Bucky carried Kayla kicking and screaming up the stairs to the second floor apartment, then deposited her on the ground in front of an old wooden door. She tried to dart but he just held her with his metal hand while he knocked lightly with is right one. The door swung open and Bucky was greeted coldly by a man on the other side.
"Привет. У тебя есть то, что ты обещал?" The man asked in Russian, leaning around and smiling when he saw Kayla, "Так прекрасно. Я не могу дождаться, чтобы погубить ее."
The man reached out and grabbed Kayla's wrist, pulling her in as she began to whimper and stare at Bucky with wide, terrified eyes. The soldier clamped his right hand onto the man's, glaring at him before growling, "Если ты повредишь ей волосы на голове, ты умрешь."
Bucky released the man and Kayla looked up at him in terror, "What did you say?"
"I told him if he hurts you, he dies." Bucky said gruffly, turning to leave.
"Wait! Where are you going?" Kayla cried out, already too far into the apartment to escape.
Bucky didn't look back as he said loudly, "I need food. He'll feed you. I'll be back in a while."
"Wait, no!" Kayla screamed as the door slammed closed, but Bucky continued on, trotting back down the stairs into the city.
The air was cool, but smoke lingered through the city as protesters screamed at military forces trying to keep them back. Bucky wandered through the market, keeping his head low as he found a stand selling fruit. He reached into his pocket, knowing he had no money, but he pulled out the silver chain he'd taken from the woman's neck. He looked at the dog tags, reading the name over and over and over again, thinking maybe something would spark in his memory.
He vaguely remembered falling, and the man's voice calling Bucky. He remembered the man's pensive expression, and he thought he remembered this Steve person's laugh, but he couldn't be quite sure.
"I'll give you a pack of plums for the chain." The woman offered, bringing Bucky back from his thoughts. He looked at the food, then the chain and shook his head slowly.
"No, thank you." He answered softly, putting the chain back in his jeans pocket and walking away. He moved closer to the protesters and noticed the salespeople watched them in alarm. Bucky took the distraction to reach into a cart and grab a loaf of bread, skillfully placing it into his jacket as he continued walking, keeping an eye out for anyone else who wasn't paying attention. He swiped a wheel of cheese to go with his bread, then turned and found himself inches away from a metal fence.
It was a church. Bucky hadn't seen the inside of one in a long time. The Winter Soldier had slain people at the pulpit, but Bucky Barnes, if that was really his name, hadn't stepped foot in a church since he... he didn't even know. What he did know, was that the church was quiet, and he could sit and eat in peace.
He unwrapped the cheese and took a bite of it, then ripped of a chunk of bread and devoured it. Bucky leaned against the crumbling walls of the church, looking up at the collapsing roof at the stars above. The sound of yelling eased him, made him feel invisible as he ate. He continued to eat the bread and cheese until it was gone, taking whatever sustenance he could find. Then he remembered her.
Bucky knew the deal he made was dirty, and that it was wrong, and that if this Steve person really was his friend once, he wouldn't be when he found out what Bucky had done to his girl. He imaged she was splayed across his colleague's bed, being fucked into submission until he'd had his fill. Bucky had threatened the man not to hurt her, but he knew better than to trust a man so vile, even Hydra didn't want him. An ally from his time in Russia who Hydra thought they couldn't control, so they paid him well to shut up and get out. He couldn't go back to Russia. Neither of them could, so he settled in Sokovia. Novi Grad was quiet for the most part, at least it had been before the protests started.
The Winter Soldier closed his eyes, trying to imagine that beautiful woman with the man from the bridge. With Steve. Captain America. The exhibit had said they were best friends since childhood. The exhibit had said Bucky Barnes had died, but the face he looked upon was his own. He was the man the glass display spoke about, and he was Captain America's best friend. He had also sold the President's Daughter for a couch to sleep on, and even the Winter Soldier felt sick about that. He quickly pushed himself to his feet and started back into the market.
As he walked, he made eye contact with a lean man who had a monocle held up by his eye. Bucky couldn't quite place the man, but he knew that he knew him, so he continued moving faster back to the apartment. He moved up the stairs faster than he had before, cursing himself for feeling guilt over what he'd done. When he reached the door, he paused, listened, and realized there was no sound coming from the other side. No screams, no cries, no moans of pain or pleasure, just silence.
Bucky grabbed the doorknob and ripped open the door, popping the padlock right off. When he walked in, he saw Kayla sitting on the couch with the tv playing. She turned to him, pulling the spoon from her mouth as her green eyes scanned him with unrestrained surprise, "I thought you'd be gone longer?"
"Where is Maksim?" Bucky asked quickly, looking around and realizing Kayla was alone. She narrowed her eyes and dug the spoon back into the tub of ice cream she was eating, not answering. Bucky looked around nervously, unsure what was happening, "Where did he go?"
She shrugged, "You told me to go to Hell. I took him with, and left him there. This is really good by the way, I'm surprised, I kinda thought the food would be shit." Kayla mumbled through her ice cream and Bucky grabbed a kitchen chair and wedged it under the doorknob to keep the door closed now that he'd broken the lock. Kayla watched him panic with mild amusement until she finally chuckled and gave in, "He's in the bathroom."
Bucky nodded, sighing as he realized that was a perfectly reasonable explanation, except he knew Maksim's intentions. Bucky began to wonder if Maksim had drugged her, as calm and cheerful as she was acting. "Okay. Are you alright?"
Kayla stiffened at that, and, as he got closer, Bucky realized there was a bruise forming on her neck. She swallowed the ice cream, looking down into the creamy white for a moment before answering, "Yeah. Steve always used to tell me that it got easier."
"What got easier?"
"Why don't you go check on your friend. He's been in there a while." Kayla said slowly, nervously, as she plunged her spoon into her ice cream and swallowed another chunk. Bucky crossed the small apartment and threw open the first door, finding the bedroom, so he turned and flung open the door across the hall and paused. The counter was smeared with blood, and the gash in Maksim's skull showed him exactly where Kayla pelted his head against the corner. The man's pants were around his ankles, but his belt was tied around his neck so tightly that he probably died by strangling after she knocked him out.
Bucky backed away and turned to Kayla, who kept her eyes locked on him, but her spoon placed in her mouth like she was a child. Bucky raised his brow, and it was the most emotion she'd seen from him since their unfortunate meeting on the helicarrier. "How the hell did you manage that?"
"You don't date Captain America for over a year and not learn self defense. I waited until he was lulled into a false sense of security. He had me down to my bra and underwear, and when he bent down to pull off his pants, I bashed his head in and tied his belt around his neck to choke him." She explained casually, but Bucky noticed the way her hand was shaking. She was terrified.
"You murdered somebody." Bucky said simply, and Kayla chewed on the spoon as she stared at Bucky, but her gaze almost saw right through him. It was blank, and unfeeling. Traumatized. "Why didn't you run?"
"My dad is dead. I'm thousands of miles away from home and nobody is ever going to find me. I don't even know if my mom or Steve are alive. If I run, you'll find me." She finally turned to meet Bucky's eyes, "What do I have to lose?"
"Your life."
"Then end it, and put me out of my misery. The only thing I have going for me is this ice cream." Kayla spat as Bucky surged forward, but she didn't shrink when he got closer, she shrugged instead, "You wanted a place to stay, now you have one. You can clean up the bathroom and I'll consider not murdering you, too."
"You couldn't if you tried." Bucky laughed and Kayla's emotions flickered so fiercely between anger and surprise that he laughed some more, "You should have seen what I did to your precious Steve."
"I did." Kayla said softly and Bucky slammed his mouth shut, turning his head away. Kayla stood from the couch and set the ice cream on the ground, "Why did you really take me?"
"I don't know who I am, but I don't want to be the Winter Soldier anymore." He admitted. The woman leaned against the back of the couch, far too casual for somebody who just committed murder, but Bucky realized that she was numb. So was he.
The idea of feeling something together crossed his mind, but the image of Maksim's bloody corpse and Steve's face flooded his mind in quick succession, so he shook away the feeling for now. "I don't want to be alone."
"You said if I helped you, you'd let me go."
"That was before you caused the scene in Washington." Bucky snorted, looking out the window as the sound of screaming got closer. "There's no letting you go now, you're across the world. It's either me," he nodded towards window, "or them."
Kayla followed his gaze to the protesters below and she sighed, rolling her eyes so far back that the emerald color almost disappeared, "I'm here now. What do you want to know?"
"Why don't I know who I am?" Bucky moved to the kitchen and opened the fridge, pulling three beers. He noticed how nervous Kayla looked, she thought they were all for him and he'd have his drunken way with her, but he surprised her by handing her one of the bottles.
She twisted the cap, discarding it on the floor before taking a swig, sighing as she pulled it from her lips, "I don't know. Steve said you fell from the train. He said that a Swiss scientist named Zola experimented on you, and he thinks that's how you survived the fall. I can't fill in the rest, I don't know. All I know is that you were working for Hydra, and you didn't remember him."
"I don't want to work for anyone anymore."
"Then don't." Kayla answered as he leaned against the back of the couch with her. He looked down at the blonde, seeing her tense, but she didn't move away from him, instead she clinked her bottle against his and took another long sip, "Look, I'm having a really shitty day. I know you're fucked up in the head, but I need a little time. Can you at least give me that? I've lost everything. My life, my family, the man who was going to be my husband, that's all gone because of you." Kayla lowered her head, staring at the dirty carpet, "I almost wish you'd kill me, so I don't have to think about everything I've lost. Keeping me alive is more cruel than doing what you were trained to do."
"I need help. I need your help. You are all I've got, and you actually know some of the answers. Not all of them, but more than anybody else." Bucky argued, pushing away from the couch and turning around to face Kayla, but give her space, "Do you know when I was born?"
"I guess 1918? 17? You're around Steve's age, I know you were born before 1920." Kayla guess and Bucky half smiled, "What?"
"See, that's more than anyone else could give me. Please."
"You realize you kidnapped me, right? This is your fault? I had to kill someone to avoid being raped, because of you." Kayla smashed her empty bottle against the floor and Bucky stared at it for a moment, then looked back to the woman without saying a word. She groaned loudly, "Damn it! What do you want from me? Why did you come back early? You could have stayed out half the night and let your friend have his way with me, but you were barely gone an hour."
"I was worried about you." Bucky admitted, clenching his metal hand and feeling the plates move, "I was worried he'd hurt you, and then you wouldn't help me."
"I would have happily helped you from my home in America! Steve would have helped you, you don't need me!"
"You're..." Bucky clamped his mouth shut, turning to go into the kitchen and grab a broom from it's place on the wall. Kayla watched as he swept up the broken glass into a nice little pile, then scooped it up and dumped it into the garbage. "I saved you. I panicked, I didn't know what to do, so I took you with me. I was scared you were gonna die."
"Could have taken me to a hospital. Or anywhere, really, a nice park bench. Not a war-torn, European country whose American Embassy burned down last month." Kayla muttered, looking over her shoulder and seeing her ice cream was gone, "I want more ice cream."
"Okay."
"Okay?" She snorted and he stared blankly at her, "That's it?"
"Yeah. I can get you more ice cream. Will you help me sort through my memories?" Bucky asked.
Kayla looked deeper into the apartment. She'd looked into every possible escape route, but she was more or less trapped with the exception of the front door. If she left, she didn't know what would happen to her. At least with Bucky she knew she was safe from the outside world, even if he was terrifying. He was trying, "Yeah, I guess."
Three Weeks Later
Steve paced the upper level of Tony's lab in Avengers Tower, gripping his mouth roughly as Stark typed feverishly on his holographic tablet.
"Cap, you're making me nauseous, calm down. Take a shower. Shave." Stark finally called when he couldn't take the soldier's stomping anymore. Steve stopped and looked up to Stark. There were bags beneath the red rim of his blue eyes, and his face almost looked gaunt without its color. Steve hadn't been eating, he hadn't been sleeping, and even his super soldier body was struggling to make up for his neglect.
He ran his hand over his growing stubble, no, it could be called a beard now. It had been almost a month since Steve had shaved, and he looked as disheveled as he felt. His teammates were lucky he took time out of his searching to shower, but even that was after a lot of pushing. "I can't calm down. She's out there somewhere, with him."
"He's very good at hiding." Natasha mumbled from her place at a physical computer. She'd called in several favors from Kiev, gotten Steve all the information she could find on the Winter Soldier. She'd taken several trips overseas with Sam to follow leads, but nothing panned out. The only reason Steve wasn't breaking down every door across the globe was because Bruce had warned him not to push himself too hard. Since Steve wasn't taking care of himself, he wasn't healing, and Doctor Banner told Steve if he wanted to leave the tower, he needed to take a break. Tony had locked him in, disabled his credentials to use the quinjet and put a tracking device in Steve's wallet so when he tried to sneak away to LaGuardia they were able to cut him off.
Steve slammed his hand down on the wooden table and the legs cracked under the force. Natasha pulled her gaze away from the computer and jumped to her feet, wrapping her arms around Steve in a hug that he begrudgingly returned, "Steve, you need to rest. You're doing everything you can. We all are."
"She's out there, I have to find her."
"You don't know that Steve. She could already be gone." Natasha warned, but Steve just shook his head with so much vigor his whole body moved against Natasha.
"No. She's alive, and I'm going to find her." He insisted and Natasha turned to Tony for help. Tony just shook his head and raised his hands, telling the assassin he had nothing more to say about the matter.
Nat sighed and nodded, releasing Steve to pull away, "Well, I'm going to make lunch. If you want anymore of my help, I suggest you join me."
Steve looked to Tony, who wiped the screens away and gestured toward Nat, "Romanoff is right, you're looking for a needle in a haystack. What we really need to focus on is flushing Hydra out of the cracks. Your buddy is a Hydra puppet, if we go after Hydra, we'll find Ellis."
"I can't get her out of my head. I could have saved her, and I didn't-"
"It's in the past, Rogers. We have to get to work. We've spent enough time looking for Kayla and Barnes. I'm sorry, but we need you to focus. We need you." Natasha kept her gaze locked on Steve, not moving until she got the answer she was looking for. Tony looked between the soldier and the spy, wondering who would break first. He wasn't surprised when it was Cap.
He nodded lightly, running his tongue over his teeth under his lips, "You're right. We have to put Hydra to rest for good. I'm not giving up on her though, I have to fix this."
"We know. And we'll help you, but first we have to find Loki's scepter." Steve looked to Stark, who shared a quick glance with Natasha, then continued, "After Thor got the scepter back from his brother, he left it with SHIELD to keep locked away."
"Wherever it was sent is Hydra, not SHIELD." Natasha finished, placing her hand on her waist. "We have to find it."
Steve inhaled slowly, processing the information he'd been given, "Alright, where are we going first?"
"Hong Kong." Natasha said simply and Steve looked to Stark, who didn't add anything else.
"We'll leave at sixteen-hundred hours. Gather the team." Steve ordered, pulling out his phone to gaze at the photo of Kayla and him at her father's birthday party last year. Kayla had set it as his lock screen and he'd kept it, because he loved the way her honey blonde curls looked and her red painted smile. Natasha had teased him that his smile looked goofy, that she'd never seen him look so giddy, but that's how he felt with Kayla. He should have never let her go. Beneath his button down, plaid shirt, he wore the engagement ring. He didn't necessarily think she'd want it now, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let it go. He got it for her, whether she wanted him or not.
He looked up and saw Natasha and Tony still watching him as he reminisced, "You're dismissed?"
"You gonna shower?" Nat asked bluntly and Steve rolled his eyes, causing her to smile, "You look like a hobo. Clean yourself up, Captain America."
Steve chuckled, and Natasha pretended to fall over, "Yes, ma'am."
Nat smiled as she finally left the room with Tony right behind her. Steve waited a moment so they'd get in the elevator together, then called his own elevator to go to his private floor.
JARVIS's voice asked where he wanted to go, and Steve responded, "My suite, please."
"Of course, Captain Rogers."
The doors opened to Steve's floor, and he gazed out the floor to ceiling windows overlooking New York. He was happy to be back in the tower. He'd hoped he could bring Kayla back here once he found her. He'd asked for a mattress like the one they'd had in Washington, where her side could be soft and his side could be firm. He'd installed a vanity near the eastern corner of the bedroom, so Kayla could do her makeup in the natural light. Steve barely had any clothes, and he didn't bring much of anything from D.C., but he made sure to grab all of Kayla's belongings once he was allowed back into their apartment. The closet was full of her outfits, and Steve wouldn't admit it, but he'd often sit on the floor and smell her dresses, missing her perfume and the soft feeling of her skin beneath the fabric.
Steve had bought Kayla's favorite shower gel and stocked an entire cabinet with bubble bath and bath bombs to spoil her rotten when he got her back. Everything he could think of, every indulgence she favored, he had it ready. He'd kept the bottle of Dom Perignon from their double date with Sam and Tiffany. His fridge was stocked with her favorite ice cream. The third iteration of it- for every week he didn't find Kayla, he devoured it and sobbed.
He should have never let her go.
"Captain Rogers, you have a phone call."
Steve looked up curiously, drawing his brows, "At the Tower?"
"Yes, sir, it's First Lady Ellis."
"Patch her through, JARVIS." Steve told the AI as he took a seat at his desk, liking when JARVIS forwarded his occasional professional calls to the phone instead of having voices echoing around his home. "Hello, ma'am. How are you doing?"
A long sigh came from the other line, and Steve bit his tongue, knowing Sandra would have something sappy to say about his formal greeting, "Just another day where my husband is gone, my daughter is missing, and my country is in shambles. But aside from that, I'm doing well. How are you, Steve?"
He considered lying, but it wouldn't make her feel any better. "I haven't been sleeping. Or eating really. I'm still searching, I swear on my life, I'll find her-"
"Steve, it's okay. It's been almost a month." Sandra's voice was strained, but Steve could tell she was trying to sound brave, "Tiffany and I have been talking, and... we think it's time to let her go."
The man raised his clenched fist to his lips as he felt his whole body shudder, "I'm not ready to give up."
"Its just not healthy holding out hope for the impossible. She was kidnapped by an assassin, he almost killed seven people just leaving the museum building, Steve, do you really think she's still alive?"
"He's my friend, I can get through to him, I just have to find him."
"And what if she's already dead, then what will you do?" Sandra asked and Steve clenched his eyes closed, trying not to imagine Bucky killing Kay. Sandra sighed, "I just buried my husband, I don't want my daughter to be dead, but she's gone, Steve. Tiffany and I were hoping you'd come over and go through her things, see if there was anything you wanted. I know you took what she had in your apartment together."
"No. I'm not going to accept that she's gone. I'm going to find her." Steve swore, but Sandra ignored his claims, trying to get him to understand he was the only one still looking for her.
"Tiffany has the notebook. The one belonging to the scientist, she said you should have it. It has Kayla's notes in it, you'll know what to do with it."
"We are going to destroy Hydra, if Buck went back to them, we'll find him. I'll find her."
"Steve." He slammed his mouth shut when he heard Tiffany's voice cut through the receiver, "I know you feel responsible for what happened, but a lot of people took missteps. Kayla shouldn't have gone to the Triskellion, she should have never left you in the first place. You had a higher purpose on that ship, it wasn't to save her."
"I should have saved her first. I should have saved her before anyone else." Steve growled, slamming his fist onto his glass table and shattering through it. Not a sound came from the other side of the phone line, and Steve cursed under his breath as he carefully pulled pieces of glass from his hand. "I'm sorry."
"I'll send the book with Sam next time he comes up to see you. If there's anything else we think you'll want, we'll set it aside." Tiffany finally murmured, and Steve hated how shaky his breath was. He was sure they'd heard it. "Take care of yourself, Steve. It's what she would have wanted for you."
The call ended and Steve doubled over, sobbing as he placed his face in his hand. He couldn't just stop looking for Kay, she was out there somewhere, and he wouldn't stop until he had made amends. He'd prove them wrong. She'd come back from the dead, and they would patch things up and he'd marry her if it was the last thing he did.
Steve walked away from the broken desk and addressed the AI, "JARVIS, order me a new desk, will you?"
"Yes, Captain Rogers."
He locked himself in the bathroom and looked at his growing beard and shaggy hair. Turning on the shower, Steve decided not to clean up his appearance. He wasn't that clean cut Captain America he'd been a month ago. Now, he was a man on a mission, and he wanted everyone to know that he'd slaughter his way through a thousand men to get his girl back. Even his best friend.