Author's note: thanks for joining me in my new Sailor Moon story. I really appreciate reviews and always reply to them (my thanks in advance to guests) so please leave me your comments and thoughts. - Bex

Chapter 1

The black of his eyes bored into her shaken and beaten body. She felt the defeat and hopelessness wash over her, penetrating her very soul, just like the unwavering eyes staring lifelessly at her. The light of the Moon was fading inside her. The shine of the Legendary Silver Crystal was getting duller with each blow. She raised her deep blue eyes to the man she loved and heard the words in that unfamiliar voice that hardened her resolve. She had no choice anymore.

"It's no use!" he snarled, taunting her as he came forward. "You can never defeat me."

She looked at him through tear filled eyes, the horror seeped in every pore of her. How can I bring back the man he was? I must defeat Queen Metalia, but to do that I have to get the Legendary Silver Crystal power from his body. It was no good. She knew the outcome before she acted on it. Queen Beryl's words echoed round her head, tormenting her with the possibility that this was not in fact the man she loved anymore.

I heard you sent the power of the Legendary Silver Crystal into his body when he was at death's door. But it was no use. He died! Queen Beryl had laughed in her face, relishing in the princess's grief.

She screamed. She screamed so loud that Queen Beryl's words were shocked out of her head. The vibrations of her screams shook the very Earth they stood on, filled the void they were sucked into, resonating Tuxedo Mask and the Legendary Silver Crystal with her confused and torn heart. In her despair, the vision of Queen Serenity took hold of her. The once mighty and graceful Lunarian Queen stood before her daughter and time stood still.

"Only you have the ability," Queen Serenity reminded her. "You are a princess and the guardian of justice, Sailor Moon! Have confidence and pride in these facts!"

Sailor Moon opened her eyes, the light of the energy forming in Tuxedo Mask's hands almost blinding her. She couldn't take any more. She can't see him like this anymore. Her Prince Endymion broken by the Dark Kingdom. It was the only option to set him free. Her fingers curled around the hilt of sword of the silver crystal that lay at her side on the floor where she was kneeling. Her face hardened as she raced forward with the sword, the blade easily sliding into the gut of the brainwashed prince like he was butter.

His eyes opened, the black gone, the deep blue of his irises penetrated her own cerulean blue ones once again. She smiled at him sadly, the recognition of lost love bittersweet. She kissed him longingly, her hand at his jawline, grasping him to her as she kept her grip on the hilt of the sword. She pulled back to watch his eyes shutter down and the lights went out. Numbingly, she pulled the sword from his body and she twisted it round, plunging it into her torso and the Moon's shine went out.

"NO!" the cries of the sailor soldiers were the last thing she heard.

Serena shot up in bed. Her curtains were open, and the moonlight streamed through her window over her bed where she lay. She worked to slow her breathing and calm her heart. She rubbed her eyes and smiled in relief when she saw that Luna was curled up in a ball at the end of her bed, still fast asleep. She'd woken her guardian cat on too many occasions with her nightmares. The same one she'd had for the past five months. It didn't get any easier, no matter how much time passed. She and her sailor guardians were all reborn following the traumatic battle with the Dark Kingdom, and so was Darien. Luna had the ability to reawaken the solar system's guardians but the same couldn't be accomplished for the Earth Prince. Serena held on to hope that they'd find their way back to each other. It was killing her that he was so close but so far away from her, all at the same time.

"Sun… Moon… Stars," the Shinto priestess chanted in front of the flickering flames.

Her eyes were closed, and little beads of sweat were at her brow as she meditated. She was so lost in her concentration that she didn't notice the time pass her by. She felt her mind calm and the peace wash through her as she detected no sign of evil in the Azabu-Juban district. Her vibrant violet eyes opened to the sight of the great fire roaring in front of her. This was the sight she saw every single day at this time. She'd fallen into an obsessive pattern, scanning the district for signs of unwelcome distress but there had only been minor things the last few months.

It had been a hard time for all of them since they were reborn for the second time on Earth. Following their battle with Queen Metalia of the Dark Kingdom and the devastation that was left behind, it took some rebuilding for them. There had been a short window of time when Mina, Lita, Amy and herself had lived as regular girls, but Serena had been forced to remember all that happened sooner than they. She wasn't alone for long until Luna had helped them to remember, too and support Serena as they always had. The problem was that things were different than in the time of their first reincarnation. Their powers were stronger, and it took a lot of getting used to. They realised that they needed to spend time training to harness their powers to always be at their strongest, to never feel weak in front of an enemy again.

Yet, Raye was struggling. She spent more time in front of the great fire, perfecting the art of pyromancy, watching over the people in the district than she did practicing her powers over the element of fire. She was sure the girls hadn't noticed her hesitancy to use it. She didn't like the feel, or even the sight, of fire in her hands. The last time she'd yielded it as such in a fight, she'd killed the one person she'd once loved in a past life.

Her eyes flickered to the side table a safe distance away from the fire. She reached over and picked up the phone, right as it rang in her hand. This had happened for the past three months, just like clockwork. She knew that on the other end of the phone would be Serena. At first, she'd yelled at the blonde for calling bang on midnight, but over time, she realised her friend just needed someone to talk to. Sometimes conversation was serious, other times it was light-hearted and there have been occasion where they just sat in silence, comforted by the knowledge that the other was on the end of the line. Each of the girls struggled in different ways, and this was Serena's.

"Hey, Serena," Raye greeted her down the line.

"Is this a bad time?" she asked.

Serena asked this every night, but Raye didn't comment on the repetitive reply anymore. The first month, Raye had initially exploded, responding that midnight was not in fact a good time. However, eventually she found her own default reply.

"Always, but I just finished meditating," Raye told her then added, "Grandpa is asleep."

"Great," Serena replied. Raye knew she was smiling down the phone. "Are we still on for study buddies tomorrow at your place?"

"Yep," the raven-haired miko returned. "I believe Amy wants to look at trigonometry again."

"I hope you're joking," Serena cringed. "I hate maths!"

"We know," Raye smiled wryly, "that's why Amy insists on it."

There was a pause down the line.

"I saw Darien today with Andrew," Serena murmured quietly.

Raye recognised the sadness in her voice, and she pictured in her mind, Serena's head bowed, her eyes sombre. Sometimes she talked about Darien, other times he wouldn't be mentioned. In those moments, Raye felt that Serena worked extra hard to be her usual bubbly and silly self.

"That's a good thing, Serena."

"I know that," she admitted. "He seems… okay and I feel bad that I don't feel good about that. I just feel like he's living a lie."

"This is better than the alternative, as you well know," Raye reminded her.

Serena blinked away the memory. Her nightmare was enough of a reminder of the alternative.

"It's just when he speaks to me, I don't feel like he's talking to the real me," Serena revealed.

"I know, Sere," Raye said gently. "He'll come back to you. Queen Serenity wouldn't have brought us here if you were fated to be doomed."

"Raye, I just miss him so much," Serena sighed, a wobble noticeable in her voice.

Raye heard her sit back, from where she presumed was, in her room. She had the sudden vision of the grey eyes of Jadeite and she knew exactly how she felt.

"We know," Raye said gently.

"I'm – I'm so sorry," Serena voiced suddenly. "It just scares me, you know, what he might have to go through to come back to me. And what if he doesn't want to?"

"He already came back to you once before," Raye reminded her. "I want you to remember that. Darien did all of this for you." Raye paused, letting Serena take her words in. "Everything that man has ever done has been to protect you. He fought so hard against the Dark Kingdom and he would do it many lifetimes over."

Serena had tears in her eyes and Raye heard the distinctive sound of sniffing. Serena felt the weight of sadness push her shoulders down, take hold of her heart.

"Hey, could you just…" Serena swallowed, "stay on the phone with me for, like, five more minutes? Then I promise we'll both go to sleep."

"Yeah, sure," Raye accepted the favour. "We can talk all night if you want to."

Serena nodded, closing her eyes, the tears falling down her cheeks as she did so. Raye felt for her, as did the rest of the girls. They each understood loss and felt it deeply. It was perhaps harder when you were the reason why you had the loss. Raye sat with her ear to the phone and she held her hand out, palm up. She opened her fingers and a little ball of fire flickered against her skin. In this ball of fire, clear as a reflection in a mirror, was the image of Jadeite before he died. She had never had a hand in the death of someone she loved but it was a numbing feeling to see it every time she embraced her true nature as Sailor Mars, the guardian of love and passion, the soldier of war. Love didn't have a place in her heart.