Wesker and Ada's Day Off
Storyline: Wesker is in dire need of a vacation, since all of his evil plans get thwarted from Chris and the others. He plans a trip to the Bahamas, but then Ada wants to go, and thus so do Krauser and Nicholai. Wesker brings them along, knowing he could get away from them once they arrive. Well, come to find out, Chris and the others have come for the very same reason. Now they all must deal with each other while trying to have a good vacation. Nicholai joins a goat worshipping cult, Ada spends lots of money on Wesker's credit cards, and Krauser gets into trouble!
Genre: Humor/Action/Parody with some WeskerxAda, ChrisxJill, BarryxSandwiches, ClairexLeon, Rebecca and herbs…lol. Rated T for some language and awkward moments!
Chapter 1: Fail!
Wesker ripped the teddy bear in half, wishing it was Chris instead. He had a total toddler tantrum, running around his control room in anger. Ada sat calmly in his chair of evil doing, filing her nails. She watched Wesker walk back and forth, making a trench in the floor.
"Did Chris thwart your evil plans again?" Ada sighed, shaking her head.
"Yes! How can such an incompetent fool do so well in destroying my taking over the world plans?" Wesker growled, now smothering the leftover teddy bear under his black boot of evil.
"Because the good guys always win," Ada put in dully.
"Even my sandwich bait didn't work for Barry…all because Chris ate it," Wesker sighed.
"Maybe you aren't putting much effort into it."
"Do you see this teddy bear?"
"Yes, that is Mr. Fluffy…Krauser's teddy bear."
"Do you want to become this teddy bear, with its insides and button eyes scattered across the floor?"
"Not really," Ada answered, smiling.
"Then you should be telling me how great I am doing and that Chris just has dumb luck."
"You are doing great and Chris has dumb luck."
"Say it like you mean it, Ada."
Ada heaved a sigh. "Maybe you should send in one of your BOWs to destroy them. Hell, you are a superhuman with a virus that has kick-ass abilities. You should just be able to rip their heads off."
Wesker tapped his chin. "You would think so…Why don't I do it then?"
"Because you are too busy ranting on your evil plan at the moment, and that gives Chris plenty of time to thwart your plan."
"I don't talk that much."
"You'd be surprised if you watched some of them back. I was there, man you just kept going on like a sixteen year old on a cell phone."
Wesker glared over at his partner in crime. "Teddy bear, Ada."
"Oh, right. Sorry. You are doing a fantastic job my evil honey bun."
"I got it! Bring in my secret weapon!" Wesker laughed.
A door in the dark, creepy control room slid open, and a small form came out. It walked for them from the shadows, its forms lithe and terrorizing. Ada's eyes widened, knowing that if Nicholai and Krauser were here, they would be hiding and whimpering. Wesker continued to laugh maniacally, only stopping to cough and hack because something got stuck in his throat. Out of the shadows came a creature so sinister, it was sure to catch anybody's attention.
Not really, it was just young Sherry Birkin. She grinned and giggled up at Wesker. "Hi Uncle Albert!"
"God that voice is so annoying!" Wesker shivered. "And don't call me Uncle!"
"Okay, Uncle Albert!"
"Isn't she adorable?" Ada laughed. "And she is your secret weapon?"
"Yes, she is. You know why?"
Ada rolled her eyes. "I'm just dying to know."
Wesker snapped his fingers twice. Nicholai and Krauser came walking in. When they saw Sherry, their eyes widened. "No! We didn't do anything wrong!"
"Sherry, why don't you show Ada how you are useful to me. Show her how you make men fall to their knees with your awesome power!" Wesker snickered.
"Okay, Uncle Albert!" she giggled, skipping over to the two large men.
Wesker slapped his face. "When will she stop calling me that?"
"Hey! Mr. Fluffy! What happened to him? I'm going to kick the ass of whoever did that to him!" Krauser barked angrily.
Sherry kicked Krauser in the crotch. The blow made Krauser yelp like a girl and fall to his knees. The Russian was next. Sherry hummed a little song with bright eyes and a smile on her face. Nicholai covered his boys, smiling down at her.
"Hey there, little Sherry! I will get you some ice cream if you don't kick me, okay?"
"And I will give you ice cream for kicking him! Who has the better deal? Kick him and feel the power you have, Sherry!" Wesker yelled.
Sherry was no longer by Nicholai anymore. He looked down, now noticing the young blonde girl glaring up at him. She kicked him in the nuts, moving on to go leave the control room. Wesker yelped, dropping to his knees.
"I'm taking a break, Uncle Albert!"
Nicholai let out a long sigh of relief. Krauser was just now getting back to his feet. He still looked like he was in pain, but he tried to smile over at his Russian comrade. "Nothing like a fresh kick to the testicles in the morning to get the day started."
"I'm glad I was lucky," Nicholai sighed. "She showed mercy to me."
"It was you who tore apart Mr. Fluffy!" Krauser suddenly yelled, enraged. He kicked Nicholai in the nuts. "I'm gonna kick your ass!"
"Knock it off! All of you!" Wesker ordered, getting back to his feet.
Ada looked like she was enjoying every minute of this. Nicholai and Krauser paused in their little dust ball fight. Krauser was chewing on Nicholai's head, but then they slowly moved away from each other.
"Now, I need to come up with a plan so diabolical, it will put Hitler to shame!"
"If he goes on with his crazy antics like this, he is gonna end up like Spencer," Ada heaved, thinking back to her crazy, dinosaur aged employer and founder of Umbrella.
(Cue the Pixar short film where the old man plays chess with only himself and an alter ego, fighting over who is going to win the dentures…even though they are already…you know…his…err never mind…)
Krauser shot his hand into the air, dancing around like an excited elementary student. "Oh! Pick me! Pick me! I got it!"
Wesker rubbed his temples. "Yes, Krauser?"
"How about we try killing Leon instead? He is almost as dumb as Chris! And I hate his guts! I remember this one time when I was pretending to be on his side at the training base that he accidentally went into the women's bathroom, and so I had to go fetch him! Gahahahaha! It was hilarious!"
Flashback
"Leon, you idiot! C'mon, this is the women's bathroom!" Krauser grumbled, finding Leon staring at a tampon and pad machine built into the wall by the sink. He was reading the instructions on the side, looking very much curious. He tapped his chin, somewhat cocking his head like a puppy dog.
"Hmm…meets ADA requirements….Wait! Ada has requirements? Holy Hell!"
End Flashback
Krauser chuckled. "Moron…"
"You are the moron," Nicholai growled. "How about we grab HUNK and we all go for a men's night out? All this work is exhausting and stressful! A good night of partying will fix everything! Ada can stay and baby-sit Sherry!"
Ada glared at the Russian. "Nicholai, I have more balls then you so you would be the one left behind to baby-sit."
Wesker and Krauser started laughing while Nicholai glared right back at Ada. She smiled sweetly, batting her eyelashes.
"Nicholai, are you going to stand for that?" Krauser snickered.
"I guess I am going to have to. I don't want to end up like Mr. Fluffy," he sighed.
"Mr. Fluffy, NOOOOOOOO!" Krauser balled, falling to his knees to wail out his inner remorse.
"I could always let loose another outbreak…where is a location I haven't done yet? How about…hmm…Texas?" Wesker inquired.
"Your cousin Dale Gribble is down there, remember? It would be horrible for him to stand there drinking beers with his pals, Hank, Boomhauer, and Bill and then suddenly for them to see a mob of zombies walking down the street," Ada heaved, shaking her head.
"It's not like I would miss him," Wesker snorted. "He makes my family look out to be a bunch of lunatics."
"That's because all of you are…Dale is just the most simple minded of the loonies," Ada answered.
"Come to think of it, he does owe me a free termination. Those zombie cockroaches in the basement levels are getting horrible," Wesker said, tapping his chin in thought.
Ada grabbed the remote for the large screen that was depicting satellite images and flipped it onto the cartoon channel. Johnny Bravo was playing on the channel, getting Wesker, Krauser, and Nicholai's attention. The dark haired woman chuckled, grinning up at her employer.
"Now if this guy was your cousin, you would totally be set. You look just like each other."
"We do not! How can you compare that idiotic ape to my superiority?" Wesker snorted, folding his arms.
"It's the hair," Nicholai mumbled.
"No, the sunglasses!"
"I say it is the failure," Ada laughed, and then received a death glare by Wesker. Her smile dropped. "I mean…maybe I better turn this off."
She flicked the screen off so they could give Wesker their full attention. Nicholai scratched his head, looking at his boss curiously.
"Why do you where your sunglasses all the time? I mean, look at you! You are inside, it is night outside, and it is dim in here!"
"That's why he runs into stuff all the time," Ada explained.
"I do not! And I have a problem with light sensitivity thank you! See watch," Wesker growled. He pulled off his sunglasses. Immediately Ada grabbed a small, LED flashlight and shone it in Wesker's face. "Ow! It burns! The light burns!"
"So, how about that party?" Nicholai inquired.
"Alright, fine, but first let's do some much needed training," Wesker sighed. "Nicholai, Krauser…run while shooting those targets over there. This should show us your accuracy."
"But we are Resident Evil characters. We can't run and shoot at the same time," Nicholai explained, rubbing his head.
"Oh yeah…hmm…well, I made pumpkin bread if anyone wants some," Wesker said.
"Hell yeah! I'm totally there!" Krauser barked, running over Nicholai to get to the kitchen first.
Ada rolled her eyes, knowing this was going to be a long night with the boys.
A/N: Okay, so I was very bored and hyped up on sugar. I just had to post this first chapter. Now, keep in mind that I am not going to focus on this near as much as the others right now until I can get a few finished. I just wanted to post this chapter to see how popular it will get. If it doesn't do too good, which won't bother me of course, I will just take it down lol. Sorry for all the randomness, but anyways this story was based off of a video on YouTube called "Wesker and Ada's Day Off" by jeanetteRyokuX. You guys should watch it, it is hilarious! XD I was thinking about changing the title to Villain Vacation, but I don't know lol. Anyways, please enjoy! :D