Hikigaya Hachiman Becomes an Athlete

Ch. 1: Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Soubu High has a lot of rules and customs. Everyone knows that the ladies wear red ribbons and the men wear ties (except for me because that's a shitty rule that only a corporate slave would follow). Not everyone knows that to get a college recommendation, a student must join a sport for at least one season to solidify their appearance as a "well-rounded student who can contribute to society in a multitude of ways," whatever that means.

That's why I was emptying the list of unused profanities in my lexicon at rapid-fire pace as Hiratsuka-Sensei explained this in the faculty office. Thankfully, most of the teachers had a different lunch break and thus were not around to hear the colorful outburst that certainly should have gotten me sent home for a few days.

"Hikigaya, it's simple. Join a sport and get the recommendation. It comes with a full-tuition scholarship, which I know you need. You're always going on about how mature and adult-like you are in those drab essays you turn in, so be an adult and accept the truth."

"Isn't part of being an adult getting married? You're about as much of an adult as I a- OOF"

"I'm not married because I choose not to be, thank you very much. Anyways, don't change the subject. I suspended the Service Club's activities until the end of this season so you could focus on this. Even Yukinoshita joined a sport when I asked her to!"

"I doubt that."

"She's actually part of the Tennis club. I remember her saving your ass last year when you were practicing with Totsuka."

How does she even know about that?

"Anyways, I suck at any sport that needs hand-eye coordination like that, and I don't have the physical strength to wrestle or engage in any form of martial arts. How am I supposed to find a team to join?"

"That's up to you to find out. Now go, my ramen is getting cold, and I have to finish this episode of Hunter x Hunter before fourth period starts."

The door slid shut behind me as I mulled over her words. I was screwed, plain and simple. There were only so many sports clubs at Soubu, and frankly, I didn't want to be in any of them. Well, tennis would have been a good way to stare at Totsuka's adorable face for two hours a day, but Yukinoshita threw a wrench in that when she decided to join. I can already imagine her scathing insults mocking the shit out of me every time I missed a return. While the bell was already signaling the start of fourth period, math was quite possibly the last thing on my mind.

As the final bell rang, I lifted my head out of it's warm refuge in my arms only to see Yui Yuigahama's concerned face way too close for comfort.

"Hikki! Why weren't you paying attention the lesson? Usually you're listening or at least giving Hayama-kun a menacing glare or something, but today you just looked like you wanted to sleep. Were you up late looking at ecchi websites or something?"

Good one. Your Yuis are giving me enough to think about for a week with the way you're leaning over directly in front of me right now.

"Nah, I was just bored. By the way, Hiratsuka-sensei suspended our activities until the end of the sports season, so don't bother coming to the club room today."

"Mou, why?"

"Hell if I know. Ask Yukinoshita about it. Anyways, I have a date to catch with Switch-chan, so if you would excuse me…"

I stood up and slid out of class. I was walking so fast, I almost missed the whisper coming out of her mouth as the door closed behind me.

"What kind of idiot would go home to play games when I'm right here?"

Eh, whatever. I'm going to ignore the reluctant blush on my face and shove that to the side. Honestly, after the debacle that was our "friends date," I thought things would never be the same between us three, but they settled down to a comfortable pace over the following summer. Now that her and Yukinoshita's feelings were out in the open, a lot of the tension between us was resolved. Of course, both wanted an answer from me, but I could outwait them. Once they see that my heart is just as rotten as my eyes and get over their childish fantasies, they'll go back to ignoring me like everyone else has up until this year.

As this word-vomit was coming out of my psyche, I had already found my way to the bike rack and was cycling home, passing through the recreational fields on the way.

More important than Yuigahama's remark was the issue of which sport I was going to join. I wonder how hard it would be for me to fool Hiratsuka-sensei into thinking I was part of any random team. Nah, she would come to our games to ensure my participation. Single women have that kind of free time. What about making up a new team and just not playing any games? I can't think of a sport I like enough to do that, but I could certainly do some research tonight and get a proposal written up by the end of the we-

Ow.

"Sorry, Hikigaya!"

I turned around to see a soccer ball on the floor and Soubu's resident Gary Stu staring at me. Ah, I've been blessed with Hayama's presence. Blessed is probably not the right word to describe how I feel about this situation, but it's a bit more PG than some of the alternatives floating around my mind right now.

"You should probably kick the kid who missed that badly off the team. Unless he was aiming for me. It wouldn't be the first time."

"Actually, I took that shot. Sorry, I couldn't get your attention when I called your name. Do you have a minute?"

"Don't you have practice right now? And anyways, I don't have time to help with any of the problems you have with your pretend friend group."

"No need to be so hostile, Hikigaya. I was thinking we could make a deal."

"What could you possibly need from me, golden boy?"

"Don't call me that. Anyways, to get a recommendation to Tokyo Uni, I need to be in a club and play a sport. I'm sure you want a recommendation to a school too, which means we're in the same hole. I know you're in the Service club, and I'm on the soccer team. Do you see where I'm going with this?"

"I do, but I don't want to."

"Make me a Service club member. I don't have to do anything, just let me be part of it, and if anyone asks, back me up. In exchange, I'll give you a spot on the soccer team. I'm captain, so I'll make sure nobody gives you shit for it either."

"Kiss my ass."

I said that, but the gears were turning at full speed in my head. This could be the break I needed, although the irony of this situation wasn't lost on me. It would be unbelievably funny if Hayama ends up being the reason I get a scholarship to Chiba U.

"At this point, I may consider it if it means you'll shake with me on this." Although he said it in an even tone, there was nothing but pure contempt on his face. I could tell it was demoralizing to him too, the King of SoubuTM getting help from a lowly scrub in the social hierarchy.

After a few seconds of mulling over his offer, I decided to take him up on it. To tell the truth, I knew my parents were working their asses off to give us the life that we had and knowing that they were going to have to put Komachi and I through college, I wanted to do anything I could to lessen that burden.

"Fine."

"Perfect. Be on the field tomorrow at 3:15. Wear shin-guards and cleats, and make sure you're dressed comfortably. We're going to be running quite a bit before drills. Let me know if the Service Club needs any help."

The idea of running more than the distance between my house and the Gamestop on the corner was making my face pale, but I needed to finish up the conversation before I realize what exactly I had gotten into.

"We suspended club activities. Yukinoshita needs time off for the same reason as us. You lucked out by thinking to ask me. I don't know why you'd do that but consider yourself saved."

"To be honest, I didn't want to look like someone who was cheating my way around the club membership requirement, but I don't mind if you know the truth, considering that your opinion of me is already on the damn floor."

"And rightfully so. Anyways, I'm going to head home. Think of a less painful way to get my attention next time."

With that farewell, I hopped on my bike and pedaled home.

AN: This is my first fanfiction, so don't hesitate to grill me if you think it's trash. I wanted to write something kind of unique for the fandom and work on my writing skills while I'm at it. Although the story uses the soccer club as the main plot device, it's not really the focus. It's mainly going to be about how Hachiman's involvement in the club affects his outside life. Other characters will make an appearance and there will (probably) be a slow-burn romance somewhere in here if you guys think this is an idea worth making into a full-length fic.