It is the 41st Millennium. For more than one hundred centuries, the Goddess has sat immobile on the Golden Throne of Earth. She is the Master of Mankind by Her own will, and Master of a Million Worlds by the might of Her magic. She is a rotting carcass writhing invisibly with power from a realm beyond our own. She is the Carrion Queen of the Imperium, for whom a thousand souls are sacrificed every day, so that She may never truly die.
Yet even in Her deathless state, The Goddess continues Her eternal vigilance. Mighty battlefleets cross the daemon-infested miasma of the Warp, the only route between distant stars, their way lit by the Astronomican, the manifestation of the light of The Goddess's Hope. Vast armies give battle in Her name on uncounted worlds. Greatest among Her soldiers are the Adeptus Magica, the Mage Knights, magical girls enhanced with Her power. Their comrades in arms are Legion. The Imperial Guard and countless planetary defense forces, the ever vigilant Inquisition and the Tech-Mages of the Adeptus Mechanicus to name only a few. But for all their multitudes, they are barely enough to hold off the ever-present threat from aliens, heretics, mutants, and worse.
To be a man in such times is to be one amongst untold billions. It is to live in the greatest and most bloody regime imaginable. These are the tales of those times. Forget the power of technology and science, for so much has been forgotten, never to be re-learned. Only magic may light the way now. Forget the promise of progress, for in the grim dark future there is only despair. There is no hope amongst the stars, only an eternity of despair and hatred, and the laughter of thirsting gods.
Puella Magi Aeternum Bellum
In Her Holy Majesty's Imperial Inquisition
Volume 1: The Dreamer Wakes
Magical Girl: A female between the ages of twelve and nineteen who has entered a contract with Her Holy Majesty The Goddess of Hope, Magic, and Mankind. The female makes a wish, in exchange for eternal servitude in Her name. This contract bestows the power of The Goddess upon the female, granting that female powers of magic. This magical girl must then fight eternally in the name of Her Holy Majesty, protecting humanity from all threats. Her energy is gifted to the Goddess, to further the eventual resurrection of Her Holy Majesty, and the Ascendance to a New Golden Age.
-Excerpt from Her Ladyship Tomoe's Encyclopedia Magica
It is vital that the truth of the system be hidden from everyone. The details of the magical girl system, the contract, even the wish, all must be kept in complete secrecy. None of us would be here right now if we knew our souls would be stuffed into a jar, or if we knew that our wishes would eventually bring about despair. It is imperative that we carefully control the contracting system, to that end the Incubators have agreed to assist us. We can no longer afford to take into consideration the feelings of contractees. It pains me, and I know it pains all of you. After what has happened, this is a necessity. I hate to do this to millions of little girls, but the human race must survive, we will do what we must.
-Excerpt from Her Ladyship Tomoe'saddress In the Wake of the Heresy, circa M31.019
Schicksal
There was nothing at first. Only darkness. There were no sensations, no feelings, only darkness. There was seemingly no escape. But maybe one could be found.
The first step was taken tentatively. There is no sound, only darkness. Another step. A faint sound can be heard and a dim light appears. A third step. There is more now. More light, more sound, a feeling of touch became present.
After an eternity, the light was bright enough to see clearly. Stepping created the noise it should. Feet could be felt against the shoes that pressed against the floor.
A long corridor stretched out. But it wasn't long, it was short, but it was long again. There was no clear distance. The corridor is checkered, but then it was not, then it was black, then it was white. Now, all the colors could be seen. It was pointless trying to figure these things out.
Who am I? That was the question. Not where, when, why, or how. What is my name? The human looked down and observes that it is a girl. Now on to the other questions. What's behind the door? She was scared. She was not sure if she wanted to go through the door. So she looked for another way.
She looked around herself and saw nothing, only formless dark. She looked behind her and saw the same. What's happening? Where's the light? She was terrified now. Even the light above the small space she occupied was going out. She screamed. She looked at the door. It's the only way.
She reached her hand out and grasped the doorknob. She turned it slowly and pushed it open.
It was dark again. She screamed. In front of her, just like before, was nothing, nothing but a huge empty space. Then she realized she heard herself scream. So she wasn't in that void.
But what is the darkness? Then the girl realized she could see small points of light. There were like tiny, glowing specks of light on a gargantuan black canvas. Those are stars, aren't they? She realized she was in space.
But how? She walked forwards and found herself impeded by glass. On a spaceship then. How am I here? Why?
Her question was quickly answered. There was a flash. She blinked. When her eyes opened again, there was a huge…thing in front of her. She didn't know what it was. It was spherical, on it were huge expanses of what looked like black metal.
She felt instinctively that she knew what she was looking at. It was her planet, her home. One of those cities could be hers. She had never seen it like this, but somehow she knew.
Why am I here? Above my own planet? Then she saw something she would always try to forget. A sight a certain kind of person may see many times. But never regret seeing it as much as the girl did.
The planet lit up. It was as bright as the sun.
The girl shut her eyes. When she opened them again the planet was on fire. She couldn't even see the surface anymore, the flames were so thick.
"What?!" the girl screamed. She realized she could speak. "What is happening?"
For another minute, the atmosphere burned. The surface would be scorched of all life. Anything left would have no oxygen to breathe. When it subsided, the girl saw the smoking ruins of the surface. The girl wanted to look away, to find the one responsible. But she couldn't, it was too…beautiful. The thought was sick. But it was true.
Immediately following the subsiding of the flames, there were more bright flashes on the surface. One was on the ground the girl was above. The flashes left holes in the planet's surface. She realized what they were.
These… monsters weren't just burning this world. They were truly killing it.
"Why!" she screamed "Why does this have to happen!"
Huge explosions shook the planet. The crust of the planet immediately developed massive cracks. The planet was going to die, split into thousands of pieces.
But no one answered. She kept trying to turn away. Or at least close her eyes. But she couldn't. The world continued to split up. Tremors shook the ground as lava spilled onto the surface. She still couldn't close her eyes. The horrifying beauty of the scene captivated her.
It was epic, terrible, awe-inspiring, and horrifying."Please!" she cried out "Please make it stop!"
The planet continued to writhe it its death throes. Massive cracks spread across the surface like it was glass. Massive eruptions shot out of the ground as the core collapsed in on itself.
She couldn't believe it. What had the people of this planet done to deserve this?
"Why? Why? Why did this have to happen?" she begged, hoping someone would answer. But more importantly, she realized, was the request. "Please, stop this,"
The girl finally tore her eyes away from the planet below and looked to her left. She saw another girl. About the same height. She was fixated on the planet below. She showed no emotions whatsoever.
"Please! Make this stop! Please!" She begged to the silent figure.
But whoever this monster was, it didn't care, it didn't care that billions of people had just died as it watched. It didn't care that an entire planet itself was splitting apart in front of her.
She knew it wasn't human, no human being could order this. No human, only a daemon. One of those daemons the preachers warned them of.
"Please…," she whispered one last time, slumping to the floor, knowing it was useless. "Make it stop,"
"No one can, not at this point. This was fated to happen, the wheels of fate were kicked unstoppably into motion long ago." a flat, monotone voice replied. She looked to her right and there it was; a small white creature. It had large pink eyes and a tiny mouth. Two long ears stretched from its head with rings near the ends. "But, you can stop it,"
"Who are you?" the girl asked. Her eyes widened. She can stop this. How? She would so anything to save the billions that just died.
"That doesn't matter,' the white creature replied. "What matters is that you can save this planet and everyone on it."
"But how?" she asked. She needed to know. She didn't care what this was. Even if it was a demon who stole her soul, if she could save this planet, she would.
The creature had an answer. Cheerfully, it said "By making a contract with me and becoming a Magical Girl!"
Nichts Neue
The buzzing of her alarm clock woke Erwine Braune.
She quickly sat up and jumped out of the cramped bed. It was hard and uncomfortable, but she had gotten used to it. The floor was chilling beneath her bare feet and the air was stale and cold.
Her parents had already left for the manufactorum at which they worked. She didn't need to not see or hear them there to know. They had always left before she woke up in the morning. It had been like that for as long as Erwine could remember.
It was dark, absolutely no light in the room. She went to flip the light switch. It was located on the right side of the door, so she had to take a few steps, her bed being on the left side. She didn't need to fumble, for she had always had to turn it on in the morning. She had memorized the location long ago.
The single light in the ceiling dimly illuminated the room. It was just enough so that Erwine had no need to strain her eyes, but it wasn't the brightest. Her parents slept in the same kind of bed Erwine did.
Their two empty beds were across the room from Erwine, one above the other. Erwine also had another bunk above her bed, but due to the lack of a sibling, it was unoccupied. She wondered if it would ever be filled, but she hoped sincerely that it never was.
She looked into the small mirror above and to the left of her bed. Her shoulder-length silver hair was disheveled and sticking into the air in places. She'd have to comb it down as usual. Her hair always looked like that in the morning, especially if she had a night where she had turned over and over in bed. The only way to defeat it was to vigorously comb it until only a couple of strands still dared to rise into the air.
There were dark circles under her blue eyes. She didn't get much sleep the night before. Her dreams had been…strange. This had been occurring for the past several days. Erwine didn't know why. She wasn't sure that she wanted to know why.
She was at least happy that she could remember nothing of her dream from the night before. They were starting to leave her with a sense of uneasiness in the morning, and Erwine knew that would only be enhanced if she actually remembered the contents.
A quick glance at her alarm clock showed that it had not malfunctioned, as it sometimes liked to do. It was 6:00 in the morning. She always woke at that time, or at least if her alarm clock worked.
Erwine hated to comb her hair. She wanted it to look nice, but didn't want to spend the time. She grudgingly picked up the comb from its position on the nightstand next to her bed and began to pull her hair into its proper position. The process took only three minutes. But for Erwine, it was three minutes too many. The worst part was the pain, resulting from the curls and knots that formed in her hair. She liked the look of her long hair, but at the same time it annoyed her.
After completing the tedious yet necessary task, Erwine began to get dressed. She took off her pajamas and threw on her daily clothes. It was her schooluniform, the same thing she'd been wearing for a long time. That didn't really change either, just an increase in size of the uniform whenever she grew. It consisted of white shit underneath a blue jacket and a knee-length white-and-black checkered skirt. Erwine had a positive opinion on the popular subject of how ugly the uniform was.
Personally, she thought it suited everyone well. Nada and the other people who disliked it mainly didn't like the coloration. They said it was too dull. Erwine disagreed, but it was quite a silly topic to argue about in the first place. But in this world, there was not much else to argue about.
Erwine liked to move fast. She hated wasting time and considered every second not used to its fullest extent wasted. She felt very strongly about this. Her mother felt very strongly that Erwine should talk to the psychologist at the school. Erwine had disagreed for the longest time, and she could not see herself ever agreeing with that.
When Erwine finished dressing she reached underneath her pillow and retrieved a book. It was an old book. It had that dusty old look and fainted text that everyone associated with old books. It turned that common belief was rather true. Erwine had no idea how old this particular book was; just that it was very old.
The book was part of Erwine's personal collection. She kept it hidden from her parents. She wasn't sure if they'd be mad. Because some of these books children should not be reading. Or so some adults thought.
It had everything to do with the violence displayed or mentioned. This particular book, for example, was the Siothean Fusiliers Sergeant's Field Manual. It contained exact descriptions of various military operations. Some parents didn't like their children reading of violent things when they were young. They believed that would turn children into criminals. Erwine's parents had yet to find this particular text, so she wasn't sure how they would react. She herself wasn't sure on that matter. She didn't know of anyone who was a criminal, so she had no ability to make judgments.
The book was interesting to Erwine. She didn't understand most of the terms used, but otherwise it was fascinating to at least get a somewhat good understanding of the glorious Imperial Guard worked. She had heard plenty of stories who said they were somehow experts on the organization, but she doubted all of them.
Erwine placed the book under her arm and walked to the door. She opened it and walked into the large room. To the right of the door to Erwine's bedroom, was a small living room. There was a sofa large enough for about three and a chair.
To Erwine's left was where everyone hung their coats and placed their shoes. In addition, there was a table placed against the wall with sewing materials on it, in case anything needed fixing.
To the left, on the other side of the room, was a small kitchen. It stretched for about 6 feet from a door in the middle of the wall to the corner and then another six feet down the wall Erwine was facing. There was a table in the middle of the counters about three by three feet.
Where the kitchen ended, on the side facing Erwine, was a door in the middle of the wall. That door led to another bedroom. To the right of that door was the door that led into the single bathroom. One bathroom, for the two families that lived here. Fortunately, four people were most of the time two of the people were awake, so it worked out.
That other bedroom was occupied by Erwine's best friend, Nada Vladic and her parents. They had lived here Erwine's entire life. She and Nada had known each other since they were born. Erwine knew that Nada would not be awake. She would always try to get as much sleep as possible. Erwine would sometimes have to coax her out of bed.
Erwine went to the kitchen and placed her book on the table. She then took out some of their bread rations for the day, a glass of water, and began to eat. They had little taste, but Erwine knew they were actually somewhat nutritious. She also suspected it was better that they had little taste. If they had one, it would probably not be a good taste. Erwine didn't really hate the food, but she didn't love it.
She opened up her book and began to read. She was about a fourth of the way through the book. Currently, it was talking about the correct procedure on how to storm a building of any size or layout. Erwine figured she would never get tired of reading about such details that were meaningless to her and those around her.
Erwine had no idea if she'd ever have use for this knowledge. That possibility was very unlikely. Unless she was conscripted into the Guard. She had no particular desire to enlist and die fighting on some distant, nameless, planet. But she also had no desire
Erwine finished her food and cleaned up after herself. She proceeded to pack her lunch for the day with the rations she always assigned to lunch. She placed the lunch bag inside her schoolbag; situated to the left of the door.
She finished this routine by brushing her teeth. It was a necessary thing. The foods were made to do as little damage to teeth as possible. But the teeth still got dirty, so money had to be spent on expensive toothpaste.
It only took a few minutes and by the time she finished brushing and using the bathroom for its usual purpose, she heard Nada emerge from her room. Nada also followed an exact procedure. She'd always come out of her room, get her food, and use the bathroom, if Erwine wasn't done yet, otherwise she'd go there first. After that she'd sit and eat until the two of them had to leave for classes.
Erwine walked out of the bathroom and retrieved her book from the kitchen table. She went and sat on the chair in the right corner of the room. As she left the bathroom she went past Nada, who said nothing. Erwine said nothing in response.
Nada was a blond-haired girl. Her hair went down to the top of her neck. She liked to keep it short. She was very skinny as well, for one reason or another. Both girls participated in the same amount of activity. Though she never told anyone, Erwine envied Nada's physique. She was a bit out of shape for a girl her age.
They never said "hello" anymore; the two of them both knew what the other was thinking and what their day would be like and what yesterday had been like. Today was no different. Except for…that. We might want to talk about that. The thought weighed heavy on her mind, pushing any chance of a normal day away.
There was an important thing that they should discuss, but both Erwine and Nada had promised each other to talk with all their friends first. Besides, Erwine had already thought about it and she didn't like the worrying it created.
It was about six-thirty now, the time they usually left on school days. Both Nada and Erwine kept track of what time it was. They knew exactly what to do. Nada cleaned up her food, Erwine stashed away her book and he two of them went to dress in their winter clothes.
They went to the racks to the left of the door outside and began to throw on their clothes. Heavy coats, scarves, hats, gloves, boots, it was very cold in the winter. Due to all the buildings casting shadows, the air was rarely warmed enough in the winter to melt any snow or even raise the temperature above freezing all day long.
After dressing they picked up their schoolbags. Nada and Erwine worked in perfect synchronization. They did this every day of the school week. At almost the exact same time every day. Erwine sometimes wondered why she hadn't gone insane yet. Erwine opened the door and Nada walked out first. There was some difference. Yesterday, Nada opened the door.
It took a couple of minutes to walk their way out of the hab complex they lived in. They lived on one of the higher floors, so it took a few minutes to walk down the flights of stairs to the bottom. They walked in silence. Neither of them had anything to say to the other. They both knew what the other was thinking of.
The two of them reached the ground floor and went towards the side that would exit them on the quickest route to their destination. As soon as the door was opened, the cold hit them like a sucker punch. But, again, they'd experienced it before, so the two of them soldiered on and began to walk as fast as they could to maintain their warmth.
The season of winter had begun a month before, and had been signaled by the dropping of the temperature to brutally low levels. Cold winds had rolled in, pushing dark skies ahead of them to empty their payloads of rain, in the first week. But after that, the cold was enough to cause snow.
The next week had brought a full meter of snow to the city. This snow had led to many an injury from children who went out exposed to the elements, but the next week was worse. The usual winter dryness set in, with all the moisture having been rained or snowed out.
The lack of moisture decreased the temperature drastically, and Erwine had heard stories of people who froze to death. Supposedly, an entire hab block's heating systems had failed during the night, and everyone inside save a lucky few had frozen to death. Her parents had passed the story off as an urban legend, but Erwine wondered if her strange dreams had something to do with her fear of dying in the middle of the night. I doubt it, Erwine thought, The Goddess would never allow such injustice.
The last week, however, had seen the return of some of the clouds to the city. They still floated high above in the air, gently casting snow down to the ground sometimes. Erwine certainly preferred their snow to the deadly cold of the dry days, during some of which classes had been cancelled due to the harshness of the cold.
Erwine and Nada started to make their way towards the school. Their hab block's front entrance emptied onto a street, but they had taken a side exit, which opened into an alleyway to the side of the main streets. Most children traveled through these passageways between buildings. There was little to fear during the brightness of the schooldays, and the number of people walking also decreased any chance of assault.
If one were to map out this single sector of the outer part of the city, they would see that the alleyways were not just straight lines going right in between buildings. Many buildings were oddly shaped, due to the more haphazard design of the outer city, compared to the strictly regulated inner city. This led to the alleyways twisting and turning to move around the buildings.
She and Nada continued through the cold towards their final destination, which was still far from them. They lived about three kilometers from the school, which they could walk in about thirty minutes when one takes into account the twisting alleys they had to get through. Classes began twenty minutes after seven o'clock, so they still had around forty minutes.
Erwine wasn't worried. She was rarely late to school, and this year, she had never been late. However, that was not what occupied her mind this morning. Bigger problems. She had put them off far too long. We all put them off far too long, just waiting right until the last minute to try and pull ourselves together.
The girl glanced about, eyes traveling upwards. The snow fell gently. The sky shined white. It wasn't dark out, despite the thick cloud cover. The skyline near the center of the city was clearly visible, with the huge edifices reaching up into the clouds. Erwine wasn't sure how big the city was. I don't know how big anything is, Erwine realized. Not as though I need to know.
All Erwine knew about the world was that it was a big place. How big, she couldn't say, but it had to be big, given what she was told by those who seemed to have knowledge. Erwine understood that she was a single cog in the greatest machine ever crafted by mankind. The great Imperium of Mankind stretched across the entire galaxy, containing millions of worlds and countless people within. Erwine couldn't help but feel pride at the knowledge she lived in so wondrous a time. But my name will never be known by anyone but my friends and family. I doubt even my classmates will remember me after a while. I certainly don't remember them.
Nevertheless, Erwine was a staunch believer. She knew everyone had a duty, even herself. Even though I'm just a tiny little part of a bigger machine, it's my purpose. Erwine felt that she could do anything for The Goddess, save for one. The Goddess was real. The world can't be any other way. Magical girls are real, so the Goddess has to be real.She was of course the Goddess of Hope, Magic, and Mankind. Erwine wondered if that was the order of the things she was important to, or if it was just an arbitrary order someone came up with randomly.
She shook her head fiercely, as if to forcefully remove the thoughts from her mind. Such thoughts could be considered heretical, depending on who you asked, and Erwine had heard far too many urban rumors about magical girls being able to read minds to try to find out for herself if that was true or not.
Of course, that led to the inevitable question. Where were the magical girls? Were they any at all? Erwine had never seen one. Rumors drifted about incessantly. Sometimes there'd be a whole downpour of the stuff. Other times scraps drifted about, passing from ear to ear every so often.
Erwine had heard the stuff so many times that she'd lost all sensitivity to it. In the past, she'd gotten excited because someone 'knew a friend whose uncle's cousin saw a…' Now she just sighed at things like that. She'd never seen any trace of a magical girl being on this world. She'd never seen one of the things that made them, those Incubators. What's more is that the girl had no idea why magical girls would be on Siothea in the first place. It was a relatively backwater planet, at least to Erwine's knowledge. As far as she knew, nothing threatened it.
Of course, she really didn't know anything more about the world she lived in. For all Erwine knew, the only two planets were Siothea and Holy Terra. She doubted that was the case, but she received little concrete information to point to any other set-up.
But even disregarding the wider world, she'd seen no evidence for any magical girls on Siothea. Everybody knew that the moment one contracted, they were sent off to join the mage knights. Erwine had never seen one. In fact, she wished that she never did. For the only reason one would be on Siothea was if things were really, really bad.
And by that point, Erwine knew a weak girl like herself would already be dead. She glanced over to her companion, feeling a little insecure as she knew that Nada would probably make it through anything the universe could throw at her. She'd find some way to survive, Erwine told herself…maybe even protect me in the process…
"Erwine?" Nada shattered the silence. Erwine paused, coming back to reality. She realized she'd almost walked into the side of a building, such had been her detachment from reality.
"Sorry," She chuckled, getting beside Nada again.
"Too hard on yourself," Nada commented, poking Erwine in the arm, "Don't worry, we got each other's backs, right?" Erwine nodded, smiling at the girl's warm words. She focused her thoughts. Despite her staunch disbelief in rumors of any sort, she wasn't going to test their truthfulness.
Besides, she was close to the school now. Nada was getting more and more tense, and Erwine realized her own muscles were beginning to become taught, and her heart was starting to beat faster and faster.
Erwine had come to understand that nothing was inevitable. Everything that was said to happen would happen at some point, unless it was outright rendered incapable of happening. Delaying the issue would only make it worse when the issue was finally confronted.
The issue that Nada and Erwine were now thinking of was one that was more important than any other in either of their lives up until this point. They had been waiting to discuss this issue for a long time, but it was not an issue that could be discussed by just the two of them alone. The two girls emerged from the alleyway, and moved out onto the street in front of the school.
Noises of hundreds of children filled the air, but the other sounds encountered in the city were not present, as this was not a place where many adults would be. Erwine and Nada easily made their way through the dozens of children who blocked their path, which would have been a short one, to the street corner where they would wait for their friends.
Erwine glanced hurriedly around, straining to see the amount of light in the sky. She had memorized long ago how bright the sky would be before classes would begin, it came with being in the same place for years and years. A small part of her mind wondered if they would have the time to discuss, there being only around ten minutes left before classes actually began. This was a day that none of them could miss.
Nevertheless, Erwine and her companion stood on the street corner, doing their best to ignore the biting cold as the snow rose up to the tops of their shoes. Every now and then, a cold gust of wind would sweep in, causing an additional wave of shivers in both of the girls. Their friends always took longer to arrive, being farther from the school then Erwine and Nada.
Erwine was constantly annoyed at that fact, as she and Nada waited most days to speak with them for at least a couple of minutes before classes began, but she could not be personally angry with them. They lived farther away because of their parents and the specific manufactorum where they worked, not because they wished to annoy Erwine.
Finally, after only a few minutes that were dragged into an eternity by the cold, Erwine saw her friends walking down the street. However, only two of the three were there. Matile and Renata always walked together, but at times, Natalya was a bit behind. She wasn't the best at waking up quickly and being ready to move in the mornings.
As the two girls approached, Erwine counted down in her head to find that they had but five minutes before they had to go. Classes started in ten, but it was good to be moving before the last five minutes, lest one be unexpectedly held up. She wanted to say something, but the pressure to resolve the issue now was clear, so Erwine kept her mouth shut as her friends joined her and Nada.
"Good morning," Matile said, and Renata echoed her. Nada responded in kind, and Erwine said the same thing. It was a short exchange, lacking any kind of true emotional investment, instead coming purely from the desire to stave off the awkwardness that would come if no one greeted one another.
It was a social constant, everyone greeted one another when meeting after saying goodbye, even if they did not exactly truly wish that person a good morning. It was clear that in this case, the various persons involved in the greetings truly wished the others a good morning, but lacked the space in their minds to truly put their heart into it, as they were otherwise occupied. The way they acted was just the norm.
Erwine had heard the stories told at mass. She'd heard rumors. She had a handbook assigned to sergeants in the Imperial Army. She knew very well that the universe was a scary place. The very fact that magical girls were needed told her that much.
Yet she'd never seen a single magical girl. Not a single one of those daemons parents told their children about had ever appeared before her. No xenos had ever threatened the world during her lifetime. Nothing had. There hadn't even been any sort of corruption, as far as Erwine knew.
From what little she understood of the world, her life was astoundingly normal, yet astoundingly safe at the same time. She didn't suffer like countless billions of others did. As a consequence, she would live a boring, monotonous life. Yet she would also live to die a natural death, other circumstances notwithstanding.
And here, now, so many girls were gathered to discuss a decision that, if made in a certain way, would shatter that normalcy. That would thrust them into a wider world. A more exciting world for certain, but it was a world none of them knew. None of them understood it in the slightest. Who was there to assure them that it wasn't just another monotonous routine to be forced into? Who was there to assure them that it wouldn't just crush them?
As Erwine counted down, she noticed Natalya was approaching. The girl was at least jogging lightly, showing she understood how late she was. That pleased Erwine. It would not do to stain her rather clean record with one tardy report. It was not that she would be punished for one, single, isolated incident, on a day on which many would be held up by concerns similar to Erwine's, it was that she had little to praise herself for, and having a perfect record was something Erwine could be proud of.
Natalya said good morning as she came closer, and like the good little pigs everyone else was, they said the same thing back. The five friends formed a circle, with nothing but the corner of the street in the middle. Erwine could strain her ears, and hear the sounds of other girls talking, some in groups just like this one.
No boys were outside at this point. They were all inside. They knew to give those of the other gender some time to themselves. The second year girls were for some reason standing outside, in the biting cold, in the freezing wind, in the cold snow, talking amongst themselves. Yet this talk was not idle chatter. It was talk that could decide their fates. Not just what they would do, but how they would die, when they would die, and who would be responsible for their deaths.
Erwine turned her head back to look at her close friends once more. They were her closest friends, and also her only true friends. They had always been with her, at least Nada had, and the others had been known to Erwine for years.
The other girls were looking around with the same uncertain gaze Erwine was, unsure of how to being the conversation, or even if a conversation should be begun in the first place. Nada had courage, however. She was always braver than most, especially Erwine.
"I assume that we are ready to speak?" she asked, her voice neutral and calm. She tried to not show any emotion, but the combination of fear and excitement within her was easily noticed by everyone in the group.
Fear, of the uncertainty of what the decision would be, of whether her opinion would be respected, of what the outcome of this conversation would be.
Excitement, that her future was to be decided right here, that what was said right now may change everything, that her very life was on the line.
Why a person would be excited about that was unknown to Erwine. She did a better job of hiding her feelings, and it was good that she did, for she felt nothing else but fear. Something told her that something would go wrong. It was her gut.
She liked to trust that part of her. That part that was her base instincts. It was usually right, while when she thought long and hard, she was usually wrong.
"I think that…" Nada had to take a breath in order to be able to say anything. Such was her excitement that she was barely able to speak. But her fear could have easily caused that same stuttering uncertainty her voice showed. "…If we are approached, then we should…" She trailed off.
There was a word that she did not want to say, simply because saying it would acknowledge the reality of this conversation. It would confirm that what was being spoke of was a real issue that all of the girls faced. A part of each of them just wanted to think that it was just a dream, a fantasy that would not, could not, become reality.
Natalya's breath caught in her throat as she opened her mouth to speak. There was only one reason she would stop like that. She had a contradictory point of view. Erwine mentally took a step back, waiting to see the effect Natalya's words had on Nada, before she added in her opinion.
"What is it?" Renata asked. Her harsh tone, critical of Natalya's fear, showed that she was supportive of Nada. Matile said nothing, but her posture, with her gaze fixed on Natalya, clearly displayed that she supported her roommate.
"I do not think we should be so quick to…" Natalya was also afraid to say the word. For some strange reason, it was impossible for this few girls to say a single, two-syllable word. Yet this word was one that could change their lives. "We should assess the outcome, carefully plan what we shall ask for, and then we proceed."
"Why?" Nada asked, "You've heard stories about how potential can fluctuate in the space of a day, sometimes even less than that." Her tone was not one of anger. It was one of a girl unable to understand the opinion of another, such was the passion she felt for her own opinion.
And when speaking on this matter, Nada could not be blamed for being so aggressive. No one could, really, such was the importance of it, especially when compared to the problems these five friends usually faced. And she had, of course, just spoken one of the many words which had already been playing a large role in the minds of the five girls. In the minds of all the teenage girls.
Potential. A word that meant relatively little to a boy, or a grown adult of the Imperium. But to a little girl, such a word meant the world. It was a measure of whether or not one was suitable to become a magical girl. And for many girls, like the five who talked on this snow-covered street corner on this cold, windy, winter day, becoming a magical girl was the difference between a good life, and a terrible one.
"Yes, we've all heard those stories, told by girls who were angry that they never had the chance in the first place," Natalya snapped back, but she instantly regretted her decision, as Renata and Matile had already made their side clear.
"We cannot take the risk," Renata insisted, "This is far too important a matter to ignore like this. We can't sit around and think about what we want to do. If we have the chance, then we should contract!" Her voice was a harsh snap, not yet a shout, but if the conversation escalated as it had been, then there would be trouble.
Perhaps it was this snapping tone that made her finally spurt out the word that none wanted to say, nor even consider saying. Contract. Another seemingly trivial word, that meant everything to these young girls.
Matile backed up her friend. The two had a habit of agreeing on everything. Unlike Erwine and Nada, they thought alike. They shot a glance at each other, confirming their support. "Natalya, I know that you are afraid. However, we cannot just spend multiple days carefully considering this issue, what is there even to consider, we all have dreams we want fulfilled right now."
Matile was calmer than her companion, definitely the better choice for speaking to Erwine. Nada cut in at the end of Matile's words, "And besides, what else are you going to think of, you know the rules for a wish?"
All of them knew the rules for making a wish. They were not hard to memorize. They did not leave much room for creativity. But when dealing with the nearly uncontrollable power of miracles, it was necessary in order to prevent unforeseen harm. Harm that could manifest on a massive scale.
Natalya shrunk back from the three girls, slowly sliding her feet back through the thick snow. She looked down at the ground, not wanting to meet the gazes of the others. "Alright," she said, "I guess…" She trailed off, knowing that saying any more would only be trying to gain pity, and that would be pointless.
Not wanting to watch any further, Erwine tried to speak up. "Excuse me," she said, a bit meekly, knowledgeable of the fact that she was facing three people who very strongly believed that their opinions were the correct ones.
"Yes?" Nada asked, suddenly kind with Erwine. At least for now. Erwine had a sneaking suspicion that Nada would be just as angry with her once she voiced her actual opinion on the matter.
"I…I must agree with Renata…" the sentence trailed off quickly as Renata and Matile turned to look at Erwine. Nada gritted her teeth.
"Really?" Nada asked. She wasn't angry. Rather, she seemed more disappointed. Erwine doubted that Nada could project any other emotion against her best friend.
"Nada…" Erwine warned, glancing at the sky quickly, "We don't have time for this." Her gut told her that they had…a ringing sound. The bell. Five minutes. Exactly.
"Erwine, we can't run from this forever," Nada said, taking a step towards Erwine. She wasn't angry. Her attitude was intense, but she merely wanted to talk. The step sent Erwine over the edge. .
Erwine flinched backwards, as if she was going to be struck. The girl stood several feet away from Nada, there was no chance. Yet the fear in her eyes was immense. Nada paused, wondering what she had done. I didn't want to hurt her, she thought, scared of herself.
Erwine stared into Nada's eyes, and Nada stared back into Erwine's eyes. The five girls were frozen. There was not a hint of tension in the air. There was only cold. A freezing gust of wind swept down the street, making each of the girls shiver as the wave of cold swept over their already freezing bodies.
As if she was cued by this gust of cold wind, Erwine turned and ran. There was a shout behind her, but that did not stop her from sprinting all the way to the front doors of the school, and entering before anyone could catch her.
It was not as if she would have known she was being chased, as she never looked back. Erwine went to her first class, silently, and with heavy thoughts weighing on her mind. Her body may have warmed in the slightly better conditioned building, but that did not mean that Nada's effect on her heart was taken away as well.
Unsicherheit
It was time for lunch. Erwine had already sat through three hours of classes, varying between interesting and boring topics. She was both motivated to care by the fact that her future depended on her paying attention, but also motivated to not care, because one could not be sure when they were a teenage girl.
Erwine walked slowly into the large cafeteria. Not a thought in her mind was given to hunger. The girl did not look forwards to the rest of the day with a happy heart.
Now, Erwine looked forwards half an hour with fear, thinking that what was said would only reinforce Nada's claims, and make her own opinion irrelevant. Nevertheless, she still had to eat, at least a little. It was not as if she had much, her food consisting of a mix of bread and meat, straight from the school kitchens. It was not tasty, at least to someone who had never had it before. For Erwine, it was quite enjoyable, as she had never tasted anything for lunch besides this, save on holidays dedicated to various Imperial figures.
She sat down at one of the smaller tables. She was hoping that she would be alone, but unfortunately, she saw someone moving towards her. It was the last person she wanted to talk to, but also the only one.
Nada sat down across from her friend, setting her tray down before placing her backpack on the floor. The heavy thumping sound made by the falling pack only served to disrupt the fragile peace of mind Erwine had established in the last few hours. She was frightened, but at least she was not panicking.
Nada said nothing as she started to eat. Erwine had yet to begin, having stopped when she saw Nada approaching, but she hesitantly began to eat now that her friend showed no signs of anger or any other negative emotion.
The two girls ate in silence while the world around them was filled with noise. Hundreds of other children all spoke to one another, about various things. Few conversations were as serious as they had been earlier, outside. However, Erwine knew that she would not get the chance to have a lighthearted talk about something trivial at this lunch.
Nada was waiting to make a move. She was looking for the right time, the right place, to insert the words that would push Erwine over the edge. Erwine kept risking quick glances at the girl, only to find that she was not being watched.
Nevertheless, Erwine watched her friend carefully, until Nada said, calmly and casually, "I'm not that great of a friend, am I?"
Erwine was taken by surprise. She stopped risking quick looks, and stared at the girl in front of her, who was still digging into her food as if it was the last meal she'd ever have. There was a certain melancholy on her face, a kind that suggested she was sad, but also willing to hope.
"What do you mean? You're a wonderful friend, Nada," Erwine replied. It only clicked in her mind that she was contradicting her own thoughts a second after she spoke.
"I don't really think so," Nada replied, "I wasn't that kind to you earlier. I regret how threatening I was, to both you and Natalya."
"I'm sorry as well," Erwine said, "I suppose that your opinion makes more sense." Erwine knew it made sense. It's why she didn't want to accept it. I can't face that possibility if it comes to it. I can't agree to this.
A coward like her was incapable of standing up to anyone, not even her best friend. "You don't suppose that, do you?" Nada asked. She had a light grin on her face, the corners of her mouth turned upwards enough so that she showed a perfect example of how to look entirely content with one's situation, "You believe strongly in your opinions, but you're too afraid to support them."
Erwine did not even wonder how Nada knew this. They had slept in the same hab every single day of their lives. They knew each other better than anyone. "You're wrong, I just don't want to stand up. I don't want to face the possibility of having to contract, especially so fast." Erwine said, averting her eyes from Nada's.
Nada reached across the table, touching her fiend underneath the chin, "Stop being so scared," she said, "It's just me, you've nothing to be afraid of,"
"I know," Erwine said, but she still kept looking away, even though Nada tried to bring her head back to face her. "I know," she repeated, and said the word a couple more times.
"In fact, Erwine, I think that this fear is what's causing your opinion," Nada explained, "You're scared of contracting, so you don't want to rush into it."
"I am scared," Erwine admitted. Admitting her fear was not hard for her, however. "But I have reasons,"
"I know," Nada said, her tone soft, "In fact, I'm afraid for those same reasons. I know that this choice will change both of our lives forever, with no way to change them back. We'll forever be apart, and only one will truly benefit from the situation."
"That's why," Erwine nodded.
"But don't you see?" Nada asked, "You can be a hero? Who would turn down the chance to go out into the galaxy, to see far-off planets, to go to the stars, something none of us will ever do, unless we contract?"
Nada leaned across the table, bringing her face close to Erwine's, "You can be a hero who saves people, a hero who is respected and praised, not a single worker in a manufactorum on this single world, don't you want that? Don't you want to be a bigger part of this world? Especially when all you have to do is say a few words?"
Erwine was scared. She was deathly afraid of having to one day face the chance to contract. Many things scared Erwine, but change was one of the things that frightened her more than anything else. And contracting would lead to more chance than Erwine could even imagine.
"I want that," Erwine said, "But we all want that…"
"So if you get the chance, then why don't you want to take it immediately?!" Nada asked, her louder volume not coming from anger, but rather from the excitement she showed in an attempt to convince Erwine.
This excitement was genuine, but Erwine had always known that she had and Nada were different people. "I think that I would just prefer to stay here," Erwine said, "It's safer that way,"
"So what?!" Nada asked, leaning across the table even further, now slamming her hands down on it. Although she was obviously not angry, her excitement was beginning to scare Erwine. "Just take a chance for once in your life, you don't know how well it could pay off!"
Erwine had anger in her suddenly. She may be scared of everything, but she was willing to retaliate when people pushed her past her breaking point. Her mouth opened, and she burst into tears, falling back into her seat just as quickly as she had stood to launch her retort.
Erwine covered her face with her hands, trying to hide herself from the gazes of the other people in the cafeteria. However, most understood what today was, and those who did not were quickly informed by those who did know. Nobody except the rudest in the room looked on as Erwine cried. It was not as if she was the only person in the room doing so at the moment.
"I'm sorry," Nada said. She was back in her seat, having lost all the excitement she had displayed earlier. "I scared you, didn't I?" She knew what she did. The shame was obvious.
"Yes, of course you did." Erwine said, the tears slipping from her eyes. "But you know who I am. I'm scared, Nada. I can't do anything even mildly stressful without breaking down in tears. All I can do is repeat the everyday schedule, or else I'll go crazy with fear."
Just go, Erwine thought, or stay quiet. Whichever. We can't go on like this. Instead, Nada stood back up, and stared right into Erwine's eyes, fixing her with a glare that could make daemons back down. "If you have potential, then make the contract," Her voice was flat. She looked at Erwine a second longer. Then she was walking away, leaving her tray there.
Erwine watched her go, and slowly, but surely, shrunk back from all the eyes that were now turned to her. Not knowing what to do, the little girl went back to eating her food in silence.
Leere Worte
Lunch had ended five minutes ago. Erwine had quickly moved through the halls to reach the classroom where she was supposed to be. All girls of her age had been assigned the classroom where they would go, to be taught by a specially trained teacher.
She pushed her way through the halls, going slowly, and keeping her head down. The world was filled with the sounds of the dozens of conversations occurring all around her. It always was like that, but today was different. The girls and boys only spoke of one thing.
Magical girls. Of course it dominated the minds of everybody, it wasn't like Erwine was confused by why. It was the whirlwind of discussion that the topic generated. She tried to ignore the voices, not listen to the rumors they spun, to the hearsay they passed on, to the supposed facts that their grandparents told them.
It was difficult though, so incredibly difficult. Erwine stopped trying, and just did her best to disregard the words, rather than ignore them entirely. It was as if a million 'experts' on magical girls were speaking all at once.
Some purported that they saw them running about the city in the middle of the night, fighting monsters. Why would magical girls want to hide their presence? Erwine thought. Others said that they'd lost their cousin, or their father, or their pet mouse (of all things), to these mysterious monsters in the dark.
Erwine had never seen such things, yet she'd rarely been out after dark. Perhaps there was some truth. Yet the things some tried to sell were simply preposterous. One stood up high and insisted that she'd heard, from her mother, that her aunt had been tortured to death by a magical girl. A boy cried out that his little sister was stolen away in the middle of the night. A whole group argued about whether or not their thoughts were being constantly monitored, with some insisting that their thoughts were entirely controlled, and that no one had free will.
Then why not just make people contract? Erwine thought, almost wanting to laugh at the claims. And then there were those who tried to sell themselves as the relative of some famous person. A girl insisted that her older sister was a famous mage knight, and told long and intricate tales of her exploits.
Then how is she getting back to you? Erwine wondered. No one asked the question though, as the girl was incredibly emotional about the stories. The world can't be so connected so that a mage knight may talk back to her sister, so…far away. Erwine sighed. I don't even know what unit of measure to use.
Hundreds of miles don't separate stars. Probably not thousands…millions probably, Erwine decided, millions of miles away. How can you talk over that distance? Erwine was close to her destination, but just had the time to hear another rant about some girl's plan to contract and then become some great hero.
Erwine couldn't imagine hurting something else. She heard about the horrors that were the daemons, xenos, and traitors that threatened the Imperium, but she'd never seen them for herself. Must little girls go out and fight everyday? Erwine looked up.
She encountered the ceiling. The girl stiffened, pausing, people pushing her to the side as she blocked the congested hallway. Erwine almost expected to see the sky above her. Maybe even stars. But she was in school. The ceiling was there.
I'll never go up there…Erwine thought, imagining that great black space, with bits of light throughout. But when she looked inside her heart, she was certain that she didn't want to go up there. She preferred down on Siothea. Down here, the world made sense.
And while one day would pass by the same as the next, it was better than suffering at the hands of monsters beyond her wildest dreams. Truthfully, while others sought escape from the dullness of their normal lives, Erwine couldn't shake a feeling the normalcy was better than the alternative.
Erwine had gotten a bit mixed up, having headed for one of her normal classes rather than the special one. She hurried along now, her pace a bit too fast. She just didn't see the girl. It was if she came from nowhere.
First the girl, then the wall. Erwine collided with the former and bounced into the latter. Papers spilled from her hand, as the traffic curved around her. Erwine looked for the girl she'd hit, and found her already helping Erwine with what she'd dropped.
Getting to one knee, Erwine grabbed up the rest, before the remainder was placed into her hand by the girl. The silver-haired girl looked into the blue eyes she found, and was amazed. It was though time itself stopped.
The girl there was simply beautiful. It was as if an angel had come down before Erwine. She wore the normal school uniform, yet she seemed to carry herself in an intelligent, mature fashion. Her demeanor, it seemed alien to Erwine. Yet the smile she put on was beautiful.
"Thank you," Erwine said, taking a step back. She hit the wall, yet kept looking at the girl. The step was out of shock. She'd been thrown quite harshly from her train of thought with the impact.
The girl tilted her head, raising her eyebrows. "You alright?" she asked, "Is something wrong? Anything I can help you with?" The girl was a complete stranger. She acted as such, but the kindness she displayed was just unusual.
Out of the corners of her eyes, Erwine noticed that no one else seemed to care that they were taking up half the hallway. It was strange, but perhaps this girl was a well-known figure. "I was just thinking," Erwine explained. The girl looked to be her age. Perhaps she's new. She looks new. But where might she have come from?
"Contracting," The girl, whose navy blue hair was in two tails, guessed. "Just the standard anxiety?"
Erwine nodded. I guess what I'm feeling is what so many others feel. I'm by no means a special one. "Yeah…" She muttered, looking for an exit.
"I'm sure you'll be fine," The girl explained, grinning happily. "You don't seem like the others. You're thinking about it, not many do. You've already got an edge." The girl looked around. "Well, we should get going. Can't be late." The girl turned.
Erwine followed after her, her mouth opening to ask her name. Yet the girl had disappeared into the crowd. And the crowd was now once again pushing her to the side.
She had reached the class. Her mind kept running, but the anxiety in her chest was growing. Erwine was one of the first to arrive, having rushed all the way from the cafeteria, knowing, thinking, that everyone had been staring at her and talking about in the aftermath of the incident between her and Nada.
Erwine took a few seconds to catch her breath as she found a seat that was closest to the back. Sitting down, she leaned back in her chair, staring up at the ceiling. She focused on a single point, and watched as the world spun around the small imperfection in the ceiling that she had observed.
It helped her take her mind off the fact that someone she knew might have seen what happened, and that they might be coming to this room. That would be disastrous. Erwine could not imagine having to then talk to them as they sat next to her. She could only hope that they would know her well enough to not bother her.
Minutes passed, and by the time the bells rang to indicate the beginning of the next period, the classroom was full. Thirty students now sat in the room. Erwine had spent most of the time staring up at the ceiling, and only when she heard the teacher begin to move did she look down, knowing she concentrated better when looking at what she needed to focus on.
However, the first words of the teacher's lecture were completely lost to her, as she looked down and saw someone who she did not want to see. Nada was in one of the front rows. Erwine was unsure of whether or not she had been noticed by her friend, but she instinctively shrunk back, trying to reduce her presence.
"…few months ago at the most," the teacher, who Erwine did not know, finished saying something about how everyone listening to her had turned thirteen. "And that is why you are now here,"
The teacher seemed a bit concerned. She was not used to doing this, that was obvious, but she was able to do it. And she knew what she was doing, that was obvious as well. However, she seemed more concerned about some of the people she saw in the room. Erwine noticed her looking at various people, herself included, in the pause between what she had been saying, and her new sentence.
"My job is to instruct you on how to contract, something that many girls do not truly understand. Many of you function based on only rumors that are untrue, and that must be stopped as soon as possible, before one of you makes a mistake that you will come to regret more than any other mistake."
Erwine was paying attention to the teacher, which was for certain. She understood little about the intricacies of contracting, but she knew that there were dangers. Dangers that a meek girl like her wished to avoid at all costs. Erwine turned her full focus on the teacher, not wanting to miss a single word she said.
"First of all, there is the contract itself. Many girls do not entirely understand what this is, and that is why I am here to enlighten all of you. A contract, as defined by the Encyclopedia Magica is: 'The process through which a female, between the ages of twelve and nineteen, becomes a magical girl. Only an Incubator is capable of offering a contract. The Incubator, and by extension the Goddess, will grant the female one wish, and in exchange, the female will become a magical girl, and eternally serve the Goddess and Her Imperium.'"
The teacher had clearly memorized this quote well, as she did not hesitate in the speaking of it. "I am sure some of you are questioning some of the words within that description, so I shall explain." Not really, Erwine thought. She imainged that the thought was shared by many in the room. Though this was most likely all procedure, Erwine thought that they had to know that everyone knew practically everything there was to know about the system by the time they reached this age.
"An Incubator is a manifestation of the Goddess's will, a small, white creature which offers a contract. The Goddess brought magic into the universe when she was born, so only she has the power to grant magic to another being. But from her throne on Holy Terra, she cannot reach everyone everywhere, so she created the Incubators to do her bidding for her. If you see a small, white creature, with long ears, and a fluffy tail, then do not fear it, nor destroy it. While this is appropriate behavior with any alien species, the Incubators are not aliens, and are vital to the existence of humanity."
"They shall only approach you if you have potential. Potential, as some of you may know, is the measure of one's power as a magical girl. Having potential, any at all, means you are eligible to make a contract. The process of making a contract is not a complex one. You will have to make a wish for something that only you want."
The teacher paused. What she was going to say next was incredibly important, so she had to let her words sink in. She even repeated her last sentence, just to prepare the girls in the room for what she was going to say next.
"You cannot wish for something that will in any way directly affect another person. You can only directly affect yourself with the wish. You cannot simply wish for all the sadness to go away, or for there to be peace everywhere. These wishes directly affect other people, so they cannot be made."
"And what, you ask, are the consequences of making such a wish? The consequences are unknown. The repercussions that could occur from such a massive wish could result in the death of the entire human race. Even if you wish for your friend's broken arm to be healed, you could end up dead, as well as all your friends."
The teacher paused once more, and Erwine's eyes widened. Her eyes were not the only eyes in the room to widen, and her mouth was not the only one to drop in shock. There was a sudden sense of unease in the room, as none of the girls wanted to hear that their wishes, the wishes that were supposed to bring happiness, could also bring harm.
"This does not meant that making a wish is bad. In fact, contracting is something you should do, as soon as you have the chance. Being girls in this kind of a place should certainly inspire you to achieve great things as a magical girl. You should all have a wish prepared to be said at any time or any place. You cannot hesitate."
"The stories about potential sometimes disappearing overnight are true. You may go to sleep scared and uncertain, and wake up with no other option in your life but to stay on the path you have always been on." Erwine shuddered a little. Knowing my indecisiveness, that might just be my fate.
Erwine felt this threat, and she realized that Nada had to be correct in what she said. She cursed herself for ever doubting the thoughts of her friend. She didn't think that a coward would somehow be correct anyways.
"However, there are some things to look forwards to," the teacher said, "Such as the prestigious organization you will join when you contract. The mage knights are always looking for new members, and I am sure that the next company to stop by this subsector shall make certain to collect all potential candidates."
A girl's hand went up. Her hand was followed by several others. The teacher called on the first hand to raise. "Does the Inquisition actually exist?" the girl asked. It was an expected question. Erwine had heard so much about this invisible boogey-man that she was starting to actually believe it all.
"No, the inquisition is nothing more than a fairy tale invented to scare children and adults who think of stepping out of line. The Mage Knights handle all matters when it comes to magical girls." All the hands in the room went down. Erwine had no questions to ask.
The teacher continued to speak, but it was on trivial matters, like specific examples of good wishes, and the specific exploits of various magical girls, which had supposedly come from this planet. Erwine found it all interesting. Pride occasionally coursed through her heart. It's not just some girl randomly spouting off her connection to a long-lost relative who supposedly single-handedly saved the Imperium.
She actually found herself paying attention, though she wasn't sure than anyone else in the room was. At least for Erwine, she took all this as a sign of what she could be. I could be a great person, I could make a difference…but I doubt I can ever be like that. With the shudder of fear that even the thought of contracting sent coursing through her, Erwine knew that to be true.
At some point, a note found its way into Erwine's hand. It was passed by various people, but it had been handed out originally by only one person. Erwine unfolded the paper and recognized the handwriting of her best friend.
I'm sorry for the way I was acting earlier. We've been friends for so long, I should know who you are by now, so it's all my fault. I hope we can have a better conversation later, hopefully as soon as this finishes up.
The note ended there, but it was enough to make Erwine happy. A warm feeling was suddenly in her chest, and she looked up to see that Nada was doing well in concealing her writing of the note. She was looking ahead dutifully, and Erwine immediately went back to doing that.
The other girls around her glanced at each other, wondering what was on the note, but Erwine concealed it from them, and continued to listen to the teacher speak. All of a sudden, she was a lot happier. She had been happier at times, but this day was certainly a special one. For some reason, the defeats Erwine had suffered in the past few hours were gone, and all that was left was a sense of hope for a brighter future.
The bell rang loudly, and classes were over for the day. After all the stories, the teacher had answered some more questions about them. Despite all that was said, Erwine felt as though she came out of the class knowing the same amount about the Imperium and magical girls as she did when she went in.
She stood, eyes set on Nada's spot. She was about to try and push her way through the crowd, but was stopped by a strangely familiar voice. "Hello," Erwine spun her head, gasping.
That beautiful girl from earlier stood there, grinning happily again. "Feeling a bit better about your choice?" The girl held a stack of papers close to her chest, but Erwine could not see what was on them.
"I haven't made a choice yet," the silver-haired girl replied. For some reason, she felt uncomfortable. "I still have to think."
The other girl chuckled, "Sorry, a slip of the tongue. I meant to ask about that thinking. Are you feeling better?" She leaned forwards, eyes locked onto Erwine's. The contact felt strange. The girl looked at her as though they knew each other well.
Erwine could nod to that. "I suppose so…" she muttered. She almost leapt out of her skin when the girl put a hand on her cheek, gently running her fingers over her skin. The sensation she got was strange. She had no intention of resisting.
"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be fine. Just don't be mean to your friend, there's more to her than you might think. Trust her, as she knows more than you." The girl said, her voice stern. "See you later, Erwine. Stay safe."
The girl strode away. Erwine turned to follow, reaching after her, "Hey I never got your…name…" The girl had disappeared into the crowd, as though she was never there.
The general paranoia about magical girls suddenly started to get to Erwine. She hurried over to Nada as the room was entirely cleared of students. Nada was leaning against the wall at the front of the room, and she was the last person in the room besides Erwine. Even the teacher had left.
Erwine walked through the maze of desks and chairs, to stand in front of Nada. She held herself straight, but still shuddered a little as she looked at her friend. Nada smiled, "I'm sorry," she said, "I know that I've apologized already today, but I hope that I can actually follow it up this time,"
"It's not your fault," Erwine blurted out. It was sudden, but it was not loud. She simply interrupted what Nada was going to say next with those four words, and she continued to speak. She was content as she explained. "I'm just scared. There's nothing more to it than that. No need to worry about a coward like me." She grinned. She knew that this was the person she was.
Nada frowned, "Don't put yourself down like that, you can be strong when you want to be."
"I know," Erwine said, "And that's why I wish this was one of those times. To be scared of contracting is to be unwilling to serve the Goddess. By being a coward like this…" Erwine choked up, "I'm basically the same as any other traitor or heretic."
"No," Nada interrupted, "You're not on their level. A girl like you could never go there. You're scared, but you're also so innocent. So confident in who you are. You don't want to change that."
"I'm a traitor…" Erwine muttered, breaking down into tears again. "A bad, bad traitor." Nada leapt forwards, embracing the girl.
"You're not," She insisted. "Why would the Goddess force a girl like you into contracting? You don't have to do it. Her Holy Majesty would never want to hurt a little girl like you."
"We can't forget about this just because we assume I won't have potential." Erwine countered. Where does potential even come from? She wondered briefly, before quashing the thought. It was a key component of the human soul, something one had when they were created.
"Then make the contract when you have the chance," Nada said, holding Erwine tightly to her, "Just do it, and don't worry about what will happen next."
"Why?" Erwine said, "How am I supposed to live only in the moment, and not consider the past or the future?"
"Just push those thoughts aside!" Nada exclaimed, determined to help her friend, "You have the power, just don't worry anymore! I know you better than you know yourself sometimes, and I know you can get through anything! That fear of yours makes you smarter than you think."
"I'm scared," Erwine said. Her body trembled. She hung onto Nada as if she hung over a huge precipice, and the girl was one thing holding her up. "I can't do this."
"Yes you can!" Nada exclaimed. She was sounding less and less excited by the second. "Don't just deny me because you want to stay in this state. I know you can be happy, Erwine. Don't let me down."
"I will, though." Erwine said, "I'm too frightened to decide anything."
Nada stepped back, bumping into the wall. She slid down the wall, covering her face with her hands as she suppressed tears. Erwine stepped back, silent. She wanted to run. Her eyes glanced to the door, then back. Just run away from all of this, from all her obligations. Nada sat with her back to the wall, her knees to her chest, and her hands on her face, shuddering as she held back a waterfall of tears.
"I just want one of us to be a hero," Nada whispered, her words barely audible. "I just want one of us to contract, and get out of here. Whether it's you or me, I don't care."
"That's why you want us to agree to contract immediately," Erwine realized, "Because you're afraid you'll lose your chance, when you're completely ready to go right now,"
Nada nodded slightly. Slightly so that Erwine had to think about whether Nada actually nodded or not. "I just want to be a hero," the young girl on the ground whispered, "I don't want to be here anymore. You read those books, and read of the outside world, and you don't care. I take glances at them, and I know that I want to be part of that bigger world."
"I don't want to stop you, Nada," Erwine said. "Make your own choices."
"But I don't want you to stay here either. I think it'd be amazing if you went out there and became a hero." Nada sighed heavily, trembling, "Everyone tells those stories of their best friend who contracted, and is now some kind of great leader." She shook her head. "I don't want to hear those stories from you. I just want to know that you're out there, doing great things."
Erwine froze. She looked to the side. Why don't I run away? I'm a coward. I'll never contribute much to the world. Why not just run out into the cold and die? It might even be better that way. Yet she remembered what she had been told.
'Trust her'. That girl…who is she? Is she a figment of my mind? She appears and disappears in such unnatural ways. Perhaps she's…not real. It wasn't something Erwine wanted to court. The thought of a specter appearing before her eyes brought about thoughts of daemons. But still…she was right. Though she chose to listen to that girl, Erwine wondered if she'd regret the choice in the future.
"Alright," Erwine said, "Let's both try to contract as soon as we can, alright?"
Nada's jaw dropped. Her eyes opened wide. She embraced her friend. They sat for several minutes, locked in the hug, before Nada whispered, "We should really go. The others are probably getting tired of waiting for us."
Erwine said nothing, just nodding, but it was a few seconds before they did. The two girls stood up, gathered their things, and happily strolled outside alongside one another. Both seemed to be as happy as they could ever be.
Entscheidung
Outside, they saw their friends waiting for them. Erwine and Nada were surprised that all three had waited for their friends. Natalya, Renata, and Matile stood in various positions at the bottom of the steps leading up to the doors of the school.
Natalya spoke first, "Good afternoon," she said, and her words were echoed by Renata and Matile.
"We came to a decision, if you are all ready," Nada said.
The three other girls nodded. Erwine started the conversation, saying, "I have told Nada that I will contract at the first opportunity." She looked at Natalya, knowing her to be the only other source of opposition in the morning.
Natalya nodded, "I have agreed to that as well," she said. The five girls looked at one another, a sense of relief rising up from seemingly nowhere as the muscles of each girl relaxed, and the five started to laugh at how they had treated each other on this day. It had been embarrassing, the fact that they had spent so much time getting angry with each other, when they had been best friends for years.
Their laughter lasted for a full minute, and in this time they all fell to the ground, their muscles weakened by their mad laughter, and gravity's effects enhanced by their heavy packs. Erwine fell onto her back, stretching out across multiple steps, looking up at the cloudy sky. The day had brought some new snow, but it had stopped for now.
The freezing wind of the morning was gone, only increasing the sense of happiness the five girls felt, as they did not have to shiver every five seconds in order to maintain a barely appropriate temperature. Erwine felt the cold snow on her back, and relished the cold sensation. She had always preferred the cold to heat in any situation, except when there was a biting wind as there had been that morning.
In this kind of cold, Erwine was right at home. She laid back on the snow, even though the stone steps she lay on did hurt her back a little. The other girls were in the same positions Erwine was in, just staring up at the cloudy sky, the relief from finally coming to a consensus after what had seemed like years overwhelming all other concerns related to contracting.
Erwine wished that she could have just lay back on the snow forever. She would later wish that she had chosen to do that on this day. However, the five young girls had to get home. They had nothing to do, and were not expected back, but it was not the best idea to be outside in this area when no one was around, and it had been thirty minutes since classes had ended. Most of the people there had already returned home.
Natalya was the first to stand, and this triggered the other girls to stand as well. They all said goodbye to each other, as they did every day they saw each other, before heading home in their separate directions.
However, Erwine was reminded of something. "Nada, I need to go ask Natalya about a test, you can go along without me," Erwine said, before turning around quickly. Just a question about class. Erwine had dozed off, and forgot when the next test was. Nothing too important.
"I can wait, are you sure that you'll be fine?" Nada asked, but Erwine simply nodded, before sprinting off. Nada shook her head, chuckled and kept on walking. It was cold, she didn't want to wait around.
The Goddess: Her Holy Majesty The Goddess of Hope, Magic, and Mankind. The supreme ruler of the Imperium of Mankind and all those within its borders, Her Holy Majesty rests upon the Golden Throne of Holy Terra. Wounds from ancient battle laid Her low, but even in Her state of recovery, Her Holy Majesty watches over us all. She protects those who are faithful, and grants the wishes of those who contract with her. Without The Goddess, mankind would have fallen to the ravages of this world long ago. Pray to Her, for she is the salvation for all of us.
-Excerpt from Her Ladyship Tomoe's Encyclopedia Magica
Start MSOC report. Approximately 1207 Universal Standard Time, 036.04.08, Inquisitor Adrianne Azure. I have arrived in the Siothea system. The smuggling network established by the individual I believe to be Ishna Kleimar points to Siothea as a part of that net. Descent shall occur most likely tomorrow, 036.04.09. No intention of bringing in any new magical girls. Estelle Adramartis is presumably a day or so behind me, depending on the whims of the warp. I intend to maintain the status quo with her, no intention of engaging. I do not expect to go loud on Siothea, and with any luck, the PDG won't even notice I'm there. Furthermore, I hope to minimize the damage to the world itself, in every conceivable manner. Apologies if I do cause trouble, though. Conclude MSOC report. Next report on 036.04.15, should time allow.
-Report from Inquisitor Adrianne Azure to Tempestus Four Toella Multi-Sector-Overwatch-Committee.
I know I haven't been heard from in a month, but the revision is actually going quite well. It should all be posted up within the next week, ending by the 25th at the most. I'm just putting the first chapter up now because the first chapter of the original draft was posted last year on the friday of this week. Going by numerical date it's tomorrow, but I still prefer the day.
The rest should be coming as soon as I start to feel nothing more can be improved upon.
I also changed the millennium dates. I think I tricked myself into thinking rolling it back was necessary in the first place, so i'm just going to run with the standard 40k times. Also, if I had my way, the little things in German at the beginning of each scene would be in the Madoka runes font, but it doesn't seem to work, no matter what I try.