This self-indulgent prequel can be blamed almost entirely on Freyjabee. I brought it up casually and she said DO IT so here we are.
Starboy will cover the two years of Jellal's life before The Fall of Mercutio begins. This is not a Jerza story. It's the spiral of a young man coming to terms with the lies often told to children.
Thank you so much to tumblr user Marya-nikolaevna for her Spanish translations of dialog!
"Jellal!" Her voice rattled in his head loud and metallic. "Jellal!" All the hard consonant edges softened into rolling vowels. His ears tuned the sound like a radio station coming into focus. Her words curled and curved and coiled as if the music staff had been twisted into a knot. "J...el...l..al," she sang, sinking into his skin through his pores.
His eyes flew open suddenly. The sound of crunching and screeching had ruined his favorite song. Even though the notes were all upside down now and not nearly as beautiful, he still loved the music. But his knees hurt. They felt wet and the shine of her black boots had been dulled by the dusty gravel. The ground shifted uneasily beneath him. Blades of grass so green he wondered if they were real, glinted off the moonlight that waned between ever thickening clouds.
"Jellal!" What used to be music now sounded like cymbals at point blank range. "You fucking idiot," she screamed. The tips of her midnight hair brushed his cheeks. He smiled at her but she only frowned. "Jellal!"
The crunching grew more uniform and a car door slammed. His face felt wet with drops of cold. Not the same wet as his knees. This was harsher. He tried to sit up but the world still spun around him in bright but numb circles. Without warning he was dragged upward and his feet landed flat on the ground. Angry hands pushed and pulled at him.
Specks of yellow swam in the droplets that clung to the other side of the window glass. His arm throbbed now. His knees stung. And his head hummed with a dizzy nausea. Jellal's eyes fluttered open and shut.
"Don't let him drift!" a voice barked. Drifting sounded nice but a sharp jab to his sloshing middle stopped the process. Someone jerked at his shoulder and his cheek missed the chilled window the second he was pulled away.
Her black hair smelled of dahlias. This he finally recognized. Ultear. Her fingernails dug into the crook of the arm that hurt and her thumb drew circles around an area that especially burned. His head fell from her shoulder to her lap and he reached for her hair.
"You're so stupid, Jellal," she whispered as she slapped his hand away. A drop of something warm fell to his cheek. "How could you? Why didn't you call me?"
He couldn't hear the music anymore.
His eyes felt like sandpaper. The room was too bright even though the only light came from a bedside lamp. When he sat up he felt bile rising in his throat but swallowed back the impulse to vomit. Jellal felt her glare before he saw her and when his eyes focused, he wanted to shrivel and disappear.
"You scared the fuck out of me," she said in a dangerously low voice.
"Ultear –"
"Shut up. You don't get to talk first." Her hair maintained a high gloss even in the dim light and her lips were set in a line. "I found you with a fucking needle in your arm. Do you remember?" Jellal sighed and fell back against her pillows. The change in elevation was too quick. His head spun.
"Where's my car?" His voice came out rougher than he expected. It hurt. "My mom will kill me if –"
"You almost killed yourself. I'm pretty sure she'd be more upset about that than the car." Jellal squeezed his eyes shut. He did remember the needle. He remembered the complete silence of his thoughts and the swell of music. It was the most beautiful moment of his life.
And the most terrifying.
Now, mostly sober, he could hear all the better parts of him screaming. The scared whisper in his head that counted every heartbeat and checked to make sure he was still himself. He could feel the creep and crawl of his skin that he'd drowned out enough to allow himself to be touched by people he couldn't pick out of a crowd. Every protest he'd ignored came rushing back.
He never wanted any of it again.
He wanted more right now.
"Why did you do it, Jellal?" Ultear's voice cut through the noise in his head. The fight replayed in his head in flashes just as it had before he'd depressed the plunger on the syringe. Or had someone else done that? How could he have let someone else – "Jellal."
"He called me his," he whispered reaching over to poke at the now invisible mark in the bend of his arm. "He said I'd been branded and claimed." Jellal shrugged with a nonchalance he didn't feel. "I figured that if he sees me as property, I'd just go ahead and ruin it."
"You're a person, Jellal. You know this. You only belong to yourself. Names don't mean shit." Her voice was irritated but he heard the sadness. Jellal's fingers left his arm and found the spot on his face he always thought he should be able to feel but couldn't.
"Ultear," he rasped. "I can't do this anymore." Jellal sat up again and his body felt like a sack of bricks. His breaths came slow and heavy. "I don't want to be ruined."
"Then don't be. I –" Quicker than he could truly see, Ultear reached up to her face and spun around to dig in her desk drawers. She opened a baggie and fished out three pills. "Here. Take these. Sleep off the come down. You can't go cold turkey but I'll help you get there."
Jellal held out his hand and swallowed them dry. He didn't think he could even stomach water.
"I have to get to school. You stay."
"But –"
"My mom's on a double. She won't even be home until tomorrow."
"What's tomorrow?" Whatever she'd given him was already kicking his ass. He swayed and clutched his forehead with one hand.
"Tuesday. I'll call your mom but you can handle Laxus. Ask him about your car."
"Laxus?"
"Yes, you fuck up. I had to call him last night because I couldn't drag your heavy ass any further than the front yard of that trash house I found you in." Ultear's face blurred and Jellal fell back into the bed. "Jesus, you're a mess. That stuff I gave you just now is weak compared to what you're used to. When did you eat last?" He couldn't form words. Even his lips felt heavy. "Never mind."
The yellow pool of light disappeared and he vaguely remembered Ultear's voice telling him to drink the water she'd left. Her bedroom fell silent – except for his head.
Pills. He hated pills. They weren't as good. Jellal's thoughts spun in circles until they landed on something powder blue and a golden smile. His chest warmed with the memory.
"I saw it and thought of you," the voice that used to chase away his nightmares said softly. "Happy birthday, little starboy."