Forgive me for grammar mistakes I haven't written anything in almost a decade.

An Imps Guide to raising a boy wizard.

Blitz raises Harry with the help of Stolas and the IMP crew.

It was an ordinary day for Blitzo, the O is silent by the way. He fucked around the office while avoiding another explicit phone call from his company's benefactor. Mocked Moxie while he went over the books and his beloved Loonie manned the phones with her usual monotone "Hello IMP."

However, he couldn't help but feeling today was going to be very different indeed. He shook his head. It's just nerves from Stolas' last explicit call...2 minutes ago. He liked the Prince but he swears the guy liked to live on the edge.

"Millie your in charge I'm taking a personal half day." Blitzo said as he gathered up his shit and left. He just couldn't shake the feeling that something was off today.

"You got it Boss." Millie faithfully saluted.

"You could learn something about loyalty from your Hoe Moxie." Blitzo teases the bow tie wearing imp. "Loonie you know what to do. Call me when you need a ride home."

"Got it." Loona gave him a thumbs up. Then got out a shotgun loaded with paintballs.

"Sir the paintball gun isn't necessary yipe!" Moxie dodged a paint Shell from Loona.

"I do trust ya Mox, if I didn't I wouldn't have Loonie with the shotgun it'd be Mills."

"You know me babe, I'd probably be a harsher taskmaster than Loona." Millie said honestly, sharpening a hunting knife.

Grimacing, Moxie huffed and got back to making sure this company had enough funds to stay open next week. "Fuuuck." Another yipe as Blitz closed the door told him Loona gave him an extra shot for the sass.

He did a few errands, grabbed an iced coffee, ran to the bank to deposit money in the corporate account, had an afternoon snack through an unhealthy drive through for a change. He just couldn't shake the feeling something was off today. And then he got to his apartment building and saw a box on the steps. Residents walked out of the building not even noticing it.

"Huh, weird." The tall imp said as he approached the box the gasped.

It was a human infant. He was whimpering. He had a fresh wound on his forehead. Like a lightning bolt.

"Holy shit." Blitzo said getting a kerchief our and dabbing at the fresh wound on the little guys forehead. "I know this is Hell but who the fuck would carve into a babies head?" Well to be honest lots of people in Hell would probably carve this little guy up soon as they saw him.

Blitzo looked around. He didn't see anybody on the street that might've left a human infant.

"Wait a tick. Are...are you alive?" Blitzo put his ear to the babies chest. A human heartbeat.

Blitz grunted. The little guy had woken up and curiously grabbed hold of one of his horns with both hands. Blitz looked and saw the kid holding onto his horn like a sloth.

"You got a pretty strong grip eh little guy? But seriously let go." Blitz said. The imp gently unwrapped the kids hands and then he grabbed onto his neck.

"Okay I guess this will have to do for a while." Blitzo said holding onto the infant.

He brought the baby into his apartment. Making notes to put things away to keep them out of grabby baby hands.

Making note to get a crib and some baby things he brought out his phone.

"Oh Daddy! Oh Daddy Oh Daddy!" Blitzys ringtone rang on Stolas's phone. Eagerly the owl prince picked up. "Hello my Big Dic-"

"Gonna stop ya right there big fella I got an infant in my arms trying to crawl all over me."

"Excuse me?"

"I need you to bring me some baby supplies."

"I'll...be right over."

--

After stopping at a baby mart for some clothes, toys, bibs and bottles Stolas found himself in his lovers apartment with a squirmy human child in his arms.

"Oh Blitzy he's adorable." Stolas said eagerly as the infant snuggled into his down chest. "You didn't kidnap a baby for me did you?"

"Look I may be an assassin but I'm no kidnapper. He was literally on my buildings doorstep and I watched 3 people walk right past him."

Stolas hmmed in thought. "It sounds like he may be of a magical bloodline and had a What the mortals call a Notice me Not charm placed on him to protect him until a specific imp found him."

"Why me? I'm an assassin if I have a kid-"

"It could be that whoever or whatever left this little one on your threshold did so because it saw all your good qualities as outweighing the bad ones."

"Like the assassination startup? The swearing? The overly sexual comments I make on a reg-"

"Yes yes yes we all know that but consider this in the entire time I've been here I haven't heard you swear or say anything overtly sexual around him."

"I mean...I am a parent I know how-"

"Exactly my dear Blitzy." Stolas bopped the imps nose. "You are a parent. As am I. We both know babies minds are like sponges and therefore automatically go into parent mode around them. So...what are you going to do now?" The owl twink asked as he crossed his legs. Handing the boy back to Blitzo.

Blitzo held the baby to his chest. "What do ya say little guy? Want me to be your dad?"

The baby squealed and started sucking on his claw.

--

So I love Helluva Boss AND Hazbin Hotel But I love Helluva Boss a bit more. I do hope to see more Helluva Boss Harry Potter crossovers in the future.

Some ideas I'm playing around with are Harry being like a mini Blitzo while retaining some of his original character like his hero complex. Having a similar fashion sense and carrying his own custom flintlock to Hogwarts that shoots rock salt rounds. Either is friends with Draco or he repeatedly shoots him with rock salt as a running gag.

Stolas is obviously Papa Birb. They'll move in to his mansion eventually.

Not 1 but 2 big sisters in Octavia and Loona.

Has an appreciation for music due to Moxies influence. And a thirst to prove himself in battle from Millie.

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