Total Eclipse of the Heart: Prologue – Deep Sky, Dark Thoughts: In which someone contemplates past events.
By
Deborah (Kosagi) Brown

Skies of Arcadia and all associated characters are copyrighted to Overworks and Dreamcast. They just hang around my Gallery to cause trouble.

Falling.

Falling.

Falling.

Falling Damnit, is there ever a bottom?

Falling still. This is actually getting monotonous. Oh, lookey there. A fish. A whole school of them. Joy.

Falling Maybe I'll just fall straight through to the other side of the world? No. Highly unlikely.

Falling.

Falling So dark. Cold and empty. Fina why

Falling But I know why. They were the strong ones. It was supposed to be they who fell. They who died. Not him and not me. So why is it they won? With their compassion, their caring, they all should have died. I would hate them. Hate them with all the strength left to me Except

Falling. Nothing left but the clouds of Deep Sky below me. Surely nothing but ancient and deadly beasts live so deep.

Falling I would hate Except there is nothing left of me but this tiny fragment. No feelings, just memories of pain and anger. Memories of loss. Where did it go wrong? Where did it all go wrong Somewhere in the Shrine, shining silver upon a corrupted world? In Valua? He couldn't have been wrong, could he? Not my Lord. Not Galcian Nothing could defeat my Lord. Nothing

Falling. Fading into nothingness the deeper I go. The further I fall from my Silver Moon's light, the less there is of me. It will almost be a relief, I think, the ending of consciousness. The ending of everything that I ever was.

Falling Nothing could defeat him? Well that's just plain stupid, isn't it? Of course something could. Someone did. Somehow, against everything I have ever believed, the weak defeated the strong. How could that be, though? Those pirates and Belleza. She loved him. She sacrificed herself to destroy him. Why?

Falling. Why would she sacrifice herself to his destruction? Some vague memory flickers. He sent her to save Valua. Didn't he? But the truth, hidden behind walls in my mind reveals itself slowly. He sent her to die. Sacrificed her with no reason other than to be rid of her doubts. And if I had doubted him? If I had showed concern or compassion for my sister Fina, what would have happened then?

Falling. I want to say he would have trusted me, but I know I would be wrong. I don't understand. I can't understand. How could I not have seen this before? How could I not know what he was? That he was a betrayer of trust, loyal only to his own needs. A user, seeking out each weakness and turning them to his ends. I want to scream my anguish out, but I have no voice. Let the winds that begin to catch and howl at me be the voice of my rage, then. Let them be the eternal cry of the damned. I have been betrayed, not just by my Lord but by my own Self. And I do not know why.

Falling The last light fades, leaving only the storm that rages eternally in the darkness of Deep Sky. Tossed and battered, flung here, then there, I would be dizzy, had I a body. As it is, it's the only thing of interest in my existence. Flung on the maelstrom, lightning striking me now and again, re-energizing the crystal that has become all of my existence. I begin to realize. I'm going to have a long time to think about my mistakes. A long time to ponder where things went wrong. A long time to remember and to contemplate. I do not know why I have done what I have done. I do not know why I have betrayed all that I once believed in. I do not know why I betrayed all that I once loved. All for one who would have betrayed me in turn. There is only one thing I do know

Falling. Lost in the depths of Deep Sky, my sins have come due. I will fall forever.

I barely feel the hand that catches me up.

To Be Continued

Authorial Note: There will be some light Shonen Ai in this story, but it certainly isn't the focus. None the less, if such things offend you, you may as well wander off now.