Warning: reader injury and blood.

It's been a month. A month of waiting and agonizing. Of being worried to death. Jiraiya hardly left your room. He didn't want to. He didn't want you to wake up alone. It's the least he can do! You were in the hospital because of him. Guilt ate at his conscience. He failed to protect you and you got injured. That thought won't leave his mind.

It was so fast he wasn't sure what happened. You were suddenly off your feet and flying back. You landed head first into a boulder. Your head was split open and blood was everywhere. It killed Jiraiya that he couldn't get to you. He was locked in battle and couldn't step back to help you. He got a few unnecessary injuries because he was so distracted. He kept looking back to you, it gave the enemy the opportunity to get a good hit on him. But he didn't care. Your body limp on the ground and your blood staining everything around you. Seeing you there like that filled him with dread. The second he won the battle, he booked it to your side.

You've been in a coma ever since. It has been the most taxing experience of Jiraiya's life. You won't wake up no matter what he tried. He carried you to the hospital, stopping often to check on you. But you hung like a rag doll on his back. Limp and weak. Your breathing shallow against his ear. The sick feeling of your warm blood soaking his shoulder petrified him. He's terrified of what's going to happen to you. A head injury like that is no small thing.

Will you wake up? No one is telling him a definitive answer. They don't look hopeful when they offer sympathetic smiles. Jiraiya spent his days at your bedside. He milked his injuries to stay in care for as long as he could so he didn't have to leave. People kinda let it happen, they know him well enough to know he'd just break into your room after visiting hours anyways. He watched you for any sort of movement at all hours. He loves you too much to give up. He won't ever give up! He won't lose hope or leave you alone in this place! That hope grew tenfold when he held your hand and when he squeezed it, you squeezed back. It was little. A small little squeeze. But it was a reaction god damn it and he'll rock with it.

That reaction got him so excited. You'll wake up! You had to. He held your hand all the time. He stroked your hair, squeezed your hand, and spoke quietly to you. But you didn't react further. It feels bad. What was the last thing you said to him? He can't even remember. It felt like decades ago. It's only been thirty days and he missed you so much. Your banter. Your smile. The way you laugh. How you look at him while laying in bed. Your eyes sparkle and the cute blush on your cheeks... sigh. He looked your face. Your eyes closed and expression neutral like you were in a very deep sleep. It's just not the same. It's not like when he wakes up next to you and you're still asleep.

Sleep... he could use some.

Jiraiya acquired an odd sleeping pattern since this whole thing happened. He woke up sporadically throughout the night. He slept in the uncomfortable chair beside your bed. Often times it just felt like his brain switched back on and he would startle awake to check on things.

Are you okay? His brain immediately asked. He looked around frantically while his eyes adjusted to the low lighting.

Yes... yes you're fine. Just comatose. He would stay awake for a few hours, just making sure you're okay before falling back asleep. During these times he fixes your pillow and blanket. He combs your hair and kissed your cheek. But nothing ever changes in your neutral face. Jiraiya rests his head on the stiff feeling mattress of the hospital bed. Why do these things suck? It's like sleeping on lumpy cardboard. He tucked his arm under his cheek to pillow it a little. It's barely better, but he does drift off. His hand never leaving your hand. He just had to hold it. That bit of physical presence put him at ease enough to take a nap.

Hours later, he began to come to. It's not so startled and frantic. Something grounds him to be calm. A simple thing he's used to waking up to. Gentle fingers are running through his hair. Pushing the strands back away from his face. It's familiar and comforting. Like he's waking up in bed at home. Jiraiya flexed his hand, only yours wasn't in his. He sat up quickly and opened his eyes. Relief filled him.

"You're awake!" He sighed out his stress. "I was beginning to think you wouldn't."

You smile. It's polite and lacks something he can't quite place. You look him over slowly. You lick your dry lips.

"Who... who are you?" You ask quietly.

All his relief was replaced with dread. He stared at you dumbfounded for several seconds. You tilt your head in confusion.

"You're just joking right?" Jiraiya asked as he stood up. He rubbed his tired eyes and a headache was beginning to form behind them. "You have to be joking!"

"I... I'm sorry uh..." You shake your head. You watch him in a daze. Your head hurt too. "I don't know you?..."

"Yes you do!" He snapped impatiently. He's waited for so long and this is what he gets? How could this happen? This felt cruel. Like some sort of vengeful god was pointing at him and laughing at his misfortune. He grabbed your hand and waved it in front of you. He pointed to the band around your ring finger. "I'm your husband! We've been together for years!"

Never before has he been so frustrated. How can you not remember!? Tears began to well in your eyes as you stare at him. You don't like seeing this man upset. You shake your head.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry I don't remember you!" You tear your hand away from him and cover your eyes to cry. "I don't remember anything!"

It's a terrible feeling. Every time you look at that man, you feel something. It's hard to know what. It's almost recognition. But you can't quite piece it together. It's like it's stuck on the tip of your tongue, but your memory blanks at the last minute. But you look at him and feel smitten. He's handsome. He's passionate. And he must love you a lot. He's distraught about the whole thing.

"I won't give up on you!" Jiraiya promised. He clutched onto your hand and looked you in the eyes with a fierce determination. "We'll get all your memories back!"

When you felt comfortable on your feet, Jiraiya took you away. He held your hand tightly as he escorted you around town. He spoke to you quietly about certain locations. He would pull you close and keep his voice low. You would listen intently. You feel so comfortable in his presence. You trust him. His voice is nice to listen to. The way he smiles as he recalls certain memories was so wistful and lovely. A light blush would take his cheeks when he spoke of more intimate things. He's great company to have. You may not have any recollection of this person, but you feel like he's someone you always have known. You feel at peace and comfortable when he talks to you. You find you like to rest your head on his arm and listen to his every word.

He stopped in front of a school first. It's an old looking building. With floods of children filing out for the day. You continue to look over the details of the building, trying to drag up any memory. He took you around back where there was small posts with targets painted on them. They are well used with nicks and dents from throwing weapons. There's even a few needles still stuck in the wood.

"You and I met you here." Jiraiya explained. He gestured to the dusty little plot of land.

"How?" You ask.

"Well..." He began to laugh.

Jiraiya began to tell the tale of you and him as children. As he explains, you can visualize the memory with details he didn't mention. The image of a lanky six year old in front of you. His white hair messy and sticking out in every direction. His dark eyes sparkling with mockery and ignorant superiority. His arms crossed and his chin raised in defiance. He had on a white kimono with red and green details... he wore it for years. His smirk filled you with rage. You were mad at him. You yelled and launched yourself at him. You tackled him to the ground and got a good punch in on his face before he could retaliate. Where it turned into a fistfight surrounded by your peers cheering at the prospect of a good rumble. Oh goodness! You got into a full blown fight with this man when you and him were children!

"Why was I mad at you?" You ask him with a small smile.

"I told you that girls can't fight... So you beat the crap out of me." Jiraiya smiles fondly as he remembered it so clearly.

He sported quite the shiner on his eye for like a week after that. He wore it proudly. Because you proved him wrong. He never tattled on you either. He sat in the office for hours trying to convince the head teacher that he hit himself in the face with the swing out front. Which was an excuse that didn't go well, but he just smiled widely at the unimpressed adults around him like the innocent angel he totally was. Because honestly, he really liked you and didn't want to get you in trouble.

Even as a kid, Jiraiya knew you were someone special. Your friendship was so precious to him and he held onto you ever since the day you gave him a good whack to the face. It beat some sense into him. Through thick and thin, you were the person he went to with his problems. Any woman willing to deck him in the face to prove a point was a woman of wonders. You give it to him straight. It's one of the many reasons he loves you.

Your smile grows. You squeeze Jiraiya's hand and ask him to take you somewhere else. He nodded. He led you around the happy looking village. With people who offered you smiles as you passed them. He took you to a training ground. It was a clear grassy field with a river running through it. There was three worn looking wooden posts stuck in the ground in the middle of it. To your surprise, he stopped under one of the trees that lined the perimeter. It has little scuffs and nicks from weapons. It even has an old scar on it from what looks like fire. He led you around the tree and he pointed out some crude looking carvings along the trunk. As kids you and him sat around the tree after he had a terrible day with his team. You did what you could to cheer him up in your own way. You taught him how to carve out shapes. The best he could do was his name and yours carved in the middle of a crude sharp cornered heart. He used to chase you around the trunk in circles. Then later up and around in the branches like squirrels with the aid of chakra. You'd burst into giggles with him when he caught you.

He tended to come to this tree whenever he was upset when he was a teenager. You would find him and join him. For a long time it was simply just enjoying each other's company. You'd listen to his problems and he'd listen to yours. He so fondly remembers just sitting with you with your head on his shoulder for hours. The warm days of simply relaxing with the girl he's in love with. The tingles in his scalp when you play with his hair. The jitters that went up his arm when his fingers brushed against yours. When you looked at him his breath was stolen. He knew he was head over heels for you, but he just needed that moment. Then one day...

"We had our first kiss here." He explained while nervously rubbing the back of his neck. He looked over the area with a fond smile. It had so many good memories. But this one was one of his favourites.

To your surprise, Jiraiya picked you up by your waist and set you in between the fork of a set of low hanging branches in the tree. He closed you in by bracing his hands on the branches above you and he stepped on a knot on the trunk to use as a stepping stone. It lifted him up slightly and his face was tilted up towards yours. Your heart pounded as his lips were a fraction from yours.

"It went something like this." He whispered before closing the distance.

It was a gentle kiss. Almost shy and unsure. It was his first kiss ever, same with you. His lips are soft and a little wet. It's pleasant. His lips feel right against yours. When he pulls back, you swear he looks different. Younger. The markings on his face smaller, only to the beginning of his cheekbones rather than a few inches longer like they currently are. You can see him in one of those grey uniforms that you've seen others wear. Along with the imprinted metal forehead protector that every ninja wears. It clinked with yours when you flinched forward with the intent to kiss him again but you missed. It just felt so good! And right! Gosh it just made you all red! Jiraiya kissed you! He blushed and gave you that funny looking lopsided grin.

"Did you like that? Or do I have to do that again?" He asked in confidence.

Jiraiya repeated the exact same words in the present. Only quieter, more intimate. His face near yours as he looks you in the eyes. They're searching for any sort of familiarity. You caress and hold his face. He relaxes and holds your cheek before going back in. You press your lips against his again. It felt good. It was familiar.

"I like kissing you, Jiraiya." You said softly. You trace the shape of his lips as you spoke. "I think we do this a lot."

Jiraiya nodded slowly. He'll accept that as you remembering something. The way you're looking at him wasn't so blank anymore. He picked you up and took you to a new spot. It's best to keep the ball rolling. He lead the way to the top of the building. From it, you could see the whole village. The streets were busy. There was lots of activity. But it had an air of calm peacefulness. Like there was nothing to worry about if you lived here.

"Do you know where we are?" Jiraiya asked you.

He was standing beside you, facing the streets as well. His eyes followed certain people with a smile. You look around. But it's not ringing any bells. You shake your head slowly.

"We're on top of the Hokage's estate." He explained. He squeezed your hand. The smile on his face turned wistful again. "About four years ago, we had a date here. It was dusk..."

Jiraiya needed some comfort. He was upset... upset about something. He was asked to do something important, but he refused. More or less, he impromptu asked you to meet him there with the strongest alcohol you could find. His number one cure all was you and some saké. He cracked it open the moment you showed up and you stood beside him passing the bottle back and forth. The sound of his finger tapping on the bottle was clear in your mind. His expression was firm and restrained to be neutral, but he was upset. You knew that, you can read him so well. You mostly stood in silence with him watching the sun crest over the Hokage Monument. You rested your head on his shoulder and linked your arm with his. The comforting presence was enough for him. You were more than enough for him. He suddenly smiled and chuckled about something. The moment couldn't be more perfect.

"I have something I want to ask you." He started off softly.

A jolt of excitement hit your chest. You gave him your undivided attention. This question was a long time coming and you knew it. You bounce on your feet and can't contain your excitement. He was blushing all the way to the tips of his ears. He let out a deep breath of air to steady his nerves before opening his mouth to speak again.

"Will you-!" Jiraiya couldn't even finish the question as you tackled him into a hug.

"Yes!" You shouted because you couldn't contain how excited you were.

"Whoa! You could have at least let me say it!"

The memory makes you smile. You were too excited that day to let him finish. He was dropping hints about his intentions for months! You couldn't wait! But now... You squeeze Jiraiya's hand to get his attention. He looked at you curiously.

"You could do it again... I'll let you say it this time." You joke a little.

Jiraiya laughed. He grabbed your left hand. How strange. He gets a second opportunity to propose to his wife. At the same place. He can do it how he always wanted. Not that he ever regretted how he asked, but he always wished he was a better romantic. He seized the moment when he did ask. This seems just as nice. Maybe better. He slowly lowered himself to one knee. You can't look away from his eyes. His shine with a love so captivating that it's impossible to take your gaze off of them.

"Will you marry me?" He asked.

"Of course I will!" You answer with a smile.

Jiraiya stood back up and wrapped his arms around you. His head rested against yours. He feels better. Your memory is coming back. It's working! It feels so good that you aren't so lost anymore. It feels like he's holding his wife again. Not someone who doesn't remember him. You aren't tense and uncomfortable with the unfamiliarity of him. Because he is familiar.

"You remember?" He asked quietly.

"Yes... I remember that. Can we keep going?" You ask. You play with his hair. The action felt like second nature. Stoking the long bangs that rest on the side of his head. Curling a section around your finger as you speak to him. Tucking them out of the way behind his ears to show off the rest of that pretty face. It feels natural to do these things. "Show me more."

"As you wish!" He was more excited now.

You follow with more enthusiasm as Jiraiya led the way to a new spot. It was lost in a far corner of the village where a training ground once was. It was overtaken by nature. A large old tree that was surrounded by flowers and bushes. With wide branches that spread out over into it's neighbouring trees. A little path was barely spotted in the dirt that lead to the tree. It was cozy. It was beautiful. A comfortable nook of greenery. The area smelt sweet from the wild flowers that were blooming. Jiraiya smiles and grabs both your hands. You face him as the canopy of the tree covered you and him from the sun. The branches had little purple flower buds that had not yet bloomed. Spots of the light broke through the leaves to speckle his face in light. It felt so familiar...

"What did we do here?" You ask in a quiet voice.

Jiraiya moved his hands up to your cheeks. He held your face and smiled. "Last year... after I got back from..." he hesitates. His expression falls for a moment before picking back up the the gentle smile he had on. "Fighting. It was summer." He explained quietly. "We met here after three years of being apart."

Oh yes! That's right. You and him ran around Konoha looking for each other. After three years of being apart the need to be together was so intense. You'd miss him just by that much. Literally by a fraction you'd walk by, he'd be around the corner going in the opposite direction. It was almost felt deliberate the way fate kept you apart from your fiancé. You were crestfallen when you couldn't find him after going through the whole village. You blindly wandered into this abandoned corner of the village, feeling drawn to the isolated and peaceful atmosphere. You stared at this old tree, admiring the blossoms. You reached for the blooming lilacs, there was something so beautiful about the little flowers that always drew you in. They were pretty and smelt great. The sight of them always put you at ease.

Then it all fell into place. There was a crash and a thud. You turned around and Jiraiya was there. He was frazzled and frantic looking. With messy hair and dirty clothing. He didn't stop until he found you. The moment he left for Konoha, he never stopped. He ran for days just to see you quicker. After a moment of bewildered eye contact, he ran to you at full speed and hugged you tightly. Ever since then, you've been inseparable from him.

You shut your eyes and you can feel it. Not just that moment of being in his arms again but something else entirely. Something just as joyful, warm, and loving. The sweet sent of lilac filled your nose. The petite pale purple blossoms were in full bloom. They decorate the tree in their soft colour. They framed Jiraiya's head as he was standing under the branches. The bright sun shining on his face in speckles as the flowers cut most of it out. He's smiling, but some anxiety was under his calm facade. He was nervous, but played it off so cool as to not freak you out. Or that's what he told himself.

He was in the dark garb of a groom. The flowing fabric of a haori hakama set suited him. It was so different from what he usually wore. It made his most attractive features stick out, which is all of him. With the little bit of colour being his red markings. It was very pretty. His hair was half up and half down. With a lazy loose braid holding his bangs out of his face and the rest freely falling down his back. The relaxed hair style was rather cute on him. He even put some flowers in his hair at your request. There were shallow cuts on his hand... because he fashioned a flower crown out of the lilacs. It was falling apart throughout the whole ceremony, but he was so proud of it he wore it all day.

Man... it was hard to breath in all those layers. The many layers of a bride's kimono was not suited for a summer wedding. Half the time you were worried you would pass out from heat stroke. If the nerves didn't make you faint first. The most secure thing on you was your hair. Your own crown of lilacs weaves into your locks and that shit wasn't going anywhere. But you had your fiancé to hold onto. Your hands almost white knuckled and sweaty as they held onto his. He squeezed them occasionally as if to remind you he was there. He'll always be there.

"I do." You whispered.

"I do too." Jiraiya said just as quietly.

Did others have to hear? All that mattered was that you heard it and Jiraiya heard it. The world had never felt so small. But in a good way. No one else existed in that moment. Just you and your husband to be. The peace and beauty of a gorgeous small summer wedding surrounded you and him.

"I pronounce you man and wife!" A proud older man announced. He beamed as he finished the vows. He was very proud of his students. Hiruzen... his name is Hiruzen. He's Jiraiya's teacher. He's someone important to you and your husband. He's helped you almost as much as he helped Jiraiya. He patted Jiraiya's arm and gestured to you with a motion of his hand. "You may kiss the bride."

Jiraiya laughed before grabbing you and dipping you almost to the ground. He kissed you passionately while holding you firmly against him. You had your hands holding onto the back of his neck for a firm grip. The small crowd of invited guests began to whoop. It grew in volume and hype when you wrapped a leg around his waist and his hand grabbed your butt. He broke the kiss with a smile and he brought you back up.

"Now let's get to the party!" You remember Tsunade yelled in full enthusiasm. She was probably half cut already.

The sound of your friends and family cheering in agreement was still ringing in your ears. Heh those clowns. Always down for a party. The whole night was a blur after that. The mix of nerves and alcohol made it a slurry of a memory. But you remember having fun. The waking up in the late afternoon with your clothing disheveled and limbs tangled with Jiraiya's. Twigs and lilac blossoms sticking out of his bedhead. Where you then spent the day doing absolutely nothing with him, hungover and happy. You picked the flowers out of his hair while he couldn't look away from you. He's smiling happily while you take care of him. He held you against him in a tight hug and kissed you. He rolled over and his hand ran down your arm before reaching to hold your hand. He squeezed and held your hand as he occupied your mouth with his. The feeling of your new wedding band being squished between his fingers just stood out in your mind.

You trace the wedding band on Jiraiya's finger. It was worn from getting into battles. Scuffed and dull with wear. He always got so bummed out about it when he noticed it had more damage. There's a deep groove in the band from when he deflected a blade. And scratches that wore it down flat on the front of his hand were he gripped the ground to get traction after being knocked back. But it held together.

It's not like yours was any better. You had scuffs and scratches on your wedding band just like he does. It's barely a year old but it was a true testimony to your vows. You promised to fight by his side and you keep that promise. It was that promise that got you into this position. But... it was either take that hit for him or watch him suffer with a worse injury. The battle was coming back to you. You pushed him out of the way and he didn't even know. He won't ever know. Jiraiya will only get upset and angry if he knew you did that for him. He always said the worst torture was seeing you hurt. But seeing him injured was just as torturous for you. This whole thing was hard on him as well as you.

But it's okay now! You have your memories coming back to you. You intertwine your fingers with his, the matching rings side by side. A little damaged, but never broken. You have your life back. You have your husband back. Unsure what to do, a small laugh comes out your throat. The tears follow. It's not like it's sad. But you just felt overwhelmed.

"Whoa now! It's okay!" Jiraiya instantly went to comfort you. He kissed your cheek, catching a tear with his lips. "Don't cry! This wasn't meant to make you cry." He covered your cheek in kisses and hushed you with his words. "Please don't cry."

"No! No sorry." You wipe your eyes and hold him. "These are happy tears!" You laugh as he kisses along your jaw and neck. It tickled a little and felt so good. "I remember so much! We got married here!"

"Yes! Yes we did! Almost a year ago!" He was emotional as well. Laughing the same happy but sad laugh that you were laughing. He just wanted to drown you in affection. It felt like he was newly in love with you again. Where every kiss and touch was exciting. His wet kisses banishing your tear tracks into imprints of his lips.

"I love you!" You can't control your weeping. You gently hold his cheek and guide his face up to kiss him. You kept uttering the words between each kiss to his lips. It felt like one kiss from him brought back the memory of a thousand previous ones.

"I love you too! Fuck I thought I lost you!" Jiraiya's voice hitched to a higher note as he lost his composure. His eyes clenched shut as he felt the wave of emotion.

He was so scared. He didn't know what he would do if he lost you. The empty lost husk of his wife. It's too hard to even think about. The short time you held no recollection of him was horrible enough. A life time of that would destroy him. He's known you all his life, it would feel weird without you in it. It would be like you died but worse. Like having a part of himself broken off and missing. He'd be forced to watch you struggle to find your identity and failing to do so. The pain and frustration of it all would be truly one of the worst things he would ever had to deal with. His best friend and wife gone forever... He couldn't stand it.

But you remember! He sniffles and clung onto you. You were squeezed into his embrace. His hand held the back of your head, holding a fistful of your hair as he pressed your head against his shoulder. You're his wife you've seen him cry before, but he hated having you see it. You listen and feel his heavy breathing as he tried to get ahold of himself. You don't enjoy hearing it. He's upset because of your memory loss. It would have been horrible to not remember such precious things you've shared with him. Some things are still a little fuzzy. But whatever fuzzy memory comes to life, he's always in it. He was always there. He was just... Jiraiya.

Jiraiya, that stuck up kid in the playground. Jiraiya, your best friend. Jiraiya, your dorky boyfriend. Jiraiya, your even dorkier husband. He loves you. He protects you. He knows how to make you laugh. He held you when you cried. He kissed you to make you feel better. The way he smiles right after breaking away was such a pure and instant reaction. It never failed to make you smile. He's just... you know... Jiraiya! Jiraiya, the one and only man you love.

You kiss up the side of his jaw. You hush him with your lips by his ear before speaking again. "It's okay! You can't get rid of me that easily." You joke lightly and ended it with another kiss to his cheek.

A weak chuckle was his response. "Yeah that much I know. Seriously, babe!" Jiraiya stood up straight and hid his tears with a wide smile. "You're obsessed with me!"

"I'm addicted to you, honey!" You cheer with your arms in the air. You hug onto his neck and pull yourself up to kiss him again.

You felt Jiraiya smile against your lips before he returned to kissing you. He backed you up until your back hit the tree. His tongue ran along your lips, begging to breach past them. When you open your mouth your tongue is eager to greet his. He doesn't stop until you're breathless.

"Let's celebrate!" Jiraiya cheered. He snuck his hands under your pants and grabbed your butt. "Do you remember how I am in bed?"

You smirk. Jiraiya is the only man you've had and there's no way you could forget. But it won't be fun if you just tell him that. You know the perverted games he loves to play. You make a face as if you were in deep thought. You hum as you tap your chin as you searched for an answer. You gasp with a realization and smile at him cheekily.

"I think I need a refresher! I'm having trouble remembering." You say with a suggestive smile and a flirty wiggle of your eyebrows.

Oh ho! That's his girl. You giggle as Jiraiya sinks down to the ground and pins you underneath him. Why not a rump at the place he married you? Seems like a good way to give back. To repay whoever god he has to for giving you back. He was so close to losing you and he won't ever let it happen again. He ripped your shirt off and licked his lips. You grin and bite your lip. He's got a lot to remind you of!