Dallas, Texas

"I think it'll be great for the summer, he'll be able to spend all the time he wants with the children, it's when fall comes that worries me. I'll be at work, JR will be at work, the girls will be at school and he'll have nothing to do, just like things are now…"

Expressing his concerns about his daddy's planned retirement, Bobby stayed well away from critiquing the delight on JR's face as the announcement had been made earlier. He was out of Ewing Oil, it wasn't his company to take an interest in any longer, plus, Jenna liked JR a lot and he wanted to keep her on his side.

"He has plenty of friends and connections. What does Punk do all day? I couldn't tell you but he doesn't seem to hate retirement. Let's cross that bridge when we come to it."

Standing in front of him, her back to his chest, Jenna brushed her hair aside so he could unclasp her necklace for her, touching on the subject he'd raised and then changing the topic to something she clearly found a lot more interesting.

"On another note, did you notice that Sue Ellen didn't touch her fish tonight? She's been sick a few times too; I think she's pregnant again."

Listening to her, firstly he felt surprised, genuinely not having noticed what she had, but secondly and more importantly, he felt aggrieved. He couldn't understand how she could be so excited about potentially becoming an aunt when she seemed so determined to stay well away from becoming a mother again.

"Lucky JR."

"What was that?" Noticing his tone immediately, she turned around, her necklace pulling, marking her skin.

Letting go of the necklace, he attempted to avoid conflict, answering, "nothing," although Jenna wasn't so easily dissuaded.

"No, it wasn't nothing."

"Fine, I find it difficult to accept that you're so against giving me the same gift Sue Ellen might be giving JR."

As she seemed determined to discuss it, he gave her his thoughts, reiterating that he thought her position was unfair. If it had been a mutual decision not to start a family just yet he could have accepted that, he had with Pam, but as Jenna hadn't given him a choice in the matter he wasn't so quick to accept it. They were married, their decisions weren't supposed to be ones that benefited them only as individuals any longer.

"JR and Sue Ellen are different to us, they both want another child."

Speaking with the knowledge of a friend and sister-in-law, Jenna's comment hurt. He hadn't recently discussed it with JR, but Jenna had obviously heard it directly from Sue Ellen, she and JR were on the same page, they wanted a bigger family and they were working on making one.

"And you don't, therefore my feelings don't matter at all."

"Bobby, we've been through this."

"Not recently, you refuse to talk about it!"

Raising his voice, initially he felt ashamed, he didn't like to shout at his wife, but he felt strongly and it needed to be said.

"I'm not ready!"

Raising her voice back at him, Jenna didn't back down at the first sign of an argument about to ensue.

"Why not?"

"I've told you before, pregnancy wasn't easy or frankly very enjoyable for me the first time around and I'm in no hurry to repeat that experience."

Reminding him that she'd already had a baby, she didn't acknowledge that her circumstances then had likely contributed to how she'd felt or that a repeat experience would be better. She was married to him, not Naldo, and for the most part they were happy as opposed to fractious, she was back home, not in a foreign country, and she had the very best of everything at her fingertips, she didn't have to worry about a thing. All she needed to do was allow him to take care of her, which shouldn't have been hard since she was happy to do that in every other part of their lives together.

"That's just an excuse; your entire life is different now."

"It is, but I'm still me. I'm still the one who will end up bearing the brunt of the experience. You can have all the best intentions but you can't do it for me."

Hearing what she was saying, he didn't necessarily agree with her. He'd cared deeply for Pam, encouraging her to do far less with her time and energy than she'd ended up doing and he was happy for Jenna to live the same way. Other than being a wife and mother Jenna had little that she had to do with her days. She could choose to lie in bed for hours if pregnancy made her tired, they had plenty of family around to take care of Charlie, and although she was right, he couldn't take the experience off her hands when it became too much for her, he could do a lot in order to stop it escalating to that point.

"You make it sound like you're going to go through it alone again, but you wouldn't be."

Shaking her head, Jenna didn't look convinced. Clearly, her mind was set. He'd married two ladies who had unmovable thoughts, unfortunately about the same subject, one he very much wished was something he didn't care so much about.

"Do you think you'll ever be ready?"

Hopeful, wanting to be a father more than anything, especially now that he was a husband again, he waited for her answer.

"Probably, one day, but, not today, not tomorrow, and not for the next few months."

"I can't say I'm not disappointed."

"There's no hurry."

Insisting that it was something that could wait, she had a point, however he'd rarely been good at waiting. He'd wanted to marry Pam and he'd married her quickly, he'd wanted to marry Jenna and he'd married her quickly, he'd decided he wanted to own his own business and he'd made the idea a reality soon after; he usually decided he wanted something and got it, except this.

"We've been married a few months now; I just expected you might feel like there was a natural next step to take."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I don't. We have Charlie and she adores you, can't you just focus on that for now?"

It was true, they did have Charlie, she was their daughter and he loved and treated her as such, but she didn't have to be their one and only. He'd grown up with siblings, Jenna had grown up around his family and John Ross was likely going to have a sibling soon, it wasn't unheard of to want a larger family.

"I'll always have time for Charlie."

"Allow me some time and you might get what you want."

Her request wasn't too much really, he had little choice in the matter, but still, the unknown element bothered him.

"How long is some time?"

"I don't know, but it gets longer each time you push me!"

Snapping at him, she walked away, heading into the bathroom to unclasp her necklace in the mirror herself.

"Are you that spiteful?"

"Are you that selfish?"

Following her into the bathroom, he couldn't believe what he was hearing. He catered to her every want and need and all he asked for was one moment of selflessness in return, something that was apparently too much for her to handle.

"Me? Selfish?"

"Yes."

Looking him in the eye, Jenna didn't appear at all sorry for what she said. She truly felt he was being selfish asking for even a fraction of what he gave.

"Pot, kettle, black."

Glaring at him, not liking what she heard, she shook her head and walked back into the bedroom, her necklace still hanging around her neck.

"Jenna."

Aware that sometimes silence was worse than raised voices, he attempted to engage her again, changing his tone to indicate he was a little apologetic, not that that seemed to matter to her, because as soon as he spoke, she turned around and launched into a speech he hadn't been expecting.

"No! You might think I'm being a hypocrite but I don't think I am at all. I never promised you anything but love. When you asked me to marry you it wasn't under the condition that we have children together, in fact it wasn't under any special conditions, we married because we loved each other and wanted it to be made official. I love you and I am not against the idea of having more children, but not like this, not while it's a one-sided aspiration. I understand that you feel you were prepared to be a father to Will and that opportunity was cruelly taken away from you, but that isn't something our marriage is going to change. I'm not a replacement for Pam and our baby won't be a replacement for Will, you need to move past that thinking before we're ready for anything."

Making a huge assumption about his feelings, she initially left him speechless. Was she right? Was he trying to replicate what he'd had with Pam with her? He didn't think so, but she seemed to.

"When did I say that that's how I thought of you?"

"You didn't but it's obvious. I don't think you want me to be Pam, but I do feel you constantly think about what might have been and you're desperate to get back to a place where you can pretend."

Explaining herself a little better, this time she potentially had a point. He had felt happy and ready when Pam had told him she was expecting, and he'd not lost hope for their future even when hardships had come their way constantly throughout the following months. The loss of Pam and Will had almost destroyed him and he hadn't felt truly happy until he'd married again. Perhaps Jenna could see something he couldn't, perhaps she was better at reading his subconscious than he was.

"I…"

"Bobby, I love you, and I will always be honest with you, you know that. Our relationship spans years altogether, but this time around it's been just over three and a half months, that's soon for anything and all I'm asking is that you slow down a little and let us breathe, enjoy our relationship, enjoy Southworth Stables, enjoy the summer. We have our entire lives ahead of us and they could be long healthy ones, they should be long healthy ones. Pam was unlucky, but that doesn't mean we need to be living as if our last day is around the corner."

Making several good points, he wasn't sure he wanted to accept her perspective as reality just yet.

"You sure are honest."

"I am."

Touching her hand to his forearm, she held eye contact with him, her gaze steady.

There was so much for them to say and suddenly he had no idea where to begin.

To be continued…