A/N: This was a result of me reading the comments under Chrissy Teigen's tortilla top Instagram post. They were hilarious and one in particular amused me so much it turned into this, et voilà. Though I'm not new to this fandom, this is is my first story for it, so I hope you enjoy it! Review:)
M for suggestive themes and language.
Don't forget to wear your new push-up bra!
I groan, locking the screen of my phone after reading the text. My vision of a comfortable outfit fizzes out right away, and as lazy as I feel, I know Alice will be the biggest pain in the ass all night if I don't listen to her.
"Oh, Mary Alice," I mutter to myself, quickly tapping into my 'SHOWER' playlist and setting my phone on the closed toilet lid once Urie's voice fills the silence. How could anyone shower without music? The same kind of people who sleep with socks on and the door open. Psychopaths.
The water slowly loosened my limbs, the tightness in my shoulders protesting when I raise my arms to massage shampoo onto my hair. I curse Alice for the fourth time that day.
She is forcing us to go out on a Thursday, and while that isn't the rarest of occurrences, she'd kept me awake last night to watch the supposed meteor shower Tyler from her Sociology class absolutely swore would happen at 12:47 am. Spoiler alert: it did not.
So not only I am sleep deprived, I'm also stressed out due to school and tired from a day's work. The last thing I wanted was to go out, but Alice had been seeing this guy Jasper, who is Emmett's friend, and she's pretty hooked already, so I'm sympathetic towards her. Hey, we have all been there.
So when Alice texted me earlier to say - read, say, not ask - we were all going out and to please dress nicely because Jasper invited a friend, I wasn't the happiest of campers. I'm tired, I'm not in the mood to chat up a guy and I definitely have a shit ton of work to do tomorrow, but I could use a drink.
I rinse the suds away, absently murmuring the words to the song when I decide I had enough Body-ody-ody. My clumsy fingers wrap around the solid carcass, but water doesn't help the uncoordinated, so when I go to swipe a thumb on the screen, I end up flinging the whole device away.
"No, fuck!" I yelp, cringing when my phone bounces against the corner of the toilet and noisily clangs onto the tiled floor.
Water drips off my fingertips when I retrieve my fallen buddy from its crime scene. I curse, noticing the crack that goes from the bottom right to the upper left. Megan is still singing though, so besides the obviously battered screen, no further damage is evident.
I resume my shower with a feeling close to guilt heavy in my chest. That poor phone has gone through enough.
A few minutes later, I walk out of the bathroom with a more careful grip on the red device and a towel around my chest.
I pull out the new push up bra Alice convinced me to buy, eying the neckline, and browse through my shirt options. It's that time of the year where it's cooler at night but the heat still lingers in the day, so I choose a blue top that's made of thin stretchy fabric with sleeves that stop in the middle of my forearms. It's light enough that it won't suffocate me but it won't induce me towards hypothermia. Besides, it made my rack look awesome.
I check the time on my phone, deciding I have enough time to blow dry my hair before Alice comes to pick me up.
By the time I'm slipping a pair of silver studs on my ears, Alice walks through the door of our shared apartment.
"If I don't see your tits up to your chin I'm going to cut all of your hair off."
I laugh, checking my mascara in the mirror. "You wouldn't dare."
"No, I wouldn't," my friend appears into my room, dressed in a white jean shorts, a purple gauzy top and silvery sandals. "I love your hair."
"You look nice." I comment, making room for her when she comes to stand next to me in front of the mirror.
"So do you. I love this color on your skin." Alice grins, taking my powder brush to retouch her chin. "Are you ready?"
"Yep." Ready to get back to my pillows, I think to myself as I grab my phone and wallet, shoving the latter in Alice's tiny cross-body purse.
After locking everything up, we step outside to find a smoking Jasper leaning against his car.
"Hey, Bella." He smiles at me, crushing the cigarette under his shoe.
"Hey." I smile back. I really like him, he's the nicest guy Alice has dated and I really hope he stays around for long.
"Ready?" He asks us, holding a hand out to Alice.
The three of us walk the few blocks to The Golden Ticket. The bar is new, a few months since its opening. It has a cool concept, Music through the times!, and every wall is a different decade. The first time we went there, we got so drunk that Alice cried about Lady Gaga's impact on pop culture while Rosalie made us take pictures with the replica of Jimi Hendrix's guitar and I nearly broke my legs trying to moonwalk. It was a great night. Which is why I wasn't so opposed to come here tonight.
I spy Emmett's enormous body by the entrance and wave once Rosalie spots us.
"Finally! They've been playing Tame Impala for an hour! This isn't Indieland." Emmett exclaims as soon as we're in hearing range.
"We just got here." Rose rolls her eyes at him.
Jasper laughs. "Hey, man." They do one of those man hug-handshakes.
I suddenly remember there was another person supposed to join us.
"Hey, weren't you bringing a friend?" I ask Jasper as we began to walk inside the bar.
"Yeah, my roommate," he waits for me to enter. "But he's running a bit late. He'll be here in like an hour."
I nod, feeling relieved but also conflicted. Nobody likes being a third wheel, imagine being the fifth. We spy two empty stools in the bar, and Alice and I sit on them as Rosalie informs us she's taking Emmett for a tour of the place.
"Get me a beer and a Gorilla Fart!" She shouts over her shoulder.
We snack on peanuts and clink our glasses while is just us three, talking about our busy days, and I feel better once I gulp down a cold drink. Cocktails here are delicious.
Once Emmett gets back, though, thoughts of my warm bed completely disappear from my mind. He orders a round of shots and we all throw them back like it's water. And then we order more. I end up with 'a shot' that suspiciously comes in two glasses, one being tequila and the other a weird mix of hot sauce and some other stuff.
"What are we toasting to tonight?" He asks hurriedly, wiggling his fingers to gain my attention while he holds a Fireball shot in one hand.
"To The Beatles." Jasper interrupts viciously, rum spilling over his fingers as he clinks his glass to Emmett's.
I blink. "Okay, to The Beatles, I guess."
I throw my shots back, wincing as soon as fire erupts in my mouth. "Fuck!"
"I told you not to get that one!" Alice chides, licking cream from her lips.
I cough, feeling my eyes water, and when I open them, I'm met with the most stunning man I've ever seen.
Holy Rattlesnake.
"Hey, you made it!" Jasper cheers, clasping him on the shoulder while Emmett thrusts a shot of tequila in his hand.
"Woah, okay, starting early." He laughs, taking the small glass.
Goddamn, if this isn't the hottest guy alive on this side of the country.
His hair is a strange mix of red, brown and even blond strands. I need to get my fingers in those locks, is my immediate thought. His eyes are bright and the light reflects on them, and I can't decipher if they're brown or amber in these lights or if my eyesight has become affected by the alcohol. I'm drunker than I thought.
My eyes trace his lips as they wrap around the glass, and I scan the length of his throat as he gulps the drink down. I want to lick his Adam's apple and see how hard I can sink my teeth into his skin before he grunts. Or moans. Whatever he does.
Am I horny or am I horny? I take a sip of my mojito to cool down a little.
"Guys, this is Edward," Jasper announces as the object of my inner fantasies wipes a hand over his mouth. "My roommate."
He comes closer, leaving the shot glass on the bar, and I realize he's rather tall. I like tall boys.
And then he looks at me.
My stomach tightens and I'm sure my eyes grow wide in exhilaration. I feel my neck get hot and I curse, because I know I'm blushing. I hope the lights mask the redness, and if it doesn't, I'll just blame the literal venom I had just consumed.
His eyes leave me when Jasper introduces the girls, and I take the chance to self-consciously wipe my upper lip. "And this is Bella. They're roommates, all three of them."
"Hi." I wave gently, sending him a quick smile that I hope translates into are you single? Come talk to me and also kiss me until I stop breathing.
"Hey. Edward. Nice to meet you." He sends a grin my way, and I take that as a yes, I am, are you interested?
Yes, I am.
Rosalie turns back to me, blocking my silent flirting, and smirks.
"He's cute." She whispers close to my ear.
"I know, I want him to get to know my tongue." I mutter back, sipping my drink.
Rose laughs. "Dude, you're drunk."
I laugh too because yeah, I am, but it isn't my fault. "I didn't know he looked like that. I would've waited."
"Is it me or this place is getting packed?" Alice says as she steals a sip of my drink.
I eye the place and hum. "Kinda."
"What is this? It's delicious," Alice waves to get the bartender's attention. "I want one of this!"
"Uh, can I get a corona, man? Thanks." A deep voice says to my left and I turn in surprise.
He looks down at me and smiles. My heart beats a little faster. "Is that any good?" he nods at my mojito. His eyes cut down to my chest and I inwardly smirk.
"Yeah! They make great drinks here." I nod enthusiastically.
"You heard her." The bartender grins, holding out his freshly opened beer.
I take the cool bottle and offer it to him, taking my chance.
"Thanks." His fingers touch mine and I swear I didn't imagine his pinky scratching my wrist. "I guess I'll have to try yours."
I nearly scream in satisfaction.
A familiar guitar riff starts up and Emmett groans at the same time I perk up.
"Ugh! Indieland!" Emmett complains.
"I love this song." I grin.
Edward turns to me with interest. "You like Grizzly Bear?"
I nod, seeing my in for conversation, but then Emmett grips his shoulder and takes his attention from me.
"Let's go play pool." He takes his beer, and then he walks away.
"Uh…" Edward looks back at me with a grimace.
"It's okay, go play." I grin, trying to play it cool.
"You're not playing?"
Jasper snorts. "Bella? She can barely stand on both feet sober."
I glare at him as he stops to teasingly punch me in the shoulder before he walks to the pool table, taking Edward with him.
"Bella, he wants to fuck you." Alice says immediately once they're gone.
"He was flirting with me, right? It wasn't just me?" I grin.
"Oh, he was definitely flirting," Rose smirks. "And you weren't bad either."
"Until your dumb boyfriend dragged him away." I huff, taking another sip of my drink.
"Technically it was her dumb boyfriend that took him away."
"You guys, I think I'm in love." Alice grins widely, draining her glass before ordering another.
We stay chatting and drinking, just us three. Rosalie had slept at Emmett's for two nights in a row and I hadn't seen her since Tuesday. Sometimes I miss my friends. I know we all are crazy busy and it's not the same like when we first started college, but these two girls have become the closest to sisters I've had and when we don't see each other for a while, I turn into a needy 5 year old.
The bartender, who we find out is named Garrett, keeps us entertained when he's not serving other people, telling us his favorite mixes and some stories from the other places he's worked in. He tries to subtly flirt with Rose but she quickly shoots him down, informing him she's dating the huge guy lip-syncing to Whatta Man.
Soon enough, Alice wanders off to find Jasper and drags him to the dance floor when Beyoncé comes on, while Rosalie and I snicker at his awkwardness. I think Jasper is the only person I know that not even alcohol can help him do the Single Ladies hands.
"I think I'm going to stop with this one." Rose tells me as Garrett places two Orgasms in front of us.
"What? You're going out with the softest shot?" I narrow my eyes at her.
"Bella, I have class at eight. I shouldn't even be here." She rolls her eyes, licking some of the cream before throwing her head back and drinking the shot.
I shrug, doing the same before I feel a brush on my arm.
"Uh, Rosalie?" Edwards stands next to us, his eyes glassy and his lips wet. "Emmett found two guys to play against and he refuses to start without you as his partner."
Rose groans. "See?" She slips off the stool. "Sign from the universe to stop drinking."
Edward shrugs, settling onto her seat. "I guess I wasn't the best partner."
I chuckle, pressing my fingers to my mouth to stop it from getting Cheshire size. Oh, no, I'm alone with Edward.
"What are you drinking?" he asks, nodding towards my empty shot glass.
"A glass of water could probably do me good." I chuckle again, watching as he tries gaining Garrett's attention.
"What? I can't try that mojito by myself." He smiles, setting his elbows on the bar, unintentionally closing the space between us.
I try to come up with something witty to say, but I suddenly can't focus because oh my god, his eyes are green. Green and sparkly and a little drunk, but so beautiful.
Garrett saves me from answering, taking our order of two mojitos and a glass of water. Edward slides his card out and I try to protest, but he just grins and shakes me off.
"Thank you." I say politely, once Garrett leaves.
"You can pay me back," he says easily, putting his wallet inside his pocket. "By telling me about you."
I grin, trying to conceal my excitement. He's so cute. There's something about talking to a cute guy that you know finds you attractive too that is just absolutely thrilling.
We talk. We talk about music, about school, our majors, his minor, hobbies, friends, bars, alcohol. He didn't like the mojito, so I ended up taking his drink while he ordered whiskey. We talk and talk and talk. I can feel my heart beating faster every time he leans in, every time his eyes crinkle and my soul sighs every time he says I'm funny. We even talk about childhood scars, and when he lifts his shirt to show me his scarred navel from falling onto the neighbor's fence, I can't help myself and decide to be bold.
"Do you feel anything here?" I trace my fingernail on the raised tissue, watching the muscles in his stomach clench. I peer up at him, finding his hooded gaze already watching me.
He licks his lips and I follow the movement. He swallows. "I-no. Not really. I don't feel anything. Not there, anyway." He realizes what he said and he turns to sip his drink with wide eyes.
I breathe out a laugh, cutting my eyes discretely (as discretely as I can) to his lap, before swinging my eyes back to his face.
"So did you want to see Forks or not?" I ask, biting my lips as I notice his ears are pink.
He nods, trying to shrug off his embarrassment. He scoots his stool closer, his thigh pressed to mine. My stomach flutters and I take a sip of my water as I feel his chin on my arm.
My eyes meet his and if I leaned a few inches, I'd be brushing his nice lips with mine.
"Do you have any baby Bella pics too?" he murmurs with a smile, and I know I am drunk enough for my self-restrain to not last long.
I shake my head, managing to hide my blush with my hair as I fumble to take my phone out of my jeans. I feel disappointed when I feel him lift off my arm.
"What happened to your phone?" He asks, touching a finger to the crack on my screen.
"Oh," I frown. "It was an accident. I was showering and I tried to change the song with wet hands. You can guess what happened after."
He laughs, and I try to pretend I wasn't openly staring at his mouth. "Maybe you shouldn't have your phone in the bathroom then."
My face immediately falls. "What do you mean? What would I do while I shower then? Stare at the tiles? No, thanks. How can I put Spotify on if my phone's not there? No phone in the bathroom? What do you mean?" I don't know where all of that came out of, and it's probably just the alcohol talking, but I'm suddenly desperate to know more about his thoughts in this.
"I'm more of an Apple Music guy," Edward says amusedly, dipping a finger into the condensation ring under his glass. I have another wet place I wish he'd do that to. "But I don't usually put anything on while I shower."
"What?" I automatically blurt out.
"What?"
"Oh my God," I whisper, watching his lips stretch into a smirk. "You're a psychopath."
"Me?" He chuckles. "You basically just word-vomited about your fear of quiet bathrooms and I'm the psychopath?"
"I bet you sleep with socks on, too. God, I can't sleep with you now." I shake my head, turning to my drink.
"What?" Edward blinks quickly. "Was that on your mind? And what's wrong with sleeping with socks on?"
I shake my head again, snickering around my drink.
"C'mon," he laughs, crinkles by his eyes, and my stomach does that fluttery thing again that has nothing to do with the rum skipping down my throat. He shifts closer, three fingers touching the ones wrapped around my glass. My breath hitches. "What were you thinking of doing with me?"
I gulp slowly, feeling my whole face flush. I part my lips away from the glass, but make sure I hold his haze as my tongue peeks out to lick the rim. Was that sexy? This is a bad time to be drunk.
His other hand reaches out to trace the stud on my earlobe. "What were you thinking of doing to me?" He moves closer, his whiskey flavored breath smoldering my senses. I feel his thumb slide down my neck, and everything tingles.
I wonder if he'd let me take him back to my room. If his mouth is as soft as it looks. If he likes to bite when he kisses. If he'll pant or if he'll moan, if he's rough or if he likes it slow and drown out until it feels like everything is on fire. I wonder if he'd like me on top or underneath him, or if he's better with me on all fours. I suddenly beg God to remove any pens and compact mirrors from my bed. I can't remember how clean I left it, and I yearn for the girls to go down heavy tonight, because I do not think I can be too quiet. Not with the way he's looking at me.
I'm just about to slide my damp hand into his messy curls when a small but heavy thing slams into my side.
"Fuck," Alice laughs, eyes shiny and lipstick smudged. "I think I just drank my weight in mojitos and this floor doesn't like my shoes."
Edward coughs, retreating to his seat to let Alice jump between us.
I glare at her.
"Can you come with me to the bathroom? Rose is lost to the betting world and I'd bring Jasper in, but I can't promise we won't—"
"Alice, you're a grown ass woman. Not the tallest but—"
"Nobody goes alone to the restroom, Bella, c'mon!"
"I was in the middle of something here." I hiss at her.
"I'm sorry, I can smell your weeping kitty, but I wasn't kidding about drinking my weight—"
"Dude!"
"I'll be fast!" She pleads, gripping my arm and continuing to tug me up.
I groan, throwing my head back and hitting someone's shoulder. I don't even turn, sloppily getting down from my stool.
I look at Edward, noticing we've been joined by Jasper who I guess couldn't have been far from Alice, and I lean into him. "Don't go anywhere." I try to whisper but don't succeed.
I don't care about my inability to be a quiet drunk when he touches my hip and I feel the heat from his hand even through my clothes. "I'll save your seat. Hurry."
His hand squeezes and his eyes twinkle and I swear I feel a rush down there but Alice is suddenly dragging me away and I can't feel anything else but stupidly happy and giddy.
I don't even care about the 'OUT OF FUNCTION' sign on the other bathroom.
I do, however, care about the sudden pressure on my bladder. And about the other three woman in line.
"How are you holding up?" Alice asks me as she wiggles in place.
"Why do you have lipstick all over your face?" I ask in return, noticing the faint traces of Mac's Ruby Woo on her chin and nose.
She giggles, scrubbing at her face with the back of her hand. A girl in tight leopard-print shorts stumbles out of the working bathroom. Two more from release.
"Bella, his kisses are insane," Alice whispers, eyelids droopy under the harsh yellow light of the restroom hall. "He licked all of my teeth and I didn't even knew I liked that but I did and I got so turned on I nearly jumped him by the Elvis figure!"
"Alice!" I whine, incredibly jealous and annoyed. "I was just about to see if Edward likes licking teeth too!"
The blonde in front of us turns to give me a look but before it can register in my mind, she goes into the bathroom, leaving only my blush as a reminder of my short-lived embarrassment.
"I'm sorry!" My short friend grimaces, closing her eyes. "I just really have to go."
"I know, me too." I shake my head. The sting of my bladder is starting to worry me and I remember the brief urinary infection I had a couple of summers ago for precisely holding it in for too long. Not something I'd like to repeat.
I notice two more girls behind us, a third one in wobbly knees joining the line, and I curse whoever fucked the other bathroom up.
"We'll go in together," I say, quickly. "We'll save time and these poor girls can go faster."
I look behind me, hoping to get a grateful smile.
"Whatever." The brunette rolls her eyes. Okay then.
"Rude." Alice frowns.
The door opens just in time and we both jump into the tiny room.
"God." Alice whimpers, quickly sliding her shorts down her hips. I turn to the side to give her some privacy, and nearly cry when I hear the toilet seat clank from her weight.
I stare in the mirror, noticing the smudged mascara and sweat beads gathered at the edge of my hairline, and try to ignore Alice's sighs of relief as the unmistakable sound of piss hitting the toilet water fills the space.
I hold my legs together as tight as I can, gripping the edge of the sink and breathe in to calm myself down as shudders rock my body.
Her shoulders slump in relaxation. I can't hold it in anymore.
"Weeping kitty?" I blurt out.
"Heh," Alice's white teeth glimmer from the width of her grin. "Yeah, I said that."
I really can't.
"Fuck!" I feel the signs of a lost battle and hastily make a desperate move of attempted salvation.
I turn around, slide my jeans so hard down my hips that I feel them chaffing, and jump ass out onto the sink.
"Bella!" Alice laughs out in shock.
"Shut up," I breathe out, adrenaline hitting up my chest. I feel the faucet digging into my lower back but I do not care as I finally, finally, oh God, empty out my screaming bladder. "Jesus fuck, I felt like I was about to give birth."
Alice laughs again, cutting a piece of toilet paper for herself and then stretching out to hand me another.
If my life was a movie, this would be the record stopping scene in which you know the main character is about to fuck up. And that's exactly what I do when I lean out to take the wad of paper from Alice's fingers and feel my improvised toilet move underneath me.
"Bella, the sink!" Alice's eyes grow wide in alarm.
I feel my ass shift away from the cold surface, hear the groaning pipes as they forcefully separate from the sink, and a scream tumbles out of my throat.
The sink crashes down noisily onto the floor, cracking its corner and sending out pieces of white ceramic in the air. Meanwhile, I hit the floor on my knees and elbows, bumping my chin on the wall and wetting my underwear with the remains of my bladder.
A stunned silence fills the bathroom for a mere 5 seconds before the knocking on the door begins.
"Hurry up!"
"Shit." I curse, feeling the pain in my jaw.
"Are you okay?" Alice hurries to slide her shorts up, helping me sit up.
The water pipe is beginning to leak all over, muddying up the already dirty floor.
"Dude, I broke the bathroom." I mutter anxiously.
"Shit," she looks at my mess. "Fuck, Bella." She takes my arms and helps me up, mercifully ignoring my bareness, and I tug my pants up.
The door bangs again. "Hurry! There's a line out here."
"Fuck, those girls are going to choke me." I whimper, feeling the alcohol sitting on my stomach and desperation clinging to my pores.
Alice grimaces, looking for something positive to say, but ends up nodding in agreement.
Well, nobody goes to the restroom alone for these reasons.
As soon as we open the door, there is trouble.
"What the hell did you do?" The brunette asks angrily as she spies the broken sink on the floor.
"Oh, fuck this." Another girl stalks out of the line.
"It was an accident!" Alice tries to explain.
"This is the only working bathroom, you stupid skank!" This brunette has a lot of issues.
"Was." I correct automatically.
Before I get smashed under her combat boots, a large man with an apron tied around his waist comes into the hall, followed by the same girl who left the line only seconds ago. "What's going on here?"
"They broke the bathroom!" The brunette accuses us.
"How the hell did you break the sink?" The guy asks angrily. He steps in, pushing Alice and I aside, and I take that as an opportunity to escape.
I take Alice's hand and make a run for it.
"Hey, they're leaving!" A girl exclaims, but I do not stay to see who was it.
We leave the angry mob behind and lose ourselves between the sweaty sea of dancing bodies, gripping each other's hands tightly. I get an elbow to the nose, Alice nearly suffocates between two sets of armpits, but we make it to the other side, just in time to be caught by another guy in an apron.
"Got ya." He frowns, gripping my bicep.
"Sir, dude, please, I didn't mean to, it was an accident!" I begging to babble right away.
"Hey, what's going on?" Edward suddenly materializes by my side, a frown marring his flawless features as he eyes the guy's hand on me.
"Help!" Alice yelps beside me.
"These two broke the bathroom sink," the bar's guy tells Edward. "There's a mess and a bunch of angry girls waiting for us to do something."
"Well, I'm sorry but I'm no plumber, I'm just a college student, I can't fix the bathroom right now." I retort angrily.
"Shut up." Alice breathes into my ear.
"What's going on?" Rosalie appears behind Edward.
"Rose!" I exclaim.
"She broke the sink!" Alice whines.
I turn to glare at her. "This is all your fault."
"Me? You were the one who sat in the sink!"
"You sat in the sink?!" Rosalie questions with surprise.
"You sat in the sink?" Edward's eyes widen.
"You sat in the sink." The guy, who still has me by the arm, says un understanding, narrowing his eyes.
"Yes, I sat in the fucking sink, this short haired slut was using the toilet and your other bathroom is out of service so don't even judge me because I spent a good amount of money on your bar tonight, I deserve respect and the least I expect is for you to let me go right now!" I yank my arm out of his hold and stumble back into Alice.
"Okay, how much is the damage?" Edward tries to smooth things out, holding his palms in the air with an air of calmness, even if his eyes are red-rimmed and there's a stain on his shirt.
Another guy, this one with a black shirt that has the bar's name on his left pec, appears with Emmett hanging from his and Jasper's shoulders.
"You," the bouncer nods at our group. "All out."
"What?" Rosalie protests, eying Emmett's slumped form.
"You heard the man," my friend the apron-wearer takes my arm again, but only to push me towards the entrance. "Out."
"Hey, no!" Alice exclaims, wrapping her arm around my waist as we get escorted out of the bar.
I look towards Edward's direction and see him huff as Emmett's other arm is passed onto his shoulders. Rosalie takes my hand and leads the way.
"And don't come back to this place." The bouncer warns, closing the door once we are all out on the sidewalk. A few people lingering outside eye us.
"Fuckers." Rosalie huffs, crossing her arms.
"What the hell happened?" Emmett mumbles drunkenly.
I groan, putting my hands over my face. "I just got us banned from The Golden Ticket!"
"It's okay," Jasper rubs my arm soothingly. "Emmett vomited all over the pool table. We had to go anyway."
"You didn't even flush the toilet." I say to Alice a few minutes later as we start walking away from the bar.
"Oh, right." Her mouth twists. And then she shrugs. "Honestly, serves them right for having one single working bathroom."
"Yeah, you should go back and finish the other toilet, Bella. Make sure to get the job done right." Edward teases me, falling into step with me once Emmett decided he's good enough to walk.
"Shut up." I groan again.
Honestly, will the embarrassing ever stop happening to me? No? Okay.
He laughs again, passing a hand through his hair. It stands out in copper craziness, and even though I've sobered up, I yearn to taste the whiskey in his mouth.
Our apartment is only a few blocks away, and once we decide the guys will take a cab from there, we set the pace for home.
That leaves me with a few minutes with him. A few minutes in which I wish we were alone.
I try to remember what the last thing we were saying was, while simultaneously forcing my heartbeat to slow down. I'm thinking of a topic to start a conversation with him, when he interrupts my inner chatter.
He holds an arm out in front of me, sliding his hand in mine once I stop walking. I notice the others are a few good steps away.
"Cherry Hill." Edward tells me.
"What?" I furrow my brows in confusion.
"Cherry Hill," he says again, staring at my face. "Put it in your Spotify."
I blink, wondering if this stupidly beautiful man has left my brain in riddles or if it is the remaining alcohol in my system, when he steals my breath away.
"For when we shower together." His eyes hold promises of heat and passion and moans or maybe pants - I still cannot decide if he's a moaner - and ungh!
He squeezes my hand and I swear he can feel my heart on my fingertips.
"Only if you take your socks off." I grin back, sliding up to him as we resume walking.
He smirks, leaning down towards my face. "I know the night hasn't been kind to you, but I'd be very concerned if you really believed I would shower with socks on."
I groan, resting my head on his shoulder as he laughs. "I don't know what kind of things you're into."
He smirks again. "I suppose you'll find out."
"Yeah," I stop him from walking. "I will." I finally slide my hands up that hair, grinning when I confirm its softness, and bring his lips down to mine.
It's everything I imagined. Soft and wet, and fast but also languid, and whiskey, rum and tequila shouldn't be mixed together, but they are, we are, and I probably smell disgusting from the bathroom floor, where I technically peed myself, and I didn't even wash my hands, but he doesn't care, and he doesn't lick my teeth but he does bite, and it's delicious and I want more more more.
Catcalls interrupt our impromptu make out session, and I have the decency to remember we're in the middle of the street, and it's one am and I have work in the morning.
"Can't that wait till we're home?" Alice laughs from underneath Jasper's arm.
Edward's presses another kiss to my lips, and it's so soft my heart weeps.
"C'mon, Mr. Sock Fetish," I murmur into his mouth. I kiss him one more time when his chin trembles in laughter, threading our fingers together as we walk. "I believe I was promised a shower."