Technically this is a cross over, but no one will find it if I put it in the cross over section. It's focused more heavily on the Glee characters anyway.
Also this fic kind of bends time, it's roughly the end of SE12 for Law & Order: SVU, and future fic in the Glee verse, with a few changes here and there, but it shouldn't be hard to follow... we'll see :/
Anyway, here we go:
Posted: 7/10/13
Prologue: New Beginnings Born from Tragic Events
A 21 year old, Santana Lopez, was woken by some distant, muffled, noises. Her eyes opened in the dark and all she found was the back of her girlfriends head. She ignored the noise, rather than go out there and berate which ever neighbour was up at... she looked back over her shoulder, having to peel away from the other body in the bed, so she could see the alarm clock. The orange numbers burning into her retinas told her it was past 2 in the morning.
Anyway, she decided to ignore the noises and go back to sleep. She cuddled up against her girlfriend again and tried to get back to sleep... but the noises weren't subsiding... they were getting louder; there was a dull thud, then some other noise... It sounded like a grunt, like someone was struggling, or doing something they shouldn't be doing, in the corridor.
Her need to know things got the better of her; she peeled herself away from her girlfriend, and slipped out from under the sheet. She slipped jeans on over her pyjama pants, and a hooded sweatshirt over her vest top, as she left the bedroom. She then crossed the short apartment space to get to the front door.
It was funny how life worked out, some of it great, some of it just plain surprising, and some of it a little disappointing. Yeah, Brittany had graduated with her and they were now living in New York City together, and it had been weird when Brittany had been the one to find an affordable apartment for them both. And that had been less weird when it turned out to be right next door to Kurt and Rachel's place, one of them might have told the blonde about the availability all those years ago. The disappointment? That wasn't what Santana felt, more like what her parents might have felt for her. She gave up on college only a few months in, it just wasn't for her, so here she was, a couple years later, neighbours to two NYADA students, girlfriend to a NYU student, and working days as a gym receptionist, and some nights as some bartender at a gay bar. Brittany had got her the job, and who was she to say no to Brittany.
When she got to the door, she realised she couldn't hear any noise from the other side of the door, she thought about just going back to the warmth and comfort of her bed when curiosity got the better of her. She unlocked the door and stepped outside, she looked one way: nothing. She looked the other way-
She found Rachel sat on the floor, outside her apartment door, her clothes dishevelled, her head down; she looked like she's just past out. At first, as Santana closed in, it looked like Rachel had been partying hard, which was weird enough. But then she remembered, many hours ago Rachel had gone to the train station with Quinn, to send her on her way back to Connecticut
She just screwed up her face, eyes narrowed, brow furrowed "Berry, what the hell are you-" and then she noticed the rip on the sweater, and the bruising under her eye "oh shit. What happened?" she rushed to Rachel's side and propped her up, so she wasn't slouched against the wall.
"Santana?" the girl murmured, she was disorientated, and confused. She raised her head, sleepily, unintentionally giving the Latina a better look at her bruised eye.
The girl just cringed at the sight, someone had really done a number on her face, she had a split lip too "Yeah, Berry. What happened to you?" she asked as she tried to keep Rachel propped up. She didn't like the fact she was doing this, but she put an arm round her too, to support the girl
"I, I..." she struggled as she searched her mind. Santana didn't think she'd ever seen Rachel this vulnerable. Even when the girl was covered in slushy she never let anyone see how vulnerable she really felt.
"Tell me, were you mugged?" Santana tried to prompt more words from the vulnerable looking girl.
"N-no... I think-" a few tears escaped Rachel's tired eyes, on one side of her face the tears ran over the fresh purple bruise, around the eye "I think... I-I was raped"
Santana's eyes widened "Holy shit" she breathed. She looked up and down the hallway, it was empty. She thought it was best, for Rachel's sake, to move her before anyone else saw her... especially Brittany "Can you move?"
She shuffled in place "Yeah"
"Come on, lets get you inside" she spotted Rachel's purse, on the floor. Rachel had been resting on it. She kept one hand on Rachel's side as she bent down to retrieve it. She unlatched it, noting it looked like everything was probably all there, and took out Rachel's apartment keys, so she could unlock the door. Once they were inside, Santana flipped the light switch, brightening the still apartment. She led Rachel to the small kitchen table, by the kitchen corner and sat her down "Are you sure you were raped?"
"Yes" she paused in thought for a moment, like she was still getting her bearings. She swallowed thickly, tears grouping in her eyes, her hands trembling, before she managed to say "...My underwear... I'm not wearing any"
"But you were when you left?" Santana asked, thinking that was a seemingly normal question
Rachel tried to snap, but her voice just broke "Obviously" she propped her arm up on her elbow, on the table and tried to hide, almost, behind her hand.
"Okay, I was just asking" she rolled her eyes, as she backed off. What? She was still Santana Lopez, and that was still Rachel Berry, she couldn't let herself get soft. She'd get the cops and then it wouldn't be her problem anymore "I'm calling the cops-"
"Please don't" Rachel grabbed her wrist before she could walk too far away.
"What? You're joking right" she ripped her arm away, at first with disgust for being touched, but then guilt, when she saw Rachel's, bruised and battered, face looking at her, all vulnerable like that. She dropped to a knee in front of the trembling girl "you were... god Rach, you-... you could have been killed"
She chocked as a sob escaped her mouth, like vomit "I wish they had-"
"Don't say that" she didn't like to think of anyone really thinking like that, despite her bitchy actions in high school "Come on, let me call the cops" that time, she might not have meant it just for her own selfish reasons.
"Please Santana" Rachel cringed; she couldn't have that, she just wanted to shower, and shower, and shower some more, in scolding water, to erase what had happened.
Santana shook her head; she wouldn't wish this on her worst enemy "No-"
"They'll send me to the hospital, and the nurses and doctors will touch me" her chocolate, teary, eyes begged Santana "and I just can't take that right now" she breathed
"But they're looking for DNA and stuff, it's important so they can get the bastard that did this to you" Santana tried to reason. Her eyes trailed over the fresh bruise, as she wondered just how bad it was. The skin wasn't broken round the eye, only the lip, but she couldn't be sure how dark that bruise would grow.
"I-I'll do it myself" Rachel decided, as defiantly as her weak state could.
"No" Santana said bluntly, that wasn't professional, and kind of really gross too.
"I know what they do, they take photos and... samples" she watched as Rachel shivered a little harder at that idea "and then they'll question me while I sit there. I'll get what I can myself, and I'll take it to the police in the morning"
"Really?" Santana grimaced, the whole idea was horrible, and Santana would prefer Rachel was seen by a doctor, but she couldn't force Rachel to do something she didn't want to do, especially in this situation. It wasn't Santana's choice, it was Rachel's.
"I- yeah. I can't" Rachel chocked out another sob as her head bowed lower down, making her hair sweep across her face "I just can't be dealing with... people right now. I want a shower and..." she peeked up, carefully brushing her hair to the side.
"Okay" she conceded, after contemplating the whole thing. She'd put herself in Rachel's position and tried to imagine what she must be feeling in this moment "You should write down what you remember too... it might not be the same story in the morning"
"Right" Rachel sniffed "...Will you help me" she saw Santana cringe, so she rushed to correct the ideas in the other girls head "Not in that area, just... if I describe will you write?" she asked meekly, and so quietly that Santana really had to focus her ears
"You don't mind telling me?" she furrowed her brow. Rachel didn't want to speak to the police, so it surprised Santana that she'd want to tell her instead
"You can't repeat it to anyone, I just... I don't think I'll be able to write it" the way she was trembling should have been enough reason why she felt she couldn't write right now
"I won't tell anyone" Santana promised her "... just calm down a second" she tried to hush, she couldn't have Rachel getting worked up too much right now, especially before they'd even started trying to make sense of this mess.
"And will you help me with pictures... I know I can get most, but could you help me with some of my back"
She carefully took Rachel's hand, noting the bruising to the wrist. The Latina could see how fingers had wrapped round Rachel's arm and squeezed tight, bruising her, but she couldn't be sure, she wasn't an expert "Rach... wouldn't it be easier to just go to the hospital" she checked one more time.
"No! I don't want them touching me" at Rachel's sudden abruptness, as well as the words themselves, Santana was pulling her hand away from the other girl "Sorry" Rachel muttered guiltily.
"Its fine" she backed away again, and found another chair "You're willing to tell me what happened?"
"I'm desperate" Rachel breathed, head still down. Santana couldn't imagine Rachel could tell her what happened if she couldn't even make eye contact with her.
But what other choices did they have right now, Santana still felt it was best to record what Rachel could remember right now, in case there were gaps later. And if there were gaps now, maybe they could fill them out in the morning "Okay..." she gave in, really gave in, not just verbally. She decided it was all or nothing and even if Rachel didn't want it, she needed her right now "Let's get the photos"
"And... the evidence" Rachel mumbled, more than reluctantly.
Santana paused, before she'd even moved to find Rachel's camera "Did he..." she just grimaced, while Rachel cautiously looked to her "in you?" she could only ask suggestively. If they weren't in this situation she would have been less vague, more vulgar.
"I don't know" Rachel could only mumble, what happened wasn't that clear. She was sure it all happened though.
Santana swallowed thickly "Okay" she patted Rachel's hand again and then headed straight for the front door
"Where are you going?" Rachel's voice cracked and squeaked as she just watched Santana walk away. She'd easily admit that Santana was the last person she expected to help her. That didn't mean she didn't want Santana's support, though.
"Lock the door, I've got your spare key with me so I can let myself back in" Kurt and Rachel had given the spare key to their neighbours and vice versa shortly after they'd moved in, over three years ago. "I need to get something..." she halted at the front door and looked back over her shoulder at the vulnerable young woman "just in case"
"What?" Rachel furrowed her brow.
"Um... a morning after pill" And if it was possible, she planned to get any kind of mild antibiotic, or anything like that, just in case. "I know your beliefs and stuff, but this is different" she reasoned. She couldn't imagine Rachel going through a pregnancy as well.
"Yeah I know..." she agreed, thinking the same thing "I couldn't have- I couldn't" she shook her head, unable to say it.
"Okay, lock the door behind me, do what you can without me, when I get back I'll help you if you need it, then you can shower" "And then we'll write everything down" she opened the door, waiting for a verbal response.
"O-Okay" Rachel nodded slightly.
Rachel hadn't moved, it was heartbreaking, even for someone like Santana. "Rachel... it's gonna be okay" she didn't know what else to say. She just saw Rachel nod some more before she pulled the door shut behind her.
In the solitude of the hallway she had space to breath. She leant against the door and just relaxed, which was a bad idea because as soon as she did all the fear of what happened to Rachel got to her, and she didn't even know exactly what happened yet.
She was startled from her state when she heard another door open. She looked left in time to see Brittany creeping outside "San? What's going on?"
"Nothing babe" she smiled as she ushered Brittany back into their own apartment so she could grab her purse and go to the drug store.
"But you weren't here when I woke up" she whined and pouted, making herself sound innocently vulnerable. Any other time it would have had Santana softening, but right now all she saw was another vulnerable young woman... what if it had happened to Brittany "Is something wrong?" the blue eyed blonde asked again.
"Berry's sick, and she's alone so I was helping her"
"Really?" Brittany wasn't that dumb; even if Rachel was sick she wasn't likely to help her.
"Well it's pretty bad" she had to put distance between her and Brittan, afraid she'd see the lies and fear in her eyes "I need to go get her some medicine, I'll be back when I can"
"I could go keep her company" Brittany suggested, sounding far too awake for this time of night... or morning.
Santana turned round swiftly, finding Brittany standing right in front of her again "No, um, she's really sick, I don't want you to catch it too"
"Then what about you, you could get sick too"
"No, I don't get sick remember, my dad's a doctor" Santana explained, half heartedly. She meant that her dad had made sure she was fully vaccine as a child and on top of that he'd bought home every common illness there was. She had gotten sick so often, she was sure she became immune, to most things, in the end.
"Oh right" and Santana didn't think Brittany really understood her lame excuse either, but it was far into the night and she had classes in the morning, so she wanted her sleep "Tell Rachel to get better soon, I'll check in when she's a little better"
"I'm sure she'd like that" she kissed her girlfriend on the cheek and quickly left, before she could leave Brittany any more suspicious. "I'm sure she'd like that?" Santana repeated to herself "Way to sound normal Santana" she muttered as she hurried down the stairs, and out into the dark streets, to find an open pharmacy.
...
When she got back she let herself in, the apartment was silent, so creepily silent, she hated to think about how she just left Rachel here alone in this silence. "Rachel?" she called out as she dropped the bag and her purse on the kitchen table. She slipped her jacket off too and slung it over one of the chairs. She grabbed a glass from the cupboard and filled it with water. She then took the box out of the bag and ventured further into the apartment, with the glass in one hand and the box in the other. She didn't get far before she heard movement in the bathroom "You okay... you showering yet?" she pushed the door open wider, cautiously.
"No" Rachel's voice broke, but not from emotion this time, her voice was rough for another reason.
"What's up-" she stopped as she saw Rachel was knelt in front of the toilet bowl "oh you threw up?"
Rachel nodded as she stood up and flushed the toilet. She then returned her attention to the sink, so she could rinse her mouth out "Yeah, about 2 seconds after you left and then again just now"
"Did you... collect, you know?" she hoped Rachel had got most of it done; she didn't want to be here forever, in this awkward situation, even if that made her selfish.
"I got everything I need. My clothes are in a bag too" she pointed to the floor behind her "all over there" Santana looked down to find a neatly folded and packed brown paper bag "I was about to start taking photo's, and I just... my stomach turned again" she admitted reluctantly. Everything, every thought just reminded her how weak she really was. She didn't know what she was going to do once Santana was through helping her; she had no clue how she was going to deal with this.
"Okay" Santana just nodded. She placed the box and glass on the back of the sink, behind the faucets "That's there when you're ready"
"Thank you" she really meant it too. She hadn't even thought about... that, pregnancy. She didn't really know what she was thinking, she just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.
"Let me help you with the photos, It will be quicker, then you can shower" she suggested when she saw the way Rachel's knuckles had turned white, from the tight grip she had on the lip of the sink. She was hunched over, her robe wrapped rightly around her, her eyes avoiding her reflection in the mirror in front of her. There was no way she could take photos and look at them, to make sure they were clear.
"But... there's some mild bruising to..." she pinched the bridge of her nose, then dropped her hand and vaguely gestured over her breasts "here"
"Rachel" Santana said so softly, she didn't think her voice had ever sounded so meek before "The last thing I want to make you feel is vulnerable" she swallowed thickly "And I know this is hard for you to believe, but you can trust me"
"Can I?" she looked to the Latina standing in the door way "You won't just laugh"
It stung Santana, she was probably the last person Rachel wanted help from, let alone expected. "I wouldn't... I'm not stupid, I know this is difficult, the last thing I want you to feel around me is vulnerable"
"O-Okay" she conceded "shall we go to my room?" she weakly suggested
"You finish up here, I'll get the camera, and... stuff" was it too late for Santana to wish she'd wake up from this nightmare. Then again, that thought alone made her feel guilty; Rachel must be wishing the same thing, hundred times harder.
"Okay" Rachel just nodded and looked away again, her eyes landed on the box in front of her. She couldn't debate this; she should just take the pill now and get that part over with. There was no way she could raise... his child. "My camera is on my dresser"
"Okay, once I've got them, we should put them on a flash drive or something, so you don't have to hand over the SD card, with all your normal photo's on there" Santana suggested
"Yeah I can do that" Rachel said dismissively, not wanting to take up anymore of the other girl's time, and not wanting to delay the next steps in the 'evidence collection' "I'll be through in a minute"
"Okay" Santana muttered before backing away. She went to Rachel's room; she turned the light on and then went to the other side of the room to draw the curtains at each of the small windows, on two of the walls. She then grabbed the camera off the dresser and switched it on; she couldn't help but be nosey and look at Rachel's recent photos. She wasn't really that surprised when she found pictures of Rachel and Quinn, then just some of Quinn, and then just Rachel, at all the places they'd walked past on the Saturday, the cheap tourist thing to do in the city.
At first it had been weird to Santana, when Rachel and Quinn became friends in the years since they left high school, even though most of their interaction was through email. There was something about these photos too; Rachel and Quinn had come a long way... Quinn actually looked comfortable in some of these photos, and in others... the ones of her by herself, there was a twinkle in her eye-
"Okay, I'm ready" Rachel said abruptly as she marched her way into her room. She walked past Santana to stand in front of her, with the pale cream blank wall behind her "Um, is here okay?"
"Yeah, fine" Santana muttered as she switched the camera back to camera mode. When she looked at Rachel again, she was just standing there gripping the edges of her robe "What's wrong?"
"I don't know how to do this" she sounded lost, but in Santana's opinion she couldn't be far from it, even in this vulnerable state Rachel was doing what needed to be done, before she could try and clean the night off of her.
"Just... we'll start with your face, then your back, I'll do close ups if there's anything. And then we'll... do your front" she had to take a breath for the last part, to awkwardly add "And then... you know. You can lay on the bed for that one" Rachel didn't say anything, and Santana couldn't blame her. It was starting to get to the Latina why Rachel didn't want to go to the hospital. Though she wasn't sure what was worse, someone you knew taking these photos, or being touched, photographed, poked and prodded by a medical professional and total stranger "When you're ready"
"Okay, I'm ready" she stood up nice and straight, ready for her head shots. Once they were finished with the face and neck, it was time for the harder part. Rachel turned her back to Santana, and slowly dropped her robe, off over her shoulders and down, onto the floor. Santana did her best to not make a noise; she wanted to gasp at the bruises forming in her back, two lines, as if Rachel's back had met the edge of a wall or something. She didn't analyse any further, she just took the pictures. It was a long process; Santana had to check the photos were clear enough before she took another. She found bruises everywhere, light ones, but that was the point, it was only an hour, maybe two, since it happened, and the bruises were forming already, clear enough to be seen in the photos taken by the basic camera.
It got worse as the pictures got more... 'Intimate'. There was no doubt to Santana that Rachel really had been raped, and she was no doctor, it was just that easy to tell. Rachel trembled the whole time, and Santana just hoped that when these were handed over, the police wouldn't request new ones were taken. She didn't want Rachel going through all this again
"Okay we're done" she finally said the words Rachel had been waiting to hear. The victim quickly climbed off the bed and grabbed her robe off the floor, wrapping herself in it as she rushed out of the room, to the bathroom, to shower.
...
Half an hour later and Santana was ready to take down the story, Rachel wasn't though, she was still in the bathroom, Santana could hear the water running. She'd made coffee for the girl, decaffeinated of course, and cleaned up anything she could, ready for Rachel. And now that she'd waited, and waited, she was starting to worry "Rach?" she called out, as she crept closer to the closed bathroom door "Rachel?" she knocked on the door and listened carefully. She could hear the water running... and beneath it, sobbing. She had to go in there, thankfully in Rachel's rush she hadn't locked the door. "Rachel" she sighed as she found Rachel curled up in the corner of the bath tub. The shower head, hanging from the wall above, was pelting her head and shoulders with water. Her skin was bright red and the room was full of steam "Dam Berry, what are you trying to do, melt yourself?" she rushed over and shut off the faucet, "come on"
"I just want to wash him off of me" she cried "I can st-still feel him, on me"
"I know. But you're hurting yourself, you've cleaned him off, he's gone" she grabbed a towel off the towel rack and held it out for Rachel "Come on Rach, stand up"
It was a slippery struggle, as Santana ended up helping, and encouraging, Rachel to stand and climb out of the bath. She wrapped one towel around the girl's middle, and a second round her shoulders, to keep her warm, and her body protected, at least in her head.
"These are Kurt's new towels" Rachel said, absentmindedly as Santana led her back through to the main room, and back over to the kitchen table, where she had a note pad and some pens waiting.
"I don't care, and neither should you. Let's sit, we're nearly done" Santana pulled the chair out for her "Where is Kurt?" she'd met Rachel and Quinn for Lunch on the Saturday, but she hadn't even been aware that Kurt wasn't around, the entire time.
"Back home, in Lima, visiting Burt and Carol, he left yesterday, Saturday morning, when Quinn arrived" Rachel explained. Santana just nodded silently as she poured them the coffee, hoping it was still hot enough "I can't have him knowing, I can't have anyone knowing" she told the Latina as she came back over to the table with the coffee.
Santana did want to point out that people would know about this, once this is handed over to the police. She didn't though; worried it would scare Rachel into hiding, further "I won't tell anyone"
"G-good" The victim wrapped her hands around the cup of coffee.
Santana settled down opposite her and pulled the note pad closer to herself "So... what happened?" she wasn't sure how to start, but figured that was as good a way as any
"I don't know how it all..." Rachel closed her eyes and took a deep shaky breath. There was no use saying she didn't know; only saying what she did was going to help. "Okay, I was at the train station, saying good bye to Quinn" her mind took her back to the moment hours ago
Even for this time in the evening, the subway station was bustling with various people "You're not going to walk home are you?" Quinn asked, concerned. On their walk there it had been secluded in places, creepy even. Why hadn't she listened to Quinn?
"It's only a few blocks" Rachel waved off, it was no big deal. She wandered around the night time streets, alone, before.
She dropped her luggage, bag, to the floor by her feet so she could talk, without it digging into her arm "Rachel, I don't like to think of you wandering around the city at night" she scolded.
"I'll take a taxi" she conceded, though it was a lie, just to comfort her friend.
Quinn grabbed her purse that was slung over her shoulder, she unzipped it, searching for something "Here, let me give you some money for that" she tried to offer.
But of course, Rachel was having none of that "No Quinn, no. I've got it..." she brushed off; she couldn't take anymore of Quinn's generosity. She'd been so nice with her; she'd paid often too, probably because she felt sorry for Rachel, the brunette imagined "so I had a really great weekend"
"Me too" she smiled brightly back, before it faded again "Sorry about your break up with Brody"
"I'm not, it was time to just quit with him... doesn't mean I don't feel bad about it" she muttered, guiltily. She then forced herself to brighten up again. She'd just had a really great weekend, with a great friend "Thanks for this weekend. Although I'm going to be on my elliptical for several hours over the next week burning off all the ice cream I ate" Rachel teased.
"Hey, I'm gonna have to run a marathon, so your fault Berry" Quinn teased, right back. She then saw the board above Rachel's head and heard the approach of the train "Oh damn, that's my train" she sighed. She'd only stayed the one night, only been there two days; it definitely hadn't felt like long enough
"You take care Quinn" Rachel told her "And visit again soon"
"I will. And you be careful out there, Rachel" she closed the space between them and enveloped the smaller girl in her arms. Quinn wasn't often a hugger, but when Rachel did get hugged by her, it just made her feel closer to Quinn, and not in the obvious way. It made her feel Quinn felt she could trust her and open up to her. She knew the blonde had had her own troubles in life, already, so if she trusted Rachel that was a big deal to her.
Rachel's mind was paused on that moment, in Quinn's arms. That hug was the last time she felt safe, she really hoped she'd feel like that again, some day.
"Then I was walking home... I don't know, I heard footsteps closing in behind me, I turned but all I saw was a hand, maybe a cloth in the hand heading for my face and then I c-couldn't scream , I tried to breath but whatever it was... it was sickly sweet and... I p-passed out..." she explained slowly, she wanted to close her eyes and hide but if she did she was sure she'd see the whole thing play out, again, in her head like a horror movie, "I-I-I, H-He-..."
"Take your time, its okay" Santana's voice actually soothed her.
Rachel swallowed thickly, and nodded, before finding the courage to continue "I... I came to but... it's hazy you know... I was cold and he was touching me all over... and h-he oh god Santana, he was in-... I can't"
"It's okay, I get it" the taller girl spared her having to describe that, she was pretty sure she didn't need much of a description in that part anyway. She just noted it down and continued "Did you get a look at the guy?"
"I-I don't know" She had to close her eyes, this time, to think "I don't think so, it was dark"
"Okay good" Santana nodded and continued writing "Could you make out anything in the room?"
"Um... I don't know, maybe there was low light, maybe a window, behind him... it felt like it was moving as-as h-he did" she screwed up her bruised face, not even sure if that made sense. She didn't know how she'd been drugged, or what with, it must have made her think the room was spinning though... how could a room move, otherwise
"Okay, good" Santana just nodded
"That doesn't help you!" Rachel snapped, making Santana make eye contact with her, instead of with the damn note book. The crazy couldn't have set in already; she couldn't already be over thinking could she. If Santana couldn't look at her, is that what other people would be like, if they found out.
"No but it might help a cop who knows what to do with these details" she explained, making sure to look Rachel in the eye "What else, sounds, smells?" she prompted for more details.
"I could only smell the same sickly sweet smell that he put over my mouth and nose..."
"Okay" maybe that's what he used to knock her out, something on the cloth Rachel thought she saw when he struck, and again.
"And he was taller than me" Rachel added, before she snapped again "Don't go there!"
"Go where?" Santana looked back at her confused
"I know what you were thinking 'everyone's taller than me'" she accused, as tears brimmed her eyes again.
"I was not" Santana defended, she might have thought that in any other moment in time, but not tonight. Not when that light that used to shine in Rachel's eyes was gone.
"You were" Rachel narrowed her eyes at her, for a moment it was almost playful, but it didn't last, especially when Santana changed the tone again, with that soft, almost alien, voice.
"This is really serious Rachel, I'm not going to sit here and joke around" she laid the note pad flat on the table top, to reduce the barriers, she knew Rachel had to feel secluded right now, not that she was an expert "How much taller?"
"I'm guessing... average height... I saw his outline; he's slim, short hair. I know that doesn't help, there's millions of people like that" Rachel mumbled, losing a little more hope.
"Still excludes a million others" The Latina reassured her "You're doing good... did he do anything... like anything that might be, ah, distinct?"
"I-I don't think so... he beat me, but I heard that's consistent with most rape cases. I wasn't awake long before he shoved the cloth over my mouth again and that's it... you woke me up" her eyes suddenly widen. She'd been so focused on what actually happened, and then what she was doing now she forgot about the bit in between "Outside my apartment, he knows where I live!"
"You didn't come home yourself?" Santana checked as guilt started to brew in the pit of her stomach.
"No, I was with... him, and then you were waking me up!" she shrieked, unintentionally. It was like all the panic from earlier, that she'd been unable to express, was escaping now.
"Shit" Santana seethed
"What?" Rachel just asked worried, she needed to know how Santana was feeling, was she as scared as she was right now.
"If if I'd been faster, I could have seen him, stopped him" she voiced her realisation, with that guilt "Fuck. Rachel, I am so, so sorry"
"It's not your fault... I should have got a taxi" a sudden sob escaped her mouth.
Some strange, weird instinct kicked in. She was up out of her seat and by Rachel's side, crouching next to her as she carefully wrapped her arms around the other girl "It's okay, It's gonna be okay"
"How can you say that?" Rachel turned her head, burying it into Santana's neck. She thought the last thing she wanted right now was human contact, she was sure she'd be pushing the other girl away but there was something serenely comforting about Santana by her side.
"I got you now, I'm not going to let anything happen to you" the words were almost automatic, like she just thought that was the right thing to say "we'll move, all four of us"
"What?" Rachel sniffed
"That way when Kurt goes away you won't be alone. Let's face it if we pooled our money we could afford a little more space between the four of us... at least that's what we'll tell Kurt"
"Sa-Santana, I don't know what I'm going to do" she snivelled
"Well you're going to take the evidence in first thing in the morning; I'll go with you-"
"No... Thanks but no, I'll do it by myself" she cut Santana off; she didn't need someone holding her hand, or someone breathing down her neck. She'd have to brave the outside eventually, so taking the bag would be the best encouragement to go out the next day.
"Okay, but I'm going to be here for you, okay? We don't have to tell anyone. We'll take this all one day at a time. Take some time off sick too, okay?" she asked again. The word 'okay' was becoming a little redundant "At least until the bruises fade, so you don't get asked questions... I'm sure you don't want more questions right now"
"Okay... what do I tell Kurt, I can hide the ones on my... abdomen and arms... a-and down there, my legs and stuff, but th-the black eye" she whimpered as she clutched at Santana's arm.
"We'll make something up, I did it or something" she shrugged lightly
"I don't think even you could hurt me like that" Rachel half chuckled, proof that she was still herself, that and her emotions were like a stormy ocean right now.
"We'll make it an accident, I opened a cupboard door and it hit you or something, it happens" that's the best she could come up with, while staring at the kitchen cupboards, on the wall opposite "You think he'll question me?"
"No... He's still a little scared of you" Rachel muttered
"What about you?" Santana asked, just out of curiosity
"No... not when you're holding me like this" Rachel tried to breath calmly, she was calmer and more relaxed than she had been a moment ago, but still nowhere near her usual self, unsurprisingly. She did keep wondering how long it would take; weeks, months, years? It was different for every victim, right?
"You don't mind, right now... being touched" Santana asked, with the same curiosity, but with more caution.
"N-not by you..." Rachel shivered "your touch is soft" she was tense and Santana could feel that, but she wasn't running, so she must have wanted to be held, so Santana stayed.
...
Rachel did manage to sleep eventually; exhaustion took over in the end. She didn't think she would sleep at all, until Santana said she'd stay by her side all night. And she did, she let Rachel sleep cuddled up next to her. She chose sweat pants and a sweatshirt that night, to make her feel safer too. She asked Santana how she could stay, and what about Brittany. She just explained that Brittany would be fine, and she'd told her girlfriend that Rachel was sick, so she had an excuse in place. Rachel thanked her for that, Brittany couldn't know, it was the kind of reality that would destroy her cotton candy world.
...
When Kurt got back they told him Rachel had got mugged, and they weren't telling Brittany. That way he was sympathetic, but he didn't smother her with worry and friendly affection.
The two nights after the one where... when Santana stayed, she barely slept. She wore the sweatshirt and sweatpants again. They made her feel safe, like she could hide in them. She also wore sneakers, ready to run if she had to. And her dresser was pulled across the doorway. She only slept when she really couldn't keep her eyes open anymore.
...
A further week later, while Kurt was at the academy, in class, Rachel heard a knock at the door. She froze, afraid of whom it could be, she didn't let anyone into the building, so how had they got in. She felt like she was suffocating-
"Hey Berry, got you some coffee" she heard Santana's voice, muffled through the barrier, and was able to breathe again. She remembered it was Santana's day off, a Wednesday. She worked really late on the Tuesday so she chose Wednesday as her day off.
She opened to door to let the other girl in and her hand was immediately met with a paper cup of coffee. Santana was also carrying a big bag... which looked worrying. "Thanks" she said for the coffee, as she stepped out of the way to let the other girl in and locked the door again behind her.
"How did you sleep?" Santana asked as she selected a seat on one of the basic sofas.
"Not too well" Rachel mumbled as she joined the oddly kind hearted young woman. Why the change? Rachel couldn't be completely sure; she found it hard to believe Santana would change her opinion on someone so drastically, for a reason so... well, drastic.
"You know, if you let me tell Britt what happened, she'd let you sleep over with us" Another weird thing, she was suggesting Rachel disturb her time with Brittany.
Rachel's answer was still no, she couldn't have anyone knowing, Santana only knew because she found her "Oh yeah, and you'd just love that" she muttered sarcastically instead.
"I'd feel better knowing you were actually sleeping" she admitted dumbly
"Why do you care, Santana? You've never given a damn about me before" she sighed and leant back in her own seat.
"I just do, okay Rachel. I give a damn, I care, because... I just do" how could Santana not, even she wasn't that heartless. Sure, maybe it was all based on pity, but that didn't mean Rachel didn't need her "...I bought Brittany a rape alarm" she added lightly, letting Rachel know just how much it had affected her too
"Oh... good" she nodded, then took a sip of the scolding coffee. She then picked a story that took her back, "You know, my dad's-" she wasn't sure how she could ever tell them "-over protective as always, gave me a-"
"Rape whistle?" Santana had remembered it being mentioned before. They'd mocked her for it, but Santana deep down had thought how lucky Rachel was that her dads were that protective. She pulled one out of the duffle bag, still in its plastic packaging, and presented it to Rachel "Just... just to help you feel like you can walk down the street again"
"Th-thank you Santana" she placed her coffee cup on the table so she could take the gift, it was a little too late, but that wasn't Santana's fault "I no longer have the one my dads gave to me... so thank you"
"I also got you this" she reached into the bag and pulled out something much bigger, Rachel almost laughed, almost.
Instead she quirked an eyebrow at the item "A baseball bat?"
"Yeah, I know when I was 13 and my house got broken into, I felt so... scared" No one had known about that, she never told anyone, except Brittany. It wasn't very Santana Lopez to admit she was scared "Made me realise it could happen again. I mean they just came right in, took half the stuff that was worth anything, and left. But they could have hurt us too, we had no clue they were there, nothing would have stopped them. Anyway, I slept with a baseball bat under my bed until I left; now it's under the bed I share with Britt. Just thought... anything to help you sleep, right?" she passed it over "And none of that aluminium shit, you wanna do some real damage, a good old wooden one is better"
"Thank you" it was another strangely sweet, and unexpected, sentiment from the girl who used to make her life hell
"It's nothing" she shrugged, and went back to the coffee "But if there's anything else..." she trailed off, leaving the offer open.
Rachel nodded and put the bat down, Santana was right; it would make a good weapon, as well as it being popular sport equipment, so it wasn't obvious it was a weapon. "Are we still looking at apartments next week?" she asked. Rachel hoped the sooner she could move the sooner she could start feeling safe again.
"Yeah, Britt's actually picked out 2 for us to look at, a little bit higher in our price bracket, but top security, alarmed windows and stuff" Not to mention actual security camera's, not just dummy cams, glued to the wall.
"Sounds good, If we go over, I'll pay the extra, monthly" she immediately put that forward, as she felt she was causing all the hassle
"Don't worry about it, Berry. I'm making the most money at the moment, anyway" Santana brushed it off. She was kinda looking forward to moving anyway, she felt vulnerable here too now, for herself, Rachel, and not to forget Brittany, of course. "We won't go over what we're spending on two, two bedroom apartments anyway, when we're looking for a three bed"
"Kurt's annoyed with me, thinks I'm being over dramatic 'even for me'" Rachel admitted. Kurt had been supportive at first, and with the basic stuff, but wanting to move her thought was too much, for a mugging.
"Let the queen get on with it, he'll calm down eventually, if not, he'll have to answer to me" she just saw Rachel bow her head, ashamed of all the trouble she was causing "You okay?"
"Yeah... thank you for being there for me"
"It's okay... you heard anything from the cops yet?" she asked lightly. It had only been two days, but sometimes things happened fast, she could get some sort of answer soon
"No... Nothing yet" Rachel shrugged "I didn't have much to give them... I'm not getting my hopes up"
"And the clinic?" she pushed. She had to make sure Rachel got tested, if she had anything they would be able to make her better before it destroyed her.
"Got the call an hour ago, I'm clear" she smiled. At least that was one less thing to worry about.
Santana found herself biting her lip as she watched Rachel staring at her paper coffee cup "... Proud of you" she muttered, almost hoping the other girl didn't hear.
"What?" Rachel spluttered in surprise.
"You went to the police... a lot of, those kinds of cases don't get reported" she smiled sadly "So, I'm proud of you" she repeated, louder this time, with no doubt or shame.
"Um... thanks" was all Rachel could awkwardly say.
"You heard from Quinn lately?" she asked, trying to move the conversation along.
"No, the last I heard was a message saying she got back to Yale okay" she just sipped at her coffee some more "I'm not surprised"
"Why? Thought you and Q were... really good buddies" she chose her words carefully, instead of outright teasing, like she could have with all those photos on Rachel's' camera. That would just trigger bad recent memories for both of them though, so she went the other route.
"Yeah... the past few months her emails have been a bit... like she's diverging the conversations sometimes... she's probably bored with me" she just shrugged again.
"I'm sure it's not that, she's probably just busy" "it's only just been a week, give it some time yet" Santana reassured her as bile bubbled in her stomach, yeah this being nice thing, just might kill her in the end.
"Good point" Rachel added. Then something occurred to her, she checked the time, before looking to the other girl curiously "don't you normally meet Brittany after her first class, around now?"
"Yeah... she's hanging with some of her dance friends, not my scene. Wondered if you'd wanna go jogging with me" her plans finally came to light.
"Jogging? ... why?" not that that was a foreign thing to Rachel, she had gone running with Santana and Brittany before, when Kurt was sleeping in and had complained about the noise her elliptical made through the thin walls in their apartment. Though she'd never complained about the noises he'd made with his boyfriend... when he had one.
Santana started out like she didn't have an ulterior motive "Oh you know, get you out, get you some air, and moving fast, with me right there. It's also cold so no one will look at you weird if you're in your leggings and long sleeve gym gear" then she dropped the truth.
"I don't know... there are people" Rachel hesitated, finding her cup more interesting, again.
"Lots of people, exactly what you need" Santana told her "you can't stay in here forever"
Santana was right, so Rachel started going out again, more often, and for more casual reasons. She also went back to class but she always felt worse there because eyes were actually on her when she was giving a performance.
...
About 2 months later and Rachel was getting some of her confidence back. Also she and Santana were becoming much closer friends, almost like normal friends. Brittany seemed to like that too, sometimes, and other times she sounded like she was getting a little jealous as Santana was spending less time with her. She didn't dislike Rachel or anything though, just suspicious of why they were such good friends all of a sudden.
"Hey, what you doing here?" it was Santana's turn to be surprised, as she looked up from the receptionist desk and saw Rachel walking in "I told you I can't get you a discount, sorry Berry" she warned.
"No, it's not that, my lesson got cancelled" or rather, she didn't show up, yet again "Thought I'd drop by, bring you some lunch" she dropped polystyrene box in front of her friend.
"Oh thanks..." she smiled "come sit" she gestured to the spare seat, with her, behind the desk.
"Behind the desk?" Rachel quirked an eyebrow playfully as she stepped round the desk and settled down with a second polystyrene box.
"Yeah, I can't leave" she's already had a lunch less lunch break, choosing to use the gym gear instead, as she was allowed to during her breaks "you might as well hang around with me" she explained, she didn't mind the company.
"What's this?" Rachel furrowed her brow at the flyer next to Santana; as she sat down to join her for lunch.
"Oh, some new evening class thing, self defence, was gonna bring the flyer home tonight" she said distractedly as she realised Rachel had actually bought her something non-vegan.
"Really?" Rachel's eyes scanned over the flyer, quickly reading the information.
"Yeah, would you be interested? It's only basic street defence" and a beginners class, but that seemed perfect for Rachel "Thought maybe you, me, and Britt could take a few classes" she deliberately excluded Kurt, he was getting more distance by the day
"Yeah I'd like that"
...
It was maybe another 4 months later, in their shared apartment, when Santana found Rachel in the kitchen. She had been slightly startled because she thought she was the only one left in the apartment, but no Rachel was sitting there, writing something.
"Berry? Don't you have class?" she started searching the cupboards for a snack to take, they really needed to go grocery shopping. Santana was all dressed for the gym day job too, bag over her shoulder in case she wanted a little work out of her own.
"Yeah... I did" Rachel said absently, as she kept writing "I quit"
"You what?" Santana had never been more relieved to not be holding something fragile, or be halfway through eating or drinking that at this point. She looked to the girl, giving her the most peculiar look
"Quit..." she said again plainly, she dropped the pen and leant back in her chair "I haven't told my fathers yet, they're going to hate me" she sighed, deep down she didn't care. NYADA wasn't working anymore; but her new plan would "Kurt already does"
"Is that why he stormed out of here this morning?" everyone who hadn't been awake, was when Kurt slammed the front door like a child, that morning.
"Yeah"
She had to say something; she was the only one who could vaguely understand. She dropped her bag to the floor and slid into the seat opposite the still vulnerable young woman "Rachel, this isn't you"
"I know... I just don't feel like me anymore"
Santana nodded slowly, okay she could understand that. Maybe she should have pushed the counselling idea to Rachel more; maybe she should have pushed her to go, to help her get through this. Her eyes trailed down, catching a glimpse of the paper work in front of Rachel "What the hell is this?" she grabbed at the top page pulling it closer.
"I would explain to you but I wouldn't want to insult your intelligence as I'm pretty sure you can read" Rachel was in defensive mode, after Kurt's verbal attack it just sort of washed over her, and she was now stuck like that.
"Berry, it's for the New York Police Academy" she checked, to make sure Rachel really knew what she was signing up for.
"You are correct" she nodded bluntly.
"Is this serious?" when she thought about it, Rachel wasn't one to start ideas and not follow them through.
"I thought about it Santana... I can't stand on a stage anymore, I just feel... exposed. What if I could make it on Broadway?" the question wasn't really supposed to be answered, it was more rhetorical.
"You know you could" Santana had spent years tearing her down, but that didn't mean she didn't believe Rachel was capable of succeeding, and living out her dreams.
"But... I don't think I can, I don't think I want to... people would know me, they might even get to know where I live, Santana- Wha-What I-if some-s-" Rachel started to tremble again, for the first time, in front of Santana, since that night.
"It's okay" Santana hushed
"No it's not" Rachel wiped her tears on her sleeve "That's why I want to do this"
"...If this is about getting a gun we can get one" Santana just checked, maybe a baseball bat and a rape whistle wasn't enough.
"No, no its more than that, I want to make an actual difference. I don't want people to go through what I went through, I want justice" she explained. For Rachel this was a chance to make a real difference, yeah, sure, maybe an underappreciated difference, but a difference that really matter
"Okay" Santana nodded, seeing the same clarity Rachel was, and understanding where she was coming from "Where did you get that application form?"
"Why?" Rachel furrowed her brow
"Might apply with you" she tried to play it cool; yeah, the usually bad girl was thinking about being a cop.
"Really? Why would you do that?"
"I got no ambition, nothing to aim for; I just work two jobs so I can stay here and keep Brittany comfortable" she admitted "So let me try with you, no competition or anything, just... let's try"
Rachel beamed, like really beamed. She got Santana an application, and the Latina filled it in when she got home that night.
...
When Kurt found out he thought she was crazy, he thought she was over reacting. Their friendship didn't last much longer, and he moved out. Rachel was sad, Santana not so much. They put Rachel's elliptical in the, now, spare bedroom, and slowly added a few other pieces of gym equipment, creating their own gym space.
Rachel and Santana did join the New York Police Academy, they also graduated. Their confused, but still proud, parents were there on the day of their graduation, 6 months after they'd started at the Academy. Rachel's fathers had surprised her with their support, thought she knew secretly they were a little disappointed with how much she was throwing away. It wasn't long before Santana and Rachel were based at the same precinct. A couple of years later when they were told they were no longer rookies, they were partnered together, and the pair just exceeded all expectations.
3 years after graduation they made detective, another year after that they moved to the Narcotics unit, and stayed there for three years. Now, a little over 7 years, since they started at the academy, 7 and a half years since Rachel's rape, they were about to take another step
...
The pair were sat in their inconspicuous sedan, on a dark, damp, night time street, waiting... and waiting. Detective Lopez and Detective Berry had been working on this case for over a month and this was their window of opportunity. They had caught some guy, in a drug ring, and their ADA had made the guy a deal if he helped them out. They had him standing on the corner, with one of their disguised detectives, who could pass for the guy's 'friend'. There was supposed to be a trade tonight on this dark street corner, cash for the drugs. The cash was ready and tagged, so they could trace it. The Detectives, and the S.W.A.T team waiting in the van a couple of parked cars behind them, would be led straight to the organisation.
"So... I found something in your desk earlier, a certain application form" Santana commented lightly, getting bored of the silence.
"Santana!" Rachel whispered harshly, she couldn't very well raise her voice if she wanted them to stay unnoticed. "Why were you going through my desk?"
"I needed a pen..." she shrugged as she watched the other car, with their mark and their friend waiting on the other side of the intersection "and a snack. By the way those granola things; Yuk"
"Gee, thanks" Rachel muttered sarcastically.
"Anytime" she smirked to herself, behind the driver's wheel "So you wanna apply for the SVU department?"
"Yeah" Rachel admitted shyly. She had planned on telling her best friend, and colleague, before she actually handed it in "There's a couple of places going, since Stabler left... you know after the shooting incident at the 16th precinct, I thought what was the harm in maybe putting forward an application"
"...Okay" Then Santana said some words that reminded Rachel of just over 7 years ago "You got another application form?"
"Santana? You'd really try with me?" she grinned, like crazy; she'd really hoped Santana would want to go with her.
"You think I'm going to let our awesome cop duo get split up?" she punched her playfully in the arm.
"There's a second form in my desk" Rachel made it clear she anticipated that Santana would want one. And that made Santana feel wanted, Rachel didn't want to go behind her back, or plan to leave her.
"Okay then... we're applying for SVU..." Santana said aloud, making it real
"Well there's a psyche evaluation first... sex crimes isn't an easy one" Rachel muttered, she knew it was voluntary, and they were often looking for staff because some people couldn't handle it.
"But its personal" Santana didn't really ask, just assumed
"Well..." Rachel trailed off
"No I get it, your case went cold" Over time they hadn't exactly become comfortable talking about it, but there was more acceptance that it had happened. Rachel hadn't made the progress she should have, but she'd made enough to get on with many aspects of her life.
"And it's been 7 years, after 5 years there can be no prosecution" Rachel added
"No, that new law went into effect, there is no time limit in New York state for apprehending, arresting, and prosecuting rape in the first degree, the same as it is with murder charges" Santana corrected, sounding very knowledgeable.
"Santana, I had no idea you kept so up to date on those kinda laws" Rachel sighed surprised, she was mostly poking fun as she tried to avoid the actual subject.
"Well working close with Abbie Carmichael on our cases meant I thought I should keep up to date on any changes to prosecuting laws..." she took her eyes off the other car to quirk an eyebrow at the other girl "I'm surprised you didn't"
"I did on some areas, mostly drugs... seeing as that what we're focused on" she reasoned, of course she knew all the laws, off by heart, that were relative to their jobs but there were so many, it was hard to keep up.
"Well I like to keep up to date on your case, I know it's gone cold but who knows, if we get these SVU places we might be able to catch that bastard after-" she stopped when she noticed Rachel was squirming "Sorry Berry... I know it still makes you uncomfortable"
"7 Years and I'm still not over it" she scoffed to herself, thinking she was just pathetic.
"You never got closure... or counselling, I should have made you go" Santana blamed herself too.
"It doesn't matter now" Rachel tired to brush off, she wasn't fooling her partner though.
"I know all your habits Berry. As a roommate it's hard to miss them..." she watched the other woman's reaction "Brittany asks me why you have that night time routine but-"
"You can't tell her" she interrupted with her adamant tone.
"I won't, I couldn't do that, she's... she's not stupid-"
"I know that, that girl can see into my soul sometimes, I wonder if she already knows" Rachel chuckled, but it was partially to hide her vulnerability.
"She doesn't know... she just thinks you have OCD" Santana shrugged, at least that's what she'd suggested to her girlfriend when she was asking too many questions. She didn't want Brittany knowing either.
"I guess I do" Rachel shrugged, OCD seemed to be fitting.
"I couldn't tell her the truth, it would damage that fluffy happy mind of hers, and I need her all fluffy like that for when I get home" Santana chuckled. Dealing with druggy scum all day was made better by the beautiful light minded woman at home. "... What if one of us gets it and the other doesn't?"
"Then... it's up to you, if you don't get it, I'll stay here with you" Rachel decided. She wasn't leaving her partner behind.
"Same then, like I said, can't have our awesome cop duo get split up" she smiled
"I don't think we'll still be partners, though" Rachel admitted reluctantly "They're looking for partners for Benson and Tutuola"
"You know them by name?" Santana was terrible at remembering names unless they were guys they worked directly with. I guess they both surprised each other, Santana remembered laws, Rachel remembered names.
"We've all crossed paths before, remember?"
"Maybe..." Santana trailed off as she spotted movement. "Hey... check this out..." A black SUV pulled up on the corner where the other car, with the set up was waiting. They watched as some guys got out, and then the undercover detective and their guy got out of the other car... words were exchanged.
"Is he taking it?" Rachel asked for confirmation, so she knew it wasn't just her seeing these things. One of the men from the SUV checked the money... he didn't find anything untoward.
"... Yep, drop made" Santana confirmed as she watched the people get back in their cars and the black car drive away again. Santana then started the car and prepared to follow the other car at a distance, so she'd be an entire block out of sight, meanwhile while Rachel prepared to direct, if they needed the tracer at all
Rachel pulled out her radio as Santana pulled out of the parking space "Van in position, we are on the move, heading south bound" the van that was parked a few cars behind them, came to life too, following them as inconspicuously as possible.
They followed the car to a warehouse near the docklands. Once the men were inside they pulled up quietly outside. The S.W.A.T team unloaded and Detectives Lopez and Berry, already in their bullet proof vests, and with their hand guns ready, got in position leading the group. As they started to surround the building, police cars and vans showed up, ready to help make the arrests and assist in the apprehension. Officers got into place behind the S.W.A.T team members too, handguns ready, Kevlar vests securely on.
As soon as they gave the order, the S.W.A.T team broke down the door, the building was rushed, and the men inside quickly bought to a standstill, without a single shot being fired.
The two young detectives made it look simple, as the system was shut down in minutes. Another job well done, that they would be congratulated for, back at the precinct. They only wondered what they could accomplish with the Special Victims unit.
Let us know what you think... I think...