A/N: Hello all! I just want to let you all know not to despair; I haven't
abandoned my other story 'For Better & For Worse'. This is just a little
ficlet that I actually wrote a while ago, when the season ended I believe,
but I really wasn't happy with it so I forgot about it. I recently found
it, went over it again and think I am finally happy with the final result.
I hope you all enjoy.
Thump, thump.
Nick opened his eyes slowly. Something, some strange noise had woken him from a deep sleep. With a disgruntled groan he rolled from his stomach onto his back and raised his head, listening for the sound to try and figure out what the hell it was.
Thump, thump, thump.
There it was again. Someone was pounding on his front door. He looked over at the clock on his nightstand and cursed dropping his head back on his pillow. He had only been asleep a couple hours after having worked a load of overtime at the lab. The explosion had done a ton of damage and they only had a limited amount of time to restore as much of the evidence as possible before it was lost forever. He had to head back there for his scheduled shift in less than three hours. And now someone was trying to bang his door in, interrupting the precious little time he had to rest.
"Wonderful, that's just tremendous," he grumbled, scowling and throwing the covers off and getting out of his nice perfectly warm comfortable bed.
Thump, thump, thump, thump.
"Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming," he muttered at the persistent knocking, pulling on a pair of black sweat pants and padding out of his bedroom to the front of his house, yawning and scratching his bare chest. "Jesus Christ, hold your horses."
He reached the door, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked through the peephole, expecting to see some poor little innocent cookie-selling girl scouts about to receive his wrath.
"Sara?" He pulled the door open and squinting in the late afternoon sunlight looked at her questioningly. "Hey."
"Hey," she said back softly, taking in his tousled and half-dressed appearance. "I woke you, I'm sorry."
"Uh no, no it's okay." He shook himself, still trying to wake up and stepped aside to let her in. "What's up? Something wrong?"
She shook her head, walking in with her eyes trained on the floor. He closed the door and noticed that she had been crying.
"Sara, what happened?" he asked, concerned. He put a gentle hand on her arm, led her to the couch and sat beside her. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said thickly, shaking her head. "Nothing, I just. I've just had kind of a rough day. well actually couple of days, and I." she trailed off.
"I just didn't know where else to go." She finally looked up at him and her eyes moistened.
"Aw, Sar, come here," Nick said pulling her into his arms and she began to cry quietly. He rubbed her back, whispering soothing words in her ear. "It's okay, it's okay. Shh, it's alright darlin', everything's gonna be okay. Hush now, it's alright."
In his mind he wondered what had happened to set this off. He had never seen Sara cry, ever, and they had had some pretty awful cases, seen terrible things. She kept her emotions well hidden, even from him. This was very unlike the strong independent woman he knew, the woman who had become his best friend. And he really didn't like it.
"I'm sorry Nick," she said eventually when her tears had run dry. She stayed in his embrace, her arms around his waist and her head on his shoulder.
"Hey, it's okay," he assured her, resting his chin on the top of her head and stroking her silky hair. "You wanna tell me what's going on? There something you want to talk about?"
She tensed slightly and paused, then shook her head. "No, not really."
Nick nodded and complied with her wishes, just holding her in his arms patiently and not pushing any further.
Sara was thinking about her conversation with Grissom, running it through her head. His outright refusal to even go out for dinner, his complete dismissal of her had broken her heart and left her feeling even more rejected and unwanted than her breakup with Hank already had. She debated talking to Nick about it then completely decided against it. The fewer people who knew about that embarrassing incident the better; it had been humiliating enough the first time around and she never wanted to even think about it again. Grissom was gone today, dealing with a family emergency or something so at least she had a few days to get her head back. But being around him the week leading up to his leave had been incredibly awkward and stressful for her.
So that, plus the explosion plus the train-wreck that was her love life had all piled up and now she just wanted a shoulder to cry on. Nick's shoulder more specifically.
She remembered the day they met, now nearly three years ago. Fresh off a plane from San Francisco, she had made her way immediately to meet with Grissom at his crime scene. They had been discussing the case when Nick had come down from the roof of the hotel where he had been tossing dummies, trying to brush the Meyer's dust off his clothes. Upon seeing her he offered his hand, a warm welcome and a bright Texan smile that had immediately caught her attention and attraction and Sara found herself instantly drawn to him. The two young CSIs had hit it off right away as friends who teased and flirted shamelessly. But it was only recently that she had come to look at Nick in a different way, and she found herself wishing that they were more than just close friends.
She buried her face into his neck, breathing his comforting masculine scent in deeply. He had that warm clean yet slightly musky, fresh out of bed smell and she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be completely surrounded by it. Sleeping in his bed beside him instead of lying awake and lonely in her own. She shifted a bit closer to him on the couch.
"I'm just so tired of it," she finally murmured, her lips brushing the tender sensitive skin of his throat. He shivered a bit in response to that, trying to push a sudden wave of emotions and the surge of raging hormones aside.
"Of what?" he asked hoarsely, now beginning to see where this was going to lead. Her fingers had started stroking light seductive patterns on his side that left his skin burning in their wake and she was pressing her warm supple body against him.
"Being alone," Sara replied, trailing one hand around to run over his chiseled abs and up to his firm chest. She planted soft scorching kisses up the strong column of his neck to behind his ear. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, suppressing a groan.
"I don't want to be alone anymore," she whispered, her wandering hand moving to the back of his neck to play in his short hair. "Do you Nicky?"
Sara was well aware of Nick's playboy reputation. She also saw the way he looked at her and was quite willing to take advantage of that, even just once, just to escape and make all that was going on in her life temporarily disappear.
Nick was frozen solid unable to move, speak or have a rational thought go through his head. Sara's lips traveled down his jaw line rasping against his stubble. Reaching the corner of his mouth her tongue darted out for a quick taste. She kissed his bottom lip tenderly then the top one before pressing her mouth squarely against his. He sat there completely taken off guard as she began to kiss him ardently. How long had he dreamed of this happening but had absolutely no idea or any real expectations that she would reciprocate his attraction to her at all. He wasn't blind. Nick knew what a beautiful woman Sara was he just never figured he was her type. Apparently he was wrong since here she was, practically in his lap and kissing him with rising passion, nipping and tugging at his lips with hers. Some nether region of his mind actually began to compute what was happening and his conscience told him something wasn't right about this. As much as his body was aching to take advantage of the situation his heart couldn't.
"Sara," he started but was silenced when her tongue pushed its way into his mouth and tangled with his.
He groaned and she moaned softly, her hands traveling all over him, appreciating the hard muscles and the way they moved and flexed under his warm smooth skin. She pushed him against the back of the couch and climbed up to straddle his hips and his hands automatically went to her waist on their own accord, gripping tightly. He gave himself a mental kick in the head; this was getting way out of hand and had to stop before he lost all control of himself and they both ended up doing something that they regretted.
"Sara, wait, please," he started, pulling his mouth away from hers. She paid no attention, moving to kiss the sensitive spots on his neck again then finding her way to his earlobe and pulling it into her mouth. She traced the shell of his ear with the tip of her tongue before dipping it inside and Nick temporarily lost all ability to speak. Her nimble roaming fingers made their way down his abs to the waistband of his sweats.
"Whoa," he managed to croak breathlessly, catching her wrists on his hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sara, stop." He pushed her away gently, but firmly. "Stop. Slow down."
"What's wrong Nick?" she said grinning. Her voice was low and breathy and incredibly seductive. "Never figured you for a guy who would turn down an opportunity like this."
She leaned forward to try and kiss him again but he brought his hands up to her shoulders.
"Sara, I'm serious," he said holding her away from him. She searched his eyes and her smile slowly faded, a heartbroken frown taking its place. Quickly she scrambled off him and stood.
"I'm-I'm sorry," she mumbled stumbling backwards, studiously avoiding his gaze as she made her way to the door. "I shouldn't have come over."
"Hey, Sara hang on, wait."
Nick got up shakily and went after her. He put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. "Don't you think we should talk about what just happened here?"
"No," she said, adamantly shaking her head. "Please, Nick let's just forget this ever happened, okay?"
"Uh-uh. No way, not a chance," he replied sternly. "Jesus, Sara you can't just come to my house, crawl into my lap and start kissing me and then expect me to pretend it was nothing. I don't think so. I don't think I'm being unreasonable when I ask for some sort of explanation here."
"Look, Nick it was just an extremely bad error in judgment on my part, okay? Call it a momentary lapse of reason. Let's just leave it at that." She turned away and started to open the door, but his hand shot out over her shoulder, slamming it shut again. Sara jumped, startled and she turned back to face him.
"Damn it Sara, I will not leave it at that," he told her starting to loose his patience. He was still leaning on the door, his arm trapping her between the wall, the door and his body. "And I am not letting you just walk away from this until you tell me what that was all about. What the hell is going on with you?"
They stared at each other intensely each stubbornly hoping the other would give in. Finally Sara was the first to look away. When she eventually spoke her voice was small.
"I just thought. I thought that was what you wanted." She bit her lip and tears pooled in her eyes but didn't fall. "The way you've been acting around me lately I thought that maybe you wanted me. the way I've been wanting you."
Nick just stared at her, totally shocked and speechless once again. He stood back a little letting his arm slip from the door.
"Sara. I." His mouth moved but he couldn't form any words. When he didn't say anything anger and hurt registered on her face.
"Obviously I was wrong," she uttered through clenched teeth, her unshed tears splashing onto her cheeks. Suddenly she shoved him backwards and he staggered back a few steps.
"No Sara, wait," he began desperately. But before he had the chance to try explain or do anything she was gone, the door slamming behind her.
Nick entered the break-room, went directly to the cupboard and got a mug, dumping in a couple spoonfuls of sugar and filling it nearly to the brim with coffee. After his little 'incident' with Sara he had tried going back to bed but of course sleep was out of the question. Eventually he had given up tossing and turning between his sheets, showered and dressed and made his way back to the crime lab.
On his way he had tried calling her but as soon as she had heard his voice she had hung up on him. He had redialed twice but she had just let her phone ring and ring until he had given up. This frustration did little to improve his mood.
"Hey Nicky," Catherine greeted. She was seated at the table looking over a case report and looked up when he entered the room. She glanced at the clock on the wall. "You're here early."
"Yeah, thought I'd pull some more overtime," he offered, coming over to join her. "I could say the same for you."
"Well, you know with Grissom out of commission there is tons of extra work to be done." She sighed and flipped the folder shut. "Who'd wanna be a supervisor anyway?"
Nick chuckled and sipped his coffee. Catherine looked over at him and eyed him up and down.
"You know, you're not looking so good Nick. Are you feeling okay?"
Nothing got past Catherine. He glanced up at her over the rim of his cup and nodded giving her a reassuring smile.
"I'm alright. Just overtired, couldn't sleep."
"Uh, oh," she teased with a kind smile. "Sounds like you're turning into Sara."
Nick laughed a little uneasily. "What makes you say that?"
"Well that's pretty much what her response was when I asked her why she got here so early," Catherine explained, finishing her own coffee. "Not that it's really out of the ordinary for her or anything."
"She's here?"
"Mm-hmm. Of course she is. Walked in about half an hour before you did." Catherine got up from the table and placed her empty mug in the sink. "Well I've got some lab techs to harass. See ya." She waved her fingers at him and left.
"Catch you later," Nick muttered distractedly.
Well great. He came in to work this early in hopes of being able to get Sara off his mind with work but she was here. But am I really all that surprised though, he asked himself. No, of course not. Obviously she would be here. This was the only place she ever seemed to be. Maybe subconsciously he had known that all along and that was the real reason why he had come in early in the first place.
With a heavy sigh he drained his coffee cup and washed it and Catherine's, placing them back in the cupboard. He ran a hand over his face and decided to try and get some work done.
Greg had his headphones on and was bopping away to his favorite hard rock band of the week as he worked. He had his back turned to the door and didn't hear or see Nick as the CSI entered the DNA lab. Nick smirked and waited until the lab tech stopped moving long enough to look at a reference book, then he leaned in close behind him. The music turned up so loud he was able to hear the song Greg was listening to, 'Diamonds and Guns' by Transplant.
"GREG," Nick shouted in his ear.
"Whaa!" The lab tech squealed in surprise and sent the textbook shooting off the other end of the desk to the floor. He whirled around and yanked his earphones off letting them dangle around his neck.
"Christ Nick!" he yelled, leaning on his desk as he tried to catch his breath. "Don't do that man! My heart can't take it."
Nick stopped laughing and realized that scaring the shit out of someone who had just recently survived an explosion may not have been the brightest of ideas. This whole Sara thing had him really out of it today.
"Aw, hey Greggo, I'm sorry. I'm such a dumb ass I wasn't even thinking about-" he indicated the scorched remains of the former lab across the hall. He felt really horrible when he noticed his friend's hands were visibly shaking. "I'm so sorry, are you okay man?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm alright," Greg assured, opening and closing his fists in front of him until the shakiness went away. "This comes and goes anyway, it's not your fault."
"But still, are you sure-?"
Greg nodded and waved his hand. "Bygones. Besides," he added, his little devil grin making an appearance. "I'll get you back later. I'll get you back good."
"Promises, promises," Nick teased, relieved that Greg was okay. The two men chuckled companionably.
Sara walked into the room her nose buried in a case folder.
"Hey Greg do you have those results for me yet?" She froze and stared when she saw Nick standing there. "What-what are you doing here?"
"Well you see I work here," he replied, his sarcastic tone colder than he had intended.
An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Nick and Sara stared each other down as Greg looked questioningly between the two of them from where he sat in his desk chair.
"Uh, guys, is everything-"
"Page me when you've got something," Sara cut him off, her eyes not leaving Nick's. She turned and left the room quickly. Nick shook his head, running a hand over his face.
"Okay what the hell was that?" Greg asked with his brow furrowed. He propped his feet on his desk and looked at Nick for an answer.
"I wish I knew," Nick replied. He hoisted himself up to sit on the counter and let out an exasperated sigh. "She's just being so damn stubborn! I mean obviously there is something is wrong, something is upsetting her and I only want to be able to help her out but she's just shutting me out as usual. It's so frustrating, I don't even know why I bother anymore."
"Because you're in love with her you fool," Greg said casually, picking his fingernails. He smiled smugly at the wide-eyed shocked look on Nick's face.
"Wh-what- who-I." He sputtered blinking rapidly. "Excuse me?!"
"You heard me," Greg said lightly, linking his fingers behind his head and rocking back in his chair.
Nick's mouth moved for a few seconds. "No I'm not," he finally managed.
"Yes. You are." Greg winked.
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"NO, I'm not!"
"Yes you are."
"No!"
"Yes."
"No I- ugh!" Nick growled, exasperated. "Stop being so childish! This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous. It's absolutely absurd that I would fall in love Sara; she's my friend, my coworker! It's-it's- it's inconceivable!"
"At the risk of sounding like Grissom, 'Thou doth protest too much me thinks.'"
Nick stared at Greg silently with a scowl and pouted, a bright pink blush spreading across his cheeks, making his ears glow. "Me thinks I'm going to kick your ass."
Greg flicked his fingers dismissively and sat up putting his feet back on the floor. "Now who's being childish? Look Nick it's not like it's something that you should be ashamed of man. Sara is a very hot, insanely smart, very hot, incredible lady who is very hot. There are tons of guys, yours truly included, who would kill to be in your shoes. Plus, you know she feels the same way."
Nick almost fell off the counter. "How the hell do you know that?" he demanded, Sara's earlier words drifting through his mind.
Greg gave him a look and rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. I'd have to be as dense as you not to notice."
"But I- Hey!" Nick pitched a box of rubber gloves at Greg who laughed and easily caught the projectile coming for his head. Nick started to laugh too.
"You know I'm right," Greg said pointing at his friend. "About both of you."
"Yeah," Nick allowed after a moment and nodded. "I guess I do."
"I can tell you one thing Stokes," Greg said becoming serious. "You'd be an idiot to let her get away."
Nick nodded again, lost in thought. He looked up at the younger man with a smirk.
"'Words of Wisdom' by Gregory Allen Sanders. Who'd have thought?"
"I would have. Hey, who told you my middle name?"
"I have my secrets too," Nick said with a grin, sliding off the counter.
"Oh, whatever," Greg replied, getting up to usher Nick out of the lab. "Alright off you go Romeo, go woo your lady fair. I've got work to do."
"You know you really do sound like Grissom," Nick teased over his shoulder as Greg continued to push him towards the door. He gripped the doorframe long enough to stop for a moment. "Thanks Greg."
"Yeah, yeah you can shower me with gifts later. Now scoot!" Greg landed a light kick to the seat of Nick's pants with the side of his foot. The door closed behind Nick and he turned to watch his friend replace his headphones and start dancing away again as he got back to work.
"I owe you one buddy," he said, a small smile touching the corners of his mouth. He went off to find Sara.
Sara stood on the roof of the building staring into the dying orange light of the rapidly sinking sun. The night was coming and more likely than not, it was bringing with it a new wave of crime to wash over the city of Las Vegas. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes as a light breeze stirred the air. She liked coming up here. Hardly anyone else ever did so it was a good place to clear her head.
Well, to try to anyway. She turned her head when she heard the door scrape open. When she saw who it was she rolled her eyes and turned back, taking a deep drag from her cigarette. Couldn't he just leave her alone?
"Hey Sara," Nick greeted quietly coming to stand behind her. "Been looking all over for you."
When she didn't reply he moved to lean beside her on the ledge that prevented them from tumbling to the parking four stories down, and clasped his hands in front of him.
"You're smoking," he stated worriedly.
She scoffed. "Nick Stokes, your keen powers of observation will never cease to amaze me. No wonder you are such a fantastic CSI."
"C'mon Sara, don't be like that," he pleaded, her icy sarcasm chastening him. "I'm just concerned is all. I thought you quit."
"Yeah I did," she replied, flicking the butt over the edge. "There, you happy?"
"No, I'm not," he said quietly, watching the cigarette float down to the pavement below, the glowing tip creating little fireworks when it hit the ground.
"I'm not happy about us being like this Sara," he continued when she didn't respond. "We used to be able to talk so easily but you've been so distant lately. And then earlier. Well needless to say that was a little out of character. I really wish you would tell me what's wrong."
There was a pause as the both stared silently at the sunset on the horizon.
"I wish I knew," she eventually said, her voice so small and quiet he could hardly hear her.
He turned his head to look at her questioningly, her profile lit by the golden light of the dying sun.
"What is wrong with me? Am I so repulsive that no one wants me?"
"Sara, that's ridiculous, what are you-" he began only to be cut off.
"Hank, Grissom," she finally turned to face him for the first time, unshed tears in her eyes. "You. You hurt a lot Nick."
He dropped his head not knowing how to respond.
"But all of you acted like." She looked away again and shook her head. "Then when I do something about it, thinking maybe, just maybe it will be different this time it blows up in my face. And I end up getting hurt. Again. And I am so fucking sick of it." She took in a deep shaky breath and wiped the corners of her eyes with the back of her finger.
"Sara I certainly never wanted to hurt you," Nick said, his voice gentle. "But to be fair you kinda took me by surprise."
"I know," she said, swallowing thickly and closing her eyes. "I know that and I'm sorry. I never should have done that to you."
"It's alright."
"No, no Nick it's not," she argued, turning her body to face him now. "I'm so ashamed and embarrassed. It was so stupid of me to admit my feelings to you like that. I'm sorry that it ever happened."
"Well, no, come on now," he stopped her, pushing off the ledge to stand up straight and face her. "There's nothing wrong with you admitting that you have feelings for me." A small smirk played at the corner of his mouth. "You may just want to consider a more subtle approach next time."
She couldn't help but laugh a little, covering her eyes with her hand and groaning. He was relieved to see a smile on her face again.
"But seriously," he continued. "Regardless of how it came about, I'm glad I know now."
"Why's that?" She hugged her arms over her chest, waiting for his answer.
"Because now I know I won't get decked in the face for doing this," he said stepping closer to her, holding onto her arms and gently pressing his lips to hers. He broke contact after a moment and sighed, pulling back to gauge her reaction.
Sara licked her lips nervously, his faint taste still lingering. "God Nick, please don't do that if you don't mean it," she begged softly, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders. Her eyes closed and tears finally escaped. "Because I don't think I could take it."
His hands moved up to cup the sides of her face. "Of course I mean it," he whispered, gently kissing her tears away. "I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it." And I've got a certain lab tech to thank for that, he thought.
A soft relieved sob escaped her and she leaned into him, crushing his mouth under hers. He took control of the kiss, slowing it down and stroking her soft cheeks with his thumbs. When they finally broke apart he wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest.
"I wish had told you how I felt earlier," he murmured against her hair, taking her scent in deeply. "It seems so simple now. But you had me pretty tongue tied . pardon the pun." She giggled, her face buried in his shirt.
"I mean I usually at least like to buy a girl dinner first," he continued to tease.
"Oh, stop!" she exclaimed laughing and punching his shoulder.
He chuckled and pulled her back against him. "You're a very special person Sara Sidle. You are well loved and respected and always needed by the people around you. Don't ever forget that."
"Thank you Nick," she whispered, tightening her arms around his waist. "I guess a girl just needs reminding every once in a while."
"Well I'm ready, willing and able," he said smiling and resting his forehead against hers. "How about we start with breakfast after shift?"
"Sounds good to me," she replied and kissed him again. "I'm really glad you're my friend Nick."
"Me too Sara," he murmured. "Me too."
THE END
Thump, thump.
Nick opened his eyes slowly. Something, some strange noise had woken him from a deep sleep. With a disgruntled groan he rolled from his stomach onto his back and raised his head, listening for the sound to try and figure out what the hell it was.
Thump, thump, thump.
There it was again. Someone was pounding on his front door. He looked over at the clock on his nightstand and cursed dropping his head back on his pillow. He had only been asleep a couple hours after having worked a load of overtime at the lab. The explosion had done a ton of damage and they only had a limited amount of time to restore as much of the evidence as possible before it was lost forever. He had to head back there for his scheduled shift in less than three hours. And now someone was trying to bang his door in, interrupting the precious little time he had to rest.
"Wonderful, that's just tremendous," he grumbled, scowling and throwing the covers off and getting out of his nice perfectly warm comfortable bed.
Thump, thump, thump, thump.
"Oh, I'm coming, I'm coming," he muttered at the persistent knocking, pulling on a pair of black sweat pants and padding out of his bedroom to the front of his house, yawning and scratching his bare chest. "Jesus Christ, hold your horses."
He reached the door, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked through the peephole, expecting to see some poor little innocent cookie-selling girl scouts about to receive his wrath.
"Sara?" He pulled the door open and squinting in the late afternoon sunlight looked at her questioningly. "Hey."
"Hey," she said back softly, taking in his tousled and half-dressed appearance. "I woke you, I'm sorry."
"Uh no, no it's okay." He shook himself, still trying to wake up and stepped aside to let her in. "What's up? Something wrong?"
She shook her head, walking in with her eyes trained on the floor. He closed the door and noticed that she had been crying.
"Sara, what happened?" he asked, concerned. He put a gentle hand on her arm, led her to the couch and sat beside her. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," she said thickly, shaking her head. "Nothing, I just. I've just had kind of a rough day. well actually couple of days, and I." she trailed off.
"I just didn't know where else to go." She finally looked up at him and her eyes moistened.
"Aw, Sar, come here," Nick said pulling her into his arms and she began to cry quietly. He rubbed her back, whispering soothing words in her ear. "It's okay, it's okay. Shh, it's alright darlin', everything's gonna be okay. Hush now, it's alright."
In his mind he wondered what had happened to set this off. He had never seen Sara cry, ever, and they had had some pretty awful cases, seen terrible things. She kept her emotions well hidden, even from him. This was very unlike the strong independent woman he knew, the woman who had become his best friend. And he really didn't like it.
"I'm sorry Nick," she said eventually when her tears had run dry. She stayed in his embrace, her arms around his waist and her head on his shoulder.
"Hey, it's okay," he assured her, resting his chin on the top of her head and stroking her silky hair. "You wanna tell me what's going on? There something you want to talk about?"
She tensed slightly and paused, then shook her head. "No, not really."
Nick nodded and complied with her wishes, just holding her in his arms patiently and not pushing any further.
Sara was thinking about her conversation with Grissom, running it through her head. His outright refusal to even go out for dinner, his complete dismissal of her had broken her heart and left her feeling even more rejected and unwanted than her breakup with Hank already had. She debated talking to Nick about it then completely decided against it. The fewer people who knew about that embarrassing incident the better; it had been humiliating enough the first time around and she never wanted to even think about it again. Grissom was gone today, dealing with a family emergency or something so at least she had a few days to get her head back. But being around him the week leading up to his leave had been incredibly awkward and stressful for her.
So that, plus the explosion plus the train-wreck that was her love life had all piled up and now she just wanted a shoulder to cry on. Nick's shoulder more specifically.
She remembered the day they met, now nearly three years ago. Fresh off a plane from San Francisco, she had made her way immediately to meet with Grissom at his crime scene. They had been discussing the case when Nick had come down from the roof of the hotel where he had been tossing dummies, trying to brush the Meyer's dust off his clothes. Upon seeing her he offered his hand, a warm welcome and a bright Texan smile that had immediately caught her attention and attraction and Sara found herself instantly drawn to him. The two young CSIs had hit it off right away as friends who teased and flirted shamelessly. But it was only recently that she had come to look at Nick in a different way, and she found herself wishing that they were more than just close friends.
She buried her face into his neck, breathing his comforting masculine scent in deeply. He had that warm clean yet slightly musky, fresh out of bed smell and she couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be completely surrounded by it. Sleeping in his bed beside him instead of lying awake and lonely in her own. She shifted a bit closer to him on the couch.
"I'm just so tired of it," she finally murmured, her lips brushing the tender sensitive skin of his throat. He shivered a bit in response to that, trying to push a sudden wave of emotions and the surge of raging hormones aside.
"Of what?" he asked hoarsely, now beginning to see where this was going to lead. Her fingers had started stroking light seductive patterns on his side that left his skin burning in their wake and she was pressing her warm supple body against him.
"Being alone," Sara replied, trailing one hand around to run over his chiseled abs and up to his firm chest. She planted soft scorching kisses up the strong column of his neck to behind his ear. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard, suppressing a groan.
"I don't want to be alone anymore," she whispered, her wandering hand moving to the back of his neck to play in his short hair. "Do you Nicky?"
Sara was well aware of Nick's playboy reputation. She also saw the way he looked at her and was quite willing to take advantage of that, even just once, just to escape and make all that was going on in her life temporarily disappear.
Nick was frozen solid unable to move, speak or have a rational thought go through his head. Sara's lips traveled down his jaw line rasping against his stubble. Reaching the corner of his mouth her tongue darted out for a quick taste. She kissed his bottom lip tenderly then the top one before pressing her mouth squarely against his. He sat there completely taken off guard as she began to kiss him ardently. How long had he dreamed of this happening but had absolutely no idea or any real expectations that she would reciprocate his attraction to her at all. He wasn't blind. Nick knew what a beautiful woman Sara was he just never figured he was her type. Apparently he was wrong since here she was, practically in his lap and kissing him with rising passion, nipping and tugging at his lips with hers. Some nether region of his mind actually began to compute what was happening and his conscience told him something wasn't right about this. As much as his body was aching to take advantage of the situation his heart couldn't.
"Sara," he started but was silenced when her tongue pushed its way into his mouth and tangled with his.
He groaned and she moaned softly, her hands traveling all over him, appreciating the hard muscles and the way they moved and flexed under his warm smooth skin. She pushed him against the back of the couch and climbed up to straddle his hips and his hands automatically went to her waist on their own accord, gripping tightly. He gave himself a mental kick in the head; this was getting way out of hand and had to stop before he lost all control of himself and they both ended up doing something that they regretted.
"Sara, wait, please," he started, pulling his mouth away from hers. She paid no attention, moving to kiss the sensitive spots on his neck again then finding her way to his earlobe and pulling it into her mouth. She traced the shell of his ear with the tip of her tongue before dipping it inside and Nick temporarily lost all ability to speak. Her nimble roaming fingers made their way down his abs to the waistband of his sweats.
"Whoa," he managed to croak breathlessly, catching her wrists on his hands. "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sara, stop." He pushed her away gently, but firmly. "Stop. Slow down."
"What's wrong Nick?" she said grinning. Her voice was low and breathy and incredibly seductive. "Never figured you for a guy who would turn down an opportunity like this."
She leaned forward to try and kiss him again but he brought his hands up to her shoulders.
"Sara, I'm serious," he said holding her away from him. She searched his eyes and her smile slowly faded, a heartbroken frown taking its place. Quickly she scrambled off him and stood.
"I'm-I'm sorry," she mumbled stumbling backwards, studiously avoiding his gaze as she made her way to the door. "I shouldn't have come over."
"Hey, Sara hang on, wait."
Nick got up shakily and went after her. He put his hand on her shoulder and turned her to face him. "Don't you think we should talk about what just happened here?"
"No," she said, adamantly shaking her head. "Please, Nick let's just forget this ever happened, okay?"
"Uh-uh. No way, not a chance," he replied sternly. "Jesus, Sara you can't just come to my house, crawl into my lap and start kissing me and then expect me to pretend it was nothing. I don't think so. I don't think I'm being unreasonable when I ask for some sort of explanation here."
"Look, Nick it was just an extremely bad error in judgment on my part, okay? Call it a momentary lapse of reason. Let's just leave it at that." She turned away and started to open the door, but his hand shot out over her shoulder, slamming it shut again. Sara jumped, startled and she turned back to face him.
"Damn it Sara, I will not leave it at that," he told her starting to loose his patience. He was still leaning on the door, his arm trapping her between the wall, the door and his body. "And I am not letting you just walk away from this until you tell me what that was all about. What the hell is going on with you?"
They stared at each other intensely each stubbornly hoping the other would give in. Finally Sara was the first to look away. When she eventually spoke her voice was small.
"I just thought. I thought that was what you wanted." She bit her lip and tears pooled in her eyes but didn't fall. "The way you've been acting around me lately I thought that maybe you wanted me. the way I've been wanting you."
Nick just stared at her, totally shocked and speechless once again. He stood back a little letting his arm slip from the door.
"Sara. I." His mouth moved but he couldn't form any words. When he didn't say anything anger and hurt registered on her face.
"Obviously I was wrong," she uttered through clenched teeth, her unshed tears splashing onto her cheeks. Suddenly she shoved him backwards and he staggered back a few steps.
"No Sara, wait," he began desperately. But before he had the chance to try explain or do anything she was gone, the door slamming behind her.
Nick entered the break-room, went directly to the cupboard and got a mug, dumping in a couple spoonfuls of sugar and filling it nearly to the brim with coffee. After his little 'incident' with Sara he had tried going back to bed but of course sleep was out of the question. Eventually he had given up tossing and turning between his sheets, showered and dressed and made his way back to the crime lab.
On his way he had tried calling her but as soon as she had heard his voice she had hung up on him. He had redialed twice but she had just let her phone ring and ring until he had given up. This frustration did little to improve his mood.
"Hey Nicky," Catherine greeted. She was seated at the table looking over a case report and looked up when he entered the room. She glanced at the clock on the wall. "You're here early."
"Yeah, thought I'd pull some more overtime," he offered, coming over to join her. "I could say the same for you."
"Well, you know with Grissom out of commission there is tons of extra work to be done." She sighed and flipped the folder shut. "Who'd wanna be a supervisor anyway?"
Nick chuckled and sipped his coffee. Catherine looked over at him and eyed him up and down.
"You know, you're not looking so good Nick. Are you feeling okay?"
Nothing got past Catherine. He glanced up at her over the rim of his cup and nodded giving her a reassuring smile.
"I'm alright. Just overtired, couldn't sleep."
"Uh, oh," she teased with a kind smile. "Sounds like you're turning into Sara."
Nick laughed a little uneasily. "What makes you say that?"
"Well that's pretty much what her response was when I asked her why she got here so early," Catherine explained, finishing her own coffee. "Not that it's really out of the ordinary for her or anything."
"She's here?"
"Mm-hmm. Of course she is. Walked in about half an hour before you did." Catherine got up from the table and placed her empty mug in the sink. "Well I've got some lab techs to harass. See ya." She waved her fingers at him and left.
"Catch you later," Nick muttered distractedly.
Well great. He came in to work this early in hopes of being able to get Sara off his mind with work but she was here. But am I really all that surprised though, he asked himself. No, of course not. Obviously she would be here. This was the only place she ever seemed to be. Maybe subconsciously he had known that all along and that was the real reason why he had come in early in the first place.
With a heavy sigh he drained his coffee cup and washed it and Catherine's, placing them back in the cupboard. He ran a hand over his face and decided to try and get some work done.
Greg had his headphones on and was bopping away to his favorite hard rock band of the week as he worked. He had his back turned to the door and didn't hear or see Nick as the CSI entered the DNA lab. Nick smirked and waited until the lab tech stopped moving long enough to look at a reference book, then he leaned in close behind him. The music turned up so loud he was able to hear the song Greg was listening to, 'Diamonds and Guns' by Transplant.
"GREG," Nick shouted in his ear.
"Whaa!" The lab tech squealed in surprise and sent the textbook shooting off the other end of the desk to the floor. He whirled around and yanked his earphones off letting them dangle around his neck.
"Christ Nick!" he yelled, leaning on his desk as he tried to catch his breath. "Don't do that man! My heart can't take it."
Nick stopped laughing and realized that scaring the shit out of someone who had just recently survived an explosion may not have been the brightest of ideas. This whole Sara thing had him really out of it today.
"Aw, hey Greggo, I'm sorry. I'm such a dumb ass I wasn't even thinking about-" he indicated the scorched remains of the former lab across the hall. He felt really horrible when he noticed his friend's hands were visibly shaking. "I'm so sorry, are you okay man?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm alright," Greg assured, opening and closing his fists in front of him until the shakiness went away. "This comes and goes anyway, it's not your fault."
"But still, are you sure-?"
Greg nodded and waved his hand. "Bygones. Besides," he added, his little devil grin making an appearance. "I'll get you back later. I'll get you back good."
"Promises, promises," Nick teased, relieved that Greg was okay. The two men chuckled companionably.
Sara walked into the room her nose buried in a case folder.
"Hey Greg do you have those results for me yet?" She froze and stared when she saw Nick standing there. "What-what are you doing here?"
"Well you see I work here," he replied, his sarcastic tone colder than he had intended.
An uncomfortable silence filled the room. Nick and Sara stared each other down as Greg looked questioningly between the two of them from where he sat in his desk chair.
"Uh, guys, is everything-"
"Page me when you've got something," Sara cut him off, her eyes not leaving Nick's. She turned and left the room quickly. Nick shook his head, running a hand over his face.
"Okay what the hell was that?" Greg asked with his brow furrowed. He propped his feet on his desk and looked at Nick for an answer.
"I wish I knew," Nick replied. He hoisted himself up to sit on the counter and let out an exasperated sigh. "She's just being so damn stubborn! I mean obviously there is something is wrong, something is upsetting her and I only want to be able to help her out but she's just shutting me out as usual. It's so frustrating, I don't even know why I bother anymore."
"Because you're in love with her you fool," Greg said casually, picking his fingernails. He smiled smugly at the wide-eyed shocked look on Nick's face.
"Wh-what- who-I." He sputtered blinking rapidly. "Excuse me?!"
"You heard me," Greg said lightly, linking his fingers behind his head and rocking back in his chair.
Nick's mouth moved for a few seconds. "No I'm not," he finally managed.
"Yes. You are." Greg winked.
"No, I'm not."
"Yes, you are."
"NO, I'm not!"
"Yes you are."
"No!"
"Yes."
"No I- ugh!" Nick growled, exasperated. "Stop being so childish! This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous. It's absolutely absurd that I would fall in love Sara; she's my friend, my coworker! It's-it's- it's inconceivable!"
"At the risk of sounding like Grissom, 'Thou doth protest too much me thinks.'"
Nick stared at Greg silently with a scowl and pouted, a bright pink blush spreading across his cheeks, making his ears glow. "Me thinks I'm going to kick your ass."
Greg flicked his fingers dismissively and sat up putting his feet back on the floor. "Now who's being childish? Look Nick it's not like it's something that you should be ashamed of man. Sara is a very hot, insanely smart, very hot, incredible lady who is very hot. There are tons of guys, yours truly included, who would kill to be in your shoes. Plus, you know she feels the same way."
Nick almost fell off the counter. "How the hell do you know that?" he demanded, Sara's earlier words drifting through his mind.
Greg gave him a look and rolled his eyes. "Oh, please. I'd have to be as dense as you not to notice."
"But I- Hey!" Nick pitched a box of rubber gloves at Greg who laughed and easily caught the projectile coming for his head. Nick started to laugh too.
"You know I'm right," Greg said pointing at his friend. "About both of you."
"Yeah," Nick allowed after a moment and nodded. "I guess I do."
"I can tell you one thing Stokes," Greg said becoming serious. "You'd be an idiot to let her get away."
Nick nodded again, lost in thought. He looked up at the younger man with a smirk.
"'Words of Wisdom' by Gregory Allen Sanders. Who'd have thought?"
"I would have. Hey, who told you my middle name?"
"I have my secrets too," Nick said with a grin, sliding off the counter.
"Oh, whatever," Greg replied, getting up to usher Nick out of the lab. "Alright off you go Romeo, go woo your lady fair. I've got work to do."
"You know you really do sound like Grissom," Nick teased over his shoulder as Greg continued to push him towards the door. He gripped the doorframe long enough to stop for a moment. "Thanks Greg."
"Yeah, yeah you can shower me with gifts later. Now scoot!" Greg landed a light kick to the seat of Nick's pants with the side of his foot. The door closed behind Nick and he turned to watch his friend replace his headphones and start dancing away again as he got back to work.
"I owe you one buddy," he said, a small smile touching the corners of his mouth. He went off to find Sara.
Sara stood on the roof of the building staring into the dying orange light of the rapidly sinking sun. The night was coming and more likely than not, it was bringing with it a new wave of crime to wash over the city of Las Vegas. She sighed deeply and closed her eyes as a light breeze stirred the air. She liked coming up here. Hardly anyone else ever did so it was a good place to clear her head.
Well, to try to anyway. She turned her head when she heard the door scrape open. When she saw who it was she rolled her eyes and turned back, taking a deep drag from her cigarette. Couldn't he just leave her alone?
"Hey Sara," Nick greeted quietly coming to stand behind her. "Been looking all over for you."
When she didn't reply he moved to lean beside her on the ledge that prevented them from tumbling to the parking four stories down, and clasped his hands in front of him.
"You're smoking," he stated worriedly.
She scoffed. "Nick Stokes, your keen powers of observation will never cease to amaze me. No wonder you are such a fantastic CSI."
"C'mon Sara, don't be like that," he pleaded, her icy sarcasm chastening him. "I'm just concerned is all. I thought you quit."
"Yeah I did," she replied, flicking the butt over the edge. "There, you happy?"
"No, I'm not," he said quietly, watching the cigarette float down to the pavement below, the glowing tip creating little fireworks when it hit the ground.
"I'm not happy about us being like this Sara," he continued when she didn't respond. "We used to be able to talk so easily but you've been so distant lately. And then earlier. Well needless to say that was a little out of character. I really wish you would tell me what's wrong."
There was a pause as the both stared silently at the sunset on the horizon.
"I wish I knew," she eventually said, her voice so small and quiet he could hardly hear her.
He turned his head to look at her questioningly, her profile lit by the golden light of the dying sun.
"What is wrong with me? Am I so repulsive that no one wants me?"
"Sara, that's ridiculous, what are you-" he began only to be cut off.
"Hank, Grissom," she finally turned to face him for the first time, unshed tears in her eyes. "You. You hurt a lot Nick."
He dropped his head not knowing how to respond.
"But all of you acted like." She looked away again and shook her head. "Then when I do something about it, thinking maybe, just maybe it will be different this time it blows up in my face. And I end up getting hurt. Again. And I am so fucking sick of it." She took in a deep shaky breath and wiped the corners of her eyes with the back of her finger.
"Sara I certainly never wanted to hurt you," Nick said, his voice gentle. "But to be fair you kinda took me by surprise."
"I know," she said, swallowing thickly and closing her eyes. "I know that and I'm sorry. I never should have done that to you."
"It's alright."
"No, no Nick it's not," she argued, turning her body to face him now. "I'm so ashamed and embarrassed. It was so stupid of me to admit my feelings to you like that. I'm sorry that it ever happened."
"Well, no, come on now," he stopped her, pushing off the ledge to stand up straight and face her. "There's nothing wrong with you admitting that you have feelings for me." A small smirk played at the corner of his mouth. "You may just want to consider a more subtle approach next time."
She couldn't help but laugh a little, covering her eyes with her hand and groaning. He was relieved to see a smile on her face again.
"But seriously," he continued. "Regardless of how it came about, I'm glad I know now."
"Why's that?" She hugged her arms over her chest, waiting for his answer.
"Because now I know I won't get decked in the face for doing this," he said stepping closer to her, holding onto her arms and gently pressing his lips to hers. He broke contact after a moment and sighed, pulling back to gauge her reaction.
Sara licked her lips nervously, his faint taste still lingering. "God Nick, please don't do that if you don't mean it," she begged softly, her hands resting lightly on his shoulders. Her eyes closed and tears finally escaped. "Because I don't think I could take it."
His hands moved up to cup the sides of her face. "Of course I mean it," he whispered, gently kissing her tears away. "I'm just sorry it took me so long to realize it." And I've got a certain lab tech to thank for that, he thought.
A soft relieved sob escaped her and she leaned into him, crushing his mouth under hers. He took control of the kiss, slowing it down and stroking her soft cheeks with his thumbs. When they finally broke apart he wrapped his arms around her and she rested her head on his chest.
"I wish had told you how I felt earlier," he murmured against her hair, taking her scent in deeply. "It seems so simple now. But you had me pretty tongue tied . pardon the pun." She giggled, her face buried in his shirt.
"I mean I usually at least like to buy a girl dinner first," he continued to tease.
"Oh, stop!" she exclaimed laughing and punching his shoulder.
He chuckled and pulled her back against him. "You're a very special person Sara Sidle. You are well loved and respected and always needed by the people around you. Don't ever forget that."
"Thank you Nick," she whispered, tightening her arms around his waist. "I guess a girl just needs reminding every once in a while."
"Well I'm ready, willing and able," he said smiling and resting his forehead against hers. "How about we start with breakfast after shift?"
"Sounds good to me," she replied and kissed him again. "I'm really glad you're my friend Nick."
"Me too Sara," he murmured. "Me too."
THE END