A/N: so this is the first of three chapters written for the 100th reviewer of Troubled Teachers, SkullChaser09. The prompt will be revealed at the end of the third chapter. And parts of this first chapter were written by SkullChaser09 but I have adapted some of the text to better fit the way I saw this fic going.
"Regina, thanks again for dinner," Emma said as she turned back to the brunette host after shrugging on her favourite leather jacket. "It was delicious as always." She smiled widely, standing in the foyer of Regina's mansion, hovering by the door and showing a slight reluctance to leave.
"You're very welcome, Emma," Regina replied.
Emma couldn't help but beam when the Mayor used her first name. It showed just how far they had come from the days of Miss Swan and Madam Mayor.
"I'm just thankful that I now have two kids who appreciate my cooking," Regina continued.
Emma's smile faltered and she felt her body tense. She presumed the two children to which Regina was referring were Henry and Roland. Emma had known Regina was back together with Robin after the whole disaster with Marian cum Zelena for a while now. It would therefore make sense for Robin to bring his son over regularly to spend time with Regina and Henry. Already Emma had bumped into the family on various outings around in Storybrooke. If she got the chance, she always tried to avoid them, sneaking glances from a distance rather than getting involved in a conversation.
Her heart ached but she tried to suppress her feelings. She tried not to let them show on her face and always faked a smile when she saw Regina. But she knew what she was feeling. She had known what she felt towards the older woman for quite some time. She wanted her life to be with Regina. She wanted her future to be Regina. But she also knew she would never get what she wanted. Life had never worked out that way for her.
But it didn't stop her feelings.
Regina knew Emma inside and out. They were so similar and yet so different, both seeing the other as their best friend (even though neither of them had ever used that term). But they were. They understood each other better than anyone else in the world. So Regina didn't miss how Emma's smile switched from genuine to fake in her hallway. She could read the younger woman's expressions as well as she could read her own son's. The blonde's body gave her away too. The tension evident for just a couple of seconds. Regina could tell Emma was distressed because the blonde's hands had been shoved into her jeans pockets.
"Yeah, kids love to eat," Emma replied after a pause. "They're growing fast, right? Need all the nutrients and stuff."
"Emma," Regina frowned, a look of concern on her face. "What's the matter? What did I say to upset you?"
The brunette stepped forwards, squeezing the woman's strong bicep in what she hoped was a comforting way. Emma smiled sadly and hung her head. She sighed, debating whether this was the day she was strong enough to tell Regina how she truly felt. Her left hand drifted to the inside pocket of her jacket, fingering the item there. Maybe this was the time. Why else would she have brought this thing to dinner with her?
Emma sighed once more before she gathered her courage and looked up, her gaze locking with Regina's at once, confusion and determination aligned.
"Emma?" Regina all but whispered.
The blonde reached out, interlacing the fingers of her right hand with Regina's left and felt her body immediately calm at the physical touch.
"Regina, I have something to say to you. But you have to promise me not to freak out, ok?" Emma's tone was serious and Regina was surprised to see this now rare side of the Sheriff.
"Emma, whatever it is, you can tell me. You know I'm here for you, right?" Regina said with a reassuring smile and a squeeze of her fingers.
Emma took a deep breath.
"Regina Mills, it has been over five years since the first moment I met you here. Well, technically in front of your house but you know what I mean. Anyway, the first time I saw you, you were running out of this house to meet Henry, hugging him tightly and asking about his safety. In that moment, I knew you were a wonderful mother and everything I could ever have hoped for my baby when I gave him up for adoption. You were the woman who gave our son everything I am still not able to -,"
"Emma," Regina interrupted, but she fell silent as soon as Emma's finger pressed softly against her lips. The blonde shook her head and gave a 'please let me do this' kind of look before she held Regina's hand once more. Emma took a second deep breath, and continued.
"You are the best and most loving mother ever and I am so grateful for all you have done for Henry. You have the biggest heart of anyone I have ever met and you are so full of love. You have worked so hard to redeem yourself and now you have proved to the town that you are no longer the Evil Queen. We have gone through so much together. We have fought against each other, we have fought alongside each other and we have fought for each other. We went from mortal enemies to civil co-parents for Henry's sake, and then we became friends. Since Henry waltzed back into my life, all I ever wanted was to be friends with my son's mother but you made it so difficult for me at the start. You are such a pain in the ass. Not that I'm complaining because I love your ass."
"Miss Swan," Regina said, throwing Emma a playful glare as the woman blushed scarlet at what she had just said.
Stammering a little, she continued. "I - I love when you call me that, but not when you're angry with me. Anyway, what I want to say is that since we have become friends, I have realised a few things about myself. Regina, I don't want to be friends with you any more."
Emma watched Regina's face as her expression changed from confusion, to shock, to hurt, to sadness and disappointment. When she felt the brunette tug her hand away, Emma tightened her grip and continued.
"What I mean to say is that I want more," she clarified. "I want more with you Regina. I want to be more than just your friend. More than just a partner in parenting Henry. I want to be your best friend, your lover, your life partner, your everything. I want to be your everything, Regina, because you already are my everything. Being your friend is amazing but it's not enough for me any more."
Regina was stunned into silence, her face shocked and dazed.
"Why?" she said after a long pause. Emma couldn't help but chuckle at that. She thought it was obvious to everyone who saw the two of them together but perhaps Regina hadn't noticed the way Emma acted towards her.
"Why?" Emma repeated. "Because I'm in love with you. I fell in love with you, Regina, the Mayor of Storybrooke, the mother to our son, the famous former Evil Queen, and the most breathtakingly beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. I knew from the moment I met you that I found you attractive. But as I said, you were a right pain in the ass. Despite that, my feelings have grown over time and even before you were with Robin, I knew I had fallen for you. But I was too scared, too afraid of the rejection to approach you and ask for more. And then our crazy lives and magical beings and the endless threats got in the way again and again. When I saw that darkness wrapping itself around you, consuming you, I knew I would do anything for you, to save you. I would sacrifice my own life if it meant keeping you safe and I would do so again and again."
"What about Hook?" Regina asked, her brain struggling to process everything that had just been said.
"I know this sounds bad but Hook was merely a distraction. When I was trying to figure out my feeling for you, he was there, following me around like a lost puppy. It was a mistake, bad judgement on my part and clearly it led him on and his feelings developed. I was going to end things. I really was. But when Robin came into our lives and you were so happy because you thought you'd found your True Love, it was so painful for me. Hook was there, he was easy, it was uncomplicated and I needed that distraction of someone else to stop me thinking about you. And he's a nice guy, sweet, generous. But I was never in love with him, despite what I said before I consumed the darkness. I'd always known I was really in love with you."
Emma smiled softly but it didn't reach her eyes. Her fingers fidgeted in Regina's hand as she waited for the older woman to catch up with the revelation. Her nerves were mounting and again she felt for the item in her jacket pocket.
"I may have taken a rather long time in saying this. I may have wasted years, in fact. I may have broken your heart too many times. I might disturb your happy life as it is right now. But I don't want to put this off any longer. I don't want to waste any more time. I want you, I want to be with you, and I need you in my life, Regina. It hurts me too much not to be able to be with you every single second I breathe. I love you, I have always been in love with you, and always will be. Forever. And so -,"
Emma knew it was cliché but she didn't care. She knelt down and pulled the item from her jacket pocket, holding it up towards Regina. The older woman's eyes flew to the small jewellery box before her. Emma opened the box slowly and watched as the other woman's eyes widened and she gasped as she saw the beautiful white gold ring, covered in delicate diamonds. Regina's hands flew to her mouth.
"Regina Mills, will you do me the honour of giving me the chance of being your happy ending, your new beginning? Will you take a leap of faith and be with me? Will you spend the rest of your life as my wife? Will you marry me?"
Regina looked down at the woman before her in complete shock. Emma's eyes were wide with determination, hope, care, and love. Everything that Regina had always hoped to see in her lover's. But then images of Robin, Roland, and Henry flashed through her mind and she stepped backwards.
"Emma, this is all … this is … I can't," she stuttered.
The younger woman understood. She stood up and snapped the box lid closed. Reaching for Regina's hand, she placed the box into it and closed the brunette's fingers around it, squeezing softly with a tight-lipped smile.
"I get it, don't worry. I'll give you all the time you need to think. I know it's a lot to take in and you need time to digest what I just told you. Whatever choice you make, I know you will not regret it. Think about yourself and no one else, not even Henry. I know you'll want to make everyone happy but for once Regina, just think about you and what you want. When you decide, I'll be waiting and I promise to respect your decision. Trust me. If … If you do choose me, I will be so honoured and I promise to spend the rest of my life making yours full of joy and happiness. But if that isn't what you want, that's ok too. It will hurt, sure, but I'll understand. We can still be friends and you have to know that I will have your back. Always."
Emma watched as Regina listened carefully to her words and nodded slowly to show she understood. Her gaze however avoided Emma's, a flush of embarrassment on the olive toned cheeks. Emma took the silence as a sign for her to go home. But before she left, she squeezed Regina's hand, stepping closer to her and placing a finger under Regina's chin. She gently raised the brunette's head and their gazes locked once more. Emma could feel the Mayor's breath on her skin. The blonde leaned forwards very slowly, giving Regina time to move away. Instead, the older woman's eyelids fluttered closed as her heart rate sped up.
Emma had to use all her self control not to kiss Regina's mouth. Instead, she brushed her lips softly against her cheek. She heard Regina sigh at the contact and her heart ached a little at the noise.
The white smoke engulfed her suddenly. Emma had not wanted Regina to see the tear which began to slide down her cheeks. Materialising in her own bedroom, Emma kicked off her boots, threw her jacket to the floor and collapsed onto the bed. Her tears soaked into her pillow that night until, eventually, she fell asleep.