Insomniac's Dream

I wrote this a long time ago, actually, under a different penname, and I just re-found it and was like, "Wow…this is pretty good!" At first, there was zero plot, but now I actually have a direction! (More than I can usually say, haha.)

Pairings: So far, there's Naruto/Sasuke, Itachi/Kisame, Haku/Zabuza, Kiba/Hinata, Neji/Shikamaru, and possibly some others, but the latter three really aren't all that important to the story line.

Warnings: Sasuke starts out a little out of character, but it won't last too long. And sex will ensue in later chapters.

Chapter One: New Neighbors

"KUSO!!"

The blue-eyed blonde slammed his fist onto the desk.

"Uzumaki-san!" Iruka-sensei shouted. "Calm yourself down!"

Naruto whined before falling back into his seat. "It's just not fair, Iruka-sensei! Why do we have to have homework during summer vacation?!"

Iruka-sensei chuckled. "Next year, you guys will be going into your senior year! It's a big step! You need to keep your minds active, and if that means giving you homework, I will give you homework!!"

The class groaned.

Kiba raised his hand. "But—sensei! You'll have no way of grading our homework next year, will you?"

Iruka-sensei grinned evilly. "If that's what you want to think, go ahead. Now, your homework for summer vacation will be—!"

Before Iruka-sensei could finish his sentence, the bell rang, signaling for the end of the school year. Papers flew everywhere, and a deafening roar welled up inside each and every student. Even star student Haruno Sakura looked excited for school to be out.

"Saaaakura-chan!" Naruto yelled, waving to her. "Ne, ne! Do you want to go to the movies with me?"

Sakura blushed. "As if, Naruto-kun! I'm getting my nails done today! But…you can come with me…if you really want to."

Naruto laughed. "Ha, ha, sure, Sakura-chan! Are you going right now? Man, I've always wanted to get a manicure!"

Kiba snorted. "Baka! You're ditching me to get your nails done?

Naruto looked sheepish and rubbed the back of his head. "Gomen, Kiba-kun. I forgot that we're going to the movies… Who else is going with us, anyway?"

Naruto followed Kiba out to the student parking lot. So they didn't have to ride the bus, they bummed a ride off of Kiba's sister, Hana. Today, Hana was even willing to bring them to the movie theater before she went off to work.

"Thanks a ton for driving us, Hana-nee-chan!" Naruto said as he climbed into the car.

"Anything for you, Naruto-kun!" she answered before cranking up the radio. "Ah! I love this song! Hope you guys don't mind my Imogen Heap fetish." She winked at Naruto in the rearview mirror.

Kiba snorted. "Whatever, nee-chan."

"Who else is going to the theaters?" Naruto prompted.

"Oh yeah… Let's see… There's Hinata, Lee, Shikamaru, Chouji… Umm, since Hinata's coming, Neji's coming. Did you ask Gaara?"

Naruto nodded. "He said he'd try to make it, but he didn't know if he could get a ride from Temari or not."

"Why doesn't Kankuro drive him?"

"Umm, have you seen Kankuro's driving record? Twenty accidents in the past year!!"

Hana laughed and said, "It can't be that bad!"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Okay, so, maybe I was stretching it a bit…but it's pretty close! Anyway, his dad took away his car after he backed into a pole…or something like that. I don't know, Temari was laughing too hard for me to understand her properly."

"Ah, we're here…"

"Thanks for the ride, Hana-chan!!"

"Arigato, nee-chan!"

Hana shook her head slowly before driving off.

"Gaara!!" Naruto shouted. "You made it!!"

"Of course I did," said Gaara, purposely looking in the other direction.

"Ano," Hinata began timidly. "What are we going to see?"

"Hmm…" Naruto looked at the movie posters. "All of the really good movies are rated R… Eto…" He turned toward the group. "Should we see a comedy or a drama?"

Neji shook his head. "Naruto, we're already way ahead of you." He pointed to a poster with the title Insomniac's Dream. It had a picture of a figure concealed by shadows, but you could see his glowing red eyes clearly.

Gaara snorted. "Should I feel offended?"

Naruto slung his arm casually around Gaara's shoulder. "No, you shouldn't feel offended at all…Gaara-chan! Oh, and thanks for buying my ticket!!" Naruto ran off before Gaara could protest.

Gaara sighed, resigning himself to his fate. "Two please."

Haku smiled brightly when the group came up to him with their tickets.

"Haku-kun!" Naruto shouted. "Ano-sa, ano-sa! Haku, I know the high school gets out a couple minutes earlier than the middle school, but…how did you get here so fast, datte bayo?!"

Haku's smile didn't waver. He held up one finger dramatically and said, "It's…a secret."

"It's called 'work exit,' baka," said Shikamaru tersely.

"Oh. … … … …What's that?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Didn't you sign up to take that next year?"

Naruto thought for a moment. "Oh yeah…"

"The movie's on your left," said Haku, still smiling. "Please enjoy…"

"Oh boy!" shouted Naruto. "Popcorn! Soda! Candy! Bubble gum! More popcorn! …Do you guys want anything?"

Two and a half hours later, the movie was over. It was a really well thought out production with a deep plot…or it would have been had Naruto actually been paying attention. He couldn't remember any dialogue, any of the story line. His eyes had been glued from start to finish on the main character of the movie…a pale, lithe boy around his age with dark black hair and obsidian eyes…

Naruto entered his apartment complex still in a daze. Tsunade, the landlady, glanced up from her desk as he walked past. "What's the matter with him?" she thought before calling his name aloud.

"Hmm?" Naruto shook himself out of his stupor when he heard his name being called. "What is it, Tsunade-obaa-chan?"

Tsunade tensed at the nickname but decided to let it slide for the day. "Listen, Naruto, I just wanted to tell you—"

"EHH?? I thought rent was due next week!! What day is it? Oh, I'm so sorry! I'll get it to you by the end of the week!! I'm really, really—"

"NARUTO!" She waited a few more seconds for him to calm down. "I'm not talking to you about the rent. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that a new family is moving in next door to you. I just wanted to tell you about it, seeing as how there are only two rooms per floor…so maybe you'll keep the noise down for once. Please."

Naruto nodded slowly before the situation fully dawned on him. "NEW NEIGHBORS?! Ohhh, it's like a dream come true!!"

"No it's not," Tsunade grumbled. "What with your exuberant personality, you get a new neighbor at least once a year…"

"What was that, Tsunade-obaa-chan?"

Tsunade felt her fist tighten. "Uzumaki Naruto!" she shouted suddenly. "I charge you with the mission of helping your neighbors unpack!"

"…Ooookaaaay, Tsunade-obaa-chan… Yeesh, you don't have to yell so loudly and let the whole world know you're old and senile…"

Tsunade felt the vein in her temple throb. She picked up a ream of paper and threw it at him, barely missing his head.

"Tsunade-sama!" Shizune yelped, apparently coming into the room at the wrong time and almost getting her head taken off by a stapler. "…Have you taken your anger pills today?"

"Yes," seethed Tsunade, "but they make me angrier…"

Naruto paled and hurried from the room. "Damn angry old hag…" He ducked, just in case she heard him. Nothing came hurtling after him, so he dashed up to his room, just to be safe.

Naruto paused at the top of the stairwell and stared. There, merely five feet away, was someone who looked very, very familiar…and anyone that good looking would be impossible to forget!

He looked up and stared coldly, right back at Naruto, and he remembered.

"AH!" shouted Naruto. "I just saw you!"

The boy was confused. "What?"

"I—I just saw your movie! You're Uchiha Sasuke!"

The boy snorted and went back to pushing the heavy box into his apartment room. "Yeah, so? What's it to you?"

Naruto ran over to help the boy with the box. "Nothing, I guess. I just knew that I had seen you before, and it was going to bug me until I figured it out." He stopped pushing the box, stood up, and held out his hand. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, by the way. I'm your new neighbor!"

"Uzumaki Naruto?" asked a voice from right behind the two. Naruto jumped, and a taller version of Sasuke held out a hand in Sasuke's stead. "I'm Uchiha Itachi," the taller man said. "It's a pleasure to meet you…Naruto-kun."

Naruto grinned and shook Itachi's hand. "Listen," Naruto began, "I know it must be hectic moving in and all, so I would like to treat you to dinner—"

Itachi held up his hand, and Naruto stopped, confused. "Yes, thank you, Naruto-kun. Sasuke and I greatly appreciate it." With that, Itachi disappeared down the stairs, presumably to get more boxes.

"Wow," said Naruto softly. "Is he always that—?"

"Oppressive?" Sasuke finished.

"Uhh… Not the word I would have chosen…"

"Well, what word would you have chosen?"

Naruto felt like Sasuke was provoking him, but he chose to ignore it. "I was going to say 'scary as hell.'"

Sasuke snorted. "You get used to it. Now, help me move this, dobe, before he comes back."

Naruto shrugged, and, together, the two were able to manage to get the heavy box over the lip of the doorway. Itachi came back just as they had finally dragged it over the corner of the living room.

"What's taking so long?" Itachi asked, bemused. "Perhaps my little brother isn't strong enough to carry a little box?"

Sasuke glared. "You know full well that your exercise equipment is in this box!" he snarled.

Itachi smirked. "Why don't you and your little friend stay up here and unpack for a bit. Just…don't touch my things." He smiled mysteriously before practically floating out of the room. Naruto noticed that because Itachi wore a robe that stopped a mere millimeter above the ground, thus making it impossible to see his feet, he very well could be floating…

Sasuke glared at the retreating form of his brother, and Naruto felt a chill run down his spine. Suddenly, Sasuke grabbed Naruto by the hand and dragged him toward one of the back rooms. "Come on, you heard him. Help me unpack…dobe."

Naruto wrenched his hand from Sasuke's. "Look, I'm not going to keep helping you if you keep calling me nasty names!"

"Whatever…usurukontachi."

"All right, fine. Whatever. I'm out of he—aahh!!"

Naruto had turned around quickly to illustrate his point…but it had been a bit too quickly for the amount of boxes in the room. He tripped over one of the boxes and threw out his hands to avoid falling. Unfortunately, instead of regaining his balance, he stumbled a bit more, and his outstretched arms knocked against Sasuke. The two both fell to the ground, Naruto directly on top of Sasuke.

"Itai…"

"Comfy?"

Confused, Naruto looked down. "EEHHH??"

His face was directly in Uchiha Sasuke's crotch.

Naruto hastily picked himself up off the ground. "Ano-sa, ano-sa! I'm really, really, really, really sorry! I didn't mean it! I'm really—"

"Look, would you just shut up and help me up?"

Blushing furiously, Naruto held out his hand to help Sasuke up. "Look, I really am—"

"Just drop it." Sasuke tried to act cool about the whole situation, but even he couldn't stop the faint blush from reaching his cheeks. "Just…don't ever mention it again, okay?"

"Fine, fine. Let's get you unpacked."

Three boxes later and they were still unpacking Sasuke's clothes.

"Damn, man! I thought only girls had this many outfits! You have, like, a different shirt for every day of the year!"

Sasuke shrugged. "You should see Itachi's closet. You would get lost! And if that's not screaming 'gay,' he puts his clothes in rainbow order."

Naruto's laughter died off. "…That's considered gay?"

Sasuke let out what sounded like a laugh. Even if he could round off this gesture of happiness, he couldn't hide the grin spreading across his face. He turned around so Naruto wouldn't see.

"No, seriously… I'm being dead serious. I mean, it just makes finding things so much easier… What the hell is this?"

Sasuke grabbed the glittery shirt from Naruto. "This," he said sharply, "is my shirt from my first commercial I was in."

Naruto's nose wrinkled as he eyed the silver sequins. "What were you? Peter Pan?"

Sasuke glared. "The only reason I keep this hideous thing is because Itachi would gut me if I didn't."

"So…Itachi… He's, what, your brother?"

"Unfortunately."

"What about your parents? Where are they?" Naruto shuddered as Sasuke's cold stare was turned his way. "Umm… Look, I'm really sorry—"

Sasuke turned away and said softly, "You really should stop apologizing for everything, you know."

Naruto blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry, it's a habit. I guess it's just because I mess up so often… I, uh…sorry?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto, but his cold gaze was replaced by a sarcastic smirk. "You're apologizing for saying 'sorry' too often? Baka."

"Whatever, Peter Pan."

Sasuke looked like he was just about to punch Naruto when Itachi interrupted what could have been an all-out brawl. "Are you two ready for dinner? It's almost seven o'clock."

"Why didn't you come get us sooner, Itachi?" Sasuke snapped.

"Because, little brother, you two sounded like you were having so much fun."

Sasuke waited until Itachi had left the room before muttering under his breath, "Bastard."

Naruto stared up at Kyuubi, the fanciest restaurant in the whole city. Naruto had been planning on treating them to Ichiraku Ramen, but instead he was watching his credit go down the drain. Maybe he could beg Tsunade-obaa-chan for a week's extension on his rent…

Naruto stared at the menu, searching for something less than 20. Giving up, he flipped it over to the kid's menu. He might go home hungry, but at least he would be able to afford to grab lunchbox from the grocery store. Maybe that's what he would do instead, and skip dinner all together…

"Naruto-kun." Itachi's voice. Naruto looked up at him over his menu. "Don't worry about prices." Yeah, easy for you to say, freeloader! "I've got the check covered tonight."

Naruto shook his head before he could give in to this tempting offer. "No, no, Uchiha-san! I promised to treat you—"

Itachi held up his hand, and Naruto stopped talking. "It's all right, Naruto-kun. You helped so much with unpacking today, and keeping my little brother out of my hair… It's the least I could do. Here, we'll compromise. I'll pick up the tab, and you take care of the tip."

"O—Okay, Uchiha-san, if you insist—"

Itachi held up his hand once more. "I do insist, and please…call me Itachi."

"Eh…"

"Oh, and please don't worry about the prices. Naruto-kun, tonight you can go all out. You, too, little brother."

While Naruto thanked him, Sasuke remained silent.

When the food arrived, Naruto was the first to shout, "Itadakimasu!" Sasuke looked embarrassed while Itachi smiled.

"You have such a splendid personality, Naru-kun. Wouldn't you agree, Sasuke?"

"Whatever."

Itachi paused with the squid on his chopsticks halfway to his mouth. His eyes narrowed as he glanced across the restaurant. "If you'll excuse me," he said before angrily standing up and storming across the dining area. Naruto watched him go curiously, but he lost sight of him.

"What—?"

Sasuke shrugged. "It's just Kisame," he explained. "He follows us around sometimes."

Naruto stared wide-eyed at Sasuke. "Your brother has a stalker?!"

Sasuke looked bored as he ate his fish. "No, baka, Kisame is a bodyguard." He smirked as he looked up at Naruto. He spoke slowly. "The bodyguard's name is Ki--sa--me."

Naruto looked confused. "Why are you speaking so slowly…?"

"You're being insulted, and you don't even realize it." Sasuke sighed. "You really are an idiot."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. So…why does your brother need a bodyguard?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow curiously. "Why would Itachi have a bodyguard?"

Naruto was even more confused. "What? But, Kisame—"

"Don't jump to conclusions, dobe. Itachi doesn't need a bodyguard. I need a bodyguard. I'm a famous movie star now, remember?" Much to Naruto's surprise, Sasuke didn't sound cocky as he said this. Instead he sounded…upset…

"Uh, yeah, whatever. Movie star. Bodyguard. Gotcha. So, why is Itachi so pissed off?"

"Itachi's not pissed off."

"But then, why did—?"

"Would you let me finish?" Sasuke waited until he had taken another bite of fish, chewed, and swallowed before continuing—just to piss off Naruto. "Itachi's not pissed off at Kisame. Kisame makes him horny as hell. The second he sees that shark, he pulls him off to the nearest bathroom, and, well, if you can't follow that, you really are an idiot."

Naruto glared. "Well, then, I guess Kisame's not that great of a bodyguard, then, is he?"

"Shut up and eat your dinner."

For once, Naruto did as he was told…but not for too much longer. "So, uh, what does Itachi do? You know, for a living?"

Sasuke sighed and put down his chopsticks. "He's a writer. He writes plays."

"Well, that's cool! So, he's a writer, and you're an actor! Ano-sa, do you act in his plays?" Naruto's excitement died down when he noticed Sasuke's expression. "Or not?"

"Look, I don't want to talk about it—"

"Talk about what, little brother?" Naruto froze. He hadn't even heard Itachi coming!

"Nothing…nee-chan."

"Sorry, Naru-kun," said Itachi, ignoring Sasuke completely. His voice was all smiles, but his face remained the same, almost like a statue. "I thought I saw an…an old friend."

Sasuke snorted. "It's okay, Itachi. I told him about Kisame."

Silence hovered over the table before Itachi broke it with strained laughter. "Well, this is an unexpected turn of events." He looked around. "Waiter? Check, please." He turned toward Sasuke. "You do know that the whole point of a bodyguard is to go unnoticed, right? How can he go unnoticed if you tell everyone you meet about him!"

"He's not much of a bodyguard," Sasuke retaliated, "when he's guarding someone else's body."

Naruto suddenly felt very out of place. He breathed a sigh of relief when the waiter brought the check, breaking up the uncomfortable discussion. Slowly, slowly, Naruto looked over at the check to calculate the tip. He paled. How could they owe a 30 tip when there were only three of them?! The tip alone was more than dinner for four at Ichiraku Ramen! He pulled a twenty and a ten out of his wallet and slowly handed it over to Itachi.

Gee, I really hope you liked this!! I started writing around two o'clock in the morning after eating a whole bunch of ice cream…and I don't really know what happened. All I know is that I've always wanted to write a Naruto fanfic, and I finally did! Yosh! Anywho, I live and breathe reviews, so if you want to keep me alive, send some on by. Honestly, half of my ideas for stories and such come from reviews, so if you have a good idea, type it up and send it to me!