'What the hell?' Naruto thought as a ringing sound was heard in his apartment. 'What the hell is that infernal ringing?! Oh... It's the alarm clock.' he thought with a smile before his eyes widened. "School!"
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Iruka was in the classroom that had every single student in it except for one. Naruto. He was staring at the clock.
'Naruto has one minute left.'
Suddenly Naruto, wearing beige pants, a white, long sleeved shirt, a brown leather jacket, a hat and a pouch, slightly larger than a kunai pouch, hanging from a leather strap diagonally across his upper body so it rested on his hip, swung into the classroom through the window with a smile on his face and a whip in his hand (Indiana Jones style!) Strapped to his hip was a machete (Instead of a gun.)
"Never fear! Indiana Jon... err... Uzumaki is here!" Naruto shouted with a grin making the class sweatdrop.
"You're one minute early, Naruto. That's a new record." Iruka said with a smile as Naruto sat down.
"I know. The alarm clock woke me up two minutes earlier today. I must be getting the flu or something."
"Alright, guys." Iruka said with a smile. "It's been a pain in my ass watching you all grow up but my hard work is finally paying off. Today is graduation day! But you'll only graduate if you pass the exam. You will all come into this room and do the three academy jutsus." he said and looked at Naruto. "Including the Bunshin."
Naruto just stared at Iruka before lowering his head. "Fuck..."
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Last in line, Uzumaki... Needless to say the test didn't go so well. Naruto was supposed to make three clones. He made one. And it was pathetic! It looked sick and unmoving.
"You fail!" Iruka shouted making Naruto drop his head in disappointment.
"Iruka. Maybe we should pass him. He excelled on all the other tests. He just missed on this one." Mizuki said with a raised eyebrow making Iruka sigh.
"Mizuki-sensei... The requirement was three clones. Naruto made one and it's not even a good one. I'm sorry, Naruto, but I have no choice. You fail."
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Later, Naruto was sitting in the schoolyard with a frown on his face when Mizuki walked up to him.
"Naruto. I talked to Iruka. He agreed to let you take a test that fit your abilities better."
"Really?!" Naruto asked with wide eyes. "What do I have to do?"
"Well, you have to go to the Hokage tower, sneak past the guards, steal the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing and learn one jutsu from it."
"Piece of cake." Naruto said with a grin on his face getting a smile from Mizuki.
"Good. Meet me at the shack in the forest just outside of Konoha, that's a good secluded place where you can learn the jutsu."
"Cool! Thanks, Mizuki-sensei!" Naruto said and got off the swing he was sitting on before taking off.
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Later that night, Naruto was in the Hokage tower and had just sneaked past the guards. When he was outside he had taken a bag and filled it with sand. Now he was in front of the pedestal where the Forbidden Scroll of Sealing was.
'Gently now...' Naruto thought as he held the bag of sand in his right hand. He grabbed the scroll with his left hand and got ready to take it. 'Quickly switch it... now!' he thought and quickly switched the scroll with the bag of sand. 'It worked!'
Naruto smiled and turned to walk away when the button that the bag was on sank into the pedestal making Naruto's smile turn into a frown. "Shit..." was all he said before taking off. Kunai's were launched at him from the walls. He ran past them easily. Just as he got out of the room and into the corridor he thought he was safe and smiled. A click from above him turned his smile into a frown once again. A huge boulder rolled of a ramp and started rolling towards him. He did the only thing he could think of. He ran.
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! Motherfucking tittyfucking Christ! Come on, legs, don't fail me now!" he shouted as he ran from the boulder that just picked up more speed. Then he saw the end of the corridor where there was a window. He picked up some speed and jumped through as quickly as he could. Too bad he didn't think about the fact that he was ten stories up.
'When will this end...?' Naruto thought as he plummeted to the ground before slamming into it with a crash. Strangely though, he was unharmed.
'I'm the main character. I can't die. Especially not in the first chapter.' Naruto thought as he dusted himself off. 'Though I'm surprised no one heard that.' he thought and looked up at the sky. "What's with the rolling stone?! I'm Indiana Uzumaki! Not Indiana Jones! Jones is to the west!"
"Sorry... It got mixed up..." came a voice from the sky.
Meanwhile, to the west.
Indiana Jones had just picked up the golden statue when the statues on the wall opened their mouths.
'What the...?' was all he could think before eight strings of black fire were blown at him.
Back in Konoha.
Naruto sighed and took off towards the forest outside of Konoha where he sat down to read the scroll.
"Let's see here... first jutsu is Kage Bunshin... This is just great! The first jutsu is my most hated enemy!"
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An hour later, Naruto was sitting next to the shack panting in exhaustion. Iruka's voice was heard from behind him.
"You're in big trouble now, Naruto."
Naruto turned around with a smile. "Iruka-sensei! Do I pass now? I learned a jutsu from the scroll so I can be a ninja now, right?"
"What are you talking about?" Iruka asked looking puzzled. "Who told you that?"
"Mizuki-sensei did! He told me about the scroll, about this place, about the special test. Mizuki-sensei..." Naruto said and stopped when he saw Irukas shocked expression.
'Mizuki?'
Just then a bunch of shurikens and kunais came out of the woods and were about to hit them both but Iruka pushed Naruto out of the way, resulting in him getting scratched on the right thigh and left shoulder.
"Good job, Naruto. Now, hand me the scroll." Mizuki said standing on a tree branch with a smirk on his face.
"Hey! I'm not an idiot! I know when I've been set up. There's no way I'll hand the scroll over to you." Naruto said with narrowed eyes.
"Fine." Mizuki said and took one of those ridiculously large shurikens off his back. "Then I'll just kill you and take the scroll." he said and tossed the shuriken. Naruto took out his whip and attached it to the hole of the shuriken as it came flying. He swung it around his head and tossed it back at Mizuki who was taken by surprise and fell out of the tree.
"You're forgetting that I excelled in all other tests, Mizuki-sensei." Naruto said with a smirk. "And the fox has enhanced my strength as well."
"You know about that?" Mizuki asked with wide eyes as he got off the ground.
"Of course I do. The old man told me about it when I turned ten." Naruto said and smiled. "By the way, I just found out. Do you know why I suck at the Bunshin?" he asked and put his hands in half ram seals before crossing them. "It's because I have too much chakra. I can't use the small amount it takes to make a bunshin. Now check out my new technique. Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"
In a huge poof of smoke the entire area was over flooded by Narutos.
'That's not Bunshin. It's Kage Bunshin! It actually makes solid clones instead of illusions. Naruto, you learned this in just an hour or something?' Iruka thought with wide eyes.
The Narutos cracked their knuckles. "You hurt Iruka-sensei and you tried to hurt me. Time for an ass beating of a lifetime." they all said in unison.
"Oh boy..." was all Mizuki could say before the clones attacked.
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Seventeen minutes and thirty three seconds later, Naruto was standing above the beaten and bruised Mizuki with a grin on his face.
"He was lucky I didn't use my whip or machete."
"Naruto." Iruka said with a smile. "Come here for a moment."
Naruto raised an eye brow and walked over to Iruka who removed his headband and tore off the plate before handing it to Naruto.
"Congratulations, on graduating." Iruka said with a smile making Naruto grin.
"Yes! I'm a ninja, ninja, ninja!" Naruto shouted jumping around happily before stopping with his eyes closed, a cool smile on his face and a raised finger. "But only part time. I'm also... a soon to be world famous archaeologist!" he exclaimed pumping his fist into the air.
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The next day he went to the Higarashi weapon shop with the Konoha plate and jacket in hand. He walked up to the counter where a man in his forties with brown hair stood behind it with a smile on his face.
"Excuse me, Higarashi-san. I was wondering if you could attach this plate to the left side of the chest on this jacket? And how much will it cost?"
"A job like this? Nothing, Naruto-san" Higarashi said with a smile and took the jacket and plate. "I'll have it ready in a few minutes."
"Thank you." Naruto said and sat down to wait. True to his words Higarashi came out of the back in just a few minutes with the jacket in hand.
"There you go. On the house." he said and handed over the jacket to Naruto who smiled.
"Thanks." Naruto said and left the store.
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Six hours later he was in a room in the Hokage tower sitting on a chair in front of the Hokage who looked at Naruto's picture.
It was a good picture only he had drawn symbols on his face.
"Naruto... What's with these symbols?" the Hokage, Sarutobi, asked gesturing for the picture.
"It's Latin, Old man." Naruto said with a grin. "It says 'She who seeks true bliss should kiss this face'."
"Retake it."
Naruto sighed. "No fucking way."
"Retake the photo, Naruto."
Naruto put a hand on his chin and entered a thinking pose. "Hmm... How about... no?"
"How about... retake the photo or I will tear this paper to shreds, prohibiting you from becoming ninja?"
"Asshole..." Naruto muttered before nodding. "Fine. I'll retake the photo."
Sarutobi smiled. "And can you take off the hat when taking the photo?"
"Never! Tear the paper to shreds, I don't care, but you will not make me take off my hat!"
Sarutobi shrugged. "Meh, it was worth a shot."
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The next day Naruto's papers were ready and he was in the classroom to get his team assignments.
"Team 7 will consist of Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura and Uchiha Sasuke."
Naruto leaned in towards Sasuke. "Why is she on our team?"
"I don't know..." Sasuke answered with a sigh.
"Wait here for your senseis to come pick you up." Iruka said and left the classroom.
They waited for four hours before their sensei showed up looking lazy.
"Alright. Meet on the roof." was all he said before poofing out of view.
Once on the roof their sensei looked at them.
"Alright! Introductions!"
"What do you mean, sensei?" Sakura asked making Kakashi sigh.
'Is she really the smartest girl in her class?' he thought. "I mean names, likes, dislikes, hobbies and dreams."
"Why don't you go first? Just so we know what to do..."
"Who, me? Very well." Kakashi said and cleared his throat. "I'm Hatake Kakashi. My likes and dislikes are none of your concern. I have lots of hobbies... My dreams for the future...? Never really thought about them... Now you, Pinky."
"I'm Haruno Sakura. My likes are... (Glances at Sasuke with a blush.) My hobbies are... (Glancing at Sasuke again) My dream for the future is... (Here she glances at Sasuke and squeals.)"
"Okay..." Kakashi said and looked at Sasuke. "Now you."
"I'm Uchiha Sasuke. I have many dislikes and one of my likes is archeology. My hobbies are going with Naruto on archaeological digs and training and my dream for the future is to become a strong ninja and a good archaeologist."
"Great." Kakashi said. 'It seems he's given up that whole avenger act.' he thought and pointed at Naruto. "You."
"My name is Uzumaki Naruto, though I prefer Indiana, or Indy. My likes are finding rare artifacts, ramen and my hat. My dislikes are noisy fangirls and idiots. My hobbies are digging up or finding rare artifacts. My dream for the future is to be known around the world as the best archaeologist ever to have walked this earth! That and become Hokage."
"That's good for you." Kakashi said and looked at his students. "Tomorrow we will have survival training. Meet me at training ground... 7..." he said and stopped when he noticed that two of his students weren't even paying attention to him.
"So, Naruto... What archaeological finds have you made recently?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow. Naruto smiled and reached into his bag before taking out an old cloth with what looked like a map on it.
"This, Sasuke, is the map to the greatest find ever. This is the reason I got interested in archeology in the first place." Naruto said holding up the map that showed a huge valley with two statues on either side of it.
"What does it say?" Sasuke asked trying to read the faded letters on the cloth.
"It says 'Through the valley, into the mouth, complete the trials and find the path to the Holy Icha'." Naruto said with a smile. "The first ever Icha Icha, the book only talked about in stories, the very book of legends that inspired Jiraiya, the legendary sannin, to write his books. The holiest of holy. The first and best porno ever read." he said looking at Sasuke with a gleam in his eye. "Hard to resist, isn't it?"
Sasuke stared at the piece of cloth. "The Holy Icha... My dad used to tell me about it. Does it really exist?"
"According to this, it does."
"The Holy Icha..." Kakashi said with wide eyes. "You have a map that can lead us to the Holy Icha?"
"Yes." Naruto said and looked at Kakashi with narrowed eyes. "Why?"
Kakashi pulled out a copy of Icha Icha Paradise and showed it to Naruto.
"The Icha Icha series is like a bible to me. I would give my right arm and left leg to just hold the Holy Icha..." Kakashi said and snapped his fingers. "I got it! We're not going to do survival training tomorrow. We will... go find the Holy Icha!"
"But sensei! That's archaeological stuff. We're supposed to be ninjas, right?" Sakura asked making the three men stare at her for a few seconds before walking away talking vigorously.
"So, Naruto. Do you think there might be more things around these parts?" Kakashi asked getting a shrug from Naruto.
"Who knows. Maybe. But do you think the Old man will let us leave the village for something like this?"
Kakashi snapped his fingers with a smile. "I got an idea."
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The next day.
Kakashi was in the Hokage's office with Naruto and Sasuke and had just told Sarutobi about his idea.
"You want to what?" Sarutobi asked with wide eyes.
"I want to remove Sakura from my team and turn it into an archaeological team. We will travel around the Elemental Countries, looking for relics to place in the Konoha museum and we'll also do missions on the way. Sakura is not suited for archeology. She's not suited to be a ninja either."
"But what made you come to the archeology decision?" Sarutobi asked with a raised eyebrow.
Naruto smiled and pulled out the map. "Look at this, Old man. Directions that will lead us to... the Holy Icha!"
Sarutobi choked on his pipe. "T-The Holy Icha?! But that was lost during the Nidaime's reign!"
"Apparently it was hidden away. No matter what you say we will go after it. This is what I live for, Old man!" Naruto said with a grin. "And once we've found it we'll bring it to the museum."
Sarutobi stared at the map with wide eyes. "Fine! Find it. And when you bring it here you can count on that the papers for Konoha's first archeology team will be ready."
"Yes!" Naruto exclaimed with a grin. "And Sakura?"
"I'll place her with Team 10."
"Great." Kakashi said with an eye smile. "We'll get some supplies and then we'll head out."
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Half an hour later the three were at the gate. Naruto had everything he needed stored in a scroll in his pouch, Sasuke had the sleeping bags in a scroll and Kakashi had stored food and water in a scroll. Of course, in another scroll, he also brought his entire Icha Icha collection.
"Alright, guys." Kakashi said and started walking. "When we set up camp I'm gonna teach you the tree climbing exercise."
"Tree climbing?" Sasuke asked with a raised eyebrow. "What kind of training is that? Stamina?"
"That too." Kakashi said with a nod. "But it's also chakra training. The idea is to channel chakra to your feet and walk up a tree. Too little and you'll just slip, too much and you'll bounce off."
"That sounds hard." Naruto said.
"But it might be fun." Sasuke said getting a nod of agreement from Naruto.
"You should really master it tonight since you will most definitely need it in the valley on the map."
"Do you know what valley this is?" Naruto asked and Kakashi nodded.
"Yes. It's the Valley of the End. The place where the Shodai Hokage fought and killed Uchiha Madara."
"Uchiha... Madara...? Who is that?" Sasuke asked with a hand on his chin. "I think I've heard of him before."
"Uchiha Madara was the one who helped Shodai-sama create Konoha. Then, for some reason, he deserted. Shodai-sama hunted him down and during their wild fight, the valley was created. Then Konoha built the statues of Madara and Shodai-sama on either side of it."
"What can we expect in there, Indy?" Sasuke asked the blond who shrugged.
"I don't know. That depends on how much the people who put it there wanted to keep others away from it." Naruto said and looked up at the sky. "But whatever it is, I hope it's not a rolling boulder."
"By the way. Where did you find that map?" Kakashi asked making Naruto put a hand on his chin.
"Well... Three days ago I was digging in the forest to the west of Konoha when I dug up the entrance to the Temple of Icha. There, in the hand of a statue of the Icha god, Hentai, was this." he said and held out the map.
"Wow..." was all Sasuke could say.
"We'll set up camp here." Kakashi said three hours later as Sasuke unsealed the sleeping bags. "Now, go over to those trees and try to climb them only using your feet."
Naruto and Sasuke walked over to the trees and channeled chakra to their feet before trying to walk up. It didn't go so well.
"Shit!" Naruto shouted as he slammed into the ground for the fifteenth time that day.
"Ditto!" Sasuke shouted as he too fell to the ground. "What are we doing wrong?"
"I don't know..." Naruto said with a groan as he got up. He turned to his sensei who was sitting in a tree, giggling and reading his Icha Icha. "Hey, sensei! What are we doing wrong?! Give us some pointers!"
Kakashi sighed and put away his Icha Icha.
"Alright. The mistakes you're making is this: When you're climbing the tree, you need to put an exact amount of chakra into your feet. You two are not putting enough chakra into it, though it's harder for Naruto since he has a whole lot more chakra than any of us."
"Thanks to my condition." Naruto said, pointing at his stomach at Sasuke's questioning look.
"Oh." Sasuke said and nodded. "Gotcha."
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One day, thirty faceplants each and one Icha Icha later, our heroes find themselves at the Valley of the End, staring at the overly huge waterfall.
"I'm starting to have second thoughts about this." Sasuke said, looking down before turning to Naruto. "It's the statue on this end, right? The Shodai?"
Naruto picked up his 'map.'
"No..." he said and pointed it at the Madara statue. "It's over there... All the way across the huge waterfall and the spiky rocks of doom at the bottom of it..."
"Oh, yeah." Kakashi said with an eye smile. "You don't know water walking, do you?"
"We didn't even know tree climbing!" Naruto shouted with a glare. "But I know how to get across."
"Oh really?" Kakashi asked, that annoying smile still on his face. "How?"
"We give you a rope and you, the only one who knows water walking, get across, tie the rope to something and let us climb over." Naruto said with a sickeningly sweet smile.
"I like that idea." Sasuke agreed, turning to Kakashi who gulped.
"N-Now, now! There must be another way!" Kakashi said while Sasuke unsealed a long rope.
"Less talking, more water walking, sensei." he said with a grin.
'This is for the greater good.' Kakashi thought, grabbing the rope. 'Though it doesn't mean I have to like it...'
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So? Loved it? Hated it? Tell me what you think?
R&R!! Please!!