Usagi

"I'm tellin' ya, boss, it was some kinda monster," the now one-armed bandit explained to his leader as another bandit bandaged his bleeding stump. "It did... something to Koji, and he turned into some sorta zombie."

"And did either of those monsters rip off your arm?" the red-haired woman asked impassively. Ah yes, she would do nicely. Her body was compatible enough with my power that I wouldn't have to worry about replacing it for a while and she appeared to be an awful human being, so I wouldn't have any guilt from ending her life. Despite her looks she was probably not an Uzumaki, so I had no reason to worry about that, either. I was currently in the process of extending a light telepathic touch into all the minds present, sorting through their memories to find a way to possess her, as well as stealing what procedural memories of theirs that I found useful.

He shook his head, a fearful look in his eye. Perhaps I was a bit too harsh on him... "No, Koji bit me. I ran, and..." He shuddered. "My arm... it went numb, and the same weird markings that appeared where the... thing... touched Koji started to appear on my arm. I... I didn't risk it."

"Wise," the bandit leader said. He smiled weakly at her.

An then buried one of her knives in his gut. "Don't take any risks," she murmured into his ear as he breathed his last. That poor, sweet fool. Well, not sweet. If there was any word that could describe her less, I had yet to find it from my delving into her or her subordinates' minds. My point, though, is that a zombie is much harder to kill than a normal man. The red markings sprouted from his good arm, and with inhuman speed the freshly-made monster sank its new claws into the man who was bandaging it just moments ago. The woman snarled as the markings spread across both zombies. She managed to decapitate the original, but my second zombie evaded her blade and shambled toward another bandit, which it bit.

Long story short, I let a few of the bandits survive but my small-scale zombie apocalypse led to the deaths of most of the scofflaws.

The leader of what was now considerably fewer bandits slammed her fist on the wall in rage as she surveyed the corpses left behind. "Damn," she growled as they dissolved into red dust. "At least they won't be coming back..."

"You do care, boss!" one of the survivors cheered.

"I don't care one bit about you idiots and if I hadn't just lost most of my men I'd have killed you for that moronic comment," she said coldly. She meant it, too. "We need to recruit, and that means we need more money. Secure the base, we can't leave anyone on guard." If I had a mouth, I'd have smiled. I needed the practice, after all. Their hideout was an abandoned mine, secluded and buried in a mountain. Not to mention the gold stored within, even if I would want to give some back to the villages they were stealing from. And they were leaving it for me. How thoughtful.

kukukuku~

"Are you sure you want to do that?" Neji asked me.

I shrugged and licked my lips. "Not gonna get any better at fighting by going easy," I said.

"Yeah, but you pretty much need your powers to take me down if I activate Furnace." Neji's pseudo-jinchuriki power. We started calling it Furnace because with how unique it was it pretty much deserved a unique name. Technically, his red chakra reserves were abysmal. However, we found out that whenever he exerted himself he could activate it to essentially let himself generate more, though he'd only keep it for so long when not exerting himself.

End result, his power steadily grew the longer he fought. He also gained power each time he hit or was hit. It had a few limitations and placed strain on his body the more he used it, but as far as I knew he could theoretically fight a biju if he built up enough, maybe even Kaguya. That'd probably kill him at the moment, though. And from what it seemed, it was hard for him to use it for more than just brute force. Though that might just have been from how he could only keep it active for small intervals at a time before it started eating away at his health prevented him from training his control over it much...

"And how else am I supposed to change that?" I asked. I got into my stance. "Let's do this before I change my mind."

His eyes turned red, with a white slit pupil because of his Byakugan. "Your funeral..."

A few moments later...

"Owwwww," I groaned. "My... pride..."

"I didn't even get warmed up at all," Neji smugly remarked from where he was sitting on my spine, pinning me. I didn't ask him to get up because I was sucking off the last dregs of his red chakra. For whatever reason I couldn't assimilate Furnace, but I could still steal Neji's red chakra to heal myself and stuff.

"You okay, dude?" I asked.

"As I said, I barely got warmed up. My body is fine." After he activated Furnace for the first time, he'd ended up bedridden for an hour because of the strain it put on his body. When he started to test it, he pretended he was fine even though he kept using it past his limits. He ended up too sick to stand for weeks. It was actually around that time that he managed to figure out natural energy manipulation, probably because he was stuck in bed and bored out of his mind for so long. "I probably should let myself cool down for a bit, but I'm assuming you'll want to fight me without Furnace anyways."

I snorted. "Jerk. And here I was worried about you."

He got up. He had an amused smile. "Let's go another round, then."

kukukuku~

"I'm sore," I complained as we walked through the halls.

"You hit me a few times," Neji dismissed.

"You hit me more..."

"And whose fault was that?" I rolled my eyes and lightly punched him on the shoulder. He sage-flicked me. I was about to retort, but I felt a familiar signature when I opened up my senses, so...

"Is that Ino?" I asked, jerking my head in the direction of the compound's main entrance. I knew this was going to happen for a while. I'd been keeping tabs on her in a totally not creepy way because if it. I was also keeping tabs on Sakura, but that was more to see what the effects of that strange power were on her body. She accidentally ripped a door off its hinges more than once, which would've been pretty hilarious if it weren't for the angst it was giving her...

"That feels like her. I wonder why she's here." He used his Byakugan for a moment. I pulled out a compact mirror I'd made to be compatible with my scrying jutsu and looked at her as well. "Does she have a flower?" She was walking up to the door with a flower in her hand, yes.

I sighed. "I'm not good with flowers, but I'm pretty sure that's a forget-me-not. Pretty sure she's here for me, I'll go deal with her."

Neji insisted on hiding in the background while I greeted Ino, because she wasn't exactly subtle about her childish crush. I really hoped I wouldn't lose her as a friend, though... Just in case, I used my power to try to find the best path forward. I really hoped my life wouldn't become some sort of anti-dating simulator...

I opened the door. "Ino. Why are you here and holding a flower that symbolizes true love?" I'd learned some hanakotoba from her and some other sources, but to be honest I just knew it from looking ahead in the script.

She smiled and held it out to me. "I came to confess my true love to you, Kouki."

I took a deep breath, trying very, very hard not to sigh. "Ino, no offense, I love you like a friend, but we are both four years old and you have no idea what true love is."

That confused her. "But... you saved me?"

Why do romance stories have to be so romanticized?

Don't... don't answer that...

"I'm your friend. Of course I saved you. But I don't love you like that and you don't love me like that because as I just said, we're both children."

She lowered the flower. This was a little harsh, but she needed to hear it. "Oh. Yeah. I guess I look stupid to you now, huh?"

I shrugged. "To be fair, you have a level of wisdom appropriate to our age. It just so happens that being wise as a four-year-old is an outlier."

"What?"

I poked her in the forehead. "You're a kid. You're allowed to be stupid, as long as you're not being too big of a jerk."

She thought about that for a moment. "So... you're not mad at me or anything?"

"You're my friend. Of course not." I smiled. It probably wasn't the best smile, but at least Ino didn't run in terror... "Hey, if you want, I can show you a really cool jutsu."

She nodded. "Sure!" As I walked past, I gave Neji a smug grin when I saw his jaw on the floor. I'm sure he was expecting some kind of awkwardness.

To be fair, so was I.

kukukuku~

Chikage

Sarutobi Hiruzen sighed as he returned to his room after a long day of paperwork. Even with a shadow clone, it was just so slow. Seriously, I was so bored, and I was just watching over his shoulder! I can't even imagine having to do paperwork... He closed the door, locking it. "You're here, aren't you, Kouki?" Half right. Eh, I'll give it to him.

His shadow moved to be in front of him. "How perceptive of you," my voice seemed to come from the shadow. I couldn't exactly speak when my body was literally flat against the wall, but I could very much trick people's brains into thinking I could. My arm peeled off of the floor, keeping its pitch coloration. I raised my other arm, then used them to "pull" myself off of the floor, still in the form of a shadowy Hokage. I did a few stretches. "Man, staying in one shadow for hours kills my back, apparently. I don't even know how that works, considering the fact that I don't even have a form as a shadow..." I changed back to my humanoid form and licked my lips.

"I know that Kouki is responsible in some way, but what are you?" he asked me.

"Rude," I said, faux-offended. "You don't hear me asking you humans what you are. Though to be fair I already know."

He frowned. "You're like Kouki, but not quite. Who are you, then?"

"Did I really never tell you about me?" I paused and thought for a moment. "Or would it be better to ask if we never told you about me... I'm still not sure how pronouns work with our unique situation..."

"What, exactly, is the answer to my question?"

I shrugged. "I'm Kouki and Kouki is me. We're two halves of the same whole, at the moment."

"What are you..." He frowned and closed his eyes. "Red chakra?" he said when he opened them.

I nodded. "I've been purified of almost all of my humanity, the same as how Kouki's removed most of the red chakra from her- himself for the moment. He's weaker, I'm stronger, and because we're two separate entities we have independent thoughts and can be in two places at once, as you can tell. Sorta like a weird shadow clone, I guess. And we can recombine at any time." I sat down in midair. "Call me Chikage."

"I suppose that that makes sense... That sounds like a useful jutsu. Though why are you a girl?"

I examined my clawlike black nails. "Why not?"

"And I suppose that's also why you're wearing a frilly dress?"

"It's called gothic lolita, and the best thing about being made of chakra is the fact that I can more or less freely shapeshift. Now, sit down." I gestured behind him, where I'd pulled up a chair without him noticing. I also made an illusion that made both his chair and the air I was sitting on look like identical, ornate seats. "We have business to attend to."

"The Uchiha massacre, I assume?" I nodded. A table with a deck of fancy-looking cards "appeared" in between us. I really love genjutsu.

"In one year today Itachi will be forced to kill his entire clan, with the exception of his brother." I picked up the top card from the deck and flipped it over. The Tower. "And obviously we would prefer this not to happen." I reversed the position of the Tower. "But of course, there is a problem." I flipped over the next card, Judgement.

He sighed. It seemed he got my message. "The public is being turned turned against the Uchiha, which is in turn turning the Uchiha against the public. Until we stop that all we can do is delay the massacre..." I revealed the third card, The Devil, with Danzo as its subject. "Yes. Even though we haven't tipped our hands yet and he hopefully doesn't suspect us, Danzo is still fighting us."

"There are two paths that you can take to deal with him." I reversed the position of the Devil, causing the illustration's face to soften. "First, you could make him see the light, show him how much he's tearing the village apart to 'protect' it. Maybe you can do it because you used to be friends or something, but to be honest I doubt it, which leaves the second option." A black flame sparked from my finger, setting the Devil card ablaze. It disappeared without a trace. "Either way, he needs to be neutralized. I take it he's good at covering his tracks, considering the fact that he's made an attempt on your life without retaliation?"

He nodded solemnly. "Of course. And I take it he'd use it as evidence of my 'senility' if I attempted to pin him on it without enough evidence?"

"My eyes don't show it, meaning there's no possibility of us attempting it. Probably, though." I cocked my head. "If I were to, I don't know, figure out a way to take other objects with me when I shadow travel and use that to steal all kinds of incriminating evidence, would that work?"

He nodded. "That would work. I'll proceed assuming you don't, with how that was a hypothetical, though."

I sighed. "Yeah, that's about right. If we fail, though, I have one last idea." I revealed The Hanged Man, reversed, with Uchiha Shisui modeling for mister four-legs. "If we stop Danzo's attack on Shisui, then he can use Kotoamatsukami on the Uchiha. It's not ideal, but hopefully it'll work."

"Yes, that sounds good. Unless there's anything else, you may leave."

I faded into the shadows, taking my illusions with me.

kukukuku~

Usagi

"Alright everyone!" one of the bandits shouted, waving a weapon. "You know the drill by now, your money is ours! Give it up easily and we won't kill you!" The townspeople were afraid, but they'd clearly been through this before.

"Will you really?" I asked, walking into the village. "You may find some trouble with that."

"Who are you?" the leader asked me.

"You would already know," I said as I strolled across the road to her, "had you not murdered my puppet."

"Ah, so you're the monster he talked about." She sneered at me and drew her daggers. "You killed my men."

"I did nothing of the sort," I retaliated. "I mutated them, controlled them. You were the ones who killed them."

"All the same, you'll die."

"To be honest I am not entirely sure I can die." I slowly removed my gloves from my hands and placed them in the bag under my cloak.

"I'll test it for you, then."

"You may be able to destroy this body, but my essence has already soaked your hideout. I believe I should be able to resurrect myself there, as it were."

The woman smiled a sadistic smile. "I'm fine killing you over and over again until it sticks." She lunged at me, daggers flashing. I yanked back my sleeve and used my bare arm to block. I wasn't going to be needing my arm much longer, but I wanted to preserve the cloak. Her daggers sank into the stone of my arm, as I had made it softer. I wanted the knives as well. I capitalized on the bandit leader's momentary confusion to take off my mask and jam it onto her face. The last thing she saw before her life ended was a glowing red pearl on the backside of the mask.

I retrieved my new knives from my old arm, then took my cloak for my new body. Luckily, my new body wasn't too much larger than my old one, so the cloak still fit well enough. Along with the cloak, I'd palmed the other blood pearl (the extra-compressed pearl-shaped demon gems I was using for my Usagi persona) from my old body, causing it to crumble back into dirt within moments of me putting the cloak back on. I took my bag from the dirt and shook it off.

"Boss?" one of the bandits asked. "You okay?"

I slowly reached up to my mask and grasped the bottom. It cracked at the mouth such that the entire bottom was smoothly removed. I stored the bottom back in my bag, though, just in case I should come to need it. With my new mouth and the bottom of my nose uncovered, I took a deep breath, as if my first in a century. "No, I do not believe she is," I said. "For one, her mind and soul have been wiped from this body."

"What the hell even are you!?" one of the bandits asked.

"To be perfectly honest I'm not quite sure. I do know one thing, though." With an organic body, I no longer had problems with agility. And in particular, this new body was trained for rapid movement. As such, the two bandits nearest me were bisected in a flash with red-glowing knives, as if a hot knife through butter. Their bodies dissolved into the same red dust that the other bandits' corpses had. "You are dead. Now, are the rest of you willing to fight, or will you run in terror?" They ran in terror. Wise.

"Who are you?" a villager cautiously asked me a few minutes after I sheathed my knives. The villagers were understandably quite afraid of me.

"My name is Usagi." With the bandits gone, I'd switched to a small, personable smile. "If you wait, I should be able to bring you the money those bandits took from you."

The villager bowed to me. "Thank you so much."