The Morning After
Waking Up to a Beautiful Day
By Pat Squared

Disclaimer – I do not own Naruto. If I did, Sasuke would be a prison whore and Sakura a yaoi-fangirl/dominatrix whose job is to keep Sasuke in line by pimping him out

Now on to our story

It was official. Today was a great day for the hidden village in the leaf.

Using, his trademarked therapy talk no jutsu, Naruto managed to defeat the Akatsuki. There is peace in the elemental nations.

Uchia Sasuke was captured and being subjected to Ibiki's version of therapy no jutsu along with happy pills that made Naruto look as energetic as the laziest member of the Nara Clan.

Sai found out that his mother was an Uchiha chunin, thought killed in action, but actually captured by Danzo's Root Anbu. Normally the was emotionless. Nevertheless, after finding out that daddy raped and killed mama, the former Root agent threw off a decade and a half of psychological conditioning. Sai gained the sharigan eyes, and placed his biological father, Danzo, into a permanent nightmare. Danzo now believed that he was six years old and stuck on the set of Barney the Purple Pedophile Dinosaur with a whole buch of Ochomaru's chasing after his anal virginity. Sai was now an Anbu captain, head of Ne (Root), became an internationally renown artist, and rumored to be dating Ino.

Kakashi got his daily Icha-Icha fix. The elite jonin was currently wandering aimlessly around the village giggling to himself while reading the orange covered book aloud to all the children. Tonight, a lot of parents would have to give their kids the talk.

Iruka and Anko got hitched and now were surround by a bunch of toddlers and snakes trying to keep three pranking kids in line.

Hyuga Haishi, finally got fed up with the whining of the elders of the Hyuga clan. After hearing the thousandth complain about Naruto dating his daughter, Haishi smacked down the elders and place the Bird Cage Seal on their foreheads. Now, they could not abuse the seal to force the Branch Hyuga to do their bidding since elders would be the first ones to have their brains melt.

Neji and Tenten announced their engagement. Normally it was take half a decade, but due to the fact that Tenten would soon be sporting a baby bump caused the couple to speed up wedding arrangements. Gai-sensei ran around the village screaming about the springtime of youthfulness until Tsunade knocked him out and handed a team of newly-graduated genin the A-ranked mission of waxing those caterpillar eyebrows.

Rock and Sakura Lee, nee Haruno, had twin girls. Thankfully, the twins did not inherit their father's bushy brows and preference for green spandex. Instead, the twins had their mother's large forehead, radioactive pink hair, temper, mean right hook, and the ability to out-scream any harpy when they did not get their way.

Hyuga Hinita and Uzumaki Naruto, future hokage, had just tied the knot in the biggest wedding in three generations. The pair were well on their way to reviving the Uzumaki clan as Hinita was already sporting the six-month baby bump and was already talking about expanding the nursery to accommodate the twenty kids she planned of having.

The latest chunin exams had concluded. Even though the exams were held at the Grass village, the genin teams from Konohagakure dominated the exams. Udon, Moegi, Hanabi, and Konohamuru all earned their chunin vest.

All was well until a scream sounded throughout the inn located one day away from the Village Hidden in the Leaves. It seems that someone was not having a good day.

Konohamaru woke up and hit his head on something hard.

By the gods, it was hard. The blow was harder than the last time he called Tsunade the old, shrivel tit hag. It was harder than the last time he head-butted that boulder on a dare. It was harder than the last round of the chunin exam. It was harder than any straight man's…firefighting apparatus at the sight of the infamous harem no jutsu.

There suddenly was a number of rapid blows and the newly promoted chunin fell back into bed every part of him limp save for his firefighting apparatus. The reason why…he got to see the gates of paradise…he got to see the girl who just made chunin with him. He got to see what every guy in his academy class would trade his balls to see. He saw Hyuga Hanabi in her birthday suit.

The memories of last night…the hangover did make it hard to recall exactly what happened. But by the stickiness of his little Konohamaru and the leaking, pinkish fluid out of Hanabi's womanhood…the pair had just celebrated their promotion by cashing in their virginity.

The males of the Sarutobi family had a curse. Once puberty hit, they were perverts.

Not just any run-of-the-mill perverts. Sarutobi clan were the original Super Perverts.

The infamous Toad Sage and author of the Icha-Icha series, Jaraiya, learned the arts of perversion from the feet of his old master, the Third Hogake, Hiruzen Sarutobi. Even though Konohamaru was stilling undergoing the transformation from boy to pervert, he was perverted enough to have a stream of blood shoot out his nose. The blood loss did not do anything to improve his mental processes.

"God damn, mother fucking, ass licking, shit eating, bottom boy," Hanabi yelled as she looked for her clothes.

Hangovers are bad enough. Hangovers while trying to activate the byakugan would make Anko's physical tortures feel like a relaxing day at the hot springs. Hanabi gritted her teeth in pain. Looking down, she saw her underwear, her outfit, and a second chakra source just below her belly.

Her first instinct was to deny the fact that the sex she had last night knocked her up. She looked again praying that it was an illusion. However, the all-seeing eyes of the Hyuga clan confirmed the fact that she was pregnant. Now she was at stage two...rage.

Hyuga were known for keeping their emotions on a tight leash. Thus, when something sets off a Hyuga, it is not just the rage from this incident but a lifetime of rage being let go. This was bad news for the father of her baby.

"No fucking way! Fuck you, Konohamaru. You son of a bitch. Haven't you thought of a fucking condom. You son of a mangy bitch! Look what you did!"

The veins around her eyes were about to explode. This was not supposed to happen to her. She was the perfect one. She was the perfect daughter. She never disappointed her family. She was the one to make chunin on her first exam. She did what her father, Neji, or Hinata failed to do. She was supposed to be the next head of the clan. She had her life mapped out with the due dates. She was supposed to make jonin, find a suitable consort, become head of the clan, and only then have the heir and the spare.

Now all she had to look forward to was a year and a half of maternity leave. And when she came back, they will put her on D-ranked missions until her kid was old enough to enter school.

Unlike other professions where mothers could return to work soon after having a baby, it took a while for a woman's chakra pathways to recover after giving birth. Then there was the time-consuming process getting back into shape. Even if someone else took care of the kids, it would now take five years for her to even think of entering the jonin exams. Her original plan was to take them in two years.

"What?" replied a groggy Konohamaru.

Getting hit in the head and trying to come to terms of getting lucky with Konoha's lastest reincarnation of the Ice Princess had stupidfied the mind of the young boy. He was only fourteen. Prior to whatever happened last night, his only action involved a copy of Icha-Icha, a box of Kleenex, Madame Palms and her five fillys. It was understandable for the boy to not being able to remember his name, let alone what was going through the mind of the hysterical, 13-year-old girl.

"You knock me up, you…you"

It seemed that the Hyuga heir's swearing ability was slipping away.

Konohamaru wondered what 'knock me up' meant. He closed his eyes. Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed him and shook him violently. Then a series of blows rained down on his head. If one did not know better it would sound like pink-haired Haruno Sakura was giving Naruto the beat down while shrieking like the harpy all Haruno females descended from.

"Don't you dare…Don't you dare go to sleep on me. I am not going to explain this to father on my own," screamed Hanabi.

"Huh!"

"You are going to be a father in nine months, mister."

The realization of what just happen struck the boy.

Konohamaru did what any man would do in the same situation.

The grandson of the Third Hokage knew exactly what old man Hyuga would do to any man who knocked up the little ice princess of the Hyuga clan. It was time to go missing nin and make a run for it.

Konohamaru jumped up, ran out of the motel room naked, screamed for mercy like a little boy, and ran right into the wall, knocking himself out.

Hanabi looked at the father of her child and prayed to all the gods there were that her child would not take after the father. She took a deep breath.

Having a baby would be easy…the hard part would be dealing with the fathers.

Hanabi shuddered as she reached out into the hallway and dragged Konohamaru back into the motel room. They were going to have a talk…