Remnant's Mightiest Heroes!
Interlude: Deadpool's Delete it or Don't
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Hey, readers what's up? It's me! Deadpool! The Merc with a Mouth, the regenerating degenerate, and the crimson comedian!
Of course, that last thing is dependent on the writer being able to make jokes. I think I speak for everyone when I say this… the Chibi chapters aren't funny! Hello! Earth to I Am The Prophet! Where did you get your comedy? There's a limit to how low unfunny can get! I'm surprised that nobody is asking you to take this fic down! I mean, why the hell do people like this fic so much? Not that I'm complaining.
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Anyway…you're all probably wondering why I am speaking without my name being censored like my Freddy Krueger face in my first ever movie. That's because the mighty Prophet has decided to take a break and allow me to take over this chapter! And I got a few scenes that Prophet here forgot or was too lazy to write in this FanFic. Yep. You guessed it. We are doing deleted scenes!
Welcome to Deadpool's Delete it or Don't!
Now, the first item on the agenda…oh goodie! We have one with the sexy spider, Black Widow!
Combat Training and Physical Conditioning
SHIELD Helicarrier
Hand-to-hand combat class, Instructor Natasha Romanov AKA Black Widow
"Welcome to basic hand-to-hand," Natasha greets the students as they sat around her in a semi-circle. "Here, you are going to learn how to take a punch. A very useful skill for the next time you find yourself in a situation without a weapon. Whether you are disarmed or lose it. Otherwise, you'll end up like Ruby without Crescent Rose."
The spy directed that at Ruby, who cringed. If it's one thing that Bruce warned them about, it was her brutal honesty. Something they appreciated, especially Yang. She knew her baby sister was terrible at combat, as she tried to train her before she attended Beacon. Of course, she went to school with her, but it didn't help that she got captured by the White Fang because she lost her weapon.
"So, Nat, question," Yang said as she raised her hand. "What if one of us already has gone through hand-to-hand combat training? I mean, don't get me wrong, but my dad had taught me how to throw a punch when I attended Signal Academy."
"Since you put it that way…" Natasha said as she points to Yang. "You're up first."
Yang was taken aback. She pointed at herself to make sure she heard her right. Her stomach dropped when Natasha nodded. According to Fury, Natasha is the Avengers espionage and stealth specialist, and for good reason. Tony once commented that she took down a security force by herself. Suddenly, she wished that she didn't open her mouth.
Gulping, she got up from the floor and walked in front of Natasha. Her posture is relaxed as she sized her up. Yang was tense as she readied her fists.
"Let's start with an easy question," Natasha said. "What's the best defense against a punch? Obviously, on your planet, the first thing that comes to mind would be your aura. That isn't going to be the correct answer today. I'll give you two."
"I get that I shouldn't rely on it too much," Yang said defensively. "If I were to take a guess, I say either ducking or raising your—"
At that moment, Natasha socked her in the jaw. Yang reeled back from the sudden attack. She had to hand it to her, she really knows how to punch. If it weren't for her aura, her jaw probably would've been dislocated. As Yang recovers from the blow, Natasha turned to address the others.
"The best defense against a punch is to punch them first," Natasha tells the attentive Remnantians. "Otherwise protect the face. You can watch for the signs that an attack is coming. Clenched fists, of course. Tense shoulders. Bared teeth. And that look in their eyes. That look—"
Natasha moved her head to the side as Yang attempted a right hook. She didn't waste any opportunity to strike Yang's abdomen. Left hand gripping her arm, she twists it to force Yang to a crouch. Then she kicked off from the floor and wrapped her legs around her neck, flipping her right on her back. She gave Yang's abdomen one more punch before she cartwheeled off her.
"Like that," Natasha said to the flabbergasted teens. "If you can read your opponent, you can anticipate their attacks. With enough training, you can take them down in a flash."
"As for you," Natasha said to the groaning Yang. "I can see that you weren't paying attention to Steve's lecture. Your movements are wild and sloppy. If Ruby wasn't so terrible at hand-to-hand, you certainly would be the most predictable."
"Thank you for pointing that out," Yang groans as she gets up.
"Now that our demonstration is over, let's get to work. This time, I want all of you to fight me all at once, just like you did with Cap. You can use your semblances to provide you with an advantage."
"Wouldn't you be at a disadvantage?" Ruby asked, noting that Natasha doesn't have any of her gear on her. Not even her iconic widow's bite, which she and her sister are a fan of. But all the questions in their minds faded when they saw the predatory look on her face.
"Ruby…I wouldn't have survived the Red Room if I can't handle eight superpowered teens by myself."
Everyone shuddered at this declaration. Several minutes later, all they knew was the pain.
Council of Kang's
Inside his cell, Kang the Conqueror sat in a chair restraining him. Standing in front of him are Thor and Hawkeye of the Avengers. Each of them held their weapons, ready to attacks should he try anything. Why they are here, he didn't know. Ever since his imprisonment, he's been stripped of his armor.
"Are you worried Asgardian?" Kang asked. When Thor didn't answer, he continued, "You should be. Because even chained here, stripped of my armor…I am still the conqueror. And I will not rest until you are crushed beneath my boot."
"You wish to test my might villain," Thor asked as he twirled his hammer by the straps as he advanced. "Then come! Let us…"
Suddenly, everything stopped. The hammer, Mjolnir, had stopped in motion, but at an angle that is impossible because of gravity. The bubble gum that Hawkeye had been blowing had frozen in the middle of bursting.
"Huh?" That was Kang's only response to this unexpected event. Obviously, the time had stopped. Was the gathering chronal energy the reason that the Avengers had sent two of their own into his cell?
Then, a bright light shone between him and his adversaries. Its brightness intensified, forcing him to look away. The ball of light grew brighter and larger until it flashed. When Kang looked back, three people are floating in front of him. At one glance, he knew who they are. They are wearing his armor after all.
"Hello, Kang," The Kang with the cloak greeted. His helmet, shaped like a Pharaoh's crown, lowered the face hologram to reveal an elderly man.
"The Council of Kangs," Kang said unsurprised. "Have you come to gloat? To mock my imprisonment at the hands of these primitives?"
"Is that not exactly what you would do Kang?" Elderly Kang asked, gesturing a hand at him. "We are you after all? Simply from other timelines."
"You present the Council with a problem," A female Kang said.
"Your timeline has become…dangerous," The third Kang, a child version, said. He floated in a cross-legged position.
That declaration took Kang by surprise. He recomposed himself and asked, "What are you talking about?"
"Your timeline faces a grave threat," Elderly Kang said. "One that we have seen appear in various timelines. Only to be eliminated…but in yours, it grows even stronger. In time, if left unchecked, this threat could threaten all Kang's across all of time."
"If this threat is the Avengers," Kang said. "They are NOTHING to me."
"The threat isn't the Avengers," Elderly Kang said with utmost seriousness. "No…this threat is far graver than you can ever imagine."
"This threat has existed since the dawn of time," Female Kang said. "Time has nurtured it to the point that if not dealt with…it could destroy the universe itself."
The looks on the council's faces were dead serious. For once, a chill went down Kang's spine.
"What is this threat?"
"See for yourself," Child Kang says as he raised a hand. A small portal opened up before Kang. What he saw made him white with horror.
The last time he saw his future, his time, was a barren and desolate wasteland. A fallout was caused by the temporal anomaly created by Captain Rogers. Now it is a city that is burning, filling the sky with black smoke. Pristine buildings that he personally helped build are now crumbling into ruin, down to the last nano-steel plating.
"What has happened to my home?" Kang demanded.
"Your home was invaded by creatures of darkness," Elderly Kang answered. "Creatures that are neither living nor dead. Every planet they arrived on has been destroyed as they eradicated life."
Kang saw the creatures. They are black with bony armored plating. Giant avians soar through the sky, tearing into aerial defenses. Black Pachyderms the size of giants charged through the city, trampling over heavy artillery units. But what caused his heart to stop was the woman running from the chaos. A woman he came to save her life.
"Ravonna…" Kang whispered. It became a scream when he saw a wolf creature come up behind her. "NO!"
He watched, helpless, as the creature tore her apart. Bone-white claws severed flesh and bone. Her scream made him struggle against the restraints, desperate to save his love. The last thing he saw as the portal closed was the look of terror on her face as the creature ate her head. Kang sat with his head hanging in shock, unable to speak.
"This cosmic scourge grows powerful for each planet they destroy. Even now, it is growing stronger until the day it is unleashed upon the universe and all time. Right now, Kang…time is our enemy."
Kang didn't say anything for several moments. Slowly, he looked back at the council. His look of shock is now hardened. Like that of a conqueror.
"What must I do?"
"The Council of Kang's has sworn never to interfere in another Kang's timeline," Female Kang said.
"Because of the danger posed by your future," Child Kang said. "We make an exception."
Elderly Kang waved his hand and the shackles restraining him opened. Female Kang conjured up another set of Kang armor in a flash of light.
"You will find the planet where the threat originated in your armors computer," Elderly Kang said. "Deal with this threat, Kang as we have. As long as it exists…the universe is doomed."
Kang didn't say anything as the armor formed itself around him. The council vanished into a flash of light. When the time had resumed, Kang the Conqueror was nowhere to be found. Eventually, the Avengers would begin hunting for any traces of chronal energy to track him. Yet they will not find him for a long time where they will nearly forget about him.
He wouldn't care.
Kang stood in the command deck of Damocles Base, his sword-shaped time warship as it exits a wormhole. The primitives had defiled it while he was imprisoned, which lead to its destruction during the Skrull Invasion. Fortunately, he can reverse it with time. After he constructed his android army, he set a course to the planet where the threat to his time originated.
The planet that sits in the sea of space. A planet that is similar to earth yet alien all the same. Despite its beauty, he knew that those abominations are there.
"Bridge!" Kang called. "What is Ravonna's status?"
"She is making a steady recovery Lord Kang," An android reported. "The Fantastic Four have made progress in stabilizing her. Soon, the temporal anomaly threatening her life will fade."
"I would expect nothing less," Kang said. "Engage stealth protocols and began scanning the planet. I will be in the time chamber studying the history of this planet to study the threat to the universe. Contact me only if it's an emergency I should be concerned about."
"Of course, Lord Kang," came the androids reply as Kang exits the command deck. He walked with a stride filled with purpose. Eventually, he reached the time chamber. The doors closed as he sat upon his time chair.
"I swear to you, Ravonna. I will end this threat before it can begin. Even if I have to conquer this planet to do it!"
Touch of the Man-Thing
Shadow threw Gambol Shroud. The silver-lined nano blade sliced through three vampires, making them hiss in pain. Another vampire clawed at her and struck a shadow. The Shadow raised her sword and slashed it at the neck. Her HUD showed that her aura is getting low.
"We can't keep this up," Blake said, feeling the fatigue from fighting the hordes of vampires. It was enough for a vampire to tackle her to the floor, breaking her aura. More vampires dogpiled onto her, pinning her down.
"Shadow!" Snowflake screamed as she fought against another Vampire.
Just as she was about to be a human blood bag, the vampire screamed as it caught on fire. It faded into ashes to reveal the Man-Thing standing over her. Its huge arms smacked away the vampires holding her down. In response to more charging vampires, the Man-Thing slammed its fists onto the ground. The earth cracked open and vines lashed out from below. They grabbed the charging vampires, burning them like the rest of them.
Shadow and Snowflake watched all of this in a mixture of awe and horror.
"Snowflake?" Shadow said slowly. "Man-Thing is attracted to emotions, correct?"
"Yeah," Snowflake said, knowing already what she is thinking. "I'm just glad that Man-Thing wasn't created on Remnant."
"No kidding," Shadow shudder as she watches Man-Thing pummel a vampire to the ground. Then, her ears twitched as she heard her team leaders scream. Man-Thing stopped his rampage and turned to where he knew the source of the scream was. Then, he began to lumber towards the source.
Weiss and Blake looked at each other before following after him.
Civil Discussion
"ACHOO!" Ruby sneezed as she entered the bedroom, she had in Avengers Mansion. She missed sharing a bedroom with her teammates, but it's nice to have her own privacy. Especially after waking up from a two-week coma.
"Why is everything so dusty?" Ruby complained as she wipes her nose.
"Probably because you weren't taking proper care of it," Weiss sniffed as she walks into her room with a scrutinizing gaze upon the scattered weapon parts on the floor. "Honestly, your room is like a death trap! It's a miracle you haven't blown yourself up."
"I'm moving everything to my lab in Horizon, okay," Ruby said defensively. Weiss just rolled her eyes like it's the fifth time she heard it. Then, Ruby became solemn as she said, "Hey, Weiss. Before Blade arrived…we were discussing Stamford Connecticut."
"Stamford?" Weiss asks before she realized what they are talking about. "Oh…"
"Yeah. If we were woken up during the Superhero Civil War, which side would you take? Pro-Registration or Anti-Registration?"
"You discussed this with the others?" Weiss asked. Ruby shook her head, signaling that she's the first to be asked. "If you want to know, I guess it would be Anti-Registration."
"Huh?"
"Don't get me wrong. While I agree that Superheroes need to be put in check, I don't agree with all of them answering directly to the government. You remember why the kingdom disbanded the armies and made Huntsmen and Huntresses independent after the great war, right? Except for Atlas obviously."
"Their purpose is to fight the Grimm and not have allegiance to any kingdom," Ruby said. "That way, they won't be a threat to the other Kingdoms. But from what Kang showed us, it's to also protect the Relics. Like a private army for the headmasters."
"That too. I saw a show that shows exactly what happens when superheroes answer to executives. If the Superhero Registration Act didn't get repealed, it would create unnecessary red tape, preventing us from doing our job and cost lives. How long will it be before the world governments, or heck the United Nations, begin to use superheroes for their own ends? Or until superheroes are sent into war?"
"Cap was also concerned about corruption," Weiss and Ruby turned to see Blake walking inside. It was clear she was listening to their conversation. "Superheroes are also fallible to corruption, like the rest of the world. Even on a sanctioned mission, say some office block gets destroyed. What if the government isn't going to lock away their best heroes every time that happens?"
"I know one guy who happens to have the best PR team," Weiss said with a scowl. The girls didn't need a guess to know who she's talking about. He left mental scars on her and her siblings.
"Your father?"
"Who else?" Weiss snapped. "Before Kang invaded, he had the best PR team on Remnant covering up his unethical business practices. He even used me as his singing canary! All it would take is one dishonest politician to suggest covering up these indiscretions and we would have corrupted superheroes running around. Financial interest will compromise the honesty of superheroes."
"Not to mention losing our anonymity," Blake said. "If we had to register to the Government, our records will be highly sought-after information, and any slight lapse in data security could result in our loved ones taken hostage."
"Like Peter's Aunt May," Ruby said. Back at Horizon, Peter would talk about his Aunt May when nobody was listening. An elderly woman who is struggling to pay the bills so that Peter could stay in school. She would even hear him struggle to find ways to make money, even sell photos of Spider-Man to J. Jonah Jameson. Despite that, she seemed like a kind lady who didn't deserve to be targeted by supervillains for the sake of petty revenge. They didn't want to see that happen.
"Cap said that they've been given a second chance at the Lincoln Memorial and that it shouldn't be squandered," Ruby said. "Maybe we can help ensure that superheroes aren't treated like weapons and another Stamford Connecticut doesn't happen again. Kamala told me that the Avengers hold an internship program for heroes-in-training. What if we help them open as school?"
"A school for heroes?" Blake asked.
"Yeah, like the Academies back on Remnant," Ruby said. "If we can convince them, the Avengers could act as teachers. They could train the next generation of heroes like us. The next Avengers."
"The Avengers Academy. I like the sound of that," That was Yang, who was leaning against the doorframe.
"How long were you there?" Weiss asked.
"Long enough," Yang answered simply. "I must be getting better with Nat's stealth training module. Anyway, that sounds like a sweet idea Ruby. If it worked out for us, maybe it can work out here on Earth."
"You can say that again," Blake nodded in agreement. "Charles Xavier founded a school for mutants to protect and train them. Some of them became X-Men to foster Mutant and Human relationships."
"I didn't know you were a fan, Blake," Yang teased. Blake blushed in embarrassment and looked away.
"A-anyway. Yang and I came to tell you that it's ready," Blake said to Ruby.
"What's ready?"
"The vampire training program that our vampire-slaying friend put us through for the past two weeks," Yang said with a groan. She pointed a finger at her sister. "And no, you don't get to refuse. If we have to go through it, so do you."
"I wasn't going to," Ruby said, remembering what Blade told her back at the Baxter Building. "From what Blade told me, every vampire is going to be after me because of my eyes. Even if I'm going to be put through the wringer, I need to be prepared."
"Glad to hear it, sis. If it helps, Blade left some of his acid blade schematics for you in the HARM room."
"Really?" Ruby squealed as stars shone in her eyes. "You can add acid to the blade? I've never thought about that! Where are they now?"
"Just go down to the HARM room," Yang said, and Ruby disappeared in a flurry of rose petals. Yang watched them flutter for a moment before turning back to Blake and Weiss with a conspirator's grin.
"You think she suspects anything?" Yang asked.
"Nope," Weiss said with a small pop. "I have to admit, I wasn't expecting her to bring up the Civil War, though. That wasn't at all pretty from what I read."
"No kidding," Blake spoke in a quiet voice. "Registering yourself all because you have an ability…tell me that doesn't scream Nazism."
"Are you guys talking about the Superhero Civil War?" Jaune asked as he and his team showed up at Ruby's bedroom door. They were setting up the vampire training program for Ruby to use. But that isn't the only reason they did it.
"We were," Weiss confirmed. "But now that we are gathered, let's get back to business. Let's go to my room and plan out Operation: Ruby's Birthday."
And that's all folks! Are these forgotten scenes terrible or are they terrible?
Let's see…what else has Prophet got planned…Tales of the Resistance…going back to Kang-occupied Remnant are we?
Deadpool Kills the RWBY Universe…hopefully it will be better than the last one.
Wait…what's this? I'M GOING TO BE ON THE CHAPTER AFTER THE NEXT CHAPTER? HOLY SHIT BISCUIT! I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING I SAID ABOUT THIS FIC!
WATCH OUT, FANFICTION READERS! MY DEBUT IN REMNAT'S MIGHTIEST HEROES IS COMING SOON!
In the words of I Am The Prophet…See you all next time on Deadpool's Delete it or Don't! Back to you Prophet!
Thank you Deadpool…I think. Before you ask, I figure that an official debut will be enough to stop annoying me. Hopefully, it will last long…if not…I'm going to have to think of something else. I hope he didn't give you too much trouble.
On to Q&A:
Guest: Oh, Ultron will definitely be coming to this Fix. Just watch.
Icarus Gray: I'm using adaption distillation and I do this for fun.
SulliMike23: Stan Lee will be making a cameo in this fic. I really like the guy. Shame he had to die.
Saramus92: I might include him in this story. Or I might not. That is the question, isn't it?
And that's all folks! Thank you for reading and see you all next time!