with her mother. This should have been enjoyable, Mukai was there, but of course Sho had been doing his absolute best to ruin it…
But that was what he was good at.
"What?" asked Sho. He glared at Dad, that was all that he could do. Who did Dad think he was sitting down here at the table with everyone like-like-like people wanted him there! Nobody liked him…nobody but Mukai…but she didn't get a vote because she was too little.
"You were staring at me. I assume that you've been trying to get my attention. You have it. What do you want?" asked Suzuki
"I don't want anything from you." Said Sho. He looked away from Dad and then down at his plate. Big Sis had put way too much there, eggs and bacon and salad and nato. He wanted poptarts but there weren't any, Mukai had the last ones. That was why she had come over, because her mom didn't keep them in the house and she wouldn't let Shibata make them for her from scratch. That was the only reason Mukai was here. It had nothing to do with the fact that she loved Dad.
Even if she did then…then Sho still had no right to feel like this.
Like Mukai was betraying him or something. She wasn't. She was just a little kid and she didn't know how bad things could be, yet, with Dad. Sho had been the same way when he had been three. He could sort of remember being really little and begging Mom to make Dad come home faster. He remembered being really little and trying to climb into Dad's lap so he could read to him or trying to get Dad to play with him or lift him with his powers…and Dad had been hitting him back then. He could only imagine how much Mukai loved Dad…
It was nothing against him. She was just a little kid and little kids were kind of dumb sometimes.
"Sho doesn't want anything. Nothing!" said Mukai. She pointed at Sho just so that everyone knew. There. Now they knew and she could get back to her breakfast. She held her poptart close. Sho might have changed his mind and wanted her poptarts…but they were hers!
"Mukai, you're getting crumbs everywhere." Said Mob as she reached over with her powers and dusted Mukai off. She shouldn't have gotten up this early. Usually she got up before Dad but Sho had already been up…and she knew that she was supposed to stay away from Sho…but it had been a long time since they'd had breakfast together…
A long time, too, since they'd had breakfast with Dad.
He hadn't said a word to her. Not even 'good morning'. No, he had just sat down at the table and waited for his breakfast. He didn't even thank her or…or anything. Sho hadn't either but at least Sho had a good reason to be mad at her. Like Fukuda had said, she had caused him a lot of pain and he was better off without her. She didn't care if Sho thanked her or anything, she just wanted to be near him….but she didn't want to be near Dad, so the least he could have done was thanked her…
But of course he wouldn't. He was Dad.
"M poptart, mine." Said Mukai as she held it to her chest even tighter.
"Just let her have it." Said Sho
"But she's getting crumbs everywhere." Said Mob. Crumbs were how you got mice and Dad was afraid of mice. She didn't want…she knew that she shouldn't have cared at all what Dad felt, like Shimazaki had said, but she didn't want him be scared in his own home.
"They're your sister's crumbs and she can do whatever she wants with them." Said Suzuki. Shigeko had some authority here…but Mukai was happy. She as happy and a few crumbs didn't matter, it wasn't as though Shigeko wasn't perfectly capable of cleaning them up.
"I can do whatever I want! Whatever I want!" said Mukai. She stood up on her chair and clapped…but then her poptart fell down….but it was ok! Shigeko caught it with her colors. She was a good friend, she let Mukai play games on her phone and put colors on her face. Also she knew all the words to Tangled and it was a lot of words. Mukai handed her some of the poptart, the part where she bit from.
Shigeko took it…but she didn't eat it!
"That! That's for you! Eat now please and thank you!" said Mukai. Shigeko held the poptart in her hands and just looked at it, like she had forgotten how to eat! Sometimes people forgot things, like how Mukai forgot where she put the yellow ham-ham, but you couldn't forget how to eat! How did you have snack time, then?
"But…it's been in your mouth…" said Mob. She wasn't a baby bird and she didn't need to be fed like one. This didn't just have a little bit of her spit on it….she licked all the frosting off of the outside. Mukai….was her sister and she loved her….but maybe there were limits to love.
"She doesn't care about that, she's not going to leave you alone until you eat it." Said Sho. Big Sis was being weird. They were all siblings, it didn't matter if they got each other's germs. That was why it was to drink milk right from the carton. She needed to get to eating before Mukai got sad, that wouldn't be good for anybody.
"But…." Said Mob
"Don't eat it, it's disgusting." Said Suzuki. He hadn't been thinking. Not about how things were between him and Shigeko, not about how she had nearly destroyed his entire future, and not about how he had no idea if he should have forgave her or not. The only thing he could think of was how truly disgusting this entire exchange was. He would never understand his children for as long as he lived.
"I won't. Sorry." said Mob as she put the piece of poptart down. She almost wanted to thank Dad…almost. He still hadn't thanked her for breakfast or…or anything. He used to always thank her before…but before was over now. Things were different, worse, and she was just going to have to get used to it….
"Come on, you have to. It's like…like a present. Yeah, like if Little Sis gave you a chewed up poptart for your birthday and-" said Sho
"Please don't get me chewed up poptarts for my birthday, I don't want anything for my birthday…but especially not that." Said Mob
"More for you?" asked Mukai
"What do you mean you don't want a present? It's your birthday, presents are kind of the point." Said Sho
"I thought that the point was coming together with our friends and family." Said Mob
"I won't be attending your birthday party this year." Said Suzuki quickly. It was nothing against Shigeko…she needed to get that look off of her aura right now. He had work to do, real work. He had a timetable to, once again, move up. Shigeko knew why. He had never come to any of their birthdays, only Mukai's, and he didn't have any intention of going to one of his oldest children's parties.
"You never come to our birthdays." Said Sho
"I came to Mukai's, it sets a new precedent." Said Suzuki.
"New presents?" asked Mukai hopefully. She loved presents! She wanted…she wanted so many things…new presents were coming!
"For Big Sis, not you." Said Sho. That came out meaner than he had wanted it to…but really, it wasn't her birthday and…well he could throw her another birthday party if she really wanted one.
"I really don't want any presents." Said Mob. She had enough stuff and if she wanted more stuff then she could have gotten it. She could have made every day a shopping day if she had wanted to…she didn't want her birthday to be special. She just wanted it to be another day…..
"Why the hell not?" asked Sho. He felt Dad's aura on his. He didn't give a fuck. Big Sis was talking crazy…who in the hell wanted a birthday without presents…and especially after he'd already gotten her birthday present mostly done with?! She couldn't have said anything sooner, could she have?
"Because I just…I don't really feel like celebrating with everyone this year. I just don't want to get any older, I guess…" said Mob softly. Why would she have wanted to get older? She would just be the same…but maybe worse. Her birthday might have been cursed. When she had turned ten Dad had given her Mukai and then taken her away. When she had been eleven…well that had been ok…but twelve had been terrible…she didn't even know what thirteen would bring….
"Why don't you want to get any older? Getting older is great." Said Sho
"I'm three, I'm older!" said Mukai. She held up three fingers and showed everyone. She used to be two and now she was three and then next year she would be…she would be three!
"You'll change your mind, one day, just as your sister has." Said Suzuki. Shigeko…was very young. He had been older than her, eighteen, when birthdays had stopped having any meaning. There was a sort of…melancholy? He didn't know, he had never been good at identifying these emotions…his own emotions…..
"No I won't…" muttered Sho. There was no way that he was ever going to regret getting older. Why would he have wanted to be a kid forever? Why would he have wanted to be weak forever. Every single year he got older he got stronger, too, and if he got stronger…when he got strong enough then he could have taken Dad in a fight…the fight that he knew was coming….the fight that he knew he was going to win.
"I changed my mind!" said Mukai. She could change her mind…she'd changed it to-to-to…she couldn't remember…..
"Oh?" asked Suzuki. He hadn't thought that Mukai was capable of such deep thought. He had no idea if he had been at her age, he had very few clear memories from that time. Of course she would have been intelligent enough to change her mind, she was his daughter after all.
"What did you change your mind too?" asked Mob. She hadn't even known that Mukai could change her mind about things…she was so smart. She was smarter than any baby would have been. She didn't know why Dad wanted another baby when he had Mukai. She was like a baby but smart and…and Mob didn't get a say in whether or not she was getting another brother or sister.
"Give it back!" said Mukai. She had to think…what had she wanted…poptarts…and if Shigeko wasn't going to eat it then she wanted it back! Food was for eating, Mama said so!
"Here, you can have it." Said Mob as she passed the piece of poptart back to Mukai. Mukai grabbed her hand and kissed it…with a lot of spit….gross….
"Thank you very much!" said Mukai as she kissed Shigeko a bunch of times so she'd know that Mukai loved her.
"You're welcome." Said Mob as she pulled her hand back. She wiped it on her shirt…and now she needed to change…great….
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's welcome…now what were you saying about not wanting presents? I mean what are we supposed to do at your party then?" asked Sho. They couldn't just…just start skipping birthdays like this. His birthday could have been next….
"I don't want one of those either." Said Mob with a shake of her head. She didn't want to have to look at a giant stack of thirteen pancakes and just…think about being thirteen. She didn't know what it would be like, being thirteen, but she knew that twelve hadn't been good and that thirteen was unlucky and…and she….they could all have pancakes without her. They could have all the pancakes in the world. You could eat them every single day of the year, not just on birthdays.
"Why? Because Dad can't come?" asked Sho sarcastically. No matter what Dad did Big Sis would always love him. She was always going to be on his side…even after Sho'd given her a way out…even after she'd seen how bad Dad could be…she still went right back to him…..
"No, I don't really care if Dad's here or not. I just don't want a party, ok?" asked Mob with a groan. She held her head in her hands and looked down. She didn't want everyone to sit in a room and eat pancakes and talk about how much older she was. She didn't even wanted to get older and…and she didn't want people to talk about it either!
"But…" said Sho. No…they always had a party for her. They couldn't just stop having parties and…and he'd already drawn her a picture and…ok, she had been kind of a jerk lately but that didn't mean that they were just going to skip her birthday!
"Dad can't come! Dad can't come!" said Mukai. She pointed to Caterpillars. That was also his name, 'Dad'. Sometimes people had more than one name. Like how Mama was also called Tsuchiya and Shigeko was also called Mob and Shibata was also called Hiroshi. She only had one name, though, Mukai. Because she was the only Mukai.
"Yeah, Dad can't come because he's too busy with his girlfriend." Said Sho. He glared at Dad while he said that. Dad just stared at him. What? Was he going to deny it? Well too bad. Mukai deserved to know that Dad was planning on replacing her.
"Sho!" said Mob. She reached out, ready to put up a barrier if she needed to. Dad hated it when people got into his business…he'd been perfectly clear about that. She didn't care what he did to her but if he hurt Sho…well she didn't want to fight him but she wouldn't have had a choice.
"Girlfriend? New friend!" said Mukai. A new friend who was a girl? That would have been the best thing in the whole world!
"No, she's not a new friend. She's a-" said Sho. She was a bitch. Sho had never met this lady but he knew that she must have been a bitch. Most stepmoms were, he had seen enough of Big Sis's movies to know. What kind of a girl would have actually wanted to be with Dad? Mom had been a good person…she had left…but it made sense. No good person would ever have wanted to be married to Dad.
"SHE is none of your concern. Not yours, not your older sister's, and not your younger sister's either. My life is my business just as your life is yours. I don't talk about your girlfriend-" said Suzuki. Not another one. Sho…why did Sho even care? Suzuki had washed his hands of Sho years ago. He would have thought that Sho had done the same. Why were both of his children so nosy? How did this even happen….didn't these two have their own lives? Couldn't they have just snooped into each other's lives instead of his?
"I don't have a girlfriend anymore." Said Sho. Big Sis gasped. He didn't care. Dad didn't get a say in who he loved or married and…and Sho was going to take him down soon anyway and…and he didn't care that the only time Dad had ever cared about him was when he thought that Sho had been about to get married to a girl! Well fuck him then!
"Right, I apologize. Your fiancée-" said Suzuki
"She's not that anymore either." Said Sho
"Sho…come on…" said Mob. She shook her head. No. Sho knew that she was telling him to stop…but he was still going….he knew what Dad was like but he was still picking fights with him. Why? She knew that she was supposed to leave him alone then, that more she spoke to him the more likely it would be for Fukuda to tell on her….but this was more important. She didn't care if she got in trouble if it meant that Sho was safe….
Besides, Dad already hated the person she'd become who what did it matter if he knew? Well…for her, anyway…..
"You…could not have possibly married her. There isn't any church or court in the world that would marry two twelve-year-old children." Said Suzuki. There wasn't…he would have noticed if his son had gotten married….if he had come off of this idea that he was a homosexual. He was, at worst, bisexual and Suzuki had nobody to blame for that but himself for that.
"We broke up." Said Sho. He waited for Dad to hit him…he didn't. He just stared….well Sho could do more than stare, he could glare. He glared at did with everything he had. He didn't break it when Big Sis tried to distract him, or when Mukai threw a poptart into his hair. If Dad wanted to hit him then, fine, Sho could take it. He'd had the worst thing that Dad could throw at him, all the worst things, and he could take this.
"….what did you say?" asked Suzuki after a moment. Maybe he was losing his hearing, his vision was starting to go so it would have made sense that his hearing went next…or maybe he was losing his mind or…he didn't know…anything but what he'd just heard.
"Dad-" said Mob. No, no, no. There was no way…they were not going to talk about this! They were not…ok, ok, she could set this right. She just had to…to figure it out….right now!
"Sho broke up! Sho broke up, Caterpillars!" said Mukai. Everyone was just looking at each other. They must not have known what was going on, sometimes you had to remind grownups of what was happening.
"Yeah, me and Emmy broke up. Come on, yell at me. Tell me that I fucked up and that I'm not allowed to break up with Emmy or live my own life at all." said Sho
"I…would not say anything like that to you. I know what it feels like to have a woman…to have a woman leave you and…and while you may be tempted to find her and build some sort of domelike structure to imprison her in…I must advise against it. Clearly this girl does not want to be with you and you don't need to waste your life on someone who doesn't want to be with you." Said Suzuki
"I don't want to go back to her, I'm the one that broke us up." Said Sho
"Sho, don't-" said Mob. She reached out to cover his mouth but he just pushed her back down onto her chair with his powers. Her plate flipped over into her lap…great….but that was the least of her problems.
"Why would you do something like that?" asked Suzuki. That…was insane. If a woman would have you, any woman, then you…you took what you could get. It was incredibly difficult to get a woman's attention let alone to keep it. Sho….he was a child…and he didn't know what he was doing. Suzuki didn't NEED Sho anymore, not if Shiori had been serious about having another child with him, but…it was nice to have an heir and a spare and Sho…well his children could be the spares.
"Because I'm gay, Dad, you know that I'm gay." Said Sho
"Does anyone want-" said Mob as she held up the nato…of course nobody wanted nato…she hadn't been thinking. She needed to think, to find a way out of this, to save Sho from…well from what he was bringing upon himself.
"Sho's gay! Over there!" said Mukai. She pointed to Sho just so that everyone knew the truth. She didn't know what 'gay' meant but that was what Sho was and he was gay right over there.
"He is not. You…you are not. At worst you're bisexual and that wouldn't be your fault, it would be mi-it would be acceptable." Said Suzuki. Well that had been close. The children didn't need to know that little detail, it was personal, though maybe if he told Sho then he would realize that there was no way that he was a homosexual. Suzuki didn't fully blame him for being confused, Suzuki himself had assumed for the past thirty three years that he was heterosexual…sexuality was very confusing.
"I only like guys." Said Sho crossing his arms. He knew who he was and he knew who he loved and he could love whoever he wanted to love. It wouldn't matter, what Dad thought, when all of this was over….but Sho didn't want to wait that long.
"Not possible." Said Suzuki
"I'm thinking about having a ba-" said Mob
"I'm gay, Dad, get it through your head! Sometimes people are gay and I'm one of them and you can't me like into someone I'm not and-and-and fuck you!" said Sho. He got up, kicked the table, and went to his room. What else could he do? Dad wouldn't get it through his head…it wouldn't matter, once he took Dad down, but….but that was too far into the future and…and he needed to finish Big Sis's birthday present whether she wanted it or not!
"How dare-get back here!" said Suzuki as Sho left. He reached out with his powers but Shigeko slapped him away. Her aura slapped his…he needed to stay calm. Mukai was right there and it would do her no good to see her father in that state. It did her no good to see her sister in that state, either, but Shigeko…well she had become a very selfish person over the years.
"Get back here! Get back here, Sho!" shouted Mukai as Sho ran away. She tried to get down to catch him but Shigeko held her onto her chair…meanie!
"Mukai…do you want to go play or…or something?" asked Mob as Mukai tried to squirm away.
"Go play! Let's go play!" said Mukai. She stopped struggling and Shigeko let her go. She ran away while she could, before Shigeko changed her mind.
"Bye Dad. We're…we're going to go play….so you can just put your plate in the sink when you're done." Said Mob. She didn't give Dad a chance to say anything. She didn't want to hear it. She had to think about her siblings and…and Dad only wanted to think about himself so…so she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to hear anything from him. Not even a 'thank you'.
"Alright then…goodbye….and happy birthday." Said Suzuki as his daughters left him alone…it shouldn't have mattered. He was here to eat breakfast so that was what he got bac to doing. He'd see Mukai again and Shigeko…well he didn't care where she went or what she did. She was her own person and he was his own person and…and if he really needed to see her then there would be other breakfasts.
Thousands of them.