Chapter 11

Song:

Unsteady, X Ambassadors

Fiddling was had. Words were added. All mistakes are mine.

My final client of the night walks toward the lobby, and I turn back to my station. While everyone does their thing—spraying, wiping, cleaning their own shit—I hum along to the music pumping through the speakers, collecting everything that needs to be sterilized.

The bell on the studio door finally chimes, signaling the guy's departure, and I can hear Maggie and Bella chatting and giggling up front. Their laughter brings a smile to my face.

It's been a little more than a week since Bella started working here, and since then, the two of them have been practically inseparable. Maggie seems to be filling the role of big sister or even a mom for Bella. With a positive female influence around, every day I'm seeing more and more of the woman Bella was always meant to be peeking out of her shell.

I gather up the parts and head to the sterilization room. It's a procedure I could probably do in my sleep; walking down the line from sink to bagging station to actually placing them in the autoclave.

Liam steps up beside me as I stack my last batch of bags for the day on the inner shelf of the autoclave. "You bringing Bella to the expo next month? I asked her about it, but she acted like had no idea what I was talking about."

"Damn it," I murmur before looking over my shoulder. "It completely slipped my mind to mention it to her."

"You probably should. It's only a few weeks away."

"Do you have an extra ticket?"

"I'm pretty sure I can get one, but I need to know if she wants to go before I go to the trouble."

I nod as I remove my gloves, closing the door of the sterilizing machine and spinning the handle to lock it. "I'll talk to her. I'm not sure she's ready for such a big crowd of people, though."

He raises a brow. "Kid, I haven't known her for very long, but I can already guess she's not the kind of girl who wants anyone making any decisions for her."

I grin. "No, she's not."

We return to the studio floor, Liam to finish wiping down his station and me with mop in hand. It's a task I've gotten faster at doing, and it takes me no time at all to wipe down the studio floor with the disinfecting rinse.

I return to the supply room to dump the mop bucket, and when I walk back to the floor, the guys are sitting around shooting the shit. Vlad is kicked back in his chair and Stefan is resting on his elbows as he leans over his station, filling Liam in on their plans for the weekend.

"You should come with us," Vlad says, pointing at me as I walk back into the room.

"Come with you where?"

"Stefan and I are hitting up Bar Sinister this Friday. It's always a good time," he says, waggling his brows.

I scowl in his direction. "Yeah, that's not really my scene."

He tsks and shakes his head. "You don't know what you're missing, man."

When the low music that's been playing stops abruptly and the overhead lights dim, I turn to look toward the lobby.

Walking toward us is a smiling Maggie carrying a small decorated cake with—if I had to guess—twenty-three candles lit on top. Bella, looking timid and unsure, is right behind her, and even though both of them start singing, I can't take my eyes off her.

"Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, dear Masen.
Happy birthday to you!"

Maggie holds out the cake toward me and smiles. "Make a wish."

With my gaze still locked on Bella's smiling face, it doesn't take me any time to decide what my wish is. I close my eyes and blow, hoping for the first time since I was ten years old that my birthday wish comes true.

Vlad hops out of his chair and slaps his hands. "All right, Miss Maggie. Bring on the cake."

He, along with Liam and Stefan, follow her to the front, where I assume she'll cut the cake and dish it up to my coworkers. As the rest of the crew disappear through the doorway, Bella reaches out and tugs on my hand.

"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"

I shrug, not sure why it's never come up. "It's not a big deal."

She takes a step closer to me and lowers her voice. Her big brown eyes meet mine and she licks her lips. "What if I wanted to make it a big deal out of it?"

The urge to grab her by her waist and pull her closer is so strong. But instead, I settle for running my fingers along her forearms, feeling the rise of gooseflesh in their wake. "You would've made a big deal out of it?"

Her gaze falls to my chest and it's her turn to shrug. "Maybe."

I grin, enjoying this side of her. "What would you have done if you had known?"

Her eyes snap to meet mine, her chin jutting up in just a little bit of defiance. "Maybe I would have bought you a present."

"Bella," I say softly, "at the risk of sounding like a pussy, being part of your life is all the present I need, okay?"

She nods but still doesn't look sure.

"I mean it." I pull on her hand and tilt my head toward the lobby. "Come on. We should grab some cake before the guys eat it all."

I take a step toward the doorway, but Bella pulls me back.

"Wait." She steps within inches of me and rises on her tiptoes. And when she kisses my cheek this time, her lips brush the corner of my mouth. "Happy birthday, Edward," she whispers before wrapping her arms around my waist and pressing the side of her head against my chest.

Shocked, I wrap my arms around her, holding her close and closing my eyes, committing the moment to memory.

Footsteps coming from the other room cause me to look that way. I'm met with a smiling Maggie, understanding written all over her face.

She mouths, "Come get some when you're ready," and disappears back through the doorway.

Trouble is, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to let Bella go.

"And there's your baby," the ultrasound tech says, pointing out the grainy, squirming image on the screen.

"Wow," Bella breathes, her hand holding so fucking tightly to mine.

I can't make much of the wiggling form on the small screen other than the profile. But goddamn, what a sight it is. Its tiny fist is at its mouth, and I wonder if the baby's already sucking its thumb.

"Edward?" Bella's voice knocks me from my trance, and I clear my throat.

I lean over and kiss the top of her head. "I know."

The tech passes the ultrasound wand over Bella's stomach, her eyes never leaving the screen. "My guess is you've already felt this wiggle worm moving."

Bella's regretful eyes meet mine. "I have."

Last week, a few days after my birthday, Bella was lying in bed, just about to fall asleep when she gasped. It almost gave me a fucking heart attack, but when she flipped on the light and called me over, placing my hand on her bump, I understood what had happened. She apologized, but I knew from the books I'd read it could be a while before someone else could feel the baby moving.

Every time since that night, she calls me over, placing my hands all over her stomach, just waiting for the little bean to make its move. And every time, she's disappointed when nothing happens.

The tech must catch our exchange, and she speaks directly to me. "Don't worry, Dad. It'll happen soon."

"Oh, I'm not—"

"We're not worried," Bella quickly interjects, her face turned toward the tech. Her cheeks blaze red, but her gaze never meets mine.

"Good," the tech continues. "It'll happen. And soon, if I was to guess. You're twenty-two weeks and a few days, so I doubt Dad will have much longer to wait."

While she pauses to click buttons on the keyboard, taking measurements, I let my mind drift to being called Dad, and the way it made me feel. Absolute fucking joy expands in my chest, and it just feels ... right. Like it's how it's supposed to be. But I'm also left wondering why the fuck Bella didn't correct her. Is it possible she senses how right it feels? Or maybe she's just not in the mood to explain anything to anyone. I can't fault her for not wanting anyone to know our business, but it leaves me with a thousand questions.

The tech smiles as she turns to us. "It looks like your little one is in the right position today, so we should be able to get a good look if you want to know the sex."

I squeeze Bella's hand, reminding her I'm in full support of whatever she wants to do. But she still looks to me and asks, "Do we?"

The fact that she's choosing to include me in such a big decision makes my insides feel all warm and fuzzy. Again, I squeeze her hand. "You said you wanted to know, right? Has anything changed?"

"No, nothing's changed. I still want to know." She bites at her lower lip then releases it, turning to the tech. "Yeah, we want to know."

The tech points to the small screen. "What do you see?"

I cock my head to the side, trying to decide if a change in angle helps me see it more clearly, but ... I got nothin'.

"I don't see anything," Bella says, her head at a similar angle.

"That's because there's nothing to see. Looks like you'll be welcoming a little girl in another four months or so."

"A girl?" Bella whispers before turning to me with a beaming smile on her face, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "It's a girl! I told you it was a girl."

I grin and blink away my own tears. "You did." I lean in to kiss the top of her head. "And she's going to be every bit as amazing as her mother."

After Bella sees her doctor and has confirmation that she and the baby are growing right on schedule, we schedule her next appointment and walk to the truck. Bella's a chatterbox during the drive to the shop, and only gets more animated when she shows off the small black and white printout of her ultrasound to Maggie.

Feeling too keyed up to go home, Bella decides to hang around the shop, completely content to spend her day here, chatting with Maggie and snagging a few overtime hours. But as the day drags on, Bella's enthusiasm dims. She's polite to clients and quietly tidies up behind us around the shop, but she seems to be working through shit in her head.

At the front desk, I catch her staring off into space. "Hey. You okay?"

Her head snaps up and her gaze meets mine. "What?"

"You've been quiet all afternoon." I walk up beside her and give her a gentle hip check. "What's up?"

"Just thinking."

"About?"

She looks up at me with a wistful smile. "Stuff."

"Wanna talk about it?"

She inhales deeply and blows it out slowly. "Not yet, okay?"

"Yeah, okay." I lean over and kiss the top of her head. "Whenever you're ready, you know I'm here," I tell her before returning to the back of the shop.

A few hours later, we get slammed with a group of slightly-buzzed women who want to get inked. They're in town for some kind of book club meeting and all want an apple tatt on their ankles. Liam and Vlad are busy with their own clients, so it's up to Stefan and me to ink the half-dozen girls.

By the time they're all done, bandaged, and sent to the desk to pay, nearly three hours have passed. It takes me another thirty minutes to get my station ready for the next client, and when I walk to the front to check the appointment book, only Maggie is there.

"Where's Bella?"

Her brows furrow. "It's Wednesday, Masen. She has her support group meeting tonight."

I rub a hand over my face. "Shit. I forgot. Why didn't she come get me to drive her?"

"She saw how busy you were and said you'd be okay with her taking your truck."

"My truck? I don't give a fuck that she took my truck. I just don't like the thought of her going down there by herself."

Maggie smiles. "She'll be okay. It stays light later, and she asked me to remind you she has her cell phone."

I nod but don't say anything. Maggie's right; there's no reason to worry.

Bella will be fine.

The shop has been closed for a while, and I stand at the door, watching and waiting for Bella to get back. With every passing minute, I get more and more antsy.

"Did you try calling her again?" Liam asks from behind me.

"Yeah," I reply, my voice rough. "But if she's driving, she won't pick up."

"Then she's probably on her way back and got caught in traffic."

I nod, my eyes not leaving the street. Another ten agonizing minutes pass before I see the headlights of my truck grow brighter as she approaches. I take what feels like the first real breath I've taken in hours as I watch her attempt to parallel park just a few spots down.

Liam places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. "See? She's fine."

"Yeah." I step toward the door, anxious to lay my eyes on her. "See ya tomorrow, man."

"See ya, kid."

My pace is a little faster than usual, and I reach the truck the moment she finally gets it straight in the spot. When I tap on the window, Bella startles, her surprised, weary face meeting mine. She presses the button to unlock the door.

"Do you think you could drive home?" she asks as I climb into the cab.

"Yeah. Of course. You feeling okay?"

She shrugs, looking down at her fidgeting fingers. "I'm not sure." She looks my way, and the expression on her face—her shining eyes and her quivering chin—slices through me.

"Oh, beautiful. Come here." I open my arms and she scrambles into them, her shoulders shaking in silent sobs. "What happened?"

She sniffs and presses her face into my chest, effectively wiping tears and probably snot on my shirt. She takes a shuddering breath, and I hold her just a little tighter.

"Did something happen at group tonight?"

She turns her head, resting her cheek on my chest. "I just have a lot on my mind."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not yet," she says softly, pulling away and wiping her nose. Her gaze drops to my damp t-shirt. "Sorry."

"It's fine." I reach for her cheek, brushing my thumb under her eye and wiping away a tear. "You sure you're okay?"

She gives me an unconvincing smile. "I will be."

"Yeah," I whisper, my thumb still gently brushing her cheek, "you will."

We swap seats and I drive toward home. She's quiet the whole way, and once we're in our room, she doesn't say a word as she gathers her pajamas and disappears into the bathroom. She's in there longer than usual, but when I hear the spigot running, and the echo of the water filling the tub, I realize she just needs some time to herself to work out whatever shit she's dealing with.

Scrubbing a hand over my face, I huff in frustration. I wish she'd fucking talk to me. Being shut out makes me tense and on edge, and I don't like it.

The TV's volume is low, and when there's a break in the sound between commercials, Bella's soft sobs fill the brief silence.

My feet can't move fast enough.

I splay my hand over the cool, hollow steel door, wishing I could touch her, see her with my own eyes. "Bella? You okay?"

The sound of water splashing tells me she's moving fast. "Sorry. I'll be out in a minute."

"No, I don't need the bathroom. I need to know if you're all right."

"I'm ..."

The silence that follows is almost painful. Canned laughter of some god-awful sitcom rings from the TV, but I can still hear her sniffs and quiet sobs over the noise. The impulse to bust down the door and scoop her into my arms flows through me. But instead of charging into the room, inserting myself into her space, I press my forehead to the door and squeeze my eyes closed.

"Talk to me, Bella ... please."

Moments tick by, and just when I think I'll have to press her for more, she answers in a weak voice .

"I'm scared."

I take a slow, even breath, knowing if I push too hard too fast, she'll completely shut down. I'm painfully aware of the need to tread lightly, so my next words are spoken softly, slowly. "What are you scared of?"

"I'm scared I'm going to lose her."

"Lose her?"

More silence. I turn, pressing my back against the door and sliding down until my ass hits the floor. I tilt my head back, staring up at the water-stained ceiling. "I won't let that happen, Bella. I've already told you I'm here for both of you. I'll do everything in my power to keep you both safe."

"But ..."

"But what? You've gotta talk to me. What happened tonight that has you so upset?"

She sniffs, and heavy drips echo off the walls of the bathroom. I can almost envision her curled into a ball, resting her head on her bent knees in the tub. "Erin pulled me aside again tonight."

"What did she say?"

"She asked me if I'd thought any more about how I was going to protect my daughter from him."

"And what did you tell her?" I rasp, the thought of Riley getting his hands on Bella's defenseless baby girl making me nauseated.

"I didn't tell her anything," she says softly.

"Bella, we—"

"I know she's right, too, you know?" she says in a rush. "There's nothing I can do to keep him away from her. I don't doubt Charlie is doing whatever he can to find me. He's got friends all over. It's probably how he knew I was in L.A."

"We don't know it was—"

"And when she's born," she continues, completely ignoring me, "it probably won't take long for him to find out." Her words come faster and grow louder. "And Charlie will tell him, and he'll try to take her from me. He can't have her, Edward. I can't let that happen."

The desperation in her voice puts a lump in my throat, but I swallow past it. "Then we'll do what we have to do so it doesn't."

"How?" she cries. "How do we stop it? I know Riley. Once he finds out about Zoe, he won't stop until he gets at least visitation with her. He'll make my life hell just for the sake of hurting me. I can't let him get to her, Edward. And I'll do anything to keep her safe."

The determination in her voice makes me smile. "I know you will, beautiful."

The thunk of the drain lever is followed by splashes as she, presumably, stands from the tub. To make sure I'm not caught sitting at the door like a fucking creeper, I stand and pull myself away, going back to sit on my bed.

It's nearly ten minutes later when she emerges. She's dressed in her sleep shorts and an oversized t-shirt with her hair pulled back. Even with the obvious signs she's been bawling—her red-rimmed eyes and pinked nose—she looks fucking beautiful.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

I sit up and my brow furrows in confusion. "For what?"

She trudges toward me, sitting beside me on the edge of the bed and placing her head on my shoulder. "I feel like I've dragged you on an emotional roller coaster today." She looks up at me. "Thanks for putting up with me."

"You don't have to thank me for that." I place a hand on her bump, which seems to have grown since just this morning, and smile. "I'm willingly along for the ride."

"It just started out as such a good day. I'm sorry I had to ruin it."

"You didn't ruin anything." I wrap my arm around her shoulders and rest my head on hers. "You have valid worries, Bella. And I'd rather we talk about all this stuff now and figure it out before she gets here."

"I guess you're right."

I smile against the top of her head. "So, Zoe, huh?"

"Yeah," she says quietly. "I saw it in a book last week. It means life, and she's ... she's my life now." She looks up at me. "Is that stupid?"

"Not even a little." I think about how much she and her unborn daughter have come to mean to me in such a short period of time, and the name she's chosen seems fitting in so many ways. Little Zoe and her mother have become such an important part of my life already. "I think it's ... perfect."

And as if the moment didn't feel perfect enough, the little lady in question nudges against my palm that's still pressed against Bella's belly.

My eyes widen and I pull away to stare at Bella's stomach. "Oh, shit!" I look up at her. "Did you feel that?"

She smiles genuinely for the first time since this morning. "I did."

"Oh my god, that was fucking awesome." I'm absolutely awestruck, and I couldn't wipe the smile off my face if I tried.

"It's pretty amazing, isn't it?"

My gaze meets hers. "So amazing."

The look in her eyes morphs before me, and some of the same sadness she's had all evening returns. "I can't let him take her from me," she whispers.

"Then we'll do everything in our power to make sure that doesn't happen, okay?"

She nods, her head returns to my shoulder, and this time, she curls into my side. "Thank you for sharing all this with me. I ..." Her voice lowers. "I'm so glad to have you in my life."

I lift the hand splayed out over her stomach and gently cup her cheek, searching her eyes. There's so much I want to say, so many things I want to confess to her, but I know it's too soon. So, for now I give her a soft smile. "Me, too, beautiful. Me too."

A/N: Are some of you still feeling like it's moving too slow? Those inches they've been making are going to start looking like miles soon. ;) I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter.

My break last week was refreshing and it recharged my batteries. It was nice to get away from the crazy for a few days ... and my kids. Lol. But now I'm back at it and back to weekly posting. I'm struggling to outline the final chapters of this one, so I still don't have a guess about how long it'll be. But I hope to have a clearer picture soon.

The TwiFic Fandom Award winners were announced last week, and Clutch placed first in the Empire Records category, as well as third for Potential Best Seller! I placed in the Potential Best-Selling Author, Fandom 411, and Fic Pimp categories as well! Thank you all so much for your continued support. Xoxo

And don't forget, the best way to stay up to date with what I'm up to is to check out my FB group. I share exclusive teasers and teaser pics every Monday. I'm most active on FB, but I'm also on Twitter at CSunshine1220.

Be kind.
Stay safe.
Stay well.

Lots of love,
~Sunshine