A/N: So in Sesshomaru/Kagome fanfiction world, SO MANY OF THE STORIES are EXACTLY THE SAME. Fed up with the redundancy and utter uncreativity of it all, I set upon writing a parody fanfiction of it. Just because.

It's meant to be funny and a parody. I know it's written in script format which isn't strictly permitted, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. I really like this one. It amuses me.

As always, read and review and all that. No reviews means no memory that I ever posted this fic and need to finish updating it, so, if you want more, be sure to let me know.

Now, without further ado, may I present...

A Cliché:
Inuyasha chooses Kikyo

ONCE UPON A TIME, IN THE SENGOKU JIDAI...

(Kagome is running through the forest heedlessly, crying)

Kagome: Boo hoo! Oh, woe is me! Inuyasha is off cavorting with Kikyo again, and despite the fact I have known about his choice since manga volume 18 and have long since accepted it, this has suddenly upset me greatly and has caused me to lapse from a proud, self-sufficient, independent woman into a crying, sobbing mess! Oh, woe is me!

(Kagome throws herself onto the ground, weeping pitifully. Sesshomaru approaches)

Sesshomaru: Look, it's Inuyasha's wench, except instead of being all happy-go-lucky like she usually is, she's crying and looks very sad. Though I've never before given a damn about my brother or his companions, I will now act Very Concerned.

(Sesshomaru approaches Kagome)

Sesshomaru: What's wrong?

Kagome: Inuyasha has run off with Kikyo, leaving me all alone.

(Sesshomaru acts shocked)

Sesshomaru: Despite the fact that Inuyasha has been in love with Kikyo since forever, and despite the fact that she's a better priestess than you who's not nearly as emotionally unstable, I will now make some generic comforting remark about Inuyasha being a baka for choosing that dead clay pot over you and for not seeing how great you really are, before gathering you into my arms and holding you close in a brilliant display of OOCness.

(Sesshomaru gathers Kagome into his arms and holds her close)

Kagome: Even though you've tried to kill me and my friends many times before, are a mean and sadistic individual, and are probably manipulating me and my emotions right now for some evil purpose, I will let you continue to hold me as I am no longer a strong-willed miko who can take care of herself and am instead a horribly sad, pathetic person who spends all her time weeping over her lost love.

(Kagome proceeds to weep all over Sesshomaru's clothes)

Sesshomaru: Instead of killing you for that grave mortal offense as I would usually do, I will now randomly invite you to return with my to my palace in the Western Lands, despite the fact that I really don't like you.

Kagome: And for the sake of advancing the plot, I will conveniently forget that I have friends who are probably worried about me and instead run off with you as a method of avoiding my problems.

Sesshomaru: Very good, then.

(Sesshomaru makes an air-cloud thing and they fly off to his palace)

MEANWHILE...

(Inuyasha returns to the camp)

Inuya-sha: Where's Kagome?

Sango/Miroku/Shippo/some other unimportant character: She saw you with Kikyo and ran off.

Inuyasha: Oh no! Despite the fact I have never before cared when Kagome has done such a thing, this has suddenly caused me to realize what a mistake I have made in choosing Kikyo over Kagome, despite the fact she's not really a good miko and that I don't love her all that much. I must go after her!

(Inuyasha runs off, following Kagome's scent)

Shippo: It's a shame that Inuyasha can never truly figure out his feelings for Kagome.

Miroku: Yeah, not like us, eh, Sango? *obligatory grope*

Sango: *obligatory slap* Yeah, whatever, hentai.

Miroku: (grinning) You know you love me.

Shippo: (disgusted) God, get a room.

MEANWHILE...

Naraku: ...am I even in this fic?

Kanna: Nope.

Kagura: Probably not.

Naraku: ... (sighs, before going back to sharpening his tentacles)