There were forty-five of them piled up here I suppose
The Spirits voice trembled.
W-why are there now forty-six?
Emilia: Ram… Where did Subaru and Rem go? They're safe, right?
Standing by Ram's side, Emilia peered into the area where the Green Room had previously stood. Ram wasn't able to answer her question straight away, even though she knew that her painful silence itself served as an answer.
When the camps had come back together, they were tired and disheveled. But oddly enough, not disheartened. They had important business to attend to, things that couldn't wait to be discussed.
Anastasia: Beatrice-chan, are ya alright? Ah wait, no, it ain't propa' of me to use a word like "Alright". But still, ya haven' gotten ya'self into a panic, no?
Beatrice: …Betty panicking wouldn't mean it'd bring back Subaru and Rem, in fact. Right now, the main issue in question is messing up our first move due to panic, I suppose. I'd specifically like to avoid that, in fact.
Anastasia: First move? By that, do you mean…
Emilia: …Bringing back Subaru and Rem. Taking action for that, yeah?
Anastasia raised her eyebrows quizzically as she tried to question Beatrice. However Emilia interrupted her, still while supporting Ram by her shoulder.
Emilia's amethyst eyes pierced right through Anastasia, her eyes widening in surprise a tad at the intensity of her glare. She wet her lips with her tongue.
Anastasia: Dang, I thought you were gonna be dejected as heck, but that's one helluva' look you've got in your eyes. What d'ya mean?
Emilia:It's really nothing complicated. Subaru and Rem ended up being swallowed by that shadow and taken away from us… Volcanica did drive it away, but he was just a tad too slow. Even so…
Ram: They didn't die from it. I'm sure of it.
While still being propped up by Emilia, Ram opened her eyes and replied. Then she gently touched the part of her on her forehead ― the part where presumably her Oni Clan Horn had been ― as she let out an exhausted sigh. It was what served as the basis of her words, which felt full of conviction.
Anastasia: The Oni Tribe's… Ah, wouldn't that be the sisters' synesthesia? So you're saying that you're linked with Rem-san?
Ram: Yep, that's right. Rem is alive… No clue about Barusu.
Beatrice: Subaru's alright as well, I suppose! Betty can guarantee that, in fact!
Beatrice shouted in anger, almost red in the face, in response to Ram's very Ram-like words. After all, she was Beatrice, the Spirit who'd made a contract with Subaru. Her words did have some credibility to them.
After confirmation between Ram's Synesthesia and Beatrice's contractual powers, the uncomfortable truth emerged. Subaru and Rem were stuck in Vollachia. In the best of times, Vollachia and Lugnica were stuck in a cold war. During the Royal Selection, there was a complete travel embargo between the two nations. Julius was privy to the founding of the treatise himself, and had no choice but to dashed Emilia's hopes of a quick rescue mission.
Ram's sister was stuck in an unknown land with a pervert, and Subaru was in the worst possible place imaginable for him. He was clever, had impeccable timing and a spirit that would never give up. But physically he was weak. They all knew it. Vollachia's violent meritocracy would chew him up and spit him out, if he was lucky.
There'd be no quick and easy way here. Surely Emilia would be in an absolute hurry when thinking about the two people who's status remained unknown…
Emilia: We need to move quickly. We'll receive Volcanica's blood and bring it back to Pristella… Then we'll take the Gluttony we captured to the Royal Capital, ok?
Beatrice: Emilia…?
Emilia: I know Beatrice. I can't help but feel reaaally, reaaally impatient. But we won't be able to help Subaru and Rem out, even if we rush things here… We've gotta remain calm.
Emilia's calm decision surprised Anastasia, just as it seemed she would have gotten into a panic. She gave a resolute nod at Beatrice, also similarly surprised. Her eyes were quivering, her voice was shaking a bit, yet she was giving it her all to keep a grip of herself.
It was just like she was saying I'm not going to fold my arms together and sit back for even a second, if it means getting Subaru and Rem back.
Everyone was in a sullen mood after the meeting. Their friends' lifeforce lay far to the south west of the Tower, somewhere trapped in the violent nation state of Vollachia.
Emilia had made the right choice, and surprised everyone with it. They'd expected her to run around in a panic, leaping down the stairs to head straight to the rival nation to return her knight. But she had, after a deep sigh and more than a moment's thought, made a decision she couldn't have made a year ago.
This… isn't easy. She thought.
Before Sanctuary, before Priestella, Emilia would have still known the consequences of jetting off into the bordering nation state. She'd studied geopolitics every day since coming to Roswaal's mansion. She still would've abandoned everything to save her knight.
What differed between her past and present self was maturity. Through Echidnas Trials she found her origins, embraced herself as 'Just Emilia', and had her own strength and determination catalyzed by someone who actually believed in her. The fruits of her growth had come to save them both in Priestella against the sin archbishop of greed, and in the end conquered the Pleiades Watchtower.
The first person to galvanize her into someone strong and independent was also the only person who'd ever had faith in her. At least until now. The warmth she felt towards him, the confidence she had to make the right decision, and the strength she had to carry on until they met again were not unrelated.
Emilia gained strength, reminiscing about how far she'd come.
Nobody else, not Roswal, not Ram, not even Puck had believed in her. She was eternally grateful for her father, but the uncomfortable truth was that she was stymied by him, he was too worried for her safety, too busy with shielding her from the world to ever have faith that she could grow. In the end, that faith was all she needed.
Her heart warmed at the thought of Natsuki Subaru. Not as a savior, or someone she owed a great debt. But a partner she could trust, and the first person to ever trust her back.
These feelings compounded upon themselves, and she was fully anxious to get to the capitol, Priestella, and then finally take steps to reunite with her distant friends.
But they couldn't leave the tower yet. Not in their condition. The spirit in the green room, a godsend over the past days, had vanished. And everyone was worse for wear.
Emilia and Beatrice were picking up the slack healing Julius, Meili and Ram. Until Beatrice's mana ran almost empty. She generated very little on her own, and the pittance of Mana she collected from Subaru… well that wasn't going to be something she could count on for a very long time.
Nobody was in any condition to head into the Auguria dunes today.
So they waited, healing on rotation between Emilia's bouts of fatigue.
Emilia: Julius, are you sure you're alright to be out and about?
Julius had been pacing around on the fourth floor of the tower since he had gained his second wind. Emilia could've sworn that he'd worn down a pathway of stone in front of the crumbled green room since she'd healed him.
Julius: Don't worry Emilia-sama, I have to admit I'm not in peak condition. But the best thing to do for recovery is to get up a bit and put some blood back into your muscles. I'm only going for a light walk.
Emilia furrowed her brow, but let out a sigh when she realized she couldn't stop him from spinning his wheels.
The Knight of Knights could not sit still and wait. It was not in his constitution, Subaru was right, he really was a 'type A', although the spirit knight had been less than pleased when the boy had explained what the phrase meant. But pacing in circles, he couldn't deny it. He was just like his Lady.
Beatrice and Anastasia also refused to sit around and do nothing.
Julius: Are you sure you're alright to walk around Anastasia-sama?
Anastasia: The heck? Didn't I just hear ya say gettin some blood in my legs was the best way ta' get back in action?
Julius: Yes but—
Anastasia: No buts! I heard it from the Greatest Knight himself, so it's gotta be true ain't it?
She smiled deviously. Julius' self-sabotaging work ethic, his 'Type A' personality, had come back to bite him in the ass. Anastasia was in command of her body again for the first time in months, in a historic place that held knowledge from the great sage himself. She wanted that knowledge. An inkling of a brilliant idea had started to form in her head on how to best exploit this treasure trove. She was a merchant first and foremost, and knowledge was money. And money was power. She was just… greedy that way.
And now it was safe, Emilia and co. captured the tower. It was ripe for the picking.
Anastasia skipped towards the great staircase, with her exasperated Knight in tow. Julius felt a tug on his sleeve, and was surprised to see Beatrice beside him.
Beatrice: Betty should come too. Although Emilia subdued the great dragon Volcanica, and Reid is gone, we shouldn't let our guard down within the Tower in fact.
Julius smiled, he held great respect for spirits. He was aware Beatrice held animosity towards his divine protection of Gathering Spirits, and was pleased at the opportunity to bridge the gap between them.
Julius: It would be an honor, Great Spirit-sama.
He looked ahead at Anastasia who was already challenging the staircase and shook his head.
Julius: It would be wise to have you along for guidance.
Beatrice was not one to associate freely with others, her contractor and specific members the Emilia camp excluded. But she followed the pair. She was sceptical about the Tower's mysteries, but she just needed something to take her mind off the uncomfortable distance between herself and her contractor. So she toddled along, lost for the time being without her person.
Anastasia: Od damnit, there's no end to the bastards.
The petite purple haired girl placed one foot in front of the other, quads burning.
Julius: I can carry you, if you please my Lady.
Anastasi: Ain't no chance in hell.
She puffed angrily. Despite her initial enthusiasm, the stairs were more than the merchant princess had bargained for, and the goings were slow. This suited the spirit just fine, her tiny legs couldn't handle so many flights. And she'd be damned if she rode on julius' shoulders.
The guilt of failing her contractor, and stretching the rules of their contract to the limit bore heavily on her. They'd have to reform their bond when they were reunited, both had broken the terms of the contract. In just under a day, three of the five rules were already null and void. She hadn't held his hand once today. Such a stupid condiion. But it was so important.
After an age had passed, Julius and Anastasia had conquered the steps to the third floor. Beatrice… had not. They could hear the Great Spirit's tortured breathing ascending from behind them. Beatrice was a fan of sweets and lazing about. She had only dropped in on Radio Calisthenics once before deciding they were definitely not for her. In fact the most exercise she'd gotten in nearly half a century came from that cursed bucket game her contractor forced her to play. She still held resentment towards Subaru when she thought about that humiliation.
Anastasia whistled in wonder.
Anastasia: An infinite library, with tales from everyone who's ever died?
Julius: Yes Mistress, but I have to warn you, the nature of those books…
Anastasia: Evil? Cursed?
Anastasia was happy as a clam, infinite books, infinite possibilities. But there was one in particular she was looking for. There wasn't anything Julius could say which would dampen her spirits.
Julius: No, I wouldn't say the texts are evil. But they're not meant for us to tread over lightly. The memories of the dead, it was like I violated consecrated ground. The books are hallowed, but not meant for the living.
He looked at the floor and kept his head low. For him, who had experienced the effects of a Book of the Dead, he felt like he deserved to give the library the respect of a graveyard.
Anastasia paused. She wasn't someone for pomp, circumstance, or much for the spiritual, despite sharing a deep partnership with a spirit. But her knight, from what little she had seen and what Echidna had told her, was someone who held himself to high standards of dignity and grace.
Though honestly, from the description she felt as though he held himself in too high a regard, she wasn't a fan of sticklers. She was in a very good mood, it would be great fun to poke this bear.
Anastasia: I'm not someone who falls for ghost tales, but I get yer point. Still, if whatcha say is true, the library's got a veeeerry special book in it that I miiiiight just halfta' read.
She wagged her finger in the air as Julius and Beatrice frowned. This was going to be trouble.
Beatrice: Huff… What, huff... book, in fact? Your spirit knight is right, the books are not to be trifled with.
The spirit was near the top of the steps and asked whilst struggling.
Anastasia: Ain't tellin'.
Her smile filled both spirit and spirit knight with chagrin.
Beatrice panted with her hands on her knees at the topmost step, only to watch Anastasia twirl with a burst of energy and skip into the great library before them.
Beatrice: You should watch after her I suppose, she is bound to be reckless.
Julius: …. Unfortunately I agree. It seems both our partners are headstrong.
Beatrice: My Subaru is leagues above yours in fact!
Julius laughed
Julius: My lady is prettier, yours… leaves much to be desired.
Beatrice was already red in the face and out of breath from climbing the stairs, and she was unable to respond except with a deep and furious pout. That's not true in fact .
They found Anastasia rifling through the books, tossing them this way and that. Julius' heart leapt out of his throat.
Julius: Lady Anastasia! Treat them with some respect!
He saw in horror as she turned around. She was holding one of the Books of the Dead.
Julius: PUT THAT DOWN!
She turned to face him and smiled, a crooked smile which filled the knight with anxiety. He had a love hate relationship with Anastasia's curiosity, and her grins had conditioned him like a rat in a skinnerbox. This one meant imminent mischief.
Anastasia: I'm only just rememberin' ya, and yer already yellin' atcher' lady! What kind of knight commands his mistress!
Julius: Forgive me.
Julius bowed.
Julius: But for the love of the dragon please don't touch the tomes!
She hadn't opened any of the books, Echidna had told her what she knew about the books, and Anastasia wasn't that stupid in the first place. But playing with Julius' feelings just felt right. The merchant looked him dead in the eyes, then poked the spine of a book.
Anastasia: Boop.
Julius: Anastasia! Please!
He lunged forwards to swat her hand away, only for her to hop back and laugh.
Anastasia: I'm just joshin Juli! Besides, there's only one book in here I'm interested in.
She turned back to the shelves and frowned.
Anastasia: But it looks like this could take hours.
Julius: These are the books of everyone who has died in the history of the world, there are millions.
Beatrice: And no sorting system! Disgraceful in fact.
Her librarian sensibilities were both intrigued and repulsed by the great library. Untold knowledge that put Echinda's library to shame, but organized haphazardly!
Julius: It could take days to find what you're looking it's best we simply respect them from afar….
Anastasia: It would, if it were just lil' old me. But not with your help! Besides, we still got time ta kill before the half-elf finishes fixin up the rest of her camp.
Julius: I feel as though I regret this already…
Anastasia: That's the spirit! Don't worry bout it, the risk to reward ain't even worth considering. What I'm lookin for, well it's the greatest boon any business woman could ever hope fer.
Beatrice: And what might that be?
The spirit was not particularly interested in the contents of Anastasia's book, rather she was already anticipating the trouble that would come from her curiosity, and the knights overwhelming meekness at stopping her.
Anastasia: If we find it, no, when Julius finds it-
Julius sighed
Anastasia: - I'll let you know.
Beatrice: How are we supposed to look for it in fact, if we don't know the name on the book!
Anastasia: Oh, don't worry yer' big ol' forehead about it. Ya wouldn't be able to understand the name anyways. Just look fer anythin ya can't read.
Beatrice touched her large forehead, insecure, but said nothing. Despite her depth of knowledge she was unfamiliar with the antiquated forms of karraragian writing. Nearly all of Echidna's books were written in Lugnican.
What should have been days of searching took a shocking 30 minutes.
Julius: Lady Anastasia, I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for, but I certainly can't read it.
He pointed at a book, lying on a mysterious pile of other texts strewn across the floor.
Anastasia: I called it, there's no way my knight'd miss it!
Julius sighed again, as he was wont to do around his lady.
She called back from a few isles over. Julius heard the sound of small shoes clicking closer on the stone floor, until she stood next to him.
Julius: Well, is this it? I pride myself on my historical knowledge, but I'm not a linguist.
Beatrice: Betty cannot read it either.
Anastasia: That's fine! Neither can I!
Beatrice: WHAT in fact?!
Anastasia: But I recognize it, I've seen it before on artifacts. That's a very special type of Karraragian. A very ancient style of writin'.
The language of Hoshin himself.
On the cover of one book, lying on a large pile of others, was an indecipherable language.
—- 菜月・昴 —-
Anastasia reached towards the book, nearly salivating.
Julius: NO!
He had been on guard, and swiped the book out from under her.
Anastasia: Give it here!
She reached up and jumped as he held it over her head.
Julius: I can't do that Miss Anastasia, I… I remember what it was like to read from a Book of the Dead. I can't in good conscience subject you to the same experience.
Anastasia tried to climb over him but alas, her tiny frame could not match Julius' pure stature.
Anastasia: You ain't subjectin' me to nothing you priss! I'm makin' my own choices! You better not forget yer station.
The last words came out stern.
She climbed down and stared straight up into his face, challenging him. Yes, Julius was looking out for her. She knew that, but from the short time she had known him she had become keenly aware of his protectiveness towards her, bordering on clingy and sexist.
He was her knight, and if this relationship was gonna work from zero he had to remember that.
Julius:...
Beatrice: Your stubborn Knight is right, in fact. You can't even read the name, how can you be so sure that this is the person you're searching for in fact. Even then the risks of reading a book of the dead are great I suppose. Betty shouldn't have to remind you of what happened to her contractor….
The spirit's voice trailed off. It hurt. His mind had slipped away, his promise to her lost, and his sanity had been on the precipice of collapse.
She was sure that only because it was Subaru, her Subaru, that he had found his way back. And now he had left Betty alone again. Subaru broke his promise … She knew the thought was unfair, but Beatrice had been holding herself together as best she could. Self-pity and a bit of unfair blame wasn't much to ask for a moment of reprieve.
Julius: I apologize my Lady, I can't warn you enough not to do this. But I chose to follow you for a reason. I trust you with the kingdom and my life, I can trust you to make your own choices.
Anastasia unfurrowed her eyebrows. He was a talker alright, always could weasel himself into looking good. But she didn't mind it, it was part of his frustrating charm. As long as he understood his place, she'd let it slide.
Anastasia: I know who the book belongs to. He's the only one that ever wrote this language. Ya can see it in preserved copies of his notes.
Beatrice: Whose notes in fact?
Anastasia paused for effect. Hell, this was a historic moment. She'd take a page from Julius' book and give it both the pomp and circumstance it deserves.
Anastasia: This book belongs to Hoshin o' the wastes.
Julius looked incredulous.
Anastasia: I'd stake my life on it. 'Sides, the books only let ya read em' if you have a strong connection with the dead right? I've studied Hoshin all my life, if I can't read it no one'll be able to. 'sides, if it's not him nothin'll happen.
Julius slowly relinquished the book. But he couldn't in all consciousness hand it to her, so he began to set it down pettily on the pile. At the last moment he pulled his hand back.
Julius: Please let me make one request.
Anastasia: Fine, shoot.
Julius: Let me read it first.
Beatrice yanked on her drills and stamped her tiny foot on the ground.
Beatrice: Idiots! All of you! What happens if you end up like my Subaru, was watching him suffer not enough of a warning for you, in fact?!
Julius: Please don't say that Beatrice-sama, I too couldn't stand to see him lose his memories. I consider Subaru a friend, even if he can't say the same. But this is my sworn duty as Anastasia-sama's knight.
Anastasia: All due respect spirit-sama, but we ain't in the same camp. This is our own, internal business. We got our own goals and this is the pinnacle of mine.
She turned to Julius.
Anastasia: Gotcher'self a deal. Won't work for you anyways, you ain't a devoted student of Hoshin like myself.
Julius: It crossed my mind, but this is quite literally, all I can do to ease my concerns.
Julius stared down at the book. His heart was racing. There was no feeling quite like living out someone's entire life. It was not a good feeling. Beatrice gulped, her warranted tantrum drew to a close as the aura of the room chilled to ice.
The Knight of Knights bit his lip, touched the corner with a white glove and peeled back the pages.
Subarus luggage hit the floor.
I've been back in Lugnica for four days. Haven't even made it to the mansion yet.
But after seeing them across the street...
I finally made it home.
Standing across from the hustle and bustle of the capital's main-street were the people he'd been struggling to see for the past year.
Killed by the crazy amazonians and Vollachian warriors in the forest, dying over and over from mana poisoning again and again until Rem figured out how to drain his broken gate. God, asking her was like pulling teeth. From executions and imprisonment, from humiliating himself in front of Priscilla for her help, to finally putting Vincent back on the throne and the long journey home. His loved ones were right there, smiling and laughing.
It was all worth it . Tears welled in his eyes.
They hadn't seen him yet, Emilia had her hand over her mouth, stifling a giggle as Garfiel and Otto argued with each other. Ram stood nonplussed, as usual. Beatrice stood similarly unimpressed with her hand intertwined with Emilia.
Rem: Subaru, why are you crying?
Of course she didn't remember them. Last Subaru knew Roy Alphard had been captured, but was still alive. He didn't want to think of how the kingdom was handling the Archbishop, but judging by Rems stable amnesia it was clear they weren't done with him yet.
Subaru: Rem, it's… it's your sister!
He smiled and shook her shoulders in excitement, trying to get her gassed up.
Subaru: A-all of our friends.
The blue Oni followed Subarus' gaze towards the Emilia camp. She didn't know quite how to respond. Louise, still simple, tugged her forwards by the hand to run into the street. She must've picked up on context cues. But Rem pulled her back and slipped behind subaru.
Rem: Subaru, this is a bit embarrassing to admit, but Rem is afraid.
Subaru: That's ok Rem, I'm sure it's normal, though I guess nothing about our situation is really 'normal'.
He turned to face her and smiled.
Subaru: Ram may have forgotten about you in her mind, but not in her heart. She crossed the Auguria sand dunes just to get her little sister back. At this point if even you were if the first thing you do upon seeing her is fart—
Rem: Rem is a lady! I do not pass gas!
Subaru rolled his eyes.
Subaru: —-she would think you were the best thing since instant noodles. Besides, Emilia's a sweetheart and despite how he looks, Garfiel won't bite. Don't worry, your sister loves you, no matter what.
Rem put the names to the faces Subaru had described in detail for the past year.
Rem: That's what I'm afraid of.
Subaru: I promise he only bites Otto!
Rem: No idiot. What if Rem's not who they want me to be. What if Rem can't live up to their love and expectations? They love the idea of Rem, but not even Rem knows who she really is, maybe she's- oof!
Subaru bonked her softly on the head.
Subaru: I know who Rem is, she is a stubborn, kindhearted girl who gives me endless trouble. Whenever she meets someone, be it a braindead archbishop loli or a scary eyed fool, she helps them. Even, no, especially if they don't deserve it. See if you put it that way, they have to love you!
He held her hand, both breathed deeply in unison. Subaru waved towards the people he'd wanted to see most in the world, towards his adopted bro's and tsundere sister, to the girl he loved and the spirit who chose him.
He gathered his courage.
Subaru: "Hey! Hey! Guys, it's me! Subaru!
At the sound of his name, their heads turned sharply in his direction.
Subaru: I brought a present!
He gestured behind him to Rem, who was timidly holding onto his sleeve.
Subaru: Another adorable maid for the mansion!
He looked down at Louise.
Subaru: And don't be mad Beako, but I brought home another one!
The group froze in place. Emilia covered her mouth with both hands in shock whilst Ram shot towards Subaru. Beatrice ran behind, hiking up her skirt as fast as her little legs could carry her.
Ram collided with the wary Rem, holding her in a deep hug. Louise began to climb on top of the sisters like she was a cat ascending a tree, but Subaru picked her up by the scruff and set her back down.
Subaru: Give em' a second will you?!
Louise chewed on his arm absentmindedly. He winced from her sharp teeth. I took the witch factor out of the girl, but she's still a glutton at heart.
Rem's eyes were wide, and danced up towards Subaru, pleading for help. She was confused and he was her only pillar of support.
Rem: Wait, wait… onee… onee-san.
Ram noticed that her sister was not hugging her back, and pulled away. Perhaps she was hurt, perhaps she was disappointed. But whatever the maid was feeling she hid it well. Hiding pain and discomfort was her specialty, rivaled only by the black haired boy to her right, who in her excitement she'd paid no attention.
Ram: Do you… no. This means Rem does not remember her Ram.
Rem: Rem's sorry, I, I don't really know what to think. I've been told all about you but please forgive Rem. She's very unsure of what to think and feel.
Ram: Everything will be alright sissy. Ram hates to say it but I don't remember Rem, not like Ram wants to. But since Ram first saw you sleeping, she's always wanted to meet her sissy.
Rem started tearing up, there was something deep inside of her that hadn't been consumed by gluttony. Whatever it was swarmed her with unfamiliar emotion. Her head ached.
Subaru: Big sis Ram, I never thought I'd say this but I've missed you. Honestly, I've dreamed of the day both my cute Oni's would be reunited.
Subaru expected Ram's normal harshness, a joke at his perversion or at his general expense. He was even looking forward to it.
Ram must have forgotten about Subaru, her eyes flashed towards him, then she grabbed Rem by the hand and pulled her forcibly away from Subaru.
Ram: Don't come near my sister. Monster.
She glared at him. Her eyes burned with conviction and an emotion Subaru had never seen reflected in their crimson depths before. Fear. Something inside him knew their reunion was 'off'.
Subaru: Hey hey hey, that's not very nice. I brought your sweet sissy back halfway across the world to you! On the way I saved a dying empire and got hurt time and time again! I think I deserve a little praise for once in my life!
Subaru was still hoping this was a bit. He couldn't put together the pieces. She'd never been afraid of him, not even when she thought he delivered a letter of war from Crusche's camp. She'd quickly assumed his idiocy was more likely than his betrayal. Yes, Ram's disdain for him was real, but so was her friendship. Even though she rarely showed it openly. This was just part of their joke, her tough love right?
Ram: I'd tell you to go and die, but it wouldn't do any good.
She pulled Rem behind her, and put an arm around Louise. She didn't even know the child, but the reaction was almost instinctual. Subaru's blood ran cold. Those words, the way she said that. There's no way, no, that's impossible. She's just being harsher than usual. She's too embarrassed to admit she missed me too.
At long last Beatrice had crossed the distance between herself and her contractor. Former contractor, they both had failed to keep up the rules for more than a year.
She plunged straight into him, mirroring Ram's embrace with Rem but with less than half the grace.
Subaru: OOOF! Beako I missed you, but I'm lucky you're a spirit! If you weighed as much as you should—-
He stopped talking, Beatrice was wailing like an infant, mumbling words he couldn't understand. Her face was buried in his shirt, which was rapidly soaked in tears and snot.
Beatrice: I'm sorry I suppose!
That was the only thing he could parse from the rest of the garbled words. Subaru smiled softly and took on a more comforting tone.
Subaru: Shhhh, shhhh it's ok Beako. I'm here now, I'm alright. We have so much to talk about, do you want to hear about my adventures?
Beatrice: How… how could you do it! Forty five, then fifty, and more… so many more. SO MANY! They kept growing, and growing, and growing in fact, even when we had to leave the Tower Betty knew they would just keep stacking on those damnable shelves! Forgive Betty, please, please, please!
She growled into his shirt in grief and frustration.
Subaru: 'Damnable'? That's some harsh language from my sweet Beako. But trust me I'm fine! Look at me, I even have this cool pin from Emperor Vincent!
He tried to show off the shiny, regal award broached on his chest. But Beatrice didn't look up.
Subaru: There's nothing you have to be sorry for, I could never be mad at my Beako! Unless, you found a new contractor?! I will not be netorared!
Subaru was joking, trying to liven up the mood. Staring down at the distraught spirit, Subaru felt horrible. I left her behind…
Beatrice: Betty would never contract again… not ever in fact.
Her words were interspersed with sobs, but they were dead serious.
Subaru: Woah, even after I'm gone? Me and Emilia's long line of children would be your contractors!
The spirit kept crying.
Beatrice: Forty-five, forty-five, forty-five right under Betty's nose. Betty was useless in fact. Completely useless…
Subaru: Beako, don't say that. Look, I'm really sorry for taking so long to come back to you— wait, did you say forty-five?
Subaru was already primed by Ram. Even though it had been a year ago he still remembered when he, no, Louise, read through exactly 45 books of hell.
He took a step back. Beatrice nearly fell but would not let go of him.
Sweat poured down his forehead.
Subaru: Beatrice… what did you do?
The fear took him to another place. A shadow place that haunted him from Lugnica to Vollachia. The Jealous Witch was always watching.
Beatrice knew too much. He felt the phantom sensation of a hand caressing his heart. It was just an evocation of his memory, but Subaru knew that all too soon the skies would darken. The people he loved would be slaughtered, and the streets would run with blood should she be induced to wrath.
Either she would crush his heart, and send him back to god knows where, or she would kill his friends. She would make a world where he had no choice but to return by death.
Beatrice: BETTY DIDN'T KNOW! Please forgive her, for failing you, for letting you—
Subaru shoved his hand over her mouth. His eyes were dancing wildly looking for any sign of dark hands in the shadows.
Subaru: Beako stop! You need to listen to me, whatever you want to say, for the love of god don't. You hear me! STOP!
His voice was raised to the point where Rem became concerned.
Rem: Subaru what's wrong?
Ram: Get AWAY from him Rem!
She growled, and Rem looked back between her only friend and her unknown sister, immensely confused. She was nervous about their reconnection, but this is absolutely not how she thought it would happen.
Even in the face of Subaru yelling at her, Beatrice did not stop. Her muffled voice continued to pour through his fingers. Subaru looked up at Rem, unsure of what to say. I want this to be a good first impression of Rem with my friends, but frankly that's the last thing I'm worried about right now.
Subaru: It would take too long to explain. Beako please!
?: Subaru?
Subaru had dreamed of hearing the chime of this bell like voice for months. But now, the sound of Emilia calling his name was reminiscent of a nightmare. Of the many nightmares where he saw her bleeding from the mouth, a corpse in his arms slain by the Witch for his transgression.
Subaru: Emilia-tan?
Emilia: I can't… I can't believe it's you!
Subaru: Emilia, Emilia-tan please tell me you didn't—
Emilia: I'm so sorry Subaru! All this time, I didn't know, I couldn't protect you!
She ran up to hug him as well. Her beautiful face was contorted into surprise, relief, and anguish. At that moment, Subaru knew two things.
The first was that Emilia knew. How much, and the exact details he didn't want to guess.
The second, was that this life was forfeit.
It would be best to get it over with before the Witch killed anyone.
He couldn't go back in time to stop them from reading the books. His save-point had updated many, many times since then.
He had no idea why they were still alive in the first place, the Witch never granted him any mercy. She'd broken him quickly and strategically, training him to keep 'their little secret' like a dog with a shock-collar. Any time he became complacent, any time he even toed the rules, she'd punished him severely. Or she punished others.
There was a chance that like Roswaal, they'd picked up just enough pieces of the puzzle to stay alive. Subaru would not be the reason they crossed the Witch's threshold of jealousy.
It was a split second decision, but in that second a thousand dead faces flashed in front of his eyes. Tears poured from them. Many of those faces mirrored the ones in front of him.
Subaru pushed Beatrice off of himself, the only time he'd ever laid hands on her in any way but love, turned, and ran.
Emilia: Subaru, wait!
Emilia immediately gave chase.
Beatrice: Please forgive Betty, don't leave her alone again!
The spirit wailed impotently. Beatrice raised her hand grasping at her fleeing contractor. Emilia had just enough wherewithal to scoop her up and bring the spirit with her.
Rem had spent a whole year with Subaru. Knowing nothing, with no background, no allies or friends, he was her only confidant. They had overcome trials and tribulations and both saved each other's lives. Her feelings for him had again blossomed, not into the dependency she felt before the effects of Gluttony. But into a healthy level of teenage infatuation and trust. She couldn't just let him go, not like that. Not crying and in pain.
She tried to run towards him. But her wrist was locked in Ram's impossibly strong grip.
Rem: Sister let go!
Ram: No, don't go near that man. You can't trust him!
Rem tried to twist her arm away. She was much stronger than her sister and she could feel it. But Ram's eyes burned, not in anger but in desperation. Pleading for Rem not to seek out Subaru.
Ram: Please Sissy. Have nothing more to do with him. We can be together again.
Rem: Sister, I hope this doesn't impact our relationship. But I can trust him. I… I love him. I owe him everything, and right now, I don't know you.
Ram began to cry, she grit her teeth as Rem broke free and trailed after Emilia and Beatrice.
Ram: No… not again. Subaru, you can't manipulate us anymore!
Ram slunk to her knees. She felt utterly powerless. She could kill Subaru in a second.
But that would only send him back, arm him with information to poison Rem against her. She could never beat the reality warping monster. The incomprehensible beast that had played her and her camp like a fiddle. The others were taken in by his lies, their minds were muddied with grief. Ram wouldn't fall to his tricks, not again. Not after she began to trust him, then learned the horrific truth.
In the end, there was nothing she could do against the Sin Archbishop of Pride. She slammed her fist on the ground as her long lost sister disappeared into the alleyway.
Compared to a normal man Subaru was athletic. His training with Clind would have made him a parkour champion back home, and he even managed to leverage those skills against heavy hitters like Regulus. But he understood that he could never outrun Emilia.
I can't let her see this.
He pulled a folding knife from his pocket. The slender blade had saved him from torment in Vollachian prisons time and time again. Suicide was never easy.
There was a time Subaru swore he'd learn to love himself. That he'd never do it again.
And then Vollachia broke him. It wasn't supposed to be this way, the pain was supposed to be over when I made it home.
He just had to make it around another corner as tears trailed behind him.
And he did. Subaru had several seconds at best to pull the plug, sink the blade into his carotid artery.
No, that won't be enough . He thought.
Emilia will just heal me, and we'll be back to square one. I need to follow through. Even she can't put a head back on a body. He laughed morbidly as this Bad End came to a close, and bit his lip in preparation for the pain.
He almost hesitated, he remembered Satella whispering in his ear to love himself, the version of him back in the tower who thought he was a hero. And above all, Rem, who had told him never to give up. He had fought so hard, and finally became her hero again. And here I am, giving up.
But if this timeline continued they'd drag him back to the mansion and… talk. They'd talk about Return by Death. And it would all be over. An endless loop of watching them die, again and again. I can't be Rem's hero if she's dead, right?
So he'd kill himself, send Rem to the Mathers Mansion and go somewhere. Anywhere where his friends weren't around.
I don't know when I'll respawn. If it's back in Vollachia, I can send Rem on a caravan home. Then… I don't know. Kararagi perhaps.
Yeah. Kararagi sounds nice .
He thought as tears streamed down his face.
This would be the hardest death of all, but by far the most necessary. He wouldn't be able to loop back far enough to stop this from happening. He'd never see them again.
He sunk the blade into the side of his neck, just below the jaw. Subaru was an expert after-all. He began to pull the knife across his throat.
Emilia: Al Huma!
Subaru didn't even have time to feel himself freeze. Time simply stopped.
Julius fell to the ground entranced. Anastasia to her credit, tried to catch her knight in her arms but as the weakest out of any member of any camp, even Subaru she had to admit, Anastasi was almost crushed and was forced to drop him.
Anastasia: Well, shit.
Beatrice: Nobody listens to Betty I suppose!
Anastasia: He wasn't supposed to be able to read the book! Julius doesn't know Hoshin-sama! Heck I ain't even know if I could read it!
Anastasia shuffled Julius into what seemed like a more comfortable position while Beatrice fumed.
Anastasia: Should I close the book? Snap him out of it?
Beatrice: No idiot girl! Don't mess with it at all! He'll come out of the stupor, if previous experience is to be trusted I suppose.
Julius wasn't moving, whatever he was experiencing was locked behind the twitching saccades of his eyes and his rapidly increasing heartbeat. Anastasia propped his head onto her lap and put her fingers through his hair. It was the only thing she could think of.
Anastasia: So we just… wait?
Beatrice: That's all there is to do I suppose. Betty has one thing she'd like to confirm, but she doesn't trust you not to befuddle the rules of the library further! So stay put in fact!
Anastasia had nothing to say, she would learn when her knight wakes up whether her plan was a good idea or not. Until then, the spirit was right by default.
Anastasia: What are you doing?
She asked Beatrice who was shuffling the pile of books that Hoshin's tome was found on with her foot. She was careful not to directly touch or open any of them.
Beatrice: As expected, your foolishness knows no bounds. There is a problem in fact.
Anastasia: What, what's wrong?
She was now beginning to really worry for Julius. He'd read the book for her, like a servant testing their masters dinner for poison.
Beatrice: How many Hoshin's were there merchant-girl?
Anastasia: What kind of question is that? Are you stupid?
Beatrice sighed and gently slid one of the books over to Anastasia.
Beatrice: Who is stupid here I suppose… because according to the Library, there were dozens of 'Hoshin-samas'
Anastasia's face drained of color.
Beatrice was red in the face and sucking air. She'd made the long journey across the stairs three times today, the last two to collect the only healer with mana left in their group, just in case. Emilia, along with Ram and Meili were now crowded around the unconscious Julius.
Meili: He must be as dumb as your nasty-eyed knight.
Emilia frowned and chastised the girl.
Emilia: It's not nice to call someone dumb, and Subaru's nasty-eyes are nice!
Meili giggled, Emilia never seemed to appropriately deflect her insults away from Subaru. She nudged Julius with her foot, like she'd done so many times before to confirm that her targets were really dead.
Emilia: Meili! Why would you kick him?!
The unconscious Julius twitched on reflex.
Meili: As an expert in murder, my diagnosis is that he's not dead.
Emilia: That's not funny! This is serious. Beatrice, is Julius going to be alright?
Beatrice: The fool's just got himself trapped living out an unknown person's life. He'll come around, probably I suppose.
Ram: If he could read the book, it wasn't an unknown person. Unless the rules of the library have changed after we've beaten it.
Anastasia: That makes sense, I don't understand why there are, how many…. Forty-five of em', but I do know that Julius don't know anyone who writes their name in Hoshin-samas personal script.
Emilia: Why are there sooooo many books of the same name? Is it a family line? It could be Hoshin-sama's family!
Anastasia: At this point, much as I hate to admit it, these books probably don't belong to Hoshin. Maybe one of em' does, hell I don't know. But there's just too much going on that don't make sense.
Ram: We'll just have to wait until your idio— your knight awakens.
Anastasia let the remark pass, both of them were being idiots. Though Julius had tried to stop her. As concerned as she was, Anastasia was deeply curious. What is he seeing now…
Julius woke almost imperceptibly. Anastasia noticed just a twitch of his foot, like he had done after being tapped by Meili's shoe. She could just barely feel the vibration through her fingers intertwined with his hair.
Anastasia: Julius, Julius, ya alright?!
He didn't speak, didn't open his eyes. His jaw just tightened, and a sequence of minuscule muscle contractions oscillated up his body. Like he was shivering deep in a fever.
Emilia: Julius?
Anastasia was beginning to panic as each of his involuntary spasms sent cascades of reactions through him. He was seizing, foaming at the mouth. She tried to hold him down
Anastasia: Spirit Sama!
She looked up towards the great librarian in horror, defaulting to the person she could trust most when it came to the arcane.
Beatrice: Betty is out of mana I suppose, the brat must intervene in fact.
This is what happens when nobody listens to Betty!
Emilia was already by the Knights side, funneling whatever small remains of mana she could summon into him.
Emilia: It's not working, the mana's just coming back to me. He's not injured, Beatrice please!
Beatrice: And why do you think Betty will be able to do something about it in fact!
Julius' violent thrashing knocked Anastasia down, and Emilia had to use her inhuman strength to pin him. No easy task, but at the end of the day Julius was just a man, and the half-elf was built stronger by far.
Beatrice: Fine I suppose!
She placed her palm in front of his forehead and the dark shadows of Yin magic pulsed from her hand. The writhing slowed. All that could be heard was the sound of Julius' decreasingly erratic breathing.
Beatrice: This is why you don't stick your head in a dragon's mouth in fact. I've calmed him, but it's only a tiny bit of trickery, all I can do without my contractor here I suppose.
Emilia: Will he be alright?
The spirit frowned.
Beatrice: His mind is in turmoil, Betty shudders to think about the contents of that book. Betty is out of her element I'm afraid.
She looked around the library with a scowl. She'd been trapped for four hundred years, so much of the world was new to her. But she was a repository of an endless amount of knowledge. The magic in the Tower, and the Taygeta library in particular left her feeling like she was an idiot child.
Beatrice: He will not die, and it is most probable he will regain his senses momentarily. But the state of his mind is not something Betty can wager on, in fact. There are many souls who have lived lives of torment in this world, and these books are abnormal. As much as Betty wishes to smack him, he should be treated gently upon waking I suppose.
Anastasia:...
Now the merchant princess was feeling really guilty.
As Beatrice predicted, Julius' breathing had stabilized, and he began to murmur. They were only quiet sounds from a dreamworld, but when his eyes opened, the words began to take form.
Julius: usagi …
Anastasia: Shhhh…. It's ok
Julius: Usagi.
Anastasia: What's that Julius? I can't hear you very well.
Her voice was low and calming. Her knight had been through the wringer for her own greed. It was safe to say she felt responsible.
Julius: USAGI!
Anastasia keeled over, startled as Julius bolted upright. He twisted his hands in his hair and screamed at the floor.
Julius: THE RABBITS!
He slammed the floor with the palm of his hand.
Ram: Heh
She chuckled to herself from the sheer inanity of the first thing the man said upon waking up from such a serious situation. She earned looks of scorn from both Emilia and Anastasia. But they didn't have any time to reprimand her. Julius began smashing his head against the ground.
Emilia: Stop that!
She grabbed him by the hair and lifted him aloft, it wasn't a very dignified position for the knight but it was the only thing she could think of to stop him from concussing himself into a vegetable.
She looked with concern into his eyes. Only to see him staring at something far beyond her. His eyes had lost their regality. The nobility was replaced by the look of a scared, dying animal. Anastasia put her hands over her mouth, she too had seen his broken visage.
Emilia: Beatrice!
Beatrice: Betty has no more mana in fact, unless she is to dig within her own Od. Which she will only do for Subaru I suppose.
Tears streamed down Julius' face alongside a trickle of blood falling from a cut on his forehead. He cried and moaned, unable to stand whatever tortured reality he'd lived.
Anastasia: But Julius is strong, right?
She asked no-one in particular. Her impression of him was that he really was the Knight of Knights. Even if he was a bit arrogant, Julius had displayed immense mental and physical fortitude just yesterday.
Anastasia: You're strong, Julius! You've beaten the tower, I saw ya kick Reid Astrea's ass! Julius!
She pleaded to her knight. And Julius was strong, in terms of stubbornness and work ethic he was outclassed by one nast-eyed boy. His thousand yard stare focused on the half-elf before him. But he did not stop crying.
Julius: E-Emilia. Set, set me down please. I-I apologize for, for my undignified—
He stifled back a sob.
Julius: —be-behavior.
Emilia released him gently and put her hands on his shoulders.
Emilia: Ok, but you need to promise not to hurt yourself like that.
He took a deep breath.
Julius: I was in a fit of… panic, rage? I swear I did not know where I was anymore. I wasn't in my right mind.
He looked up at the elf with a semblance of shaky conviction
Julius: I won't hurt myself again.
Anastasia: What happened to ya? If you don't wanna say, I understand. But I'd like to help you. After-all, ya saved me from that book. Awful Knightly of ya' to protect yer princess.
She punched his shoulder softly and smiled. It didn't reach her eyes.
Julius shuddered
Julius: I have just as many questions as you do, my Lady. What I saw was impossible…
Anastasia: I'm guess'n it wasn't Hoshin-Sama.
Her knight smiled, a little color returned to his face.
Julius: No, it was someone… else.
Ram: But it must have been someone you knew then.
Julius: Yes, yes it was. At least someone I thought I knew.
Beatrice: This is all very cryptic, Betty understands you are shaken but her patience is at a limit I suppose. Her interest in the book's contents is waning. The longer we stay in this cursed Tower the more time it will be before Betty can see her Subaru.
Julius flinched and looked down, his face twisted in shame. But not due to the spirits' admonishment. But at her expectation that she would meet her contractor again.
How can I deliver this horrible news ?
Emilia: That iiiiiiis true. Julius if you need some time to calm down before telling us that's ok. We can talk about it while we're eating dinner or packing up. Would you like that?
Julius: The offer is appealing, but I owe it to him, and you all, as his friends…
He thought about the owner of the book, now dead and gone. Eaten to death by piecemeal from the ass out. Were we ever really friends?
Ram put her hand on her chin.
Ram: Who's friends, did this book belong to someone we knew? My social circle doesn't overlap much with yours. I don't remember meeting someone who wrote their name in chicken-scratch.
Julius: I am… so sorry. I, too, am grieving.
His hands were balled into shaking fists.
Julius: Natsuki Subaru...
Emilia's eyes widened. Beatrice's narrowed.
Julius: The book was Sir Subaru's.
The honorific wasn't lost on anyone.
Julius: He was… consumed. The book showed me irrefutable proof that he is—
The words choked in his throat.
Julius: — gone.