AN: Writing this one made me cry. I didn't have to imagine how Bella felt.

Heartfelt thanks to MeteorOnAMoonlessNight, Midnight Cougar and ghostreader24 for taking the time to make my words pretty.

More thanks to all of you who are reading, reviewing following or favoriting. I love to hear what you think

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight

Deceit and Destiny Chapter 9

As I stepped through into the bedroom, my phone was beeping and vibrating, telling me I had missed calls and texts. Picking it up, I scrolled through the list, seeing I'd missed one from Connor and two from Edward. Checking the texts, too, I could see it was Edward who had left them. I couldn't decide if I should read them or not because that might break my heart further.

Was that being fair to him? No, but what could I say? If he felt even half what I was feeling now, and I thought he might, then telling him about Jake and Connor would break his heart. Even in the few hours I'd known him, I knew he was an honorable man, and I suspected he would be horrified if he knew he'd been a party to cheating. If I ignored his calls, I hoped he'd put it down to a one-night stand. With tears never far away, I felt them welling again and sank onto the bed.

The note he'd left me on the nightstand caught my eye,and I picked it up, the words both warming me and increasing my feelings of guilt. When Edward and I made love this morning, there was no doubt in my mind that was what we'd done; I felt we'd made a deep connection. But I couldn't see how anything could ever come from it.

Thanks for a wonderful couple of days, Bella.

I haven't even left yet and I miss you already.

Call me when you wake.

Edward xxx

He'd even added kisses underneath the words. My phone continued to vibrate periodically, and in my peripheral vision, I could see the home screen light up, but I was afraid to pick it up. Eventually, I told myself to stop being a coward and slid it off the nightstand to check, blinking away the tears resting on my lower eyelashes.

In the time I'd been outside with Jess, I'd received eight texts, all from Edward, and three voicemails. One of the latter would be Connor, and I would have to call him back, but for the moment, I wasn't brave enough to listen to those left by Edward. I felt as if the sound of his voice would dissolve the small amount of control I had over my emotions.

Checking the time, I was surprised to find it was already past twelve-thirty. His plane would be in the air now, winging its way back to San Francisco. The hand around my heart contracted with every mile he traveled away from me. Leaving the voicemails for me to listen to later, I read through the texts, the first of which had come at around nine, while I was in the shower.

~ Morning sweetheart. How are you?

The second one was thirty minutes later.

~ I didn't want to leave you this morning, but I had to get back to my hotel and pack. Jess was in the lounge when I left and I spoke to her. She seemed to be fine when she saw me. She didn't give you a hard time, did she?

Then another fifteen minutes after that.

~ You must be still asleep. I'm thinking of you and I'll call you in a bit.

That call would be one of his voicemails, so I left it and continued to read. The next one came shortly after the voicemail. Each one of the texts added another fissure in my heart.

~ Bella, you're not answering your phone. Is everything okay, sweetheart?

The tone of the texts seemed to become increasingly worried, and I leaned back against the pillow, tears pricking at my eyes, cursing myself for being a coward. I wanted to speak to him more than anything, but the thought of prolonging the inevitable pain by doing so stopped me.

~ Sorry I haven't been able to speak to you yet but I have to leave for the airport in about fifteen minutes. Let me know how you are, please.

I tortured myself with each one I read, the next three coming in quick succession

~ We've arrived at the airport and I've checked my bags. Just have to wait for the flight to be called. I want to hear your voice so call me, please.

~ I don't know why you aren't answering my texts, but I'm boarding the plane shortly so my phone will be off for a couple of hours.

~ I'll call you when I land at around two this afternoon.

My throat ached with the effort of holding the tears inside. Finally, unable to bear it any longer, I placed the phone back on my nightstand, curling up on Edward's side of the bed where the pillow he'd laid his head on was still imbued with his scent. I was already mourning the fact that whatever was between us would never become more.

An indeterminate amount of time later, I heard the door open quietly, the bed dipping behind me. I wished with all my heart for it to be Edward, but that was impossible. His last text had been sent as he was boarding his flight.

Jess had always been there for me—through finding out I was pregnant with Connor, to telling my parents and marrying Jake. Now, she was here for me again. I felt her body against mine, her arm over me, bringing me as much comfort as she was able. Neither of us spoke for a while as sobs racked through me, not even trying to stem them while they soaked the pillow beneath my head.

"It'll be okay, Bella. You'll get through this, I know you will, and I'll be with you every step of the way," Jess whispered.

Unable to utter a word past the lump and ache in my throat, I nodded. In my head, I was berating myself for being so upset over a man I'd met less than two days ago, but something inside me knew my feelings were real. Somehow, I would have to learn how to move on, but at that moment, I had no idea how.

Finally, with my nose blocked and my eyes half-closed and puffy, I'd managed to push the tears back enough for me to thank Jess.

"I'm glad you're here. I don't think I would be able to get through this without you." Her answering hug told me that she would be there whenever she was needed. "I'm going to clean up and wash my face, okay? Then we should make an appearance, or Alice and Angela are going to come looking for us."

A short time later, I was about as put together as possible, but I felt raw and unsettled. I looked at myself in the mirror, clearly seeing the signs of the incessant tears of the last few hours. I'd washed my face in cool water, and covered them with a cold washcloth for ten minutes, which had significantly reduced their puffy, red appearance.

Carefully, adding a little make-up to hide most of the damage, I hoped Alice and Angela would attribute it to a late night and too much alcohol, and I resolved to wear sunglasses until they were more comfortable. Heaven knew it was something I wasn't used to, so it was a plausible reason for the state of my face.

Jess poked her head around the edge of the door as I was slipping my feet into flip-flops. "You ready, Bella?"

"As I'll ever be, Jess. Can you give me a minute to return Connor's call?"

She nodded, and I sat on the side of the bed, dialing my parents' home number.

"Hi, Bella. How's your vacation?"

"It's been great, Mom, though I've missed Connor. Is he there?"

"You just missed him, sweetheart. I think he's missing you, too, and just wanted to say good morning. He's gone out with your dad to get some bait. Do you want me to get him to call you back when they get home?"

"We're just off to the beach, so he can call me back anytime this afternoon. Will you tell him I love him and give him a big hug from me, please?"

"Of course, I will, Bella. Don't you worry about him; he'll be fine."

"I'll try not to, Mom." I laughed, already feeling more cheerful. "I'll speak to you soon. Love you."

"Love you, too. Bye."

After hanging up, I picked up my beach bag, making sure I had everything I needed, and followed her out into the lounge. Locking the suite door behind us, we made our way to the elevator and rode down together in silence, then stepped out into the sunshine. I winced and donned a pair of large sunglasses, slipping a hat on my head as Jess and I headed in the direction of the boardwalk.

Walking along the boardwalk reminded me of being with Edward, walking hand in hand, talking about anything and everything, carrying me when my feet hurt, taking care of me at the beach—memory after memory flashing through my mind. Jess looked over at me in sympathy as I slowed my steps and took my hand, squeezing it lightly in a show of solidarity.

"It'll be okay, Bella," she said quietly.

Her hand around mine gave me the strength not to give in to yet another round of tears, and I gave her a smile of thanks. I looked up, seeing Alice and Angela chatting at a table set close to the sand and situated under a large umbrella. The table was already littered with empty glasses, indicating they'd been there for a while. Fortunately, the bar was fairly casual and bikinis with cover-ups were acceptable attire.

"Bella! Jess! Over here!"

Alice stood and waved her hands. Jess lifted hers in greeting, but we continued our steady approach, giving me a little more time to get my emotions completely under control.

From the number of glasses on the table, it was clear they'd concentrated on alcohol while waiting for us before ordering lunch. Even though Alice was only five-foot something, she could truly drink twice her body weight and still be sober enough to walk in a straight line. She was a few years older than I was and had the bubbliest personality I'd ever known.

Alice had grown up in Seattle, where her parents still lived. She and Jasper had met in New York where they had both attended college, and when he'd been offered a job at Olympic Memorial Hospital, they'd decided small town life was something they both wanted.

They'd come to the agency initially to find a rental, but Alice had fallen in love with a house, and Jasper, of course, had bought it for her. From then on, she'd become a good friend and had fit in with our group of friends as if we'd grown up together.

Jess and I reached the table and took the two empty seats opposite them, while Alice called over a waiter.

"I'll have another of these, please." She held up her glass. "A mojito," she clarified. "Bella? Jess?"

"Alice, it's a bit early to be drinking, isn't it?"

She shrugged. "It's five o'clock somewhere, Bella, and besides, we're on vacation, so it's allowed. In fact, I think it might even be required."

"How about some sangria then?" I suggested. "Jess?"

"I'll have a strawberry margarita, please, and I'll help you drink the sangria, too."

I could feel myself relax as the sun warmed me through the material of the umbrella. The sea breeze washed over me, the scent of the ocean making me feel better immediately.

"I'll have sangria, too, please." Angela put her hand on my arm. "Hey, Bella. Are you feeling better?"

"I'm fine, Angela, thanks. Although, why the heck I'm contemplating drinking again after how much I put away last night, I have no idea." I managed a wry laugh. "This morning wasn't pretty."

"Another drink is the best idea, Bella," Alice piped up. The waiter returned with a jug of sangria, full of floating fruit along with everyone else's drinks.

"I'm going to need something to soak up the alcohol, Alice. Have you asked for a menu?"

"Not yet, Bella. I need to use the restroom, so I'll get one on the way back."

Angela chose to go with Alice, leaving Jess and I seated at the table.

"How are you doing, Bella?"

Before I could answer her, my phone rang. I pulled it out of my purse, seeing Edward's name flash across the screen, which meant his flight had now landed in San Francisco. I covered my mouth with my hand to hold in the small sob that erupted. I desperately wanted to answer it and hear his voice, but Jess stilled my hand.

"Don't look at it now, Bella. You'll upset yourself. Leave it until later unless you want Alice and Angela to give you the third degree."

I bit my lip hard, hoping that it was enough, and nodded in agreement, letting the call go to voicemail and slipping it back into my purse. At that moment, Alice returned to the table with some menus, followed by Angela.

"Who was that, Bella? Connor? Or the hottie from yesterday? Did you have a good night out with him?"

I allowed Alice to believe that it was a text. "Just Connor telling me he misses me. I'll call him back later. Come on, let me have a menu, Alice, I'm starving."

Alice was sufficiently distracted and didn't realize I hadn't said anything about Edward, and instead opened her menu. For once, I was grateful her attention could be diverted so easily. I perused the list of food on offer, and although I felt as if nothing would go down, I chose a chicken salad.

After we'd given the waiter our orders, silence fell around the table. I had no idea what everyone else was thinking, but I needed to get out of my head or I'd be breaking down again under the onslaught of my memories. They were far too close to the surface as it was.

"What did you girls do last night? Was the club as good as Friday?"

"It was just as great, Bella." Alice giggled. "We danced so much I thought my feet were going to fall off. Angela, here, attracted the attention of some geeky-looking guy and she couldn't get rid of him."

"Not funny, Alice. His breath smelled of fish and he kept trying to kiss me, even when I told him I was a happily married woman." Angela shuddered. "I had to hide in the restrooms to get away from him."

I sat back silently as they ribbed each other and chatted about the guys they'd flirted with. It was all harmless fun and I yearned to go back to a time when I'd be doing the same. I was grateful when Jess put her hand on my arm, bringing me back to the present to find that Alice and Angela were also quiet.

"What's up, Bella?" Angela asked. "Jess said you were out yesterday with Edward."

"Hmm, yeah. He rented a motorbike for the day and we took a ride along the coast. We spent the afternoon at Laguna Beach, swimming and lazing in the sun. I could live there, you know; it's gorgeous, and Connor would love the rock pools."

"You wouldn't leave Port Angeles, would you? We'd miss you so much."

"All my family's in PA, Alice. How could I leave them and you behind? My parents would miss having Connor and I'd miss Didi and Aro, too. It's just that sometimes I feel I've spent my whole life in and around it. Did you know this is my first time outside Washington? It's opened my eyes to another world."

The gaping mouths and wide eyes told me that maybe I'd said too much. I hadn't realized those feelings were even there until the words were out. The only one who didn't look at all surprised was Jess. She knew more about me than anyone else. I looked at the others sheepishly.

"I didn't mean it to come out quite like that. You know I wouldn't leave."

A short silence followed as each took in my words before Alice changed the topic back to what I did yesterday. "What else did you do?"

"We had dinner and walked along Hollywood Boulevard looking at the stars and talked, then we came back to the hotel for a nightcap, which turned into two or three. It was his birthday, and I celebrated a little too much. Edward helped me back to the room, then went back to his hotel. I know he's flying back to San Francisco today."

I hadn't told a single lie, only omitting Edward had returned to his hotel this morning.

"Edward sounds like a great guy, Bella," Alice said. "He's so handsome, although I know that's no guide, is it? I'm so glad you got to spend time with someone other than Jake—he's such an idiot. I have no idea why you stay with him. You could do so much better."

To my surprise, Angela agreed with Alice.

"You know I'm all for working at marriage and sticking with it through good times and bad, but Jake isn't good for you, Bella. I haven't seen you as happy as you have been this weekend. I know you're missing Connor like crazy; I know I miss Sophie, but without Jake, you've somehow blossomed into a different person. More like you were in high school."

My mouth dropped open as Angela finished speaking and lifted her drink to her mouth. After taking a long sip, she spoke again. "I know, I know, not what you expected? Just know I see you, Bella, and I know you aren't happy with Jake. Someday you're going to have to decide." She looked around at the others. "We'll all be there for you, too."

"Well, I don't know what to say, Angela. I don't have any plans to split up with Jake, but I know a conversation about where we're headed is overdue." I sighed and looked down at my hands that were wrapped around my glass. "I don't know what I want, but you're right, this trip has made me realize my happiness is important."

We were then interrupted by the waiter bringing our food, and, mercifully, the conversation about Jake and me was put on the back burner while we all dug in. Somehow, the fact that all my girls were aware of how disconnected I was from my life made me feel so much better, and my appetite returned enough to be able to eat my chicken salad.

With the meal over, we headed down to the beach, picking out some sun loungers. We spent the afternoon sunbathing, gossiping, listening to music, and swimming in the ocean, returning to the hotel, sun-kissed and tired, arranging to meet later for dinner.

~ oOo ~