Misdialing Death
Shinigami-sama got off his once in a decade conference call with the council of shinigami and reapers of other realities. His shoulders hunched as he brought his dinner-plate-sized hands to rub at his temples. He'd gotten himself stuck with a project again. He so hated these meetings, they always suckered him into something annoying.
"Oh well, no point in bellyaching about it. Let's look at potential candidates," he said with a chirp. A wave of his hand in front of the tall mirror in his room made it light up and begin to show him different faces. As each face passed by, Shinigami-sama muttered to himself the pros and cons of the individual. It was hours later when his crooked hat had slipped down over his sweating brow that he gave up. "Dash it all, I just have to settle!"
And with that the cosmic power personified made some gestures, screwing around with causality in two realities away from his own. Satisfied with his work he cracked his neck and yelled for his Death Scythe to get him a drink to kick back with. While he raged at his Death Scythe being absent again, two poor bastards worlds away got a nasty surprise.
(scene break)
Uzumaki Naruto had been haphazardly packing his things to leave on a three-year training mission with Jiraiya of the Sannin. He was both excited and a little anxious for what was coming. On one hand he would be learning 'awesome jutsus,' one the other hand he would be away from his Sakura-chan; just when it looked like she was beginning to warm to him.
He ran into his bathroom to grab his toothbrush when he noticed it. He hadn't taken a shower but somehow the mirror over the sink was fogged up. He pulled aside the shower curtain but the stall was dry. He peered at the misted mirror suspiciously and saw writing on it.
"What?" he groused to himself in annoyance. "42-42-564 when you want to knock on death's door? Who the Hell wants to knock on - HEY!" The mirror suddenly bulged out like a bubble and caught Naruto in itself. Then deflated like a balloon, while swallowing the Hokage-wannabe.
The Toad Sannin showed up an hour later to lay into the boy for keeping him waiting. He found an apartment with things strewn about as if a struggle had taken place in it. He had no way of knowing that was how it tended to look when Naruto prepared for an out-of-village mission. Be that as it may, he came to the correct conclusion that Naruto had been kidnapped.
Fear gripped him for the boy's safety and the fact that Tsunade was going to pummel him for not protecting Naruto.
(Scene break)
Harry Potter had just saved his ungrateful cousin's life from a pair of Dementors. He was currently numbly holding a letter from the Ministry of Magic, while his aunt and uncle yelled at him. His wand was to be snapped and he was expelled from Hogwarts.
No, he wailed in his mind, I won't let them. He hurried away from his relatives planning on getting his things and running before the Ministry's aurors arrived. An owl swooped and dropped a letter on his head as he ran up the flight of stairs to his room. Harry grabbed it, noting the strange seal on it. It looked like a bowling ball with three spiked teeth coming off of it - either that or it's a cartoon skull, he thought.
Slamming closed the door to his bedroom behind him, Harry tore open the letter. Inside he found a fogged up handheld mirror. Carefully holding the mirror by the paper of the envelope, Harry set it on his desk. "What in Merlin's name is this?" he mused with great suspicion. The misadventure with portkeys at the end of his last year had taught him to be careful of strange objects. Yet, he was spellbound as characters appeared on the surface as if someone was writing them with a finger: 42-42-564 when you want to knock on death's door. "Is this a Deatheater threat?!"
The mirror suddenly expanded to the size of a vanity mirror and grew a mouth. Harry snapped out his wand to curse the damned thing. Sadly, with eldritch speed, the mirror leapt off the desk at him and ate him. Harry's wand clattered to the floor, the mirror seemed to regard it for a moment, but then let out a loud burp and disappeared.
Two more letters arrived from Order members but they remained unopened. Late that night when the Order guard arrived they found the house empty of the Boy-Who-Lived. His wand was recovered from his bedroom as was the envelope with the strange and comical skull seal.
The Order concluded that Harry had been kidnapped as he would never leave without his wand. Snape decided that Harry, in a pique borne of teenage angst, had turned his back on the wizarding world (and good riddance). The Ministry put out a press release entitled The-Boy-Who-Went-Rogue.
…Or Rogue-Who-Lived as Witch Weekly preferred. That exalted publication juicily reported that a certain French part-Veela had seduced their straight-laced hero away.
(Scene break)
In the desert plains outside Death City they appeared out of thin air, rocketing towards each other. Their foreheads smashed against each other and they fell to the ground with yelps of pain.
Naruto rubbed his head but recovered sooner as he had been wearing his protector. He leapt up and got into a fighting stance but only found the boy who he had collided with. The boy was still on the ground rubbing his head furiously. Naruto took a moment to look around and found that he was nowhere near Konoha. To his knowledge there weren't any deserts near his village or even in Fire County. Maybe he'd ended up in Wind Country-but how?
"Oi!" He called obnoxiously. "Did you bring me here with a time-space jutsu? If you did I'm gonna kick your ass!"
"What?" the other boy hissed in pain and stood up. "Bloody Hell! It was a portkey, I can't believe I fell for it again." Naruto noted the boy was slightly taller than him and instantly took a dislike to him. But, Naruto noted, he did have a cool lightning shaped scar on his head. Naruto was suddenly insanely jealous of the boy's battle scar.
"Hey! Hey! Answer me before I beat you up. I don't care if you have that cool scar, it won't stop me." Naruto crossed his arms and tried to look intimidating by narrowing his eyes.
The bespectacled boy blinked slowly at him. "What was the question again?" he asked, as he began looking around for something on the desert floor.
"Rude!" Naruto pointed a finger at the boy. "I asked if you did a time-space jutsu to bring me here."
The other boy cursed under his breath as he failed to find what he was looking for. "No I didn't do a time-space jutsu, whatever that is. I think it was a…nevermind." Naruto didn't failed to notice the suspicious look the boy shot his way. "So did you just get transported from a different place too?" he asked.
"Yeah, I was in my bathroom, and the mirror burst in a bubble and brought me here," Naruto shared. "Creepy ninjutsu."
"Ninjutsu? What's that," The boy asked warily. "Something like that happened to me too."
"Ehhhh? You mean you don't know what ninjutsu is? It's only the most amazing thing in the world after ramen!" Naruto chortled. "Look, see!" He brought his hands together in a cross seal and suddenly multiplied.
The other boy looked at the shadow clones in shock, his green eyes widened behind his glasses. "Wow, that's an amazing spell," he said as he pooked a Naruto clone near him. "So you're a wizard too, should've said something, mate. I was afraid of breaking the statue of secrecy there. Where are you from, I haven't ever seen magic like this before?"
Naruto smiled largely and rubbed the back of his neck in an embarrassed gesture at the praise. "Yeah, I'm pretty cool. Wait, I'm not a wizard, I'm a ninja."
The boy looked at him with a skeptical brow raised. Nauto felt like punching the kid, he hated being looked down on. "Idiot, I just showed you a ninja technique. You're probably a civilian, so you thought it was magic."
The boy scowled at him and said, "I'm not an idiot, this sure looks like magic. So you're a ninja."
"Yup, and you're a wizard," Naruto answered happily before a pensive expression settled on his face. "Um, what does a wizard do, I've never met one before."
"Uh, nothing really, it's just…a silly term." The boy laughed nervously.
"Ehhh?" Naruto groused. "Whatever, don't tell me if you don't want to. I showed you a cool jutsu too. I just wanted to see magic."
"Well if you want to see some, help me look for my wand," the boy snapped.
Naruto grinned and jumped in the air with a punch. "Alright! Everyone look for - err, what's your name? I'm Naruto."
"Harry," said the boy. "Nice to meet you. It's a stick around eleven inches long."
"Nice to meet you too," Naruto said, surprised and happy at the polite introduction. People usually weren't civil around him. "I'll make some more shadow clones. Hey, looks for Harry's wand."
One more seal and one large cloud of chakra later, the desert was covered in Narutos. Harry just gaped at the sight as the boys clad in orange started looking around on the cracked earth.
After a few minutes the clones began dispelling. Naruto shot his new acquaintance a defeated look. "Sorry, Harry, I didn't find it."
"Forget about it, I probably dropped it when the mirror ate me." He sighed and thrust out his hand. "Accio wand!" he shouted and waited, but nothing happened. "It was worth a shot."
"Argh!" Naruto screamed, startling Harry. "What the Hell! Harry look at the sky!" And with that Naruto jumped behind the taller boy, using him as a shield against the monster in the sky.
"Holy…" Harry gasped. "Is that…a smiling sun? It's laughing…Why didn't we hear it laughing?"
"Wah! Why are you so calm, there's a monster in the sky!" Naruto yelled. He was surprised to hear Harry chuckle.
"I'm not really that calm but weird things happen to me all the time. Besides he looks harmless, he's just up there laughing," Harry said as he looked over his shoulder at Naruto.
"You're weird," Naruto protested. "It's going to eat us, look at its teeth."
"Anyway," Harry said. "Looks like someone kidnapped us both and brought us here. In my experience it's best not to stand around gift-wrapped for your enemies. We should get out of here and try to find our way home."
Naruto looked at the boy in amazement. He was talking like some experienced jounin, casually looking at freaky stuff and keeping his cool. Naruto gritted his teeth, he was a ninja, he was the one supposed to be cool like Kakashi-sensei. This nerd with glasses was upstaging him.
"Don't worry, Uzumaki Naruto is here! I will destroy all our enemies!" he yelled jumping out of the other boy's shadow. Just at that moment the maniacal sun gave a louder laugh than usual. Naruto nearly jumped out of his skin in his hurry to get behind Harry.
The boy chuckled. "You were saying?"
"Oi! I don't care what you say, you idiot wizard. That demon sun is out to get us," Naruto complained sheepishly.
"Right, well, I can see something in the distance that might be buildings. Let's head that way," he suggested.
(scene break)
Harry had been trying to maintain his cool in the situation. Despite what he had told Naruto, he was anxious. Not having his wand on him made him feel terribly vulnerable, and Naruto himself worried him. The boy, who seemed to be around his age, was capable of wandless magic, no matter what he called it. To Harry's knowledge there weren't any ninjas, and if there were wizard ninjas he expected he'd have heard of it. Then again, maybe Hermione knew of them and had failed to mention them.
Harry frowned at the reminder of his friend as they trudged in the hot desert. Hermione and Ron weren't writing back to him properly. He had been shunted aside at the Dursley's, totally cut off from the war effort. Wasn't he the one who had told them of Voldemort's return, wasn't he the one who faced the evil bastard?
Before his feelings of being cast aside could distract him, Harry refocused his emotions. He had been transported to some strange place without his wand. He needed to stay in control. The bloody sun laughing every few minutes was beginning to grate on Harry.
He watched Naruto from the corner of his eye, marveling at him keeping his jacket on. It was so hot that Harry had taken off his T-shirt and wrapped it around his head, leaving his body covered in a sweat-soaked under-vest. He didn't know what to think of the boy. He was involved somehow since he had been kidnapped just like him, but he wasn't a wizard of the same flavor as Harry himself. Harry had to wonder how they were connected.
A small part of him worried that he would be in even more trouble for breaking the Statute of Secrecy. "Hey, Naruto…don't mention to anyone I'm a wizard, ok? It's a secret, I'll get in trouble."
The shorter boy shot him a narrow eyed look then grinned. "Don't worry, I'm great at keeping secrets." He shrugged. "Don't know what the big deal is, not like you can do anything cool."
Harry resisted the urge to hit the boy. He was really easy going but sometimes he really was irritating. "Sorry to disappoint," Harry snapped sarcastically. It was a little annoying to find something as incredible as magic being shrugged off. They arrived at a paved road and soon saw a green sign with white lettering on it. "Death City?" Harry read out. "That's not ominous at all."
"Scary, this whole place is scary…didn't the mirror say something about calling death?" Naruto said in clipped tones.
"Yeah, something about knocking on death's door." Harry nodded. "Maybe the trap is in this city instead of out there in the desert."
Naruto punched the air in front of him. "Then we'll just have to sneak in and get them first." He rummaged in the pack he had around his leg and handed Harry two sharp dagger-like objects. "These are kunai, I hope you know how to use them."
Harry hefted the weight but he didn't know the first thing about blades, his experience with the Sword of Gryffindor notwithstanding. "No, but I'm glad to have them. Thanks."
"Don't worry, I'll protect you with my life," Naruto said quietly. Harry was taken aback at the sincerity he heard in the blond's voice. The few hours they had spent together had given him the impression that Naruto liked to brag but had little to back up his words.
"I'd rather you live. Let's just avoid trouble, if we don't draw attention to ourselves, that'll be best. Maybe later you can show me how to use these," Harry said with a smile.
"Ha! And then you can call me Naruto-sensei. I'll make you the best ninja there is!" Naruto jumped in excitement. "But not better than me, because I'm going to be Hokage."
By this point Harry was beginning to get used to Naruto's declarations and more or less ignored him. "Yeah it's a plan. Let's go."
As they neared the city both of them commented on how strange it looked. It looked like it was built around and on a hill. At the very top, even from far they could see a weird building with giant candles sticking out. Finally when they were at the entrance to the city and could see people going about their daily lives, Harry saw the seal. Hanging from a door was a welcome sign and on it was the comical skull.
He stared warily at the citizens but no one seemed to be paying them any mind. He wondered if it was one of them who had used the mirrors to bring them there. But they all looked like average everyday people. No Deatheater robes or masks greeted him, no one seemed to even notice them.
Harry noted that Naruto's hands and back were tensed, as if he was ready to leap into action any moment. The blond's eyes were scanning the crowd just like Harry's own were. Harry felt a burst of confidence in his companion, maybe Naruto really had some skills. "Let's go," Harry said.
Naruto nodded and began to lead. "We should stay in the middle of crowds, harder for people to attack us that way. But if they do, we should move away fast, I don't want to fight where civilians can get hurt," Naruto said.
"Yeah, I agree." Harry breathed a sigh of relief. It seemed Naruto really was reliable.
(Scene break)
An hour later found them in the third ring from the bottom of the hill. They were both hungry, thirsty, and tired. Naruto was surprised to see Harry pulling on along him. Most people his age had less stamina than him, but he hadn't heard Harry complain yet. Naruto wondered if Harry trained or was just used to hardship.
"Walking around aimlessly isn't getting us anywhere," Harry griped, bringing Naruto out of his thoughts.
An old woman at a fruit stall overheard them and called out, "What are you? Stupid? Don't you see all the other kids going one way? Just follow them."
"Going where?" Harry asked.
"The Death Weapon Meister Academy, obviously. You're here for the entrance tests, aren't you? Geez, you freaks show up every few months. Go on, get!" The woman shooed.
"We're not-" Harry didn't get to finish what he was saying because Naruto had wrapped his hand around his mouth.
"Sorry, grandma, he's just a little slow. Thanks for the help!" Naruto waved and dragged Harry away.
"What was that for?" Harry snapped when they were a few feet away.
"That was our way to sneak in. I was curious about all the kids our age hanging around too. If we get into this academy, then everyone will think we're just students," Naruto explained with a grin.
Harry sighed, choosing not to ask if Naruto even knew what a Death Weapons Meister Academy was for. After all, they needed to find answers somewhere. A school might just be the place. Also, they would have public facilities and they could at least get water there.
"Hee, hee, my first solo mission," Naruto giggled beside him.
"It's not solo if I'm with you, Naruto."
"Shut up!"
(chapter break)